英文名称：A Very Harold And Kumar Christmas
年代：2011
推荐：千部英美剧台词本阅读
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [01:11] | MALL SANTA: Oh, ha, ha. Well, I’ll definitely be getting you that bicycle. | 吼吼吼 我肯定会把那辆自行车送你的 |
| [01:15] | And I’ll see what I can do about your parents’ ugly divorce, Caren. | 卡伦 我会尽力帮你解决你父母离婚的问题的 |
| [01:19] | All right. Merry Christmas! | 好的 圣诞快乐! |
| [01:21] | – Who’s next? – Santa! | – 下一位 – 圣诞老人 |
| [01:23] | Kumar, no! Merry… | 库玛!不是吧 圣诞… |
| [01:26] | WOMAN: Back of the line, tech support! | 滚开 技术支持顾问! |
| [01:28] | – Is this a joke? KUMAR: Hold the fuck on. | – 你开什么玩笑? – 你他妈的等会不行啊 |
| [01:30] | Your son can rub his ass on Santa’s cock in a minute. | 你儿子可以等会在圣诞老人 的鸡巴上磨他的小屁股 |
| [01:34] | – What do you want for Christmas? KUMAR: That’s a really good question. | – 你圣诞节想要什么礼物啊 年轻人? – 问的好 |
| [01:38] | – Snoopy Sno-cone Machine. – Done. | – 我想要史努比的冰淇淋机器 – 没问题 |
| [01:39] | – And a DeLorean. – Yes. | – 和一辆德劳瑞恩汽车 – 可以 |
| [01:41] | Wu-Tang to get back together. | 还想要武唐乐队重组 |
| [01:42] | I’ll tell the elves. | 我会告诉小精灵们的 |
| [01:44] | This is just for my stockings. | 这些只是我想要的 |
| [01:45] | – For my present… – Hey! | – 我爹妈还想要 – 嘿! |
| [01:47] | Meet me at my sleigh in half an hour, okay? | 半小时后在我的雪橇上见行吗? |
| [01:49] | You got it. Merry Christmas, Santa. | 行 圣诞快乐 圣诞老人! |
| [01:52] | – Ooh. Bong. – Oh! | – 哦 – 哦 |
| [01:54] | Right in the sugar plums. | 打的真准 |
| [01:57] | Okay. On the menu today, we have: | 看看今天咱们都有些什么好货色 |
| [02:01] | Winter Wonder Weed. | 有麻幻冬日 |
| [02:02] | We have Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer. | 还有鲁道夫的红眼驯鹿 |
| [02:06] | Oh, it’s a Weederful Life. | 哦 这个是麻幻人生 |
| [02:07] | God, does everything have to be about Christmas? | 我操 怎么什么玩意儿都跟圣诞节有关? |
| [02:10] | Hey, some people like the holidays. | 有些人就好这口儿 |
| [02:11] | I had Hanukkah Hash, but the kids from Temple Shalom Immanuel cleaned me out. | 本来我还有颠覆光明日 全卖给犹太教会的那帮小子们了 |
| [02:15] | KUMAR: What is this? “Kwanzaa Cookout.” | 这个是什么 “匡札节野餐 “? |
| [02:18] | A little more expensive. | 这个贵一点 |
| [02:20] | This is like Duvalier Dank from October. | 闻着像杜瓦利埃的十月 |
| [02:22] | – I’ll take it. – Oh. Hello, gentlemen. | – 我买这个 – 好吧 先生 |
| [02:25] | – Shit. – What? | – 我靠 – 咋啦? |
| [02:27] | You have anything to smoke out of? | 你带抽烟的家伙什儿没? |
| [03:07] | Wall Street sucks! Wall Street sucks! | 华尔街真烂! 华尔街真烂! |
| [03:10] | Wall Street sucks! Wall Street sucks! | 华尔街真烂! 华尔街真烂! |
| [03:13] | KENNETH: Ah, Mr. Lee? I’m here. | 李先生 我来了 |
| [03:18] | Wait… | 等等… |
| [03:19] | …more protesters? | 又来抗议者了? |
| [03:21] | Do they really think we care what poor people think? | 那些穷鬼还真以为我们会在乎他们怎么想吗? |
| [03:24] | Kenneth, it’s Christmas. | 肯尼思 今天可是圣诞节 |
| [03:25] | They’re out of work. You’d be upset too. | 他们都失业了 你也别太得瑟了 |
| [03:28] | Let’s see how you did on your assignment. | 看看你任务完成的怎么样 |
| 本电影台词包含不重复单词：1522个。 其中的生词包含：四级词汇：210个，六级词汇：94个，GRE词汇：102个，托福词汇：147个，考研词汇：226个，专四词汇：176个，专八词汇：31个， 所有生词标注共：455个。 定制生词标注的台词本和单词统计，请访问生词标注台词本 | ||
| [03:30] | I think I found the absolute best gift for your father-in-law. | 我觉得这绝对是给你岳父大人最棒的礼物 |
| [03:33] | And, Mr. Lee, I think you’re gonna be really pleased. | 李先生 你肯定会非常非常非常的满意 |
| [03:38] | Oh, my God. | 我的神呀 |
| [03:41] | This is a Sharp… | 这可是夏普公司生产的… |
| [03:43] | …52″ Aquos Quattron TV… | 52寸具有四色技术的液晶电视 |
| [03:45] | …with state-of-the-art 3D technology… | 采用了最先进的3D技术 |
| [03:48] | …that makes Avatar look Avatar-ded. | 比阿凡达还阿凡达 |
| [03:50] | I don’t know. Hasn’t the 3D thing jumped the shark by now? | 我有点不明白 3D这玩意儿不是早过时了吗? |
| [03:53] | Mr. Lee, you don’t understand. | 李先生 你有点没太明白 |
| [03:55] | This is the best 3D you’ve ever seen. | 这会是你见过的最好的3D电视 |
| [03:57] | It’s gonna be amazing! | 肯定能震住你! |
| [04:00] | Who are you looking at? | 你看谁呢? |
| [04:08] | Mr. Lee! | 李先生! |
| [04:09] | Want me to call you a cab… | 要不要我给你叫个出租车 |
| [04:10] | …a town car, a limo? It’s not safe… | 或者轿车 现在外边有点… |
| [04:12] | …out there. – No, thanks, Kenneth. | – 不太安全啊 – 不用了 谢谢 肯尼思 |
| [04:14] | I got a buddy picking me up. | 我已经找人来接我了 |
| [04:17] | One more thing! Merry Christmas to you… | 还有件事! 哈罗德 |
| [04:20] | …Harold, and Happy New Year! | 圣诞快乐 恭贺新春! |
| [04:21] | Hey, over there. | 嘿 !在那边呢 |
| [04:22] | We got another one. | 我们逮到了另一个 |
| [04:23] | Don’t worry, Mr. Lee. I’ll distract them. | 别担心 李先生 我帮你拖住他们 |
| [04:27] | Hey… | 嘿… |
| [04:28] | …angry protesters! I just got a huge Christmas bonus… | 愤怒的抗议者们! 刚才可发了我一大笔年终奖哦 |
| [04:31] | …so you can suck my rich, yellow… | 有本事来吸我的又大又黄的… |
| [04:33] | …dick! | …鸡巴! |
| [04:47] | Get him! | 抓住他! |
| [05:20] | HAROLD: Dude! | 哥们! |
| [05:21] | Open the door! | 快开门! |
| [05:23] | Unh. Thank God you’re here. | 幸亏你在这 |
| [05:25] | I thought those hippies were gonna kill you. | 我觉得那些痞子肯定想宰了你 |
| [05:28] | Shoo! Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo! | 走开 走开 走开 |
| [05:30] | Just drive. Todd, drive. | 托德 开车 |
| [05:33] | No, no, no! No, no, no! | 不要 不要 不要 不要啊! |
| [05:35] | Oh, great. | 哦 好吧 |
| [05:36] | Now we’re getting tinkled on. | 我们现在都能看到他们的”小叮当”了 |
| [05:37] | – It’s just urine. It’ll wash out. – Oh, Harry. | – 这只是尿而已 洗得掉的 – 哈里 |
| [05:39] | Tinkle on the windshield is the grossest thing… | 在挡风玻璃上的”小叮当”还真是… |
| [05:42] | …that has ever happened to me. | 我碰到过最恶心的事了 |
| [05:55] | It smells like shit in here. | 闻着像屎坑一样 |
| [06:07] | Hey… | 嘿 |
| [06:09] | …neighbor. – Hey, man. | – 我的好邻居 – 嘿 哥们 |
| [06:10] | What’s up? What are you…? | 最近怎么样啊 干嘛呢? |
| [06:11] | You’re here a little early. You didn’t go to the bathroom? | 今天回来的挺早的啊 你没去厕所吧? |
| [06:15] | No, Why? | 没 怎么了? |
| [06:17] | I made a mess. | 我拉屎了 |
| [06:18] | ADRIAN: Right. Don’t talk about it. | 行了 别说出来啊 |
| [06:20] | What the hell’s going on? | 你他妈搞什么? |
| [06:21] | Relax. It’s not what it looks like. | 放松 别想歪了 |
| [06:23] | Unless it looks like I rent your bathroom for homeless people to shit in. | 我就是让无家可归的可怜人来拉个屎而已 |
| [06:27] | Then it’s what it looks like. | 就是这样的 |
| [06:28] | The fuck? | 搞你妹啊 |
| [06:29] | It’s the coffee at the shelter. | 避难所的咖啡过期了 |
| [06:31] | It’s powerful, man. | 实在是憋不住了 兄弟 |
| [06:33] | Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. | 圣诞快乐 恭贺新禧啊 |
| [06:36] | Okay, next, please. Move. | 下一个 下一个 快点 |
| [06:38] | No. Hey, no. | 别 别 |
| [06:39] | I was gonna split the profits with you… | 我会跟你分成的 |
| [06:41] | …which at a buck a dump, comes out to be 40 bucks. | 一泡屎40大洋啊 |
| [06:45] | – I don’t wa… Seriously, 40 bucks? – Yeah. | – 我才不…你开玩笑吧 40大洋 – 没错 |
| [06:47] | Oh. That reminds me. Remember that chick I met on the Internet? | 你到是提醒我了 还记得我在网上泡的那个妞不? |
| [06:50] | – The one with the huge clit? – No, not Clitzilla. | – 下面特别大的那个? – 不 不是她 |
| [06:54] | I’m talking about Mary. | 我是说玛丽 |
| [06:55] | Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Virgin Mary. | 哦 对对 那个处女玛丽 |
| [06:58] | Yes, exactly. Well, get this. She wants me… | 一点没错 你看 他要我… |
| [07:00] | …to deflower her. | …去帮她破处 |
| [07:03] | Tonight. Christmas Eve. | 就今晚 平安夜 |
