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Imagine:The Art of Stand-Up(单口喜剧的艺术)[2011]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年6月15日 By jubentaici_movie_user Imagine:The Art of Stand-Up(单口喜剧的艺术)[2011]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
电影名称:单口喜剧的艺术
英文名称:Imagine:The Art of Stand-Up
年代:2011

推荐:千部英美剧台词本阅读
时间 英文 中文
[00:07] The process of writing is you sit in a room 写作的过程就是坐在房间
[00:09] and you fire ideas out. 任思绪乱飞
[00:11] Anal sex… 肛交…
[00:13] They don’t start as stories, they start as… 最开始并不是完整的故事 而是
[00:16] 路虎旗下高端品牌SUV
[00:16] A Range Rover… 一辆路虎揽胜
[00:17] little observations. 细微的观察
[00:19] 雪泥饮料品牌
[00:19] Slush puppies. 雪泥狗
[00:20] You can be either too funny 要么就是耍宝过头
[00:22] or you don’t feel you’re giving enough content. 要么就感觉自己对内容的展现力度不够
[00:27] Holy shit. 我了个去
[00:28] It’s nice but not necessary if there’s a point. 抓住重点很重要 有时不必过于强求笑果
[00:31] But Mrs. Thatcher… 但是撒切尔夫人
[00:32] That’s a license for comedy not to be funny. 这种情况下 喜剧即使不搞笑也无妨
[00:35] In Britain if you don’t like a comic 在英国 如果你不喜欢某个喜剧演员
[00:37] you heckle them. 可以起哄
[00:38] In the Middle East we hang them. 在中东 我们直接把丫绞死了
[00:40] I invent almost nothing, I embroider… 我并没有创造什么 只是进行再创作
[00:44] 《星际大战》系列电影中的虚构太空要塞
[00:44] What’s that star? It’s the death star. 那是什么星 死星
[00:46] What does it do? It does death! 干啥用的 用来死的
[00:48] It’s all stuff they can grab hold of. 所有的梗都是观众可以理解的
[00:50] I have a flight tomorrow I have to get up at four. 明天要赶飞机 四点就得起床
[00:53] I’m 22 years old, I still live with my parents. 我22岁了 还和我爹妈住一起
[00:56] The best comics will be able to take you on a journey, 优秀的喜剧演员能带你踏上一段旅程
[00:59] tell you something interesting, make you think. 告诉你一些有趣的事 让你浮想联翩
[01:01] I’m here. 我来了
[01:02] In a way for me it was discovering I had almost nothing to say. 某种程度上 我发现自己几乎无话可说了
[01:06] You wanted to go out, you felt like going out, 你想出门 非常想出门
[01:08] and now you’ve done it. 现在你出了门
[01:09] We might not be as verbally smart as they are… 我们可能没有他们那么妙语连珠
[01:12] But you have to go back. 可你还得回去
[01:15] But our tradition is important. 但是我们的传统很重要
[01:16] Steve, what is comedy? 史蒂夫 喜剧是什么
[01:20] I’m loving being a part of this, 我乐在其中
[01:21] this idea of elevating comedy to the status of art. 这种将喜剧上升到艺术高度的理念
[01:26] Comedy is the ability to make people laugh 喜剧就是有本事把人逗乐
[01:30] without making them puke. 还不能把他们整吐了
[01:43] 单口喜剧的艺术
[01:46] 第二集 – 旅程
本电影台词包含不重复单词:1593个。
其中的生词包含:四级词汇:257个,六级词汇:133个,GRE词汇:138个,托福词汇:181个,考研词汇:291个,专四词汇:205个,专八词汇:40个,
所有生词标注共:517个。
定制生词标注的台词本和单词统计,请访问生词标注台词本
[01:50] What about the writing? Where do you get your material? 那创作呢 你的素材都是哪里来的
[01:52] Where do I get my crazy ideas? 我那些疯狂的点子源自何处
[01:54] Where do you tend to draw your material from? 你通常从什么地方汲取素材
[01:56] Do you actually write it down? 你会把整个段子写下来吗
[02:01] I’m at the beginning of the process of writing a new show 我目前在筹备一场新的演出
[02:03] 克里斯·爱迪生
[02:03] which is the hardest part. 这是最难的部分
[02:05] People always think that the hard part is standing on stage 人们总认为站在台上说挺难的
[02:08] because they can’t imagine doing it themselves. 因为他们无法想象自己这样做
[02:10] That’s fine, we’re show-offs. 那倒还好 我们就是帮爱现的人
[02:12] I open my eyes as much as possible. I’m looking at everything. 我尽可能睁大眼睛 审视一切
[02:12] 达拉·奥布莱恩
[02:15] I start going, “Oh, shoes…” 我开始注意 “鞋子…”
[02:17] And any possible rubbish observation 所有乱七八糟的都看一通
[02:20] about floor boards or ceilings or anything. 地板 天花板啥的
[02:22] Ah, he’s wearing glasses, 他戴着眼镜
[02:23] 艾德·博恩
[02:24] I wonder if there were three lenses on glasses… 我想知道眼镜上是否有三块镜片
[02:27] It doesn’t make any sense. 毫无意义的想法
[02:29] Pylons, why are they that shape? 高压线塔为啥是这个形状
[02:30] What if they were other shape? 要是其他形状会咋样
[02:31] Next door’s wind chimes. 隔壁传来的风铃声
[02:32] They’re that shape cos it’s structurally sound! 弄成这个形状是因为结构最合理
[02:34] It makes sense to be that shape. 那种形状行得通
[02:35] I found a big thing on material is the day before stuff happened. 我发现素材多来自于某些事发生的前一天
[02:36] 艾迪·伊扎德
[02:40] Like at the moment I’m doing the Stone Age 比如目前我在表演关于石器时代的段子
[02:42] and the day before the Stone Age 在石器时代开始的前一天
[02:43] when someone trips over a stone 有人被石头绊了一跤
[02:45] and goes “For fuck’s sake!” 说了句 “尼玛好疼”
[02:47] Things happen to you in your life, 生活中不断有事情发生
[02:48] 杰克·怀特霍尔
[02:48] bad things sometimes, 有时是坏事
[02:50] and you’re not thinking like a human being, 你不是像一般人那样去思考
[02:53] you’re suddenly thinking like a comic, 而是突然以喜剧的视角去看待
[02:55] what angle could I approach this from? 我该从什么角度汲取素材
[02:56] I had no sense of inhibition about my private life, 我对自己的私生活毫不避讳
[02:57] 大卫·巴蒂尔
[03:01] in fact that would be what I would mine entirely. 事实上那是我全力挖掘的素材
[03:03] My husband and I split up 我和丈夫离婚了
[03:04] 夏皮·柯桑迪
[03:04] and I did jokes on Live At The Apollo. 我在《阿波罗现场秀》中调侃了此事
[03:07] 宾果: 一种由叫牌员喊出数字 玩家寻找数字的游戏
[03:07] I remember I just liked the idea of an Indian bingo caller. 我觉得”印度宾果叫牌员”是个好想法
[03:10] Changing a light bulb. 换灯泡
[03:12] Import, export, cash and carry, send by truck or send by ferry, 进口 出口 现购自运 车运或船运
[03:12] 欧米德·吉亚李利
[03:17] our chart, send it by freight 88. 我们租船 委托给88货运公司
[03:19] And you do that for a couple of months hopefully 这样持续几个月
[03:21] enough bare bones things appear. 就开始有个梗概了
[03:24] 88. Then it had a bit more, “88.” 88 还应该加点感情 “88”
[03:27] You are just spending every waking hour with, 每时每刻 只要醒着
[03:32] viewing everything in a skewed way. 都是在以扭曲的视角看待一切
[03:39] 33 33
[03:41] 无为的艺术…
[03:48] It’s just finding your voice and finding 要找到自己的风格 要明白
[03:50] 杰克·迪
[03:50] what it is that you want to say, or don’t want to say, 自己想说什么 不想说什么
[03:54] and in a way, for me, 从某种程度上来说
[03:56] it was discovering I had almost nothing to say. 我发现自己几乎无话可说了
[04:00] I long to be on my own in a house sometimes. 有时我渴望自己一个人待在屋子里
[04:01] 《阿波罗现场秀》
[04:03] It’s just ruined by little domestic things that you have to do. 可却总会被些不得不做的家务事给扰乱
[04:06] The washing machine finishes, 洗衣机洗好衣服了
[04:08] I don’t empty it, to be honest. 我都懒得把衣服拿出来
[04:10] I just switch it on again. Fuck it. 就又把洗衣机打开了 爱咋咋地
[04:13] Often, it’s somewhat dismissed as 有人会说
[04:15] “Oh, it’s observational comedy” “这不过是观察评论类喜剧罢了”
[04:15] 基于日常生活所观察到的幽默趣事的喜剧类型
[04:16] but when it’s done well I think it’s very exciting. 但如果表演到位 也可以有不俗的效果
[04:20] If you watch it for 15 minutes, 你盯着洗衣机看15分钟
[04:22] stock still. Nothing. 一点动静都没有
[04:24] Then you go to open it, it goes, wwwooooo! 然后你过去一掀盖 它就呜
[04:32] Things used to be quite simple, like buying a shampoo. 以前什么事都很简单 比如去买洗发水
[04:36] Do you remember you used to be able to go into a shop, 以前去个商店 可以直接问
[04:38] “Excuse me, can I have a shampoo?” “请问 有洗发水吗”
[04:41] They don’t start as stories, they start as… 最开始并不是完整的故事 而是
[04:41] 比利·康诺利
[04:44] as little observations. 细微的观察
[04:48] 英国美容护肤品牌连锁店
[04:48] You go into Boots the chemist, 现在一去博姿洗化用品店
[04:50] there’s about five lanes of shampoo, 洗发水差不多摆了五个货架
[04:52] six deep. 上下六排
[04:54] All different colours, 颜色各异
[04:55] things you never heard of in your life. 还有些你这辈子都没听说过的东西
[04:58] 用于肌肤和头发护理的植物油
[04:58] Jojoba. 荷荷巴油
[05:00] Whatever happened to soap? 肥皂这是怎么了
[05:05] Jojoba! 荷荷巴油
[05:07] I says, “What’s jojoba?” 我说 “啥是荷荷巴油”
[05:10] In Glasgow, that’s the month before November. 在格拉斯哥 这词指的是11月前面那个月
[05:15] I’ve always equated it to surfing, 我总是将表演比作冲浪
[05:17] the kind of wave comes but I’m not listening to it, 大浪打来 我不是在听
[05:20] I’m not glorifying in it, 不是在颂扬
[05:21] let it wash over me, I’m listening to the sort of timbre of it. 任凭大浪将我打湿 我聆听的是它的气息
[05:26] When it gets to a certain point I step onto it. 等浪高达一定的点 我便随波逐浪滑行
[05:29] “What kind of hair is it for?” “您想买适合什么发质用的”
[05:30] I said, “Pubic hair.” 我说 “阴毛”
[05:34] What? 什么
[05:36] Find that in your fancy labels, you bastard. 在你那五花八门的标签里找找吧 混蛋
[05:39] Because they’re talking to you, 观众会跟你交流
[05:41] they’re actually saying, “Oh, that was very good.” 他们会说 “这很棒哦”
[05:44] And before they get the word good out – shhhhwt. “很棒”这个词还没出口 就变成了”我靠”
[05:47] Do you know what’s always intrigued me? 你知道我一直好奇的是什么吗
[05:50] The way pubic hair only grows to a certain length and then stops. 阴毛总是长到一定长度 然后就不长了
[05:55] I think it would be brilliant, you know, 我觉得要是阴毛
[05:58] if your pubic hair just kept growing, 不停地长就太好了
[06:03] right out the legs of your trousers. 长啊长 直到从裤腿里冒出来
[06:09] And it starts to take shape 然后开始成形
[06:10] and then it becomes a completely different thing 变成与你刚开始构思时
[06:13] than it started out. 完全不同的形态
[06:15] And you could brush it, you could you could brush it, 还可以刷毛 刷得整整齐齐
[06:17] a hundred strokes a night. 一晚上刷一百次
[06:25] And when Billy Connolly is there showing you doing his, 当比利·康诺利在做这个的时候
[06:28] you know, his routine, his grooming with the jojoba shampoo, 那个用荷荷巴油洗发水刷毛的段子
[06:34] you’re there with him. 你会完全跟着他的思路走
[06:35] You’re in a room with 3,500 people 场内有3500名观众
[06:37] but everybody is in the same place. 但大家都在跟着同一个思路走
[06:39] You could back-comb it. 还可以逆刷
[06:42] When I think of Billy Connolly’s shows, 当我想到比利·康诺利的表演
[06:44] it’s like when BBC1 shows all it’s programmes again 就像是BBC1台重播节目时
[06:48] with the deaf woman standing next to it. 会有个聋女站在一旁打手语
[06:51] It’s like that. I can see him. 就是如此 在我看来
[06:53] He’s the woman in the corner telling the story, 他就是角落里的那个聋女 在讲故事
[06:55] but I can see the stories that he’s telling. 但是我能看见他讲的这故事的画面
[06:58] That’s what I remember about those routines. 这就是那些段子给我的印象
[07:00] That’s amazingly powerful. 真是太生动有趣了
[07:03] There’s a lesson for us all there, 这是给我们在座的每个人提个醒
[07:05] don’t squander your money on hair conditioners, 别花那个冤枉钱买护发素啦
[07:07] wear underpants on your head. 在头上套个内裤就成
[07:11] Don’t you think? 你不觉得吗
[07:14] Ladies and gentleman, Jerry Seinfeld. 女士们先生们 有请杰瑞·宋飞
[07:20] He was one of the first people to talk about normal life 他是第一批拿日常生活作为素材的人之一
[07:24] in a way that sort, 并通过这种方式
[07:26] that took it away from very ordinary observational comedy 将普通的观察类评论喜剧变得
[07:29] and into something kind of modern. 具有现代元素
[07:31] That there was a sort of modernity and an urban-ness, 兼具时代感和都市感
[07:34] I guess a New York sophisticated urban-ness, 我觉得他描述生活的方式带有
[07:36] the way he talked about life. 纽约式错综复杂的都市感
[07:38] I love to travel, I love it whether it’s a car or a plane, 我喜欢旅游 不管是开车还是坐飞机
[07:39] 《我跟你说最后一次》
[07:41] I like to get out there, I like to keep it moving. 我就喜欢出去 在路上的感觉
