| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | hi, I’m gonna be your waitress, | 你好 我是今晚的服务生 |
| [00:03] | ’cause my mother drank. | 谁让我妈是不争气的酒鬼呢 |
| [00:06] | We need a sec. | 稍等一下 |
| [00:07] | Feeling’ kinda generous, take two. | 姐大方点 等你们两下好了 |
| [00:10] | Then he said to me, “dude, your vagina is weird.” | 他对我说”妹子 你的阴道长得也太奇葩了” |
| [00:13] | Dude, that’s insane. | 他也太扯了吧 |
| [00:14] | It is so not weird. | 你那里一点都不奇葩啊 |
| [00:15] | Your vagina’s awesome. | 你的阴道棒呆了 |
| [00:17] | Okay, I’m ready. | 好了 我可以点餐了 |
| [00:18] | Now I need a sec. | 现在换你们等我一下 |
| [00:21] | Well, it’s over. | 好了 一切玩完了 |
| [00:22] | I can’t say it anymore. | 那个词我再也不能说了 |
| [00:24] | The vagina’s gone mainstream. | 阴道变成流行词汇了 |
| [00:25] | What’s next? A clothing line at Target? | 接下来呢 在百货公司推出服装品牌吗 |
| [00:29] | Aw, Max, I’m sorry. | 麦克斯 我也替你难过 |
| [00:31] | It’s your favorite word. | 那可是你最爱的词 |
| [00:32] | And my favorite body part. | 那也是我最爱的部位 |
| [00:34] | But now everyone’s saying it. | 可现在人人都把它挂嘴边 |
| [00:35] | Well, we can pick another word for it. | 我们可以换个词来替代它嘛 |
| [00:37] | Something cute, like cookie. | 想个可爱点的 比如”小饼干” |
| [00:39] | Yeah, it sounds like a good idea | 是啊 乍听之下还可以 |
| [00:40] | Until you walk past a bunch of girl scouts | 但哪天你碰到一群在大街上卖 |
| [00:42] | selling their cookies on the street. | “小饼干”的女童军就尴尬了 |
| [00:45] | Well, we’ve gotta pick something, | 我们还是得找个新词 |
| [00:46] | ’cause vagina’s everywhere. | 毕竟”阴道”已经烂大街了 |
| [00:49] | Where? | 哪条街 |
| [01:07] | Previously on 2 broke girls… | 《打工姐妹花》前情回顾 |
| [01:09] | This is invitation to metropolitan museum annual gala. | 这是大都会博物馆年度晚会的邀请函 |
| [01:14] | We have the invitation. She’ll be there. | 我们有邀请函 她又会在场 |
| [01:16] | You are talking about us stalking Martha Stewart. | 你是说我们去跟踪玛莎·斯图尔特吗 |
| [01:19] | So you want me to taste your cupcake in the ladies’ room? | 所以你要我在女厕所吃你的小蛋糕吗 |
| [01:22] | What’s inappropriate about that? | 还有比这更不合时宜的吗 |
| [01:24] | That is our beer batter | 这是我们的酒混面粉 |
| [01:25] | maple bacon spring break cupcake. | 加枫蜜培根的特制春假小蛋糕 |
| [01:28] | Quite tasty. | 蛮好吃的 |
| [01:30] | Do you girls have a card? | 你们有名片吗 |
| [01:31] | Martha Stewart likes our cupcakes! | 玛莎·斯图尔特喜欢我们的小蛋糕 |
| [01:36] | Max, have you seen my phone? | 麦克斯 你看见我的手机了吗 |
| [01:38] | I wanna take a picture of this bad tip | 我要把这点少得可怜的小费拍下来 |
| [01:39] | and put it on Instagram. | 然后放到图片分享网 |
| [01:41] | Getting loose change used to be so depressing, | 以前收到这么散的零钱会难过 |
| [01:43] | but now I can share it with strangers. | 但是现在我可以跟陌生人分享一下 |
| [01:45] | Let me sum it up. | 我来总结一下 |
| [01:46] | Twitter is stupid. | 推特已经够蠢了 |
| [01:47] | And Instagram is twitter for people who can’t read. | 而图片分享网 就是给不识字的人看的推特 |
| [01:52] | Where is my phone? | 我的手机在哪儿 |
| [01:53] | I could’ve sworn I left it right here, next to yours. | 我发誓我把它放在你手机旁边了 |
| [01:56] | Oh, I’ll just call it. | 我打个电话就知道了 |
| [01:57] | Oh, that’s not necessary. | 没必要吧 |
| [01:59] | I’m sure it’ll turn up… | 它会自己跑出来的… |
| [02:00] | * My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard * | * 老娘的”奶”昔招蜂引蝶一流 * |
| [02:02] | * and there like it’s better than yours * | * 随便一比都比姐们你牛 * |
| [02:05] | In my pocket. | 在我口袋里 |
| [02:06] | Max, why are you hiding my phone in your apron? | 麦克斯 你干嘛把我手机藏在你围裙里 |
| [02:08] | Is that the big question, really? | 这不是重点 好吗 |
| [02:10] | ’cause I think the bigger question is, | 我觉得重点是 |
| [02:12] | Why is your ringtone | 你的铃音为什么会是 |
| [02:13] | “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”? | “老娘的”奶”昔招蜂引蝶一流” |
| [02:17] | If you have to ask that, | 如果连这你都不知道 |
| [02:18] | You clearly have not seen my milkshake. | 那想必你是没看见过我的”奶昔” |
| [02:22] | Okay, here. I’m busted. | 好吧 还给你 被你逮到了 |
| [02:24] | I was checking to see if Martha Stewart called us yet. | 我检查玛莎·斯图尔特给我们打电话了没 |
| [02:26] | You checked it again? | 你又检查啊 |
| [02:28] | You check it, like, every 15 minutes. | 你每15分钟就要看一遍 |
| [02:29] | I know! I am acting like a little bitch. | 是啊 我现在就像个没骨气的妞 |
| [02:33] | Max, Martha Stewart has our business card. | 麦克斯 玛莎·斯图尔特有我们的名片 |