| [07:04] | At a party she’s throwing in Manhattan. Best part: | 她会在曼哈顿的家里 办一个派对 |
| [07:07] | – You’re coming with me. – No can do, man. | – 你跟我一起去吧 – 我去不了 |
| [07:09] | I gotta stay here and smoke this weed, otherwise I won’t get high. | 我要呆在家里吸大麻, 其它任何事都不能让我飘飘欲仙 |
| [07:12] | Why not ask your roommate? | 咋不问问你的室友呢? |
| [07:14] | Because you’re the best. I don’t wanna go with him. | 因为你才是最佳人选 我才不想跟他去呢 |
| [07:17] | I already asked him. | 其实我问过他了 |
| [07:17] | He said no. He’s spending Christmas… | 他说不去 他准备和他那傻逼女朋友 |
| [07:20] | …with his stupid girlfriend. | 一起过圣诞节 |
| [07:22] | Mm. This is what happens. They get a girlfriend… | 嗯 这是有了女朋友之后 必然要发生的事 |
| [07:25] | …then they get married… | 等他们结婚了 |
| [07:27] | …then you never hear from them again. | 然后你就再也没有他们的消息了 |
| [07:31] | Fuck it, I’m in. | 操! 我决定去了 |
| [07:32] | Yes. | 太好了 |
| [07:34] | TODD: What are we doing here, Harry? | 在这停车干什么 哈利 |
| [07:36] | You know what Dr. Oz says? | 你知道奥兹医生怎么说的吗? |
| [07:38] | Guys our age need to watch… | 我们这个年纪的男人 |
| [07:40] | …our cholesterol. – Yeah, I know. | – 要注意胆固醇 – 嗯 我知道 |
| [07:41] | I’m in for a really stressful weekend. I just needed some comfort food. | 我就要度过压力巨大的一周了 我需要些东西放松一下 |
| [07:45] | Don’t get too comfortable. Keep your game face on for your father-in-law. | 别放松过头了 集中精神搞定你岳父才是主要的 |
| [07:49] | – Did you stock the fridge? – I did. | – 冰箱装满东西了吗? – 装满了 |
| [07:50] | – With ethnic items that he might need? – I did. | – 装了他喜欢的土特产了吗? – 装了 |
| [07:53] | – Did you Pledge the banister? – Check. | – 装护栏了? – 搞定 |
| [07:55] | – Did you get the potpourri balls? – Yes. | – 买了百味球了? – 买了 |
| [07:57] | Letting him have the master bedroom? | 让他住大房了? |
| [07:59] | No. | 没 |
| [08:00] | Harry. Unh! No, no, no. | 哈利 这可不行啊 |
| [08:03] | Might have S’ed the bed on that. | 你还准备大房里”育种”啊 |
| [08:04] | You can curse in front of me. Baby’s not here. | 你小孩又不在 直接说就是了 |
| [08:07] | I know. Force of habit. Just… | 我知道 就是习惯了 |
| [08:08] | – Here you go. – Oh, thank you. | – 给你 – 哦 谢了 |
| [08:11] | – That’s a Mr. Pibb, Sprite, Diet Coke suicide? MAN: Correct. | – 雪碧和无糖可乐对吗? – 没错 |
| [08:14] | – There you go. – Thank you, kind sir. | – 那好咯 – 谢了 |
| [08:17] | Oh, by the way, you got shit all over your car. | 哦 顺便说一句 你车上都是屎啊 |
| [08:21] | Thank you for the update. Don’t appreciate the language. | 谢谢提醒啊 说话还是文明点好 |
| [08:23] | Everybody’s got a potty mouth these days. | 这些年人们老爱说脏话 |
| [08:26] | It is a G-D shame. | 真TM的丢人 |
| [08:28] | And they’ll burn in H. | 这种人会下那什么的 |
| [08:34] | TODD: Wow, the Jewish neighbors must hate this. | 哇哦 你的犹太邻居肯定不太喜欢这样 |
| [08:38] | Well, Harry. Harry. | 哈利啊 |
| [08:40] | You have outdone yourself. | 你比去年做的还过头 |
| [08:42] | HAROLD: If you knew Maria’s dad… | 如果你了解玛丽亚的爸爸 |
| [08:43] | …you’d pull out all the stops too. | 你也会全力以赴的 |
| [08:45] | Has not accepted you as part of the family? | 他们还没把你当成一家人啊? |
| [08:47] | No, not yet. But he’s a huge fan of Christmas. | 是啊 还没 但是他爸可是超级圣诞 粉哦! |
| [08:50] | I’m hoping when he sees… | 我希望他看到我做的这些 |
| [08:51] | …all the work, he appreciates it. | 会超级感动 |
| [08:53] | Oh, so smart. | 真聪明啊你 |
| [08:55] | – Merry Christmas. – Merry Christmas. | – 圣诞快乐 – 圣诞快乐 |
| [08:56] | Oh. Jinx. | 哦 霉运全给你 |
| [08:58] | You always do that. You keep doing it. It’s crazy. | 你总是这么说 继续吧 真有点疯狂 |
| [09:01] | Okay, I’ll Skype you later or text you. | 好的 晚点咱们上网语音或者发短信 |
| [09:04] | Or both. | 或者两者并用 |
| [09:06] | Maria! | 玛丽亚 |
| [09:08] | Oh, hi there. Somebody’s looking… | 哦 你好啊 某人今天看起来可是… |
| [09:10] | …uh, very merry today. | 呃..非常非常” 快乐 ” 哦 |
| [09:13] | Somebody is also… | 某人的大姨妈 |
| [09:15] | …ovulating. | 也来了 |
| [09:18] | Um… Um… | |
| [09:20] | Your dad is gonna be here any minute, | 你爸可能随时会到, |
| [09:21] | though. Honestly, that’s… | 可是…老实说…真的是… |
| [09:23] | – Baby. Then let’s get to it. – Oh! | – 宝贝啊 赶紧的吧 – 哦! |
| [09:26] | Because when they get here… | 等他们来了 |
| [09:28] | …we are going to have no private time. | 咱俩就没私人时间了 |
| [09:32] | I don’t know if we should. | 我不知道我们该不该 |
| [09:34] | Now, come on and fuck a baby into me. | 赶紧操给我一个孩子吧 |
| [09:37] | Okay, I will. | 好吧 |
| [09:41] | Two-hander. Okay. Ha-ha-ha. | 好戏上演了 |
| [09:43] | If it’s a baby I gotta give you, it’s a baby you’re gonna get. | 你要小孩的话我马上给你 你马上就会有小孩 |
| [09:49] | BOTH: Shit. | 完了 |
| [09:52] | Go. Go. | 上去 上去 |
| [09:57] | Be cool. | 冷静点 |
| [10:02] | Carlos, Merry Christmas. | 圣诞快乐! 卡洛斯 |
| [10:05] | Hello, Harold. | 你好 哈罗德 |
| [10:07] | You made the drive in record time. Didn’t speed, did you? | 你又创造了新的驾驶记录了啊 没有超速吧? |
| [10:14] | Empanadas? | 肉馅卷饼行吗? |
| [10:17] | Where’s Maria? | 玛丽亚呢? |
| [10:18] | She’s upstairs… | 她正在楼上 |
| [10:19] | getting read | 做准备 |
| [10:20] | Can I get you a beer? | 给你拿杯啤酒好吗? |
| [10:22] | What the hell is that? | 那是什么鬼东西? |
| [10:25] | She caught your eye, huh? Ha, ha. | 她真迷人 是不? 哈哈 |
| [10:28] | This is our Christmas tree. | 这就是我们的圣诞树 |
| [10:30] | Is it fake? | 是假树吗? |
| [10:32] | It’s faux, actually. | 实际上是人造假树 |
| [10:33] | You celebrating real Christmas… | 你是过真正的圣诞节… |
| [10:35] | …or a faux Christmas? | 还是人造圣诞节? |
| [10:37] | Real Christmas? | 真正的圣诞节? |
| [10:39] | Then why the hell would you buy a faux tree? | 那你他妈为什么买人造树? |
| [10:41] | It’s an investment, really. | 这个其实是投资的 |
| [10:43] | MARIA: Daddy. | 老爸 |
| [10:44] | Daddy! | 老爸! |
| [10:46] | God. | 天 |
| [10:47] | MARIA: I’ve missed you! | 我好想你! |
| [10:49] | And the whole family… | 咱们全家人… |
| [10:50] | …is here. | 都来了啊 |
| [10:53] | Hi… | 嗨 |
| [10:54] | …everybody! | 大家好啊! |
| [10:56] | Oh, God. | 天呐 |
| [11:00] | Oh. I guess Timo… | 我想提摩 |
| [11:02] | …made parole. | 已经假释出来了吧 |
| [11:03] | Uh, not exactly. | 不完全是 |
| [11:05] | Hey! Let’s take a picture. Everybody! | 嘿 大家伙来照张相吧! |
| [11:10] | You take it. | 你来拍 |
| [11:11] | You people are real good with those things. | 你们这种人比较擅长做这种事 |
| [11:15] | HAROLD: It’s just the weekend. | 他们只呆一个周末 |
| [11:17] | It’s just the weekend. | 忍忍就过去了 |
| [11:23] | Has this ever happened to you? | 你碰到过类似的事情吗? |
| [11:24] | This stupid waffle’s stuck. | 这个傻缺的华夫机卡住了 |
| [11:28] | MOM: Oh, my God! Billy! | 哦 我的天那 比利! |
| [11:29] | – Heh-heh-heh. MOM: George, call 911! | – 嘿嘿嘿 – 乔治 赶紧打911! |
| [11:30] | NARRATOR: How about this? | 这玩意真烂透了 |
| [11:31] | This is fucked up. | 这种意外发生过吗? |
| [11:35] | Well, it doesn’t have to any more. | 以后再也不会发生这些状况了 |
| [11:37] | Introducing WaffleBot. | 向你们介绍华夫伯特 |
| [11:40] | BOTH: WaffleBot! | 华夫伯特! |
| [11:43] | Just pop the top, let that batter drop | 只要把材料倒进去 按下开关… |
| [11:45] | and WaffleBot does the rest | 剩下的就交给华夫伯特 |
| [11:48] | Make every breakfast a Bot-fast. | 每天的早餐都变成机器自动化 |
| [11:50] | BOTH: Thanks, WaffleBot! | 谢谢 华夫伯特! |
| [11:53] | WAFFLEBOT I love you. | 我爱你们 |
| [11:55] | Get the Christmas | 圣诞热销之际 |
| [11:56] | …toy of the season while they’re hot. | 买一个华夫伯特吧 |
| [12:00] | KUMAR: I’m busy, Adrian! Go away! | 我忙着呢 艾德里安 一边儿玩去! |
| [12:03] | VANESSA: Kumar! It’s Vanessa. | 库玛 是我 凡妮莎! |
| [12:07] | Hey. Looks like somebody missed me. | 嘿 看来某人可是想我了哦 |
