| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:21] | What is it about morning boners? | 晨勃是怎么回事 让你这么生猛 |
| [00:23] | Yeah, it’s not the boner. | 其实跟晨勃没关系 |
| [00:25] | It’s that my haunches are fresh and rested. | 主要是我的臀部经过休息恢复过来了 |
| [00:29] | Like when you take a thoroughbred to the track | 就好比纯种马赛跑 |
| [00:31] | first thing in the morning, fastest time of the day. | 早晨第一跑 是一天中最快的 |
| [00:39] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [00:43] | Oh, no. | 不要 |
| [00:45] | Oh, yes. Jimmy, I think it’s time. | 要的 吉米 我觉得是时候了 |
| [00:47] | No. No, not today. | 不不 今天不要 |
| [00:49] | – You promised me you would do this. – I don’t feel good. | -你答应过我试一下的 -我不太舒服 |
| [00:51] | Is that the message you want to give your bride, Jimmy? | 这就是你要向你的新娘传达的信息吗 吉米 |
| [00:54] | That you’re not willing to do something | 你不愿意试着做这件 |
| [00:55] | that is extremely, extremely important to me? | 对我来说特别特别重要的事吗 |
| [01:01] | Fine. I’ll taste my come. | 好吧 我来尝一下我的精液 |
| [01:02] | Yay! | 好耶 |
| [01:16] | What do you think, Jimmy? Do you hate it? Is it gross? | 怎么样吉米 你讨厌吗 觉得恶心吗 |
| [01:18] | Do you think it’s gross, Jimmy? What do you think, Jimmy? | 你觉得恶心吗 你到底怎么看 吉米 |
| [01:22] | It’s like… salty fruit glue. | 有点像…咸果冻 |
| [01:26] | Exactly. | 正是这样 |
| [01:29] | My Lyft is here. I’m gonna hop in the shower. | 我的网约车到了 我得去洗澡了 |
| [01:32] | What? They’re not gonna just wait for you. | 什么 他们可不会等你的 |
| [01:35] | You tell them you’re in a wheelchair. | 跟他们说你是坐轮椅的 |
| [01:37] | Then they legally have to wait as long as you want. | 根据法律 多久他们都得等 |
| [01:38] | Wait, have you just been Lyfting everywhere | 慢着 自从你的车坏了以后 |
| [01:40] | since you wrecked your car? | 你去哪儿都靠打网约车吗 |
| [01:42] | I can’t drive, Jimmy. | 我开不了车了 吉米 |
| [01:44] | Every time I close my eyes, | 每当闭上眼睛 |
| [01:46] | I see that cement mixer bearing down on me. | 我就看到水泥搅拌机朝我压来 |
| [01:48] | You faked it, you psychopath. | 这是你自己编的 神经病 |
| [01:52] | Whoa. I’m starting to believe my own lies. | 对哦 我都开始相信自己说的谎了 |
| [02:05] | Oh, my God! You love it! | 天呐 你喜欢吃那个 |
| [02:07] | No! No, I do not. | 不不 我不喜欢 |
| [02:09] | What? You’re lapping it up like it’s soft serve. | 骗谁啊 你的样子就像在舔冰淇淋一样 |
| [02:12] | I-I… | 我 我… |
| [02:13] | I was making sure that it just tasted as weird | 我只是想确认一下 它的味道 |
| [02:16] | as I thought it did. | 就跟我想象的一样奇怪 |
| [02:17] | You just Oliver’d your own come. | 你刚刚吃自己精液的样子就跟奥利弗一样 |
| [02:19] | “Please, sir, may I have some more?” | “求您了先生 能再给我一点儿吗” |
| [02:21] | You said it was important to you! | 是你说这对你很重要的 |
| [02:23] | When I was watching, not on your own, | 那是有我围观的时候 不是你暗自吃精 |
| [02:24] | like some come-hungry jizz-goblin. | 偷偷摸摸像个饥渴的精液小妖精一样 |
| [03:15] | 支票 二十世纪福斯影业 70万美元 | |
| [03:20] | Brilliant, | 好极了 |
| [03:22] | absolutely brilliant. | 真的是 好极了 |
| [03:31] | Gretchen, something amazing’s happened! | 格雷琴 喜从天降 |
| [03:36] | What? You come back for thirds? | 怎么 你准备好来第三炮了吗 |
| [03:40] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [03:43] | Library card. I just got a library card. | 图书馆的借阅证 我的借阅证到了 |
| [03:45] | Not exactly amazing news, but you’re on a come high. | 这可算不上是惊天喜事 但你这是高潮嗨了 |
| [03:48] | I’ve been there. | 我以前也遇到过 |
| [03:53] | What? | 怎么啦 |
| [03:55] | How’s someone in a wheelchair supposed to walk to their ride? | 坐轮椅的人怎么走到车上去呢 |
| [03:58] | Come on, Jimmy, think. | 拜托吉米 动动脑子 |
| [04:39] | 《我的奋斗》 卡尔·奥韦·克瑙斯加德 | |
| [04:45] | 让你的钱生钱 只有超级富人知道的漏税技巧 加密货币与你 发财是不是让你压力山大 告别智商不够 开曼岛是什么 如何把钱转过去 存款 退休金 股票 债券101 一夜暴富 硅谷CEO与他的故事 新贵积累财富的五大技巧 拒绝游艇 | |
| [04:53] | WiFi无人机 高清摄像 | |
| [05:42] | 1.列个待办清单 2.再雇一个贱人 3.给妈妈打电话 4.友情提醒 请勿性骚扰 5.重新考虑《蜜蛋2》 6.告诉会计部的特蕾莎 她嚼东西太大声了 7.3点开会 8.研究如何开通银行账户 9.琳赛 如果你看到这里 我就给你1千美元 | |
