| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Do you know Chloe Brown Mueller | 你知道克洛伊·布朗·米勒 |
| [00:03] | is running for Fairfield County councilperson? | 要参选费尔菲尔德县议员吗 |
| [00:06] | I’ve been trying to think of a way to deface her lawn signs | 我一直在琢磨怎么把她竞选标牌上的字母 |
| [00:09] | by rearranging the letters in her name. | 改变一下顺序来羞辱她 |
| [00:11] | Cross out the “C” and the “H”, | 把克留下 |
| [00:13] | slip in an “S”, add an “R”. | 划掉”洛与依”改成”夫相” |
| [00:14] | It spells “loser”. | 就变成”克夫相”啦 |
| [00:15] | Ah. Sounds like a lot of work. | 感觉好麻烦啊 |
| [00:17] | I think I’ll just draw penises on them. | 我就往她竞选标牌上画鸡鸡吧 |
| [00:21] | Anna-Kat, how many times have I told you? | 安娜凯特 要我跟你说多少次 |
| [00:23] | Do not feed Hans Gruber from the table. | 不要喂它餐桌上的食物 |
| [00:25] | He’s only gaining 10 pounds a day. | 它每天只长9斤肉 |
| [00:27] | He’s wasting away to nothing! | 它都要瘦没了 |
| [00:29] | Hans, go! | 汉斯 走开 |
| [00:33] | Oliver, dinner table — now. | 奥利弗 现在就来吃饭 |
| [00:35] | I’m waiting for my Mandarin grade to post. | 我在等着我的中文课成绩呢 |
| [00:37] | Why are you so worked up about this grade? | 为什么你对成绩这么上心 |
| [00:39] | You always get straight A’s. | 你不是总得全优吗 |
| [00:41] | I know I do, but Jeremy Fleisher’s | 是啊 但杰里米·弗莱舍 |
| [00:43] | gonna obliterate the curve in my Mandarin class. | 会大大影响我中文课班级的分数曲线 |
| [00:45] | How do you know that? | 何以见得 |
| [00:46] | His parents just brought him | 他父母圣诞节 |
| [00:47] | a 12-year-old from China for Christmas. | 给他弄了一个12岁的中国男孩 |
| [00:49] | His parents brought him a 12-year-old human being? | 他父母给他买了12岁的人类吗 |
| [00:52] | No, it’s a foreign exchange program. | 不是 是对外交流计划的孩子 |
| [00:54] | They’re supposed to teach the kid English, | 本来应该是他家教那孩子英语 |
| [00:56] | but instead, they make him tutor Jeremy in Mandarin. | 但他们反过来 要那个孩子教杰里米中文 |
| [01:00] | – Could I please have more… – Unh-unh-unh! You know the rules. | -我能再要一点… -这样不行 你懂规矩的 |
| [01:12] | Grades are in. | 分数来了 |
| [01:17] | I got a B-plus?! | 我只得到了B+吗 |
| [01:18] | My life is ruined! | 我这辈子毁了 |
| [01:20] | Ruined! | 彻底毁啦 |
| [01:21] | A B-plus is great. | B+不错啦 |
| [01:22] | Of course you think a B-plus is great — | 你当然觉得B+不错啦 |
| [01:23] | ’cause your life is a C-minus! | 你的人生也就是个C- |
| [01:26] | Calm…down! | 给老娘冷静下来 |
| [01:29] | You’re in eighth grade. Eighth grade doesn’t count. | 你才8年级 8年级的成绩不算数 |
| [01:32] | It all counts! It all counts! | 都算数 所有成绩都算数 |
| [01:34] | He’s really worked up. | 他真的很激动啊 |
| [01:35] | He’s doing that thing where he repeats everything. | 他开始发作 一句话说两遍了 |
| [01:37] | Honey, let me give you some perspective. | 亲爱的 让我给你分析一下 |
| [01:38] | Take your father and me. | 就拿你爸爸跟我来说 |
| [01:39] | He was obsessed with grades. | 他当年也对分数很执着 |
| [01:42] | Me — I didn’t worry so much and just enjoyed my life. | 而我成绩从不放心上 尽情享受人生 |
| [01:46] | Guess what. | 你猜怎么着 |
| [01:47] | We wound up in the same place — | 我们最后还是沦落到同一个地方 |
| [01:49] | same house. | 同一屋檐下 |
| [01:51] | Actually, I’m doing a little better | 其实我混得还比他好 |
| [01:52] | because I don’t have to go to work. | 毕竟老娘不用去工作 |
| [01:54] | And you don’t have to wear real pants if you don’t want to. | 而且如果你不想 就可以不穿真正的裤子 |
| [01:56] | And I don’t have to wear real pants if I don’t want to! | 而且我不想就可以不穿真正的裤子 |
| [01:59] | I’m on a track, and it starts here. | 这里是我人生康庄大道的起点 |
| [02:01] | I have to become valedictorian, | 我必须得成为最优秀毕业生代表 |
| [02:02] | then it goes Harvard, Wharton, Goldman Sachs, | 然后去哈佛大学 沃顿商学院 高盛投资公司 |
| [02:05] | then a remodel in the Hamptons | 然后我的第二任娇妻 |
| [02:07] | that my second wife can busy herself with. | 就会忙着装修我在富人度假区的别墅 |
| [02:09] | I’m probably gonna like your first wife. | 我估计会比较喜欢你第一任妻子 |
| [02:11] | Don’t be mad when I maintain a relationship with her. | 你们离婚后我跟她保持联系可别怨我 |
| [02:16] | He puts way too much pressure on himself. | 他给自己添加太大的压力了 |
| [02:17] | I know. This is getting out of hand. | 对啊 有点失控了 |
