时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:39] | Uh, are you sure it’s okay that we’re here? | 你确定我们在这里没关系吗 |
[00:41] | Yeah. We have the house to ourselves for hours. | 没事 家里几个小时内都只有我们 |
[00:44] | Sure, but, uh, aren’t you worried about someone coming? | 好 但是你不担心会有人来吗 |
[00:47] | Yeah. Me. | 担心啊 我要”来”了 |
[00:51] | Oh, you were serious? | 原来你是说真的 |
[00:53] | Well, okay then. | 那好吧 |
[00:59] | Sorry. Did you…? | 抱歉 你有没有… |
[01:00] | Oh, yeah. I had the floor a few minutes ago. | 当然 我几分钟前就高潮过了 |
[01:03] | Yeah, remember when I yelled “Boomtown”? | 记不记得我喊了一句”爽爆了” |
[01:05] | You’re a weirdo. | 你真是个怪咖 |
[01:07] | I’m gonna hop in the shower, okay? | 我先去洗个澡 |
[01:21] | 我们刚在他们的床上做了 我真是个婊 | |
[01:45] | Amateur. | 真业余 |
[01:49] | 奥利维亚: 活动取消 马上就回家 “我爱你” | |
[02:04] | So I was thinking… | 我刚想着… |
[02:08] | Gretchen? | 格雷琴 |
[02:12] | Someone break into the house and take you hostage? | 是有人闯进来把你绑架了吗 |
[02:17] | Did you tell them I’ve watched John Wick | 你有没有跟他们说 我看过很多次 |
[02:19] | and John Wick 2 so many times? | 《疾速追杀》第一部和第二部 |
[02:28] | Jesus! | 天呐 |
[02:30] | You scared me. | 你吓了我一跳 |
[02:32] | Why are you in a towel? | 你为什么只系着浴巾 |
[02:33] | Nothing. Just showering. | 没什么 我刚洗了个澡 |
[02:36] | – Listen, I can explain. – Shut up! | -听我说 我可以解释 -闭嘴 |
[02:37] | Damn it, Boone, I swear to God, if it’s one of my friends… | 该死的 布恩 我发誓 如果是我的朋友… |
[02:40] | Just calm down. Let me speak. | 你别激动 听我说 |
[02:41] | – She still here? – No. I mean, who? | -她还在吗 -不在了 不是 你说谁 |
[02:47] | Whatever. | 随便吧 |
[02:48] | I don’t even care. | 我不在乎 |
[02:49] | Olivia! Come on! | 奥利维亚 来吧 |
[02:56] | Hi, Daddy. Girl Scouts got cancelled. | 爸 女童军活动取消了 |
[02:59] | Did you get my Bitmoji? | 你收到我发的表情了吗 |
[03:00] | I was going to send you one of poop, | 我本打算发你一坨大便的 |
[03:02] | but Mom said that was beneath me. | 但妈妈说那样太粗俗了 |
[03:03] | She’s insane. | 她疯了吧 |
[03:05] | Mom, come watch me play piano. | 妈 来看我弹钢琴 |
[03:08] | I just learned “City of Stars.” | 我刚学会《星光之城》 |
[03:10] | Isn’t that, like, four notes? | 《星光之城》不就四个音符吗 |
[03:29] | – Hi, Boone. – Hey, Neil. | -嗨 布恩 -你好 尼尔 |
[03:30] | Nice Subaru. | 斯巴鲁车不错啊 |
[03:31] | – Thank you. – Is it new? | -谢谢 -新买的吗 |
[03:33] | – Yeah. – I didn’t know you were a lesbian now. | -是啊 -我没想到你现在成了拉拉 |
[03:36] | They are gonna love your fat little tits. | 她们肯定很喜欢你肥硕的小奶子 |
[03:38] | See, this is exactly | 正因如此 |
[03:39] | why my therapist told me not to talk to you. | 我的心理医生才让我别跟你说话 |
[03:43] | Neil? | 尼尔 |
[03:44] | Neil? Neil? | 尼尔 尼尔 |
[03:47] | Neil? Neil? Neil? Neil? Neil? | 尼尔 尼尔 尼尔 尼尔 尼尔 |
[03:49] | What?! | 干什么 |
[03:51] | What, Boone? | 干什么 布恩 |
[03:52] | I didn’t mean it. No, don’t you dare! | 我不是故意的 你敢 |
[03:54] | Stop! Stop it! | 停下 别闹了 |
[03:58] | – Where are the locks on this thing?! – That’s it. | -这玩意儿怎么上锁 -够了 |
[04:00] | Damn it, let me go, you maniac! | 该死 放开我 你这个疯子 |
[04:03] | You are a child! | 你真幼稚 |
[04:05] | – Oh, get off of me! – My dick’s on your leg. | -放开我 -我鸡巴顶到你大腿了 |
[04:08] | – Oh, my dick’s on your leg. My dick’s on your leg! – No! | -我鸡巴顶到你大腿了 顶到你大腿了 -不 |
[04:09] | See you tomorrow, honey! | 明天见 宝贝 |