| [05:47] | Lindsay, you have your own office. | 琳赛 你有自己的办公室 |
| [05:49] | I do? Awesome. Does it have a sex toilet? | 是吗 太好了 那里有性爱马桶吗 |
| [05:53] | Here’s your breakfast, Ms. Cottumaccio. | 这是您的早餐 卡特玛乔小姐 |
| [05:55] | Apparently, I have an office, | 很明显 我已经有自己的办公室了 |
| [05:57] | so I’ll need some supplies. | 所以我需要补充一些东西 |
| [05:58] | Uh, kitty posters with inspiring quotes, | 有励志名言的小猫海报 |
| [06:01] | finger paints, a sex toilet, popcorn machine, etcets. | 手指画 性爱马桶 爆米花机 凡此种种 |
| [06:04] | Who are you? | 你是谁 |
| [06:05] | He’s my new assistant. | 他是我的新助理 |
| [06:06] | I’m actually your assistant. | 其实我是您的助理 |
| [06:08] | I have an assistant? | 我有助理吗 |
| [06:09] | Dismissed. | 赶紧出去 |
| [06:11] | So, what do Sam and the boys think about me | 山姆他们几个怎么看待我成了他们的 |
| [06:13] | being their whatchamacallit, paleontologist? | 叫什么来着 古生物学家 |
| [06:15] | Publicist. | 是公关专家 |
| [06:17] | I haven’t told them yet. Sam takes rejection really hard. | 我还没告诉他们 山姆的抵触情绪很强 |
| [06:20] | Mm, we should do it someplace fun to soften the blow, | 我们应该找个有趣的地方缓和一下 |
| [06:23] | like the beach or a rub ‘n tug. | 比如海滩 或者按摩院 |
| [06:25] | Good idea, but I have to do it alone. | 好主意 但我得一个人去 |
| [06:29] | Meanwhile, you need to focus | 同时你需要集中注意力 |
| [06:30] | and learn how to actually do the job. | 学习如何胜任这份工作 |
| [06:32] | Fine, but for the record, | 可以 不过我们把话说明白了 |
| [06:34] | I really only took this gig to be closer to you, | 我真的是为了更加靠近你才接受这份工作的 |
| [06:36] | since you’re ditching me to become a stupid wife. | 尽管你抛弃了我 要去做愚蠢的人妻 |
| [06:39] | Literally nothing will change | 真的什么都不会改变的 |
| [06:41] | except that my debt will be on the J-dog | 除了我的债会由吉宝来承担 |
| [06:43] | and the beejays will slow to a trickle | 口交也会急剧下降 |
| [06:45] | because… come on. | 因为…别生气啦 |
| [06:53] | I’m glad you called me. | 我很高兴你给我打了电话 |
| [06:55] | You’re not the only person to make a foolish purchase | 你不是唯一一个在第一次收到大额支票后 |
| [06:57] | upon receiving their first big check. | 瞎买一气的人 |
| [07:00] | Why, when I received my first stout remittance, | 当我收到我的第一笔巨额款项后 |
| [07:03] | I went absolutely cuckoo | 我欣喜若狂 |
| [07:06] | and purchased a 20,000-piece puzzle of the Eye of the Sahara. | 然后买了「撒哈拉之眼」的两万片拼图 |
| [07:13] | That was a decadent three weeks. | 那可真是堕落颓废的三周啊 |
| [07:16] | Anyway, the puzzle we’re focused on today | 不说了 我们今天关注的难题[拼图] |
| [07:19] | is called, “Jimmy’s financial future”. | 叫做”吉米的财务未来” |
| [07:22] | Yeah, I was really just thinking about, | 那个 我在考虑 |
| [07:24] | like, opening a CD or something. | 开一个定期存款账户什么的 |
| [07:26] | Jimmy. You’re asking for flank steak | 吉米 你想要的只是牛腩排 |
| [07:28] | when I’m about to offer you dry-aged Wagyu. | 而我要给你的是干式熟成顶级和牛 |
| [07:31] | $700,000 is a robust start. | 70万美元是一个强劲的起点 |
| [07:34] | Assuming a continued upward career trajectory, | 假如沿着持续上升的职业轨迹 |
| [07:38] | you’ll be part of the one percent in no time. | 你很快就将成为最顶层的1%人群 |
| [07:42] | Can you imagine? Me? | 你能想象吗 我 |
| [07:45] | A one-percenter. | 顶层1%人群 |
| [07:47] | Cabins in Aspen, | 阿斯彭的度假木屋 |
| [07:49] | golf with corrupt politicians, an embarrassing car collection | 和腐败的政客打高尔夫 保存在范纳斯飞机库的 |
| [07:53] | kept in some Van Nuysian airport hangar. | 让人不好意思的汽车收藏 |
| [07:55] | Now you’re getting it. | 你总算开窍了 |
| [07:57] | I mean, I’ve always felt elite. | 我一直觉得自己是精英人士 |
| [07:59] | You know, when Gretchen said that she… | 当格雷琴说她… |
| [08:01] | Oh, dear. Does Gretchen know about the money? | 天啊 格雷琴知道这笔钱吗 |
| [08:03] | Not-not yet, but… | 还不知道 但是… |
| [08:04] | – Quick, give me a dollar. – What? Why? | -快给我一美元 -什么 为什么 |
| [08:06] | Just do it! | 快点照做 |
