| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | And thank you for your order. | 谢谢你的订单 |
| [00:03] | Guess who just made another sale from Mrs. O’s Lasagna. | 猜猜谁刚刚又将奥图太太千层面卖出了一份 |
| [00:06] | Mom, you are a killer! | 妈 你太厉害了 |
| [00:07] | I’m so proud to have your blood in my veins. | 我很高兴我的身体里流淌着你的血 |
| [00:10] | You, less so. | 你就不怎么样了 |
| [00:10] | Hey! Because of me, you’re gonna be tall. | 别啊 因为我的基因 你将会长得很高 |
| [00:12] | And, fun fact, | 有件趣事是 |
| [00:13] | your hair will grow upwards, like a stovepipe. | 你的头发会向上长 像烟筒一样 |
| [00:16] | So, my girlfriend’s dad, the cardboard box king… | 我女朋友的爸爸 那个纸盒大王 |
| [00:19] | his brother is the Jar Czar, | 他的兄弟是「瓶罐沙皇」 |
| [00:20] | and I negotiated an amazing deal. | 我跟他谈成了一个超棒的合作协议 |
| [00:22] | I just cut our overhead in half. | 我把我们的成本降低了一半 |
| [00:24] | Sorry, Anna-Kat, but my new favorite kid is… | 抱歉 安娜凯特 但现在我最爱的孩子是… |
| [00:27] | Oliver. | 奥利弗 |
| [00:28] | That’s cool. I had a good run. | 没事 我作为你的最爱也挺久了 |
| [00:30] | Nice to see you guys bonding over the business, | 我很高兴看到你们母子感情因为生意更紧密了 |
| [00:31] | and, actually, I’m kind of jealous. | 实际上 我还有点嫉妒呢 |
| [00:33] | I don’t have a similar thing with any of the kids. | 我跟任何一个孩子都没有类似的体验 |
| [00:34] | We have a thing. You comb the lice out of my hair. | 我们也有父女专属活动啊 你曾给我捉虱子 |
| [00:36] | Once. In second grade. | 就一次 还是你上二年级时 |
| [00:38] | Hey, I’m trying, Greg. | 嘿 我努力了 格雷格 |
| [00:44] | Katie, where’s the milk? | 凯蒂 牛奶哪儿去了 |
| [00:45] | Where’s a condiment? | 调味品哪儿去了 |
| [00:46] | Where’s anything that’s not lasagna-related? | 跟千层面无关的东西都哪儿去了 |
| [00:48] | Sorry, but starting a home business | 抱歉 但是搞家庭作坊式创业 |
| [00:50] | is a lot like having a new baby. | 就跟养育新生儿一样 |
| [00:52] | It requires constant attention. | 需要持续的关注 |
| [00:54] | But unlike a baby, | 但跟新生儿不同的是 |
| [00:55] | you can’t leave your home business in an Exersaucer | 你无法将家庭作坊创业项目丢在学步车里 |
| [00:57] | while you play “Candy Crush” on the toilet. | 自己坐在马桶上玩糖果消消乐 |
| [01:01] | Hey, you, help me wash the pans | 说你呢 帮我洗锅去 |
| [01:03] | so I can make some more lasagna. | 好让我多做点千层面 |
| [01:04] | These don’t scrub. | 我这可不是刷锅的手 |
| [01:06] | The secret to looking rich | 显得有钱的秘诀 |
| [01:07] | is expensive shoes and soft hands. | 就是穿昂贵的鞋 拥有柔嫩的手 |
| [01:09] | Touch ’em. They’re like a dolphin’s belly. | 你摸摸看 简直跟海豚的肚肚差不多柔嫩 |
| [01:12] | And besides, I don’t have time. | 再说了 我也没有时间啊 |
| [01:14] | Before they let me take calls at Teen Help Line, | 在他们允许我在青少年求助热线正式接电话前 |
| [01:16] | I have to work on my speaking voice. | 我必须练习一下说话的语气 |
| [01:18] | Apparently, I have this mocking tone | 显然 我说话总是带着嘲弄的语气 |
| [01:20] | where I come across as unsympathetic. | 那会显得我毫无同情心 |
| [01:22] | Some people have a punchable face. | 有些人长着一张欠揍的脸 |
| [01:23] | You have a punchable voice. | 你却是有着欠揍的声音 |
| [01:25] | No, I don’t! | 不 我没有 |
| [01:26] | Yes, you do, sweetie. | 是真的 你就有 亲爱的 |
| [01:27] | It goes along with your punchable demeanor. | 那跟你欠揍的举止和态度是一脉相承的 |
| [01:33] | How’s the college application going? | 大学申请弄得怎么样了 |
| [01:35] | I haven’t…started. | 我还没 开始 |
| [01:39] | What? | 什么 |
| [01:40] | These essay questions are too hard! | 这些问答题都太难了 |
| [01:43] | “How have you positively influenced others?” | “你曾如何积极地影响了他人” |
| [01:46] | “What is your most significant accomplishment?” | “你最重大的成就是什么” |
| [01:49] | I’m 18, bruh! | 我才18岁啊 大哥 |
| [01:50] | My biggest accomplishment | 我最大的成就 |
| [01:52] | is a papier-mâché horse I made in art class. | 就是我在艺术课上用混凝纸做的马 |
| [01:55] | It has no legs, Taylor. | 它连腿都没有 泰勒 |
| [01:57] | It’s sleeping! | 它在睡觉呢 |
| [02:00] | I don’t care how hard it is. | 我不管到底有多难 |
| [02:02] | You’re not leaving this house until you finish those questions. | 你不弄完这些问题 就休想出家门 |
| [02:04] | Too bad one of the questions isn’t | 真遗憾这些问题当中没有一个是 |
| [02:05] | “Which family member is most like Satan?” | “你的哪个家庭成员最像魔王撒旦” |