[07:44] I love airports, I feel safe in airports, 我喜欢机场 在机场感觉很安全
[07:46] thanks to the high-calibre individuals 多亏了那些做安检工作的
[07:48] we have working at X-ray security. 高素质人才
[07:52] How about this crack squad of savvy motivated personnel? 这是多么具有专业进取精神的一群人啊
[07:58] The way you want to set up your airport security 想在机场建立一个牛掰的安检系统
[08:00] is you want the short heavy set woman 就得找个又矮又壮的女人
[08:01] at the front with the skin tight uniform. 穿上紧身制服 站你面前
[08:06] That’s your first line of defence. 这是第一道防线
[08:10] You want those pants so tight the flap in front of the zipper 那裤子最好都能紧到拉链前的门襟
[08:13] has pulled itself open, 都崩开了
[08:14] you can see the metal tangs 都能看到拉链上的金属齿
[08:16] hanging on for dear life. 努力扣着 防止春光乍泄
[08:19] When Jerry Seinfeld spends a lot of time 杰瑞·宋飞花了很多时间和精力
[08:21] thinking and focusing on a very small thing, 专注于思考小事上
[08:23] he’s sort of saying this is the art of the inconsequential. 他搞的就是无关紧要的小事的艺术
[08:26] That is both funny 笑果很好
[08:27] and in it is the seeds of comedy’s own downfall, 却也为单口喜剧的衰败埋下伏笔
[08:30] you are both doing something brilliant and sort of saying 虽然表演出色 却又同时宣称
[08:33] and that’s why I won’t win any awards 这就是为何我拿不到奖
[08:35] and be considered as important as Beethoven. 也不会享有像贝多芬一样重要的声誉
[08:38] No, but I will be a multi-multi millionaire. Not bad. 不会 但我会成为百万富翁 也不错
[08:42] Yeah, that’s true! 是的 的确
[08:43] The Olympics is really my favourite sporting event. 奥运会是我最喜欢的运动盛事
[08:46] Although I think I have a problem with that silver medal. 不过我对银牌有点看法
[08:49] I think if I was an Olympic athlete I would rather come in last 我要是个运动员 宁可拿最后一名
[08:53] than win the silver, if you think about it. 也不愿拿个银牌 你想想看
[08:55] You know you win the gold, you feel good. 拿了金牌 感觉很棒
[08:57] You win the bronze you think, well, at least I got something. 拿了铜牌 至少还有所收获
[09:00] But you win that silver, 但拿到银牌
[09:01] that’s like congratulations you almost won. 感觉就是 恭喜 你差点就赢了
[09:05] Of all the losers, you came in first of that group. 所有失败者中 你排第一名
[09:10] You’re the number one loser. 你是头号失败者
[09:13] I think when people write comedy and begin to write comedy 我认为在创作喜剧及开始创作时
[09:16] a lot of the time they mistake that, the idea of the comicality of it, 许多时候 作者都误解了诙谐的涵义
[09:19] so what they do is they think 所以他们会想
[09:20] what is in the community chest of shared knowledge 在这个团体中 人们有哪些共同点
[09:23] that I can sort of tap into? And they’re trying to find some. 是我可以挖掘的呢 他们努力挖寻
[09:26] I remember when I was just started, 记得我开始创作时
[09:27] people might talk about say train-spotters wearing anoraks 喜剧演员会说 “身着连帽雪衣的铁路迷”
[09:31] as a kind of cliche of that. 类似这样的陈词滥调
[09:33] Whereas in fact what you should do is 而事实上你应该做的
[09:35] find something idiosyncratic about your own life 是找出自我生活的特质
[09:37] of your own self and you put it in the dark 然后将其隐藏起来
[09:39] and then you hope that people know about it. 并希望与观众达成共鸣
[09:41] 迈克尔·麦金泰尔现场秀
[09:42] Michael McIntyre, 迈克尔·麦金泰尔
[09:43] he was talking about asking for directions. 他讲的是问路的段子
[09:46] You have certainly socially acceptable times 总有一些社交场合
[09:48] when you’re allowed to talk to people you don’t know. 你必须和陌生人说话
[09:50] The time is one, directions is another one, 问时间是一个 另一个是问路
[09:52] you can ask anyone directions. 向任何人问路都可以
[09:53] You ask people directions. 你找人问路
[09:54] And they’ll obviously endeavour to tell you the way. 他们就努力给你指条路出来
[09:56] Now critics of Michael McIntyre will say 批评迈克尔·麦金泰尔的人会说
[09:59] that’s why he’s a generic comedian who deals with ordinary stuff. 他只会说这些鸡毛蒜皮的小事 成不了大气
[10:03] But he’d done quite a bit about asking for directions 但他在问路的段子上铺设了大量的背景
[10:06] and then he got microscopic. 然后在细节上做文章
[10:09] Sometimes you want to ask directions 有时你想问路
[10:10] but you don’t need all the directions, 但又不是一点头绪都没有
[10:11] you know quite a lot of the directions. Right? 你大体上知道该往哪儿走
[10:13] For example, you know that where you need to be is over there. 比如 你知道自己的目的地在那边
[10:16] You know it. You just don’t know where over there it is. 你很清楚 你只是不知道确切地点
[10:19] So you call upon a stranger to help you. 所以你向陌生人寻求帮助
[10:22] But then you’ll say “Do you know the way to such and such?” 但你会问道 “请问哪哪怎么走”
[10:24] And they immediately go, “Ah you want to go down there.” 他们立刻答道 “你得往那儿走”
[10:27] And as soon as they’ve started talking 这话一出口
[10:28] you think this man knows nothing. 你就会想 这人啥都不知道
[10:31] I’m wasting my time with this person. 问他简直是浪费时间
[10:33] But you can’t stop him, 但你又不能打断他
[10:34] you can’t just go you’re wrong, 你不能直说 “你错了”
[10:36] ‘Cause that makes you look like a weirdo. 否则你就像个疯子一样
[10:39] You can’t go, “No, it isn’t.” 你不能直说 “不 不对”
[10:42] Like I’ve just decided to quiz you on geography! 像是”我就想测验一下你的地理知识”
[10:47] A-ahh, you don’t know where you are! 答错了 你啥都不知道啊
[10:50] You have to listen to them to tell you the whole thing 你不得不听他们说完
[10:52] and not only that when they finish 不仅如此 他们说完后
[10:54] you have to walk the wrong way! 你还必须走这条错路
[10:58] You can’t have someone go, 你不能让别人告诉你
[10:59] “You want to go straight down there” “你得往那边走”
[11:00] And go, “Thank you so much.” 然后说 “非常感谢”
[11:03] It’s brilliant observation but it’s also someone 这个观察很到位 很明显
[11:04] who’s clearly thought, ok, asking for directions, 他想到”问路”这个话题 然后想
[11:07] I’m going to find the sort of deep specifics, 我要挖掘深层次的特质
[11:10] I’m going to the deep space of asking for directions 我要挖掘问路的深层含义
[11:12] until I find something so complicated and baroque 从中找出复杂奇特的东西
[11:16] about what you get into that it’ll be really funny and new. 段子就会搞笑又不失新颖
[11:20] And that is where that observation 正因如此 这种观察
[11:21] becomes a brilliant art form. 才成为一种杰出的艺术形式
[11:30] Eddie is a natural comedian because he understands 艾迪天生就是个喜剧演员 因为他懂得
[11:31] 梅尔·布鲁克斯
[11:34] the juxtaposition of reality and craziness. 将现实和疯狂结合
[11:38] He understands humour. 他很懂幽默
[11:42] There’s gotta be some reality 总有些现实是和
[11:44] against some flight of fantasy. 异想天开相对立的
[11:48] Well, then it’d be the Death Star. 咱们说说死星吧
[11:48] 《圆圆圈》
[11:49] The Death Star’s almost like a New York name, “死星”这名字听起来很纽约
[11:51] the Death Star, if get to the point. “死星” 一语中的
[11:52] What’s that star? It’s the death star. 那是什么星 死星
[11:54] What does it do? It does death! 干啥用的 用来死的
[11:57] It does death, buddy. Get outta my way! 用来死的 老兄 快滚
[12:02] You idiot with your centilitres and your millilitres 你个蠢蛋 只会用些公制单位
[12:06] and your fucking combine harvesters. 开个破联合收割机
[12:09] 英国英格兰北部城市
[12:09] I used to hitch up from London to Sheffield Uni 我曾经从伦敦转至谢菲尔德大学
[12:12] for about three or four years 在那呆了三四年时间
[12:13] and it was getting off at service stations, 那时是从服务站出发
[12:16] or being dropped off service stations 还是被丢在服务站来着
[12:18] and it was Darth Vader probably 达斯·维达那个段子好像
[12:21] 英格兰中部城市
[12:21] Leicester Forest East service station. 就是在莱斯特林东服务站写的
[12:22] There must have been a Death Star canteen. 肯定有个死星食堂
[12:25] There must have been a cafeteria downstairs in between battles 打仗的间隙 大家去楼下喝个咖啡啥的
[12:28] 电影《星球大战》里的重要角色
[12:28] where Darth Vader could just chill and go down, 达斯·维达下楼去放松一下
[12:31] “I will have the Penne Alla Arrabiata.” “来份香辣茄酱通心粉”
[12:35] “You’ll need a tray.” “你得拿个托盘”
[12:37] “Do you know who I am?” “知道我是谁吗”
[12:39] The first stand up I got into was Eddie Izzard, 我看的第一场单口表演就是艾迪·伊扎德的
[12:39] 西蒙·阿姆斯特尔
[12:42] I remember saving up for his VHS tapes. 我攒齐了他的录像带
[12:45] “I can kill you with a single thought.” “我动一动意念就能置你于死地”
[12:47] “Well, you’ll still need a tray.” “那你也得拿个托盘啊”
[12:50] “No, I will not need a tray, I do not need a tray to kill you.” “不 我不用托盘也能干掉你”
[12:53] And I was really intrigued 我真的很好奇
[12:57] by how he was making what he was saying, 他是怎么创作出那些段子的
[12:59] I didn’t know why it was funny 我不知道那段子为什么搞笑
[13:00] and I just felt like I needed to figure it out. 只是觉得自己必须弄明白
[13:03] Because he was so unique and so original. 因为他太独特 也太有创见性了
[13:07] “I can kill you without a tray, “不用托盘 我也能干掉你
[13:08] with the power of the force which is strong within me. 用我内在的强大力量就足够了
[13:12] Even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished, 虽说我乐意的话 也可以用托盘干掉你
[13:16] for I would hack at your neck with the thin bit 就用薄的那边冲你脖子上来一下
[13:19] until the blood flowed upon the canteen floor.” 让你的鲜血溅满餐厅”
[13:22] “The food is hot, you’ll need a tray to put the food on.” “饭很烫 你得拿个托盘盛着”
[13:25] “Oh, I see the food is hot, “原来是因为饭很烫啊
[13:26] I’m sorry I did not realise.” 不好意思我没想到”
[13:29] I transcribed a couple of the tapes 我听录摘抄了一些录像带
[13:32] just to figure out what he was doing 想弄清他的段子
[13:33] ’cause it just seemed so, it wasn’t like set up punch, 因为段子不像是预先写好的
[13:36] it was like what’s he doing, I still don’t know really, 对于他的段子 我还是摸不着头绪
[13:39] I’d underline words and go, well, 我在剧本上画线标注 心想
[13:42] is that the rule of three? 这是三分律吗
[13:43] I don’t know what that is. 我不懂啊
[13:44] It should be establish, reaffirm and you kill it on the third. 首句建立 第二句重申 第三句否定
[13:48] But you can do it on the fourth. 你也可以第四句再否定
[13:50] “He was tall, he was handsome, he was an idiot.” “他高大 英俊 却是个傻缺”
[13:52] “He was tall, he was handsome, he was splendid, “他高大 英俊 华贵
[13:54] he was an idiot.” 却是个傻缺”
[13:56] “He was tall, he was handsome, he was splendid, “他高大 英俊 华贵
[13:57] He could play football, he was an idiot.” 会打篮球 却是个傻缺
[13:59] You can you can do it to five, I think you do it to si… 可以第五句再否定 或第六句
[14:01] After a while people might get bored 不一会儿 观众就会厌烦
[14:04] but you can keep reaffirming before you twist. 但在歪曲否定之前 你可以不停重申
[14:07] I am Lord Vader, 我是维达尊主
[14:08] 《圆圆圈》
[14:08] everyone challenges me to a fight to the death. 每个人都想和我一决死战
[14:11] Lord Vader, Darth Vader, 维达尊主 达斯·维达
[14:12] I’m Darth Vader, Lord Vader, Sir Lord Vader, 我是达斯·维达 维达尊主 维达尊主阁下
[14:13] Sir Lord Darth Vader, Lord Darth, 达斯·维达尊主阁下 达斯尊主
[14:15] 奇姆 英国英格兰东南部郊区
[14:15] Sir Lord, Lord Vader of Cheam, 尊主阁下 奇姆之维达尊主
[14:18] Sir Lord Baron Von Vaderham, 尊贵的维达屯男爵尊主阁下
[14:20] the Death Star, I run the death star. 死星 我掌控着死星
[14:23] “What’s the Death Star?” “什么是死星”
[14:23] “This is the Death Star, “这里就是死星
[14:24] you’re in the death star, I run this star.” 你正身处此地 由我操控”
[14:27] “This is a star?” “这是个星球吗”
[14:28] “This is a fucking star, I run it, “这是个星球 由我掌管
[14:30] I’m your boss.” 我是你老大”
[14:31] “You’re Mr Stevens?” “你是史蒂文斯先生吗”
[14:36] “No, I’m… Who is Mr Stevens?” “不 我是… 谁是史蒂文斯先生”
[14:37] “He’s head of catering.” “他是餐饮领班”
[14:38] “I’m not head of catering. “我不是餐饮领班