[04:21] | See ya, buddy. | 回见 兄弟 |
[04:23] | Sorry about your leg. | 刚刚大腿的事不好意思 |
[04:48] | 编剧[划掉]瘾君子工作室 《道格爱喜剧》 | |
[04:50] | Okay, get this. | 听听这个 |
[04:50] | So we pull out to reveal that the 7-Eleven– | 我们打算揭穿711 |
[04:53] | – it’s actually a 9/11. – Which is why | -其实是911恐怖事件 -也正因如此 |
[04:54] | the Slurpee machines got hit by little airplanes. | 里面的冰沙机才被小飞机砸到 |
[04:58] | I like it. | 我喜欢 |
[04:59] | 7-Eleven, Building 7. | 711 7号大楼 |
[05:02] | – Maybe there’s something there? – Oh, hell yeah, | -可能这里面也有故事 -说得对啊 |
[05:04] | – there’s something there. – You teach me every day. | -确实有故事 -你每天都让我受益匪浅 |
[05:05] | I saw this video on YouTube… | 我在网上看过视频… |
[05:06] | Every day, you teach me. | 每次你都能教我新东西 |
[05:08] | Any calls? | 有来电吗 |
[05:12] | No. | 没有 |
[05:13] | Got to tell my buddy Brent | 我得告诉我的好兄弟布伦特 |
[05:14] | the good news about our sketch. | 关于这个小品的好消息 |
[05:16] | Why? | 为什么 |
[05:16] | He’s my main dude. | 他是我最好的朋友 |
[05:18] | So much of a best friendship | 跟最好的朋友之间的友谊 |
[05:19] | is supporting each other through disappointments, | 很多时候都是在失落痛苦时相互扶持 |
[05:21] | that you got to share the small, good things | 所以才需要分享这类小幸福 |
[05:23] | just to balance it out. | 才能维持平衡 |
[05:25] | Sounds like me and Carlos. Mencia. | 就像我和卡洛斯 门西亚手法 |
[05:28] | We ride our Ducatis down PCH every Sunday, | 我们每周日都会骑杜卡迪机车上太平洋海岸高速 |
[05:31] | and then we just chat for hours. | 纯聊天好几个小时 |
[05:33] | Just talking? | 只聊天 |
[05:34] | This sounds weird to me for some reason. | 不知为何 在我听来有些奇怪 |
[05:36] | It’s because, as men, we’re conditioned | 那是因为作为男人 我们习惯于 |
[05:39] | to emotionally shut ourselves off from each other. | 在情感上封闭自己 |
[05:41] | It’s why half of all men die of loneliness. | 所以有一半的男人在孤独中死去 |
[05:44] | These relationships sound beautiful. | 那样的关系听起来很美好 |
[05:47] | – I want that. – Me, too. | -我也想要这样的关系 -我也是 |
[05:50] | I thought your roommate was your main dude, the Australian. | 我以为你室友就是你最好的朋友 那个澳大利亚人 |
[05:52] | Oh, Jimmy? Yeah. | 吉米吗 是啊 |
[05:54] | But we don’t have that kind of relationship at all. | 但是我们之间并没有那样的关系 |
[05:56] | If your needs aren’t being met in the relationship, | 如果在一段关系中你的需求没有被满足 |
[05:58] | you need to take a stand, bro. | 你得表明你的立场 兄弟 |
[06:00] | Okay. I’m gonna do it. | 好 我会这么做的 |
[06:03] | I’m so proud of you, Edgar. | 我真为你骄傲 埃德加 |
[06:09] | It’s no Ducati, but, uh, I have an old ATV | 我没有杜卡迪机车 但是我有一辆老式全地形车 |
[06:12] | that’s street legal | 是可以开到街上的 |
[06:13] | if you and Carlos ever want a third. | 如果你和卡洛斯还需要一个死党… |
[06:15] | We do not. | 我们不需要 |
[06:17] | Copy that. | 知道了 |
[06:20] | Stupid-ass stoner. | 傻逼瘾君子 |
[06:22] | So I’m tearing down the stairs | 在他老婆进屋的时候 |
[06:24] | just as his wife is walking up to the house. | 我正猛冲下楼梯 |
[06:27] | I have no way out, | 我没有路出去 |
[06:29] | but I remember there’s a back door. | 但后来我想起来他家有个后门 |
[06:31] | Mm, there’s always a back door. | 总会有一个”后门” |
[06:35] | I thought banging a hubby was hot, | 我原以为跟人夫上床很刺激 |
[06:37] | but now that I almost came face-to-face with his wife, | 但差点和他老婆撞个正着 |
[06:39] | I don’t know. | 我就不确定了 |
[06:40] | I feel slightly… | 我觉得有点… |
[06:43] | What’s the word? | 那个词怎么说来着 |
