| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | You, uh, got a minute, boss? | 老板 能耽误你一分钟吗 |
| [00:06] | Actually, I’m kind of busy. | 我现在有点忙 |
| [00:08] | I’m pushing new code on an API for this e-comm platform. | 我在给这个电子商务平台的界面编程呢 |
| [00:11] | “I am from the future. | “我来自未来 |
| [00:12] | I am a handsome robot.” | 我是个帅气机器人” |
| [00:14] | Look, I-I wouldn’t bother you with this | 我要不是觉得这事很重要 |
| [00:16] | if I didn’t think it was important. | 我也不敢打扰您啊 |
| [00:17] | Okay. Just make it quick. | 好吧 赶紧弄完 |
| [00:19] | That’s my specialty. | 这可是我最在行的 |
| [00:20] | Ask any woman I’ve ever been with. | 跟我相好过的女人都知道 |
| [00:23] | I will call them both. | 她们两个我都会问 |
| [00:27] | What do you got? | 你有啥问题 |
| [00:28] | Behold your new | 看好你的 |
| [00:31] | coffee mug. | 全新咖啡杯 |
| [00:34] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:36] | Remember? You asked me to look for new mugs for your office. | 你忘了你让我帮你办公室买个新咖啡杯吗 |
| [00:38] | What do you think? | 你觉得如何 |
| [00:39] | Well, there’s a hole on the top | 杯顶有洞 |
| [00:41] | and no hole on the bottom. | 杯底无洞 |
| [00:42] | Nailed it. | 干得漂亮啊 |
| [00:43] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [00:44] | Uh, so, uh, what do you want written on it? | 你想要上面写着什么字样呢 |
| [00:45] | Written on it? | 写什么字 |
| [00:47] | Uh, your choices are | 你的选择有 |
| [00:48] | “Coffee,” “Java” or “Joe.” | “咖啡””爪哇”或”乔” |
| [00:50] | I don’t know. Just… Joe. | 不知道 就弄个”乔”吧 |
| [00:52] | Excellent choice. | 好选择 |
| [00:53] | Although… what if you hire a guy named Joe? | 但是 万一你请了一个叫”乔”的员工呢 |
| [00:56] | I-I think the temptation for these mugs | 我觉得这些杯子不翼而飞 |
| [00:57] | to walk out the door is a little too high. | 几率有点太高啊 |
| [00:59] | Fine. Just write “Coffee” On it. | 那好 写”咖啡”在上面吧 |
| [01:01] | Great! Uh, coffee in the mug, | 好 里边装咖啡 |
| [01:03] | and coffee on the mug. Love it! | 外边写咖啡 妙哉 |
| [01:06] | But, uh, let me run this past you: | 但我也给你提一下这个 |
| [01:07] | “Java the Mug.” | “爪哇杯”[坏蛋贾瓦] |
| [01:11] | You know, because of Star Wars. | 跟星战里面的角色音似嘛 |
| [01:14] | Stop! | 够了 |
| [01:14] | Right. Right. | 好的 好的 |
| [01:16] | You’re busy. | 你在忙 |
| [01:17] | Oh! Uh, one last thing. | 还有最后一件事 |
| [01:19] | Oh, good God! Alan, | 天啊 艾伦 |
| [01:20] | I hired you as my assistant | 我雇你来当我助理 |
| [01:22] | so I don’t have to think about things like this. | 就是让我自己不用烦这些琐事 |
| [01:23] | Oh, yeah, I know, | 我知道 |
| [01:24] | but I want to do a good job for you. | 我只是想把工作做得尽善尽美 |
| [01:26] | I mean, you’re gonna look at this every day | 毕竟这个杯子你得天天看 |
| [01:27] | and I don’t want you to hate it. | 我不想你看它不顺眼 |
| [01:28] | That does happen with things | 这的确是有发生在 |
| [01:30] | I look at every day. | 我每天看到的某人身上 |
| [01:32] | Okay, so one final question: | 好吧 最最后一个问题 |
| [01:34] | do you want your mug to be left-handed or right-handed? | 你想要左撇子用杯 还是右撇子用杯 |
| [01:40] | You’re kidding, right? | 你是在开玩笑对吧 |
| [01:41] | No, some people hold ’em in their left hand, | 没有啊 有些人用左手拿杯 |
| [01:43] | some people hold ’em in their right hand. | 有些人习惯用右手拿杯 |
| [01:55] | Okay. Okay. | 行 行 |
| [01:57] | Changing your mug from “World’s Greatest Boss” | 我要把你杯子上的”世界最棒老板”字样 |
| [01:59] | – to “World’s Smartest Boss.” – Okay. | -改成”世界最聪明老板” -好了 |
| [02:01] | I’m gonna go pee. | 我要去撒尿了 |
| [02:03] | Oh, oh, as long as you’re in the bathroom, uh, | 趁你在厕所里的时候呢 |
| [02:04] | I left three different types of toilet tissue in there for you. | 看看我放里面的三种不同厕纸 |
| [02:07] | Uh, let me know which one is best. | 告诉我你最喜欢哪一种啊 |