| [02:19] | Do you think he should talk to somebody? | 你觉得该找人去跟他谈谈吗 |
| [02:21] | He’s not listening to us. | 他也不听我们说 |
| [02:22] | Someone to give him a little perspective. | 找个能给他点真知灼见的人 |
| [02:23] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [02:24] | And I think I know just the person. | 我知道谁是最适合的人选 |
| [02:27] | I don’t even know why I’m here. | 我都不知道我为什么要来这里 |
| [02:29] | You’re here because you need my help. | 你来是因为你需要我的帮助 |
| [02:31] | You need to learn how to take your mind off of school. | 你得学会怎么让自己从学业上放松 |
| [02:33] | I saw this YouTube video about this girl | 我在网上看过一个视频 |
| [02:35] | who was really driven, like you, | 是一个跟你一样很有干劲的姑娘 |
| [02:37] | and she eventually cracked up and got Auto-Tuned into a song. | 她最后崩溃了 还被人改了首洗脑歌 |
| [02:40] | The song is really funny | 那首歌超好笑呢 |
| [02:41] | if you forget that she’s dead inside. | 只要你不去想这女的已经疯了 |
| [02:43] | Okay, dumb Yoda, | 行吧 白痴版读心术大师 |
| [02:45] | what advice do you have for me? | 那你有什么建议可以给我 |
| [02:46] | Start binge-watching something. It’ll help turn your brain off. | 开始疯狂看剧 能让你的脑子停止运转 |
| [02:49] | Easier for you, ’cause yours was never on. | 对你来说当然简单 你脑子就没运转过 |
| [02:51] | You should listen to me. | 你应该听我的话 |
| [02:53] | Watch a dozen seasons of “Grey’s Anatomy” in a row. | 一次看个几季的”实习医生格蕾” |
| [02:56] | You’re not gonna care if you get into Harvard or not | 看了以后 你才不会在意上没上哈佛 |
| [02:57] | once you’ve seen a bomb | 毕竟你可是连 |
| [02:58] | get pulled out of a body for the fourth time. | 从人体里取出炸弹都看过好几次的人 |
| [03:00] | Hey, I am going to Harvard! | 我一定会上哈佛 |
| [03:02] | I even practice that phony evasive thing | 我甚至都已经练习了假谦虚 |
| [03:04] | where I tell people I go to college in Boston. | 跟别人说我在波士顿读大学的招数 |
| [03:07] | “Oh. B.U.?” | “你是在波士顿大学读书吗” |
| [03:09] | “No — Harvard”. | “不是 是在哈佛大学” |
| [03:18] | Ni ai wo ma. | 你爱我吗 |
| [03:20] | Ni ai wo ma. | 你爱我吗 |
| [03:23] | – Ni ai wo ma. – Ni ai wo ma. | -你爱我吗 -你爱我吗 |
| [03:27] | Ni ai wo ma. | 你爱我吗 |
| [03:28] | Oliver, why aren’t you in bed? | 奥利弗 你为什么不睡觉 |
| [03:30] | I’m practicing my Mandarin. | 我在练习中文 |
| [03:31] | I’m using Taylor’s stolen Netflix password | 我用泰勒偷来的在线网站密码 |
| [03:33] | to watch a Chinese soap opera. | 在看中文肥皂剧 |
| [03:35] | It’s 2:30 in the morning. You need to get some sleep. | 都半夜2点半了 你不睡觉怎么行 |
| [03:38] | You keep this up, you’ll burn out before high school ends | 你这么搞 你高中毕业前就会倦怠 |
| [03:40] | and end up at some safety school. | 之后就只能去你的保底学校 |
| [03:42] | I’m not going to Cornell! | 我才不去康奈尔[顶级名校] |
| [03:44] | Come on! | 给我起来 |
| [03:49] | Bed. | 去睡觉 |
| [03:53] | That sounded a little like “Go yourself”. | 听起来感觉有点像”去你的”啊 |
| [04:01] | I’m worried about Oliver. | 我好担心奥利弗 |
| [04:03] | He’s obsessed with his grades and not enjoying his life. | 他把分数看得好重 搞得生活都不开心 |
| [04:06] | He wants to go to SAT camp this summer. | 他暑假还想去上高考冲刺营 |
| [04:08] | Can you believe that’s a thing? | 你敢信居然有这种东西吗 |
| [04:09] | Oh, yeah — I lied about my kids’ ages | 知道啊 我谎报了我孩子的年纪 |
| [04:11] | so they could start when they were 6. | 让他们在6岁的时候就进去了 |
| [04:12] | They have no fun activities — just studying. | 里面没有任何娱乐活动 只有学习 |
| [04:14] | Oh, and I checked the box saying they could hit them. | 我还勾选了同意老师体罚选项 |
| [04:17] | Ugh. Remember when we thought having that baby would soften you up? | 还记得当年我们觉得生孩子会让你心软吗 |
| [04:22] | We were so stupid. | 我们可真傻啊 |
| [04:26] | Hello, ladies! | 姑娘们好啊 |
| [04:27] | Be very still. Her vision is based on movement. | 千万别动 毒蛇看不到静止的生物 |
| [04:33] | You are so funny! | 您可真会说笑 |
| [04:35] | Hey, would you mind putting one of my campaign signs | 你介意把我的竞选标牌插到你家 |
| [04:38] | in your teeny, tiny yard? | 迷你袖珍的前院草地上吗 |
| [04:39] | Why would you want your sign in my yard? | 你为啥会想插你的标牌在我家草坪 |
| [04:42] | All you ever do is insult my house. | 你从来没说过我家一句好话 |
| [04:44] | That was just playfully joking around! | 那只是跟你嬉闹开玩笑嘛 |
| [04:47] | Right, Maria? | 对吧 玛丽亚 |
