| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:27] | Faster, Jimbo. | 再快点 吉宝 |
| [00:28] | That’s not helping. Talk hot. | 你这么说可没用 说点助兴的 |
| [00:30] | – Oh, my feet are so sweaty. – There you go. | -我的脚出了好多汗啊 -好极了 |
| [00:34] | Oh, I can’t wait to take my shoes off, | 我等不及要把鞋子脱了 |
| [00:36] | stretch my toes apart. | 把脚趾都张开 |
| [00:38] | – Oh, yeah, keep going. – Flex my arches | -好得很 继续 -两只脚底 |
| [00:40] | back and forth, back and forth. | 前后摩擦 前后摩擦 |
| [00:44] | Oh, yeah. | 爽 |
| [00:45] | Give ’em a little soak. | 把脚上都沾满汗水 |
| [00:47] | Oh, boy, they’re so wriggly! | 天呐 脚趾一个劲地蠕动 |
| [01:07] | 44! | 44秒 |
| [01:09] | I think I have the bends. | 我好像突然患了减压症 |
| [01:10] | We broke our record. | 我们破纪录了 |
| [01:11] | Jimmy, we could medal in speed fucking. | 吉米 论打快炮我们一定能拿金牌 |
| [01:14] | Yeah, or we could just wait until after the reception. | 是啊 或者我们可以等到婚宴结束以后 |
| [01:16] | – Like people. – Open bar, bro. | -就像其他人那样 -开放式酒吧 老兄 |
| [01:18] | We’ll be way too schnozzled by then. | 等到了那会儿 我们早就喝醉了 |
| [01:20] | And you have to bang on your wedding night. | 而且新婚夜 一定要打炮 |
| [01:23] | Like how, if you break a mirror, | 就像你要是把镜子打碎了 |
| [01:24] | your grandmother’s ghost sees you masturbate. | 你奶奶的鬼魂就能看见你打飞机之类的习俗 |
| [01:31] | Can I answer any questions about the venue? | 关于这个场地有什么问题需要我解答吗 |
| [01:35] | Did the Goodwin sisters really get murdered here? | 古德温姐妹真是在这儿遇害的吗 |
| [01:38] | Yeah. They were garroted in the main hall. | 没错 在大厅被绞死的 |
| [01:41] | All three of them? | 三个都是吗 |
| [01:46] | Yeah, if you could just give us a moment to discuss– | 那个 能不能让我们商量一下… |
| [01:48] | We’ll take it. Take our money. | 我们要了 收我们的钱吧 |
| [01:49] | Just take all our money! | 把我们的钱都收走吧 |
| [01:51] | Okay, then. | 那好吧 |
| [01:52] | Uh, here’s the schedule of fees. | 这是费用一览表 |
| [01:54] | Just read and sign at the bottom. | 您过目一下 然后在底部签名 |
| [01:58] | I need someone to air out the east annex | 安排人来给东边的侧房通风换气 |
| [02:00] | and buy new towels. | 再买些新毛巾来 |
| [02:02] | Uh, is this a prank? | 这是在开玩笑吗 |
| [02:04] | This can’t be the price for a single event. | 就办一场活动 怎么可能要这么多钱 |
| [02:07] | Just put it on a credit card. | 刷信用卡就是了 |
| [02:09] | Here. | 给 |
| [02:14] | How many credit cards do you have? | 你有多少张信用卡 |
| [02:15] | Like, 70. | 70张吧 |
| [02:16] | Seventy?! | 70张 |
| [02:18] | You’re, like, fifty-fifty with flushing the toilet. | 你连上厕所都有一半的时候忘记冲水 |
| [02:21] | How do you remember to pay off 70 credit cards each month? | 你是怎么记得每月还70张信用卡的 |
| [02:24] | You don’t need to pay off credit cards. | 不需要还信用卡啊 |
| [02:26] | When one stops working, you just get another. | 一张失效了 重新办一张就行啦 |
| [02:29] | Um, how much do you owe, like, in total? | 你总共欠了多少钱 |
| [02:34] | Who cares? It’s not real. | 谁在乎 反正这又不是真的 |
| [02:36] | It’s just some numbers on a computer somewhere. | 只是某台电脑上的数字而已 |
| [02:38] | Why have you never told me of your debt before?! | 你以前怎么不告诉我你负债 |
| [02:41] | Honey, it’s our debt now. | 亲爱的 现在是我们共同的债了 |
| [02:42] | Oh, my God, I’m marrying an actual child. | 天呐 我还真是娶了一个小孩子 |
| [02:46] | Not even a skilled one. | 甚至连一点技能都没有 |
| [02:47] | Just because we have different ideas | 仅仅因为我们的个人理财观不同 |
| [02:48] | about personal finance doesn’t mean you get to patronize me. | 并不意味着你就可以高高在上 像对我施恩了一样 |
| [02:51] | It does if I’m your literal patron. | 如果要我给你还钱 就可以了 |
| [02:53] | Just lock down the venue already. | 赶紧把这场地给定下来 |
| [02:56] | Uh, I have to go hire my replacement. | 我得去面试我的继任者了 |
| [03:00] | I’m gonna make these twats Hunger Games it out, | 我要让这些娘们儿上演一出《饥饿游戏》 |
| [03:01] | see who wants it the most. | 看谁最想得到这份工作 |
| [03:02] | Well, since that will surely lead to your firing, | 既然这必将导致你被开除 |