| [02:10] | Oh! And the brown one is not a joke. | 还有 棕色那款不是恶作剧而已哦 |
| [02:14] | “Hire me, Walden. I can be your assistant.” | “雇我吧 沃顿 我能当你的秘书” |
| [02:16] | You know what your mug should say? | 你知道你的杯子应该写啥吗 |
| [02:17] | “World’s Worst Employee.” | “世界最烂员工” |
| [02:22] | Oh, World’s Second Worst Employee. | 世界第二烂员工 |
| [02:38] | Hey, nap time’s over. | 午觉时间结束 |
| [02:40] | I’m not napping. | 我没在睡午觉 |
| [02:41] | I threw my back out. | 我腰不行了 |
| [02:43] | My God, are you okay? What happened? | 天啊 你没事吧 怎么回事 |
| [02:45] | It seized up when I was climbing into your bed to take a nap. | 它在我要爬上你床睡午觉的时候就废了 |
| [02:49] | Okay, uh, everything’s gonna be okay. | 没事的 |
| [02:52] | Just… relax. | 你就放轻松 |
| [02:53] | Alan, get up here! | 艾伦 上来 |
| [02:54] | Why are you calling Zippy? | 你叫废柴上来干嘛 |
| [02:56] | He’s a chiropractor– he can help. | 他是整脊师 他可以帮你 |
| [02:57] | Oh, stop. | 别说了 |
| [02:59] | It hurts when I laugh. Oh. | 我一笑背就疼 |
| [03:01] | Has this happened before? | 以前发生过这事吗 |
| [03:03] | Once. At a bike rally in Sturgis. | 一次 在斯特吉斯的摩托骑士集会时 |
| [03:06] | Me and a couple of Hells Angels decided to drop acid | 我跟一帮车友会的人一起嗑药 |
| [03:09] | and get naked. | 然后脱光玩 |
| [03:11] | Alan! | 艾伦 |
| [03:13] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [03:14] | Is something wrong? | 发生什么事了吗 |
| [03:16] | Berta threw her back out. | 波塔背伤了 |
| [03:17] | Oh, no. What should we do? | 不是吧 那我们怎么办 |
| [03:19] | Well, I called a chiropractor. | 我叫了个整脊师来 |
| [03:20] | Great. | 那好 |
| [03:23] | Oh, me! Oh… | 我啊 |
| [03:26] | Well, uh, let’s see what we got here. | 来看看情况如何 |
| [03:28] | Where’s the pain? | 哪里感觉到疼痛[讨厌鬼] |
| [03:29] | Standing in front of me asking stupid questions. | 正站在我面前问我傻逼问题呢 |
| [03:32] | Berta, be nice. Alan’s a doctor. | 波塔 别这样 艾伦是个医生 |
| [03:36] | Yes, yes, ha-ha. | 是是 笑吧 |
| [03:37] | But I can help you. | 但我真的能帮你 |
| [03:39] | Although I am legally obligated to tell you | 虽然我根据法律规定 应该先告知你 |
| [03:41] | my license has expired. | 我的执照已经过期 |
| [03:42] | But thankfully backs haven’t changed that much | 但幸好医师协会的人给我差评 |
| [03:44] | since my unsuccessful board review. | 到现在的这段期间 背部没啥进化 |
| [03:46] | So, uh, you can’t move at all? | 你完全不能动是吗 |
| [03:48] | Every time I do, it tightens up more. | 我一想动 我背后就感觉更紧 |
| [03:50] | Oh, sounds like a classic back spasm. | 听起来应该就是背抽筋了 |
| [03:52] | You probably just need bed rest and ice, uh, | 基本上你就在床上休养 冰敷冰敷 |
| [03:54] | but, just in case, let me see if you need a spinal adjustment. | 保险起见 我检查你需不需要调整脊椎吧 |
| [03:57] | Touch me and you die. | 敢碰我你就死定了 |
| [03:58] | She may also need an attitude adjustment. | 她还需要点态度调整呢 |
| [04:02] | Okay, I’ll call my doctor and have him come take a look. | 好吧 我打给我的家庭医生让他来看看 |
| [04:05] | Western medicine. He’ll probably just prescribe pain killers. | 西方医学 估计就是开点止痛药给她 |
| [04:08] | Call him. | 赶紧打给他 |
| [04:09] | I will. In the meantime, | 我在打 这期间 |
| [04:11] | you stay here as long as you need. | 你就乖乖躺着多休息吧 |
| [04:13] | I’ll take the guest room. | 我可以去睡客房 |
| [04:14] | Why? My back’s out but my front still works. | 何必呢 我背不行了 可是”正面”没问题啊 |
| [04:17] | Be like Sturgis all over again. | 当年聚会也是如此 |
| [04:25] | Morning. | 早安 |
| [04:28] | Hey, were you alone last night? | 你昨晚是自己一个人在房里吗 |
| [04:30] | Yeah, why? | 对啊 干嘛问 |
| [04:31] | Because from 11:15 to 11:22, | 因为昨晚11点15到11点22 |
| [04:34] | all I heard was, “Oh, yeah, | 我就光听到了”爽啊 |
| [04:36] | that’s the way Daddy likes it.” | 爹爹就喜欢这样” |
| [04:44] | Uh, right, the-the walls are really thin, | 是这样的 我房间和客房的 |