| [04:47] | Tell Katie I’m funny and I like to joke around. | 跟凯蒂说我很搞笑 就喜欢跟人开玩笑 |
| [04:50] | You’re funny. | 你很搞笑 |
| [04:51] | And I like to joke around! | 还有我喜欢跟人开玩笑 |
| [04:53] | She likes to joke around. | 她喜欢跟人开玩笑 |
| [04:55] | Okay. Seriously, Maria? | 天啊 你不是吧 玛丽亚 |
| [04:56] | I pay you $7.45 an hour, plus Obamacare | 我付给你7.45美金的时薪与医保 |
| [04:59] | to be more convincing than that. | 难道是为了这点三流的演技吗 |
| [05:01] | Okay, truth time — | 好了 掏心窝子 |
| [05:03] | Fairfield County is bigger than just Westport, | 费尔菲尔德县可不止有西港 |
| [05:06] | so if I’m gonna win this thing, | 如果我想赢 |
| [05:07] | I need to appeal to the poors. | 我就得拿到穷人的票 |
| [05:09] | Ugh. I’d put one in Maria’s yard, | 我也想放一个在玛丽亚家的前院 |
| [05:11] | but she doesn’t have one, ’cause she lives in a condo… | 可是她家没有 因为她住公寓 |
| [05:14] | …with her parents! | 还是跟她爸妈同住 |
| [05:16] | My mother is very sick. | 我妈妈生了重病 |
| [05:18] | Oh, sick of you! | 见到你就烦的病吗 |
| [05:19] | Up top. | 击个掌 |
| [05:21] | No, you missed it. You missed it. | 晚了 你错过了 错过时机了 |
| [05:23] | I’m not putting your stupid sign in my yard. | 我才不要在我家前院插你的傻逼标牌 |
| [05:25] | And tell your husband to return my husband’s phone calls. | 并请提醒你老公记得回我老公电话 |
| [05:27] | Oh, well, Stan’s out of the country, | 斯坦不在国内 |
| [05:29] | so I will pass the message along. | 我会帮你传话的 |
| [05:32] | Aah! So hot! | 好烫 |
| [05:33] | Oh! Zip it, Maria! Okay? You’re making a scene! | 闭嘴啦 玛丽亚 要不要这么戏精 |
| [05:36] | Go! | 滚 |
| [05:40] | Nicely played — | 高招 |
| [05:41] | sticking it to Chloe Brown Mueller | 直接对克洛伊·布朗·米勒 |
| [05:43] | with a Stan question. | 打了一张斯坦牌 |
| [05:44] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [05:45] | You haven’t heard? Stan took off. | 你还没听说吗 斯坦离家出走了 |
| [05:47] | Yeah. He went to Nepal to find himself. | 他跑去尼泊尔发掘自我 |
| [05:49] | He’s drinking yak butter tea | 喝着牦牛酥茶 |
| [05:51] | and deciding on which god to pray to. | 考虑该拜哪个神 |
| [05:52] | He had a huge midlife crisis and snapped. | 他出现中年危机然后理智线就断了 |
| [05:55] | That’s why Chloe’s running for office. | 这就是为什么克洛伊要出来参选 |
| [05:56] | She’s putting on a big show, | 所以才要演这出大戏 |
| [05:57] | pretending they’re both “Doing their own thing”. | 假装两个人都在”各自忙自己的事业” |
| [06:00] | Oh, it’s so sad… | 可怜… |
| [06:01] | that I didn’t know that. | 的我啊 居然都不知道 |
| [06:03] | I would’ve enjoyed it more. | 不然我刚才一定会更享受 |
| [06:06] | Stan’s a perfect example of someone who pushed himself, | 斯坦就是个标准的汲汲营营一生 |
| [06:08] | went to all the right schools, got a high-powered job, | 去了所有想去的名校 得到了位高权重的工作 |
| [06:10] | then wakes up and realizes he got everything he wanted | 结果有天醒来 发现自己目标都实现 |
| [06:13] | but hated his whole life. | 却痛恨这一生的例子 |
| [06:14] | Oh, my God. Oliver is on that same path. | 天啊 奥利弗也在这条路上 |
| [06:18] | How do I stop my son from growing up | 我该怎么不让我儿子长大后 |
| [06:20] | and having a midlife crisis? | 某天出现中年危机呢 |
| [06:22] | You get ahead of it. Give him a midlife crisis now. | 抢先一步 现在就让他有中年危机 |
| [06:24] | Or… | 或者… |
| [06:26] | check this box, and I could smack him around for you. | 勾选这个同意选项 我来帮你打醒他 |
| [06:30] | Come on. | 来嘛 |
| [06:33] | Boom! | 砰 |
| [06:39] | Whatever it is, I don’t have time. | 无论是啥事 我都没空 |
| [06:41] | I’m studying. | 我在读书 |
| [06:42] | Well, get it out of your system now, | 赶紧学个够 |
| [06:44] | because tomorrow we’re moving up your midlife crisis, | 因为明天开始我们要让你提前中年危机 |
| [06:47] | and that begins with ditching school. | 这一切将会从逃学开始 |
| [06:49] | I can’t ditch school! | 我不能逃学 |
| [06:51] | My science notebook review is tomorrow and — | 我明天有科学课笔记评分… |
| [06:52] | Hey! I’m your mother. | 我是你妈 |
| [06:54] | And when I say, “You’re ditching school”, | 当我跟你说”明天你逃学” |
| [06:56] | you’re ditching school. | 你就得给老娘逃学 |
| [06:57] | But if I get caught, it could go on my permanent record. | 但如果我被抓到 这会留下永久记录 |
| [06:59] | There’s no such thing. | 那玩意根本不存在 |
| [07:00] | Now, stop studying and watch “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” | 别读书了 今晚先先去看电影 |