| [02:07] | You compare me to Satan so much, it means nothing. | 你经常把我比作撒旦 那已经无意义了 |
| [02:13] | Oh, no. | 不好 |
| [02:16] | Mom! | 妈 |
| [02:17] | I see it! | 我看到了 |
| [02:20] | The weekly poker tournament just canceled their lasagna order. | 扑克周赛组织者刚刚取消了千层面订单 |
| [02:23] | Why are all of our clients canceling? | 为什么我们的顾客都取消了 |
| [02:25] | Because of these. | 因为这些东西 |
| [02:26] | We’re being flooded with bad Yelp reviews. | 外卖网站上涌入了一堆对我们的差评 |
| [02:28] | “I found a fingernail in my lasagna”? | “我竟然在千层面中吃出一个指甲” |
| [02:31] | “My son ate Katie’s lasagna, | “我儿子吃了凯蒂的千层面 |
| [02:32] | and now he’s been institutionalized. | 现在他进了收容所 |
| [02:34] | Is there a link?” | 二者间存在联系吗” |
| [02:35] | Caitlin Bianca Madison, you’re a damn liar! | 凯特琳·比安卡·麦迪森 你在撒谎 |
| [02:38] | So is Cathy Brenda McCormick. | 凯西·布伦达·麦考米克也一样 |
| [02:41] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [02:42] | This one’s by Collette Blix-Masters. | 这个人叫科莱蒂·布里克斯-马斯特斯 |
| [02:44] | All of these are posted by women with the initials CBM. | 这些评论的发出者都是名字缩写为CBM的女人 |
| [02:50] | Chloe Brown Mueller. | 克洛伊·布朗·米勒 |
| [02:56] | This next review will be from Cynthia Barbara Mendelstein. | 接下来的评论者叫辛西娅·芭芭拉·门德斯丁 |
| [03:00] | I’m making this one Jewish for you. | 我要给你造个犹太名 |
| [03:02] | – But I’m not — – Yes, you are. | -但我不是… -不 你就是 |
| [03:04] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [03:06] | Can I have the high holidays off? | 那犹太教的敬畏之日能给我放假吗 |
| [03:07] | No. | 不能 |
| [03:14] | 西港联合学校 后备民兵之家 | |
| [03:21] | It sucks that we don’t have the same lunch schedule this year. | 今年我们的午餐时间不一样 真是太糟了 |
| [03:23] | Yeah. No one else knows how to make me laugh the way you do. | 是啊 没人可以像你那样让我开怀大笑 |
| [03:26] | Plus, you know how to open the milk carton | 并且 你很会开牛奶盒 |
| [03:28] | without tearing the drinky part. | 不会把能喝的那部分撕坏 |
| [03:33] | Maybe we can ask Principal Ablin | 或许我们可以问问阿布林校长 |
| [03:34] | if he can change our schedules so we can eat together. | 能不能改下我们的时间安排 让我们一起用餐 |
| [03:37] | He’ll never say yes. | 他不可能答应的 |
| [03:38] | He’s had it in for me ever since I said | 自从我说他不可能是费纳宝 |
| [03:40] | there was no way he was the Phillie Phanatic. | 他就对我怀恨在心 跟我过不去 |
| [03:42] | Well, never hurts to try. | 试试也无妨嘛 |
| [03:45] | Hey, Principal Ablin, can we — | 你好 阿布林校长 我们能不能… |
| [03:47] | No. | 不行 |
| [03:48] | I was the Phillie Phanatic. | 我当年就是费纳宝 |
| [03:50] | Yeah, yeah. | 是啊 真会扯 |
| [03:51] | Penny. You forgot your lunch. | 佩妮 你忘记带午餐了 |
| [03:53] | Thanks, Maria. | 谢谢你 玛丽亚 |
| [03:54] | You know your mother only wants you to call me | 你知道你妈只希望你叫我 |
| [03:55] | “the help” or “sad face.” | 「女仆」或「丧气脸」 |
| [04:02] | Bellissima. | 美艳不可方物 |
| [04:08] | – Hi, Anna-Kat. – Hi, Maria. | -你好 安娜凯特 -你好 玛丽亚 |
| [04:11] | Principal Ablin. | 阿布林校长 |
| [04:21] | How did that go? Did I ask her out? | 刚刚我表现如何 我约她出去了吗 |
| [04:23] | No, you just stood there | 没有 你就傻站在那里 |
| [04:24] | looking like someone who needed an EpiPen. | 像是急需药物治疗的痴呆一样 |
| [04:28] | He really likes her. | 他真的很喜欢她 |
| [04:29] | Maybe we can use this to our advantage. | 或许我们可以利用这事捞点好处 |
| [04:32] | Principal Ablin. | 阿布林校长 |
| [04:33] | You know, we can help make Maria your girlfriend. | 我们可以帮你成功追到玛丽亚 |
| [04:37] | I don’t need your help. | 我才不需要你们的帮助 |
| [04:38] | I have mad game. | 我追女人厉害着呢 |
| [04:41] | But just for fun, | 不过就当是说笑 |
| [04:43] | why don’t you tell me what your advice would be? | 你何不告诉我你的建议是怎样的呢 |
| [04:44] | Not so fast. | 先别急 |
| [04:45] | We’re only helping | 想让我们帮忙 |
| [04:46] | if you allow Franklin and I to have the same lunch period. | 除非你给我和富兰克林安排一样的午餐时间 |
| [04:50] | – Deal. – Great! | -成交 -好极了 |
| [04:51] | This hunk landed me with a little playful teasing. | 这位帅哥当初就是用滑稽的玩笑拿下我的 |
| [04:54] | It shows that you’re funny and comfortable with the person. | 那显示你很风趣幽默 且跟对方相处自然舒适 |
| [04:56] | Oh, that makes sense. | 很有道理啊 |
| [04:57] | This was more helpful than my mom’s romantic advice — | 这可比我妈给的爱情建议有用多了 她只会说 |