[14:40] I am Vader, I can kill catering with a thought.” 我是维达 我动一个意念就能干掉餐饮”
[14:44] “What?” “什么啊”
[14:46] “I can kill you all, “我能干掉你们所有人
[14:47] I can kill me with a thought just fu… 只要动动意念 连我自己都能干掉
[14:49] I’ll get a tray, fuck it.” 我去拿个托盘 真烦”
[14:58] 喜剧无国界
[15:06] 巴黎
[15:07] My theory was, like a scientific theory, 我的理论和科学理论一样
[15:08] you have a theory and then see if you can prove it. 你有一套理论后 再看能否论证它
[15:11] Humour is human, it’s not national, 幽默是人的属性 与国家无关
[15:14] there is no French sense of humour, 不存在法国幽默
[15:15] there’s no British sense of humour, 英国幽默
[15:16] no American sense of humour, 美国幽默
[15:17] no Australian sense of humour, 澳大利亚幽默
[15:19] no Indian sense of humour. 印度幽默
[15:21] It can quite easily be proven. 这点很容易论证
[15:22] 英国六人喜剧团体 其作品影响深远
[15:22] Is the British sense of humour is a Python 英国幽默是指蒙提巨蟒
[15:24] or is it Jim Davidson? 还是吉姆·戴维森
[15:27] You tell me. 这得你告诉我
[15:28] Well, exactly. So it can’t be. 正是如此 不可能的事嘛
[15:30] There’s obviously a few different senses of humour 显而易见 幽默分好几种
[15:32] and I’m putting my money 我打算开始
[15:33] where my mouth is doing gigs in French. 用法语进行表演
[15:35] It all leads round to I thought I should do it in French, 我想我应该讲法语段子
[15:37] I should do it in German, which I did at school. 我该讲德语段子 我在学校里就讲过
[15:40] I want to do Russian, 我想讲俄语段子
[15:42] Arabic ’cause I was born in an Arabic country, 阿拉伯语段子 因为我生于阿拉伯国家
[15:45] Spanish, Mandarin’s right at the end of the list. 西班牙语段子 最后再讲个汉语段子
[15:47] I don’t know if I’ll get to all of them but I hopefully will. 我不知道能否讲完 不过希望如此
[15:50] 艾迪·伊扎德 《挣脱》 巡演法国站
[15:55] 艾迪·伊扎德
[15:57] [断续的法语]
[16:01] For fuck’s sake! 我了个去
[16:02] I can see why the French would like the show anyway 我明白为什么法国人喜欢这场巡演
[16:04] because… there’s a lot of philosophy in what you do. 因为你的段子里有很多哲理
[16:09] Yeah, it’s a humanists’ kind of show. 没错 是种人文主义的演出
[16:12] 我已断定上帝不存在
[16:15] 如果你信教 我很抱歉
[16:17] 根本没有上帝
[16:20] 我可以证明给你看
[16:23] 上帝啊 你在吗
[16:28] 我想你住在天上吧
[16:31] 而不是这里
[16:33] 我还认为上帝的声音很低沉
[16:41] 想象一下 “对 我是上帝”
[16:45] -您是宇宙之神吗 -是的
[16:50] 是的 我就住这儿
[16:55] So you were on the street before you were in the clubs? 在酒吧演出前 你都是在街上演出的吧
[16:57] Yeah, five years on the street. 是的 在街上待了五年
[17:00] Five years? 五年啊
[17:01] Yeah, four and a half, five years. 是的 四年半 五年
[17:03] That gives me…that gives me a huge edge. 那段经历让我受益匪浅
[17:06] Roberto! Eduardo! 罗伯托 爱德华多
[17:06] 《相信: 艾迪·伊扎德的故事》
[17:07] En Garde! 预备
[17:12] I thought it looked really easy. 这种表演易于欣赏
[17:13] It look Wonderful – you stand on a street, 观感很棒 你站在街上
[17:15] you do stuff, everyone laughs and laughs, they give you cash. 挥舞表演 观众哈哈大笑并慷慨解囊
[17:19] If you stay back there, 你要退后到那边的话
[17:20] we’re going to do the show here. 我们就在这边表演了
[17:22] It’s very hard to hold their attention 很难让观众注意力集中
[17:24] because they can do anything else – 因为他们可以做任何事
[17:25] there’s no walls, they didn’t pay there. 没有隔墙 他们也没花票钱
[17:27] They pay at the end if they pay and so you have to do stuff. 最终他们爱付不付 所以你得卖力表演
[17:31] Say, “We’re going to kill this kid”, 嚷道 “我们要杀了这小子”
[17:32] and then they laugh. 然后他们哈哈大笑
[17:33] The idea of killing the kid – it’s like Tom and Jerry. 杀人的想法同《猫和老鼠》如出一辙
[17:36] You can threaten massive violence 你可以威胁恐吓 使用暴力
[17:38] and they just laugh their socks off. 他们就会捧腹大笑
[17:39] It’s a really odd thing. 这挺奇怪的
[17:42] I ended up getting up on a huge unicycle 最后 我骑在独轮车上
[17:44] and trying to escape from a pair of manacles on a huge unicycle. 努力挣脱一副手铐
[17:46] My name is Eddie Izzard. 我叫艾迪·伊扎德
[17:47] It’s a rather strange name – it’s got two Zs in it. 这姓很奇怪 带了两个Z
[17:49] – Are you ready? – I certainly am, old chap. -准备好了吗 -准备好了 伙计
[17:51] 《相信: 艾迪·伊扎德的故事》
[17:53] Are you steady? 能稳住吗
[17:54] Yes. This is an enormous build-up, isn’t it? 能 这明显就是在吹牛
[17:56] -Go! -OK. -开始 -好的
[17:59] Five, four, three, two, one! 五 四 三 二 一
[18:04] I’d been in the comedy clubs 我当时在喜剧俱乐部表演
[18:06] and the stand-ups were revered 人们把单口表演看得很重
[18:08] and speciality acts like us were treated like, 像我们这样演杂耍的 在别人看来
[18:12] oh, you’re just the idiot who’s coming on in 就是给正经人
[18:14] between the people with the words. 串场用的傻子
[18:16] I just thought, I’ve got to be on that side of the fence. 我当时就想 我得加入他们的行列才行
[18:19] 咱们这儿是性爱大街
[18:25] 成人用品店 成人用品店
[18:26] 药店
[18:27] 成人用品店 成人用品店
[18:30] 药店
[18:32] 店员都是同一个人
[18:35] 有成人玩具没
[18:38] 然后去药店
[18:39] 还是他
[18:41] 有牙刷没
[18:45] 牙刷和成人玩具
[18:47] 实际上是一个东西
[18:52] 发挥一下想象力
[18:56] 我得好好学法语
[19:03] 法语课…
[19:07] 我想要…
[19:09] 我想让你今晚过来一下
[19:11] 这样…
[19:12] 早于…
[19:14] 前提是…
[19:17] 我得买个…
[19:22] 领带吗
[19:28] 虾
[19:34] You really do believe that comedy is universal, do you? 你觉得喜剧是无国界的 对吧
[19:38] That we can find a way 你觉得我们有办法
[19:39] of communicating with everyone? 同世界上每个人进行交流
[19:42] I’m really trying to formulate my philosophy on life, 我在尝试着总结自己的人生哲学
[19:45] my attitude towards life. So, melting pot? Great. 我对人生的态度 大熔炉 很好
[19:49] I think that’s a positive idea. 我觉得这是个好主意
[19:50] I think that’s the future for us. 我觉得这就是人类未来之所在
[19:52] I think Europe should be a massive Manhattan. 我觉得欧洲就应该和一个大曼哈顿一样
[19:53] The world should be a massive Manhattan – 世界也应该和一个大曼哈顿一样
[19:56] the idea of everyone working together, 大家在一起协作
[19:57] different languages, different skills. 语言不同 技能也不同
[20:00] It should touch, get through to progressive audiences 喜剧应该能与世界上每一位进步的观众
[20:03] all around the world. 进行沟通
[20:04] They’re out there and I can go and find them. 有这样的人 我可以找到他们
[20:06] 一美元一个笑话 笑果有保证
[20:06] 曼哈顿
[20:09] Can I tell you guys jokes? 能给你讲个笑话吗
[20:11] 母语
[20:11] Can I tell you jokes today, sir? 先生 我能给你讲个笑话吗
[20:13] These are good jokes. 都是好笑话
[20:14] Can I tell you jokes today, miss? 小姐 我能给你讲个笑话吗
[20:16] OK. Another day. 改天吧
[20:18] America invented stand-up,you know? 美国人发明了单口喜剧
[20:20] Stand-up and jazz are the two great 单口喜剧和爵士乐是美国
[20:22] American art forms of the 20th century. 于20世纪创造的两种伟大的艺术形式
[20:24] It’s theirs. 是他们的功劳
[20:26] Can I tell you guys jokes today? 能给你讲个笑话吗
[20:29] All right. 好吧
[20:32] American is the mother tongue of stand-up comedy for me, you know? 对我来说 美式英语就是单口喜剧的母语
[20:32] 杰克·迪
[20:35] And my…favourite, favourite comedians 我最喜欢的喜剧演员
[20:39] are from the American tradition. 都是秉承美国传统的大家
[20:41] I’ll do two jokes for 50 cents. 50美分两个笑话
[20:43] Have you got any 25 cent jokes? 你有25美分的笑话吗
[20:45] I’ll do one joke for 25 cents. 25美分一个笑话
[20:46] How about 12 cents? 12美分怎么样
[20:48] I won’t tell you any jokes for 12 cents. 只给12美分可不行
[20:50] – You can’t tell me a joke for 12 cents? – I can’t. -12美分一个笑话不行吗 -不行
[20:53] Office workers are always doing stand-up bits 办公室的职员在圣诞派对上
[20:55] 欧米德·吉亚李利
[20:55] at their Christmas parties. 总会讲些单口的段子
[20:56] It’s very much part of their… 这就是他们
[21:00] cultural upbringing. 文化传统的一部分
[21:02] Can I tell you jokes today, miss? Yeah? Come on over. 小姐 给你讲个笑话好吗 过来吧
[21:06] Did you see the Royal couple’s visiting a rodeo 你知道威廉王子夫妇到这次美国之行期间
[21:07] when they come to the US? 要去看牧马技术表演吗
[21:09] Mm-hmmm. 知道
[21:09] They don’t care about the show. 他们不是为了看表演的
[21:10] They’ve just never seen poor people in real life. 他们只不过是从来没见过穷人罢了
[21:14] It’s not a collaborative art, 这种艺术形式不是合作型的
[21:16] it’s very individualistic 而是个人特征明显
[21:17] 阿德里安·勒布郎
[21:17] 作家
[21:18] and I think that’s also why 正因如此
[21:20] it’s a very popular American form. 这种艺术形式才在美国格外风行
[21:23] The writer and the performer are the same person 段子的作者和表演者是同一个人
[21:26] and there’s no interference. 中间不受干扰
[21:28] It’s all yours and you stand or you fall on it. 完全是个人成果 成败自己承担
[21:30] It sort of has a little bit of that cowboy spirit in it, too. 其中也包含着一点牛仔精神
[21:37] The advantage of New York City is that there is 身在纽约的一大好处
[21:39] a lot of opportunity for stage time 就是有很多登台的机会
[21:41] and no comedian can become a comedian 如果没有宝贵的登台经验
[21:44] without access to those precious minutes on stage. 就做不成好的喜剧演员
[21:49] The comedians that come out of New York, 在纽约历练过的喜剧演员
[21:51] there’s a style, for sure. 自成一种风格
[21:52] 喜剧地窖
[21:54] You gotta deliver, you know? 必须得拼命
[21:55] You can’t mess around too much here. 不能在这里混日子
[21:56] It’s always innovative, it’s always moving forward, 要不停创新 不停前进
[22:00] it’s a little more aggressive. 这里的竞争更为残酷
[22:04] – Reservations? – Yes. -有预约吗 -有
[22:05] – What’s your name? – Gina Antoniello. -请问你叫什么名字 -吉娜·安托妮耶罗
[22:09] I hate the first spot. It’s awful. 我讨厌第一个上场 太恐怖了
[22:12] It’s the sacrificial lamb. 最先上场的最容易成为炮灰
[22:13] I spent a little bit too much time at Starbucks 我呆在星巴克的时间稍微有点长
[22:15] over the last five hours and it’s… 刚才那五个小时全泡在那儿了
[22:17] it’s fun over there. 那儿挺好玩的
[22:18] It’s fun. Like when you give your order 比如说 点咖啡的时候
[22:21] and sometimes they ask for your name. 他们会问你叫什么名字
[22:23] This morning, I gave them my Hebrew name. 今天早上 我用的是我的希伯来语名
[22:25] I was like,” I’ll have a decaff latte.” 我说 “给我来杯无咖啡因拿铁”
[22:26] “Sure, can I get your name?” “好的 您叫什么名字”
[22:28] “Yeah, Elazar Yaakov Ben Shlomo.” “伊拉沙·雅可布·本·施罗莫”
[22:33] She’s like, “Erm, do you have a nickname or something?” 她说 “你有绰号什么的没”
[22:39] “Well, my friends call me Jew bastard.” “我朋友都叫我’犹太混球'”
[22:45] “I’m not writing that on the cup, sir.” “我才不要把这个写在杯子上呢”
[22:50] “All right, fine. Then you could use my American Indian name, “那好 你可以用我的印第安名字
[22:53] Puts Nothing In Tip Jar.” ‘不给小费君'”
[22:58] A minute later, I hear, 一分钟后 有人喊
[22:59] “One decaff latte for a Jew bastard.” “犹太混球的无咖啡因拿铁”
[23:04] I love the notion of writing a joke and then going up 我喜欢那种写个笑话 然后
[23:05] 伊隆·古尔德
[23:08] and telling it and it’s just that immediate boom, boom, 上台讲出来 立即得到观众回应的感觉
[23:12] no notes from idiot network people 没有电视台的蠢蛋对你指手画脚
[23:15] and it was just like…there’s nothing like it! 这种感觉…实在太棒了
[23:18] Every accent has a weird relationship to one letter. 每种口音都总是和某个字母纠缠不清
[23:21] Like the Russians, the Russian accent, that’s the letter Y. 比如说俄国人 俄国口音 就是字母Y
[23:24] They take the letter Y and they put it between every other letter. 他们喜欢每隔一个字母就加个Y进去
[23:28] Take any sentence, like, “This traffic is unbelievable.” 比如说这个句子 “这交通真是难以想象”
[23:30] It’d be like, “This traffyic is unybelievyable! 他们说就是 “介交通金是黏以想象
[23:35] I canynot beliyeve yit! 金是黏以寄信”
[23:40] We’ve beeyn sitting here for fifteyen minyutes.” 我民丢席五分囧没挪地儿了”
[23:44] The Israeli accent, they take Ms and put it not between 以色列口音 就是在每两个字母
[23:47] every other letter between every other word. 和每两个单词之间加个M