| [07:02] | tonight for inspiration. | “春天不是读书天”来激励自己 |
| [07:04] | Can I watch it in Mandarin? | 我能看中文配音版吗 |
| [07:05] | Nyet! | 不 |
| [07:06] | That’s Russian. | 你说的是俄语 |
| [07:07] | Shut up, smarty-pants. | 闭嘴 装逼仔 |
| [07:12] | I need an extra treat to bring for Franklin. | 我需要带多一份零食给富兰克林 |
| [07:15] | He’d never tasted sugar before he met me. | 他在认识我之前从没吃过糖呢 |
| [07:17] | Do you think maybe Franklin’s parents | 你有没想过或许富兰克林的父母 |
| [07:19] | don’t want him eating candy? | 不想让他吃糖呢 |
| [07:20] | Yeah, I get that. | 是啊 我懂 |
| [07:21] | He gets all amped up, and then it’s all | 他一吃糖就发癫 然后就是不停 |
| [07:23] | “Blah, blah, blah” about his diabetes. | 碎碎念他的糖尿病 |
| [07:25] | New rule — no feeding Franklin sugar. | 新规矩 再也不许给富兰克林吃糖 |
| [07:28] | Hey, would either of you be interested | 你们有人有兴趣 |
| [07:30] | in going to a stamp unveiling at the library? | 去图书馆举行的邮票公布会吗 |
| [07:32] | – Not it! – Not it! | -没有 -没有 |
| [07:33] | How about if I told you | 那如果我告诉你们 |
| [07:34] | it’s a rare banana stamp that’s a misprint? | 是一款罕见的错印香蕉邮票呢 |
| [07:36] | Turns out it’s a plantain. | 本来应该是款芭蕉 |
| [07:38] | – Not it! – Not it! | -没兴趣 -没兴趣 |
| [07:39] | Don’t you have a friend you can go with? | 你没有可以陪你一起去的朋友吗 |
| [07:40] | Not really — not since Stan left. | 没有 斯坦走了之后就没了 |
| [07:42] | So find someone else. | 找别人啊 |
| [07:44] | It’s not easy making friends once you get older. | 年纪大了之后交朋友就没那么容易了 |
| [07:45] | I tried this Adult Friend Finder website. | 我试了一个成人交友网站 |
| [07:47] | It was not what I thought it was. | “成人”完全不是我想象中的那种 |
| [07:50] | I have an idea. | 我有个主意 |
| [07:51] | Why don’t you take Anna-Kat to the park? | 何不由你带安娜凯特去公园玩耍呢 |
| [07:53] | There’s always dads hanging around. | 那里总是有很多孩子爸爸 |
| [07:54] | Maybe you can meet someone there. | 或许你可以认识新朋友 |
| [07:56] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [07:56] | Hey, anyone would be lucky to be your friend. | 能做你的朋友 是那个人的幸运 |
| [08:00] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [08:03] | Alright, everybody in the car. | 大家上车 |
| [08:06] | Are you sure making Oliver skip school is a good idea? | 你确定叫奥利弗逃学是个好主意吗 |
| [08:08] | Trust me — it’s just what he needed. | 相信我 他就需要来一次这个 |
| [08:11] | He’s even sleeping in. | 他今天还睡懒觉了呢 |
| [08:12] | Not a bad start to his ditch day. | 逃学日的一个不错的开始啊 |
| [08:13] | I don’t remember agreeing to this. | 我好像没同意过你这事啊 |
| [08:15] | This isn’t one of those things that we both have to sign off on. | 这件事不是需要夫妻俩都同意的那种 |
| [08:17] | Oh, so you get to do whatever you want with Oliver, | 所以你想怎么摆布奥利弗都行 |
| [08:19] | but I buy one rug from Cost Plus without consult– | 但我没问过你就从家具店买了一条地毯… |
| [08:21] | Rugs are different than kids, Greg! | 地毯跟孩子不一样 格雷格 |
| [08:31] | Oliver, I would not be a good mother | 奥利弗 我想成为好妈妈 |
| [08:33] | if I let you sleep away your ditch day. | 就不能让你这么睡过逃学日 |
| [08:38] | Oliver! | 奥利弗 |
| [08:45] | What the… | 什么鬼… |
| [08:49] | He went to school! He reverse-Ferris Buellered me. | 他去上学了 用了反”春天不是读书天”的招 |
| [08:52] | And instead of a mannequin, it’s a pig! | 电影里用假人 他用了头猪 |
| [08:55] | Oliver thinks he’s pulled a fast one on me. | 奥利弗觉得自己棋高一着 |
| [08:57] | I’ll show him. | 看我怎么治他 |
| [08:58] | I’m not washing these sheets for a month. | 这床单我一个月都不给他洗 |
| [09:10] | I need to speak with Oliver Otto. | 我需要跟奥利弗·奥图谈谈 |
| [09:14] | Son, I want you to know | 孩子 我想你知道 |
| [09:15] | I wake up every night drenched in sweat | 我每天晚上都大汗淋漓从梦中惊醒 |
| [09:17] | because my job entails delivering news like this. | 因为我的职责包含传达这种消息 |
| [09:20] | News like what? What are you talking about? | 哪种消息 你在说什么啊 |
| [09:22] | I sweat right through my pajamas. | 汗水湿透我的睡衣 |
| [09:24] | Then I lay there alone, shivering in the dark, | 我独自躺在床上 在黑暗中瑟瑟发抖 |
| [09:26] | staring into the abyss. | 双眼望向虚无 |
| [09:28] | But I’ve trained for this moment. | 但我为此刻练习已久 |