| [02:35] | She liked our cupcakes. She’ll call. | 她喜欢我们的小蛋糕 她就会打电话 |
| [02:37] | Look, in my defense, she asked for our card. | 我想说的是 是她先开口要的名片 |
| [02:40] | She got us all hot and bothered. And then what? | 把我们搞得既兴奋又期待 然后呢 |
| [02:42] | Nothing. | 音讯全无 |
| [02:43] | Martha Stewart is a cake tease. | 玛莎·斯图尔特敢说不敢做 |
| [02:48] | How dare you! | 你好大的胆子 |
| [02:49] | Martha Stewart is not a cake tease. | 玛莎·斯图尔特才不是敢说不敢做呢 |
| [02:51] | Nothing worse than a cake tease. | 敢说不敢做的人最差劲了 |
| [02:53] | Ask any man. | 不信你随便找个男人问问 |
| [02:55] | Yeah, you shower, you powder your sack. | 你兴冲冲沐浴更衣 还给蛋蛋擦香香 |
| [02:58] | For what? | 不给搞算毛啊 |
| [03:01] | Look, Max, relax. She’ll call. | 麦克斯 别紧张 她会打给我们的 |
| [03:03] | Everything’s gonna work out. | 一切都会水到渠成的 |
| [03:05] | I mean, a year ago, | 一年以前 |
| [03:06] | we didn’t even have a cupcake business. | 我们连小蛋糕事业都没有 |
| [03:07] | Look how far we’ve come. | 现在进步了这么多 不爽吗 |
| [03:10] | I haven’t come at all, | 全怪那个敢说不敢做的人 |
| [03:10] | thanks to the cake tease. | 我一点”爽”感都没有 |
| [03:15] | Oh, your cupcake is quite tasty. | 你们的小蛋糕真好吃 |
| [03:19] | Do you have a card? | 你们有名片吗 |
| [03:20] | Max, that’s a good Martha Stewart. | 麦克斯 你学她可真像 |
| [03:22] | I know, ’cause I can’t get her siren voice out of my head. | 我知道 因为我忘不掉她蛊惑人的声音 |
| [03:30] | Wow, Han. | 哎哟 小憨憨 |
| [03:33] | You look you were hit by a mardi gras | 你就像被一辆狂欢节花车撞完 |
| [03:35] | and a gay pride float. | 然后又被一辆男同游行彩车撞到 |
| [03:37] | I have just returned from the exciting | 我刚从激动人心的 |
| [03:39] | Manhattan restaurant trade show. | 曼哈顿餐馆贸易展览归来 |
| [03:41] | Look at all this free swag. | 快看这些免费的赠品 |
| [03:42] | And I’ve got stress balls. | 我还拿了很多减压球 |
| [03:44] | Well, just go in the back and take care of yourself. | 那你去后面好好”自己玩”吧 |
| [03:49] | Listen up, everybody. | 各位听着 |
| [03:50] | I have a big announcement. | 我有大事宣布 |
| [03:51] | Well, more like a 5’1 annoucement. | 哪能多大 顶多一米六 |
| [03:55] | I am changing the diner to state-of-the-art | 我要把餐厅改造现代化的餐厅 |
| [03:57] | computer “Power touch” ordering system for food and checks. | 点餐和结账采用电脑智慧触控式系统 |
| [04:00] | I am not learning anything new. | 我才不学什么新东西呢 |
| [04:02] | I work here because I have no skills. | 老娘来这上班 就是因为没啥能力 |
| [04:06] | You don’t have to learn it, Max. | 这系统不必学 麦克斯 |
| [04:07] | It’s very smart machine. | 它是台很智能的机器 |
| [04:09] | It will help you. | 它会帮你的 |
| [04:11] | That’s how it started with machines in The Matrix. | 《黑客帝国》里的机器一开始也是那样啊 |
| [04:13] | Next thing you know, the human race was enslaved. | 结果很快人类就变成了电脑的奴隶 |
| [04:15] | Been there, done that. | 我亲身体验过了 |
| [04:17] | I’m with Max. | 我支持麦克斯 |
| [04:20] | We are doing it. | 不行也得行 |
| [04:21] | It’s important to move the business into the future. | 让生意与未来接轨是十分重要的 |
| [04:23] | 卢德分子: 19世纪对抗工业革命 反对机械代替人力的人们 | |
| [04:24] | So get with it, you Luddites. | 慢慢习惯吧 卢德分子们 |
| [04:28] | Girls, we got big trouble. | 姑娘们 咱们有麻烦啦 |
| [04:30] | If he starts using a new system, | 他要是搞了这个新系统 |
| [04:32] | I won’t be to use my old system, | 我就没办法用以前的系统 |
| [04:34] | where I skim somethig of the top. | 也就表示没办法捞油水了 |
| [04:37] | Earl, skimming? | 厄尔 捞油水吗 |
| [04:38] | I’m kind of shocked. | 我真不敢相信你会这样 |
| [04:40] | I don’t do it for me. | 我又不是为了自己 |
| [04:41] | You know how once a month you girls | 你们俩不是每个月都会 |
| [04:43] | have a really good night in tips? | 有个小费满满的夜晚吗 |
| [04:45] | You are welcome. | 大恩不言谢 记心里就行 |
| [04:47] | I have been lying awake at night trying to figure out | 我那晚整宿睡不着 就是想不明白 |
| [04:49] | how we made that 200 bucks with her skills. | 就她那样 我们怎么可能赚那么多小费 |
| [04:54] | – Hey, girls. – Hey, Sophie. | -姑娘们 -你好啊 苏菲 |
| [04:56] | You know, every time I come here, | 我每次来光顾都在惊讶 |
| [04:57] | I’m surprised you’re still open. | 你们店怎么还没倒闭 |
| [05:03] | Here you go, Sophie. | 给 苏菲 |
| [05:06] | Where’s the little asian woman | 那个每次都给我递菜单的 |
| [05:07] | That always hands me my menu? | 小亚洲姑娘哪去了 |
| [05:10] | Asian woman? | 亚洲姑娘 |
| [05:11] | You mean Han? | 你是说阿憨吗 |
| [05:13] | Sophie, Han’s a man. | 苏菲 阿憨是男的 |
| [05:15] | If you say so. | 你说是就是吧 |
| [05:20] | Is there anything special tonight? | 今晚有什么特别菜吗 |