| [03:06] | I will whore myself out to Hollywood for the both of us. | 要不我就为了我们 把自己卖给好莱坞吧 |
| [03:08] | Why, because you’re the man? Please, Jimmy. | 为什么 因为你是男人吗 拜托 吉米 |
| [03:11] | I can take care of myself. | 我可以照顾好自己 |
| [03:20] | Which way is my job? | 去公司往哪边走 |
| [03:41] | And he’s like, “I thought you were a veterinarian.” | 他说 “我还以为你是个兽医呢” |
| [03:45] | “At least now it makes sense why you’re cupping my balls.” | “至少现在你握住我的蛋蛋就能解释的通了” |
| [03:49] | “While you’re down there, I lost my keys.” | “你在下面弄的时候 我的钥匙掉了” |
| [03:55] | Doug, I can’t say it enough. | 道格 我说多少遍都嫌不够 |
| [03:56] | Thank you for doing this with me. | 谢谢你跟我一起做这个 |
| [03:58] | Please, I’ve been dying to collab for years. | 拜托 多年以来我一直渴望合作 |
| [04:00] | And thank you for diagnosing my cat’s cancer. | 而且谢谢你替我的猫诊断出了癌症 |
| [04:03] | I know a tumor when I feel one. | 我一摸就知道是肿瘤 |
| [04:05] | It was a tumor, and an important lesson for us all. | 确实是肿瘤 对我们所有人而言都是重要的一课 |
| [04:08] | Get your rectum checked regularly. | 记得定期检查你的直肠 |
| [04:15] | I thought he really had his finger up the cat’s ass. | 我以为他真的把指头伸进猫屁眼里去了呢 |
| [04:20] | Let’s take five. | 休息五分钟吧 |
| [04:22] | I’m telling you, this show’s gonna be | 我跟你说 这档节目一定会成为 |
| [04:23] | a real tentpole for MetroPCS. | MetroPCS台的支柱节目的 |
| [04:29] | Soup? | 喝汤吗 |
| [04:31] | I always carry an extra cup. | 我总是额外带个杯子 |
| [04:33] | You know what they say: | 人们常说 |
| [04:35] | you’ll never be hungry if you carry soup with you. | 有汤在手 肚饿不愁 |
| [04:37] | Ah, thanks, but I’m all souped-up. | 谢谢 但我这会儿肚子里都是汤 |
| [04:40] | Edgar, let me ask you something. | 埃德加 我想问你个问题 |
| [04:42] | What do you think about Dutch? | 达奇这人 你怎么看 |
| [04:43] | Every time I work, I try to take someone under my wing, | 每次工作 我都会试着将人护在我的羽翼之下 |
| [04:46] | like a mama bird or a sentient airplane. | 就像鸟妈妈或是私人飞机一样 |
| [04:49] | Oh, well, that’s nice. | 挺好的啊 |
| [04:52] | – What is it? – Ah, nothing. | -这是什么意思 -没什么 |
| [04:53] | It’s just it seems like Dutch is doing well. | 达奇看起来干得挺好 |
| [04:55] | He’s pitching, he’s contributing. | 他不断在提点子 写稿子 |
| [04:57] | I’m the one too intimidated to even open my mouth. | 我连开口说话都不敢 |
| [04:59] | Yikes. I hope it’s not me. | 哎呀 但愿不是因为我 |
| [05:01] | Oh, no, no. | 不不 不是 |
| [05:05] | My ex-partner made me question my abilities as a writer. | 我的前搭档让我对自己的写作能力产生了质疑 |
| [05:09] | Not to mention encouraged me | 更别提还坑我 |
| [05:10] | to get into a lot of financial trouble. | 让我欠了一屁股的债 |
| [05:12] | Well, that sounds just terrible. | 听起来太可怕了 |
| [05:17] | I’m glad you spoke up. | 我很高兴你说出来了 |
| [05:26] | Because I would be proud to take you under my wing instead. | 因为如果能将你纳入羽下 我会很骄傲的 |
| [05:33] | What about Dutch? | 那达奇怎么办 |
| [05:34] | What about that mongoloid ginger fucking Sasquatch?! | 那个蠢笨的红发野人怎么办 |
| [05:37] | Edgar, no. | 埃德加 不 |
| [05:38] | You volunteered. | 你毛遂自荐 |
| [05:41] | That’s never happened before. | 这是前所未有的 |
| [05:44] | I’m gonna focus all of my attention on you from now on. | 从现在起 我会全力关注你 |
| [05:49] | And I insist. | 而且我坚持你该喝一杯 |
| [05:53] | There’s five kinds of beans in there. | 这里面放了五种豆子呢 |
| [05:55] | All right. | 好的 |
| [06:18] | 1.列个待办清单 2.再雇一个贱人 | |
| [06:26] | It was an emergency. I had to poop. | 屎出紧急 我只好在这拉了 |
| [06:29] | A poopergency. | “急屎” |
| [06:30] | Lindsay, toilet’s not for pooping. | 琳赛 厕所不是用来拉屎的 |
| [06:32] | I can’t poop at work because of my new squeeze. | 我不能在公司拉屎 因为我的新情人也在 |
| [06:36] | He’s the big boss. | 他是大老板 |
| [06:37] | I thought your boss was that fashion ho | 我以为你的老板是那个 |
| [06:39] | who wouldn’t let me nap under your desk. | 不让我在你桌子下面睡觉的时装婊 |
| [06:41] | Gretchen, Priscilla is a girl. I’m talking the real boss. | 格雷琴 普莉希拉是女生 我说的是真老板 |
| [06:45] | And he’s visiting from corporate, | 他从集团总部过来考察 |