[06:44] | It’s like bad, but involves other people. | 就是一个不好的词 但还包括了其他人 |
[06:47] | – Carsick? Hard fart? Murder? – No. | -晕车 放屁出屎 谋杀 -不是 |
[06:50] | The point is, | 重点是 |
[06:51] | you like taking that “D” on the reg, right, dawg? | 你喜欢操他 对吗 姐们 |
[06:53] | – No diggity. – Then enjoy that shit. | -那必须的 -那就好好享受 |
[06:56] | If this hubster’s cheating on a frumpus | 如果那位人夫背叛了一个 |
[06:58] | who masturbates with a children’s vibrator, | 用儿童振动棒自慰的奇葩 |
[07:00] | that’s his problem. You do you. | 那是他的问题 你做你自己就好 |
[07:02] | You know what? You’re actually right. | 知道吗 你说得对 |
[07:05] | I know. Business has made me hella smart. | 我知道 工作让我变得特别聪明 |
[07:10] | Pass the sweet salt. | 把盐递给我 |
[07:13] | Plus, I have to admit, | 而且 我不得不承认 |
[07:15] | it was pretty hot almost getting caught banging in their bed. | 差点被捉奸在床是一件很刺激的事 |
[07:22] | 来一炮吗 这是约炮信息 | |
[07:26] | So, what’s up with you? | 你最近都有什么新鲜事 |
[07:26] | Not much. Now that you’re taking old dick, | 没什么可说的 现在你和老男人上床 |
[07:29] | I don’t really have anyone to party with. | 我还真找不到别人和我出去嗨了 |
[07:32] | What about your work friends? They seem… | 你的同事们呢 他们看起来… |
[07:36] | Yeah, they’re cool. | 是啊 他们很酷 |
[07:38] | Tara makes ugly metal art and Jeff is a Halloween person, | 塔拉是搞丑兮兮的金属艺术的 杰夫是个万圣节迷 |
[07:41] | but we’re not really friends. | 但我们并不是真正的朋友 |
[07:44] | – How come? – I don’t know, I just feel like | -为什么 -我也不知道 我就是觉得 |
[07:46] | when I’m at work, I need to keep shit locked down. | 在公司 我得把真实的自己隐藏起来 |
[07:48] | Sounds like Work Lindsay sucks. | 听起来职场的琳赛很无趣 |
[07:50] | So, what you’re saying is | 那你的意思是 |
[07:53] | I should just be myself, and they’ll want to be my friends? | 我应该做真实的自己 他们就都想做我的朋友了 |
[08:00] | Uh, okay! Sounds great! | 好吧 听起来不错 |
[08:02] | – Call you later. – Have fun with that “D” for me. | -稍后再打给你 -替我操得愉快 |
[08:12] | Jimmy? | 吉米 |
[08:16] | – Are you okay? – Edgar, last night I had a revelation. | -你还好吗 -埃德加 昨晚我顿悟了 |
[08:19] | Gretchen clearly brought that man home for my benefit. | 格雷琴把那男人带回家显然是因为我 |
[08:22] | I thought she brought him home to have sex with him. | 我以为她把他带回家是为了和他上床 |
[08:24] | That’s what she wanted us to think. | 她想让我们这么认为 |
[08:26] | I mean, they absolutely did have sex. A lot. | 虽然他们绝对做爱了 做了很多次 |
[08:28] | The noises were highly disturbing. | 那声音真的很烦人 |
[08:31] | And he’s a screamer. But then around 3:00 a.m., | 他真的很能叫床 但是大约凌晨3点的时候 |
[08:33] | I realized it was a false flag. | 我意识到那是个幌子 |
[08:35] | They could have had sex anywhere, so why here? | 他们能在任何地方做爱 那为什么要在这里呢 |
[08:38] | – Because she hates you? – That’s what I thought. | -因为她恨你 -我原本也是这么想的 |
[08:40] | But then, around 4:00 a.m., I realized, no, | 但之后 在凌晨4点左右 我意识到不是这样的 |
[08:43] | it is because she loves me. | 是因为她爱我 |
[08:45] | So I am not leaving this house | 所以在我揭穿她的诡计之前 |
[08:47] | until I blow the lid off her ruse. | 我是不会离开这里的 |
[08:48] | What about the book expo? It’s your book release. | 那书展怎么办 你的新书要发布了 |
[08:51] | Staying here is far more important. | 待在这里更为重要 |
[08:52] | Well, it sounds like you have a lot going on | 听起来你正面临很多事 |
[08:54] | and just need a friend to talk through it with. | 正需要一个好朋友来聊一聊 |