| [05:22] | Yes. | 有的 |
| [05:23] | Here I am… | 特别菜来也 |
| [05:26] | with treats for my sweet. | 还带了礼物给我的小甜心 |
| [05:30] | Day-glo zebra? | 荧光斑马纹 |
| [05:32] | That’s my favorite animal. | 我最爱斑马了 |
| [05:36] | Oh, and edible underwear! | 可食用内衣裤 |
| [05:39] | That’s my favorite snack. | 那是我最爱的点心呢 |
| [05:43] | Yeah, and they’re crotchless, so less carbs. | 而且内裤无裆 让你少吃点碳水化合物 |
| [05:49] | Oh, and my favorite microwavable lube. | 还有我最爱的可微波润滑液 |
| [05:55] | And what’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [05:58] | Toothbrushes? | 牙刷吗 |
| [06:00] | Oh, that’s going to hurt you, but okay. | 你会疼的吧 不过你喜欢就好 |
| [06:05] | No, I want to leave them at your house, | 不 我是想把这些留在你家 |
| [06:07] | Now that you and I are exclusive. | 毕竟我们俩现在是专属情人了 |
| [06:12] | Exclusive? | 专属情人吗 |
| [06:14] | Wait, hold phone. | 等等 我先问清 |
| [06:16] | Are you telling me that you and I | 你觉得我们俩还没到 |
| [06:18] | are not exclusive? | 专属情人的地步吗 |
| [06:19] | Exclusive? | 专属情人吗 |
| [06:22] | Oh, come on. | 哎哟 逗死我了 |
| [06:23] | Stop it now. Go on Jay Leno. | 要被你逗死了 接着说笑啊 |
| [06:27] | Caroline, did you think Sophie and I were exclusive? | 卡洛琳 你觉得我和苏菲到专属对方的地步了吗 |
| [06:31] | Well, you have stopped showing us your penis. | 你现在的确是不对我们露鸟了 |
| [06:34] | Exactly! | 就是嘛 |
| [06:35] | If that’s not exclusive, I don’t know what is. | 这都不算对你一心一意 那什么才算 |
| [06:38] | Exclusive! | 还一心一意呢 |
| [06:40] | Oh, my God. | 我要笑死了 |
| [06:41] | Oh, come on, stop it, before I– | 别逗我了 不然我要… |
| [06:48] | It happened. | 来不及了 |
| [06:50] | I split my spanx. | 我的塑身衣笑崩了 |
| [07:01] | Martha Stewart, please. | 请接玛莎·斯图尔特 |
| [07:03] | It’s Michelle Obama. | 我是米歇尔·奥巴马[美国总统夫人] |
| [07:06] | What’s this about? | 找她什么事吗 |
| [07:08] | My sheets shrunk and I am pissed. | 我的床单洗缩水了 老娘很不爽 |
| [07:12] | Hello? | 还在吗 |
| [07:13] | Max, it didn’t work when you were Mick Jagger | 你假装是米克·贾格尔说 |
| [07:16] | with a busted muffin tin, | 你的松饼托烤坏了 没用 |
| [07:18] | Or Alicia Keys with a wonky shower curtain. | 装艾丽西亚·凯斯说浴帘摇摇欲坠也没用 |
| [07:22] | And it really didn’t work when you were Steve jobs | 你假装是死而复生的史蒂夫·贾伯斯 |
| [07:24] | back from the dead with thoughts on her panini press. | 说要指点她的三明治机 更没人理你 |
| [07:28] | Stop sober dialing Martha Stewart! | 别在清醒时 一直打电话骚扰人家了 |
| [07:30] | Who says I’m sober? | 谁说我清醒了 |
| [07:32] | Max, give me your phone. | 麦克斯 你的手机给我 |
| [07:37] | * My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. * | * 老娘的”奶”昔招蜂引蝶一流 * |
| [07:40] | Now give me my phone. | 把我的手机换给我 |
| [07:41] | Okay, take it, done. | 拿去 行了吧 |
| [07:43] | I’m over her. | 我看开了 |
| [07:45] | When is she gonna call me? | 她什么时候才会打给我啊 |
| [07:46] | My milkshake would totally bring her to the yard. | 我的”奶”昔一定能把她招来的 |
| [07:49] | Max, this isn’t you. | 麦克斯 这不像你啊 |
| [07:51] | I mean, you’re strong. | 你是女强人 |
| [07:52] | You’re a badass. | 女硬汉 |
| [07:54] | You beat H.P.V. with tylenol. | 你吃止痛药就能消灭乳突病毒了 |
| [07:54] | 人类乳突病毒H.P.V : 某些种类可随性行为入侵人体后引起疣或癌症 | |
| [07:57] | And it wasn’t even the name brand. | 而且你是吃的还是杂牌货 |
| [07:59] | What’s wrong with you? | 你这是怎么回事 |
| [08:01] | I was a virgin before Martha, okay? | 玛莎破了我的处 行了吧 |
| [08:03] | No one ever told me I was good at anything before her. | 在她之前 从来没有人夸过我行 |
| [08:05] | And you never forget your first rich white woman. | 人生”第一个”大款白女人哪能说忘就忘 |
| [08:08] | With or without Martha Stewart, | 无论有没有她的帮忙 |
| [08:09] | We’re gonna build our cupcake business | 我们都会建立起自己的小蛋糕生意 |
| [08:11] | And be a success, I just know it. | 然后飞黄腾达 我看得见那未来 |
| [08:13] | How? How do you know that? | 你怎么看得到 你怎么能肯定 |
| [08:14] | I know because you have the talent, | 那是因为我知道你有天赋 |
| [08:16] | I have the vision, and because I feel it. | 我有洞察力 因为我能感觉到成功在望 |
| [08:18] | I feel it here. | 打从心里感觉到 |
| [08:20] | Oh, blegh! Your heart? | 恶心啊 还你的心呢 |
| [08:22] | No. My pearls- my lucky pearls. | 不是啦 是我的幸运珍珠项链 |
| [08:26] | By lucky, do you mean ugly? | 是幸运还是丑爆啊 |
| [08:28] | I’ve worn these every day | 自从我被驱逐出我家之后 |
| [08:29] | since I was evicted from my townhouse. | 我就天天戴着它 |
| [08:31] | This pearl necklace brings me luck. | 这珍珠项链给我带来好运 |
| [08:34] | You– | 你… |