| [06:46] | so the whole building is kind of his office. | 所以整栋楼都算他的办公室 |
| [06:49] | – Check out our wedding venue. – Holy… | -看看我们的婚礼场地 -老天爷 |
| [06:52] | Nice bones. Decent lighting. | 构造不错 灯光很像样 |
| [06:54] | That room back there looks like a good place | 后面的那个房间看起来是个 |
| [06:56] | to sneak a quick fuck in. When can I see it? | 打快炮的好地方 我什么时候能去看看 |
| [06:59] | At the wedding. | 婚礼当天 |
| [07:01] | Gretch, | 格雷琴 |
| [07:02] | you shouldn’t be making decisions without your maid of honor. | 你不应该在不征询首席伴娘的情况下做决定 |
| [07:05] | You’ll regret it. | 你会后悔的 |
| [07:06] | Are you threatening me? | 你是在威胁我吗 |
| [07:07] | I’m just saying, | 我只是想说 |
| [07:08] | who’s gonna dab your butt sweat? | 谁会给你擦屁股上的汗 |
| [07:11] | Or hold your weave back when you’re vomming up | 或者在你因为人生大事而紧张地 |
| [07:13] | a 12-pack of Sno Balls you panic-eat before big events? | 吃下12块小蛋糕后吐个不停时帮你托着婚纱 |
| [07:15] | – You? – Or slip Xanax in your bitch mom’s Earl Grey | -你吗 -或者在你贱老妈的伯爵红茶里放镇静剂 |
| [07:19] | so she’ll chill the fu… Oklahoma! | 这样她就会冷静个…俄克拉荷马 |
| [07:24] | What is the one thing we don’t talk about? | 什么事是我们绝对不能提起的 |
| [07:26] | Politics. Math. | 政治 数学 |
| [07:27] | That one crow who has it out for you. | 那只老是跟你过不去的乌鸦 |
| [07:29] | What happened between you and Matthew Perry. Coachella. | 你和马修·派瑞的事 科契拉音乐节 |
| [07:32] | – Your bitch mom. – My bitch mom. | -你的贱人老妈 -我的贱人老妈 |
| [07:34] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [07:36] | Anyway, doesn’t matter, she won’t be there. | 反正无所谓了 她也不会在场的 |
| [07:38] | – Why not? – I’m not gonna tell my mom I’m getting married. | -为什么不 -我不会告诉我妈我要结婚 |
| [07:41] | – Gretchen. – If I tell her about the wedding, | -格雷琴 -如果我告诉她婚礼的事 |
| [07:43] | she’ll get in my head and I’ll give myself a butt ulcer, | 她会扰乱我的心神 我的屁股就会生疮 |
| [07:46] | and then when I’m puking up stomach acid | 然后当我在全市混双决赛的 |
| [07:48] | all over Court Seven in the All County Mixed Doubles finals, | 七号场地中狂吐不止时 |
| [07:51] | it’ll be my fault | 我就会被责备 |
| [07:52] | for being such a total disgrace to Grammie Gretchen’s name. | 玷污了格雷琴外婆的名声 |
| [07:55] | Oh, no, I can’t do it. I’m gonna kick it. | 不 我做不到 先不管了 以后再说吧 |
| [07:58] | Kick it? Till when? | 以后再说 推到什么时候 |
| [07:59] | Don’t know. I’ve been rescheduling | 不知道 我的牙医预约 |
| [08:01] | the same dentist appointment for, like, 12 years. | 已经一直推迟了12年了吧 |
| [08:04] | – Idiots. – Gretchen. | -那些蠢货 -格雷琴 |
| [08:06] | This isn’t teeth, this is important. | 这不是牙齿的事 这很重要 |
| [08:08] | As your maid of honor, if you don’t call your mom, | 作为你的首席伴娘 如果你不打给你妈 |
| [08:11] | I’ll be forced to call her. | 我就不得不打给她了 |
| [08:16] | Fine. I will call her. | 好吧 我会打给她 |
| [08:18] | But when she destroys me emotionally, | 但当她让我精神崩溃的时候 |
| [08:20] | your dumb ass has to pick up the pieces. | 你这个蠢货得负责收拾残局 |
| [08:30] | You’re hiring the new Gretch today? | 你今天要招一个新的格雷琴吗 |
| [08:31] | Trying to. These Post-Millennials | 试着招而已 那些分数很高 |
| [08:34] | with their high GPAs and multiple internships, | 又有很多实习经历的95后 |
| [08:37] | as if being smart and working for years for free | 以为自己只要够聪明 再无偿工作几年 |
| [08:39] | means you deserve an actual job. | 就能得到一份真正的工作 |
| [08:53] | Edgar, you’re just in time | 埃德加 你正好赶上 |
| [08:55] | to help me convince “Feature people” | 帮我说服那些”电影人” |
| [08:57] | that I can adapt my own novel. | 让我自己来改编我的小说 |
| [08:58] | I thought you weren’t doing that. | 我以为你不想做这个事 |
| [08:59] | Yeah, well, I’ve come to the realization | 是的 但我后来意识到 |
| [09:01] | that there is some value in experiencing the same story | 将同样的故事以一种次要的和更低级的形式 |
| [09:04] | in a secondary, inferior medium. | 再叙述一遍还是有点价值的 |
| [09:07] | Like when you roast a delicious hen, | 就像你烤了一只美味的母鸡 |