| [05:00] | “A woman? Really?” | “追女人 不是吧你” |
| [05:10] | These reviews are vicious. | 这些评论太恶毒了 |
| [05:12] | This one says Navy SEALs found your lasagna | 这条说海豹突击队在本·拉登的藏身处 |
| [05:14] | in Osama bin Laden’s compound. | 发现了你的千层面 |
| [05:16] | I have worked my ass off to grow this business, | 我为了这个生意累得要死 |
| [05:18] | and now Chloe is cutting it down with a few bad Yelp reviews. | 而现在克洛伊凭几条网站评论就要打倒我 |
| [05:22] | Why is she so determined to destroy your business? | 她为什么下定决心要毁掉你的生意 |
| [05:24] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [05:25] | Career Day, maybe? | 也许因为职业介绍日 |
| [05:27] | Thank you. Thank you. | 谢谢你 谢谢你 |
| [05:30] | Our next speaker is Katie Otto, | 我们下位发言人是凯蒂·奥图 |
| [05:32] | who is going to talk about her poison-in-a-jar business. | 她将要讲述她的”罐装毒药”生意 |
| [05:36] | It’s lasagna in a jar. | 是罐装千层面 |
| [05:45] | Now, kids, I started my company from scratch, | 孩子们 我白手起家 |
| [05:50] | unlike the previous speaker, | 不像上一位发言人 |
| [05:52] | whose husband bought her a store to keep her busy. | 她丈夫给她买了家店 就为了让她忙起来 |
| [05:56] | Just like you guys bought this hamster a wheel to run on. | 就像你们给这只仓鼠买了跑步轮一样 |
| [06:02] | Run, Chloe Brown Hamster! | 跑啊 仓鼠克洛伊·布朗 |
| [06:04] | Run! | 跑啊 |
| [06:08] | Okay, if you want people to start buying your lasagna again, | 好吧 如果你想让人们继续购买你的千层面 |
| [06:11] | you need to ask Chloe to take those reviews down. | 你得让克洛伊删掉这些评论 |
| [06:13] | She’ll never do that. | 她不会删除的 |
| [06:14] | Then your only course of action | 唯一能做的是这个吗 |
| [06:15] | is to destroy her business in retaliation. | 就是毁掉她的生意作为报复 |
| [06:17] | That’s the only course of action? | 那是唯一能做的 |
| [06:19] | How? | 怎么做 |
| [06:20] | Steal Maria. | 挖走玛丽亚 |
| [06:22] | You need more help, and Chloe can’t survive without her. | 你需要更多帮助 而克洛伊离了她就活不了 |
| [06:24] | Isn’t that hitting below the belt? | 这不是太过分了吗[直译为”击打腰带以下部位”] |
| [06:26] | What’s wrong with hitting below the belt? | 打腰带以下怎么了 |
| [06:28] | It hurts the other person and it’s super-funny. | 又能伤到对方 又好玩 |
| [06:30] | It’s how I’m handling my divorce with Richard. | 我就是这么处理我和理查德的离婚的 |
| [06:32] | I’m stealing everybody that Richard can’t live without — | 我挖走了所有理查德离不开的人 |
| [06:35] | his personal assistant, his driver, his pastry chef — | 他的私人助理 司机 糕点师 |
| [06:38] | Oh. You have a dedicated pastry chef? | 你还有专用的糕点师 |
| [06:40] | Yeah. I mean, who else is gonna bake me fresh croissants | 当然 不然谁给我烘焙新鲜的牛角面包 |
| [06:43] | that I can take one bite out of, then throw to the swans? | 让我可以咬一口 然后扔给天鹅吃 |
| [06:47] | Or you could be the bigger person | 或者你可以做个心胸宽广的人 |
| [06:49] | and just let this one go, because you always t– | 就这么放手吧 因为你总是… |
| [06:53] | You’re just waiting for me to stop talking | 你就是等我闭嘴 |
| [06:55] | so you can do Doris’ plan. | 好照多瑞丝说的做 |
| [06:57] | I’m so glad we don’t have to play this game anymore. | 我真高兴咱们不用继续假装了 |
| [07:06] | Oh, hi, Katie. One moment. I’m with a customer. | 你好 凯蒂 请稍等 我现在有个顾客 |
| [07:10] | So, what can I help you with? | 所以 有什么我能帮你的 |
| [07:12] | “So, what can I help you with?” | “所以 有什么我能帮你的” |
| [07:15] | Why are you doing that to me? | 你为什么这样对我 |
| [07:16] | Because your voice is weird. | 因为你的声音太奇怪了 |
| [07:18] | But not as weird as your face! | 但比不上你的脸这么奇怪 |
| [07:21] | So, you free Friday night? | 所以 你周五晚上有空吗 |
| [07:23] | No. | 没有 |
| [07:28] | Ablin…what was that? | 阿布林 你干什么呢 |
| [07:31] | Uh…I-I have no game. | 我不会撩妹 |
| [07:37] | So, Maria, are you happy working for Chloe? | 玛丽亚 你替克洛伊干活开心吗 |
| [07:41] | Every day is like an alligator attack. | 每天都像被鳄鱼攻击一样 |
| [07:43] | Well, I just started my own business. | 我刚开始创业 |
| [07:46] | How would you like to come work for me? | 你想来替我工作吗 |
| [07:49] | – Really? – Mm-hmm. | -真的吗 -当然 |
| [07:50] | Yes. | 好的 |
| [07:52] | Maria! | 玛丽亚 |
| [07:54] | What did I tell you about standing next to mirrors? | 我不是叫你不要站在镜子旁边吗 |
| [07:57] | One of you is bad enough. I don’t need two. | 有一个你已经够糟了 我不需要两个 |