[08:58] | Why don’t we go get some steaks, have a nice Cab, and… | 不如我们去吃些牛排 喝点啤酒 |
[09:02] | – we can hash it out? – I didn’t start listening | -好好聊聊 想想办法 -直到你说”牛排和啤酒” |
[09:04] | until “Steaks and Cab,” But yes, very smart. | 我才开始认真听 但是这个主意不错 |
[09:06] | Edgar, you’re not as dumb as I think you are. | 埃德加 你没我想的那么笨嘛 |
[09:08] | Thanks. | 谢谢夸奖 |
[09:25] | So, I’m at Coachella, | 我在科契拉 |
[09:26] | and Hozier kicks me out of his trailer, | 霍兹尔把我赶出了他的拖车 |
[09:29] | and I’m already sore, | 我很受伤 |
[09:30] | and then there’s Father John Misty, | 之后约翰·米斯迪神父 |
[09:32] | all cranked up and ready to go, so I’m like, | 性趣满满准备来一发 所以我就想 |
[09:35] | all right, I guess we’re doing this. | 好吧 那就来干吧 |
[09:57] | Are you done? | 你闹完了吗 |
[10:00] | Item four. | 第四项 |
[10:04] | Nice sex moves. | 那个体位真不错 |
[10:06] | You’re pretty limber for an old guy. | 你这老家伙还挺柔软 |
[10:08] | And loud. | 也很能吼 |
[10:11] | Can’t you hang for a bit? | 你不能多留一会吗 |
[10:15] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[10:18] | It’s just… | 只是… |
[10:19] | I know we’re both grown-ups, but… | 我知道我们都是成年人了 可是 |
[10:21] | I have some residual… | 我有些残留的… |
[10:24] | murder feelings. | 杀人的感觉 |
[10:27] | I feel like it starts with a “G.” | 感觉那词开头是”内” |
[10:29] | Gauche. Gout? | 内向 内痛风 |
[10:31] | – Guilt? – That sounds wrong. | -内疚 -听起来不像 |
[10:34] | Guilt. | 内疚 |
[10:35] | Yeah. | 没错 |
[10:37] | Guilt. | 内疚 |
[10:39] | I have guilt on Olivia. | 我对奥利维亚感到内疚 |
[10:41] | I don’t feel like I’m using it right. | 感觉我好像用得不对 |
[10:48] | She texted you yesterday. | 她昨天给你发短信 |
[10:51] | That’s why I bailed. | 所以我溜走了 |
[10:53] | Sorry for snooping. | 抱歉我偷看了 |
[10:55] | – I’m a stinker. – It’s my fault. | -我是个讨厌的家伙 -是我的错 |
[10:57] | I’ve been trying to keep her out of this. | 我一直不想将她卷入进来 |
[10:59] | – Do you love her? – Of course I love her. | -你爱她吗 -我当然爱她 |
[11:00] | Then aren’t you worried about having to face her | 那你难道不担心 我们刚在她家做过爱 |
[11:03] | knowing we just had sex in her house? | 然后要怎么面对她吗 |
[11:06] | Why’d you bring that up? | 你为什么要提起这个 |
[11:08] | I’m just trying to be real, dude. | 我只是想做人真实一点 老兄 |
[11:10] | I mean… not to be gross, | 不是我要恶心你 |
[11:13] | but at some point she’s gonna come home, | 可终有一刻她将回到家 |
[11:14] | get in bed, and what, lie in it? | 上床 躺在我们刚做过的地方 |
[11:16] | – Jesus, Gretchen! – What? | -老天 格雷琴 -怎么 |
[11:18] | She is. She’s gonna lie right in it. | 她会的 她会直接躺在上面 |
[11:20] | No, she isn’t. | 不 她不会 |
[11:21] | She sleeps here with you, doesn’t she? | 她和你一起睡在这里 对吧 |
[11:22] | – I mean, every now and then. – Enough to keep her toys here. | -偶尔吧 -足以让她把玩具留在这里 |
[11:25] | – What?! – I found one of her toys yesterday. | -什么 -我昨天发现一个她的玩具 |
[11:27] | So? They’re all over the house. | 那又怎样 家里到处都是她的玩具 |
[11:28] | – What does that have to do with anything? – I don’t know! | -那又有什么关系 -我不知道 |
[11:31] | I’m just not thrilled about the idea of getting into your bed | 我只是一想到上了你的床 |
[11:34] | and seeing Olivia’s pubes everywhere. | 到处是奥利维亚的阴毛 就没性趣了 |
[11:36] | She doesn’t have pubes! | 她没有阴毛 |
[11:39] | And I just said that. | 我居然说了这话 |