| [09:09] | then boil the bones to make a soup. | 然后把骨头抽出来煮汤喝 |
| [09:11] | Oh, so you’re doing it for the money. | 所以你是为了钱而做 |
| [09:12] | Turns out that blockhead Gretchen is drowning in debt, | 原来那个蠢货格雷琴深陷债务 |
| [09:16] | so I have to get to something called Culver City | 所以我得去一个叫卡尔弗城的地方 |
| [09:19] | to pitch my take on my book, | 去推介我关于小说的改编点子 |
| [09:22] | and I need your help. | 我需要你的帮助 |
| [09:25] | Sure. | 没问题 |
| [09:26] | Pitch away. | 向我推介吧 |
| [09:29] | No, I need you to come and pretend to be my assistant | 不 我需要你去假装我的助理 |
| [09:31] | so I look important. | 这样我看着像大人物 |
| [09:32] | Jimmy, I’m a writer now, remember? | 吉米 我现在是个作家 记得吗 |
| [09:34] | – I’ll pay you 100 bucks. – Okay. | -我会付你100块 -好的 |
| [09:36] | My Yeezys plummeted in value again. | 我的椰子鞋价钱又暴跌了 |
| [09:51] | So… | 话说 |
| [09:54] | why do you want to be a publicist? | 你们为什么想成为公关专家 |
| [09:58] | Actually, you made me want to do this. | 其实是你让我想进入这一行 |
| [10:01] | You mediated the weirdest feud in hip-hop. | 你调和了嘻哈界最难解的宿怨 |
| [10:03] | It’s an honor to meet you. | 很荣幸能亲眼见到你 |
| [10:05] | Aw, that’s so sweet. | 这话真暖心 |
| [10:07] | – It’s an honor to send you home. – Wait, what? | -很荣幸能送你回家 -等等 什么 |
| [10:09] | Our La Croix budget won’t cover you. You’re too thirsty. | 我们的汽水预算不够你花的 你太饥渴了 |
| [10:14] | You got Cutlered! | 你被卡掉了 |
| [10:20] | PR isn’t just about learning celeb secrets | 公关不只是获知名人的秘密 |
| [10:22] | and stealing retinol creams from their swag bags. | 还有从他们收到的礼包里偷抗老面霜 |
| [10:25] | It’s about power. | 重点在于权势 |
| [10:26] | Power over celebs and the shit they don’t need, | 对名人和他们不需要的东西的掌控权 |
| [10:31] | like retinol creams. | 比如抗老面霜 |
| [10:34] | 二 雇佣新贱人 三 打给老妈 | |
| [10:36] | Surviving the next elimination will be much harder | 从下一轮淘汰赛胜出的难度会大得多 |
| [10:39] | with lots of steps, which will take many hours. | 有很多步骤 会花好久时间 |
| [10:42] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [10:43] | Round two’s at a bar. I need to see if you can hang. | 第二轮是在酒吧 我要看看你们能不能喝酒 |
| [10:47] | You coming, sausage wallet? | 你到底来不来 贱逼 |
| [10:49] | – Sausage wallet? – Uh, no. | -贱逼 -不 |
| [10:51] | This is obviously a test. It’s, like, 1:30. | 这明显是个考验 现在才1点半 |
| [10:55] | You’re right. It is a test, | 你说得对 这是个考验 |
| [10:57] | and you failed. Ciao, suck-butt. | 而你没通过 拜拜 马屁精 |
| [11:02] | Don’t hug her. She was Cutlered. | 别抱她 她被卡掉了 |
| [11:04] | Ugh, I don’t like it. | 我不喜欢这说法 |
| [11:06] | Find me a new catchphrase by 3:00. | 3点前给我想个新的口头禅 |
| [11:16] | And then Simon runs from the hooligans, | 然后萨蒙逃出了地痞流氓之手 |
| [11:18] | he’s actually running from | 他真正逃脱的是 |
| [11:19] | his own sexual awakening at his uncle’s knee. | 他那被叔叔唤醒的性冲动 |
| [11:23] | But before he can reckon with this, | 但他尚未来得及面对这事 |
| [11:24] | he finds himself in Primrose Hill, | 就来到了樱草山 |
| [11:27] | its gentle swells reminding him | 那隆起的山峦让他想到 |
| [11:30] | he has someone for whom to survive this night, Kitty. | 他得为一个人活下去 那个人就是凯蒂 |
| [11:36] | Love Kitty. | 我爱凯蒂 |
| [11:37] | She’s an incredible character. Charming. | 她是个很棒的角色 魅力十足 |
| [11:39] | Raw. Love. | 青涩 充满爱意 |
| [11:41] | It’s her movie, really. | 整部电影就是她的大女主戏 |
| [11:42] | Kitty’s? | 凯蒂吗 |
| [11:43] | She’s really the perfect protagonist for today’s climate. | 在当下的社会环境中 她确实是完美的主角人设 |
| [11:46] | Everyone is gonna want to be Kitty. | 大家都想成为凯蒂 |
| [11:48] | – Or bang Kitty. – Consensually. | -或者干凯蒂 -在自愿的情况下 |
| [11:51] | Obviously consensually. | 当然是自愿的情况下 |
| [11:53] | – Jesus, Sheila. – Sure. | -天啊 希拉 -好吧 |
| [11:54] | But to be clear, Simon is the protagonist, so… | 不过澄清一下 萨蒙才是主角 所以… |
| [11:59] | Simon’s running | 萨蒙在逃避 |
| [12:00] | from the hooligans from his past. | 逃避那些地痞流氓 逃避过去 |
| [12:02] | I mean, certainly we can all agree | 我们显然都同意 |