| [08:00] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [08:01] | Katie Otto’s in my store, as well? | 凯蒂·奥图也在我店里 |
| [08:03] | All I need now is a UTI to make this day complete. | 再来个尿路感染 就凑够这一天的坏事了 |
| [08:07] | Maria, do you have something you want to say to Chloe? | 玛丽亚 你有什么话想对克洛伊说吗 |
| [08:13] | I… | 我 |
| [08:14] | I | 我 |
| [08:18] | …quit. | 辞职 |
| [08:19] | You’re supposed to say “I quit.” | 你本该说”我辞职”的 |
| [08:22] | I quit. | 我辞职 |
| [08:23] | She quits. | 她辞职 |
| [08:25] | And the best part is, she’s working for me. | 而且最棒的是 她要来替我工作 |
| [08:30] | Maria! | 玛丽亚 |
| [08:32] | Maria?! | 玛丽亚 |
| [08:34] | Mariaaaa!! | 玛丽亚亚亚亚 |
| [08:38] | Hey, Dad, um, I know you’re working, | 老爸 我知道你在工作 |
| [08:40] | but do you feel like doing a puzzle with me? | 但你想和我一起玩拼图吗 |
| [08:43] | I thought you said you were too old for puzzles. | 我以为你觉得拼图太幼稚了呢 |
| [08:45] | I would never say something like that. | 我永远不会这样说的 |
| [08:47] | Eh, your exact quote was “I’m not a little girl anymore. | 你的原话是”我不再是小女孩了 |
| [08:50] | I hate puzzles. | 我恨拼图 |
| [08:51] | Stop asking and get off my jock.” | 别再说话了 别来烦我了” |
| [08:54] | Well, it’s not about the puzzle. | 其实和拼图无关 |
| [08:55] | I just want to spend time with you. | 我只想和你共度一些父女时光 |
| [08:57] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [08:59] | Okay. Let’s bond. | 好的 我们来加深父女感情吧 |
| [09:02] | Uh, well, since we’re hanging out, | 既然我们聚在一起 |
| [09:03] | um, I have this question I’ve been meaning to ask you. | 我有个问题一直想问问你 |
| [09:06] | Sure. Shoot. | 没问题 说吧 |
| [09:08] | What do you think is my most significant accomplishment? | 你觉得我最重大的成就是什么 |
| [09:11] | That’s an interesting question. I would say — | 这个问题很有意思 我觉得… |
| [09:13] | Try to keep your answer to 500 words or less. | 尽量把回答控制在五百字以内 |
| [09:18] | Oliver, come over here and meet our new employee. | 奥利弗 过来见见我们的新员工 |
| [09:23] | Maria? | 玛丽亚 |
| [09:23] | Hey, there, boss. | 你好 老板 |
| [09:25] | Ooh, “boss.” Goosebumps. | “老板” 我都起鸡皮疙瘩了 |
| [09:27] | Maria, you don’t have to call us “boss.” | 玛丽亚 你不必叫我们老板 |
| [09:29] | And you can make eye contact with us. | 而且你可以和我们有眼神接触 |
| [09:33] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [09:35] | And…I don’t have to tell you | 那 我也不用 |
| [09:36] | how great your hair looks on the hour? | 每个整点跟你说你的头发有多美吗 |
| [09:38] | Of course not. | 当然不用 |
| [09:40] | Maybe. | 也许可以说下 |
| [09:41] | Mom… | 老妈 |
| [09:43] | why did you hire someone? | 你为什么雇人 |
| [09:44] | Our reviews still suck, | 我们的评价糟透了 |
| [09:45] | which means we’re not making any money, | 也就意味着我们没有钱赚 |
| [09:47] | which means it’s the worst time to hire a new employee. | 也就意味着现在最不应该雇人 |
| [09:49] | I can help with the reviews, actually. | 实际上 评论的事我可以帮忙 |
| [09:51] | I know all of Chloe’s passwords, | 我知道克洛伊所有的密码 |
| [09:53] | so I can just log in to her accounts | 我可以直接登入她的账号 |
| [09:54] | and turn them into five stars. | 把所有评价改成五颗星 |
| [09:56] | Oliver, she’s pulling her weight already. | 奥利弗 她刚来就帮大忙了 |
| [09:58] | You’re amazing. | 你太棒了 |
| [10:00] | This job… | 这份工作 |
| [10:01] | it’s just so different. | 太不一样了 |
| [10:03] | It’s okay, Maria. | 没事的 玛丽亚 |
| [10:05] | – You’re going to — – No, no. Let me do this. | -你会… -不 不 让我来 |
| [10:07] | I need to practice my soothing voice for Teen Help Line. | 我需要为青少年求助热线联系我的安抚声音 |
| [10:12] | Hey, Maria? | 玛丽亚 |
| [10:13] | We’re happy to have you, and you’re doing just great. | 我们很高兴有你帮忙 而且你做得很棒 |
| [10:15] | Are you being sarcastic? | 你在讽刺我吗 |
| [10:18] | I don’t even know. | 我也不知道 |
| [10:21] | – Dessert first today? – Good idea. | -今天先吃甜品吗 -好主意 |
| [10:24] | Let’s see how high my blood sugar can go. | 看看我的血糖能到多高 |
| [10:25] | Oh, I’ve missed this. | 我真想念这些 |
| [10:27] | You two! | 你们俩 |
| [10:28] | Your advice was terrible! The deal is off! | 你们的建议糟透了 交易取消 |
| [10:31] | I’ve changed your schedule back. | 我把你们的课表改回来了 |