| [08:35] | You think your life is lucky? | 你觉得你好运吗 |
| [08:37] | This morning you used toilet paper as a coffee filter… | 今早你用厕纸当咖啡机滤纸 |
| [08:41] | and then used it as toilet paper. | 滤完之后再拿回去当厕纸用 |
| [08:45] | I know this sounds silly to you, | 我知道你觉得我白痴 |
| [08:47] | But there is something about | 但每天我只要一戴上 |
| [08:48] | putting on these pearls every day | 我的珍珠项链 |
| [08:49] | that makes me feel strong, confident, | 就会觉得自己既坚强又自信 |
| [08:52] | and like anything is possible. | 好像一切皆有可能 |
| [08:54] | And as long as I have these lucky– | 而只要我还有幸运项链的陪… |
| [09:00] | Oh, no. Oh, no! | 不是吧 不是吧 |
| [09:02] | No, no, no, don’t freak out. | 别别别 别恐慌 |
| [09:03] | Don’t freak out. We’ll get em. | 别恐慌 我们快捡回来 |
| [09:08] | My pearls! | 我的珍珠 |
| [09:09] | My lucky pearls! | 我的幸运珍珠 |
| [09:11] | Yes, yes, we have identified the problem. | 是是是 我们知道有什么麻烦 |
| [09:13] | Just pick them up. | 快动手捡起来吧 |
| [09:23] | Looks like somebody found breakfast. | 看来有人先行享用早餐啦 |
| [09:26] | No, chestnut! | 栗宝 不可以 |
| [09:29] | I’m still using that. | 这锅我会继续拿来做哦 |
| [09:31] | Well, nothing’s gonna work out now. | 现在做什么都是徒劳无功 |
| [09:33] | Here comes the bad luck. | 厄运已经降临了 |
| [09:34] | Don’t be ridiculous. | 说什么傻话 |
| [09:35] | Your luck couldn’t get any worse. | 你本来就衰到不能再衰了 |
| [09:46] | Or could it? | 原来真的一切皆有可能 |
| [09:53] | Okay, Earl. | 你看 厄尔 |
| [09:54] | This is the L-520 order system touch pad. | 这是L-520点菜系统触控板 |
| [09:57] | Look how simple. See? | 你看有多简单 瞧 |
| [10:00] | I’m telling you, | 你听我说 |
| [10:01] | I can’t figure this tricky little thing out. | 我学不会这复杂的玩意 |
| [10:03] | Earl, it’s an on/off button. | 厄尔 刚才的是开关钮 |
| [10:06] | Oh, slow down. | 不会吧 |
| [10:07] | It does both? | 那一键还两用啊 |
| [10:11] | Let me just charge this up for you right here. | 我先帮把这宝贝充上电吧 |
| [10:16] | This thing has been plugged | 这块插线板 |
| [10:18] | more than the Kardashian sisters. | 比卡戴珊姐妹被”插”得还满啊 |
| [10:22] | I better check the old wiring in diner first. | 我还是先检查一下餐馆这老电路吧 |
| [10:25] | Max, now I feel like everyone’s staring | 麦克斯 我现在感觉大家都在 |
| [10:27] | at my chest area. | 盯着我胸口看 |
| [10:28] | Well, welcome to my life, | 欢迎来到我的世界 |
| [10:30] | Every day since I was nine. | 我九岁之后就过着这样的生活 |
| [10:32] | That necklace meant something special to me. | 那珍珠项链对我有特别意义 |
| [10:34] | Didn’t you ever lose anything sentimental | 难道你没有失去过你拥有很久 |
| [10:36] | you had for a long time? | 感情深厚的事物吗 |
| [10:38] | My mother, but then she found her way back. | 我妈啊 不过后来她又自己跑回来了 |
| [10:41] | Look, I am done waiting for Martha to call. | 我受够了一直等她回电 |
| [10:43] | I say we go down there with some cupcakes, | 不如我们再做点蛋糕去找她 |
| [10:46] | remind her how much she liked them, | 提醒她当初她有多喜欢它们 |
| [10:47] | and suggest she puts us on her show. | 然后建议她邀请我们上她节目 |
| [10:49] | No, I mean, I can’t go without my pearls. | 不行 我珍珠都没了怎么去见人啊 |
| [10:51] | And it’s more than just the luck. | 它不仅仅代表着好运 |
| [10:53] | It’s who I was before I lost everything. | 还代表着我破产前的身份 |
| [10:56] | You know how I always say, | 你知道我说 |
| [10:57] | “Hi, I’m Caroline Channing,” | “你好 我是卡洛琳·钱宁”时 |
| [10:58] | and then touch my pearls? | 每次都会摸摸珍珠吧 |
| [11:00] | I’m not just introducing myself. | 我不只是在自我介绍 |
| [11:01] | I’m reminding myself. | 那也是在提醒我自己 |
| [11:03] | Well, let me remind you of something else. | 那让我也提醒你另外一件事吧 |
| [11:05] | Yesterday you told me | 昨天你告诉我 |
| [11:07] | we were going to rule the world with cupcakes. | 我们能靠着小蛋糕征服全世界呢 |
| [11:09] | Yeah, that was the pearls talking. | 有珍珠撑腰 说话自然气壮 |
| [11:11] | Okay, well, now I’m talking. | 那现在轮到我说了 |
| [11:13] | There is no luck. | 幸运是不存在的 |
| [11:14] | There is only work. | 努力才是硬道理 |
| [11:16] | And right now, you’re working my last nerve. | 可你现在只让我想对你使用暴”力” |
| [11:18] | So I am going down there myself. | 所以我打算自己去找她 |
| [11:20] | and if Martha won’t help me, | 如果她不愿意帮忙 |
| [11:21] | I’ma bust her kneecaps with a rolling pin | 我就用擀面棍打爆她膝盖 |
| [11:23] | and then say, “now that’s a good thing.” | 然后说”这样才是一件好事” |
| [11:34] | Okay, what if we just send Martha an E-mail, | 这样吧 我们给她发封电邮如何 |
| [11:36] | so we’re not just standing in her office, | 这样就不用去到她办公楼 |