| [12:04] | that Kitty is a reprehensible character, right? | 凯蒂是应该受到谴责的角色 对吧 |
| [12:07] | She’s immature, squalid, untrustworthy. | 她不成熟 卑劣 不可靠 |
| [12:11] | That’s what we love about Kitty. | 那正是我们爱凯蒂的地方 |
| [12:12] | Her messiness is aspirational. | 她的混乱让人觉得她非常渴望成功 |
| [12:14] | What is? Her utter reliance on everyone around her? | 什么啊 她对身边的人的过度依赖 |
| [12:19] | Or the way that she bankrupts her father’s cobbler shop? | 还是她把她爸的修鞋店搞破产的方式 |
| [12:22] | I’m starting to feel like you’re not Team Kitty. | 我开始觉得你并不是凯蒂真爱粉 |
| [12:24] | I hate Kitty! | 我讨厌凯蒂 |
| [12:25] | Oh, what he means is that he hates Kitty | 他真正的意思是 他讨厌凯蒂 |
| [12:28] | because he hates himself. | 是因为他恨自己 |
| [12:30] | Wrong! Love myself. | 错 我爱我自己 |
| [12:32] | – Hate Kitty. – Exactly. | -恨凯蒂 -没错 |
| [12:34] | It’s why no one else could write Kitty. | 所以除他以外没人能写好凯蒂这个角色 |
| [12:36] | And it’s that same kind of hatred that binds Kitty to Simon. | 正是这种恨把凯蒂和萨蒙紧紧绑在了一起 |
| [12:39] | And Jimmy to them both, | 吉米和他们也被绑在了一起 |
| [12:40] | who are both… well, him. | 他们其实都是…他 |
| [12:44] | Jimmy. | 吉米 |
| [12:56] | It’s the garter belt. | 是吊袜腰带 |
| [12:57] | Goddamn it, Rachel, I told you to just stand there | 该死 瑞秋 我说了你只需要站在那里 |
| [13:00] | and be quiet. I know it’s the garter belt. | 保持安静 我知道是吊袜腰带 |
| [13:04] | Point to where you think it is. | 你觉得在哪 指出来 |
| [13:08] | Yeah, that’s where I thought it was. | 没错 和我想的一样 |
| [13:11] | Nice, Rachel. You passed the test. | 很好 瑞秋 你通过了考验 |
| [13:14] | Wait, so you wanted our help? | 等等 所以你想让我们帮忙 |
| [13:16] | Shut up! Half of PR involves | 闭嘴 公关的一半工作 |
| [13:18] | sitting silently next to your client, | 就是安静坐在客户身边 |
| [13:20] | who will be annoyed by the very fact of you, | 而客户很有可能会被你惹恼 |
| [13:22] | like how you breathe too hard, Rachel. | 比如你呼吸太大声了 瑞秋 |
| [13:24] | No one here is named Rachel. | 这里没人叫瑞秋 |
| [13:26] | Bad news. | 坏消息 |
| [13:27] | Turns out my big corporate boss | 原来我的大老板 |
| [13:29] | isn’t actually a boss at all. | 根本就是不是老板 |
| [13:32] | – He really is a janitor. – Linds. | -他就是个门卫而已 -琳子 |
| [13:34] | Did you think the janitor was an undercover boss? | 你觉得门卫是个卧底老板吗 |
| [13:36] | One of these times he has to be an undercover boss. It’s math. | 总有一次会是卧底老板 数学概率问题 |
| [13:39] | Can I set your purse down? It’s heavy. | 我能把你的包放下吗 好重 |
| [13:42] | No. Most of PR is carrying other people’s shit around. | 不能 大多数公关都要帮别人拿东西 |
| [13:44] | Why are these basic hos here? | 这些小白为什么在这 |
| [13:47] | I am being thorough. | 我在彻底地考验他们 |
| [13:48] | Goldman Sachs has a ten-step interview process. | 高盛有个十步面试法 |
| [13:51] | Oh, does Old Man Sachs have all those steps | 那这个老家伙有 |
| [13:53] | to avoid calling his mom, too? | 逃避打给他妈的步骤吗 |
| [13:56] | All right, bitches. | 好了 贱人们 |
| [13:57] | New test. In PR, | 新考验 在公关这一行 |
| [13:59] | you are often asked to pull tail for your client. | 你们经常会被要求为你的客户物色猎物 |
| [14:02] | Find Lindsay someone at this bar she can bang | 在这酒吧给琳赛找个可以跟她上床 |
| [14:04] | and realistically fall in love with. | 并且可以相爱的人 |
| [14:07] | – But we don’t know her. – Go! | -但我们并不了解她 -去 |
| [14:11] | And while they find someone who makes my heart horny, | 趁着她们在给我找一个能让我的心饥渴难耐的人 |
| [14:14] | let’s practice calling your mom. | 我们来练习一下给你妈打电话 |
| [14:16] | What? No! | 什么 不行 |
| [14:20] | Ring, ring, ring. | 铃 铃 铃 |
| [14:24] | – Hi, Mom. – Hello, Gretchen. | -你好 妈 -你好 格雷琴 |
| [14:26] | Your father and I were just complaining about you. | 你爸和我正抱怨你呢 |
| [14:30] | Hi, Mommy. | 你好啊 妈咪 |
| [14:31] | Is there a reason you called? | 你为什么打电话 |
| [14:33] | Jimmy and I are getting married. | 吉米和我要结婚了 |
| [14:36] | Well, I’m obviously aghast, | 很显然我被吓呆了 |