| [12:09] | Come on in. | 进来吧 |
| [12:11] | Since when do you have a beard? | 你什么时候开始留胡子了? |
| [12:13] | I actually have not shaved since you left. Pretty romantic. | 事实上你走了以后我就没刮过 这样显得多有情调 |
| [12:17] | Kind of like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. | 有点像《恋恋笔记本》中瑞恩? 高斯林 扮演的角色 |
| [12:19] | VANESSA: When’s the last time you cleaned? | 你上次收拾房间是什么时候了? |
| [12:21] | Like three months ago. | 好像三个月前 |
| [12:23] | Less romantic? | 少点情调? |
| [12:25] | Little bit, yeah. | 根本没有 |
| [12:26] | I’m sorry, where are my manners? Here. Here. | 真对不起 我失礼了 抽吧 抽吧 |
| [12:28] | Oh, no, no, no. | 哦 不不不 |
| [12:29] | No, I shouldn’t. | 我不能抽 |
| [12:31] | Of course you should. | 你当然能啊 |
| [12:32] | Kumar, I really need to talk to you. | 库玛 我得跟你谈谈 |
| [12:37] | I’m pregnant. | 我怀孕了 |
| [12:39] | You’re pregnant? | 你怀孕了? |
| [12:40] | We… | 我们 |
| [12:41] | We practiced safe sex. | 我们一直在避孕 |
| [12:44] | I mean, I pulled out and came on your back. | 我是说 我都是先拨出来 然后射在你背上的 |
| [12:46] | A couple squeaks got by… | 或许有时候会失误吧 |
| [12:47] | …but is that all it takes? – Yes. | – 但大多数都挺管用的 是不? – 是啊 |
| [12:49] | That’s all. No wonder you flunked out of med school | 就是这样 所以你进医学院的考试才不及格 |
| [12:52] | I didn’t flunk out of med school. | 我不是因为考试不及格而没进医学院 |
| [12:54] | I failed a drug test. | 而是因为我药检没通过 |
| [12:55] | How do I even know… | 我怎么知道… |
| [12:56] | …that the baby’s mine? | 这个孩子是不是我的? |
| [12:58] | I haven’t slept with anyone since we broke up. | 分手之后我就没跟别人睡过 |
| [13:00] | Nice. | 是啊 |
| [13:02] | What do you want to do about it? | 你打算怎么办? |
| [13:04] | All right, um… | 这个… |
| [13:14] | This is the part where the kid’s tongue… | 这地方演到这孩子的舌头 |
| [13:16] | …gets stuck to a pole. Ha, ha. | 粘到树干上了 哈哈哈 |
| [13:18] | Oh. Ha, ha. I’m sorry. | 哈哈 真抱歉 |
| [13:20] | Um, are we having a conversation right now, or are you watching A Christmas Story? | 我们不是在谈正经事吗 还是你正在看圣诞小故事? |
| [13:24] | Both. No. | 同时进行 不是 |
| [13:26] | – I mean… – You know what? I knew you… | – 我的意思是… – 你知道吗? 我一猜 |
| [13:29] | …couldn’t handle this. – I’m sorry. | – 你肯定处理不了这事 – 真抱歉 |
| [13:31] | I’m really high. | 我真挺嗨的 |
| [13:32] | This is not about you being high. This is about you being immature. | 这跟你嗨不嗨没关系 而是你根本不成熟 |
| [13:35] | It’s why I couldn’t stay here any more. | 所以我才不想一直呆在这 |
| [13:38] | You are perfectly fine creating a mess… | 你最擅长捅娄子了 |
| [13:40] | …but when it comes to cleaning one up… | 一到该你弥补错误的时候 |
| [13:43] | …you’re MIA. | 你就消失的无影无踪了 |
| [13:44] | Give me a half hour… | 给我半个小时 |
| [13:45] | …to sober up. | 让我缓缓神 |
| [13:47] | Fuck. | 操 |
| [13:55] | Dad, you good? You need a drink or…? No? Okay. | 老爹 你想喝点? 不要? 好的 |
| [14:00] | – Maria. I love you. – Ha, ha. | – 玛丽亚 我爱你 – 哈哈 |
| [14:02] | Glad your family’s here. | 真高兴你家人都来了 |
| [14:04] | I’m just wondering… | 我就是在想… |
| [14:05] | …how we’re gonna deal with the Christmas party with all these extra guests. | 怎样来招待这些来 参加圣诞节派对的客人们呢 |
| [14:09] | We’ll make it work. We have plenty of room. | 我们能行 我们有那么多房间呢 |
| [14:11] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:13] | I’m sorry. | 真对不起 |
| [14:14] | I left my wallet upstairs. Thank you. | 我把钱包落楼上了 谢谢 |
| [14:17] | Harold. | 哈罗德 |
| [14:18] | Hey, speaking of guests… | 说到邀请的客人 |
| [14:20] | …are you sure you don’t wanna invite Kumar? | 你真的不打算请库玛来吗? |
| [14:23] | Kumar? You kidding me? I haven’t seen that guy in years. | 库玛? 别逗了 我跟这家伙有年头没见了 |
| [14:26] | MARIA: Kumar has been… | 库玛已经 |
| [14:27] | …your friend for a long time. – It is perfectly normal. | – 跟你做了好久好久的朋友啊 – 这很正常啊 |
| [14:30] | People lose half their friends every seven years. | 人们每七年都会失去一半的朋友 |
| [14:33] | It’s not like I don’t have friends. | 又不代表我没朋友了 |
| [14:35] | – Todd? Yeah, he’s a lot of fun. – At least he doesn’t… | -托德? 是啊 他倒是很搞笑 – 至少他不会 |
| [14:38] | …create a disaster everywhere he goes. | 无论到哪都制造麻烦吧 |
| [14:42] | Ah, okay. | 哦 好吧 |
| [14:49] | Rosetta Stone. | 翻译软件学的 |
| [14:52] | A lifesaver. | 救我于水火之中 |
| [15:04] | KUMAR: Be right there! | 来了! |
| [15:14] | Harold? He hasn’t lived here in so long. | 哈罗德收? 他都好久不住这了 |
| [15:22] | Maybe we can… | 也许我们能… |
| [15:24] | Are you sure we have to… | 你确定我们要 |
| [15:26] | …throw it out? – This tree is a cancer. | – 把它扔了? – 这树跟得了癌症似的 |
| [15:28] | We have to get rid of it before it kills Christmas. | 在它破坏掉圣诞气氛之前得赶紧处理了 |
| [15:30] | Very intense wording. | 你真会挑词 |
| [15:38] | MARIA: Wow! Oh, my God. | 哇哦 我的天那 |
| [15:40] | I can’t believe you brought the tree. Ha-ha-ha. | 真难以置信你居然带了一棵树来 哈哈哈 |
| [15:43] | Am I missing something? | 有什么我不知道的吗? |
| [15:45] | Every Christmas we use a tree that Dad grew. | 每年的圣诞节我们都要用爸爸种的树 |
| [15:47] | – Oh. MR. PEREZ: Twelve-foot Fraser fir. | – 哦 3米6的加拿大冷衫 |
| [15:50] | Look at the branch distribution. | 看看这些树枝长的多均匀 |
| [15:51] | Oh, I see. | 哦 我看到了 |
| [15:52] | Hey, hey! | 嘿 别碰 |
| [15:54] | She’s very delicate. | 她很精致的 |
| [15:55] | I’ve been growing her for eight years. | 这树我种了八年了 |
| [15:58] | Eight years, wow. I never knew Christmas trees were such a big deal. | 八年 哇哦 我从没想到 一棵圣诞树居然这么重要 |
| [16:03] | Oh, God. | 神啊 又说错话了 |
| [16:05] | Not a big deal? | 无关紧要? |
| [16:06] | Let me tell you a story, Harold. | 哈罗德 我给你讲个故事 |
| [16:08] | Growing up in Medellin… | 我从小在莫德林长大 |
| [16:10] | …my family was too poor to celebrate Christmas properly. | 我家很困难 没有太多钱去准备圣诞节的东西 |
| [16:16] | “Please, let me wake up and find a big, beautiful Christmas tree. “ | “我希望当我早上醒来的时候 会有一棵大大的圣诞树” |
| [16:21] | And every Christmas… | 但是每年的圣诞节 |
| [16:24] | …I was heartbroken. | 我的愿望都未成真 |
| [16:25] | When my mother finally moved me to America… | 当我妈妈带着我来到美国后 |
| [16:28] | …she promised me we would have… | 从那个时候起 她向我保证 |
| [16:31] | …a Christmas tree every Christmas from then on. | 我们以后过的每个圣诞节 都会有圣诞树相伴 |
| [16:34] | But one week before that first Christmas, while walking home from work… | 可是在我们到达美国后的 第一个圣诞节前一周 |
| [16:39] | …she was violently attacked… | 当她下班回家的时候 遭到了 |
| [16:41] | …by a gang of Korean punks. | 一伙韩国小混混抢劫 |
| [16:57] | They stabbed her multiple times. | 他们刺了她好几刀 |
| [16:59] | – Fucking kill her! – Whoo! | – 杀了她 – 哇 |
| [17:04] | She bled to death. | 她是流血过多而死的 |
| [17:05] | So I guess… | 所以 我觉得 |
| [17:07] | …you could say, yes, a Christmas tree is a big deal. | 你会说是的 圣诞树真的是一件很重要的事 |
| [17:10] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [17:14] | – Why didn’t you tell me? I’m sorry. | – 你干吗不早告诉我? – 抱歉 |
| [17:16] | Pepe! Where are the ornaments? | 皮皮 我们装饰圣诞树的东西呢? |
| [17:18] | I don’t know. | 我不知道啊 |
| [17:19] | My eyes are all fucked up. | 我眼睛看不清东西 |
| [17:20] | You can’t celebrate Christmas with a naked tree! | 不能拿棵光溜溜的树来过圣诞节吧 |
| [17:22] | It’s indecent! | 简直就是对节日的亵渎 |
| [17:24] | Maria, forget about midnight Mass. | 玛丽亚 晚上的家庭聚会还是算了吧 |
| [17:26] | Tonight, we’re decorating the tree. | 今晚我们的任务是装饰圣诞对 |
| [17:28] | Oh, Daddy, I wanted to spend tonight in the city… | 啊 爸爸 可是我想 |
| [17:30] | with you guys. | 和你们一起去城里 |
| [17:31] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [17:34] | I got this. | 这事我来办吧 |