| [11:37] | begging some receptionist? | 求前台放我们进去了 |
| [11:38] | – That won’t do anything. – Yes, it will. | -那样一点屁用都没有 -有用的 |
| [11:40] | I craft amazing business E-mails. | 我超会写商业电邮呢 |
| [11:42] | I went to Wharton. | 我可是沃顿高材生呢 |
| [11:43] | Please don’t, Max. That’s all I have left. | 求你嘴下留情 我就剩这点资本了 |
| [11:46] | Max, Caroline, I found something | 麦克斯 卡洛琳 |
| [11:48] | at the restaurant trade show | 我在餐馆贸易展览里 |
| [11:50] | you might be interested in. | 发现了点你们会感兴趣的东西哦 |
| [11:51] | The only restaurant trade I’m interested in | 我唯一有兴趣的餐馆贸易 |
| [11:53] | is if we can exchange you for anybody else. | 就是看能不能把你以物易物走 |
| [11:57] | You won’t be laughing in a minute. | 看了你就不会笑我了 |
| [11:59] | Look, it’s a cupcake from the new | 你看 这是我从最新研发的 |
| [12:00] | state-of-the-art cupcake ATM machine. | 自助小蛋糕机买来的小蛋糕 |
| [12:02] | Sprinkles cupcakes plans to be put them everywhere. | 人家连锁小蛋糕店打算城里广设这机器 |
| [12:05] | Soon, everyone will be able to just push a button, | 很快 大家只需按下按钮 |
| [12:07] | Day or night, and get the cupcake. | 无论白天黑夜 随时都能吃到小蛋糕 |
| [12:10] | So, I guess what I’m saying is, | 所以我想说的是 |
| [12:12] | You might be screwed. | 你们俩可能完了 |
| [12:16] | Delicious… | 美味可口 |
| [12:18] | And no attitude. | 不用受气 |
| [12:23] | well, more bad luck. | 坏运气接踵而至 |
| [12:25] | I thought you were kidding, | 我原本以为你在开玩笑 |
| [12:26] | but the machines are taking over. | 但机器真的要取代人类了 |
| [12:27] | We can’t compete with that. | 我们斗不过机器 |
| [12:29] | The business is done. Game over. | 我们的生意完蛋了 游戏结束 |
| [12:31] | Man, you are never gonna make it in the future. | 天啊 你这种态度怎么在未来混啊 |
| [12:33] | This is where the humans fight. | 人类就应该在此时奋起反击 |
| [12:35] | This is where we march down to Martha Stewart | 我们就应该在此时 向玛莎·斯图尔特示威 |
| [12:37] | and demand a damn blurb, | 要求她帮我们大力宣传 |
| [12:38] | So we can compete with the machines… | 这样我们才能跟机器斗 |
| [12:40] | Just like in “Terminator 2: rise of the desserts.” | 就像《终结者2:甜点的觉醒》 |
| [12:44] | Fine. Let’s go see Martha. | 好吧 我们去找玛莎 |
| [12:46] | She’s our only hope. | 她是我们唯一的希望了 |
| [12:47] | My lucky necklace is gone. | 我的幸运项链没了 |
| [12:48] | We can no longer just wait for magic to happen. | 我们不能再坐等奇迹发生 |
| [12:50] | Uh, thank you, by the way, | 对了 谢谢你啊 |
| [12:51] | for never telling me that our former plan was magic. | 从没告诉我 原本的计划是等天降鸿福 |
| [12:57] | We’ll just reintroduce ourselves and our cupcakes to Martha | 我们向玛莎重新介绍自己 和我们的小蛋糕 |
| [13:00] | and impress her all over again, | 然后让她再次记住我们 |
| [13:02] | Even though I’m wearing a necklace that I hate. | 虽然现在的我 戴着一条我讨厌的项链 |
| [13:03] | It’s limp, anemic, and lackluster. | 这项链没个性 没活力 没光泽 |
| [13:05] | I have an Olsen twin around my neck. | 我脖子上戴着的彷佛是奥尔森姐妹 |
| [13:05] | 奥尔森姐妹是美国的电视明星和街拍明星 特点是衣着随意 脸色苍白 | |
| [13:08] | here. | 拿着 |
| [13:10] | what are you doing? | 你这是干嘛 |
| [13:11] | so Martha will recognize me. | 这样玛莎就能认出我了 |
| [13:14] | Hi, excuse me. Two questions. | 打扰了 问你两件事 |
| [13:16] | Which floor is Martha Stewart on? | 玛莎·斯图尔特的办公室在几楼 |
| [13:17] | And should I lose this necklace? | 我应该拿掉这条项链吗 |
| [13:21] | Well, your silence speaks volumes. | 好吧 沉默说明一切 |
| [13:23] | Hi, I’m not crazy, | 你好 我不是疯子 |
| [13:24] | so you can just tell me the floor number. | 你可以把楼层告诉我 |
| [13:26] | Elevator right over there, 15th floor, | 15楼 电梯在那边 |
| [13:28] | Martha Stewart living omnimedia. | 玛莎·斯图尔特生活媒体公司 |
| [13:31] | Just got a little damp. | 有点小兴奋 |
| [13:33] | Thanks for your help. Feels better. | 谢谢你的建议 感觉好多了 |
| [13:36] | Smart, getting necklace advice | 真聪明 问一个没有脖子的人 |
| [13:37] | from a guy with no neck. | 你的脖子该不该戴项链 |
| [13:39] | Wait. Is that– | 慢着 那不就是… |
| [13:41] | That’s the cupcake machine that han was talking about. | 那就是阿憨说的小蛋糕自助机 |
| [13:41] | 自助小蛋糕机是真实存在 全美目前唯一的一台 位于加州比佛利山庄 | |
| [13:43] | Ugh, no! | 天啊 |
| [13:45] | I was hoping it’d be ugly, | 我还希望它会很丑呢 |
| [13:47] | but it’s pink and really cute. | 但它居然是粉色 而且很可爱 |
| [13:49] | It’s like a gay R2-D2. | 就像一台基佬版的R2-D2 |
| [13:53] | Well, a gayer R2-D2. | R2-D2已经够基了 它更基一筹 |
| [13:56] | Who wouldn’t want a cupcake from this? | 谁会想吃从这玩意出来的小蛋糕啊 |
| [13:58] | No one. | 没人 |