| [08:09] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [08:11] | Phew. We’ve now established confidentiality. | 松口气了 现在我们要遵守客户保密协议了 |
| [08:15] | Do you know about Gretchen’s debt? | 你知道格雷琴负债的事吗 |
| [08:17] | Yeah, but how do you? | 知道 但你怎么知道 |
| [08:19] | She’s tried to open countless credit cards in my name. | 她曾想用我的名字开无数的信用卡 |
| [08:23] | Gretchen’s what we call an S.D., a Super Dependent, | 格雷琴这种人被我们称为超级依赖者 |
| [08:26] | like Rob Kardashian, or a dog whose back legs don’t work. | 就像罗伯·卡戴珊 或者后腿走不了的狗狗 |
| [08:29] | Are you saying that I should never tell Gretchen about the money? | 你是说我应该永远不告诉格雷琴钱的事 |
| [08:32] | As someone who believes in complete honesty between romantic partners, | 作为相信情侣间应当毫无保留的人 |
| [08:37] | I would say hiding something like this is not recommended. | 我会说 不建议隐瞒这种事 |
| [08:40] | As your financial advisor, | 作为你的理财顾问 |
| [08:42] | I would say, “What money?” | 我会说 “哪有什么钱” |
| [08:48] | Well, back to the office. | 我回办公室去了 |
| [08:52] | – Edgar. – Jimmy. | -埃德加 -吉米 |
| [08:54] | It’s my abuelita. | 我奶奶 |
| [08:56] | She’s sick, Jimmy. | 她病了 吉米 |
| [08:58] | Why are you telling me? | 你为什么跟我说 |
| [08:59] | I can’t help her. I don’t have any money. | 我帮不了她 我又没有钱 |
| [09:01] | Oh. Thank God you believed me. | 谢天谢地你信了我 |
| [09:04] | I just need an excuse to get out of work because yesterday | 我只是需要找个借口翘班 因为昨天 |
| [09:06] | Paul F. Tompkins made me drink two liters of split pea soup. | 保罗·汤普金斯逼我喝了两升干豌豆汤 |
| [09:09] | But also, geez, loud and clear. | 不过 天啊 我听得一清二楚 |
| [09:16] | Edgar. I was just picking up breakfast. | 埃德加 我刚刚买完早餐 |
| [09:18] | I hope you like cronuts. | 希望你喜欢可颂甜甜圈 |
| [09:20] | Oh. That’s right, you don’t. | 对了 你不喜欢 |
| [09:22] | Maybe you’ll have a few anyway? | 或许你还是想吃一点 |
| [09:23] | Oh, that’s actually what I was calling about. | 我打电话正是为了此事 |
| [09:25] | It’s… my… grandma. | 我奶奶 |
| [09:30] | She’s really sick. | 她病得很重 |
| [09:32] | We-we don’t know how much longer she has. | 我们不知道她还有多少时日 |
| [09:34] | So, I can’t come in to work. | 所以我不能去上班了 |
| [09:37] | Oh, my gosh, I had no idea. | 老天啊 我完全不知道 |
| [09:40] | Take as much time as you need. | 你需要休假多久都行 |
| [09:42] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [09:43] | Please. And let us know if there’s anything we can do. | 如果有什么我们能做的 请告诉我们 |
| [09:45] | I will. | 我会的 |
| [09:48] | Well, he seems like a monster. | 他听起来真像个恶魔 |
| [09:51] | Gosh, maybe I’ve just been too sensitive. | 天啊 也许是我太敏感了 |
| [09:53] | I mean, a good fireworks display does make you cry. | 精彩的烟花秀都能让你感动流泪 |
| [09:56] | So, yeah, probably. | 看来可能是这样 |
| [10:02] | Ugh, what’s wrong with you? | 你怎么了 |
| [10:04] | – Have you seen Vernon? – I try not to. | -你见过弗南吗 -我尽量避免跟他相见 |
| [10:07] | Oh, Jimmy. I’m so worried about him. | 吉米 我好担心他 |
| [10:11] | With the embarrassment of his medical license being suspended | 经历了医疗执照被吊销 |
| [10:14] | and losing the house, | 和失去房子的窘迫 |
| [10:15] | not to mention Tallulah’s eye really going downhill, | 更别提塔卢拉的眼睛每况愈下 |
| [10:17] | he’s a wreck. | 他深受重创 |
| [10:18] | He left this morning without his phone or his wallet, Jimmy. | 他今早没带手机和钱包就走了 吉米 |
| [10:22] | Becca, trust me. | 贝卡 相信我 |
| [10:23] | Vernon is far, far too stupid to be suicidal. | 弗南蠢得无可救药 他想不到自杀这条路 |
| [10:27] | Really? I hope you’re right. | 真的吗 希望你是对的 |
| [10:30] | Could I take a shower? Lindsay’s water got shut off. | 我能在这冲个澡吗 琳赛家停水了 |
| [10:35] | Two minutes, but purely for hygiene. | 给你两分钟 不过仅仅是清洁 |
| [10:37] | No sighing in relief and no steam. | 不准泡到舒服地叹气 不准蒸浴 |
| [10:47] | Debase me, Jimmy, like old times. | 狠狠地羞辱我吧 吉米 像过去一样 |