| [04:47] | uh, between my bedroom and the guest room, | 墙壁有点薄 |
| [04:49] | and I-I was watching TV. | 我当时是在看电视 |
| [04:53] | So the same show came on again at 1:30 | 所以同一档节目在1点30跟 |
| [04:56] | and then again at 4:15? | 4点15的时候又重播了吗 |
| [05:00] | Weird. | 真是怪事 |
| [05:02] | Can I ask you something? | 我能问你个问题吗 |
| [05:05] | What is wrong with Daddy? | “爹爹”的脑子是有啥病 |
| [05:07] | He’s lonely, okay? | 他很孤单 可以吗 |
| [05:10] | Can you just let it go? | 能别一直不放吗 |
| [05:12] | I should ask you the same question. | 我也想问你同一个问题 |
| [05:16] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [05:18] | Well, since Berta is incapacitated, | 波塔现在不行了 |
| [05:19] | I have taken the initiative to design and build a chore wheel. | 我主动来做出这个家事轮盘 |
| [05:23] | What is a chore wheel? | 家事轮盘是什么东西 |
| [05:24] | It is a wheel with a variety of chores on the outside | 这轮盘外圈写着各种家事 |
| [05:27] | and names on the inside. | 内圈有着名字 |
| [05:28] | I got the idea from my brother Charlie, | 这点子是跟查理学的 |
| [05:30] | who had a whore wheel. | 他有一个妓女轮盘 |
| [05:34] | The only name on it is “Walden”” | 内圈名字为什么只有沃顿 |
| [05:36] | Ah, that’s because it was my chore to make the chore wheel. | 因为我负责的家事就是做这个轮盘 |
| [05:40] | And your first chore | 而你的第一件家事 |
| [05:41] | is… | 就是… |
| [05:43] | “Cleaning Alan’s room.” | “打扫艾伦房间” |
| [05:46] | That’s gonna be tough after last night. | 做完过后 这活儿可真够呛 |
| [05:50] | Maybe you should have Daddy do it. | 这活儿还是让”爹爹”去干吧 |
| [05:56] | Whoa, somebody found my stash. | 有人找到我的大麻藏货啦 |
| [05:59] | Wasn’t hard. It was right here in this box | 很轻松啊 就放在这个写着 |
| [06:01] | that says “Not Pot.” | “不是大麻”的盒子里 |
| [06:04] | Very clever. | 很有哏啊 |
| [06:06] | I didn’t want anybody to find my pot. | 我不想别人找到我的大麻嘛 |
| [06:08] | I was about to write, uh, | 我本来打算写 |
| [06:09] | “This Box Contains Poisonous Jumping Bugs,” | “此盒装有剧毒弹跳虫子” |
| [06:12] | but then I thought, “What if this magic marker | 但我后来想到 万一这只魔术笔 |
| [06:14] | is actually magic and it turns my pot | 真的有魔力 把我的大麻 |
| [06:16] | into poisonous jumping bugs?” | 变成了剧毒弹跳虫了怎么办 |
| [06:21] | I was really high. | 我当时嗑傻了 |
| [06:22] | Uh, you know, I-I really don’t think it’s a good idea | 我真的觉得把大麻 |
| [06:24] | to mix marijuana with muscle relaxers. | 跟肌肉松弛剂混用不是好主意 |
| [06:27] | Oh, those pills are long gone. | 那些药我都吃完了 |
| [06:28] | What? You had a good two weeks’ worth. | 什么 你那是两周的分量呢 |
| [06:30] | Or a great one night’s worth. | 或者是超爽一夜分量 |
| [06:33] | Oh, bacon. | 培根呢 |
| [06:35] | You guys take such good care of me. | 你们把我照顾得真好 |
| [06:37] | That’s because you take good care of us. | 那是因为你平常也是这么对我们 |
| [06:39] | That’s because I love you guys. | 那是因为我爱你们 |
| [06:42] | I love you more. Shh! | 我更爱你 |
| [06:44] | How’s your back feeling? | 你的背感觉怎么样 |
| [06:46] | Actually, a lot better. | 其实感觉好很多了 |
| [06:48] | I think I’m ready to go back to work. | 我觉得我能开工了 |
| [06:50] | Oh, really? So you can get up? | 真的吗 你起得来啊 |
| [06:51] | Absolutely. | 当然 |
| [06:53] | Am I up? | 我起了吗 |
| [06:55] | No. | 没有啊 |
| [06:56] | Damn. | 靠 |
| [06:58] | How ’bout now? | 现在呢 |
| [07:01] | Yep, looking good. | 有了 不错哦 |
| [07:03] | Told you. | 我就说吧 |
| [07:05] | Hey! Bacon! | 哇 有培根 |
| [07:12] | Why do these have windows? | 为什么它们都有窗子 |
| [07:17] | I don’t need to see inside. | 我又不需要看到里面 |
| [07:18] | I trust ’em to wash and dry the clothes. | 我相信它们能洗干净 烘好我衣服啊 |
| [07:21] | You know, when you think about it, | 你要是仔细想想 |
| [07:23] | a lot of appliances have windows. | 很多电器都有窗子 |
| [07:25] | Ovens, | 烤箱 |
| [07:26] | microwaves. | 微波炉 |