| [09:30] | Your mother’s been in an accident. | 你妈妈出了起意外 |
| [09:32] | There’s a car waiting for you outside. | 外面有台车在等着接你 |
| [09:43] | Mom, what happened? | 妈 怎么了 |
| [09:44] | Principal Ablin said you had an accident. | 阿布林校长说你出了场意外 |
| [09:46] | I did. | 是啊 |
| [09:47] | I did have an accident. | 我是出了意外 |
| [09:49] | I opened up a bag of Bugles, and they went… | 我打开一包薯片 它们… |
| [09:53] | everywhere. | 撒得到处都是 |
| [09:57] | You are a psychopath. | 你简直丧心病狂啊 |
| [09:59] | Mother/son ditch day, here we come! | 母子逃学日 正式开始 |
| [10:02] | I’m going back to school. | 我要回学校 |
| [10:08] | What I really meant to say is, I’m glad you’re okay. | 我的意思是 看到你没事就好 |
| [10:11] | Aw, sweetie. | 乖儿子 |
| [10:17] | Are you holding your finger on the door lock | 你一只手指按着锁门钮 |
| [10:18] | while you hug me with only one arm? | 然后用另一只手抱着我吗 |
| [10:20] | I don’t know. | 不知道啊 |
| [10:21] | Are you trying to unlock the door | 你有一只手试着开门 |
| [10:22] | while you hug me with only one arm? | 然后一边用另一只手假装抱我吗 |
| [10:36] | That’s it! I’m driving while locking! | 够了 我要一边开车一边锁门 |
| [10:38] | I’m driving while locking! | 我要边开边锁 |
| [10:49] | There you go. | 去吧 |
| [10:50] | Just get in the circle. | 加入圈子 |
| [10:52] | Just edge your way in. | 慢慢混进去 |
| [10:56] | That’s it. That’s it. | 就是这样 就是这样 |
| [11:03] | That’s not it. | 不是这样 |
| [11:10] | Giants fan, huh? | 巨人队粉丝吗 |
| [11:12] | Yeah. They’ve got to figure out their quarterback problem, huh? | 是啊 他们得先处理好四分卫的问题啊 |
| [11:14] | Yeah. Yeah. | 是啊 是啊 |
| [11:18] | You like stamps? | 你喜欢邮票吗 |
| [11:21] | Oh, Greg. | 格雷格啊 |
| [11:24] | Hey, look! You two have the same sneakers. | 快看 你们穿同款球鞋呢 |
| [11:26] | Why don’t you talk about it? | 你们何不聊聊这事呢 |
| [11:28] | New Balance. | 新百伦的 |
| [11:29] | Yeah — the shoe of dads everywhere. | 是啊 全国各地老爸指定品牌 |
| [11:32] | I’m Greg. | 我叫格雷格 |
| [11:33] | – Charles. – Oh, nice to meet you. | -我叫查尔斯 -幸会 |
| [11:34] | Yeah, it’s good to meet you, too. | 是啊 幸会幸会 |
| [11:35] | So, Cassidy, is that your dad my dad’s talking to? | 卡西迪 我爸在聊天的人是你爸吗 |
| [11:39] | Yup. | 是啊 |
| [11:40] | They seem to be getting along. | 感觉他们挺合得来啊 |
| [11:42] | Look. | 你看 |
| [11:44] | So…cute. | 真有爱 |
| [11:48] | Do you want to come over to my house | 你今天晚点有兴趣来我家 |
| [11:49] | for a playdate later today? | 一起玩耍吗 |
| [11:51] | Okay. | 行啊 |
| [11:56] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
| [11:57] | Why is that funny? You’re filthy now. | 这有什么好笑的 你现在浑身脏死了 |
| [12:00] | Sandy belly! Ho ho ho! | 圣诞老人沙肚子 |
| [12:06] | The things I do for him. | 我为了他所做的牺牲啊 |
| [12:10] | You can’t tell me this hasn’t been a fun day. | 你敢说今天不好玩吗 |
| [12:12] | We snuck into a movie, | 我们混进去白看电影 |
| [12:13] | half-made a Build-A-Bear, then ran out, | 去自制泰迪熊店做熊 做到一半就跑 |
| [12:15] | and went engagement ring shopping | 还一起去逛了订婚戒指 |
| [12:16] | and creeped out that woman at Zales. | 把店里的那个女人给吓懵了 |
| [12:18] | This whole day had no productive outcome. | 这一整天毫无建树 |
| [12:21] | And I’m gonna get a zero on my science notebook entry. | 而且我的科学课笔记要得零分了 |
| [12:23] | Who cares? | 那又如何 |
| [12:25] | I’ll write you a note. | 我会帮你写个解释信 |
| [12:26] | You have got to lighten up, or before you know it, | 你得放松心情 不然以后某一天 |
| [12:28] | you’re going to be drinking yak butter in Nepal. | 你就突然发神经跑去尼泊尔喝牦牛酥茶 |
| [12:31] | That sounds like Disneyland | 跟我们去戒指店的经历比起来 |
| [12:32] | compared to the Zales experience. | 那个简直就像梦幻般的迪士尼乐园 |
| [12:36] | What is Chloe Brown Mueller doing in our front yard?! | 克洛伊·布朗·米勒在我们家前院做什么 |
| [12:41] | If I let you drive, would you run her over? | 如果我让你开车 你愿意帮我碾她吗 |
| [12:42] | – Mom. – Come on. | -妈 -来嘛 |
| [12:43] | They’d trial you as a kid, | 你会以非成人受审 |
| [12:44] | and then you’d be out in 18 months. | 关个一年半就能放出来了 |
| [12:53] | I told you that I don’t want your signs in my yard! | 我跟你说过我家前院不要你的标牌 |
| [12:57] | Yeah, that’s why I did it when you weren’t home, dum-dum. | 所以我才在你不在家时来插啊 傻子 |