| [10:51] | I’m at rock bottom. | 我已经跌入谷底 |
| [10:52] | Use my body so that I might feel something. | 占有我的身体 好让我还能有感觉 |
| [10:56] | Uh, while I do find Alcoholic Housewife Cosette | 虽然我觉得你这副酒鬼主妇孤女珂赛特的 |
| [10:59] | to be a good look for you, | 模样挺美的 |
| [11:01] | I’m gonna have to issue a hard pass. | 我还是要拒绝你 |
| [11:08] | Please, just hold me, then. | 求你了 抱抱我就好 |
| [11:12] | Ah. Jesus, woman. | 老天 女人啊 |
| [11:15] | Let’s not snot up the linens now. | 别把鼻涕蹭到被子上 |
| [11:20] | Gotcha. | 俘获 |
| [11:23] | Paul told me you’re loaded. | 保罗告诉我你发大财了 |
| [11:24] | And if you don’t slice me off a hunk of that cheddar, | 如果你不让我分一杯羹的话 |
| [11:27] | then this photo goes straight to your precious little fiancée. | 这张照片就会摆到你那宝贝未婚妻的面前 |
| [11:30] | Checkmate, asswipe. | 将你一军 混蛋 |
| [11:32] | That’s your big play? | 这就是你的大招吗 |
| [11:34] | Please, she’d think it’s hilarious. | 拜托 她会觉得很好笑 |
| [11:36] | I’ll do it! I swear I will! | 我一定会发的 我发誓 |
| [11:37] | By contrast, a good play would be, | 与此相对 更好的手段应该是 |
| [11:40] | just off the top of my head, | 我就拍脑门随便一想 |
| [11:42] | my declaration that if you don’t pay me $500… | 我宣布 如果你不给我五百块… |
| [11:47] | I’ll send this picture | 我就把这张照片 |
| [11:48] | to that horrid mother of yours so she’ll know | 发给你那位烦人的妈妈 这样她就知道 |
| [11:50] | that her own daughter lied to her | 她的亲生女儿骗了她 |
| [11:52] | about having a vaginal birth. | 你不是顺产而是剖腹产 |
| [12:03] | I will Venmo you. | 我转账给你 |
| [12:14] | Look at me! | 快看我 |
| [12:15] | I’m flying, bitches. | 我飞起来了 贱婊们 |
| [12:16] | Stop flapping your arms. You’re gonna hurt someone. | 别乱扇你的胳膊了 会打到人的 |
| [12:18] | I’m Honey Nutz! | 我是蜜蛋 |
| [12:30] | Who’s ready for the piñata? | 准备好玩彩蛋陶罐了吗 |
| [12:32] | – Oh, me first! – Oh, yeah. Wait, I’ll take that. | -我先来 -好 等等 我先来 |
| [12:34] | – Give me that stick. – Isn’t this great? | -把棍子给我 -是不是很棒 |
| [12:36] | – Aren’t you guys having fun? – Hmm. | -你们是不是很开心 -就还行吧 |
| [12:39] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [12:40] | I know you told me not to say anything, | 我知道你们让我什么都别说 |
| [12:41] | but we need to talk about Honey Nutz. | 但我们得聊聊蜜蛋的事 |
| [12:44] | What is there to talk about? | 有什么需要聊的 |
| [12:45] | There’s a clown. | 那里有小丑 |
| [12:50] | Wh-Where is Zachary? | 扎克瑞在哪里 |
| [12:52] | I don’t know anyone named Zachary. | 我不认识叫扎克瑞的人 |
| [12:54] | He says hi. | 他向你问好 |
| [12:56] | I can’t believe you rebooted Honey Nutz. | 我真不敢相信你们把蜜蛋更新换代了 |
| [13:05] | Bitch, do you know how much time | 贱人 你知道我花了多长时间 |
| [13:07] | I spent building that character? | 才塑造出那个角色吗 |
| [13:09] | You think I’d give that up | 你觉得我会因为 |
| [13:09] | just ’cause Honey Nutz One aged out? | 蜜蛋1号超龄就放弃吗 |
| [13:11] | This is weird, right? | 这有点奇怪 对吧 |
| [13:14] | So, uh, | 话说 |
| [13:14] | anyways, did I tell you guys about my promotion? | 我有没有跟你们说我升职了 |
| [13:20] | Wh-What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [13:21] | This is precisely how my parents | 我父母当初宣布他们要离婚时 |
| [13:22] | told me they were getting divorced. | 就是这个套路 |
| [13:24] | They thought it wouldn’t hurt as much over mini golf. | 他们觉得玩迷你高尔夫的时候告诉我 我就不会太痛苦 |
| [13:26] | Now every time I see a windmill, I throw up. | 所以我现在每次看到风车 都会吐 |
| [13:29] | – That’s why I can never go to the Netherlands. – Come on. | -所以我永远不能去荷兰 -别闹了 |
| [13:32] | Gretchen wouldn’t throw us a carnival to give us bad news. | 格雷琴不会为了宣布坏消息而请我们狂欢 |
| [13:35] | She’s not a monster. | 她又不是禽兽 |
| [13:36] | Guys, this is good news. | 听我说 这是好消息 |
| [13:39] | – You’re dumping us. – I’m not dumping you. | -你要甩了我们 -我不是要甩了你们 |
| [13:40] | So we can still call you whenever? | 那我们还是可以随时打给你吗 |
| [13:42] | Absolutely. | 当然 |