| [07:30] | Wait a minute. Are we watching them or are they watching us? | 等等 是我们看它们 还是它们在看着我们 |
| [07:33] | Got a little contact high in there with Berta, | 抽到了波塔的大麻余劲吗 |
| [07:36] | did you? | 对吧 |
| [07:38] | Not in front of the washer. | 别在洗衣机前说 |
| [07:43] | Hey, how old do you think Berta is anyway? | 对了 你知道波塔几岁了吗 |
| [07:45] | I don’t even know her last name. | 我连她姓什么都不知道 |
| [07:48] | You know, I’m just thinkin’, I mean, she hurt her back. | 我在想 她伤了背部 |
| [07:52] | It’s taking her a while to recover. | 需要一段时间疗伤 |
| [07:54] | I mean, maybe this job’s just getting to be too much for her. | 这工作是不是对她开始负荷过大啦 |
| [07:57] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [07:58] | Yeah, I don’t know. | 对啊 我也不知道 |
| [07:59] | I mean, she’s not getting any younger, | 她一天比一天老 |
| [08:00] | and it’s a pretty labor-intensive job. | 这又是很靠体力的工作 |
| [08:02] | Why in the world do you wear boys’ husky underwear? | 为什么你会穿小男孩的内裤啊 |
| [08:08] | Okay, you know how some people trim the hedges | 有些人修剪树枝桠好让 |
| [08:10] | to make the tree look bigger? | “树”能看起来”大”一些吗 |
| [08:18] | Well, I say stuff the tree in a smaller yard. | 我觉得把”树”放进”小院子”里更好 |
| [08:24] | We, when the police raid the house | 哪天警察要是来家里搜查 |
| [08:26] | and find a drawer full of boys’ underwear, | 找到了一个满是男童内裤的抽屉 |
| [08:28] | that’s not gonna be good for any of us. | 我们肯定有得好受 |
| [08:30] | Neither is a drawer full of pot. | 满是大麻的抽屉也好不到哪去 |
| [08:32] | That’s why I wrote “Not Pot” on it. | 所以我才写了”不是大麻”啊 |
| [08:36] | So are you saying you think it’s time for Berta to retire? | 你觉得波塔是时候退休了吗 |
| [08:39] | I don’t know. Everyone slows down eventually. | 不知道 人总有不堪负荷的一天 |
| [08:41] | Mmm, maybe you’re right. | 你说得不无道理 |
| [08:43] | Maybe it’s time to put the old girl out to pasture. | 或许真是时候把老姑娘送去 |
| [08:46] | Send her off to the housekeeper farm upstate. | 送到农场去休养的时候了 |
| [08:50] | That might not be the best way to tell her. | 这么告诉她可能下场会很惨 |
| [08:53] | What? The-the farm is a beautiful place. | 干嘛 那农场风景也很怡人啊 |
| [08:55] | She can run out in the fields with all the other housekeepers. | 她可以跟其他退休帮佣一起在草地跑步 |
| [08:59] | There’s sponges and fabric softener | 海绵与衣物柔软精摆得 |
| [09:01] | as far as the eye can see. | 一眼望不到边际 |
| [09:04] | And the only dishes left in the sink are made of chocolate. | 而水槽唯一没洗的碗 是用巧克力做成的 |
| [09:08] | I may be a little stoned, too. | 我可能也间接抽到了点大麻 |
| [09:11] | You ever hear about the roommate farm? | 那你听过室友农场吗 |
| [09:18] | Berta. | 波塔 |
| [09:19] | We got a little surprise for you. | 我们为你准备了点小惊喜 |
| [09:21] | Chuck Norris? | 查克·诺里斯吗[硬汉] |
| [09:24] | Fried chicken, cheesecake and beer. | 炸鸡 芝士蛋糕与啤酒 |
| [09:27] | That’s what my first husband requested for his last meal. | 我第一任丈夫死刑前就要求了吃这些 |
| [09:31] | Am I dying? | 我要死了吗 |
| [09:33] | Oh, don’t be silly. | 别傻了 |
| [09:34] | Do you like farms? | 你喜欢农场吗 |
| [09:36] | What? | 什么 |
| [09:37] | I-I think what he’s trying to say is, | 我想他的意思是 |
| [09:40] | have you ever thought about hanging up the old toilet brush? | 你有想过哪天高挂马桶刷 |
| [09:45] | Raising that vest up to the rafters? | 退出帮佣江湖吗 |
| [09:48] | Oh, my God, you’re firing me. | 天啊 你要炒了我 |
| [09:51] | No. I-I would never fire you. | 不 我永远不会炒掉你 |
| [09:53] | I’m talking about retirement. | 我是在说退休 |
| [09:54] | Just kicking back, | 让你金盆洗手 |
| [09:55] | taking it easy, getting high every day. | 放松度日 天天嗑到爽 |
| [09:57] | I do that now. | 我现在就这样了啊 |
| [10:01] | Besides, I can’t afford to retire. | 而且我也退休不起啊 |
| [10:03] | Well, what about that pension plan I set up for you? | 我帮你设立的那份退休金呢 |