| [12:59] | Well, I’m pulling them out! | 那我要把它们全扯了 |
| [13:00] | Go right ahead. I posted this all on Instagram. | 随你 我把照片传网上了 |
| [13:03] | The poors are gonna drop their Whoppers | 穷人们会放下他们的速食店汉堡 |
| [13:04] | and their 40-ounce colas | 还有巨号可乐 |
| [13:06] | and vote Chloe Brown Mueller, baby! | 来投我克洛伊·布朗·米勒一票 |
| [13:08] | You can’t trespass on my property | 你不能非法侵入我的土地 |
| [13:09] | and stick your stupid signs in my lawn! | 然后把你的傻逼标牌插在我草坪上 |
| [13:11] | Oh, speaking of stupid things stuck in the grass, | 说到插在草坪上的傻逼东西 |
| [13:13] | nice flamingo. | 你的火烈鸟”不错”啊 |
| [13:14] | Ull! I like it. | 我挺喜欢的 |
| [13:15] | It’s witty and unexpected. | 挺机智又出乎人意料 |
| [13:17] | It’s not witty and unexpected, Maria! | 才不机智与出乎人意料呢 玛丽亚 |
| [13:19] | It’s trashy and crappy! | 是没品位兼垃圾 |
| [13:20] | Isn’t that what you meant? | 你说的是这个意思吧 |
| [13:21] | It belonged to my grandmother. She collected them. | 这是我奶奶的遗物 她以前搜集的 |
| [13:24] | And I like to keep one in my yard to remind me of her. | 所以我留了一只在我的草坪上缅怀她 |
| [13:27] | Oh, you’re killing me! | 我要被你笑死了 |
| [13:28] | Your grandmother collected plastic flamingos? | 你奶奶搜集塑料的火烈鸟吗 |
| [13:31] | What else did she collect? | 她还搜集什么鬼 |
| [13:34] | Quick — Maria, give me some trashy and crappy things | 玛丽亚 快帮我想想还有什么没品位的垃圾 |
| [13:36] | so I can ask Katie if her grandmother collected them. | 我好问问凯蒂她奶奶有没有搜集那个 |
| [13:38] | Um, I… | 我… |
| [13:39] | Oh, my God, you’re useless. Get in the car! | 天啊 你真是没用到爆 上车吧 |
| [13:41] | I don’t know why I pay your health insurance. | 我都不知道我干嘛帮你付健保 |
| [13:43] | I have a $12,000 deductible. | 我得自费12000 |
| [13:44] | Doesn’t mean you can’t fix that chin! | 不代表你不能花钱去整你的下巴啊 |
| [13:52] | Grandma to the rescue! | 奶奶来救场 |
| [13:54] | We are going to flamingo | 我们今晚就去火烈鸟 |
| [13:55] | Chloe Brown Mueller’s lawn tonight. | 克洛伊·布朗·米勒家的草坪 |
| [13:58] | What does that even mean? | 你这句子是什么意思啊 |
| [13:59] | You put flamingos in someone’s yard. | 就是把火烈鸟插到人家的前院 |
| [14:02] | Like, a lot of them. | 插得满满 |
| [14:03] | How is that a good idea? | 这算哪门子的好主意 |
| [14:04] | You said that before we went into Zales, | 你在我们进戒指店前也这么说 |
| [14:06] | and we got free sparkling waters. | 但你看我们是不是蹭到了免费气泡水 |
| [14:11] | So, you have a friend coming over? | 你有朋友要来家里吗 |
| [14:13] | Yeah. We really hit it off. | 是啊 我们一拍即合 |
| [14:15] | Thanks for making me get back out there. | 谢谢你鼓励我出去交朋友 |
| [14:17] | Ever since Stan left — | 打从斯坦走后… |
| [14:18] | Piece of advice — | 给你个小建议 |
| [14:19] | don’t talk about Stan with this new guy. | 别在新男人面前提起斯坦 |
| [14:21] | He does not want to picture you with another dad. | 他不会想脑海中出现你跟别的爸爸的画面 |
| [14:23] | Got it. | 收到 |
| [14:27] | That must be your playdate. | 应该是你玩耍约会的人来了 |
| [14:29] | – Our playdate. – Sure. | -是我们的玩耍约会 -行啊 |
| [14:30] | I’m not a big fan of this Cassidy girl, | 我不是那么喜欢这个卡西迪小姑娘 |
| [14:32] | so let’s say we have a hard out at 5:00. | 我们先约好5点必须散会 |
| [14:35] | Okay. Come on. | 好 来吧 |
| [14:40] | – Hi. – Hi! | -你们好 -你好啊 |
| [14:41] | Where’s your dad? | 你爸爸呢 |
| [14:42] | He’s playing tennis with his buddies. | 他去跟朋友们打网球了 |
| [14:46] | Oh, I thought — | 我还以为… |
| [14:47] | Sounds fun. | 感觉很好玩啊 |
| [14:48] | Come on in. | 快请进 |
| [14:55] | New plan — I’m gonna play with her for 10 minutes, | 新计划 我会跟她一起玩10分钟 |
| [14:58] | and then I’m gonna make myself throw up. | 然后我会催吐我自己 |
| [15:05] | This is going to make Chloe Brown Mueller lose her mind. | 这一定会让克洛伊·布朗·米勒气炸 |
| [15:08] | I would not want to be Maria tomorrow. | 我为明天的玛丽亚先默哀 |
| [15:10] | Or ever. | 甚至是为她此生默哀 |
| [15:11] | That is one sad lady. | 那姑娘好可怜啊 |
| [15:12] | Honestly, I don’t understand | 说实话 我不懂 |
| [15:14] | why putting flamingos in someone’s yard is fun. | 在别人草坪插满火烈鸟有何乐趣 |
| [15:16] | If you only learn one thing from me, | 如果你从我身上能学到一件事 |
| [15:18] | it’s that nothing is more fun than messing with people. | 那就是没有什么比整人更有趣了 |
| [15:21] | Seriously?! | 你认真的吗 |