[11:42] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[11:43] | You know what? Forget it! | 你猜怎么着 就当我没说 |
[11:45] | I shouldn’t have said anything! | 我什么都不该说的 |
[11:47] | Where’s your other bathroom? | 你家另外的一个洗手间呢 |
[11:48] | Just out there! You psycho! | 就在外面 你个神经病 |
[11:51] | Psycho you! | 你才神经病 |
[12:20] | So, you see, this can only mean | 所以 这只可能意味着 |
[12:22] | that her levels of anger are accelerating. | 她的怒气在逐步升级 |
[12:25] | She went from pure rage to sex revenge in record time. | 她从单纯的怒火飞速发展成性爱报复 |
[12:28] | Our inevitable reunion can’t be far off. | 我们必然的复合不会太远了 |
[12:30] | This sounds like an uncert… | 这听起来不确定… |
[12:31] | Plus, a family of raccoons has taken residence in the box spring | 还有 一家子浣熊在格雷琴扔到院子里的 |
[12:35] | Gretchen jettisoned into the yard, | 弹簧床垫上安家了 |
[12:37] | so that’s a dangerous wild card. | 所以这是危险的未知因素 |
[12:39] | Why do you think she did that? | 你觉得她为什么那么做 |
[12:40] | Like, I wonder if there’s some deeper meaning… | 我在想这里面是不是有更深层的含义 |
[12:43] | And Book Lady can’t seem to understand why I must stay here | 出版社那位小姐似乎不能理解我为什么必须留下 |
[12:47] | and forgo The Romance and Erotica Book Expo. | 放弃”浪漫和情色文学书展” |
[12:50] | God, that’s a bad name. | 天呐 这名字真蠢 |
[12:51] | You’d think a room full of writers could do better. | 一般人还以为一屋子作家能取个更好的名字呢 |
[12:53] | Where the hell is our waiter? | 我们的服务生哪儿去了 |
[12:55] | This mediocre Nebbiolo isn’t gonna refill itself. | 这杯平庸的内比奥罗酒可不会自己续杯 |
[12:59] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
[13:01] | Jimmy, I’ve got to say something here. | 吉米 我必须说几句话 |
[13:03] | We’ve lived together for… | 我们一起住了大概… |
[13:05] | what, four years now? | 有四年了吧 |
[13:07] | Hey, no. Look at me. Jimmy. | 不 看着我 吉米 |
[13:09] | Look at me. | 看着我 |
[13:12] | – I care about you. – Jimmy! | -我关心你 -吉米 |
[13:14] | What’s up, ladies? | 还好吗 姑娘们 |
[13:16] | Oh, thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
[13:17] | Vernon and… Paul? | 弗南和 保罗吗 |
[13:20] | Why do you look so… | 你为什么看着这么… |
[13:21] | like that? | 那副鬼样子 |
[13:22] | Generally: Men’s Rights Activism. | 大体上是因为 男权活动 |
[13:25] | Specifically: Signaling. | 具体来说 是发出信号 |
[13:27] | Tells people I have my shit together. | 告诉人们老子已经振作起来了 |
[13:30] | I cuss now. | 我现在说脏话了 |
[13:31] | Sorry, guys, but we were just in the middle of something. | 不好意思 我们正谈事情呢 |
[13:32] | Bec forbade me from ever seeing him again. | 贝卡禁止我再见他 |
[13:34] | You know, on account of loyalty and junk. | 因为什么忠诚之类的废话 |
[13:36] | So, one day we’re both online, | 有一天我们两个都在上网 |
[13:39] | playing League of Legends, and I realized | 在玩《英雄联盟》 我突然意识到 |
[13:41] | I miss the little cuck. | 我想念这个绿帽男了 |
[13:43] | Reformed cuckold. | 是焕然一新的绿帽男 |
[13:45] | Why don’t you two join us? | 不如你们加入我们吧 |
[13:46] | Wait, but we were just starting… | 等等 我们正要开始… |
[13:47] | Hell, yeah, four-way bro-down? | 当然好啦 四人兄弟之夜 |
[13:50] | We look like the poster from Rounders. So tight! | 我们看起来就像《赌王之王》的海报 超挤[亲密] |
[13:54] | Excuse me. | 打扰下 |
[13:55] | – Yes? – I’ll have a vodka soda. | -什么事 -我要一杯伏特加苏打 |
[13:57] | And no, I’m not trying to rape you. | 不 我不是想要强奸你 |
[14:03] | A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. | 一个小男孩和一个恋童癖在树林里走着 |