| [10:05] | I’ll tell you what happened to it: life. | “完美”生活带走了那些钱 |
| [10:07] | Your house needs a new roof, | 房子屋顶需要翻修 |
| [10:09] | your grandson needs braces, | 外孙需要带牙套 |
| [10:10] | your daughter’s meth lab explodes. | 女儿的冰毒作坊又爆炸了 |
| [10:13] | What were you planning on doing, | 你本来是怎么打算的 |
| [10:15] | working for the rest of your life? | 一辈子就这样辛苦地工作下去吗 |
| [10:16] | Nah, I thought about, uh, getting a villa in Tuscany. | 我本来打算在意大利买套别墅住下的 |
| [10:20] | Then I said, “Nah, I’ll just hang around here | 最后我想 还是待在这里 |
| [10:22] | and clean the skid marks out of Zippy’s underwear.” | 继续洗二傻子的屎内裤吧 |
| [10:29] | How about this? | 这样如何 |
| [10:31] | What if you could make the same money you’re making now | 如果能让你领现在同样的薪水 |
| [10:35] | and never have to work again? | 以后却再也不用工作 你觉得怎么样 |
| [10:37] | One last job? I like it. | 干最后一票吗 我喜欢 |
| [10:38] | Am I driving or shooting? | 要我当司机还是要我当枪手 |
| [10:40] | No. You retire, | 不 是让你退休 |
| [10:43] | and I’ll pay you for the rest of your life. | 而我会终身付你薪水 |
| [10:45] | You’re gonna pay me for doing nothing? | 我不用干活 你还肯付我薪水 |
| [10:47] | Yeah. I call it the Alan Harper Plan. | 对 我把它命名为艾伦·哈勃计划 |
| [10:51] | Where’s this coming from? | 怎么突然冒出这么个想法了 |
| [10:53] | Uh, we’re-we’re just… worried about you. | 我们很担心你 |
| [10:56] | This is a tough job, | 这份工作太辛苦 |
| [10:57] | especially for a woman of your age. | 尤其是对你这种年纪的妇女 |
| [10:59] | What? | 你说啥 |
| [11:00] | He said it’s hard for a woman your age to do this job. | 他说你这么大年纪的妇女做这工作太辛苦 |
| [11:03] | I heard him! | 我听得很清楚 |
| [11:04] | Oh. | 好吧 |
| [11:05] | I can do the job just fine. | 我胜任这份工作没问题 |
| [11:07] | Really? Because you basically bent over | 是吗 可你只是弯了一下腰 |
| [11:09] | and haven’t been able to get out of bed for two days. | 然后就两天爬不起床了 |
| [11:12] | So you just want to treat me like some pathetic charity case | 所以你是把我当需要救济的可怜虫 |
| [11:16] | you can throw money at. | 用钱来打发我是吧 |
| [11:17] | Oh, no-no one’s saying you’re a charity case. | 没人说你是需要救济的人 |
| [11:20] | Although, I, on the other hand, | 不过对我来说 |
| [11:21] | would be happy to be one of Walden’s Kids. | 倒是很高兴能被”沃尔顿孩童基金“救济一下 |
| [11:26] | I’m just trying to do something nice for you. | 我不过是想帮你做件好事 |
| [11:29] | By giving me a handout? | 你的好事就是施舍给我钱吗 |
| [11:30] | Unlike you, I’ve worked for every cent I ever made. | 我不像你 我赚的每分钱都是我的血汗钱 |
| [11:33] | Excuse me? | 你说什么呢 |
| [11:34] | You got rich from one idea. | 你光凭一个想法就发了财 |
| [11:35] | You have no clue what it’s like to work for a living. | 你根本不懂为生活奔波的辛苦 |
| [11:38] | Okay, I am not gonna apologize for being successful. | 事业成功又不是我的错 |
| [11:41] | No, you are not, my friend. | 当然不是你的错了 小伙伴 |
| [11:42] | – Shut up! – Shut up! | -闭嘴 -闭嘴 |
| [11:44] | And please, “work for a living”? | 你还好意思说 为生活奔波 |
| [11:45] | You hurt your back trying to take a nap! | 你是因为偷懒打盹才伤到背的 |
| [11:47] | You know what? | 跟你明说吧 |
| [11:49] | I don’t have to take this crap. | 我才不要听你继续废话呢 |
| [11:50] | Well, that makes two of us. | 我也正有此意呢 |
| [11:52] | It’s settled then. I quit. | 那敢情好 我不干了 |
| [11:53] | Oh, no! Where am I gonna find someone to eat my food, | 不要啊 我上哪儿去找人白吃我的东西 |
| [11:56] | smoke my pot and sleep in my bed?! | 抽光我的大麻 还赖在我床上不走呀 |
| [11:59] | Oh… | 这个嘛 |
| [12:00] | Shut up! | 闭嘴好不好 |
| [12:12] | So what do you think? Was I right, or what? | 你觉得如何 我说得对吧 |
| [12:15] | Yes, Helen is great. | 没错 海伦真是太棒了 |
| [12:17] | Although I still don’t understand | 虽然我还是不能理解 |
| [12:18] | why we couldn’t at least interview a topless maid. | 干嘛不面试个半裸女仆过过眼瘾也好 |