| [13:44] | You just call your new point person, | 只要打给新对接人就好 |
| [13:45] | and they’ll loop me in if it’s an emergency. | 如果有什么急事 对接人会告诉我 |
| [13:47] | And who is our new point person? | 那我们的新对接人是谁 |
| [13:50] | Lindsay. Isn’t that amazing? | 琳赛 是不是超级棒 |
| [13:51] | I knew it! You’re abandoning us. | 我就知道 你要抛弃我们了 |
| [13:54] | Bitch! I hate you! | 贱人 我恨你 |
| [13:58] | Your work has long been subpar, but this still stings. | 你的工作能力一直很差 但这依然让我们很难受 |
| [14:20] | All right, Edgar. | 埃德加 |
| [14:21] | I need to ask your advice on something. | 我需要你的建议 |
| [14:23] | Hold it. | 等下 |
| [14:25] | Hold that thought. | 等一下 |
| [14:33] | Hello, Mr. Tompkins. | 喂 汤普金斯先生 |
| [14:34] | Edgar, there’s the face I wanted to time with. | 埃德加 终于又看到你了 |
| [14:37] | Any update on Abuelita? | 你奶奶那边有新进展吗 |
| [14:38] | Sadly, yes. | 很遗憾 有 |
| [14:40] | She’s taken a turn for the worse. | 她的病情恶化了 |
| [14:43] | That’s curious. | 真奇怪 |
| [14:44] | Because she looks just fine to me. | 我看着她挺好的啊 |
| [14:46] | Um, I’m sorry, can… can you repeat that? | 抱歉 你可以再说一次吗 |
| [14:48] | I said your abuelita looks just fine to me. See? | 我说我看着你奶奶精神挺好的 你看 |
| [14:53] | Hola, mi tesoro. | 你好啊 宝贝 |
| [14:54] | Your friend Paul is so nice. | 你的朋友保罗人很好 |
| [14:57] | It’s a miracle, right? | 简直是奇迹对不对 |
| [14:58] | One minute she’s taking a turn for the worse, | 前一分钟她的病情恶化了 |
| [15:00] | the next she’s headed to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles | 下一分钟她就要跟一位彬彬有礼的谐星 |
| [15:02] | with the nicest guy in comedy. | 一起去吃罗斯科家的鸡肉和华夫饼 |
| [15:04] | We’re getting waffles with chicken, Edgar. | 我们要吃鸡肉华夫饼 埃德加 |
| [15:08] | So, since she’s had this miraculous recovery, | 既然她已经奇迹般地恢复了 |
| [15:09] | I guess you can make it into the office after all. | 我猜你还是可以来上班的 |
| [15:12] | Don’t eat before. We’ll order in. | 记得别吃饭 我们点餐就好 |
| [15:15] | So, I got this huge check. | 我拿到一笔巨额支票 |
| [15:18] | And you know the saying: | 你也知道俗话说得好 |
| [15:19] | “Mo’ money, mo’ issues with which to contend.” | “钱财越多 烦恼越多” |
| [15:22] | If I tell Gretchen, | 如果我告诉格雷琴 |
| [15:23] | then it will naturally change our power dynamics. | 这肯定会改变我们之间的相处模式 |
| [15:27] | I will be perceived as an authority figure, | 我会被视作权威人物 |
| [15:29] | and then Gretchen will resist | 格雷琴肯定会反抗 |
| [15:31] | because she hates authority. | 因为她讨厌权威 |
| [15:33] | I mean, I don’t want to be | 毕竟我可不想成为 |
| [15:34] | The Man in our relationship. | 我们关系中的”大男人” |
| [15:37] | Oh, that last part came out weird. | 最后这句话听起来有点奇怪 |
| [15:38] | You did just hear that Paul F. Tompkins | 你听到保罗·汤普金斯刚刚的话了吧 |
| [15:40] | kidnapped my grandmother, right? | 他绑架了我奶奶 |
| [15:43] | To be fair, I believe I started talking before the call. | 公平地说 电话打来之前我就开始说话了 |
| [15:46] | Besides, a comedian taking your grandmother out to dinner | 再说了 一个喜剧明星带你奶奶去吃饭 |
| [15:51] | does not sound like a problem. | 听起来没什么大问题吧 |
| [15:53] | I have a problem. I am incredibly rich. | 我这才有问题 我一夜暴富 |
| [16:10] | Jimmy, I have to apologize for Bec’s behavior. | 吉米 我为贝卡的行为向你道歉 |
| [16:13] | That was gross and inexcusable. | 她的行为很恶心 而且不可原谅 |
| [16:15] | Yeah, I agree. Your wife is gross, | 是的 我同意 你老婆很恶心 |
| [16:17] | and there’s no excuse for it. | 找不到任何借口的那种恶心 |
| [16:19] | Ever since I was born dead, people– life– | 自从我出生就死以来 人 生活… |
| [16:22] | have seemed ruled purely by chaos. | 似乎完全都被混乱统治 |
| [16:25] | But losing everything | 但是失去一切 |
| [16:26] | has finally allowed me to slow down, | 终于让我能慢下来 |
| [16:29] | and I can see there’s an order to everything. | 我可以看到万物都是有序的 |
| [16:33] | Becca’s the perfect example. | 贝卡就是个最好的例子 |
| [16:35] | Our whole marriage, I could never predict | 我们整个婚姻 我完全预测不到 |