[23:49] “M want M to M go M “M想M要M去M
[23:52] to M get M and M…” 拿M和M”
[23:55] What do you want, a bag of M and Ms? 你想买啥 MM豆吗
[23:56] What the hell are you talking about? 你到底想说啥
[23:59] Comedy, to me, feels like playing hooky from school. 对我来说 喜剧就像逃学一样
[23:59] 汤姆·帕帕
[24:02] You just…you can be funny. You can be the funny guy, 你可以很搞笑 可以做个搞笑的人
[24:05] the thing that’s different from all the straight stuff that’s going on. 同其余的普通人完全不同
[24:09] I’ve got my wife, I’ve got two little girls 我家有我老婆 我的两个女儿
[24:12] and two girl cats and me. 两只母猫 还有我
[24:18] Just like I dreamed of when I was a little boy. 就跟我童年时幻想的一样
[24:23] I used to sit alone at night and think to myself, 我小时候时常独自坐在夜里 想着
[24:25] I can’t wait till i get rid of all my friends 我真想快点摆脱现在这些朋友
[24:27] and just move into a house filled with girls. 搬进一个里面全是姑娘的屋子里住着
[24:31] Just a home filled with emotion 整个家里充满了情感
[24:33] and eye-flashing mood tantrums 还有时不时爆发的脾气
[24:36] and a hatred of everything I enjoy. 还有对我所热爱的一切的深恶痛绝
[24:44] It all comes from me and, you know, my life. 这些素材都来自于我自己 我的生活
[24:47] So every time… every place that I am 我待过的每个地方
[24:51] and everything that I’m going through, 我经历过的每件事
[24:53] it kind of reflects that, you know? 都会在其中有所呈现
[24:55] Now I’m in the middle of being a new parent 我刚做了父亲 又搬家到纽约来
[24:58] and living in New York City. 实在有些手足无措
[25:00] It’s scary when they have nightmares. 孩子们做噩梦时最恐怖了
[25:01] They come in, in the middle of the night 她们深更半夜跑进我屋里
[25:03] and stand at the foot of my bed. 站到我床脚边
[25:05] That’s terrifying. 这也太吓人了
[25:06] They want comforting things from their father, 她们想要爸爸的安慰
[25:08] like, “You’ll be OK, honey.” 比如说 “没事的 宝贝”
[25:10] But when you get woken up out of a dead sleep 但如果你睡得正香时 突然间醒来
[25:13] by a tiny,screaming, crying, shadow person, 眼前是个又哭又叫小影子
[25:17] your reaction is more like, “What are you?!” 你的第一反应一定是 “你是个啥”
[25:21] When you watch a really good comic and he’s just being… 看一名优秀喜剧演员的表演
[25:24] It seems like he’s just telling a story, 感觉就像他在讲故事一样
[25:26] he’s being natural and… 他会表现得很自然
[25:28] There’s jokes in there. There’s jokes in all of it. 故事里有笑料 故事里全是笑料
[25:31] Now she has two reasons to be afraid. 现在她有两件值得害怕的事了
[25:32] One, whatever weird dreams she had 一个就是她刚做的噩梦
[25:34] and now the giant man in his underpants 另一个就是眼前这个穿着内裤
[25:36] pinning her to the ground. 把她按在地上的巨人
[25:39] “Leave my family alone!” “离我家里人远点”
[25:42] Everything comes from stand-up. 从单口喜剧中可以收获很多
[25:43] 安东尼·杰森尼克
[25:44] Being a comedian is almost like getting your Bachelor’s degree. 做喜剧演员就像拿到了学士学位一样
[25:46] You can go off and do anything after that. 拿了学位 想干什么都可以
[25:49] A lot of people become writers. 很多人成了作家
[25:50] I’ve spent the past two years 我过去的两年
[25:51] looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer. 一直在寻找杀害我前女友的凶手
[25:56] But no-one will do it. 可惜没人愿意干这活
[26:00] My girlfriend now is great. 我现任女友可棒了
[26:02] My girlfriend now is awesome. 我现任女友超赞的
[26:03] If I had to nitpick, 硬要挑毛病的话
[26:05] I’d say sometimes she’s, like, a little bit too sensitive. 她就是有点过于敏感了
[26:09] Like the other day, she got her hair cut. 比方说 那天她去理了个发
[26:11] Got two inches trimmed off of her hair 剪短了五厘米
[26:15] and then came home and cried about it for two hours. 回家嚎啕大哭了两个小时
[26:20] Over a haircut. I couldn’t believe it. 就因为理了个发 我都不敢相信
[26:22] Finally, I went to her. I said, 最后 我跟她说
[26:23] “Baby, what are you so upset about? “宝贝 你干吗那么伤心
[26:26] It’s just a haircut. 你不过是理了个发而已
[26:28] I’m the one that’s got to find a new girlfriend.” 我才可怜 我还得再找个女朋友”
[26:34] I will work, you know, 我会花几个月的时间
[26:35] for months to find a joke about breast cancer. 想一个关于乳腺癌的笑话
[26:37] Something that I can make 要从这种可怕的东西中
[26:39] people laugh at that’s the worst thing imaginable. 发掘出能让观众发笑的笑料
[26:41] That’s the challenge. That’s when you get that great tension 这就是挑战所在 从这种巨大的
[26:44] when the laugh is just this guttural… 压力中释放出笑果来
[26:46] You don’t want to laugh at it but you have to. 你本来不想笑这种事 但就是忍不住
[26:49] Did you guys have a good father’s day last weekend? 你们上周末父亲节过得如何
[26:52] I enjoyed it. 我过得很不错
[26:53] My…my dad’s been having a hard time lately. 我老爸最近吃了不少苦
[26:56] Keeps on losing his keys, you know? 他老把钥匙弄丢
[26:58] Literally can’t hang on to a set of car keys to save his life. 真心的 连串车钥匙都保管不好
[27:01] And he’s tried everything, too. 什么方法他都试过了
[27:04] Little hook next to the door, little bowl next to his bed, 门边装个小勾子啊 床头放个小碗啊
[27:09] one of those key chains, makes a noise when you whistle. 还有那种钥匙链 你一吹口哨它就会响
[27:12] Nothing worked. 全都没用
[27:14] So finally this year, for father’s day, 所以 今年的父亲节
[27:17] the whole family chipped in and we put him in a home. 全家人凑钱 把他送到养老院去了
[27:25] When they killed Bin Laden, 本·拉登被杀后
[27:26] 吉姆·诺顿
[27:26] they found porn on his computers. 在他电脑里发现了黄片
[27:30] And I’m dying to know what he was watching. 我特别想知道他看什么呢
[27:35] ‘Cos I have to know if Bin Laden and I 因为我特想知道我们俩
[27:37] had any cross-over titles, 有没有什么共同的”藏品”
[27:41] which would either make me really creepy 如果有 要么我是个怪咖
[27:43] or him a little cooler than I thought he was. 要么他比我想象的要酷一些
[27:47] He was in that shitty apartment, he had no air conditioning, 他就缩在这么一个小破公寓里 没空调
[27:51] no cell phone, no internet connection, 没电话 没网络
[27:54] three wives, 23 children. 3个老婆 23个孩子
[27:58] You know who called the SEALs? 你知道是谁打电话给海豹突击队的吗
[28:00] He did. 他自己打的
[28:03] Yeah, I know where Bin Laden is. 没错 我知道本·拉登在哪儿
[28:06] He’s looking into a mirror crying again. 他又在对着镜子哭了
[28:10] He’s got three PMS-ing women at the same time. 他要同时应付三个经前综合症的女人
[28:13] I’ll give you the exact address. 我给你提供精确的地址
[28:15] Just promise to shoot wife number two first. 但你得保证先打死二号老婆
[28:24] It’s cathartic, in a way. 在一定意义上 这是一种净化
[28:26] You know, I think comedians, 我认为喜剧演员们
[28:27] they’re kinda like dialysis machines in a way for the culture, you know? 他们就像文化的透析机
[28:30] All of this stuff comes into them 他们吸收各种东西
[28:31] and they process it and they clean it up. 进行加工处理 将其净化
[28:34] And it’s going through their system and it comes out. 处理的结果通过他们的系统重新出现
[28:36] The blood is clean, it’s better, 血液得到了清理 变得更好了
[28:39] it’s stronger and healthier but it’s theirs. 更强壮 更健康 这是他们的心血
[28:50] 有话要说…
[28:54] 售票处
[28:56] 爱丁堡
[28:58] It’s funny – you can really tell 可好玩了 你能从人口普查中
[28:59] what a society thinks about the race issue based on their census. 看出一个社会是如何看待种族问题的
[29:04] So, look – this is the UK census. 所以 我们来看看英国的人口普查
[29:05] This is one of the first questions it keys in. 这是第一批问题之一
[29:08] How would you describe your national identity? 你怎样描述你的国家归属
[29:09] English, Welsh, Scottish, 英格兰 威尔士 苏格兰
[29:11] Northern Irish, British, Other. 北爱尔兰 英国 其他
[29:13] Well, first of all, this is just different types of white people. 首先 这些就是各种各样的白人
[29:17] Most of the planet is Other. 地球上大多数人都属于其他这一类
[29:18] What are you saying, UK? 你什么意思啊 英国
[29:19] This basically says, please be white, 这就是在说 求求你做白人好吗
[29:20] for the love of God and country, please be white. 看在上帝的分上 就当个白人吧
[29:23] The Queen would prefer it. 女王也会高兴的
[29:26] People call me political. 人们说我太政治化
[29:27] I certainly see agenda-based comedy, 我的喜剧的确有宣传的成分
[29:27] W·卡曼·贝尔
[29:29] which I feel like is what I really think of it as. 这里包含了我对喜剧本身的看法
[29:32] Comedy that has a agenda, 喜剧就是有宣传的因素
[29:33] they are trying to make a point 试图表达一种观点
[29:34] and they want you to think differently once you leave the room. 希望观众在离开的时候想法能有改变
[29:37] You don’t believe me? Look at the next question. 你们不信吗 来看下一题
[29:38] Please be white. 求你当白人吧
[29:40] English, Welsh, Scottish, 英格兰 威尔士 苏格兰
[29:42] Northern Irish, British, Irish, Gypsy 北爱尔兰 英国 爱尔兰 吉普赛
[29:43] or Irish traveller, any other white background, 爱尔兰旅行者 任何其他白种人背景
[29:45] please be white. 求你当白人吧
[29:47] You don’t believe me? Here’s the next question. 还不相信吗 这是下一个问题
[29:48] Are you at least mixed with white? 至少你总有点儿白人血统吧
[29:51] It would be the nice thing to do, 行行好吧
[29:53] just be mixed with a little bit of white. 你就稍微有一点白人血统不行吗
[29:55] Are you Asian? Black? 你是亚洲人吗 黑人
[29:58] This is my favourite – are you other or Arab? Ah! 这个最经典 你是其他人种或阿拉伯人吗
[30:02] Come on, UK! 有没有搞错 英国
[30:04] As obsessed as you are with Arab people, 你真的那么恨阿拉伯人吗
[30:06] you stick them in the Other under Other category. 竟然把他们塞到其他分类下的其他里面
[30:09] That’s fucking rude. 这也太他妈没礼貌了吧
[30:11] And I think America certainly has a proud tradition of that, 我认为美国在这方面拥有值得自豪的传统
[30:13] going back to Mort Sahl, Lenny Bruce, 从莫特·萨尔 莱尼·布鲁斯
[30:13] 均为美国早期喜剧大家
[30:16] through George Carlin, 到乔治·卡林
[30:18] So I think that there is a strong through line of that in American comedy. 我认为美国喜剧的发展历程很清晰
[30:24] Mort Sahl was a standard-bearer. He was… 莫特·萨尔是行业的标杆 他就是
[30:27] He carried the political banner and it was fearless, 他举起了政治大旗 毫无畏惧
[30:31] and would actually assail the President, 敢拿总统本人开玩笑
[30:35] which had a lot… 这实在是
[30:37] Very nervy, because I figured, well, 非常勇敢 因为我觉得这样一来
[30:39] the FBI will be camping 接下来的23年
[30:40] on his door for the next 23 years, you know? 联邦调查局都会派人在他门口守着
[30:43] When he was elected, President Kennedy, 当肯尼迪总统当选的时候
[30:43] 莫特·萨尔
[30:46] he didn’t promise us an easy road 他并没有保证让我们过轻松日子
[30:48] and he said he’s going to demand a lot of us. 他还说会向我们要求很多东西
[30:51] We didn’t always know what he meant, you know? 我们通常不懂他在说些什么
[30:54] But he’s usually ahead of us. 但其实他每次都想在我们前头了
[30:56] For instance, he knew that it would take a week to go to the moon 比如说 他知道五个人往返月球
[30:59] and come back with a five-man crew. 要花一个星期的时间
[31:01] Four men and a competitive woman. So… 四个男人和一个剽悍的女人 所以
[31:04] The audience back then didn’t know what stand-up comedy was either. 那时的观众还不知道何为单口喜剧
[31:07] They were really sort of letting the performers do whatever they did 他们就任由表演者随意发挥
[31:10] and not judging it by laughs per minute 也不用每分钟发笑的次数
[31:12] or by how many drinks were sold at the bar. 或者酒吧卖出多少饮料来评判
[31:15] Like, they were just sort of, like, they were sort of witnessing it. 感觉就像 他们目睹了单口的发展
[31:20] They weren’t coming from the tradition of stand-up 他们那会儿还没有像现在这样的
[31:22] as it currently existed. 单口喜剧的传统
[31:23] Lenny Bruce was one of the ones who actually made that transition. 莱尼·布鲁斯是改变这种情况的人之一
[31:26] He had been a jokey-joke teller 他笑话讲得好极了
[31:29] and was not getting any success or really having any fun doing that 但并未因此获得任何成功 或任何乐趣