[14:06] | The little boy says, | 小男孩说 |
[14:07] | “Mister, I’m scared.” | “先生 我好害怕” |
[14:10] | So the pedophile says, | 于是恋童癖说 |
[14:11] | “You’re scared? I have to walk back by myself.” | “你还害怕 等会我可要一个人走回去呢” |
[14:15] | Oh, my God. | 苍天啊 |
[14:16] | I know. | 就是说啊 |
[14:18] | He has a kid! | 他有个孩子 |
[14:19] | No, Gretchen, he killed the kid. | 不 格雷琴 他杀了那个孩子 |
[14:22] | That’s the joke. | 那才是笑点所在 |
[14:23] | No. Boone. He has a daughter! | 不是 是布恩 他有个女儿 |
[14:29] | I was just starting to be okay with the wife thing. | 我才刚开始接受他有老婆这事 |
[14:32] | Now I have to be okay with him having a kid? | 现在我还得接受他有个孩子吗 |
[14:33] | No. No. Gretch, some ding-dong wife is one thing, | 不 不 格雷琴 有个白痴老婆是一回事 |
[14:37] | but a kid, that’s way too much drama. | 但有孩子 那可就太狗血了 |
[14:39] | But… now that he has a kid, | 但是 既然他有孩子 |
[14:43] | isn’t it like he’s even more unavailable? | 不就说明他是更不能碰但更刺激的那种人吗 |
[14:45] | – No! – Okay, but just hear me out. | -才不是 -好吧 但先听我说完 |
[14:47] | No. No! No, no. No. | 不行 不行 不行 |
[14:50] | All right! | 好了 |
[14:51] | Jesus! I won’t! | 天呐 我不睡了 |
[14:54] | But what if I try to end it and he cries, | 但要是我跟他分手 他开始哭怎么办 |
[14:56] | and then I… | 那我就… |
[14:59] | Oh, never mind. No one ever fights for me. | 算了 从来没有人争取过我 |
[15:03] | Hey, how’s the… | 对了 你那个 |
[15:04] | “Making friends with your coworkers” thing going? | “和同事们交朋友”的事进展如何 |
[15:06] | Great. I’m totally being myself. They love it. | 很好 我完全做真实的自己 他们很喜欢 |
[15:10] | You missed my Chris Rock impression. | 你没看到我模仿克里斯·洛克 |
[15:11] | Seen it. Hey. | 看过了 对了 |
[15:13] | Does Carl have anything good in the fridge? | 卡尔在冰箱里放什么好东西了吗 |
[15:15] | Homemade lasagna from his mom. It’s amazing. | 他妈妈做的自制千层面 超好吃 |
[15:18] | But there’s only one piece left, so hurry. | 但只剩下一块了 赶紧的 |
[15:38] | Why are you throwing rocks at my house? | 你为什么朝我家扔石头 |
[15:41] | I can’t see you anymore. | 我不能再见你了 |
[15:42] | ‘Cause I just talked to my friend, | 因为我刚和朋友聊过 |
[15:44] | who once dated a Romanian gymnastics coach, | 她曾和一个罗马尼亚体操教练谈过恋爱 |
[15:47] | and even she thinks this is a bad idea. | 连她都觉得我们这样不好 |
[15:49] | Anyway, I just wish you’d told me you had a kid. | 总之 我只希望你早告诉我你有孩子了 |
[15:51] | I did. We just had a whole conversation about her. | 我说了 我们刚刚才聊过她 |
[15:54] | No, we talked about your wife. | 不 我们刚才聊的是你老婆 |
[15:56] | I’m not married. When did we talk about my wife? | 我没结婚啊 我们几时聊过我老婆 |
[15:58] | First of all, you told me about your wedding | 首先 你在我们见面那天 |
[16:00] | the day that we met. And second of all, | 跟我说了你们的婚礼 其次 |
[16:01] | we just talked all about her, like four hours ago. | 我们刚刚才讨论了她一番 就在4小时前 |
[16:04] | First of all, people get divorced. | 首先 人是会离婚的 |
[16:07] | And second of all, I was talking about my daughter, | 其次 我刚才说的是我女儿 |
[16:09] | Olivia, who’s awesome. | 奥利维亚 她超棒 |
[16:11] | My ex-wife’s name is Whitney, who sucks. | 我前妻叫威特妮 她超渣 |
[16:14] | So this whole time… | 所以一直以来 |
[16:17] | you’re not married? | 你都是未婚身份吗 |
[16:19] | – No. – Then why have we been sneaking around | -是的 -那我们为什么一直偷偷摸摸 |
[16:22] | and boning in hotels and cars and shit? | 在酒店和车里之类的地方打炮 |