| [17:36] | I’ll take care of the tree. You have a family night in Manhattan. | 树交给我. 你们全家今晚去曼哈顿玩 |
| [17:40] | No. No, no, no. | 不 不 不 不 |
| [17:41] | We brought the tree all the way down. | 这树我们一直带着 |
| [17:43] | It has to look perfect on Christmas morning. | 在圣诞节的早上 必须得装饰 的美美的摆在那 |
| [17:46] | Carlos, it will. | 卡洛斯 那会成真的 |
| [17:47] | Tell me exactly what you want and I’ll take care of it. | 告诉我具体要怎么做 我会好好打理的 |
| [17:50] | When you come back, the tree will be decorated. | 当你们回来的时候 树就已经装扮好了 |
| [17:53] | This house, I promise you, is gonna be perfect. | 我保证 肯定会非常完美 |
| [18:05] | ADRIAN: You know, I like the beard, but I love clean-shaven you. | 网名叫BT的 今晚要见的那个? 她叫玛丽 |
| [18:09] | You look like an Indian Don Draper. | 还是处女玛丽 怎么样? |
| [18:11] | What did Vanessa do to suck… | 今天下午 |
| [18:13] | …the life out of you… | 那个甩了你的凡妮莎 |
| [18:14] | …this afternoon? | 找你什么事 |
| [18:16] | I don’t have anyone else to confide in. I might as well tell you. Uh… | 我没有别人可倾诉了 只能告诉你 |
| [18:20] | Vanessa’s pregnan… | 凡妮莎的怀孕 |
| [18:21] | A queefer. | 在放屁 |
| [18:22] | – What? – I knew it. | – 什么? – 我知道 |
| [18:24] | I used to date this black chick, | 我以前跟一个黑妞约会过 |
| [18:26] | she used to queef every time we had sex. | 每次我们做爱的时候她都会放屁 |
| [18:28] | It was ridiculous. I used to call her Queen Laqueefa. | 简直就是扯蛋. 我以前常叫她是放屁女王 |
| [18:32] | When was the last time you saw this guy? | 你最后一次见到他是什么时候? |
| [18:34] | – Two years ago. – So… | – 两年前 – 所以 |
| [18:36] | …why are we dropping off this package? | 为什么我们要把包裹放到他家门口 |
| [18:38] | You said this guy was a chode. | 你说过这家伙是个混球 |
| [18:40] | He is, all right? | 他确实是 好吧? |
| [18:41] | I just… I don’t want his shit in my place. | 我只是不想在我 的地盘里放着他的垃圾 |
| [18:45] | Can we put on some Wu-Tang? | 放点武唐的歌行不? |
| [18:47] | What? No. No Wu-Tang, okay? Christmas music. I like it. | 什么? 不行 不行 圣诞音乐 我喜欢 |
| [18:50] | Because you weren’t brought up… | 不能因为你被甩了 |
| [18:52] | …normal, doesn’t mean you should ruin it. | …很惨 我就不能乐一乐 |
| [18:54] | You’re Jewish. | 你好歹是犹太人 |
| [18:55] | I know, right? | 我知道 |
| [18:59] | KUMAR: Sure this is the right address? | 你确定这个地址正确? |
| [19:01] | Whoa. Looks like your ex-boyf’s moving up in the world. Heh. | 哇哦.看来你的前任男友已经加 入上流社会了哦 |
| [19:05] | I guess. | 我想也是 |
| [19:07] | I’ll be right back. I’m just gonna drop this off. | 我把它放门口就回来 |
| [19:14] | Big house, lot of bathrooms. | 房子大 房间多 |
| [19:17] | Lot of poopies, lot of money. | 钱多 大麻估计不少 |
| [19:19] | Daddy likes. | 哥喜欢 |
| [19:41] | Fuck! | 我靠! |
| [19:48] | Kumar? | 库玛? |
| [19:51] | Hello, Harold. | 你好 哈罗德 |
| [19:54] | – Hey. – Hey. | – 嘿. – 嘿 |
| [19:56] | – Hey. – I was… | – 嘿 – 我刚刚在… |
| [19:58] | – How are you? Good to see you. – Oh, hey. | – 你还好吗? 真高兴见到你 – 哦 嘿 |
| [20:01] | – How you doing? – Good to see you too. Good. | – 你好吗 – 也很高兴见到你 |
| [20:03] | You got a package that came for you at the apartment. So I was dropping it off. | 有一个你的包裹送到我的公寓去了 所以我送过来 |
| [20:08] | Oh. Okay, cool. | 哦 好吧 |
| [20:10] | You look terrific. You lose weight? | 你看起来不错啊 减肥了? |
| [20:12] | No. Gained. Quite a bit, actually. This is a really nice house. | 不 事实上 胖了一点 房子真漂亮 |
| [20:18] | No. You know. | 你知道 |
| [20:20] | Do you want to come in for a drink… | 你想进来喝点 |
| [20:23] | …or something? | …什么吗? |
| [20:24] | Um… | 嗯… |
| [20:27] | Christmas, Christmas | 圣诞节 圣诞节 |
| [20:29] | Do you not have time? | 没时间? |
| [20:30] | – Oh. – Oh. | – 哦 – 哦 |
| [20:33] | – Come in, come in. Come in. Come on. – Sure. | – 进来吧 请进 – 好吧 |
| [20:37] | Watch your step, it’s icy there. | 注意脚下 这地方有冰 |
| [20:40] | Eggnog? Empanadas? | 蛋酒? 还是吃点肉馅卷饼? |
| [20:42] | Uh… Sure. Yeah. | 呃…好吧 |
| [20:45] | Hey, this place is, like, not shitty. | 嘿 这地看起来 还不赖 |
| [20:48] | Oh. Thank you. Yeah. | 谢谢 |
| [20:51] | Bay window is brand-new, actually. We just put that in last week. | 凸窗部分是全新的 实际上 上星期才弄好 |
| [20:55] | The sconces are new. Sconces are actually brand-new. | 那些烛台也都是新的 烛台实际上是全新的 |
| [20:58] | Yeah, I was gonna say, it looks like you guys got some awesome sconces. | 是啊 我正要说呢 你弄的这些 烛台真好看 |
| [21:03] | Thank you. That’s very sweet of you. | 谢谢 你真是太好了 |
| [21:05] | So, what’s up with this package? | 这包裹怎么回事啊? |
| [21:08] | HAROLD: My name and your address. That’s weird. | 收件人是我 收件地址却是你家 很怪异 |
| [21:11] | I haven’t lived there for so long. | 我好久都不在那住了 |
| [21:13] | I know. That’s strange. | 我知道 所以才说很怪异 |
| [21:16] | HAROLD: Whoa. | 哇哦 |
| [21:22] | Ooh. | 哦 |
| [21:25] | HAROLD: What the hell is this? | 这他妈的是什么东西 |
| [21:27] | That’s a gigantic joint. What do you think? | 好大一枝大麻烟啊 你觉得呢? |
| [21:29] | HAROLD: Is this a joke? | 开玩笑啊? |
| [21:31] | – No. I swear. – Did you do this? | – 绝对不是 我发誓 – 这事是你干的吗? |
| [21:32] | Had I known, I would have smoked it. | 我要是知道的话早就抽了 |
| [21:35] | Is there a…? | 这有没有? |
| [21:37] | No return address. | 没有送件人地址 |
| [21:38] | I don’t even see any stamps on this. | 我以前都没见过这种邮票 |
| [21:42] | What are you doing? | 你在干吗? |
| [21:43] | Getting not low. | 摆脱苦闷 |
| [21:44] | No smoking in this house. | 别在这屋里抽 |
| [21:46] | What? What douche came up with that rule? | 什么? 哪个傻逼定的规矩啊? |
| [21:48] | HAROLD: This douche did. | 就是我 |
| [21:57] | That was good shit. | 这东西真他娘的好 |
| [21:59] | HAROLD: I don’t care, okay? | 我不在乎这个 好吧? |
| [22:00] | I don’t smoke any more. | 我已经戒了 |
| [22:02] | – What? – I just felt… | – 什么? – 我就是觉得 |
| [22:03] | …that a lot of times when I got high… | 我抽大麻的时候 确实很爽 |
| [22:06] | …things would go really wrong. 80… | 但或许这种行为是不对的 |
| [22:08] | But, Harold, weed is so good. | 但是 哈罗德 大麻是多好的东西啊. |
| [22:11] | It gets you high. | 能让你飘飘欲仙 |
| [22:12] | I got nothing against weed, okay? | 我不是说大麻不好 |
| [22:14] | Had plenty of fun times with weed. But I’m an adult now. | 吸大麻的日子是挺爽的 但我现在已经成熟了 |
| [22:17] | And frankly, I’m kind of glad that | 坦白说 我倒是觉得能摆脱 |
| [22:18] | the craziness is behind me. | 从前那些疯狂的日子觉得开心 |
| [22:20] | Do you smell something burning? | 有没有闻到有东西烧糊的味? |
| [22:24] | BOTH: Oh, shit! | 我靠! |
| [22:25] | KUMAR: Oh, shit. – Shit. | – 我靠 – 我靠 |
| [22:27] | Shit! | 我靠 |
| [22:29] | It’s spreading. It’s spreading! | 越烧越大了 越烧越大了 |
| [22:30] | Here. | 这个 |
| [22:32] | Bah, bah, bah! Not the throw pillows! | 别扔枕头啊! |
| [22:34] | Seriously? | 认真的? |
| [22:38] | I did it anyway! | 反正我扔了! |
| [22:39] | HAROLD: What the fuck?! | 搞毛啊 |
| [22:47] | Shit! | 我操! |
| [22:48] | HAROLD: Maria’s dad will kill me! | 玛丽亚的爹肯定得杀了我! |
| [22:49] | Stop yelling! | 别喊了 |
| [22:50] | We gotta get rid of this tree! | 得把这树处理了 |
| [22:53] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [23:06] | That’s why you gotta buy those faux trees. They last forever. | 这就是为什么人造数好 他至少能永久使用 |
| [23:11] | Calm down. It’s just a Christmas tree. | 冷静点 不过就是棵圣诞树嘛 |
| [23:13] | “Just a Christmas tree”? | “就是棵圣诞树”? |
| [23:15] | Maria’s dad grew that tree… | 玛丽亚的爸爸亲手种的啊 |
| [23:17] | …and now it is dead. | 现在烧成灰了 |
| [23:19] | Koreans have killed his mother, and now this tree. Christmas is ruined. | 韩国人杀了他妈妈 现在就轮到这棵树 圣诞节都毁了 |