| [14:38] | but someone whose sell-by date has long since passed | 但对于一个超龄剩女 |
| [14:41] | might as well grab the first immigrant | 可能会饥不择食地抓住 |
| [14:43] | who needs a green card. | 一个需要绿卡的移民 |
| [14:44] | Jimmy loves me and he already has a green card. | 吉米爱我 而且他已经有绿卡了 |
| [14:47] | – I think. – Did you schedule your Botox? | -我想是的 -你有预约打注射肉毒杆菌吗 |
| [14:49] | Do it now so your face settles before June. | 现在做的话 你的脸在六月前就能恢复正常 |
| [14:51] | And only eat steamed fish and veggies. | 只能吃清蒸鱼和蔬菜 |
| [14:54] | – Mommy, I don’t want to… – Fine! | -妈咪 我不想… -好吧 |
| [14:55] | Gallumph down the aisle a fat, wrinkled pig for all I care. | 你结婚的时候又肥又皱胖成球都和我无关 |
| [14:59] | – I didn’t say that! – Have you just grown | -我没那么说 -你是已经 |
| [15:01] | so comfortable with failure | 适应失败 |
| [15:03] | that you don’t even notice it anymore? | 适应到你甚至都注意不到你的失败了吗 |
| [15:05] | Like how people who have litter boxes in their house | 就像那些家里有猫砂盒的人 |
| [15:07] | get used to the smell of cat shit? | 习惯了猫屎味一样 |
| [15:09] | What? No. | 什么 不是 |
| [15:10] | At least you’ll be his burden now. | 至少你现在成了他的负担了 |
| [15:12] | – I hate you! I hate you! – You’ve been nothing… | -我恨你 我恨你 -你一无是处 |
| [15:14] | – I hate you! – but dead weight since | -我恨你 -从他们把你从我的子宫里 |
| [15:15] | the day they cut you out of my uterus! | 拿出来那天起 你就是个负担 |
| [15:17] | Lindsay! | 琳赛 |
| [15:19] | Oh, that’s right, run to the bottle. | 真有你的 赶快借酒浇愁吧 |
| [15:21] | I hung up on you. You can’t see what I’m doing. | 我挂了你电话了 你看不到我在干什么 |
| [15:26] | Time! Bring it in, bitches! | 时间到 把人带过来吧 贱人们 |
| [15:31] | You didn’t specify a time limit. | 你刚刚没说有时间限制 |
| [15:32] | Oh, well, you’re Cutlered. | 你被卡掉了 |
| [15:35] | – Yes? No? – Mm. | -可以吗 不行 -不行 |
| [15:37] | All right, Linds. | 好了 琳子 |
| [15:40] | Which guy? | 哪一个 |
| [15:41] | Neither. This is who they pick? | 都不行 这就是他们挑的人 |
| [15:43] | A wizard? Pocket shorts? | 术士 穿口袋短裤的 |
| [15:46] | Hard pass. | 坚决不要 |
| [15:47] | You’re both Cutlered! | 你们都被卡掉了 |
| [15:49] | Oh, it works. You just have to attack it. | 这句挺实用的 需要大声吼 |
| [15:52] | Thanks for no help with that, dummies. | 谢谢你们一点忙都没帮上 蠢货们 |
| [15:55] | Call your mom. Do it. | 给你妈电话 现在就打 |
| [16:06] | Um, just wondering how much longer the interview is? | 就是想问一下这个面试要多久 |
| [16:12] | Oh, the real interview hasn’t even started yet. | 真正的面试还没开始呢 |
| [16:15] | Lightning round. | 限时持续竞争 |
| [16:16] | Let’s Coyote Ugly this bitch! | 像《女狼俱乐部》一样嗨起来 |
| [17:03] | Get her! | 抓住她 |
| [17:11] | Should we just go? | 我们应该就这么走吗 |
| [17:12] | Is that what they taught you at Mount Holyoke? To quit? | 这就是蒙特霍里约克学院教你的 直接退出是吗 |
| [17:15] | You know where I went to school? | 你知道我在哪上的学 |
| [17:16] | I know about all of you– | 我什么都知道… |
| [17:18] | about Thirsty’s internship at Dentsu; | 我知道饥渴妹在电通株式会社实习过 |
| [17:21] | about how No Drinks went to Duke; | 拒酒妹上的是杜克大学 |
| [17:23] | I know all about your special skills | 我对你们的特殊技能 |
| [17:25] | and all the languages you speak, | 和语言技能都一清二楚 |
| [17:27] | and all the hobbies you think make you sound interesting. | 以及你们觉得能让你们听起来有趣的爱好 |
| [17:30] | Bouldering. Indoor cycling. | 攀岩 室内单车 |
| [17:33] | Who stays in Girl Scouts through high school, Debbie? | 谁在高中期间还是女童子军 黛比 |
| [17:37] | Don’t listen to her. She’s a psychopath. | 别听她的 她是个精神病 |
| [17:39] | So all of this was part of the interview? | 所以所有的这一切都是面试的一部分 |
| [17:41] | The singing, the fighting, | 唱歌 打架 |
| [17:43] | the making out with the random guy? | 和不认识的男人亲热 |
| [17:44] | Yes! Wait, that was a guy? | 是的 等等 那是个男人吗 |
| [17:47] | Oh, goddamn it, he had such soft lips. | 天呐 他的嘴唇软得跟女人的一样 |
| [17:52] | Your clients will be terrible people | 你们的客户将是非常糟糕的人 |
| [17:54] | with no impulse control. | 完全没有任何冲动控制 |