| [10:33] | You’re late for gym. | 你体育课迟到了 |
| [10:35] | Bye, Franklin. | 拜 富兰克林 |
| [10:36] | When will I ever see you again? | 我什么时候能再见你 |
| [10:38] | After gym. | 体育课后 |
| [10:39] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:41] | This is why you could’ve never been the Phillie Phanatic. | 所以你以前不可能是费纳宝 |
| [10:43] | You have no heart. | 你没良心 |
| [10:46] | Gimme a P! Gimme an H! | 给我个P 给我个H |
| [10:48] | Gimme an I, L, L, Y! | 再摆一个ILLY |
| [10:52] | What’s that spell? | 拼成什么 |
| [10:53] | Philly! | 费城人队 |
| [10:54] | That…proves…nothing. | 这说明不了任何东西 |
| [11:04] | Oh, did someone place a new order? | 有人下新订单了吗 |
| [11:06] | Ever since Maria took down the fake reviews Chloe posted… | 自从玛丽亚删掉克洛伊发的虚假差评后 |
| [11:09] | Our clients started coming back. | 我们的客户又回来了 |
| [11:11] | My baby was sick, and we nursed it back to health. | 我的宝贝病了 我们全心全力照顾它重获健康 |
| [11:13] | And that’s why Maria’s our employee of the month. | 所以玛丽亚是本月最佳员工 |
| [11:16] | Why are you mocking me? I’m doing the best I can. | 你为什么要嘲笑我 我已经尽力了 |
| [11:19] | Dad, you have a gentle voice. | 爸 你有副温柔的嗓子 |
| [11:21] | Can you teach me that tone you use | 你能教我那个声音吗 |
| [11:22] | to calm Mom down when she finds someone counting | 就是当妈妈发现有人在检查她是否违规 |
| [11:25] | to see if she has 10 items or less in her basket? | 强行走快速结账通道时 你安抚她的那个声音 |
| [11:27] | Sorry, son, but that honey timbre doesn’t come overnight. | 抱歉 儿子 但金嗓子不是一夜之间就能练成 |
| [11:30] | It took years working as a DJ | 我有多年的DJ从业经验 |
| [11:31] | at my college’s smooth jazz radio station. | 在我大学的悦耳爵士乐电台 |
| [11:34] | I know you don’t think they are, but your stories are so sad. | 我知道你不这么觉得 但你的故事都好悲伤 |
| [11:38] | Oliver, I need you to call the guys from the poker tournament | 奥利弗 帮我给扑克比赛的那帮人打个电话 |
| [11:40] | and explain to them what happened with the reviews. | 跟他们解释下那些评论是怎么回事 |
| [11:43] | You got it, Mom. | 没问题 妈妈 |
| [11:44] | Oliver, please! | 奥利弗 拜托 |
| [11:45] | This is important! | 这很重要 |
| [11:47] | I was being sincere! | 我是真心在回答你 |
| [11:49] | Damn this voice! | 这见鬼的嗓音 |
| [11:51] | You know, you’re not the only one bonding with our kids. | 你不是唯一跟孩子增进感情的人 |
| [11:55] | I hung out with Taylor yesterday — all day. | 昨天我跟泰勒玩了 一整天 |
| [11:58] | Whoa! Nice job. | 真不错 |
| [12:00] | First time we talked about really deep issues. | 那是我们第一次谈论如此深刻的话题 |
| [12:03] | She hung on my every word. | 她聆听了我的每句话 |
| [12:05] | I think at one point, she was even taking notes. | 我觉得有时候她甚至还做了笔记 |
| [12:07] | Quick question — did you guys also talk about | 问个小问题 你们是不是谈了 |
| [12:10] | what Taylor has done to make her community a better place? | 泰勒做了什么让她的社区变得更美好 |
| [12:12] | Yes. How did you know? | 对 你怎么知道 |
| [12:13] | Because you’re getting played. | 因为你被耍了 |
| [12:16] | All of those questions were from her college application. | 这些问题都是她的大学申请表里的 |
| [12:21] | I think I was just so happy she wanted to hang out with me, | 我想我只是很开心她愿意跟我待在一起 |
| [12:23] | I didn’t notice. | 我都没注意到 |
| [12:24] | Well, that is the last time | 这是最后一次 |
| [12:26] | we do a historical jigsaw puzzle together. | 我们一起玩历史拼图了 |
| [12:28] | That’ll show her. | 这会给她点教训 |
| [12:28] | I don’t think it will. | 我觉得不行 |
| [12:33] | Guess who got the lasagna order for the poker tournament back. | 猜猜谁拿回了扑克比赛的千层面订单 |
| [12:36] | They even want to put a rush order on it for tonight. | 他们甚至想要一个今晚的加急订单 |
| [12:38] | Crap! That is a lot of lasagna. | 天啊 那真是好多千层面 |
| [12:40] | Maria, fire up the stove. | 玛丽亚 把炉子打着 |
| [12:48] | Something’s wrong. It won’t turn on. | 不对劲 点不着了 |
| [12:52] | Did one of you call the gas company? | 有人叫煤气公司了吗 |
| [12:59] | E-Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
| [13:02] | Why are you putting a lock on our gas line? | 你为什么要给我们的煤气管道上锁 |
| [13:05] | You were renovating the backyard. | 你们在重新装修后院 |
| [13:06] | You hit a line, and now you need the gas shut off. | 碰断了一根管子 所以要把煤气停掉 |
| [13:08] | That never happened. | 没有这种事 |