| [16:38] | what she was gonna do from moment to moment. | 她下一刻会做什么 |
| [16:40] | But now? The moment she learned you had a few bucks, | 但是现在呢 她知道你有钱的那一刻 |
| [16:42] | I knew exactly what she was gonna do. | 我就知道她会做什么了 |
| [16:44] | Run over here to raise her tail. | 跑过来摇尾巴 |
| [16:46] | And I’m not mad at her. You know why? | 我不生她的气 你知道为什么吗 |
| [16:50] | Because losing everything, | 因为失去一切 |
| [16:52] | it’s actually made us close again. | 其实让我们再一次变得亲密了 |
| [16:54] | Take last night– after Tallulah went to sleep in her drawer, | 就拿昨晚来说 塔卢拉在她的抽屉里睡着后 |
| [16:57] | Becca and I fired up a joint, | 贝卡和我点了根大麻烟 |
| [16:59] | we sat on Lindsay’s couch, watching TV, | 坐在琳赛的沙发上看电视 |
| [17:01] | laughing about this and that. | 笑这笑那 |
| [17:04] | And, unprompted, | 突然 |
| [17:07] | she started giving me a hand job. | 她主动开始给我手淫 |
| [17:11] | And, Jimmy, I started to weep. | 吉米 我当时就哭出来了 |
| [17:14] | There she was, the woman I love, | 我爱的女人 就在我眼前 |
| [17:17] | sipping on boxed Chablis | 喝着盒装夏布利酒 |
| [17:18] | and spitting in her hand. | 吐到她手里 |
| [17:21] | I could really see her for the first time. | 我第一次得以情真意切地看到她 |
| [17:24] | And now that I can, I never want to stop. | 现在我可以了 我就再也不想停下来了 |
| [17:27] | I don’t want to go back to the fog of work, | 我不想再打拼事业 |
| [17:31] | accomplishments, achievement, | 追求成就 成绩 |
| [17:33] | money, money, money, | 钱 钱 钱 |
| [17:34] | taking everything for fucking granted. | 忽视其他的一切 |
| [17:36] | I will not do that again. | 我不会再那么做了 |
| [17:39] | I will not, goddamn it. | 我不会了 妈的 |
| [17:41] | All we have are moments, Jimmy. | 我们拥有的只是那些美好瞬间 吉米 |
| [17:44] | Like that hand job. | 比如那一场手淫 |
| [17:46] | Like this moment. | 比如这一刻 |
| [17:47] | You sew enough of those moments together, | 你把足够多的那些瞬间缝到一起 |
| [17:50] | and, the next thing you know, | 接下来 |
| [17:51] | you have a life worth really seeing. | 你就拥有值得去欣赏的生活了 |
| [17:56] | Which is why I need you to give me $14,000 | 所以我需要你给我1.4万美金 |
| [17:59] | so I can convert this Korean meatball truck | 这样我就能把这辆韩国肉丸车 |
| [18:01] | into a roving medical unit. | 变成流动医疗诊所 |
| [18:04] | What do you say? | 你觉得呢 |
| [18:05] | You in or what? | 你加不加入 |
| [18:07] | What? | 什么 |
| [18:08] | No. | 不 |
| [18:10] | Well, had to try. | 我总得试一下 |
| [18:14] | Hey, babe. | 嘿 宝贝 |
| [18:15] | Nah, it didn’t work for me either. | 不 我也没成功 |
| [18:17] | Yeah, he’s being a jerk-off. | 是的 他很混蛋 |
| [18:18] | Meet you out front in ten. | 10分钟后前门见 |
| [18:20] | Can we stop at Yogurtland? | 我们能在酸奶店停一下吗 |
| [18:22] | Ah, come on! | 拜托 |
| [18:24] | She’s on her way. | 她马上就来了 |
| [18:26] | You gonna eat that grilled cheese? | 你还吃那块烤乳酪吗 |
| [18:28] | Ugh. Who knew rappers could be so temperamental? | 谁知道说唱歌手竟会这么喜怒无常 |
| [18:31] | What’s up, Gretch? | 怎么了 格雷琴 |
| [18:32] | Congrats on the big news. | 大好消息 恭喜啊 |
| [18:34] | My promotion? | 我的升职吗 |
| [18:35] | You got promoted? Tight. | 你升职了 厉害 |
| [18:38] | That must be Lindser. | 肯定是琳子 |
| [18:40] | We’re finally gonna try champ-pons tonight. | 我们终于要在今晚尝试香棉了 |
| [18:42] | – Hmm? – Champagne tampons? | -什么 -香槟卫生棉 |
| [18:45] | It’s huge on Reddit. | 在网上超火的 |
| [18:51] | Famous rappers. Noice! | 著名的说唱歌手 噪起来 |
| [18:53] | Put me in a video. Don’t be dicks. | 把我拍到视频里 别犯浑 |
| [18:55] | We just came to tell you face-to-face that you’re not leaving us. | 我们就是来面对面告诉你 你不能抛弃我们 |
| [18:59] | Because we’re leaving you first. | 因为我们要先抛弃你 |
| [19:01] | Oh, snap. | 惊了吧 |
| [19:03] | Is that something I would say? | 我说这句台词不违反人设吗 |
| [19:04] | I am not leaving you guys. | 我没有要抛弃你们 |
| [19:05] | I am just expanding my team. | 我只是在扩大我的团队 |