| [23:22] | Christmas isn’t ruined. | 圣诞节还没毁啊 |
| [23:23] | Yes, it is. You have ruined Christmas. | 是的 没有 是你亲手搞砸的 |
| [23:26] | They’re gonna come home from Mass and expect to see… | 他们本来在聚会过后回家来能看到 |
| [23:28] | …a decorated tree, but they are gonna see that. | 一棵装饰的超漂亮的圣诞树 但是他们只能看到这个 |
| [23:31] | Dude, you’re overreacting. There’s plenty of tree lots. | 伙计 你有点反应过度了. 世界上还有好多圣诞树嘛 |
| [23:34] | We’ll drive around till we find the right tree. | 我们开车找找 找到一棵合适的 |
| [23:37] | We’re not gonna do anything. | 我们什么都不做 |
| [23:39] | You know what? Um, this is my fault. | 你知道吧 这是我的错 |
| [23:42] | I take full responsibility. Please leave. | 我事我负全责 你走吧. |
| [23:44] | I will take care of this. Thank you. | 我来处理 谢谢 拜托了 |
| [23:47] | – I don’t mind helping out… – I got it. | – 我不介意帮你搞定- – 我知道了 |
| [23:49] | – We have a van… – I got it. | – 我们有个小货车 – 我知道了 |
| [23:53] | Okay. You got it. | 好吧 你知道了 |
| [23:54] | – You need anything, just give me… – Merry Christmas. | – 你要是有任何需要 就叫我 – 圣诞快乐 |
| [24:00] | Merry Christmas, Harold. | 圣诞快乐 哈罗德 |
| [24:06] | What the fuck took so long? | 搞毛啊 弄这么久? |
| [24:07] | Nothing. Let’s just go. | 没什么 走吧 |
| [24:09] | You never told me Harold was Asian. | 你从没告诉我哈罗德是个亚洲人 |
| [24:11] | I always pictured an old white guy. | 我一直以为是个白人老头呢 |
| [24:19] | TODD: Freeze! This is a robbery. Give me all your friendship. | 不准动 打劫 抢劫你的友情 |
| [24:22] | Oh, wow, look at that. | 哇哦 瞧瞧 |
| [24:23] | You know, it’s kind of better than a window. | 我跟你说啊 这个可比原先那个 窗户强多了 |
| [24:25] | It’s like a stained-glass window of paper. | 看着像贴着彩色窗花的玻璃 |
| [24:28] | Any luck with the tree? | 树的事有信吗? |
| [24:29] | Oh, you brought Ava. | 哦 你把艾娃带来了 |
| [24:30] | Uh, yeah, sorry. I have Ava. | 呃 是的 我把她带来了 |
| [24:31] | It’s “3D.” | 是”3D” |
| [24:33] | Hmm? | 哈? |
| [24:34] | Daddy-Daughter Day. | 父-女-节 |
| [24:35] | You can’t back out of Daddy-Daughter Day… | 你不能在父女节里食言 |
| [24:37] | …because Emma says that | 因为爱玛说了那会在女儿未来 |
| [24:39] | leads to abandonment issues… | 的成长过程中导致一系列坏的影响 |
| [24:40] | …and then stripping and meth and biker boyfriend. | 像是脱光光啊 嗑兴奋剂啊 还有早恋啊 |
| [24:43] | – All bad things. – Ah. | – 所有不好的事情 – 哦 |
| [24:44] | – The tree, though. – Yes, so I called… | – 那树的事. – 是 我打过电话了 |
| [24:47] | Oh, here it goes. Here it goes. | 哦 好了 好了哦 |
| [24:50] | The itsy bitsy spider | 大蜘蛛会咬人 |
| [24:52] | Crawled up the water spout | 还会跑出来喷水 |
| [24:53] | They say that singing is… | 他们告诉我给小孩子唱歌 |
| [24:55] | …the best way to communicate with a child. | 是跟他们最好的沟通方式 |
| [24:57] | I guess I haven’t found… | 我觉得还没找到一首 |
| [24:59] | …the right song for her yet. | 合适的歌 |
| [25:00] | That’s too bad. Uh, the tree? | 那太糟了 那…树? |
| [25:02] | The tree. Right. So I called them. | 哦对 树的事 所以我给他们打电话 |
| [25:05] | They had one 12-foot fir left. | 他们已经给我留了一棵3米6高的冷杉 |
| [25:07] | – And I reserved it. – You got it? | – 我预订了 – 你搞定了? |
| [25:09] | – Yeah. – Yes! You should have led off with that. | – 是的 – 太好了 你应该先说这件事 |
| [25:12] | I know. I don’t know why I didn’t. | 我不知道为啥没先说 |
| [25:13] | – Okay, good. Let’s go. – Whoo! | – 好的 走吧 – 呜呼! |
| [25:15] | You know. | 你知道 |
| [25:17] | Okay. Next time. | 下次再说吧 |
| [25:23] | Now, before this party… | 现在 在到派对之前 |
| [25:24] | …we got to talk about your game. | – 我们得谈谈你的本事 |
| [25:26] | Heh. The last time you hit on a chick, | 嘿 不是我说你 你上一次泡妞的时候 |
| [25:28] | you had to ask for her beeper number. | 用的还是BB机吧 |
| [25:34] | Aw, dude, turn in there! | 哦 兄弟 转弯啊! |
| [25:36] | Really? A tree farm’? | 什么? 树厂? |
| [25:42] | “Best selection”… | “最好的选择” |
| [25:43] | …my ass. | 我的天 |
| [25:44] | It’s Christmas Eve, okay? What do you expect? | 今天是平安夜好吧? 你还想要什么呀? |
| [25:47] | KUMAR: If I was a tree farmer… | 如果我是个种树工 |
| [25:48] | …I’d be embarrassed. These trees are ghetto. | 我就会觉得尴尬 这些树像是犹太人种的 |
| [25:51] | What the fuck that mean? | 他妈的你那话什么意思? |
| [25:54] | He’s just playing. How you doing? I’m Latrell. | 他跟你们闹着玩呢 你们好 我是卡其尔 |
| [25:56] | Hello. Kumar. | 我好 我叫库玛 |
| [25:58] | This here’s my partner in crime, Lamar. | 这位是我在监狱认识的哥们 拉玛 |
| [26:03] | Ah! Ah! | |
| [26:04] | – So you two own this tree lot? LAMAR: What? | – 这个卖树厂是你们俩的? 什么? |
| [26:06] | A couple of brothers can’t sell trees? | 哥们就不能在一起卖树了? |
| [26:08] | Only swing from them like monkeys? | 只能像猴子一样挂在树上? |
| [26:10] | What? No! Of course not. You could do both. | 啊? 当然不是 你们可以啊 |
| [26:13] | – What? – What? | – 什么? – 什么? |
| [26:15] | My boy here gets cagey during the holidays. | 我朋友在节日期间总有点谨慎 |
| [26:17] | Heh, heh. Word. Word. My boy here, same way. | 了解 了解 我兄弟也这样 |
| [26:20] | Cagey as shit. Right, boy? | 谨慎的要死 对不 兄弟? |
| [26:22] | If you’re looking for trees, you should know we do custom work. | 既然你们要找树 顺便说一下 我们也负责装饰的 |
| [26:26] | Here’s one we did for Ja Rule. Ha-ha-ha. | 这是我们给加鲁尔做的 |
| [26:29] | Ooh. We’ll take it. | 哇 就要这个 |
| [26:30] | Pow. | 搞定 |
| [26:30] | – Ooh. How much is that? LATRELL: That tree’? Sorry. | – 哦 那个多钱? – 那棵 抱歉 |
| [26:34] | Just got reserved. | 已经预订了 |
| [26:35] | I really need it. I’ll pay double. | 我就要那棵 我付双倍价钱 |
| [26:37] | LAMAR: Oh, I got you now. | 我了解你了 |
| [26:39] | You think you can buy the black man’s soul. | 你觉得你能把咱们 黑人的灵魂都买走是吗? |
| [26:41] | Like we some Wayne Brady-ass niggers, right? | 就像威尼·布兰迪那样的黑人 是吗 |
| [26:43] | Triple. | 三倍价 |
| [26:44] | I’ll get the rope. | 给你拿绳子去 |
| [26:46] | – Quadruple. – Stop. | – 四倍 – 有病啊 |
| [26:48] | Sold. | 搞定 |
| [26:51] | Can we drop this tree off at Sulu’s and head to the city? | 我们能不能把这树先放到苏录的店 然后先去城里 |
| [26:56] | KUMAR: Just hold on a second, all right? | 等会行吗? |
| [26:58] | I see what you’re doing. | 我知道你在干吗 我可不喜欢 |
| [27:00] | Forget about her. | 忘了她吧 |
| [27:01] | – Think about me. – All right. | – 想想我 – 好吧 |
| [27:02] | Hold on. We’ll drop the tree off and then we’ll go get you your virgin. | 等会 我们先把树送去 然后再去找你的小处女 |
| [27:06] | Yeah. | 耶 |
| [27:11] | We got another customer. | 又来客人了 |
| [27:13] | Can I play angry black guy this time? | 这次我来唱白脸怎么样? |
| [27:15] | Aw, come on. You just played it. | 拜托 你刚刚当过了 |
| [27:17] | And I got triple the money. | 我卖到了三倍的价钱 |
| [27:19] | Come on, please? Come on! | 拜托啊 求你了 拜托拜托 |
| [27:21] | Three French hens | 三只法国母鸡 |
| [27:22] | HAROLD: Would you stop? | 别唱了行吗? |
| [27:23] | I wish I could stop | 我也想不唱啊 |
| [27:24] | Sorry, I’m trying my best | 对不起 我尽量不唱 |
| [27:26] | Hi. You guys in charge? | 嗨 这里你们负责吗? |
| [27:28] | Yeah. What the fuck is it to you, motherfucker? | 是啊 傻缺玩意 你他妈的算什么东西 |
| [27:32] | Gat’s coming out | 还是走吧 |
| [27:33] | That was so good. Ha, ha. | 太像了 哈哈 |
| [27:35] | We’re just here to pick up a tree that we reserved. | 我们预订了一棵对 现在来取 |
| [27:38] | – We called. LATRELL: Oh, yeah? | – 我们打过电话了 – 哦? 是吗 |
| [27:39] | We just sold your little punk-ass tree, bitch! | 娘娘腔 我们刚刚把你的小傻树卖了 |
| [27:42] | HAROLD: What? You sold it? | 什么 你把它卖了? |
| [27:43] | To who? | 卖给谁了? |
| [27:43] | Those white boys over there. | 那边的两男的 |
| [27:48] | Fuck! | 我操 |
| [27:49] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [27:50] | TODD: Aah! Where are we going? | 你去哪啊? |