[16:24] | Because it was sexy and exciting. | 因为这样很性感很刺激 |
[16:25] | Wait. You thought I was married | 等等 你之前以为我已婚 |
[16:27] | and you were just cool with it? | 却对此毫不在意吗 |
[16:28] | It was sexy and exciting. | 那样很性感很刺激嘛 |
[16:30] | Why’d you want me to be married so badly? | 你为什么那么希望我已婚 |
[16:32] | Because with a married dude, there’s no future in it. | 因为和已婚人士不会有未来 |
[16:35] | Ouch. | 真伤人 |
[16:37] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
[16:38] | This is all just too much right now. | 现在这一切都太复杂了 难以承受 |
[16:41] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
[16:53] | Exactly. | 果然如此 |
[17:05] | Just one cigarette. | 就抽一根 |
[17:14] | Men work harder, | 男人更辛劳 |
[17:16] | men die earlier. | 男人更早死 |
[17:18] | But do we worry about men’s health? | 但大家担心男人的健康吗 |
[17:21] | Did you know that 50% of domestic violence | 你们知不知道 50%的家暴 |
[17:25] | – is woman on man? – Absolutely not true. | -都是女人打男人 -绝对不是 |
[17:28] | I can’t believe I haven’t seen you in three months. | 真不敢相信我有三个月没见过你了 |
[17:30] | Gretchen was on the pod talking mad shit the other day | 格雷琴那天在播客上说疯话 |
[17:34] | that you proposed to her and then bailed, | 说你向她求婚后逃跑了 |
[17:35] | but I know that couldn’t be right. | 但我知道那不可能是真的 |
[17:37] | – No, that’s accurate. – So epic! | -不 事实就是那样 -太赞了 |
[17:39] | So, Jimmy’s actions are vilified, | 所以 吉米的行为遭到鄙视 |
[17:41] | and yet Julia Roberts’s antics in Runaway Bride | 而茱莉亚·罗伯茨在《落跑新娘》里的荒唐行为 |
[17:44] | are delightfuland quirky… Nauseating. | 却被认为可爱和古灵精怪 真令我作呕 |
[17:47] | Hey, Jimmy. | 嘿 吉米 |
[17:47] | You want to go somewhere and get a real drink? | 你想去个能真正喝到爽的地方吗 |
[17:49] | – Continue our conver… – Edgar. | -继续我们的… -埃德加 |
[17:50] | I was being deliberately obtuse before, | 我之前是故意装糊涂 |
[17:52] | – but I know what you’re doing. – You do? | -但我知道你这是在干什么 -是吗 |
[17:55] | You’re trying to deepen our relationship, | 你是想加深我们的感情 |
[17:57] | become more intimate. | 变得更亲密 |
[17:58] | Yes, exactly. | 没错 对极了 |
[18:00] | – I’m so happy you… – Edgar, look at me. | -我很高兴你… -埃德加 看着我 |
[18:03] | From the bottom of my heart, | 我发自内心地说一句 |
[18:04] | this thing you want between us, | 你对我们关系的期盼 |
[18:06] | is never ever going to happen. | 是永远不可能发生的 |
[18:10] | I truly appreciate the effort, but no thank you. | 我真的很感激你做出的努力 不过免了 谢谢 |
[18:21] | Screw you, Jimmy. | 去你妈的 吉米 |
[18:26] | Anyway, | 总之 |
[18:27] | I’m not proud of my cowardly behavior, | 我对我的懦夫行为并不感到骄傲 |
[18:30] | so I’m biding my time whilst Gretchen punishes me. | 在格雷琴惩罚我期间 我会耐心地等着 |
[18:33] | To tell you the truth, | 跟你们说实话吧 |
[18:36] | it’s massively painful to see her with someone else. | 看到她跟别的男人在一起 真的让我很痛苦 |
[18:40] | I gave myself a hernia crying so hard after one of Lindsay’s sessions. | 以前琳赛做出那种事后 我哭得疝气都犯了 |
[18:45] | That’s really rough, Jimmy. | 真的很不容易 吉米 |
[18:47] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
[18:49] | Aw, you guys. | 你们可真好 |
[18:52] | Edgar was right. | 埃德加说得对 |
[18:53] | Male bonding can be enjoyable. | 男人之间增进感情也可以很愉快 |
[18:55] | It’s too bad he left before things got deep. | 真遗憾感情还没增进他就先走了 |
[18:57] | Actually, I’m having a hard time with Becca lately. | 实际上 我最近跟贝卡的感情也出现了危机 |