| [19:08] | I know you’re worried Lindsay won’t be up for running point, | 我知道你们担心琳赛不能独当一面 |
| [19:10] | but I’m holding her hand through everything. | 但是我会手把手教她的 |
| [19:12] | Plus, she’s crazy matured. | 而且 她超成熟 |
| [19:16] | * Oh, our pussies getting drunk tonight * | *我们的逼今晚要醉了* |
| [19:21] | Oh, hey. | 你们好啊 |
| [19:22] | Well, if it isn’t my new favorite clients. | 这不是我最喜欢的新客户吗 |
| [19:24] | We’re not your clients. | 我们不是你的客户 |
| [19:26] | – We’re leaving Caliber. – Oh, what’s Caliber? | -我们要离开卡利波 -卡利波是什么 |
| [19:29] | Look, guys, I get it. | 听着 各位 我懂的 |
| [19:30] | Change is scary, but Gretch has laid | 改变很可怕 但格雷琴已经给你们 |
| [19:33] | a killer foundation | 打下了坚实的基础 |
| [19:34] | and I’m gonna take you to the next level. | 我会带你们更上一层楼的 |
| [19:36] | Psh. How? | 吹吧 怎么带 |
| [19:37] | Let’s not get into specifics right now… | 现在先不说那么具体… |
| [19:38] | Vice, Complex, and The Source | 好几家著名媒体 |
| [19:40] | are coming to town next week to do a press tour | 下周要来举行一个媒体巡回宣传会 |
| [19:42] | to reinvigorate the brand. | 重振品牌 |
| [19:43] | Plus, I’ve been talking to a Swedish promoter, | 并且 我在跟瑞典的营销公司积极联系 |
| [19:45] | where you guys are very popular, | 你们在那里特别受欢迎 |
| [19:47] | and we’re working up a mini tour. | 我们准备给你们开个迷你巡演 |
| [19:48] | If we avoid the windmill parts, that could be cool. | 只要能避开风车 那就很酷了 |
| [19:52] | It’s a great way to publicize the new material. | 那是宣传你们新作品的好方式 |
| [19:54] | We don’t have new material. | 我们没有任何新作品 |
| [19:56] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:58] | Well, you’re gonna need some. | 你们会需要一些的 |
| [20:00] | Chop, chop. | 快点 |
| [20:00] | That’s one motivating bitch. | 真是个执行力巨强的贱人 |
| [20:02] | Yeah, she’s good. | 是啊 她很厉害 |
| [20:05] | – I’m Honey Nutz. – Shut up. | -我叫蜜蛋 -闭嘴吧 |
| [20:06] | What was that? | 刚刚这是什么情况 |
| [20:08] | – How did you… – This job is not that hard, Gretch. | -你是怎么… -这工作也没那么难 格雷琴 |
| [20:11] | It’s just asking for things, and I’m a really good asker. | 只需要开口索要东西就行 我是个一流的索取者 |
| [20:14] | Because you have no shame. | 因为你一点羞耻感都没有 |
| [20:16] | Exactly. | 对极了 |
| [20:26] | Mmm, what’s going on with you? | 你是怎么了 |
| [20:28] | Why do I want to suck your dick? | 我为什么会想舔你的屌 |
| [20:29] | – Because you’re Lindsay? – No. | -因为你是琳赛 -不 |
| [20:32] | Usually, this only happens when I’m around someone who… | 通常 只有当那个人… |
| [20:37] | Listen, apparently, everyone already knows, | 听着 显然 大家都已经知道了 |
| [20:39] | and you’re gonna find out soon anyway, | 你很快也会知道的 |
| [20:41] | – so… – Jimmy, | -所以… -吉米 |
| [20:42] | here’s your dollar back. | 把你的一块钱还给你 |
| [20:44] | I broke your confidentiality. I told Becca. I’m sorry. | 我违反了保密协议 我告诉贝卡了 对不起 |
| [20:46] | Told Becca what? | 告诉贝卡什么 |
| [20:47] | Finding out when someone has money | 识别出有钱人 |
| [20:49] | is the Cottumaccio superpower. | 是卡特玛乔家族的祖传超能力 |
| [20:51] | Don’t worry, I plan on reporting myself to the FDIC. | 别担心 我打算向联邦储蓄保险公司告发自己 |
| [20:54] | Jimmy, what is he sorry for? What money? | 吉米 他到底在为什么事道歉 什么钱 |
| [20:56] | Well, that’s what I want to talk to you about. | 那正是我想跟你说的事 |
| [20:57] | I knew I wanted to suck your dick for a reason. | 我就知道我想舔你的屌是有原因的 |
| [21:00] | – Vernon? – Right here, babe. | -弗南 -在这儿呢 宝贝 |
| [21:02] | I’m eating a secondhand cheese sammy. | 我在吃别人吃剩下的芝士饼 |
| [21:04] | That’s the least that fink could give us. | 那是这个混蛋至少可以施舍给我们的 |
| [21:06] | What the hell is going on? | 到底是怎么回事 |
| [21:08] | Jimmy’s about to become an angel investor | 吉米要当天使投资人 |
| [21:10] | – in my surgeries- in- a- food- truck business. – No! | -投资我的「在食物卡车里做手术」生意 -不是 |
| [21:13] | We need out of Lindsay’s hovel. | 我们需要搬出琳赛家 |