| [27:52] | HAROLD: Maybe if we catch up to them, they’ll sell the tree to us. | 也许我们追上他们 他们肯把树卖给我们呢 |
| [27:55] | TODD: Good idea! | 好主意 |
| [27:57] | LATRELL: I’m sorry. | 真对不起 |
| [27:58] | – You lost your gangsta grill. – I know. | – 你把装黑社会要带的牙套给弄掉了 – 我知道 |
| [28:00] | – How you gonna be a gangsta? – I’m not one. | – 你怎么再装黑社会啊? – 我不是 |
| [28:03] | – I gotta wear those tomorrow. – I know. | – 我是准备明天戴的 – 我知道 |
| [28:06] | – You know I love you, right? – I think you do. | – 我喜欢你 知道不? – 我知道 |
| [28:08] | – I don’t know why, but I love you. – Thank you. | – 我不知道原因 我就是喜欢你 – 谢谢 |
| [28:11] | TODD: Oh-ho-ho. Okay. Slow it down… | 哦 开慢点 开慢点 |
| [28:13] | …because we got precious cargo… | 这车挺贵的 |
| [28:15] | …and it is very icy out there. | 路面上还这么多的冰 |
| [28:17] | – What? I don’t see any ice. – You’ve never heard of black ice? | – 什么? 我没看到有冰啊 – 你没听过暗冰吗? |
| [28:20] | It’s like the worst ice there is. Black ice, it’s everywhere. | 路面上全是 暗冰 无处不在 |
| [28:24] | Relax. I can feel the road. It’s not that bad. | 放松点 我能感觉到路况 并没有那么糟 |
| [28:28] | Yo, slow down, man. | 哥们 开慢点 |
| [28:29] | – You’re going a little fast. – I gotta get to this party ASAP. | – 你开的有点快啊. – 我只想早点去参加派对 |
| [28:32] | Pussy’s not like yogurt. It has an expiration date. | 小妞可不像酸奶. 她可是有保质期的 |
| [28:35] | Yogurt has an expiration date. | 酸奶也有保质期 |
| [28:37] | Does it? Damn it. Okay. That explains a lot. | 有吗? 我靠 这就说的通了 |
| [28:40] | It was really sour. | 是真酸啊 |
| [28:41] | But yogurt is sour, so how was I to know? | 酸奶就是酸的 我怎么知道有没有过期? |
| [28:44] | Are you really hot? I’m, like, hot… | 你很焦虑吗? 我也是 |
| [28:46] | …but I’m cold… Hello? | 但我其实很冷静-喂? |
| [28:47] | You’re not looking at me. | 你没看我啊 |
| [28:49] | I should look at the road and you look at me. | 我应该看路 你应该看我 |
| [28:51] | – It’s opposite. – Watch out! | – 现在却相反了 – 小心! |
| [28:53] | ADRIAN: Ow, ow. | 哇哦! 哇哦 |
| [28:56] | Holy shit! | 我靠! |
| [28:58] | TODD: Black ice! | 暗冰! |
| [28:58] | Black ice! It’s real! | 暗冰 真的有暗冰 |
| [29:00] | ADRIAN: Oh, shit! | 我操! |
| [29:01] | Oh, my God! | 天那! |
| [29:04] | Don’t just scream! | 别光顾着嚎! |
| [29:05] | You’re just screaming! | 你也在嚎! |
| [29:06] | That’s not helpful! | 光嚎有个毛用啊! |
| [29:09] | Oh, shit! | 我操! |
| [29:19] | Holy shit! | 我勒了去! |
| [29:20] | Oh, Harry, stop! | 哈里 停车 |
| [29:22] | ADRIAN: Aw… Glass is sharp. Glass is sharp. | 碎玻璃真扎人 |
| [29:29] | Oh, my ass. | 哦 我的屁股 |
| [29:30] | I am so going to tweet about that. Heh-heh-heh. | 我要把它发到微博上 嘿嘿嘿 |
| [29:34] | You guys all right? How are you alive? | 你们还好吗? 你们居然都活着? |
| [29:37] | Harold? | 哈罗德? |
| [29:38] | Kumar? | 库玛? |
| [29:39] | That was you at the tree farm? You took my tree? | 在树厂的是那个是你? 你把树买走了? |
| [29:42] | – So you killed two trees in one night. KUMAR: Hold on. | – 这么说你一个晚上居然毁了两棵树 – 等等 |
| [29:45] | That is a perfectly salvageable tree. | 这树还有救呢 |
| [29:50] | That was a perfectly salvageable tree. | 这树刚才还有救呢 |
| [29:52] | That was the only 12-foot Fraser fir left in the fucking state. | 那棵是现在这个州里唯一的 一棵高达3米6的冷杉 |
| [29:56] | Fuck your tree! | 去他妈的破树 |
| [29:57] | What about my car? | 我车可咋办? |
| [29:59] | I got a virgin to fuck! | 还有个纯情小少女等我去干呢 |
| [30:00] | Who is this? Who is Glasses? | 戴眼镜的这人是谁啊 |
| [30:02] | Heh. Nice, Harry. | 嘿 说的好 哈里 |
| [30:04] | – This is my friend, Adrian. HAROLD: Oh. | – 我朋友 艾德里安 – 哦 |
| [30:07] | He’s young. | 青春年少啊 |
| [30:08] | – Thank you. – Don’t respond to him. | – 谢谢 – 别理他 |
| [30:10] | TODD: Why the I-I… | 为什么? |
| [30:11] | …did you F-wads… | 你们他妈的 |
| [30:13] | …take the tree that we had specifically called and reserved? | 把我们预先打电话订好的树 给买走了? |
| [30:17] | Who is this toolbox? | 这个脑残先生是谁啊? |
| [30:18] | This is my friend, Todd. | 这是我朋友 托德 |
| [30:21] | Oh, yeah? What kind of friend? Best friend? | 哦 是吗 哪种朋友 最好的朋友? |
| [30:23] | I wouldn’t say best… Yes. | 我没说是最好的- 是的 |
| [30:25] | Yeah. Yep. Besties. | 是的 最好中的最好 |
| [30:27] | That’s awesome. | 不错哦 |
| [30:28] | Buddy. | 哥们 |
| [30:29] | Homey. | 小哈罗 |
| [30:31] | This was fun. But I got… | 挺搞笑啊 但我得去城里 |
| [30:32] | …a hot date in the city. | 还有个约会呢 |
| [30:34] | You have to take me. | 你俩得载我一程 |
| [30:35] | What? No. | 神马? 不要 |
| [30:36] | – We’re not taking you anywhere. – Not going through any tunnels. | – 才不要你做我们的车呢 – 也不要过隧道 |
| [30:40] | Dude, you are not depriving me of this: | 哥们 你们看看这个就懂了 |
| [30:42] | Hey, Adrian. I can’t wait to finally meet you. | 嗨 艾德里安 我都等不急要见你了 |
| [30:46] | I’m going to rock your world. | 我会爽翻你的 |
| [30:49] | I promise… | 我保证 |
| [30:50] | …it will be worth the wait. | 等待是值得的 |
| [30:55] | Wait, look at this fir. | 等等 看这棵树 |
| [30:56] | I’m pretty sure she’s completely shaved. | 我敢肯定她刮过毛了. |
| [30:59] | Shut up. The tree. | 闭嘴 我说的是树 |
| [31:00] | It’s like Maria’s dad’s tree. | 跟玛丽亚爸爸的那棵好像 |
| [31:02] | – It’s magnificent. ADRIAN: I’ll make you a deal. | – 真漂亮. – 跟你商量个事 |
| [31:04] | Take me to the party, I get you that tree. | 你们带我去参加派对 我帮你们搞定树的事 |
| [31:06] | No. It’s already very late. | 不行 那太晚了 |
| [31:08] | Shut the fuck up, Todd! | 托德 你他妈的闭嘴 |
| [31:09] | This doesn’t concern you! | 着急的又不是你们 |
| [31:11] | – Easy. – He can not… He is not allow… | – 放松点 – 他不能- 他不可以- |
| [31:13] | HAROLD: Hey. Calm down. Calm down. | 冷静 冷静 |
| [31:15] | I’m running out of time. I gotta be back with a tree by 2 a.m. | 我快没时间了 我得在午夜两点之前带着树回去 |
| [31:18] | Work with me. Listen. | 咱俩一起 听着 |
| [31:20] | I’m not driving for nothing. | 我不想一无所获的回去 |
| [31:22] | Make sure we can get the tree, you got a deal. | 你要确定能搞定那棵树 咱们就成交 |
| [31:24] | Done. | 行 |
| [31:26] | Hey, douche? | 嘿 脑残? |
| [31:27] | Yeah? | 什么? |
| [31:27] | Shotgun. | 前排归我 |
| [31:28] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [31:29] | Scr… | 去- |
| [31:30] | S you. S you. | 去你的 去你的 |
| [31:34] | “S”? | “去”? |
| [31:35] | – “S you”? – “Screw you.” | – “去”? – 是”去你妈的” |
| [31:37] | – Oh, right. TODD: Screw you! | – 好吧. – 去妈你的 |
| [31:40] | “Harry”? Gotta be kidding me. | “哈里”? 开什么玩笑 |
| [31:45] | The tree is removable? | 那树能移动吗? |
| [31:46] | OPERATOR: Your call cannot be completed as dialed. | 您所拨打的号码是空号 |
| [31:48] | – Great. Okay, great. Bye. We’re good. – Please hang up… | – 好的 好的 再见 – 请挂机 |
| [31:51] | We can have the tree? | 她说我们能得到那树吗? |
| [31:52] | She said it? | 她同意了吗? |
| [31:53] | She said that, yes. | 她同意了 |
| [31:55] | – Great. Let’s go. – Okay. | – 太好了 走吧 – 好 |
| [31:59] | What is he doing? What is he doing? | 他在干吗? 他在干嘛啊? |
| [32:03] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛? |
| [32:04] | What? | 咋啦? |
| [32:05] | My daughter’s in there! | 我女儿在那呢 |
| [32:06] | What? | 什么? |
| [32:07] | – Oh, shit! HAROLD: What the fuck, Kumar? | – 我靠 库玛 你搞毛啊? |
| [32:10] | I didn’t see her. | 我没看见她啊 |
| [32:11] | You got my baby high! | 你的大麻把我宝贝弄嗨了 |
| [32:12] | HAROLD: You got his baby high. | 你的大麻把我宝贝弄嗨了 |
| [32:14] | Hold on a second. | 等会 |
| [32:15] | Nobody gets high the first time they smoke weed. | 第一次吸大麻的人不会 |
| [32:17] | Don’t you know anything? | 他们只是吸那股烟 你不懂啊 |
| [32:21] | TODD: Okay, great. | 好吧 |