| [12:21] | Or four. | 或者面试4个 |
| [12:23] | Will you forget about the topless maids? | 你不要再想什么半裸女仆的事了 |
| [12:25] | I will never forget about the topless maids. | 我会永远也忘不了她 |
| [12:27] | You saw the video. | 你也看过那段视频了 |
| [12:28] | “The only thing dirty in your house will be me.” | 我会是你家中唯一所存”肮脏”的东西哦 |
| [12:33] | Supper time, boys. | 吃晚饭了 孩子们 |
| [12:34] | – Oh. – Oh. | -好 -好 |
| [12:36] | Helen, this lemonade is delicious. | 海伦 你做的柠檬汽水真是太好喝了 |
| [12:39] | That’s because I have a secret ingredient. | 那是因为人家用了独家秘方 |
| [12:41] | Oh, really? What-What is it? | 真的吗 是什么呀 |
| [12:43] | Love. | 满满的爱啊 |
| [12:46] | And, like, a pound of sugar. | 还有一磅砂糖 |
| [12:49] | Hey, you still miss Berta? | 你还想念波塔吗 |
| [12:52] | Miss Berta who? | 波塔谁呀 |
| [12:53] | Hey, maybe that’s her last name, “Who”” | 也许她就姓”谁呀” |
| [12:56] | More like, “Who Cares.” | 我看是姓”谁管她呀” |
| [13:00] | Oh, my God, look at this! | 我的天 看看这一桌 |
| [13:03] | And for dessert, | 今天的甜点是 |
| [13:05] | when your tummy starts to rumble, | 当你肚子饿得咕咕响 |
| [13:07] | there’s Helen’s apple crumble. | 海伦的苹果奶酥就隆重登场 |
| [13:10] | Shut your mouth. | 别继续诱惑我们了 |
| [13:12] | I won’t. | 我偏不 |
| [13:14] | You shouldn’t. | 你继续 |
| [13:17] | The only thing Berta ever made with an apple was a bong. | 贝塔只用苹果做过大麻烟枪 |
| [13:20] | Oh, she sounds like a hoot-and-a-half. | 哇 她听起来可挺有趣的 |
| [13:23] | Well, enjoy, boys! | 好好享用吧 孩子们 |
| [13:24] | Oh, no, no, no, no, come join us. | 别走呀 和我们一起吃吧 |
| [13:29] | Well, thank you very much. | 那就恭敬不如从命了 |
| [13:33] | The only thing sweeter | 你们这么彬彬有礼 |
| [13:35] | than your manners is my peach cobbler. | 只有我的蜜桃派能甜过你俩了 |
| [13:39] | Spoiler alert– tomorrow night. | 剧透一下 是明晚的菜单哦 |
| [13:43] | Well, I will be a gobbler of your cobbler. | 我要添光光你的蜜桃派 |
| [13:46] | I am gonna stitch that on a pillow. | 这句话我要绣在我家抱枕上 |
| [13:52] | Oh, do you… do you mind if I say grace? | 那个 你们不介意我先祷告一下吧 |
| [13:55] | Yeah, sure, go ahead. | 好啊 你随意 |
| [13:58] | Uh, should I eat this unblessed biscuit, or spit it out? | 这个没被赐福的饼我是该吃还是该吐呢 |
| [14:01] | Dear Lord, | 亲爱的主 |
| [14:02] | we thank you for the food that we are about to receive, | 感谢你赐给我们今天的食物 |
| [14:06] | and all of the other blessings that you have bestowed upon us. | 以及其它所有你所给的恩惠 |
| [14:10] | Hmm. That was beautiful. | 说的真好 |
| [14:11] | And we humbly ask | 我们卑微地请求你 |
| [14:12] | that you help Alan and Walden | 对艾伦和沃尔顿伸出援手 |
| [14:15] | find the path to righteousness. | 让他们早日回归正途 |
| [14:16] | Wait. What? | 等等 什么 |
| [14:19] | And lead them out | 带领他们走出 |
| [14:21] | of their sinful homosexual lifestyles… | 罪恶的同性恋深渊 |
| [14:25] | …lest their souls burn in the fiery pits of hell | 以免他们的灵魂在地狱深处被煎烤 |
| [14:29] | for all eternity with all of the other Sodomites. | 和其他鸡奸者一起 永世不得翻身 |
| [14:36] | Amen. Can I get some sweet potatoes? | 阿门 帮我拿点番薯好不好 |
| [14:37] | Oh, sure. | 没问题 |
| [14:40] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [14:42] | What? She already thinks | 干嘛 她已经觉得 |
| [14:43] | we’re gobbling each others’ cobblers. | 我们俩把对方的”蜜桃“舔光光了 |
| [14:53] | When you’re finished with that dish, | 你吃完饭以后 |
| [14:54] | just leave it, and I’ll take care of it. | 盘子放那里就好 我会洗的 |
| [14:56] | Oh, thank you, Colleen. | 好 谢了 可玲 |
| [14:57] | No problem. | 不用谢 |
| [14:58] | I’m gonna go make the beds. | 我去整理床铺了 |
| [15:01] | I don’t want to spoil the surprise, | 我不想提前剧透 |
| [15:03] | but I’m pretty sure she was carrying a little bag | 但我相当确定她有一个小包 |
| [15:05] | of pillow chocolates. | 里面放着枕边巧克力糖 |
| [15:07] | I have to admit, she’s pretty terrific. | 我不得不承认 她真是个极品 |