| [21:16] | You ruined a perfectly good… | 你毁掉了一个完美的… |
| [21:18] | – What about me? – Stupid… | -那我呢 -你个愚蠢的… |
| [21:19] | We all need… | 我们都需要… |
| [21:20] | Shut up here. | 闭嘴吧 |
| [21:26] | Oh, my God! | 天呐 |
| [21:27] | I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. | 很抱歉我之前没告诉你 |
| [21:28] | I was just worried that it would change things. | 我只是担心那会改变一些事 |
| [21:32] | Jimmy, | 吉米 |
| [21:34] | if I cared about money, I would’ve married Ty | 如果我在乎钱 我就会跟泰结婚了 |
| [21:36] | or Chingy or any of the other countless rich guys I’ve banged. | 或者秦 或者其他我上过的有钱男人 |
| [21:40] | I’m not horny for stuff, dummy. Never have been. | 我不是个物欲很强的人 笨蛋 从来就不是 |
| [21:43] | I’m just a bottomless pit | 我就是个无底洞 |
| [21:44] | of need for constant male validation. | 需要无尽的男性的认可 |
| [21:47] | – That’s comforting. – And, besides, | -真是令人大感安慰 -再说了 |
| [21:49] | you’ve already given me the greatest gift in the world. | 你已经给了我全世界最好的礼物了 |
| [21:51] | – My love. – You ate your come. | -我的爱 -你会吃掉你的精液 |
| [21:53] | Because I told you it was important to me. | 因为我跟你说了那对我很重要 |
| [21:57] | And then you did it a second time for some reason. | 然后你不知道为何又吃了一次 |
| [21:59] | – Stop. – Well, you must’ve really liked it. | -别说了 -你一定很喜欢精液的味道 |
| [22:02] | No, I- – no, I didn’t like it! | 不 我才不喜欢 |
| [22:04] | Then why’d you gobble it all up? | 那你为什么要大吃一精 |
| [22:05] | I was making sure it tasted as weird as I thought it did. | 我只是想确认那东西跟我猜测的味道一样古怪 |
| [22:30] | Jimmy, we’ve all been talking, | 吉米 我们谈了很久 |
| [22:31] | and we’re sorry we all bum- rushed you for help. | 我们很抱歉我们都试图向你借钱求助 |
| [22:34] | That wasn’t fair. | 那不公平 |
| [22:35] | What’s fair is giving each of us $10,000 | 真正公平的做法是 你给我们每人一万美元 |
| [22:38] | and calling it even. | 就当扯平了 |
| [22:38] | Just get your checkbook and let’s end the madness. | 去拿你的支票簿来 结束这疯狂的事吧 |
| [22:42] | The money’s gone. | 钱都没了 |
| [22:43] | What did she do with it? What did you do with it? | 她把钱都怎么挥霍了 你把那些钱怎么败光了 |
| [22:46] | She didn’t do anything. I did. | 她什么都没干 是我干的 |
| [22:48] | I just paid off my mortgage. | 我把房贷还清了 |
| [22:54] | He did. | 是真的 |
| [22:56] | I no longer wish to suck the dick for money reasons. | 我已经不想再为钱舔屌了 |
| [22:59] | Ever since you got that check, | 自从你拿到那张支票后 |
| [23:01] | you just think you’re so superior, huh? | 你就觉得你高人一等 是吧 |
| [23:04] | I’ve always thought I was superior. | 我向来都觉得我高人一等 |
| [23:06] | Now, if you could all please leave. | 请你们都离开吧 |
| [23:08] | What if I told you guys about a business opportunity | 如果我跟你们说一个商业点子呢 |
| [23:10] | where people could get outpatient medical care | 就是人们可以在韩国料理食物卡车里 |
| [23:12] | in a Korean food truck? | 享受医疗诊断 |
| [23:13] | I’m listening. | 我在认真听 |
| [23:17] | You paid off the house? | 你把房贷都还清了 |
| [23:18] | I did. | 没错 |
| [23:20] | For our future. | 为了我们的未来 |
| [23:25] | Now, let’s christen this bitch. | 我们给这房子来个洗礼仪式吧 |
| [23:32] | Where is my car? | 我的车在哪儿 |
| [23:34] | How dare they leave someone with full- blown polio. | 真是无良 竟敢抛下患有严重小儿麻痹症的乘客 |
| [23:37] | I canceled your Lyft. | 我把你的网约车取消了 |
| [23:41] | Jimmy, | 吉米 |
| [23:42] | please tell me you did not fix my hunk of shit car. | 别告诉我你把我那辆破车修好了 |
| [23:47] | A possum just gave birth in the engine block. | 一只负鼠在发动机组里生了一窝小负鼠 |
| [23:55] | I have always wanted a big ribbon! | 我一直都想要一个大彩带 |
| [23:59] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [24:01] | A new car. | 一辆新车 |
| [24:03] | A forever house. | 一栋永远的房子 |
| [24:06] | Don’t look now, | 虽然现在还不太像 |
| [24:07] | but I think we might be turning into grown- ups. | 但我觉得我们或许要变成真正的成年人了 |
| [24:15] | Pancakes? | 去吃煎饼吗 |
| [24:16] | Let’s do it! | 走吧 |