| [14:01] | – We have to mess her up. – What? | -我们要给它点”颜色”看看 -什么 |
| [14:02] | Why are you carrying spray-paint in your purse? | 你怎么会在包里随身带着喷漆呢 |
| [14:05] | For the same reason I carry a tampon. | 跟我随身带卫生棉条是一个道理 |
| [14:06] | ’cause you never know. | 以备不时之需嘛 |
| [14:08] | We are not gonna destroy someone else’s property. | 我们不能破坏人家的东西 |
| [14:11] | Well, we have to do something, | 我们必需得做点什么啊 |
| [14:12] | ’cause it’s that machine or us. | 我们不搞死它 它就会玩死我们 |
| [14:14] | Oh, I know. | 我知道了 |
| [14:15] | We can open the little door and put a poop in it. | 我们可以打开那扇小门 放坨屎进去 |
| [14:19] | Not one of mine. Jeez! | 当然不是我的啦 天啊 |
| [14:20] | What am I, a pig? | 你把我当成什么了 猪吗 |
| [14:23] | Well, I’m not doing it. | 反正我是不干 |
| [14:25] | No, we just get some puppy poop from the street. | 不是啦 我们可以从大街上捡点狗屎回来 |
| [14:28] | No! | 不要 |
| [14:29] | We are not that desperate. | 我们没绝望到那种程度 |
| [14:31] | And I’m out of wetnaps. | 而且我的湿巾纸用完了 |
| [14:35] | No, see, we already met Martha. | 不是的 我们以前跟玛莎见过面 |
| [14:37] | We’re just stopping by to say hi. | 现在只是过来跟她问声好 |
| [14:38] | You’ve already met Martha. | 你们以前跟玛莎见过面 |
| [14:40] | – You’re just stopping by to say hi. – Yes. | -现在只是过来跟她问声好 -对 |
| [14:42] | Martha Stewart asked us for our card. | 玛莎·斯图尔特要了我们的名片 |
| [14:44] | Martha Stewart asked you for your card. | 玛莎·斯图尔特要了你们的名片 |
| [14:47] | And where should I tell Martha she asked for your card? | 那我能问下玛莎在哪里要了你们的名片吗 |
| [14:50] | In the ladies’ room. | 女厕所 |
| [14:51] | Martha Stewart asked you for your card in the ladies’ room. | 玛莎·斯图尔特在女厕所要了你们的名片 |
| [14:54] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:55] | Don’t make it sound like that. It happened. | 别说得好像是我们瞎掰的 事实就是如此 |
| [14:57] | We cornered her in the ladies’ room and– | 我们在女厕所堵她 然后… |
| [14:58] | okay, don’t make it sound like that either. | 好了 也别说成是这样 |
| [15:00] | We went to a gala on the off chance | 我们去晚会上碰运气 |
| [15:02] | that she would be gracious enough | 希望玛莎能和蔼地尝一个 |
| [15:03] | to try one of our cupcakes and she did. | 我们做的小蛋糕 结果她的确尝了 |
| [15:05] | She was very gracious. | 她十分和蔼可亲 |
| [15:06] | Yeah, maybe cornered was the wrong word. | 对啊 或许”堵”这个词用得不太对 |
| [15:08] | It’s not like we went there to hunt her down. | 我们又不是去那里追捕她 |
| [15:10] | it’s not like you went there to hunt her down. | 你们又不是去那里追捕她 |
| [15:13] | It’s not. | 真的不是 |
| [15:14] | Okay, I hear your tone. | 好吧 我听出你的语气 |
| [15:16] | I see what’s going down here. | 知道你的把戏是什么了 |
| [15:17] | You think I’m some kind of a problem. | 你觉得我们是来找麻烦的 |
| [15:19] | Well, for the record, Martha came on to me. | 我要声明一句 是玛莎先撩我的 |
| [15:22] | All right. Okay. | 好吧 算了 |
| [15:24] | This is not going as well as we had hoped. | 此行不如我们预期般顺利 |
| [15:26] | Don’t know how it could without my magic pearls. | 没了我的魔法项链 果然一事无成 |
| [15:28] | Okay, look. | 好吧 听着 |
| [15:29] | I get that you’re not gonna let us up there. | 我明白你不会放我们进去 |
| [15:31] | And I don’t blame you, | 我也不怪你 |
| [15:32] | what, with this one talking about magic. | 因为这家伙在扯什么魔法 |
| [15:34] | But just so you know, we are not lying. | 但我得澄清 我们没有说谎 |
| [15:36] | It happened. | 确有此事 |
| [15:37] | And after we hunted her down– | 在我们逮到她后 |
| [15:38] | Because, yeah, you got us on that, we did– | 没错 是你让我们不得不说出实话 |
| [15:41] | Martha told us | 玛莎对我们说 |
| [15:42] | she liked our entrepreneurial drive. | 她喜欢我们俩白手起家的精神 |
| [15:46] | Well, that does sound like Martha. | 这话的确像是玛莎会说的 |
| [15:48] | Okay, I’ll send these up. Have a seat. | 好吧 我帮你们送上去 先请坐吧 |
| [15:50] | Ahh, thank you so much. | 太谢谢你了 |
| [15:52] | And here, uh, please take one, | 给 你拿一个试试吧 |
| [15:54] | Just so you can see for yourself | 这样你也能亲自验证下 |
| [15:55] | why Martha asked for our card. | 为什么玛莎会要我们的名片 |
| [15:57] | Well, I was gonna get a cupcake | 好吧 我本来也打算等会 |
| [15:58] | from that cute machine downstairs later. | 去楼下机器弄个小蛋糕吃 |
| [16:00] | Oh, don’t. | 千万别去 |
| [16:01] | I heard someone found something nasty in that… | 我听说 “一个小时后”有人会在里面 |
| [16:03] | in about an hour. | 发现怪东西呢 |
| [16:04] | Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [16:05] | And this is our beer batter | 这是我们的酒混面粉 |