| [32:22] | Now she has the giggles. | 她现在笑个不停 |
| [32:24] | – Sorry. TODD: If Emma finds out… | – 真对不起 如果爱玛发现了 |
| [32:26] | …we won’t be able… | 我们就不可能 |
| [32:27] | …to come to the party. | 去参加聚会了 |
| [32:29] | What party? | 什么聚会? |
| [32:30] | Oh, it’s just a work… | 只是工作上的 |
| [32:32] | …Christmas party… | 圣诞派对 |
| [32:33] | …kind of thing. | 之类的 |
| [32:34] | Right, Todd? | 托德 对吧? |
| [32:35] | Yeah. It’s gonna be… | 是 会 |
| [32:37] | …classic. | 很棒的 |
| [32:39] | Okay, great. Now she’s having a bad trip. | 太好了 现在她开始乱叫使旅途更糟糕了 |
| [32:41] | HAROLD: Try singing again. | 试试再给她唱唱歌 |
| [32:42] | It never works. | 这招就没起过作用 |
| [32:44] | – Hey. Hey. HAROLD: What are you doing? | – 嘿 嘿 你在干吗? |
| [32:47] | Hey. | 嘿. |
| [32:48] | If you want beef, then bring the ruckus | 你要牛排 就要来点动静 |
| [32:50] | Wu-Tang Clan ain’t | 武唐可不是 |
| [32:51] | Nothin’ to fuck with | 可不是一无所有 |
| [32:52] | Straight from | 直接闯出他妈的 |
| [32:54] | The motherfucking slums that’s busted | 贫民窟 |
| [32:55] | Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with | 武唐克兰可不是一无所有 |
| [32:57] | Ahh. Ahh. | |
| [33:00] | Dude, you baby-whispered her. | 哥们 你居然哄得她不闹了 |
| [33:02] | TODD: I do not care for the language… | 我不介意你的用词 |
| [33:04] | …but that was impressive. | …真的挺令人印象深刻 |
| [33:05] | What singing group… | 这首歌是 |
| [33:07] | …is that? – The Wu-Tang Clan. | – 哪个乐队的? – 武唐克兰 |
| [33:08] | The Gu-Ga… The Wu-Gang Band? | 古嘎乐队? 无冈乐队? |
| [33:10] | Wu-Tang Clan, Todd. | 是武唐克兰 托德 |
| [33:12] | TODD: Harry. | 哈里 |
| [33:13] | When did you turn into Mr. Rap-Hop-Expert? | 你什么时候成了嘻哈绕舌专家了? |
| [33:16] | KUMAR: There’s a lot you don’t know… | 关于哈里你还有好多事情 |
| [33:17] | …about Harry, huh? | 都不知道呢? 是吧 |
| [33:18] | TODD: Excuse me? | 什么? |
| [33:20] | – Was that directed to me? KUMAR: Yeah, douche. | – 这是在指导我吗? – 是的 脑残先生 |
| [33:22] | Okay. Taken. | 好吧 我接受 |
| [33:24] | I got the munchies. | 我饿了 |
| [33:27] | TODD: Now we have to… | 现在我们得停车 |
| [33:28] | …stop and get some disgusting food for her. | 给她买点东西吃 |
| [33:30] | So she can come down from her trip. Fantastic. | 这样她这一路上才能安静点 |
| [33:54] | Oh, by the way, if anybody asks, | 顺便说一声 要是有人问起的话 |
| [33:56] | I’m Robert Pattinson’s acting coach. | 就说我是教表演的罗伯特·帕汀森先生 |
| [33:58] | – What? – What? | – 什么? – 什么? |
| [33:59] | It’s just this lie I sort of got caught in. | 这种小谎能让事情进行的顺利些 |
| [34:02] | Also, I told her you work for the White House. | 我告诉她你在白宫工作 |
| [34:05] | Yeah, like anyone’s gonna believe that. | 是啊 说的跟真的一样 |
| [34:11] | ll’ is I, the B-I-G, the B-O-I It is I, the B-I-G, the B-O-I | |
| [34:13] | TODD: Well, I spy with my little eye… | 我稍微扫了一眼 看到了这屋里 |
| [34:15] | …three felonies that I can see in this room right now. | 有三个罪犯 |
| [34:18] | Four | 有四个? |
| [34:20] | That’s it. That’s our tree. It’s perfect. | 在那 我们的树 太完美了 |
| [34:23] | – It’s better than the photograph. – Ha, ha. | – 比相片里看上去还要漂亮 – 哈哈 |
| [34:25] | HAROLD: It’s perfect. | 太完美了 |
| [34:26] | Hey, Glasses. | 嘿 眼镜仔 |
| [34:26] | – Find the girl, get the tree. Come on. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. | – 找到那妞 要到树 – 好 好 好 |
| [34:31] | Yo, yo, yo! Yo, yo, yo! | |
| [34:33] | What it is, pimp, player… | 看看都谁在这呢 皮条客 嫖客 |
| [34:35] | …et cetera? | 还有… |
| [34:36] | – What’s up? Where’s Mary? TEEN: I don’t know… | – 你们好 玛丽呢? 我不知道 |
| [34:38] | …dude, but if I was you, I would steer clear. | 哥们 如果我是你的话 我就会绕开 |
| [34:41] | Does she have a tail or something? What? | 她是长尾巴了还是怎么滴? |
| [34:44] | Don’t listen to these guys. It takes balls to do what you’re doing. | 别听这些人胡说 你敢这么做真有种 |
| [34:47] | You’re freaking me out. | 你们吓到我了 |
| [34:48] | – What is wrong with her? TEENS: Ha-ha-ha. | – 她怎么了? |
| [34:50] | MARY: Oh, my God. Adrian, is that you? | 艾德里安 是你吗? 我的上帝 |
| [35:09] | Wow, you look just like | 你看起来… |
| [35:11] | …your profile pic. | ….跟你相片很像 |
| [35:12] | You look better. Hi. | 你看起来不错 嗨 |
| [35:14] | You’re hot, girl. | 你真性感 |
| [35:17] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [35:19] | So do you, like, want to see my room? | 想不想看看我的房间? |
| [35:22] | Hey, hey. What about the tree’? | 哎 那树怎么办? |
| [35:24] | I’ll get it. | 我会搞定的 |
| [35:25] | Just give me a minute, all right, man? Probably less. Heh. | 哥们 给我几分钟啊 也许就一小会 |
| [35:28] | But hopefully more. Heh. | 但真希望能时间能长点 |
| [35:29] | Probably less. | 就一小会 |
| [35:31] | You owe me a tree, punk. | 小混混 你欠我一棵树 |
| [35:34] | Ugh. Ugh. | 哦…哦 |
| [35:36] | Oh, great. Great. This is just great. | 好吧 好吧 真行 |
| [35:39] | – I’ve got to find a place to change a diaper. – Oh, God. | – 我得找个地方给她换尿片 – 天那 |
| [35:42] | Unless, of course, Mr. Wu-Gang Clams would like to help with some poopy? | 除非武干先生想帮我? |
| [35:46] | Wu-Tang, dude. | 是武唐 |
| [35:47] | Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. | |
| [35:49] | Your little friend better get me a tree. | 你的小朋友最好赶紧给我把树弄到手 |
| [35:51] | I’m sorry about him, dude. I… | 我为此感到抱歉 |
| [35:55] | BORIS: Hey, grandpa! | 嘿 老爹 |
| [35:57] | – Toss it back. KUMAR: Who you calling… | – 扔回来 |
| [35:59] | …grandpa, dude? I’m barely 30. | 你叫谁老爹呢 伙计? 我还没到三十呢 |
| [36:01] | Wanna start? I’ll kick your ass… | 想打架啊? 我马上就去 |
| [36:03] | …right now. | 踢你屁股 |
| [36:04] | Karate Kid style. | 像功夫小子一样 |
| [36:05] | KUMAR: Really? | 真的吗? |
| [36:06] | Which Karate Kid are you referring to? | 你说的是哪个小子啊? |
| [36:08] | There’s only one Karate Kid and it stars Jackie Chan and my man Jaden Smith. | 只有一个功夫小子的片子是 成龙和贾登·史密斯演的 |
| [36:12] | What? | 什么? |
| [36:14] | Generation Z, here’s your ball. | 都是九零后 把球还你 |
| [36:16] | Who invited these fucking losers? | 谁把这两衰人招来的? |
| [36:20] | Listen, we’re friends of Mary, okay? | 听着 我们是玛丽的朋友 |
| [36:22] | She promised us we could have that tree. Okay? Thank you. | 她答应了把那棵圣诞树给我们 谢谢啊 |
| [36:25] | What? | 什么? |
| [36:26] | Fuck that! I don’t care… | 我操 我才不管我姐咋说的 |
| [36:28] | …what my sister said. I’m not letting you take our tree. | 我可没同意让你们把树搬走 |
| [36:31] | Uh, actually, you are, you fuckstain. | 事实上 你必须同意 你个脑残 |
| [36:33] | HAROLD: Come on. | 拜托 |
| [36:34] | We’re here to pick up the tree, then we’re out of here. | 我们只是来搬树的 搬完就走 |
| [36:37] | It’s a bit of an emergency. | 紧急情况 |
| [36:38] | Tell you what, we’ll play you for it. | 我们跟你们玩玩 |
| [36:41] | If you beat us… | 如果你们能打败我们 |
| [36:42] | …you get the tree. | 就把树给你们 |
| [36:43] | If we beat you, we kick your asses out | 如果我们赢了 就把你们身上的钱 |
| [36:45] | and take all your motherfucking cash. Ha, ha. | 全抢过来再把你们给踢出去 哈哈 |
| [36:47] | I’m sorry, do you want us | 抱歉打扰一下 你是想让我们把 |
| [36:49] | to play you in beer pong? | 你当球一样扔进杯子里吗? |
| [36:50] | Oh, I’m sorry, I guess you guys haven’t heard of it before. | 我也很抱歉 我猜你们肯定连听都没听过这游戏 |
| [36:53] | KUMAR: Oh, no, no. | 不 不 |
| [36:54] | We’ve heard of it, dude. Yeah. | 我们以前听说过 伙计 |
| [36:56] | Except, see, in our day, it was called Beirut. | 只不过在我们的年代这游戏叫贝鲁特 |
| [36:58] | And we didn’t have the rollback rule… | 而且我们的规则是不会让你这样的 |
| [37:00] | …like you pussies have today. | 小娘娘腔得意的 |
| [37:02] | I remember the day they announced the rule. | 我还记得那天他们宣布了比赛规则 |