[31:33] and he stepped over into the Mort Sahl tradition of, 随后 他沿袭了莫特·萨尔的传统
[31:35] like, I’m a person in the world who sees things. 以惊人的洞察力见长
[31:38] It becomes a lot more personal, 一切变得更个人化
[31:39] because you’re really talking 因为你实际上是在谈论
[31:41] about your specific perspective in your life. 你对生活的特定看法
[31:46] Are there any niggers here tonight? What did he say? 今晚在座的有黑鬼吗 他说什么
[31:50] Are there any niggers here tonight? 在座的有黑鬼吗
[31:52] Jesus Christ, he had to get that low for laughs? 天哪 他为了逗人笑真的那么下贱吗
[31:55] They told us what was heart-breaking 他们让我们知道生活中哪些事让人心痛
[31:59] and what was heart-breakingly funny out of life, you know? 哪些事会让人痛并快乐着
[32:02] So it’s a whole school of comedy, you know? 所以这是一整个喜剧流派
[32:07] The truth. 说真话
[32:10] There’s two nigger customers, 那儿有两个黑鬼客人
[32:11] and, uh… But between those three niggers sits one kyke. 但是那三个黑鬼中间有一个犹太佬
[32:14] Phew! Thank God for the kyke. 感谢上帝 还有个犹太佬
[32:16] That’s two kykes 一共是两个犹太佬
[32:18] and three niggers and one spic. 三个黑鬼 一个老西[西班牙裔]
[32:20] One spic. Two, three spics. 一个老西 两个 三个老西
[32:22] One mick. One mick, one spic, 一个爱尔兰鬼 一个爱尔兰鬼 一个老西
[32:24] one hic, fic, funky spunky boogey. 还有老南 老北 老东 真带劲儿啊
[32:28] They set us free. They were like Elvis – they set you free. 他们解放了我们 就像猫王那样给你自由
[32:33] They do a thing, that da-da-da-da-dun. You go, oh! 他们施展绝技 你就觉得豁然开朗
[32:38] It was a religious experience, that comedy had turned a corner, 那是一种宗教式的体验 喜剧转型了
[32:42] and it would never come back on the straight road again. 而且再也不会一条路走到黑
[32:45] 莱尼·布鲁斯 《亲自对你说》
[32:46] He was almost not a comedian, 他简直不像个喜剧演员
[32:47] Lenny Bruce, wasn’t he, you know? 莱尼·布鲁斯 不是吗
[32:49] He was like a lecturer. 他更像演说家
[32:50] I liked it when he said, 我最喜欢他的那一句
[32:51] “The world’s sick and I’m the doctor.” “世界都病了 我是医生”
[32:55] And there was a lovely album sleeve of him 还有一张特别棒的专辑海报
[32:57] having a picnic in a graveyard. 上面是他在墓地里野餐
[32:58] 莱尼·布鲁斯的病态幽默
[33:01] I always thought, “God I wish I was as brave as that”. 我总想 要是我也那么勇敢就好了
[33:05] Just the photograph, never mind, 单看那张照片 别的什么都不用管
[33:07] you hadn’t heard a word of the album yet 你都不知道专辑里讲了什么
[33:08] but there he was in the graveyard with his sandwiches. 但他已经在墓地里吃三明治了
[33:12] Ladies and gentleman, 女士们先生们
[33:13] here is the very shocking comedian, 接下来出场的是一位惊人的喜剧演员
[33:15] the most shocking comedian of our time, 我们的时代中最惊人的喜剧演员
[33:17] a young man who is sky rocketing to fame, 一位名声如日中天的年轻人
[33:18] Lenny Bruce here he is. 莱尼·布鲁斯 掌声欢迎
[33:28] 伊丽莎白·泰勒于27岁时改信犹太教
[33:28] Will Elizabeth Taylor become Bar Mitzvahed? 伊丽莎白·泰勒会接受犹太洗礼吗
[33:38] No I promise continuity. I’ll behave myself. 我可不想被哄下去 我会守规矩的
[33:41] He was brave. 他很勇敢
[33:42] Just to tackle religion in those days you know 在40年代末和50年代的时候
[33:47] in the late 40s and 50s that was very brave 敢拿宗教开玩笑 真是非常勇敢
[33:49] 莱尼·布鲁斯 旧金山现场秀
[33:50] and I was in San Francisco once and saw him and he was wonderful. 有一次我去旧金山看他的表演 真是精彩
[33:55] He said people, they wear a cross around their neck, 他说人们都在脖子上挂个十字架
[34:00] if it was a little later in society instead of the Romans, 如果耶稣不是在罗马时代被处决
[34:04] then Christ was… 而是再晚一些
[34:08] He said, I wonder if Christ was electrocuted? 他说 不知道耶稣会不会被推上电椅呢
[34:11] So on all these pointy buildings would there be an electric chair, 这样一来 教堂尖顶上是不是得放把电椅
[34:14] would people feel comfortable wearing a little electric chair round their neck? 人们会不会把小电椅挂在脖子上
[34:17] I mean that’s the kind of wonderful delicious mind 莱尼·布鲁斯就是有这样
[34:22] that Lenny Bruce had. 美妙的头脑
[34:24] 笑料工厂
[34:28] 聚光灯下…
[34:32] 喜剧小店
[34:33] You ever hate people so much 你会不会恨一个人恨到
[34:34] you wish you had herpes just to give it to ’em? 你希望自己能得疱疹 好传染给他
[34:37] 日落大道
[34:37] 洛杉矶
[34:39] I adopted a five year old Chinese girl – 我领养了一个5岁的中国小女孩
[34:41] yeah I needed help with my iPhone. 我需要她来帮我修iPhone
[34:44] Who invited all these bad bitches 谁邀请这帮臭女人
[34:49] to this wedding? 参加婚礼的
[34:53] I do. 我愿意
[34:53] 说话者本人是新郎 [译者注]
[34:59] In the 70s in LA there was a comedy explosion, 70年代 在洛杉矶出现了喜剧大爆发
[35:02] the Comedy Store was the place to be, 喜剧小店成了众人向往之处
[35:04] people like Jim Carrey, Robin Williams 包括金·凯瑞 罗宾·威廉姆斯
[35:04] 均为美国喜剧大家
[35:07] and then Richard Pryor hit the scene 和理查德·普莱尔都在那儿演出
[35:09] and they were explosive individuals who had no place to go 他们都是具有爆发力的人 只有在这里
[35:13] with their bodies and their minds. That was it. 才能真正地发光发热 就是这样
[35:16] 喜剧小店
[35:17] Please welcome Mr Jim Carrey. 欢迎金·凯瑞先生
[35:22] 喜剧小店
[35:23] I’m really thrilled to be here 来到这里我很激动
[35:24] because The Comedy Store is very special to me. 因为喜剧小店对我来说很特别
[35:26] When I was a teenager I used to watch people like 当我十几岁的时候 在电视里看到
[35:30] Richard Pryor and Robin Williams on television and think, 理查德·普莱尔和罗宾·威廉姆斯 我就想
[35:35] “I can do that”. “这玩意儿我也会演”
[35:38] But to actually come here and meet these people 但真正来到这儿 见到这些人
[35:42] is amazing you know. 还是棒极了
[35:45] I got a lawyer, 我请了个律师
[35:47] first week the motherfucker brought me a bill for $40,000. 第一周 这杂种就给我一张4万美元的账单
[35:49] 《日落大道现场秀》
[35:51] I said, “Motherfucker I just met you!” 我说 “狗杂种 我刚认识你啊”
[35:57] And lawyers they don’t get upset, right. 律师们从来不会激动 对吧
[35:59] “God damn it! Why…?” “见鬼了 为什么”
[36:01] “Don’t worry, “别担心
[36:04] everything will be alright.” 一切都会好起来的”
[36:07] “No but I want to know why you…?” “不 我想知道你为什么…”
[36:10] “Take it easy.” “放轻松”
[36:11] And you leave there feeling like a asshole. 你离开的时候觉得自己就是个混蛋
[36:14] You’ve been going, “What the fuck am I yelling about 心想 “我刚刚乱叫些什么
[36:16] they calm. 他们倒挺冷静
[36:17] I’m just facing 47 years.” 我还得去牢里蹲上47年”
[36:21] The big lesson of Richard Pryor that he really taught us 理查德·普莱尔教给我们最重要的事情是
[36:23] was how to be vulnerable on stage. 如何在舞台上显得脆弱
[36:25] I don’t think many comics have picked that up 很多喜剧演员都没能学到这一点
[36:28] cos I think that’s really scary. 因为他们觉得这样很恐怖
[36:31] Also 99.9 % of people don’t have any kind of biography 同时 99.9%的人都没经历过
[36:35] that Richard Pryor has, 理查德·普莱尔的遭遇
[36:36] nothing close to… 根本没法比
[36:38] I mean not that he was lucky to be raised in a whore house, 我倒不是说他有幸能在妓院长大
[36:42] I’m not saying that, 我不是这个意思
[36:43] but certainly that created a lot of material 但是他的确从他的经历中
[36:46] for him to bounce off of from stand-up comedy you know. 收获了很多对他的事业大有裨益的素材
[36:49] It’s nice to have pride about your shit. 人人都该为自己感到骄傲
[36:51] I went home to the motherland 我回了一趟非洲老家
[36:53] and everybody should go home to Africa, 大家都应该回家看看
[36:56] everybody, especially black people. 尤其是黑人
[36:59] Really, man, there is so much to see there for the eye 黑人在那里会收获视觉上
[37:02] and the heart of the black people, 和心灵上的震撼
[37:04] cos white people you go there and you get ideas, 因为当白人去的时候 他们只会想
[37:06] “That’s the way the black people in America should be, “美国的黑人就该这样
[37:08] walking around with sticks.” 拿着根棍子走来走去”
[37:11] He is able to speak the truth on stage in a way that 他能够在台上以不同于别人的方式
[37:14] 夏皮·柯桑迪
[37:15] I haven’t seen anyone else do. 道出事实
[37:18] Real innermost thought stuff 最真实最内心的想法
[37:20] and such utter compassion. 将怜悯之情表达得淋漓尽致
[37:25] 《日落大道现场秀》
[37:27] One thing I got of out of it was magic. 我在非洲学到了宝贵的一课
[37:28] I like to share with you. You know, it was like…… 我想跟你们分享一下
[37:30] I was leaving and I was sitting in a hotel 我坐在一家酒店里正准备离开
[37:33] and a voice said to me, 突然有人问我
[37:34] “Look around, what do you see?” “看看周围 你看到了什么”
[37:38] And I said I see all colours of people doing everything. 我说我看到各种肤色的人在忙活
[37:42] And a voice said, “Do you see any niggers?” 那个人说 “你有看到黑鬼吗”
[37:47] And I said, “No”. 我说 “没有”
[37:50] And he said, “You know why? 他回道 “知道为什么吗
[37:51] Cos there aren’t any.” 因为这里没有黑鬼”
[37:53] And it hit me like a shot, man. 那一刻我愣住了
[37:56] I started crying and shit, I was sitting there. 我失声痛哭 坐在原地
[37:58] I said, “Yeah, I’ve been here three weeks, 我说 “我在这里待了三个礼拜
[38:00] I haven’t even said it, I haven’t even thought it.” 我从未说过 从未想过这个问题”
[38:04] And it made me say. “Oh my God, I been wrong. 这件事让我明白 “天啊 我错了
[38:08] I been wrong, I got to regroup my shit”. 我错了 我得重新审视自己”
[38:11] I say “I ain’t never call another black man nigger”. 我说 “我再也不叫其他黑人黑鬼了”
[38:19] The fact that he had the self awareness 他有很强的自我意识
[38:21] and the thought to experience that 并且不断地尝试体验
[38:25] and then want to share that experience, 不断与观众分享他的体验经历
[38:28] that to me makes such a valuable comic. 我认为 正是这些才使他成为喜剧大家
[38:30] Someone who’s curious about bettering themselves 他不断地试图改善自我
[38:34] and learning something about themselves 不断地提升对自我的认识
[38:35] and is able to impart that knowledge to other people 并将其中感悟同他人分享
[38:38] is really quite an art form. 这是一种伟大的艺术形式
[38:41] Does it have to get a laugh? 一定要引人发笑吗
[38:44] If you’re Richard Pryor, 如果你是理查德·普莱尔
[38:45] not necessarily. 那就没必要只追求笑果了
[38:47] 突破…
[38:52] 洛杉矶即兴表演
[38:57] Next guest is a young comedian 下一位嘉宾十分年轻
[38:58] who is making his first appearance on the Tonight Show. 今晚是他第一次登上《今夜秀》的舞台
[38:58] 《今夜秀》为美国王牌深夜脱口秀节目
[39:00] He’s worked a lot of clubs 他曾在纽约和洛杉矶的
[39:01] both in New York Los Angeles. 多家俱乐部里工作过
[39:02] Would you welcome him please – Jerry Seinfeld. 掌声欢迎 杰瑞·宋飞
[39:07] 卡瑞·曼德巴赫
[39:07] In the 70s, the early 80s 在70年代和80年代早期
[39:09] Johnny Carson was the place to be. 约翰尼·卡森的节目是不二之选
[39:10] 《罗斯安家庭生活》 《考斯比秀》监制
[39:11] If you weren’t on the show you couldn’t get any exposure. 如果你不上他的节目 就没有露脸的机会
[39:14] On the other hand if you were 如果你上了他的节目
[39:15] you could break any act 就有出人头地的机会
[39:17] and it would be the most amazing experience for your career. 这也会成为你事业中最棒的一段经历
[39:20] Any drugs? Bingo you got me! 有毒品吗 好吧 被你看穿了
[39:21] 《今夜秀》
[39:25] If Carson liked you, you could tell. 你可以看出卡森是否中意你
[39:28] The camera would cut to him. 摄像机会对准他
[39:30] Jerry Seinfeld, thank you, Jerry, take a bow. 谢谢杰瑞·宋飞 鞠躬谢幕吧
[39:35] If Johnny endorsed you that meant that 如果约翰尼喜欢你 这就意味着
[39:37] the agenting community and the producing community knew – 经纪公司和制作商也看在眼里
[39:40] we watch the show, we were there and we noticed 我们看了节目 也注意到了你
[39:43] and there’d be a bit of a hustle around those people. 他们就会千方百计地来接近你
[39:46] Would you welcome please, Louie Anderson… 掌声有请 路易·安德森
[39:46] 现在分别为著名单口喜剧演员和著名深夜脱口秀主持
[39:49] Ellen Degeneres… 艾伦·德杰尼勒斯
[39:51] Gary is from Tucson Arizona. 盖里来自亚利桑那州的图森市
[39:54] Will you welcome Rich Hall? 欢迎里奇·霍尔
[39:56] If they were smart 如果他们够精明
[39:57] they had a manager at that time, 可能当时就已经有经纪人了