| [16:06] | Maple bacon spring break cupcake. | 加枫蜜培根的特制春假小蛋糕 |
| [16:11] | I can see why Martha-ow! | 我知道为什么玛莎会… |
| [16:13] | What the– | 什么 |
| [16:15] | I cracked my tooth! | 我牙齿裂了 |
| [16:16] | What? Oh! | 什么 |
| [16:18] | What is that? Is it– | 什么东西啊 是 |
| [16:20] | Is that glass? | 是玻璃吗 |
| [16:21] | No, it’s a pearl. | 不是 是珍珠 |
| [16:23] | I’m so sorry. | 真抱歉 |
| [16:24] | Sorry? You’re sorry? | 抱歉 抱歉有屁用 |
| [16:27] | I’ve been wearing invisaligns for 11 months! | 我都戴了11个月的透明矫正器了 |
| [16:32] | Well, there goes our big break. | 我们生意的大突破就此告终 |
| [16:35] | Never would’ve happened if I had had my necklace. | 如果我的幸运项链在的话 就不会发生这种事了 |
| [16:37] | The one with the lucky pearls | 你说的是那条有着幸运珍珠 |
| [16:38] | that broke into the batter and that woman | 结果线断珍珠撒 还掉进面粉糊里 |
| [16:40] | just spit into her hand mixed with saliva and blood? | 害人家口破血流口水滴的项链吗 |
| [16:42] | That lucky necklace? | 是那条幸运项链吧 |
| [16:44] | Yes. | 对啊 |
| [16:47] | Might as well face it. | 借此面对现实吧 |
| [16:48] | You and I are on our own. | 我们俩只能自食其力 |
| [16:49] | And not just because of Martha either. | 这不只是因为玛莎的这件事 |
| [16:51] | Because there is no such thing as good luck. | 而是因为这世上没有所谓的”好运” |
| [16:53] | Never seen it. | 见都没见过 |
| [16:54] | And all lucky charms are stupid, | 所有的幸运物都愚蠢无比 |
| [16:57] | except for the Lucky Charms, | 唯一的例外是”幸运物早餐片” |
| [16:59] | which are magically delicious. | 它奇迹般地好吃 |
| [17:04] | Look at it over there. | 看那台自助小蛋糕机 |
| [17:06] | Gay R2-D2 just laughing at us. | 基佬R2-D2都在笑我们了 |
| [17:08] | You were right, Max. | 麦克斯 你之前说得对 |
| [17:09] | You and I are on our own. | 我们俩只能自食其力了 |
| [17:11] | We’re just a little start-up cupcake company | 我们只是一家刚起步的小蛋糕店 |
| [17:12] | in a hard, hard world. | 在这乱世中求生存 |
| [17:14] | And we gotta take matters into our own hands. | 我们得亲自动手 扫除面前障碍 |
| [17:17] | Cover me. | 掩护我 |
| [17:18] | Wait, wait, no. | 等等 别啊 |
| [17:19] | No, don’t do it now. | 别现在干啊 |
| [17:20] | – The guard is right there. – Hey, you! | -警卫就在那里呢 -喂 你 |
| [17:22] | Stop that! | 快住手 |
| [17:23] | What kind of freaks deface a cupcake machine? | 怎么会有变态想要乱喷小蛋糕机啊 |
| [17:26] | Run run run. | 快跑快跑 |
| [17:30] | Okay, stop, stop, stop. We lost him. | 行了 停停停 甩掉他了 |
| [17:33] | You know you only tagged the wall, right? | 你知道你没喷到机器 只喷到了墙吧 |
| [17:35] | Yes, I have no luck. | 知道啊 我真是倒霉透了 |
| [17:37] | No one has any luck… | 世上没人有好运气 |
| [17:39] | with the possible exception of Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer. | 除了林赛·罗韩的律师吧 有她这个回头客 |
| [17:39] | 林赛·罗韩 美国知名年轻女星 曾多次犯事而反复出入监狱 | |
| [17:44] | Look, it’s Martha! | 你看 玛莎在那里 |
| [17:46] | She’s getting in that car. Give me the cupcakes. | 她要上车了 把小蛋糕递给我 |
| [17:48] | I’m going after her before she talks | 我要在那个吃到珍珠的女人 |
| [17:49] | to that lady whose mouth we broke. | 告状之前先跟她谈谈 |
| [17:52] | – Max, don’t jiggle the cupcakes! – Don’t worry. | -麦克斯 别晃坏了小蛋糕 -别担心 |
| [17:59] | Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. | 老天啊 上帝啊 耶稣啊 |
| [18:00] | Max, are you all right? | 麦克斯 你没事吧 |
| [18:02] | Are you all right? | 你还好吧 |
| [18:04] | I’m fine. | 我没事 |
| [18:06] | No broken bones, | 也没骨折 |
| [18:07] | which is surprising, because when I was kid, | 真是奇迹啊 因为我小时候 |
| [18:09] | we couldn’t afford milk. | 没钱喝过牛奶补钙 |
| [18:11] | Actually the only time my mother bought milk | 我妈唯一买过一次牛奶 |
| [18:12] | was when my face was on the side of the carton. | 还是因为牛奶盒上有我的照片呢[失踪儿童] |
| [18:15] | Are you sure you’re all right? | 你确定你真的没事吗 |
| [18:17] | Yeah. | 没事啦 |
| [18:19] | I guess there is such a thing as luck. | 原来世上真的有幸运这么一件事 |
| [18:25] | And tomorrow night | 从明晚开始 |
| [18:26] | when you come in for takeout, Sophie, | 当你再次步入餐厅呢 苏菲 |
| [18:28] | All Max has to do is hit this little thing. | 麦克斯只需要轻击这个小东西 |
| [18:30] | Well, if I’m allowed to hit little things, | 如果我可以这么做的话 |
| [18:32] | You’re next. | 我一定击爆你这个小东西 |
| [18:34] | Change makes everyone so tense. | 改变令大家都紧张兮兮 |
| [18:39] | Kitchen is now closed. | 厨房现在关了 |
| [18:41] | I have plans. | 我还有约 |
| [18:43] | Big plans. | 重要的约呢 |
| [18:49] | Sophie, I understand | 苏菲 我知道 |