| [13:10] | Who called this in, exactly? | 谁跟你们说的 |
| [13:11] | The homeowner. “Carmen Bolivar Martinez”? | 屋主 卡门·玻利瓦尔·马丁内斯 |
| [13:15] | CBM Cbm. | |
| [13:16] | You’ve got to admit, that’s the best name yet. | 你得承认 这是目前最好的名字 |
| [13:19] | I wanna punch your voice so hard right now. | 我现在真想揍一拳你的声音 |
| [13:25] | Listen, there has been a misunderstanding. | 听着 这是个误会 |
| [13:27] | I live here, and we don’t need the gas shut off. | 我住在这里 我们不需要停掉煤气 |
| [13:31] | – But the work order says — – I know what it says. | -但工作订单写了 -我知道上面写了什么 |
| [13:33] | But it’s wrong. | 上面是错的 |
| [13:34] | – But the work order — – It’s wrong. | -但工作订单 -是错的 |
| [13:35] | – But — – Don’t say it. | -但是 -住口 |
| [13:36] | – …the… – Stop. | -那个 -停下 |
| [13:37] | …work order — | 工作订单 |
| [13:37] | I want to talk to your supervisor. | 我想和你的上司谈谈 |
| [13:39] | He’s away. But you can call first thing Monday morning. | 他不在 但你可以周一一早给他打电话 |
| [13:42] | Sir, we can’t wait that long. | 先生 我们等不了那么久 |
| [13:43] | My mom and I run a home business, | 我妈妈和我经营着家庭作坊的生意 |
| [13:45] | and we need the gas turned on, or we’ll lose a big client. | 我们需要煤气 否则就会失去大客户 |
| [13:49] | – But the work order — – Where’s your offices? | -但工作订单 -你的办公室在哪儿 |
| [13:50] | Because I’m going to burn them to — | 因为我要过去把它们烧了 |
| [13:52] | This is DJ Greg, coming at you | 格雷格DJ在此 用香吻 |
| [13:54] | to calm you down with a kiss. | 安抚你狂躁的心 |
| [13:58] | Chloe Brown Mueller is messing with my baby, | 克洛伊·布朗·米勒在找我宝贝的茬 |
| [14:01] | and she’s going down. | 她要完蛋了 |
| [14:03] | Mom, your feud with Chloe is hurting our business. | 妈妈 你和克洛伊的宿怨影响到我们的生意了 |
| [14:05] | What’s more important? | 哪个更重要 |
| [14:06] | Hurting Chloe or protecting your baby? | 伤害克洛伊还是保护你的宝贝 |
| [14:08] | Right now, hurting Chloe. | 现在的话 伤害克洛伊 |
| [14:10] | Okay, I’m gonna go down to Perfection, | 好吧 我要去趟完美之家 |
| [14:13] | and I’m gonna take a bat to her electrical box. | 我要用棍砸了她的接电箱 |
| [14:15] | She’s gonna send one of my utilities to the hospital? | 她敢耍阴招让我伤筋动骨 |
| [14:17] | I send one of hers to the morgue. | 我就要了她的命 |
| [14:20] | “Untouchables” reference. | 《铁面无私》的梗 |
| [14:22] | I got it, boss. | 我懂了 老板 |
| [14:23] | So funny. | 太搞笑了 |
| [14:25] | Maria, you don’t have to laugh at my jokes. | 玛丽亚 你不用捧场我的笑话 |
| [14:28] | That’s not a joke. | 那不是笑话 |
| [14:31] | Oh, man. You are damaged. | 老天 你可真是被荼毒得不清 |
| [14:35] | Hey, Maria, now that you’re working here, | 玛丽亚 既然你现在在这工作 |
| [14:38] | maybe I should get to know you a little bit. | 也许我该更了解你一些 |
| [14:40] | What do you look for in a fella? | 你喜欢什么样的男人 |
| [14:43] | Anna-Kat, that is a personal question. | 安妮凯特 这是个私人问题 |
| [14:45] | But now that it’s out there, let’s spill some tea. | 但你既然问了 那我们开诚布公聊聊 |
| [14:47] | What do you look for in a man? | 你喜欢什么样的男人 |
| [14:49] | I guess I’m attracted to someone | 我猜我喜欢的人 |
| [14:51] | who isn’t afraid to share what makes them special. | 不怕分享些让自己与众不同的事 |
| [14:53] | As long as your definition of “Special” is pretty flexible, | 只要你对”特殊”的定义灵活 |
| [14:56] | I can work with that. | 我就能解决 |
| [14:59] | What is she up to? | 她有什么打算 |
| [15:01] | If she were my first kid, I’d dig into that, | 如果她是我第一个孩子 我肯定会好好研究 |
| [15:03] | but she’s number three. | 但她是老三 |
| [15:04] | I’m just gonna sit here and hope for the best. | 我就打算坐在家里 期待不出幺蛾子 |
| [15:07] | Hey, Dad! | 爸爸 |
| [15:08] | I thought you could teach me | 我想着你能教我 |
| [15:10] | how that old laminator of yours works. | 你那旧塑封机怎么用 |
| [15:11] | Sounds like a hoot, huh? | 听起来很有趣 对吧 |
| [15:14] | You know, I was thinking, | 我在想 |
| [15:15] | I’d like to revise my answer to the question | 我想修改一下之前问题的答案 |
| [15:18] | “What word best describes you?” | “哪个词最能形容你” |
| [15:20] | Okay. Shoot. | 好 说吧 |
| [15:21] | I’d say “Manipulative,” | 我会说善于操纵人 |
| [15:24] | “Deceitful,” “Self-serving.” | 有欺骗性 以自我为中心 |
| [15:26] | Wait a minute. That’s all bad stuff, right? | 等等 这些都是贬义词 对吧 |