| [15:09] | Right? I mean, she’s a good cook, she’s punctual. | 对吧 她又擅长厨艺 又守时 |
| [15:11] | She’s accepting of our lifestyle. | 她接受了我们的生活方式 |
| [15:13] | There is no lifestyle to accept. | 根本没什么生活方式要她接受 |
| [15:18] | But if things change, it’s nice to know | 但如果事情有变 知道我们不会 |
| [15:20] | we won’t lose a great housekeeper. | 失去一个好管家 是件好事 |
| [15:26] | That’s-that’s not me. | 不是我的 |
| [15:27] | Oh, uh, maybe it’s Colleen. | 也许是卡琳的 |
| [15:28] | Um, Colleen? | 卡琳 |
| [15:33] | Oh, for the love of God, just turn it off. | 拜托 关掉吧 |
| [15:37] | Oh, dear. | 我的天 |
| [15:39] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [15:41] | Look at this. | 看这个 |
| [15:47] | Okay, I’m-I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this. | 我相信肯定有合理的解释 |
| [15:50] | I mean, she’s a… she’s a single woman, | 她是单身女性 |
| [15:52] | probably just trying to protect herself. | 可能只是想保护自己 |
| [15:54] | So, what’s this one for? | 那这个是用来做什么的 |
| [15:57] | She has two guns? | 她有两把枪吗 |
| [16:02] | I count four… | 我数到了四把 |
| [16:05] | and what looks like a shank. | 外加一个像拿来捅人的玩意 |
| [16:08] | Okay, you get to fire this one. | 这次炒人你来 |
| [16:10] | Did I hear my phone? | 我的电话是不是响了 |
| [16:15] | Alan has something he’d like to tell you. | 艾伦有话要对你说 |
| [16:19] | I think I made a pillow chocolate | 我想我把一点”巧克力” |
| [16:21] | in my boys’ huskies. | 拉在了我的男童内裤里 |
| [16:25] | Okay. Well, our last housekeeper, | 我们最后一位管家 |
| [16:28] | um, cleaned. Mm. | 会打扫卫生 |
| [16:30] | And, uh, sometimes cooked for us. | 有时候为我们做饭 |
| [16:31] | Is that something that you’re comfortable with? | 这点你有意见吗 |
| [16:33] | Sure. What would you like me to cook? | 没 你们想让我做什么 |
| [16:36] | Oh, I-I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [16:38] | For breakfast, I like pancakes. | 早餐我喜欢吃煎饼 |
| [16:40] | Of course. Pancakes! | 当然了 煎饼 |
| [16:44] | I’m… I’m-I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [16:47] | You see an African-American woman, | 你们看到非裔美国女人 |
| [16:48] | and the first thing you think is, | 你们最先想到的就是 |
| [16:50] | “Aunt Jemima going to whip us up some flapjacks.” | 黑人厨娘为会咱们烙几张大煎饼 |
| [16:54] | No! No! No! No, no. Um… | 不是 你误会了 |
| [16:56] | Do I need to bring my own bandana, | 我要自己带花头巾来吗 |
| [16:57] | or are you going to supply me with one? | 还是你们提供 |
| [17:00] | Oh, I’m-I’m sorry. We just, uh… | 对不起 我们只是 |
| [17:02] | – You know, we really like pancakes. – Yeah. | -我们很喜欢煎饼 -没错 |
| [17:03] | But, you know, I suppose waffles are-are fine. | 不过我想华夫饼也没问题 |
| [17:05] | Yeah, waffles. | 对 华夫饼 |
| [17:06] | Chicken and waffles? | 炸鸡加华夫饼吗[南方黑人食物] |
| [17:09] | You know what? Let’s… | 知道吗 我们 |
| [17:10] | Let’s just forget breakfast. | 我们不吃早餐了 |
| [17:12] | I’ll just… I’ll just have coffee. | 我喝咖啡就行了 |
| [17:14] | How do you take it? | 你喜欢喝什么样的 |
| [17:16] | Bla… | 黑… |
| [17:19] | I prefer tea. | 我喝茶好了 |
| [17:22] | Um, so, are you okay with doing laundry? | 你对洗衣服没意见吧 |
| [17:25] | Yeah. And I suppose you want me | 没 我想你需要我 |
| [17:28] | to separate the whites from the colors. | 把白色和”黑”色的分开 |
| [17:33] | Um, but you are aware | 你知道自己 |
| [17:36] | you’re applying for a job as a housekeeper? | 是在申请管家的工作吧 |
| [17:38] | Oh, so, now I don’t know why I’m here? | 现在我连我来的原因都不知道了吗 |
| [17:41] | Um, I’m not sure you do. | 我不太确定你知道 |
| [17:43] | – What?! – Okay, okay. Let’s… | -说啥呢 -好啦好啦 我们… |
| [17:47] | Everybody just calm down. | 大家冷静 |
| [17:49] | Oh, so now I’ve got to calm down | 现在我又需要冷静了吗 |
| [17:51] | just because I was diagnosed with schizophrenia?! | 就因为我被诊断出患了精神分裂症吗 |