| [18:51] | your relationship with Oleg is complicated, | 你跟奥列格的关系很复杂 |
| [18:52] | So let’s simplify it. | 所以我就简单一问 |
| [18:54] | Are you having sex in our building tonight, | 你今晚会在咱楼里做爱吗 |
| [18:55] | and do I have to wear earplugs? | 我需要先戴好耳塞吗 |
| [18:58] | I will be alone… | 今晚我独守空闺 |
| [18:59] | But wear them anyway. | 你还是戴着以防万一吧 |
| [19:04] | Hi, um, sorry, we’re closed. | 您好 抱歉 我们关门了 |
| [19:06] | I do not wish to eat. | 我不是来吃东西的 |
| [19:07] | I just got collect call from Oleg. | 奥列格打电话让我上门 |
| [19:11] | She said we are closed. | 她说关门了 |
| [19:14] | Oh? And who are you? | 是吗 你哪位啊 |
| [19:17] | I’m the last person you will see | 我是你被人废了双腿之前 |
| [19:18] | before you learn how to walk again. | 见到的最后那个人 |
| [19:23] | Stay away from Oleg, | 离奥列格远点 |
| [19:26] | Or I’ll pull your intestines out through your nose | 不然老娘会把你的肠子从鼻孔拉出 |
| [19:29] | and give them to her to wear as new necklace. | 然后送给她 当新项链戴 |
| [19:33] | Fine. | 行 |
| [19:34] | I will leave. | 我走 |
| [19:35] | But only because you have eyes of a python, | 但我是给你蟒蛇般煞气的双眼面子 |
| [19:37] | And I have possible U.T.I. | 还有我最近貌似尿道感染了 |
| [19:42] | Sophie… | 苏菲 |
| [19:43] | Why don’t you just admit it, you and Oleg? | 你就承认你跟奥列格关系不一般嘛 |
| [19:46] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:48] | It’s not like I want him. | 不是我想要他 |
| [19:49] | It’s just that where I come from, | 只是我家乡那里的习惯是 |
| [19:51] | You never throw anything away. | 我用完了 也绝对不扔 |
| [19:55] | Here you go, ladies. | 拿去吧 姑娘们 |
| [19:57] | Enjoy the extra tips from your credit cards, | 享受从刷卡的客人身上捞来额外小费吧 |
| [20:00] | because when Han flips that switch, | 因为阿憨一旦按下那个改朝换代的按钮 |
| [20:02] | The only tip I can give you is, | 我能给你们的小费[小秘诀] |
| [20:04] | don’t wash your hair every day. | 就只剩别天天洗头发了 |
| [20:06] | It dries it out. | 头发会丧失水分的 |
| [20:09] | Okay. Here comes the future. | 好啦 一起迈向未来吧 |
| [20:12] | One, two– | 一 二 |
| [20:18] | This old building sucks me so hard. | 这破楼真他妈要把我搞死了 |
| [20:22] | Congratulations, ladies. | 恭喜你们俩啦 |
| [20:24] | This is your lucky night. | 今晚是你们的幸运夜 |
| [20:26] | Speaking of luck, | 说到幸运 |
| [20:28] | here are your pearls. | 这些是你的珍珠 |
| [20:30] | I found most of them, but I think | 我找回了绝大多数 |
| [20:31] | Chestnut ate a few. | 但我猜栗宝吃掉了几颗 |
| [20:33] | You can dig for those later yourself. | 你之后自己去慢慢”挖掘”吧 |
| [20:35] | Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [20:36] | And it won’t look the same, | 但它是弄回不了原样了 |
| [20:37] | because you have to string them on this cheap-ass wire | 因为你得自己用这便宜烂线穿上 |
| [20:39] | I got at the hipster bead store… | 这是我在嬉皮串珠店买的 |
| [20:41] | Beading off. | 店名叫”得以珠之” |
| [20:45] | We can add this Earl bonus money | 我们可以把厄尔给我们的额外收入 |
| [20:46] | to our cupcake business total. | 加到小蛋糕生意基金里啊 |
| [20:47] | Yeah, that 150 will really put a dent | 加上那150块 咱们离目标 |
| [20:49] | in the 250,000 we need. | 又迈进了”一大步”呢 |
| [20:51] | We’ll get there, Max. | 有志者事竟成嘛 |
| [20:52] | Because you and I have something Martha Stewart and machines don’t. | 因为我们有着家政女皇跟小蛋糕机都没有的东西 |
| [20:56] | Unpaid bills? | 未缴的账单吗 |
| [20:57] | Mushrooms growing on our bathroom rug? | 还是浴室门口地毯上长的小蘑菇 |
| [20:59] | No, each other. | 我们有着彼此嘛 |
| [21:02] | Aww, a year later you’re still | 哎哟 都认识一年了 |
| [21:03] | trying to get me to feel things. | 你还在想着让我有点人性 |
| [21:06] | Do you wanna know the real reason | 你想知道我觉得 |
| [21:07] | I thought this necklace was so lucky? | 它是幸运项链的真正原因吗 |
| [21:09] | I was wearing it the day I met you. | 遇见你的那天 我就戴着它 |
| [21:13] | So, I’m gonna have some extras. | 会有多余的珍珠呢 |
| [21:14] | Do you wanna make one for yourself? | 你想给自己也做一个吗 |
| [21:16] | Nah, I’ve had plenty of pearl necklaces, | 不用 我有过很多”珍珠项链”了 |
| [21:16] | 珍珠项链: 也有性爱完 男人射精在女性脖子周围的意思 | |
| [21:18] | and I find them more sticky than lucky. | 我觉得它们是黏腻而不是幸运 |
| [21:23] | Max, ms@MarthaStewartinc.Com | 麦克斯 玛莎斯图尔特网寄信来了 |
| [21:27] | “Haven’t forgotten about you, girls. | “我可没忘了你们俩姑娘哦 |
| [21:29] | Martha Stewart.” | 玛莎·斯图尔特” |
| [21:30] | Just when I thought I was out, | 我才以为人生已经无望 |
| [21:32] | She pulls me back in again. | 她又重燃我希望之火 |