| [15:22] | That’s the one thing you want me to learn from my mother? | 你希望我从母亲身上学到的唯一一件事是整人 |
| [15:24] | Well…that and… | 这个嘛… 整人与… |
| [15:27] | compassion, I guess. | 同情心吧 我猜 |
| [15:29] | You keep up with the flamingos. | 你继续插火烈鸟 |
| [15:30] | I’m gonna go draw some more penises. | 我再去多画几个鸡鸡 |
| [15:32] | Ooh! The L’s in “Mueller” Are gonna have a sword fight! | “米”字的撇捺要来个鸡鸡大战了 |
| [15:37] | Cops! | 条子 |
| [15:38] | Scatter! We’ll meet at the house! | 散开逃跑 我们家里见 |
| [15:44] | If it makes you feel any better, | 不知道这能不能安慰到你 |
| [15:45] | at least your wife didn’t sleep with your best friend, | 但好歹你老婆没有跟你挚友上床啊 |
| [15:47] | like McDreamy. | 就像”实习医生格蕾”里的梦幻先生 |
| [15:49] | Oh, but then you’d have to have a best friend first. | 不过你得先有个挚友才行 |
| [15:52] | Way to go, McDummy. | 真会说话啊 梦幻白痴 |
| [15:53] | Guys, your mom is my best friend. | 两位 你们妈妈就是我的挚友 |
| [15:56] | Problem is, I can’t meet her for drinks | 但问题是 我不能在想躲她时 |
| [15:57] | when I’m trying to get away from her. | 又邀请她跟我出去喝酒谈心 |
| [16:00] | Oh, my God! I got to lay down! | 要命了 我得躺下 |
| [16:02] | I can’t. I can’t make it to the couch. | 不行 我没力走到沙发那里了 |
| [16:07] | W-Where’s Oliver? | 奥利弗人呢 |
| [16:08] | He’ll be here in a second. | 他马上就会到 |
| [16:10] | He’s faster than me, | 他脚程比我快 |
| [16:11] | but I kind of went as the crow flies. | 但我走的是最短距离的捷径 |
| [16:31] | How old are you? | 你几岁了 |
| [16:32] | 18. | 18岁 |
| [16:33] | Okay, have at it. | 行 尽情享用 |
| [16:36] | What happened? | 发生什么事了 |
| [16:37] | We had to scatter! | 我们必须得分散逃跑 |
| [16:39] | And I’m fat, Greg! | 而我胖啊 格雷格 |
| [16:40] | I’m a big girl, so it was harder for me! | 我胖 所以跑起来比较辛苦 |
| [16:42] | Scatter from what? | 为了什么事分散逃跑 |
| [16:48] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [16:50] | Yes, this is he. | 是我 |
| [16:52] | Oh, I’m…sorry to hear that, officer. | 真的不好意思 警官 |
| [16:55] | Yes, we’ll be right down. | 好的 我们马上过去 |
| [16:58] | Scatter from the cops. | 分散逃离警察 |
| [17:04] | I can’t believe you got our son arrested. | 我真不敢相信你害我们儿子被抓 |
| [17:06] | You keep saying that over and over again. | 你这话像跳针一样说个不停 |
| [17:08] | Let’s move on. | 说点新的吧 |
| [17:09] | What was I supposed to do? | 那你想我怎么做啊 |
| [17:10] | Not get him arrested? | 不要害他被逮捕啊 |
| [17:11] | I’ve been caught by the cops | 我以前就曾经因为 |
| [17:12] | for flamingoing lawns before, Greg. | 去火烈鸟人家的草坪被抓过了 格雷格 |
| [17:14] | They give you a slap on the wrist. | 他们只会小小处罚 |
| [17:17] | Sometimes, they ask you out. | 有时候还会约你出去呢 |
| [17:19] | Sometimes, you end up going to the prom | 有时候 你还会跟警官 |
| [17:21] | with a police officer. | 去毕业舞会呢 |
| [17:24] | Trust me — it’s not a big deal. | 相信我 小事一桩啦 |
| [17:27] | I hope you’re right. | 希望是你说的这样 |
| [17:29] | Remember before we moved here? | 还记得我们搬来这里之前吗 |
| [17:31] | Oliver was less serious. | 奥利弗没那么较真 |
| [17:33] | He was goofier. | 他比较傻乐 |
| [17:34] | And then we come to Westport, | 然后我们搬来了西港 |
| [17:35] | and he has gotten obsessed with all the wrong things. | 他开始纠结那些不该纠结的事情 |
| [17:38] | And now he’s on that path. | 而现在他走上了那条路了 |
| [17:39] | There’s a lot of good things on that path, | 那条路上有很多好东西啊 |
| [17:41] | like hard work and a great college. | 比如努力与好大学 |
| [17:43] | I don’t want him off the path. | 我没有想要让他不走这条路 |
| [17:44] | I just want him to have fun along the way. | 我只是希望他在路上时 也能有快乐 |
| [17:47] | And I’m afraid if he doesn’t, | 我很担心如果他没得到快乐 |
| [17:49] | he’s gonna end up like Stan and have a nervous breakdown. | 他最后会像斯坦一样搞到精神崩溃 |
| [17:52] | I mean, when was the last time you heard him laugh? | 你上一次听到他的笑声是什么时候 |
| [17:56] | I miss that. | 我好想念他的笑声 |
| [17:59] | I miss it, too. | 我也很想念 |
| [18:02] | I can’t believe you got our son arrested! | 我真是不敢相信你害我们儿子被逮捕 |
| [18:03] | He was supposed to scatter! | 他应该开溜的啊 |
| [18:11] | We’re here to pick up our son — Oliver Otto. | 我们来接我们的儿子 奥利弗·奥图 |
| [18:13] | Oliver Otto — right. | 奥利弗·奥图 是的 |