[39:59] but some of them didn’t, they were just raw. 但有些人是只身一人闯荡江湖
[40:01] She’s a housewife from Denver Colorado 她是一位来自科罗拉多州丹佛的家庭主妇
[40:04] who started appearing in a local nightclub 她于三四年前开始在丹佛的
[40:05] called the Comedy Works in Denver about three or four years ago 一家名为”喜剧工厂”的夜店里进行表演
[40:09] and she moved out here to Hollywood 然后搬到了好莱坞
[40:10] where she’s been working at The Comedy Store 之后一直在”喜剧小店”工作
[40:12] and this is her very first appearance 今天是她在第一次
[40:13] on national television. 在全国范围的电视上亮相
[40:15] Would you welcome Roseanne Barr? 掌声欢迎罗斯安·巴尔
[40:19] So I’m fat, I thought I’d point that out. 我很胖 我想这个很明显
[40:23] Roseanne was a stand-up, not terribly successful at that point, 罗斯安是名单口演员 当时还不是特别火
[40:28] about to break. 但突破就在眼前
[40:29] This is where you want ’em it’s like the wave. 这就是经纪人们争相追逐的对象
[40:31] Women we lie to men all the time you know. 女人一直在对男人说谎
[40:32] 《今夜秀》
[40:35] It’s not that we mean to or anything, 我们并非故意要说谎
[40:37] it’s just that it takes too long to explain the truth. 只是解释真相太浪费时间了
[40:42] And she was funny, she was like a domestic goddess, 她超级搞笑 就像家政女皇一样
[40:45] that was her character. 这就是她的风格
[40:48] Yeah so it’s like, “Oh you’re the best lover I ever had. 就比如说 “你真是我的完美情人
[40:51] It’s never been like this. 你让我欲死欲仙啊
[40:52] Stop stop you’re killing me” 停啊 停啊 我要爽死了”
[40:56] There were two things missing in American television. 当时的美国电视界缺失了两样东西
[40:58] There hadn’t been a female lead 自70年代的玛丽·泰勒·摩尔之后
[40:58] 七十年代著名喜剧女演员
[41:00] since Mary Tyler Moore in the 70s, 喜剧界就没有女性领军人物
[41:03] not one, so ten years go by and there’s not a female lead for ten years 十年中没有一位女性领军人物
[41:07] and then there were also no working class people. 也没有一位工薪阶层代表
[41:10] She came along just at the right time. 她简直就是应运而生
[41:12] She wasn’t an actress 尽管她不是演员
[41:13] but she did have something to say. 但她的确能传达出一种讯息
[41:15] I works every single God damn day. 我他妈的每天都得干活
[41:18] You can hear that as a sort of a monologue in everybody’s head 她道出了我们每个人的心声
[41:22] so the laughter of recognisability was ours for the taking. 所以 每个人都感同身受地发出微笑
[41:28] What’s the point here Roseanne? 罗斯安 你什么意思
[41:29] 《罗斯安家庭生活》
[41:33] There is no point OK? No point! 我的意思就是 没有意思
[41:42] The point is 我的意思是
[41:46] you think this is a magic kingdom 你以为四海之内皆你妈啊
[41:48] where you just sit up here on your throne. 坐在这儿一动不动当皇帝吗
[41:50] Oh yeah? 是吗
[41:50] Yeah. And you think everything gets done by some wonderful wizard. 是的 你觉得这些家务活都是巫师干的吗
[41:54] Oh, the laundry’s folded, the dinner’s on the table. 噗 衣服叠好了 噗 晚饭做好了
[41:57] You want me to fix dinner? 你想让我做晚饭是吧
[41:58] I’ll fix dinner, I’m fixing dinner! 那好 我这就做
[42:02] Oh, honey you just fixed dinner three years ago 宝贝儿 您老三年前就把晚饭做好啦
[42:09] That’s what stand-up does I think as well. 单口喜剧的功能就在于此
[42:11] It makes people 它让那些
[42:14] who would have been the side character centre stage. 非主流性格的人登上舞台成为焦点
[42:17] And so Roseanne it’s Roseanne, 《罗斯安家庭生活》中的罗斯安便是如此
[42:19] or the Cosby Show, 或者是《考斯比秀》
[42:19] 《考斯比秀》为美国八十年代著名情景喜剧
[42:20] Bill Cosby isn’t just the black guy on a show, 比尔·考斯比不仅是个普通的黑人
[42:23] he’s Bill Cosby, 而是比尔·考斯比
[42:25] and so it puts people, or it can, 它提供了一个平台
[42:27] if you take that opportunity and you’re really funny, 只要你抓住了机遇 并且足够搞笑
[42:30] you can be the centre of a world 你就可以成为焦点
[42:34] where you would have been a side person. 而不仅仅是个非主流的人物
[42:36] Just tell me you’re joking, aren’t you joking? 跟我说你在开玩笑 你在开玩笑吗
[42:36] 《在外婆家》
[42:38] Shh, just stop talking. 别说了
[42:40] He’s probably just joking. Is he? 他可能只是开玩笑 对吧
[42:43] Does he want a banana maybe? 他是想吃香蕉了吧
[42:45] Mum sit down hovering all the time. 妈妈 坐下吧 啰嗦个没完
[42:47] Mm, fine. I mustn’t hover. 好吧 我不啰嗦了
[42:49] No. 不
[42:50] 影射主演曾经主持过的电视节目《乐坛毒舌嗡嗡鸡》
[42:50] He says he’s quitting his show. 他说他不想主持那节目了
[42:52] 该节目以毒舌讽刺流行音乐人闻名
[42:52] I’m so tired, I don’t enjoy it anymore. 我好累 我主持得不开心
[42:55] But my Kalooki group. That’s all we talk about. 可是我和牌友们每天只聊你的节目
[42:59] I just feel like it’s become a really mean show. 我觉得那节目变得好恶毒
[43:01] I do not know who I am. 我都不认识我自己了
[43:02] You’re a presenter who takes the piss out of people, hello! 你就是个毒舌主持人嘛 你干的就是这个
[43:05] People congratulate me for being mean. 大家竟然鼓励我变得恶毒
[43:07] You’re not mean. You’re cheeky. 你才不恶毒 只是脸皮厚罢了
[43:10] People love it. 大家喜欢你的风格
[43:11] They do. 真的哦
[43:12] It’s not very Buddhist. 这有违佛祖教诲啊
[43:13] You’re not a Buddhist, 你又不是出家人
[43:14] you’re a cheeky TV presenter. 你是个厚脸皮的电视节目主持人
[43:16] At first I thought it was me about two years ago, 当时我是以两年前的自己为原型的
[43:18] so I could have a distance, 这样就能与角色保持距离
[43:20] and I’d think that guy was an idiot 觉得剧中的角色是个傻瓜
[43:22] and I now have a level of self awareness. 但现在我对自己有了更进一步的认识
[43:24] I’ve realised since that I’m still the same idiot. 我意识到我自始自终都那么傻
[43:27] It’s me but I’m not a stand-up comedian in the sitcom. 我始终是我 而不是剧中那个角色
[43:30] What is very truthful is that it’s all coming from 有一点是真的 那就是所有这些
[43:33] very real emotion and it’s coming from very truthful feelings. 都来源于最真实的情感和感受
[43:38] So part of the thing was learning about compassion. 学会同情是很重要的
[43:40] Oh we’re still talking about this. 我们怎么还在谈论这个
[43:41] – This is the thing now. Are you ready? – Yeah. -我要说了 你准备好了吗 -当然
[43:45] I forgive you for the divorce. 我原谅你离婚
[43:48] What? What are you forgiving me for? 什么 你原谅我什么
[43:50] It wasn’t your fault. 这不是你的错
[43:51] I know it wasn’t. 我知道不是我的错
[43:53] OK, and also I’d like you to forgive me 我也想让你原谅我
[43:56] for all the anger and resentment that I’ve been holding onto. 这些年来对你的愤怒和怨恨
[43:58] You don’t resent me. You’d better not resent me. 不要怨恨我 你最好不好怨恨我
[44:01] But you were just stupid kids. 但你当时只是个傻小孩
[44:03] Right is that it? Fine. 是这样吗 好吧
[44:04] No, where are you going? 不 你要去哪
[44:06] And you know it wasn’t your fault don’t you? 你知道这也不是你的错 对吧
[44:08] Oh yeah. 我知道
[44:08] It was your bastard father’s fault. 这都是你那个混蛋老爸的错
[44:10] Was it though? 是吗
[44:11] Yes! I didn’t go running off to Scotland every weekend 是的 我可没有每个周末都浪到苏格兰
[44:14] to go canoeing with a slut, did I? 和那个婊子划船 好吗
[44:16] OK, but we’re all human. 凡人皆有七情六欲嘛
[44:17] No we’re not. 才不是呢
[44:18] No? Nobody wants to be the bad guy. 不是吗 没人想做坏人
[44:20] Nobody thinks that they’re the baddie. 没有人会觉得自己是个混球
[44:22] Why do you think he was like that? 你为什么偏偏觉得他是个混蛋
[44:23] Oh I don’t know, maybe he just liked rowing. 或许他就是喜欢划船
[44:25] It comes from years of arguments and debate and problems 这来源于多年的争吵 争论
[44:30] and detachment. 还有隔阂
[44:33] It’s coming from a very real place 一切情节在现实生活中都有据可依
[44:35] although there’s a fictional… 虽然确有虚构成分
[44:37] We’re creating fictional stories. 故事情节是虚构的
[44:39] You realise your tax disc expired two days ago, sir? 你知道你的税牌两天前过期了吗 先生
[44:40] 《非我所愿》
[44:42] Did it yeah, I was going to sort that out this afternoon. 是吗 我本来打算下午去重新办一个的
[44:44] No you didn’t understand me. 不 你误会了
[44:46] Your tax disc expired two days ago. 你的税牌两天前过期了
[44:48] You’re committing an offence by having this vehicle on the road. 这辆车一上路就算违章
[44:50] I’ve always seen Rick, the character of Rick, 我一直觉得《非我所愿》里的
[44:52] in Lead Balloon as a kind of “What if” version of myself 里克这个角色是一个假想的自我
[44:58] and someone who lives with permanent disappointment 他永远生活在沮丧之中
[45:03] and permanent hope that things will get better 却一直期望一切都会变好
[45:07] and this sort of chronic cycle 他内心乐观
[45:10] of huge optimism which is constantly being dashed 但这种乐观却在现实生活中
[45:15] as soon as everything goes wrong for him again. 一次次遭到打击
[45:18] Get back to the matter. 接着说你的问题
[45:20] No come on what exactly is it you do? 不 咱说说你到底是干啥的
[45:21] I provide back up for police officers in situations… 我在紧急情况下为警官提供帮助
[45:25] Admit it, you wanted to be a policeman didn’t you? 你不就是个想当交警的交通协管吗
[45:27] With the blue lashing light and the ne-naw siren. 带着蓝色的协管灯和乱响的警报器
[45:32] Sir I would advise you to… 先生 我建议您去…
[45:34] Tell you what, why don’t you just potter off 你还是趁早滚蛋
[45:36] back to the fancy dress shop and ask for a refund 把你这身警服拿到服装店退了
[45:39] or change it for a wizard’s costume 或者干脆换套巫师服
[45:41] so people take you a bit more seriously? 这样大家才能把你当回事
[45:43] Can we please get back to the matter 先生 咱们还是谈谈
[45:45] of your car tax please, sir? 你车税的问题吧
[45:48] No. I don’t want to. Now what are you going to do? 我就不 偏不 你能咋地
[45:57] It sort of became much more 虽然剧情好像都在
[45:59] about someone else in the end. 描述其他人的生活
[46:01] But there’s a confessional thing in there that there’s in Rick 但里克这个角色中蕴含着一种自白式忏悔
[46:04] there’s is a character who actually, 这个角色
[46:07] when push comes to shove he’s actually not very talented 对于外界的变化感到力不从心
[46:11] and I suppose that’s a fear that that everyone lives with. 这种恐惧我觉得很多人都感同身受
[46:14] I certainly live with that fear. 我自己确实有这种恐惧
[46:18] Oh we have a comedian in our midst. 在座的有个人自称是喜剧演员啊
[46:22] Let me ask you what do you do for a living? 那我问你 你靠什么谋生
[46:25] I am a comedian. 我是个喜剧演员
[46:27] Very funny, but joking aside 很好笑 不过别开玩笑
[46:29] what’s your line of work? 你到底是做什么行当的
[46:30] No that’s what I do, I am a comedian. 就这行 我是个喜剧演员
[46:33] Listen sunshine. 听着 小哥
[46:34] We can do this the fun way 要么好好回答我的问题
[46:36] or I can make your day with me a misery. 要么就让你吃不了兜着走
[46:38] So what do you do for a job of work? 说吧 你到底是做什么工作的
[46:45] I’m a sales rep. I sell biscuits. 我是个推销员 卖饼干的
[46:49] Mm, that’s better. 这不就结了
[46:50] So when you’re driving around selling your biscuits… 当你开着车卖小饼干的时候
[46:56] I rarely remember a moment when stand-up 单口喜剧从未像现在这样
[46:58] both on TV and out there 无论是在电视上
[47:01] in all kinds of venues, large and small, 还是在大大小小的场馆里
[47:04] has been as popular as it is today. 都如此让观众喜闻乐见
[47:06] No, it’s huge. 确实如此
[47:07] There’s never been a time like this. 单口从未像今天这样辉煌过
[47:09] There was a point in the late 80s 80年代后期是有一段时间
[47:11] 英国喜剧节目
[47:11] when Friday Night Live, 当时《周五夜现场》
[47:13] 美国著名喜剧类综艺节目
[47:13] Saturday Night Live were happening that it seemed 和《周六夜现场》都十分红火
[47:18] it was incredibly exciting and fashionable, but it never… 那时的单口看起来也很酷很时尚
[47:21] It didn’t become the enormous thing that it is now. 但并没有像今天这样成为一种文化潮流
[47:24] It’s the way that we treat stand-up. 这同我们对待单口的方式有关
[47:26] 英国单口喜剧节目
[47:26] Live At The Apollo, which is a fantastic show, 《阿波罗现场秀》是一档超级棒的节目
[47:27] came along and just made it look like the most exciting thing 它把单口打造成了一种最令人激动的
[47:30] you could go and see. 艺术形式