| [17:56] | Musicians are babies who will shit all over you | 音乐人就是巨婴 会拉你一身屎 |
| [17:58] | and laugh about it. | 还对此笑个不停 |
| [17:59] | So you’re not actually drunk? | 所以你并没有喝醉吗 |
| [18:01] | I am completely sober. | 我清醒得不得了 |
| [18:05] | Fooled you, Rachel. | 骗到你了吧 瑞秋 |
| [18:09] | Cutlered. | 你被卡掉了 |
| [18:19] | What a sham. They trick me into describing | 真是一帮骗子 他们骗我描绘了一番 |
| [18:23] | how to adapt my work | 要如何改编我的作品 |
| [18:25] | just so they can pass my clear roadmap along to some hack | 就为了将我清晰的构思给某个垃圾 |
| [18:28] | who will strip away all the heady eroticism | 他肯定会抛弃原著里火辣的性爱描写 |
| [18:31] | and write a film about a quirky girl named Kitty. | 写出一部有关古怪女孩凯蒂的电影 |
| [18:34] | You don’t know that you didn’t get the job. | 你又不能确定你没拿下这个活儿 |
| [18:36] | They said “Good stuff,” at the end. | 他们最后说了一句”很精彩” |
| [18:39] | You think someone who’d been rejected as often as you | 按说像你这样经常被拒绝 四处碰壁的人 |
| [18:41] | would recognize when it happens. | 应该能够看出被拒了才对 |
| [18:43] | Oh, crap. I have to go in for a late- night writing sesh. | 糟了 我得去参加一个深夜剧本集体创作会 |
| [18:47] | Did I tell you | 我跟你说了 |
| [18:48] | I’m under Paul F. Tompkins’s wing now? | 保罗·汤普金斯现在将我纳入羽翼下了吗 |
| [18:51] | Well, at least you know where your next paycheck’s coming from. | 至少你的薪资是有保障了 |
| [18:53] | God knows when the first payment | 鬼知道我的下一本书的稿费 |
| [18:55] | for my next book comes in, or the royalties on Width. | 或者《桃色世家》的版权费什么时候才能有 |
| [18:59] | And whilst I wait, I’ll have to default on my mortgage, | 在等待期间 我只能拖欠房贷 |
| [19:02] | sell my resplendent hot rod… | 卖掉我超赞的改装车 |
| [19:03] | I don’t think it’s been street legal | 我觉得自从被格雷琴放火烧过以后 |
| [19:05] | since Gretchen set it on fire. | 那车现在还不能合法上路 |
| [19:06] | And then marry that self- same pyromaniacal redhead | 然后只能在破烂恶心的地方 |
| [19:09] | somewhere cheap and disgusting, | 跟那个喜欢纵火的红发女结婚 |
| [19:11] | like Reno or some botanical garden. | 比如雷诺或某个植物园 |
| [19:15] | I still think you’re gonna get it. | 我还是认为你能拿下这个工作 |
| [19:17] | If they were to give me the job, | 如果他们真要把这个工作交给我 |
| [19:18] | it would probably only be because of | 也可能仅仅是因为 |
| [19:20] | your offensive yet succinct | 你对我那史诗般的故事 |
| [19:23] | oversimplification of my sweeping epic. | 冒犯性的 过分简单的描述 |
| [19:28] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [19:36] | Yes. | 是我 |
| [19:41] | All right. Fine. | 好吧 行 |
| [19:48] | I’m sorry, Jimmy. | 我很遗憾 吉米 |
| [19:49] | – I got it. – What? Seriously? | -我拿下了 -什么 当真吗 |
| [19:52] | – That’s amazing. – Do you know what this means? | -真是太好了 -你知道这意味着什么吗 |
| [19:54] | You don’t have to worry about money. | 你不用再担心钱的事了 |
| [19:56] | I have to write a screenplay. | 我得写剧本了 |
| [20:01] | That’s good. | 那很好啊 |
| [20:03] | Remember your soup metaphor? | 还记得你那个关于汤的比喻吗 |
| [20:05] | Soup? Soup isn’t food. | 汤 汤可不是食物 |
| [20:07] | It’s just bone water. | 只是骨头水而已 |
| [20:09] | Seriously, Edgar. | 说真的 埃德加 |
| [20:11] | All you had to was just sit there and keep your mouth shut. | 你当时只需要坐在那里 闭上嘴就行了 |
| [20:25] | Oh, shit. | 糟了 |
| [20:27] | Oh, did we bang? | 我们干过了吗 |
| [20:30] | How was it? Did I do anything weird? | 爽吗 我有没有干什么奇怪的事 |
| [20:35] | What happened to Rachel? | 瑞秋怎么了 |
| [20:36] | She had to feed her cat. | 她得回家喂猫 |
| [20:45] | Did you do all this? | 这些都是你做的吗 |
| [20:46] | I like to stay busy. | 我喜欢忙碌的状态 |
| [20:49] | I think I figured out what the last test is. | 我觉得我想出最后一项考验是什么了 |
| [20:52] | Are you really afraid of what your mom | 你是真的害怕你妈 |
| [20:54] | will think about you getting married, | 对你结婚这件事的想法 |
| [20:55] | or are you actually afraid of what you think? | 还是害怕你自己对这事的想法 |
| [20:58] | You don’t know my mother. | 你不了解我妈这个人 |
| [20:59] | She withheld food, human touch | 她不给我食物 拒绝人体接触 |