| [18:14] | We can’t release him to you just yet. | 我们还不能放他 |
| [18:16] | You want to keep him for, like, an hour or so, | 你们打算关他个一小时之类的 |
| [18:17] | put a scare into him — is that what you’re thinking? | 吓唬吓唬他 你们是在想这个吗 |
| [18:20] | No, your son is in real trouble. | 不是 你儿子惹得麻烦大了 |
| [18:21] | He was caught trespassing, | 他犯了非法入侵 |
| [18:23] | and he caused substantial property damage. | 还造成了可观的财产损害 |
| [18:25] | Mrs. Brown Mueller is a political candidate, | 布朗·米勒太太是个选举参选人 |
| [18:28] | so there’s an extra set of special circumstances. | 所以这是特殊情况 |
| [18:30] | It’s flamingoing. In Florida — | 这叫火烈鸟草坪 在佛罗里达… |
| [18:33] | This isn’t Florida! | 这里不是佛罗里达 |
| [18:34] | Are you familiar with the term “zero tolerance”? | 你们听过一个词叫”零容忍”吗 |
| [18:36] | Because that’s what you’re up against. | 因为你们现在问题是这个 |
| [18:38] | He drew genitalia on official election materials. | 他在官方选举材料上画了性器官 |
| [18:42] | Can I at least post bail and bring him home? | 那我能提交保释金 带他回家吗 |
| [18:44] | Of course — right after he’s arraigned, | 当然可以 等到他被传讯后即可 |
| [18:45] | which is in about two days. | 这大概是两天后吧 |
| [18:47] | Two days?! | 两天吗 |
| [18:48] | You cannot keep a kid in jail for two days for flamingoing. | 火烈鸟人家草坪不需要关一个孩子到两天吧 |
| [18:51] | This is a Class “A” misdemeanor. | 这算是一级轻罪了 |
| [18:53] | You’ll probably want to hire an attorney, | 你们最好去请个律师 |
| [18:56] | because this is the kind of thing | 因为这种事情 |
| [18:57] | that goes on your permanent record. | 将会被记录到他的永久记录上 |
| [18:59] | Oh, my God, Greg! Permanent record! | 天啊 格雷格 永久记录 |
| [19:01] | This’ll prevent him from going to college! | 这会害他上不了大学的 |
| [19:03] | What are we going to do?! | 我们该怎么办啊 |
| [19:04] | Gotcha! | 整到你啦 |
| [19:06] | – What?! – I got you! | -什么 -我整到你啦 |
| [19:07] | Special circumstances, zero tolerance? Classic! | 特殊情况 零容忍 太赞了 |
| [19:11] | I always giggle when I’m nervous. | 我紧张的时候很容易笑场 |
| [19:13] | I almost giggled. | 差点就笑出来 |
| [19:14] | You should have seen your face, Mom. | 你真应该看看你的表情啊 妈 |
| [19:15] | You were totally freaked out. | 整个人都吓坏了 |
| [19:17] | Why in the world would you do that? | 你为什么要做这种事 |
| [19:19] | Because nothing is more fun than messing with people. | 因为没有什么比整人更有趣了 |
| [19:27] | You really are a good student. | 你真是个好学生啊 |
| [19:29] | You were, like, “Oh, my God, Greg! | 你刚才”天啊 格雷格 |
| [19:31] | Permanent record”! | 永久记录” |
| [19:34] | Well, you found his laugh. | 你找到他的笑声啦 |
| [19:36] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [19:37] | I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I did. | 原来我没想象中那么想念 |
| [19:43] | So, when I get arrested, | 所以等轮到我被逮捕时 |
| [19:45] | are you going to throw a dinner in my honor? | 你也会为我办一场晚餐会吗 |
| [19:47] | I don’t like how she said “When”. | 我不太喜欢她说”等轮到” |
| [19:49] | You should know that I’ve decided to quit Mandarin. | 我想让你们知道 我退出中文课了 |
| [19:51] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [19:52] | Yeah, I’m gonna take Latin instead. | 对啊 我打算改学拉丁文 |
| [19:54] | It’s a dead language. | 这是个没人说的死语言 |
| [19:55] | Jeremy Fleisher’s parents can do a lot of things, | 杰里米·弗莱舍的父母可以做到很多事 |
| [19:58] | but they can’t buy him a dead person. | 但他们不能买到个死人给他 |
| [20:06] | – Hi! Come on in. – How are you? | -你好 请进 -你好吗 |
| [20:08] | Oh, my God — cops. Oliver, run! | 天啊 警察 奥利弗快跑 |
| [20:10] | No, Anna-Kat, it’s okay. | 别 安娜凯特 没事的 |
| [20:11] | We got to talking in the station. | 我们在警局时聊上了几句 |
| [20:12] | I found out we have a lot of the same interests. | 我发现我们有挺多共同兴趣 |
| [20:14] | You made a friend? | 你交了个新朋友吗 |
| [20:15] | That’s right. We’re both philatelists. | 对啊 我们都是集邮者 |
| [20:17] | Greg is one of the most passionate philatelists | 格雷格是我见过最有热情的 |
| [20:20] | I’ve ever met. | 集邮者之一了 |
| [20:22] | I know it means something different | 我知道你们说的词 |
| [20:24] | than what I’m thinking it means. | 不是我想的那个意思 |
| [20:26] | It means stamp collecting. | 意思是搜集邮票 |
| [20:27] | There it is. | 这就对了 |