| [17:54] | Can you believe these fools, Donny? | 这些蠢材够离谱的吧 唐尼 |
| [18:03] | Okay, I think we have all the information we need. | 好吧 需要知道的我们都问了 |
| [18:07] | Um… we’ll be in touch. | 我们再联系 |
| [18:10] | Great. | 好的 |
| [18:12] | Let me know if you need any references. | 需要推荐人的话就告诉我 |
| [18:16] | Oh, you all have a lovely home. | 你们的家真漂亮 |
| [18:22] | Donny, come on now! | 唐尼 快走啊 |
| [18:28] | No, no. You know what? I changed my mind. | 不 知道吗 我改主意了 |
| [18:30] | I don’t want to talk to Berta. | 我不想和波塔说话 |
| [18:32] | Too bad. You wouldn’t let a topless maid make your bed, | 太不幸了 你不让裸上身女佣帮你铺床 |
| [18:35] | and now you’ve got to lie in it. | 现在你就得自食其果 |
| [18:37] | All right, well, I am not going to apologize. | 好吧 但我不会道歉 |
| [18:40] | You won’t have to. | 你不必道歉 |
| [18:41] | She said if you made an effort and came to her, | 她说只要你放下姿态来找她 |
| [18:43] | that she’d be more than happy to apologize to you. | 她会很乐意跟你道歉 |
| [18:46] | Zippy says you want to apologize. | 废柴说你想来道歉 |
| [18:50] | See what I did there? Can we come in? | 看我调解得多成功 我们可以进来吗 |
| [18:52] | No, place is a mess. | 不行 家里太乱了 |
| [18:54] | I was a jerk to my housekeeper, so she quit. | 我对我的管家态度太差 她辞职了 |
| [18:57] | Okay, that’s it. I’m out of here. | 我受够了 我走了 |
| [18:59] | Oh, come on, Walden! Is it that difficult to say you’re sorry? | 拜托 沃顿 道歉有这么难吗 |
| [19:02] | It is when you have nothing to say you’re sorry for. | 不是我错的时候道歉当然难 |
| [19:04] | Are you that clueless? You hurt my feelings. | 你神经这么大条吗 你伤了我的心 |
| [19:07] | You hurt my feelings, and you smoked all my pot, | 你才是伤了我的心 你抽光了我的大麻 |
| [19:10] | so I had no way of not feeling what I was feeling. | 所以我没有办法不感觉到我在伤心 |
| [19:14] | Okay, okay, dialogue is good. | 好的 对话很顺利 |
| [19:16] | Now let’s see if we can find some common ground. | 现在看看咱们能否达到一致 |
| [19:18] | You’re an idiot. | 你是个白痴 |
| [19:18] | Agree. | 同意 |
| [19:22] | Look, I… I… | 听着 我 我… |
| [19:25] | was trying to help you because I care about you. | 只是想帮你 因为我关心你 |
| [19:28] | Not because I see you as a charity case. | 我并不觉得帮你是施舍你 |
| [19:31] | And I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression. | 很抱歉你误会了 |
| [19:33] | I’m sorry I overreacted. | 抱歉我反应过度了 |
| [19:36] | Besides, I was so high, | 再说了 我太嗨了 |
| [19:38] | I thought you were a talking dragon. | 我以为你是会说话的龙 |
| [19:44] | It is really good stuff. | 那是上等货 |
| [19:48] | That’s the stuff I give my grandkids at Christmas. | 我送孙子的圣诞礼物就是这个 |
| [19:53] | It’s funny cause I get it from a guy named Jesus. | 搞笑的是 给我货的男人叫耶稣 |
| [19:58] | So, what do you say? Will you come back? | 怎么说 要回来吗 |
| [20:00] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [20:02] | You may be right. | 也许你是对的 |
| [20:04] | I might not be able to do everything I used to do. | 也许我做不了以前做的那些活了 |
| [20:08] | Well, we’ll work around it, right? | 我们会想到办法的 对吧 |
| [20:10] | Oh, absolutely. What-whatever it takes. | 当然了 怎样都行 |
| [20:13] | Deal? | 成交吗 |
| [20:15] | Deal. | 成交 |
| [20:16] | Come on in, I’ll make you a cup of coffee. | 进来吧 我帮你泡咖啡 |
| [20:24] | Not funny! | 不好笑 |
| [20:35] | Still not funny! | 还是不好笑 |
| [20:48] | I’m glad you’re back. | 真高兴你回来了 |
| [20:50] | Me, too, and I really appreciate you getting me some help. | 我也高兴 很感谢你帮我找到帮手 |
| [20:54] | It’s the least I could do. | 这点忙是小意思 |
| [20:56] | And I have to admit, | 我得承认 |
| [20:58] | Alan was right about hiring a topless maid. | 雇用裸上身女佣这事 艾伦是对的 |
| [21:08] | If it wasn’t in the hamper, it’s not going in the washer. | 不装进洗衣篮 就别想进洗衣机 |