| [15:28] | I know you only hung out with me | 我知道你跟我待在一起 |
| [15:29] | so you could pump me for your college application answers. | 只是为了从我这撬到你大学申请表的答案 |
| [15:32] | I was spending quality time with you, | 我在跟你过高质量的父女时光 |
| [15:34] | and you were using me! | 而你却利用我 |
| [15:35] | Okay, fine, I tricked you. | 好吧 我骗了你 |
| [15:38] | But come on. I only have one question left. | 可我就剩最后一个问题了 |
| [15:39] | Forget it, Taylor. | 别想了 泰勒 |
| [15:40] | You can’t slack off and expect me to bail you out. | 你自己懒散 还指望我帮你吗 |
| [15:42] | But I wasn’t slacking off! | 可我没有懒散啊 |
| [15:44] | I’ve been trying to answer these stupid questions | 过去三个月里我一直在试图回答 |
| [15:45] | for the past three months, | 那些蠢问题 |
| [15:47] | but I froze up because I finally really want something. | 可我想不出来 因为我终于找到了心之所向 |
| [15:49] | Carnegie Mellon is perfect for me. | 卡耐基梅隆大学正适合我 |
| [15:51] | When I’m on stage, it’s the only time | 只有站在舞台上 |
| [15:53] | I’m not afraid to show people the real me. | 我才敢表现真我 |
| [15:55] | And I realized singing is the thing I care about the most. | 我发现唱歌是我最在乎的事 |
| [15:59] | And if you don’t help me, I’ll never get in! | 你要是不帮我 我肯定不会被录取 |
| [16:00] | And why are you smiling? | 你笑什么 |
| [16:01] | – That’s it. – What? | -就是这样 -什么 |
| [16:03] | What you just said was the perfect answer to the last question… | 你刚才那些话就是那个问题的完美回答 |
| [16:05] | “Why do you want to attend Carnegie Mellon?” | “你为什么想上卡耐基梅隆大学” |
| [16:09] | – Really? – Yes! | -真的吗 -真的 |
| [16:10] | It’s honest and true | 坦率又真实 |
| [16:11] | and so much better than anything I could’ve come up with. | 比我能想出的回答好上太多了 |
| [16:15] | I’m gonna write this down. | 我要写下来 |
| [16:18] | But afterwards, we could maybe use your laminator | 过后 我们可以用你的压膜机 |
| [16:22] | and laminate things. | 压个膜什么的 |
| [16:23] | I know you’re only saying that because you feel guilty, | 我知道你只是心里过意不去才这么说 |
| [16:25] | but… | 不过… |
| [16:28] | …let’s push this baby to the limit. | 让我们来压榨这个宝贝的价值吧 |
| [16:32] | Carmen Bolivar Martinez, show yourself! | 卡门·玻利瓦尔·马丁内斯 给我出来 |
| [16:37] | Hello, Mother. | 你好 母亲 |
| [16:38] | Oliver? | 奥利弗 |
| [16:40] | What are you doing here? | 你来这里干什么 |
| [16:41] | Your feud was ruining our business, | 你们的宿怨已经危及我们的生意了 |
| [16:42] | so I reached out to Chloe to broker a truce. | 所以我来找克洛伊和谈 |
| [16:46] | The one child we planned turns on me! | 我唯一不是意外怀上的孩子背叛了我 |
| [16:48] | Mom… | 老妈… |
| [16:50] | …sit down, please. | 请坐下 |
| [16:53] | Chloe, you, too. | 克洛伊 你也坐 |
| [17:01] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [17:02] | Now, in order to end this, | 那么 要结束这场宿怨 |
| [17:03] | we need to get to the root of your issues with each other. | 就得找到你俩结怨的根源 |
| [17:06] | Why exactly are you mad at my mom? | 我妈到底哪里惹到你了 |
| [17:08] | Because she’s the suckiest suck that ever sucked. | 因为她左脸欠抽 右脸欠踹 |
| [17:11] | This stupid battle is hurting your business, too. | 这愚蠢的斗争也影响到你的生意了 |
| [17:14] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [17:15] | Your mother went too far on Career Day. | 职业介绍日那天你妈太过分了 |
| [17:17] | You started it. You said my lasagna was poison. | 是你先挑事的 你说我的千层面是毒药 |
| [17:20] | You said my store was a vanity project paid for by my husband. | 你说这店是我老公给我做的面子工程 |
| [17:23] | And why did that make you so mad? | 你为什么对此这么生气 |
| [17:25] | Because it’s not true! | 因为那不是事实 |
| [17:27] | I easily could have asked him, but I didn’t, | 如果我想 向他开口就可以了 可我没有 |
| [17:29] | because I wanted it to be truly mine. | 因为我想要一家真正属于自己的店 |
| [17:32] | Do you know I started going to small craft fairs, | 我从去手工制品集市开始 |
| [17:35] | meeting artists and developing relationships? | 结识手艺人 拓展人脉 |
| [17:37] | And then I spent years selling their work | 之后我在斯坦福购物中心的零售亭里 |
| [17:40] | at a kiosk at the Stanford Mall. | 为他们卖了好多年的工艺品 |
| [17:42] | You were a mall kiosk lady? | 你以前是购物中心零售女郎吗 |
| [17:44] | It was hell. | 不堪回首 |
| [17:46] | But I persevered, | 可我坚持下来了 |