| [21:01] | and Breyer model horses to control me. | 利用马的模型来控制我 |
| [21:03] | After seeing what you put yourself through today, | 看到你今天让自己经历了这样的磨难 |
| [21:05] | I think you can handle it. | 我觉得你能承受得住 |
| [21:06] | Whatever she says. | 不管她会说些什么 |
| [21:15] | Hi. Sorry it’s so late. I… | 嗨 抱歉这么晚打给你 我… |
| [21:21] | Mommy, I have some big news. | 妈 我有重大消息要告诉你 |
| [21:27] | What if we switch it up | 如果变换一下 |
| [21:28] | and make her the doctor? | 让她来当医生呢 |
| [21:30] | Yes. I love male nurses. | 很好 我喜欢男护士 |
| [21:33] | But I hate how they never ask doctors for directions. | 但我讨厌人们从来不找医生问路 |
| [21:38] | Yeah, they’re real Florence Nightinmales. | 是啊 他们是真正的弗洛伦斯·南丁噩梦 |
| [21:41] | 被称为天使的护士 弗洛伦斯·南丁格尔 | |
| [21:42] | There’s our title. | 我们的剧名出来了 |
| [21:44] | Where has this Edgar been hiding? | 这个埃德加怎么以前没有存在感 |
| [21:46] | – Right here. – You got to sing out more, man. | -我一直在这 -你以后要多多发言 |
| [21:48] | I don’t think we’re gonna be able to top that. | 我觉得恐怕没有比这更出色的了 |
| [21:51] | Hey, Edgar, you want to take the rest of the sandwiches home? | 埃德加 剩余的三明治你想拿回家吗 |
| [21:53] | Oh, man, my roommates don’t like when I take up too much of the fridge. | 我室友不喜欢我占用冰箱里太多的空间 |
| [21:57] | Oh, man. I… I really hate to see food get wasted. | 天呐 我真不愿意见到食物被浪费 |
| [22:02] | Edgar, I tell you what. | 埃德加 我跟你说 |
| [22:04] | I’ll pay you a thousand dollars | 只要你能马上把这些三明治吃完 |
| [22:08] | to eat the rest of these sandwiches right now. | 我可以给你一千美元 |
| [22:12] | What do you say? | 你觉得怎么样 |
| [22:23] | Hell yeah, Edgar. You got this. | 太棒了 埃德加 你可以的 |
| [22:25] | I love watching people eat food. | 我好喜欢围观别人吃东西 |
| [22:28] | Now the minute you feel sick or even a little bit uncomfortable, | 如果你觉得想吐 或是有那么一点不舒服 |
| [22:30] | you can stop, we won’t think any less of you. | 可以随时停下 我们不会鄙视你的 |
| [22:37] | Sandwich number one. | 第一个三明治 |
| [22:41] | So… did you find a new you? | 话说 你找到代替你的人了吗 |
| [22:45] | Nah. None of them really stood out. | 没有 一个表现突出的都没有 |
| [22:48] | But Lindsay pulled a Lindsay | 但琳赛表现很不错 |
| [22:50] | and boned a janitor, so I’m gonna hire her. | 还跟一个门卫上床了 所以我打算雇她 |
| [22:52] | She’s feeling pretty low. What’d you do today? | 她现在心情很低落 你今天做了什么 |
| [22:55] | Eh, nothing. Just became a professional screenwriter. | 没什么 就是成了一个专业的编剧而已 |
| [23:00] | And locked down our wedding venue. | 并且确定了婚礼举办场所 |
| [23:04] | You whored yourself out for us. | 你为了我们把自己给贱卖了 |
| [23:09] | I’m so lucky. | 我太幸运了 |
| [23:11] | I can’t wait to marry you. | 我都等不及要嫁给你了 |
| [23:13] | I love you so much. | 我太爱你了 |
| [23:15] | You’ve been mixing off- brand cough syrups again. | 你一定是把杂牌的咳嗽糖浆又混在一起喝了 |
| [23:17] | No, Jimmy. I called my mom. | 没有 吉米 我打电话给我妈了 |
| [23:21] | – Oh, boy. – No, it was good. | -天呐 -不 很顺利 |
| [23:23] | It was, like, really good. | 非常非常顺利 |
| [23:26] | We’ve never had a conversation like that. | 我们从来没有过那样的对话 |
| [23:28] | We laughed, we bonded, | 我们一起欢笑 增进了感情 |
| [23:30] | she told me about her menopausal dryness. | 她跟我说了她更年期阴道干涩的事 |
| [23:33] | I even told her about the wedding. | 我甚至跟她说了婚礼的事 |
| [23:35] | She didn’t say anything shitty. | 她没有说任何恶心人的话 |
| [23:37] | She was just happy for me. | 她就是单纯为我感到开心 |
| [23:39] | Seriously? That’s it? | 真的吗 就这样 |
| [23:40] | She didn’t trick you into having the wedding in Missouri or anything? | 她没诓骗你去密苏里州举办婚礼什么的吗 |
| [23:44] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [23:47] | Well, I’m proud of you for calling your parents. | 你竟然会打电话给你父母 我为你感到骄傲 |
| [23:50] | That was shockingly mature of you. | 你一下子变得好成熟 令人意外 |
| [23:53] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [23:55] | They think I’m marrying Boone. | 他们以为我要嫁的人是布恩 |
| [23:57] | – And there it is. – Good night. | -就知道会有坑 -晚安 |