[47:32] They didn’t try and make it look like rock and roll. 他们没有把单口包装得很摇滚
[47:34] They tried to make it look like showbiz. 而是突出了它浓厚的娱乐气息
[47:38] People with names in lights behind them and 霓虹灯拼出演员的名字
[47:41] a huge crowd and enormous swooping crane shots 观众爆满 配合各种镜头切换
[47:45] at the at the beginning to give you, 在演出一开始
[47:47] the television viewer a sense of, 就给电视机前的观众
[47:49] “Wow what a place to be”. 一种无与伦比的感受
[47:54] Thank you very much. 谢谢您的掌声
[47:56] 阿波罗现场秀
[47:58] I believe that London is currently living 伦敦现在好像被一种
[48:00] under an incredible climate of fear 相当恐怖的气氛笼罩着
[48:03] that it has never experienced before. 这在以前可没出现过
[48:06] Went into a sandwich shop the other day 那天我进了家三明治店
[48:09] and all I wanted was a crab salad sandwich. 我只是想买个蟹肉沙拉三明治
[48:12] The woman says, 那女店员跟我说
[48:14] “We’re all out of crab salad…I’m afraid”. “蟹肉沙拉三明治卖完了 恐怕是这样”
[48:14] “恐怕是这样”也可以理解为”我好害怕”
[48:19] I tend to think that all comedy on television 在我看来 所有的电视喜剧节目
[48:23] as far as stand-up goes 只要同单口有关
[48:24] 里奇·霍尔
[48:25] is just like walking into a room 都像一个人 走进一间屋子
[48:30] and passing out calling cards saying, 然后开始一边发放名片一边念叨
[48:32] “Come see me, come see me, “来看我的演出吧 来看我的演出吧
[48:34] Come see me in a crappy, sweaty room 来这个蹩脚的充满汗味的屋子看吧
[48:36] instead of on this box”. 别看电视了”
[48:39] Well as a dog returns to its vomit 就像改不了吃屎的狗
[48:39] BBC喜剧问答节目《QI》
[48:41] and a washed sow goes back to wallowing in the mud, 和洗完澡还要在泥里打滚的母猪一样
[48:44] let’s meet the team who can’t leave well alone. 掌声欢迎咱们这群本性难改的选手
[48:47] Jo Brand… 琼·布兰德
[48:51] Sean Lock… 肖恩·洛克
[48:54] Rich Hall… 里奇·霍尔
[48:57] and Alan Davies. 以及艾伦·戴维斯
[48:58] Thank you. 谢谢大家
[48:59] Joining me tonight are 今晚的六位参赛选手
[48:59] BBC喜剧问答节目《Mock the Week》
[49:00] six of the country’s top comedy performers 均为我国顶尖的喜剧演员
[49:02] Andy Parsons, Fred MacAulay, Russell Howard and 安迪·帕森斯 弗雷德·麦考利 拉塞尔·霍华德
[49:05] Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis 弗兰奇·波义尔 休·丹尼斯
[49:06] and Shappi Khorsandi. Welcome to the show. 以及夏皮·柯桑迪 欢迎你们
[49:11] The days where you could go, there was one show, 想当年我们只有一档喜剧节目
[49:13] 分别为英美两国的传奇脱口秀主持
[49:13] here Parkinson, there Johnny Carson, 英国的帕金森 美国的约翰尼·卡森
[49:15] that you go on this one show and then… 喜剧演员只能上这一个节目
[49:17] Those are gone. 现在不一样了
[49:19] Because it’s just the audiences are just so fragmented now 因为现在的观众群十分分散
[49:22] and you don’t get the water cooler moment of it, 大家看的东西都不一样
[49:24] but you do have the long term. 但露脸的机会比以前多了
[49:26] It will be repeated so often that there’s hardly an episode 有太多的喜剧节目轮番播出
[49:29] that hasn’t been on a million times at this stage 一集重播个成百上千次很正常
[49:31] and you will by attritional reasons alone 你就不停地参加电视喜剧节目
[49:35] get into people’s heads. 也能在观众中混个脸熟
[49:37] I don’t want to be a TV star. 我不想成为电视明星
[49:39] A lot of people do, they just want to be on TV, 很多人则不然 他们想上电视
[49:41] and if that’s the case, then don’t do stand-up, 如果你只是想上电视 千万别做单口这行
[49:44] because it’s really hard, you know? 因为这行实在太难了
[49:47] It’s great to do television 做电视节目感觉很棒
[49:49] because you feel like you’re doing a job that most people 因为你觉得自己在做一件
[49:53] in the world would want to be doing 让很多人艳羡的事
[49:55] and that is, that’s a nice feeling. 这确实 感觉很好
[49:58] But I like to think that the core is stand-up comedy 但核心还是单口喜剧本身
[50:01] and I’ve developed a weird relationship 而且我和单口喜剧之间
[50:04] with stand-up comedy 建立了一种奇妙的关系
[50:04] because I don’t do it enough, in my opinion, 因为在我来看 我做得还不够
[50:08] and although I love it, I have a guilt relationship, 虽然我热爱单口 却仍心中有愧
[50:10] it’s like phoning my mother, 就像打电话给我的母亲
[50:12] you know, were she alive, 如果她还在世的话
[50:13] I don’t feel I… I don’t feel I see my stand-up comedy enough. 就好像我对单口喜剧仍不够重视
[50:17] I don’t call her often enough, 我没有经常打电话给她
[50:19] I don’t give her the attention she deserves. 我没有给予她应得的重视
[50:21] And that is because I believe I kind of… 这是因为我觉得
[50:24] I owe, I owe stand-up, 我欠单口喜剧太多
[50:28] it all comes from stand-up. 所有的一切都拜单口喜剧所赐
[50:30] I’m a stand-up comedian who did telly, 我是个上了电视的单口演员
[50:33] I’m a stand-up comedian who wrote books, 也是个出了书的单口演员
[50:34] I’m a stand-up comedian who wrote a newspaper column, 我还是一个有报纸专栏的单口演员
[50:37] but always I’m a stand-up comedian. 但是归根结底我仍是个单口喜剧演员
[50:39] Every night, you’re trying to find the one time deal. 我每晚都想要把当天的演出变得独一无二
[50:41] Every night, you’re trying to find a room 每晚都期望自己能找到
[50:45] and an event that will never happen again, 一件独特的事 放到演出中
[50:46] and you want people to leave that room feeling like 这样观众离场时会觉得
[50:49] they’ve not seen a joke teller, 刚才表演的人不只是个讲笑话的
[50:51] but they’ve seen a comedian, 而是一位真正的喜剧演员
[50:52] they’ve seen something happen in that room 他们刚看完的那场表演
[50:54] that nobody else is going to see. 是独一无二的
[50:56] And that’s… that’s the quest, 这就是我们一直以来的追求
[50:59] and when it goes right, it’s the best. 一旦成功 便能登峰造极
[51:01] 好莱坞
[51:03] 独一无二
[51:21] 好莱坞露天剧场
[51:35] A piano is being played. 里面有人在弹钢琴
[51:37] – Monsieur Alan. – Oui. How are you doing? -艾伦先生 -是的 你好啊
[51:41] Good to see you. 很高兴见到你
[51:42] Do you speak English? 你会说英语么
[51:43] Oui, je… yeah, I can speak English. 我 我会说英语
[51:46] We were talking English before, 我们之前在巴黎见面时
[51:47] weren’t we, when we were in Paris? 说的不就是英语吗
[51:50] I just wonder, 是啊 我只不过在想
[51:51] after three months of that show, 你用法语表演了三个月
[51:53] whether or not you’re going to be able to cope with English. 现在还能不能用英语交流
[51:57] 英格兰南部城镇
[51:57] Yeah, well, I did, I did a warm up for this Hollywood Bowl, 当然能 我在贝克希尔演过一场
[52:00] wonderful venue in Bexhill-on-Sea. 就是给好莱坞露天剧场这场热身的
[52:03] Are you nervous? 紧张吗
[52:04] No, I find nerves really boring. 不 我觉得紧张是种无聊的感觉
[52:08] Some people say, “Oh, it’s good to be nervous,” 有人觉得 紧张是人之常情
[52:10] and I found that made me scared 可我却觉得这会令我恐惧
[52:12] and I don’t think comedy gets good places with fear. 恐惧对于喜剧表演来说可不是好事
[52:15] I’ve done that, you know – 我又不是没演过
[52:16] if I can do it in Paris, 如果我在巴黎都能演好
[52:18] surely I can do it in English. 用英语表演更是不在话下
[52:19] So what’s the difference in going from those tiny venues 你觉得在法国的那些小馆子里表演
[52:23] in France, from that tiny place to this, I mean… 和在这里表演有什么区别
[52:26] Do you have, is it the same shows in English? 段子都是一样的吗
[52:28] Yeah, same show and the trick is, no difference. 是的 段子是一样的 没有区别
[52:31] If anyone’s watching this 如果有人在看这个节目
[52:33] and heading towards arenas doing spoken word, 再去看看场上的表演
[52:36] just keep it that small, because the screens are that good 会觉得其实规模很小 因为这里屏幕很棒
[52:40] and the sound should be that good, 音效也很棒
[52:41] it picks it all up. Just do it small, just carry on. 就跟在法国的小馆里表演没什么区别
[52:44] Can we go up and see it empty, 我们能不能在观众进场之前
[52:46] – before we see it full? – Yeah, yeah. -先看看空的场馆 -当然
[52:48] Yeah, so, look, that’s… 你看 看这个
[52:51] – Oh, God! – You gotta see that, can you see that? -天哪 -你一定得看看这个
[52:54] 吉米·亨德里克斯: 传奇音乐人 以其吉他演奏闻名
[52:54] Amazing, Hendrix. 太酷了 是亨德里克斯
[52:57] – He was just very cool. – The Beatles, Hendrix… -他太酷了 -披头士 亨德里克斯
[52:59] There’s another, 还有呢
[53:00] I don’t know if you can see that, that’s a beautiful picture. 我觉得这张照片很漂亮 不知你意下如何
[53:02] That is beautiful, man, look at… 确实很漂亮 天呐 看看…
[53:05] 均为传奇歌手
[53:05] The Rolling Stones, Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Judy Garland, 滚石乐队 法兰克·辛纳屈 鲍勃·迪伦 朱迪·加兰
[53:09] 分别为传奇喜剧团体和歌手
[53:09] Monty Python, Stevie Wonder, The Beach Boys – 蒙提巨蟒 史蒂夫·旺达 海滩男孩
[53:14] the greats have all appeared here, 这些艺术大家都在这里演出过
[53:17] but never, it seems, a solo stand-up show. 但这里看起来真不像表演单口的场馆
[53:22] Not till now. 至少之前不像
[53:25] This is, this is beautiful, because that shape is perfect. 这里真的太美了 这形状近乎完美
[53:29] The arenas tend to go straight back 原来的那些场馆都是平铺型的
[53:31] and they feel cavernous, 给人感觉像个洞穴一样
[53:33] like an aircraft hangar, 或者放飞机的库房
[53:34] and this does not feel like that. 而这个就不会给大家这种感觉
[53:35] This actually feels quite intimate, isn’t it? 这里能容纳一万八千人
[53:37] Considering that you can fit 18,000 people in here. 但感觉上像是每个观众都触手可及一样
[53:40] Look, they’ve got tables and they’ve got flowers in there. 看啊 我们还给桌上摆上鲜花
[53:43] This is very polite, this bit. 看起来很高雅 这一块
[53:44] You must pay a lot more for those seats. 你花了不少钱吧
[53:46] Apparently so. Apparently so. 确实如此
[53:48] I can go a walk on that, there’s a walk bit round there, 那里还有穿插在观众席里的走道
[53:50] I can walk round there and do it all. 我可以在全场走来走去
[53:52] Oh, a bit of U2 and Stones 这有点U2乐队和滚石乐队
[53:55] and going off amongst the people. 在观众中表演的感觉
[53:56] Will you be doing that? 你会这么做吗
[53:57] I think I’ve got to go out there, I feel I should, and go, 我觉着我应该到观众里 然后说
[54:01] “There was an Englishman, “有个英格兰人
[54:02] there was an Irishman and a there was a Scottish man 一个爱尔兰人 一个苏格兰人
[54:03] And they went into a public house, ladies and gentlemen…” 然后 他们进了一家旅舍”
[54:07] You are amazing, though, you’re standing here 你真是太厉害了 能站在这里
[54:09] and in about another hour, 一个小时之内
[54:11] there’s going to be tens of thousands of people here 台下就会坐上上万名观众
[54:15] and you’re just looking… 你可以看到…
[54:17] Yeah, well, it’s fun, it’s… the more you do it, 很有意思 你的表演越精彩
[54:20] the more it’s like they’re coming to my house. 就会有越多的人来捧场
[54:22] This is the Bowl, 这里是露天剧场
[54:23] so this is the Bowl’s house, 这里是我的场子
[54:24] but you make… you’ve got to own the stage. 但是你要掌控这个舞台
[54:31] 好莱坞露天剧场
[54:44] I think this is stand-up in a theatrical 今天虽然表演的是单口
[54:46] setting with a rock’n’roll sensibility. 但这场馆很有摇滚风范
[54:49] I just keep pushing it into bigger spaces, 我一直想到这种大场馆来演
[54:52] cos my ego is a problem. 虚荣心作祟吧
[55:36] Hollywood Bowl! 好莱坞露天剧场的观众们
[55:42] Very, very sexy. 非常美妙
[55:43] I’ve got to say hello to this side, sorry. 抱歉 我要先向这边的观众问好
[55:44] Cos they started shouting through my microphone a bit too early. 因为他们早在我的话筒边嚷嚷开了
[55:47] In fact, I’m going to do this – da da da! 事实上 我想这么干
[55:50] One has to do this sometimes. 在这里一定要这么走一遭
[55:52] They built one. 他们造了条过道
[55:56] This is very sexy, 非常好
[56:00] this is the special seats. 这里是特等席
[56:02] I will probably be doing stuff over your heads, I’m sorry, guys. 我可能要居高临下了 同志们抱歉
[56:05] I’m not going to do this all the way along. 我不会一直在这儿转悠的
[56:07] Hang on, I can’t do this. 等等 等一下
[56:10] I might just do the gig this way, 我也可以面朝这边表演
[56:11] that’d be really freaky, wouldn’t it? 这样可就诡异了 是吧
[56:14] But… what one could do is just run to the back. 但是 我也可以跑到后排去