[18:59] | 琳赛: 如果你在意 告诉你一声 格雷琴打算跟布恩分手了 | |
[19:01] | She’s been, uh… | 她有点… |
[19:02] | Bye. | 再见了 |
[19:03] | Cool. | 好吧 |
[19:05] | Whatever. | 随便了 |
[19:09] | Let’s go run game on some creep- shaming lezzies. | 我们去对拉拉发动”变态羞耻”攻击吧 |
[19:14] | Well, there’s a couple of Clydesdales that need shoeing. | 那边有两个健壮的拉拉需要调教呢 |
[19:30] | Hey, guys. Want to grab – a drink or something? | 两位 想一起去喝杯酒什么的吗 |
[19:33] | Oh, can’t. I’m on a strict early agrarian sleep cycle. | 去不了 我最近在严格遵守早睡的作息 |
[19:37] | Man, I could really use one, but I got band practice. | 我真的需要去喝杯酒 但我得参加乐队排练 |
[19:40] | I’m already late. | 我已经迟到了 |
[19:42] | Hey, you were funny today. | 对了 你今天很搞笑啊 |
[19:44] | Yeah. Jeff told me your pedo joke. | 是啊 杰夫跟我说了你的那个恋童癖笑话 |
[19:47] | Hysterical. | 特别搞笑 |
[19:48] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
[20:07] | ♪ And you know I like your style ♪ | ♪你知道我喜欢你的风格♪ |
[20:09] | ♪ Yeah, you know I like your style and ♪ | ♪没错 你知道我喜欢你的风格♪ |
[20:12] | ♪ All the jewelry ♪ | ♪那些珠宝首饰♪ |
[20:13] | ♪ And the platinum ♪ | ♪再加白金♪ |
[20:14] | ♪ Don’t move me ♪ | ♪别移动我♪ |
[20:15] | ♪ I’m a real one ♪ | ♪我是个真人♪ |
[20:17] | ♪ They all like my style ♪ | ♪他们都喜欢我的风格♪ |
[20:19] | ♪ And, yeah, I know you like my style. ♪ | ♪没错 我知道你喜欢我的风格♪ |
[20:23] | Jimmy sucks. | 吉米真是个烂人 |
[20:25] | I just wish I had someone I could really connect with. | 我只是想要一个能跟我交心的人 |
[20:27] | Right? | 对吧 |
[20:28] | It’s like, no one gets me. | 就好像没人理解我 |
[20:31] | Peanut shell? | 要花生壳吗 |
[20:32] | I went to the circus for lunch. | 我中午去马戏团吃的午餐 |
[20:39] | See? I just want to have stupid fun like this | 瞧吧 我就希望跟我的同事之间也能有 |
[20:42] | – with my dumb coworkers. – I know. | -这种傻兮兮的乐子 -我懂的 |
[20:44] | Why is it so hard to find someone to get close with? | 为什么要找到一个跟自己亲密的人就那么难呢 |
[20:47] | You dropped something. | 你掉东西了 |
[21:34] | Whatcha doin’? | 你在干什么 |
[21:35] | I told myself that if you came out | 我对自己说如果你出来 |
[21:37] | and asked me to stay, I would. | 叫我留下来 我就会留下来 |
[21:39] | It’s just, I’ve never had anyone fight for me and I thought: | 只是 从来没人争取过我 我心想 |
[21:42] | maybe someone would someday. | 或许有一天会出现那样一个人 |
[21:46] | Maybe that’s a thing I’m deserving of. | 或许那是我应该得到的东西 |
[21:48] | But then I thought, “Hey, | 但后来我又想 “嘿 |
[21:50] | maybe you just don’t give people a chance to fight for you.” | 或许是你从不给别人机会争取你” |
[21:54] | So I thought I’d give you a couple cigarettes’ worth of a chance. | 于是我打算在外抽几根烟 给你这短暂的机会 |
[21:59] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
[22:12] | Don’t go, Gretchen. | 别走 格雷琴 |
[22:15] | You fought for me. | 你争取我了 |
[22:32] | You want to stay over? | 你想留下来过夜吗 |
[22:34] | Olivia went with Whitney | 奥利维亚和威特妮一起 |
[22:35] | to Neil’s French horn recital. | 去看尼尔的圆号表演了 |
[22:37] | I hate him so much. | 我超级讨厌他 |
[22:39] | Sure. | 好啊 |
[22:41] | Wait. | 等等 |
[22:43] | Whose vibrator did I find in the bedside table? | 我在床头柜里发现的振动棒是谁的 |
[22:46] | Mine. | 我的 |
[23:21] | Candace. | 坎迪丝 |
[23:23] | Listen, I’ve changed my mind about the expo. | 听我说 关于书展的事 我改变主意了 |
[23:26] | I’ll, um… | 我… |
[23:28] | I- I’ll see you Sunday. | 我们周日见 |