| [17:47] | and I finally saved up enough money to open my own place. | 并且终于存够了自己开店的钱 |
| [17:52] | Perfection isn’t a vanity store. | “完美之家”不是我的虚荣门店 |
| [17:54] | It’s my baby. | 是我的 |
| [17:56] | I didn’t know. | 我之前不知道 |
| [17:57] | Mom, is it possible that you pre-judged Chloe | 老妈 你是不是作为典型的西港主妇 |
| [18:00] | as a typical Westport housewife? | 对克洛伊产生了先入为主的坏印象 |
| [18:02] | I guess I did. | 应该是吧 |
| [18:05] | So, that means… | 所以… |
| [18:07] | I was wrong. | 我错了 |
| [18:09] | Chloe, I didn’t mean to mess with your baby. | 克洛伊 我不是有意诋毁你的 |
| [18:12] | I’m sorry for stealing Maria away from you. | 抱歉我把玛丽亚挖走了 |
| [18:15] | Well, I’m sorry for messing with your baby, too. | 我也很抱歉诋毁了你的 |
| [18:17] | I know how hard it is to start a business. | 我知道创业有多难 |
| [18:20] | We need to be supporting each other. | 我们应该互相支持 |
| [18:22] | Maybe I’ll buy a jar of your lasagna… | 也许我会买一罐你的千层面… |
| [18:25] | and eat it over a four-year period. | 通过四年时间吃掉它 |
| [18:27] | Maybe I will buy a trinket from your store. | 也许我会在你店里买样小首饰… |
| [18:32] | That’s $800. | 那个八百美元 |
| [18:33] | You’ll let me know when you’re having a “100% off” Sale. | 等不要钱的时候你告诉我一声 |
| [18:35] | Would you mind if Maria came back to work for me? | 能让玛丽亚回来为我工作吗 |
| [18:42] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [18:43] | I’m not an object you can barter and trade. | 我不是任你们买卖的物品 |
| [18:45] | I am a human being. | 我是个有血有肉的人 |
| [18:46] | Oh, my God! What have you done to her? | 老天 你们对她做了什么 |
| [18:49] | Working for Katie has taught me that I have value. | 为凯蒂工作让我认识到了自己的价值 |
| [18:54] | Alright, well, what do I have to do to get you back? | 好吧 你要怎样才肯回来 |
| [18:57] | I could… give you a raise? | 我可以…给你加薪 |
| [19:00] | And I don’t want to give you | 还有你修完脚趾甲后 |
| [19:01] | a piggyback ride to your car after pedicures. | 我不想一路背你去车上 |
| [19:03] | You don’t like that? | 你不喜欢吗 |
| [19:05] | That was our thing! | 那是我们的情趣 |
| [19:09] | Okay. Fine. | 好吧 行 |
| [19:10] | You can start today. | 今天回来开工吧 |
| [19:11] | Tomorrow morning. | 明天早上 |
| [19:13] | Okay. | 行 |
| [19:14] | But I have to tell you that this self-esteem | 不过我得说 这份自尊心 |
| [19:16] | is a very ugly color on you. | 很不适合你 |
| [19:18] | So, this feud is over? | 那么 你们和解了吗 |
| [19:22] | Feud over. | 和解了 |
| [19:24] | Feud over. | 和解了 |
| [19:26] | Nice job, Oliver. | 真棒 奥利弗 |
| [19:29] | I think you found your soothing voice. | 你已经找到安抚的语调了 |
| [19:30] | I guess I did. | 是吧 |
| [19:32] | I think it’s because there was money on the line. | 估计是因为和金钱挂钩 |
| [19:34] | I just have to lock in this feeling | 我只要记住这种感觉 |
| [19:35] | and apply it to stupid stuff, like people’s problems. | 再运用到其他破事上就行 比如别人的烦恼 |
| [19:48] | I’ll get it! | 我去开 |
| [19:57] | She’ here. You ready? | 她已经在这儿了 你准备好了吗 |
| [19:58] | I brought what makes me special. | 我带了让我与众不同的东西 |
| [20:02] | Hey guys. Look who decided to come over and hang. | 各位 看看是谁来我们家玩了 |
| [20:05] | It’s my principal. | 是我的校长 |
| [20:06] | Hey Ottos. | 你们好 奥图一家 |
| [20:07] | Principal Ablin. | 阿布林校长 |
| [20:09] | What are you doing here? | 你来干什么 |
| [20:11] | I wanted to apologize to Maria for how I acted the other day. | 我来就之前的行为向玛丽亚道歉 |
| [20:14] | Those slams don’t belong anywhere | 那种话在现实中不该对任何人说 |
| [20:16] | except the Mainstage of Apollo. | 只能在剧院舞台上说 |
| [20:18] | So I brought you a gift. | 所以我给你带了份礼物 |
| [20:25] | It’s… a… | 是…个 |
| [20:28] | me. | 我 |
| [20:28] | I made it from memory. | 我按记忆雕的 |
| [20:29] | I’ve been a woodworker since I was a kid. | 我打小就是个木匠 |
| [20:31] | It’s kinda what makes me special. | 这也让我与众不同 |
| [20:34] | It’s pretty cool actually. | 还挺好看的 |
| [20:39] | So Maria, I was wondering if you’d ever like to… | 玛丽亚 你愿不愿意… |
| [20:41] | you know, go on a date with me. | 跟我约会 |
| [20:48] | Sure. It sounds fun. | 当然 听起来挺有意思的 |
| [20:50] | Yes! | 棒 |
| [20:51] | Huzza! | 万岁 |
| [20:52] | This is a man who is in charge of thousands of children. | 这是个掌管上千个孩子的男人 |