[56:28] What is he doing? 他在干什么
[56:43] We’ve lost him. 我们找不到他了
[56:46] He’s gone. 他消失了
[56:48] – This was not planned, I take it? – No. -在计划之外对吗 -我们毫不知情
[56:52] So he’s 200 feet.. Where is he? 他在60米之外的地方..他在哪里
[56:55] Oh, my God! 天啊
[56:56] Oh, there he is. 他在那里
[57:01] A mad man has rushed into the crowd. 像个疯子冲入了人群
[57:05] Now, this is… 现在 这里…
[57:08] If you’re thinking of playing at the Hollywood Bowl, 如果你们想在这儿里演出
[57:10] don’t do what I just did. 千万别学我人来疯
[57:14] We have a very special chair set up, 这里放了把特别的椅子
[57:16] this is how you get on at the Hollywood Bowl. 这是你上台的必经之路
[57:26] Motherfucker! 累死爹了
[57:29] Anyway, so, two men go into a pub and… 好了 两个男人走进一个酒吧…
[57:34] That’s quite an ice breaker, that. 这是一个打破僵局的老套路
[57:37] Now, I gotta do comedy, was that a good idea? 现在我要讲段子了 你们说好不好
[57:43] You people here, you are out of the box thinkers, 在座的观众都是富有创新思维的人
[57:46] because you’re here watching the show. 因为你们在这里看表演
[57:48] If not, you are lid thinkers, 还有那些没买票的人
[57:49] you’re nearly out of the box, 也挺不错的 还有希望
[57:50] but you’re on the lid, going, “How’s it going? 趴在墙边上往里看 “表演怎么样了
[57:53] 艾迪·伊扎德经常穿着女性服装表演
[57:53] Eddie, how’s the walking around in dresses, doing gigs? 艾迪 又穿着裙子出来说段子啦
[57:57] Hollywood Bowl? All right, that’s OK. 好莱坞露天剧场 很好嘛
[57:59] Maybe I’ll walk around in dresses and do the Hollywood Bowl.” 说不定我也能穿着裙子在那儿讲单口”
[58:06] Computers, they’re so fast now. 现在电脑发展速度太快了
[58:08] PC, more regimented, pretty similar, the computers – 个个都是标准面孔 大同小异
[58:12] PC computer, open it up, Apple Macintosh,open it up, 打开个人电脑 打开苹果机
[58:15] but portable computer. 便携式的那种
[58:16] Start it with a press button, start it with a press button. 单击这里开始 单击那里开始
[58:18] With a PC, you have to turn a handle to get the thing going. 个人电脑得一边摇把手一边用
[58:22] Apple Macintosh, more sexy, you can touch an Apple Macintosh 苹果机就更先进了 只要轻触屏幕
[58:24] and have sex and everyone’s fine. 就可以对着屏幕自撸了 没别人的事
[58:28] Then the colour changes – blue, blue, white, blue, blue, white, 然后指示灯变了 蓝蓝白蓝蓝白蓝白
[58:31] blue, white and it stops, and it says, 然后不闪了 跳出程序框
[58:33] “Hang on, you’ve gotta sign a new agreement with iTunes.” “等等 你要和iTunes签个新协议”
[58:34] iTunes: 用于管理在苹果商店购买的音乐和应用的软件
[58:39] Ladies and gentlemen of the Hollywood Bowl, 在座的女士们先生们啊
[58:40] I have signed four million, five hundred and sixty three thousand, 我已经和iTunes签了
[58:43] two hundred and twenty one agreements with iTunes 四百五十六万三千二百二十一次协议
[58:47] What the fuck do they want? 他们到底想作甚
[58:50] What do they want from us? 想从我们这里搞点什么
[58:52] And there’s the conditions there, 上面还有条款
[58:53] you have to read the terms and conditions 你要先读这些条条框框
[58:55] and there’s a little box there 然后会跳出一个小窗口
[58:56] “Have you read the terms and conditions?” “请问你是否已阅读条款”
[58:58] And when we tick the “Yes, I’ve read the terms and conditions,” 当我们选”是的 我已阅读上述条款”
[59:01] A little part of each of us dies. 我们又有一部分良心被狗吃了
[59:09] Because we are liars! 因为我们都是骗子
[59:13] You cannot control your children – “Don’t you lie to me! 你不能要求你小孩 “不许说谎
[59:16] You said you didn’t have a biscuit, 你说你没吃饼干
[59:17] you’re covered in crumbs, 但是你一身全是饼干屑
[59:18] you obviously had a biscuit.” 明明就是偷吃了”
[59:19] “You said you’d read the terms and conditions “你们还说自己读了那些条款呢
[59:23] a billion times.” 十亿次”
[59:27] The truth is, no-one here has ever read the terms and conditions, 可事实是 在座的没人读过那些条款
[59:33] no-one in Los Angeles has read the terms and conditions, 全洛杉矶没人读过那些条款
[59:37] no-one in America, no-one in Europe, no-one in the world, 全美国 全欧洲 全世界
[59:40] even God has not read the terms and conditions. 甚至上帝 都没读过那些条款
[59:44] If he exists. 如果真的有上帝
[59:47] And even the lawyers who wrote the terms and conditions didn’t read, 甚至写那些条款的律师也没有读过
[59:50] they just went like this, “I dunno, 他们是这样的 “我也不知道怎么写
[59:53] get some monkeys in to help, just put anything in there.” 随便蒙蒙人啦 只要填满就可以了”
[59:55] They just want stuff in there. 他们只想把那个框填满
[59:57] There could be anything in there. 那里什么都可能有
[59:58] “We take your buttocks and sell them to the Chinese.” “我们会把你的屁股卖给中国人”
[1:00:00] I accept! 我同意
[1:00:03] “We will set fire to your testicles and call you Mr Jimjams.” “我们会烧了你的小鸡鸡 叫你避孕先生”
[1:00:05] I accept! 我同意
[1:00:07] “We will run your buttocks over with a casting iron “我们会用生铁碾你的屁屁
[1:00:09] and then send you to Japan.” 然后把你卖到日本去”
[1:00:10] I accept, whatever! 我同意 随你便
[1:00:12] “Now you’re called Jean-Claude Van Damme.” “现在你就是尚格·云顿”
[1:00:12] 演员 肌肉猛男
[1:00:13] Jean-Claude Van Damme, OK! 尚格·云顿吗 无所谓
[1:00:15] There should be five boxes to tick – 应该要勾五个窗口
[1:00:17] “Have you read the terms and conditions?” “Of course not!” “你读过这些条款吗” “当然没有”
[1:00:20] There should be an 应该有这么个选项
[1:00:22] “Of course not. Are you mad?” “当然没有 你疯了吗”
[1:00:25] “Have you read half the terms and conditions?” “你读过半数条款吗”
[1:00:27] “No, no, no, not really.” “没有 还没”
[1:00:29] “Have you read one paragraph of the terms and conditions?” “你读过一段条款吗”
[1:00:32] “N-n-n-no!” “没 没有”
[1:00:34] “Have you read even one word of the terms and conditions?” “你读过条款中的任意一个字吗”
[1:00:38] Actually, as you said over there, no. “话说 还记得我刚说了啥吗 没有”
[1:00:42] “Have you NOT read the terms and conditions but you’re OK with that?” “你是否压根没读条款 但觉得无所谓”
[1:00:44] “Yes.” “对的”
[1:00:51] The Stone Age, ladies and gentlepuns, the Stone Age. 石器时代 女士们先生们
[1:00:54] Before the Stone Age, what the fuck did we do? 石器时代以前 我们到底干了些什么呢
[1:00:58] We must have beaten things to death. 我们一定杀过生
[1:01:00] That’s it, before the Stone Age, 就是那样 在石器时代以前
[1:01:01] we didn’t have tools, 我们没有工具
[1:01:02] we didn’t have arms, weapons, nothing, 我们没有武器装备 什么都没有
[1:01:04] just hands and feet. 只有我们的四肢
[1:01:05] I’ll have to kill him on my own, I’ll kill him on my own, 我就赤手空拳干掉它
[1:01:07] then I’ll be a big hero, 然后我就成了大英雄
[1:01:08] they’ll make me king, 人们就尊我为王了
[1:01:09] make me king of the tribe. 我就是部落首领
[1:01:10] Kill him on my own, OK. 赤手空拳干掉它 好的
[1:01:13] Let’s have a go. 来试一试吧
[1:01:14] Male or female bear? 公熊还是母熊
[1:01:17] Can’t tell, no matter, here we go. 不知道 无所谓 出发喽
[1:01:21] Oh, for fuck’s sake! Bloody stone! 尼玛好疼 这石头绊我
[1:01:31] That was the beginning of the Stone Age. 这就是石器时代的开始
[1:01:35] Think about it, think about it, 大家想一想 想一想
[1:01:36] that’s must have been how it started, 这一定是石器时代的开端
[1:01:38] stones have been there since the dawn of time. 自开天辟地 那块石头就有了
[1:01:42] Dinosaurs – too fucking stupid to pick up stones, 恐龙 它们太笨了不懂捡石块
[1:01:45] probably first three million years of us, 很有可能在头三百万年
[1:01:46] lots of humans going…and just carrying on. 许多人这样被跘了一跤也没感觉
[1:01:53] One person on their own, going, “Ah! Ah! Ah!” 他们当中的一个”哇哇”乱叫
[1:01:57] 青霉素的发现者
[1:01:57] The Alexander Fleming of stone, 亚历山大·弗莱明附身啊
[1:01:59] if you get that reference, which you win a cookie if you do. 你要能听懂我刚才那句话 就奖你一块饼干
[1:02:04] He discovered, um, penicillin. 他发现了青霉素
[1:02:08] And nitro-glycerine. And termites. I dunno. 还有丙三醇 还有白蚁 我也不清楚
[1:02:11] So, stones, stones, fucking hell, a stone, bad for my foot, 所以石头啊石头 可以跘我脚
[1:02:15] could be bad for the mammoth as well. 也可以砸猛犸巨象
[1:02:18] This could be the beginning of an Age. 这可能就是一个时代的开端
[1:02:26] Ah, good morning, good morning, good morning. 早上好 早上好
[1:02:28] Stuck in the swamp? Oh, it’s awful, isn’t it? Awful, yeah. 陷沼泽里了 太糟糕了 对不对
[1:02:30] I’m sorry, not much I can do, yeah. 抱歉 我爱莫能助
[1:02:32] Steve, I’m Steve, yeah. 史蒂夫 我是史蒂夫
[1:02:34] Your name? Mr Mammoth? OK. 你的名字 猛犸先生 好
[1:02:36] Is that an owl over…? 那里是不是一只猫头鹰啊
[1:02:41] It works, it works, it works! 真有作用啊
[1:02:44] What is it, Steve? 出啥事了 史蒂夫
[1:02:45] I’ve invented something. 我发明了某样东西
[1:02:46] – What? – This. -什么啊 -这个
[1:02:47] Ah, for fuck’s sake! 啊 去你妹的
[1:02:49] You killed a mammoth with that? With a stone? 你用石头杀了猛犸象吗 用石头
[1:02:52] This could be the beginning of an Age! 这开启了一个新时代
[1:02:55] Everyone’s saying that. 大家都这么说
[1:02:58] We’ve gotta give it a name, Steve, 咱们得给这时代取个名字 史蒂夫
[1:03:00] we gotta call it Something like he Age When Big Things Fall Over… 我们可以称其为”庞然大物摔倒时代”
[1:03:03] The Big Things Falling Over… 庞然大物摔倒…
[1:03:04] the Big Things Falling Over When Hit By Things Age. 庞然大物被石头扔死的时代
[1:03:07] The Age of things that… 什么时代呢
[1:03:09] we’ll get some people to work on this. 我们找些人来想一想吧
[1:03:12] I just thought Stone Age. 我刚刚想到石器时代
[1:03:13] Yeah, Stone Age could work, it’s very T-shirt, 石器时代可以啊 简洁明了
[1:03:15] I see T-shirt. 可以印在T恤衫上
[1:03:17] Fucking Stone Age, get with it, man! 石器时代 不错哎
[1:03:21] Turn on, switch off, it explodes. 打开 关掉 爆炸喽
[1:03:24] So the Stone Age began with stones 石器时代就这么开始了
[1:03:25] we can hit, we can scrape, 我们能用石头砸 用石头刮
[1:03:27] you could cut the skin off an animal that 能从动物身上把皮扒下来
[1:03:29] didn’t need it anymore, cos it was dead, or very nearly. 因为死掉的和快死的动物要皮也没啥用
[1:03:36] Just cutting your skin off cos I’m trying to make a cape, 把你的皮扒下来是因为我要做一条披肩
[1:03:39] cos I’m-I’m standing for election as King, you see… 因为我要参选国王了
[1:03:44] Don’t really have elections, it’s more of, you know… 其实也不是真的选举啦 就是…
[1:03:46] I’ve killed him, oh fuck it. 管它呢 反正都死了
[1:03:51] I’m just going to take a bit of your skin, all right? 我只是要一点你的皮毛 好不好
[1:03:53] All right, three, two, one! 好嘞 三二一
[1:03:56] It’s a mime, it’s a mime. Come on, Hollywood. 我在比划当时的情景啦 给点力好不好
[1:04:03] You’re as bad as Paris. 跟巴黎观众一样差劲
[1:04:12] So, humans made it to the moon, 人类登上了月球
[1:04:14] but will they make it to the end of the 21st century? 但他们能活到21世纪末吗
[1:04:16] It’s up to them. 这要取决于人类自己了
[1:04:18] That audience at the Hollywood Bowl that night, 取决于今晚在座的观众们
[1:04:20] those progressive people, 进步的观众们
[1:04:21] those out of the box thinkers, 富有创造力的观众们
[1:04:23] they have to do it, we have to do it together, 他们必须要做到 我们必须要齐心协力
[1:04:26] we, the out of the box thinkers and the giant squids of the world, 我们这些富有创造精神的人 与世界大亨们
[1:04:28] we need to do it, baby. 一切都靠我们了
[1:04:30] We need to do it. So, I hope we will. 我们要这么做 我希望我们能做到
[1:04:33] 诺斯战舰: 电影《异形》中的星际飞船
[1:04:33] Giant squid on the moon on the ship Nostromo, signing out. 月球上诺斯战舰的大乌贼 退场喽
[1:04:38] Thank you very much, Hollywood Bowl. 谢谢你们 好莱坞露天剧场的观众
[1:05:26] He was hilarious and I’m too exhausted, really, 他太好玩了 我笑得都快虚脱了
[1:05:29] to describe it. 难以形容
[1:05:31] You’ve attained critical mass when you, you perform here. 能在此演出已然是巨大成就
2011年

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