| [37:04] | Same day I kicked a little bitch’s ass at it. | 同一天里我还踢了一个小贱人屁股 |
| [37:07] | You remind me a lot of that guy… | 你倒使我想起那家伙了 |
| [37:09] | …except you’re shorter. | 除了你比他矮一点 |
| [37:11] | And he had pubes. | 而且他下面有毛 |
| [37:12] | Oh, my God. I’m so excited. | 我的天哎 我太激动了 |
| [37:14] | All my other friends… | 我朋友们在她们上七年级的时候 |
| [37:16] | …lost their virginity in 7th grade. | 就已经失贞了 |
| [37:18] | I can’t believe it’s happening. | 我真不敢相信发生的事 |
| [37:19] | What’s the deal? Why isn’t everybody at school trying to sleep with you? | 怎么回事呢? 为什么你同学都不想跟你睡觉? |
| [37:23] | Are you kidding? No guy at school will even touch me. | 你开玩笑脸吗 我在学校里都不会有人碰我 |
| [37:26] | Why won’t they? | 他们为什么不啊? |
| [37:27] | Probably because they’re scared. | 可能因为他们害怕吧 |
| [37:29] | Well, I don’t get scared. | 哦 那我不会害怕的 |
| [37:31] | Scared of… What are they scared of, though? | 怕什么 他们到底怕什么啊? |
| [37:33] | Hey! Enough talk. | 哎 聊够了吧 |
| [37:38] | Gonna hit this? | 想不想玩? |
| [37:39] | Yes. I Will. Hit it. | 想 非常想 |
| [37:42] | Aah. It’s not a disease, is it? Heh, heh. | 不会传染什么病吧? |
| [37:45] | – What? – Never mind. Heh. | – 什么? – 没什么 |
| [37:47] | Forget it. Heh. | 算了 |
| [37:51] | Okay, Daddy’s gonna get you changed. Daddy is gonna get you… | 爸爸马上给你换尿片片哈 爸爸马上就… |
| [37:55] | Aah! Okay, I need this room… | 啊! 呃… 我需要这个房间 |
| [37:57] | …for a serious diaper situation. So I will ask you to stop… | 给我女儿换尿片 所以你们能不能先 |
| [38:00] | …doing that. – Smush that pussy! Unh! | – 停下来 – 使劲干嘛 |
| [38:03] | Smush my pussy! | 使劲操我 |
| [38:04] | GUY: I’m coming! | 我要射了 |
| [38:05] | – Oh, my God. GUY: Oh, I’m coming! | – 我的天啊 – 我要射了 |
| [38:07] | Baby, blow me. | 宝贝 吹一口 |
| [38:11] | Ugh. | 恶 |
| [38:16] | A boom batta, these pockets… | 中了 那些口袋 |
| [38:18] | …getting fatter. | 快被装满喽 |
| [38:19] | You guys… | 你们俩 |
| [38:19] | …got nothing on me. | 休想战胜我 |
| [38:22] | Dude, I need this tree. | 哥们 我真的很需要这棵树 |
| [38:25] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [38:26] | – We hit this, we win. BORIS: No matter. There’s no way… | – 我们得赢 必须得赢 没关系 你们肯定扔不进去 |
| [38:28] | …you sinking this ball. Not in my house. | 至少在我的地盘赢不了 |
| [38:31] | Shut this motherfucker up, would you? | 让这贱人闭嘴 你能做到吧 |
| [38:39] | – Time. – What? | – 暂停 – 什么? |
| [38:42] | Show him the old “Roldy Roll.” | 给他们出你的那招” 罗式回旋球” |
| [38:44] | It’s too risky. I haven’t done that in forever. | 太冒险了 我都好久没出这招了 |
| [38:47] | No, dude, come on. You got this. Feel it. | 不 哥们 你成功过 好好感觉一下 |
| [38:57] | Hello, old friend. | 你好吗 老朋友 |
| [39:01] | Clear. | 好了 |
| [39:24] | We won! | 我们赢了 |
| [39:25] | Who are those guys? | 他们是何方神圣啊? |
| [39:27] | I don’t know, but they’re fucking studs. | 我不知道 但他们真他妈帅爆了 |
| [39:35] | I know this is your first time, so I’m gonna be extra gentle. | 我知道这是你的第一次 我会尽量 做的温柔点 |
| [39:44] | Who’s that? | 那人是谁? |
| [39:45] | Oh, that’s just my dad. | 我爸 |
| [39:48] | Why does he look… | 他怎么看起来 |
| [39:49] | …so familiar? | 这么眼熟? |
| [40:28] | That’s not good. No. | 这不太好 不太好 |
| [40:31] | Hey, are we gonna do this or what? | 哎 我们不是在做爱吗? |
| [40:33] | Yeah, we are, but your dad is Sergei Katsov? Heh. | 是啊 但你爸居然是谢尔盖·卡托斯夫? |
| [40:36] | Not again. Oh, my God. This happens every goddamn time. | 又来了 天呢 每次都在关键时刻都会这样 |
| [40:39] | No, no, no. | 不 不 不 |
| [40:40] | Give your dick. | 把你鸡巴给我 |
| [40:41] | Aah, aah. Hey! Whoa. Aah, aah. Hey! Whoa. | |
| [40:43] | Wait, I almost got it. | 等会 我快抓住它了 |
| [40:44] | It really hurts. You’re digging your nails into it! Aah! | 好疼啊 你的指尖都掐到肉里去了 |
| [40:47] | Are you going soft on me? | 你居然在我面前硬不起来? |
| [40:49] | Uh-uh. Uh-uh. | |
| [40:50] | You better not go soft on me! | 你最好别他妈的阳萎 |
| [40:51] | I’m not, it’s just hard. | 我没有 刚开始硬了 |
| [40:53] | Aah! And it really, really hurts. | 真的 真的好疼啊 |
| [40:55] | Stop, just give me a two-minute break. Aah! | 等会 让我缓两分钟 |
| [40:57] | So how do we do this? | 我们该怎么办? |
| [40:59] | KUMAR: There’s gotta be a freight elevator or something. | 这楼里肯定是货运电梯什么的 |
| [41:01] | – We take the ornaments off, or…? – We could. | – 我们要不要把装饰品先拿下来? – 当然了 |
| [41:04] | Hey, guys. I just wanted to say that was an epic match. | 伙计们 我想告诉你们这真是 有史以来最棒的比赛 |
| [41:09] | – Good win. – Thanks, kid. | – 赢得好 – 谢谢 小盆友 |
| [41:10] | I’m sorry I was such a dick… | 真对不起 我刚才那么对你们 |
| [41:12] | …to you guys. I thought you were old assholes. | 真像个混蛋 我还以为你们是老流氓呢 |
| [41:15] | But real talk… | 但说真的 |
| [41:17] | …you guys are pretty cool. So cheers. | 你们俩实在是太酷了 喝两杯 |
| [41:19] | – Thanks. – No, no. Come on. Don’t. | – 谢了 – 不行 不行 别喝 |
| [41:22] | Roldy, the kid is acknowledging the error of his ways. Respect that. | 小罗 这小娃娃已经主动承认错误了 得给他个面子啊 |
| [41:28] | Come on, man, it’s Christmas. | 拜托 哥们 大过节的 |
| [41:30] | Thanks, kid. | 谢了 小孩 |
| [41:31] | – All right. – Cheers. | – 好吧 – 干杯 |
| [41:33] | HAROLD: Cheers. – Cheers. | – 干杯 – 干杯 |
| [41:35] | Mm. It’s good. | 味道不错 |
| [41:38] | Why don’t you guys just sit down and I’ll get that tree all wrapped up for you. | 你们先坐一会 我去把树给你们绑好 |
| [41:42] | – Thank you. – Thanks, man. | – 谢谢 – 谢了 伙计 |
| [41:43] | Appreciate it. | 非常感谢 |
| [41:46] | Diaper emergency! Aah! Cocaine! | 紧急状况! 妈呀 可卡因 |
| [41:49] | Have you kids… | 你们这帮孩子没有看过 |
| [41:49] | …never seen VH1’s Behind the Music? | VH1的音乐节目? |
| [41:53] | Do you not know… | 你们知不知道 |
| [41:54] | …what cocaine can do to the mind of a person as young as you? | 毒品就是侵害像你们这样的青少年 |
| [42:08] | Unh, reporting live from the kitchen Unh, reporting live from the kitchen | |
| [42:10] | With a brand-new swag With a brand-new swag | |
| [42:12] | Dude, do you feel kind of weird? | 你觉不觉得有点怪啊? |
| [42:14] | Yeah, I do, actually. My face is feeling kind of numb. | 是啊 我觉得脸有点麻 |
| [42:17] | Oh, fuck. | 我靠 |
| [42:18] | The kids put something in here. | 那孩子肯定在酒里放东西了 |
| [42:20] | Was it drugs? Was it semen? | 放大麻了? 还是精液? |
| [42:24] | It doesn’t taste like semen. | 喝起来不像精液 |
| [42:27] | MARY: Uh! You fucking… | 你个… |
| [42:28] | …loser! – Give me another chance! | – 废物! – 再给我一次机会! |
| [42:30] | I’m begging you! | 求你了! |
| [42:32] | I’m really, really, really sorry! | 我真的真的真的很抱歉! |
| [42:35] | That we had sex too well too often. | 我们亲热的次数太多太爽了 |
| [42:39] | “Sorry” doesn’t pop my cherry. | 对不起又不能给我开苞 |
| [42:41] | Somebody is gonna… | 今晚 |
| [42:42] | …fuck me tonight! You! | 必须有人来干我! 就是你了 |
| [42:46] | Oh, no. Ha. Married. | 哦 不行 我结婚了 |
| [42:48] | – He’s single. – Hi. Kumar. | – 他是单身 – 嗨 我叫库玛 |
| [42:50] | I don’t date black guys. | 我不跟黑鬼约会 |
| [42:51] | – What? Whoa! MARY: Unh! | – 什么? 哇哦 |
| [42:52] | – What are you doing? MARY: Getting you ready. | – 你干吗? 帮你准备 |
| [42:54] | – Get her off me! – Right, sorry, sorry! | – 把她给我弄走 – 好的 对不起 |
| [42:56] | Uh, I’m not gonna let you… | 我不会让你在平安夜里强暴我朋友 |
| [42:58] | …rape my friend on Christmas Eve. He’s married. | 他都结婚了 |
| [43:09] | Whoa, whoa, whoa. | 哇哦 |
| [43:10] | Who the fuck are you? | 你他妈的是谁? |
| [43:19] | MARY: Stop resisting. | 不准反抗 |
| [43:20] | HAROLD: Push harder, dude! | 用力推 哥们 |
| [43:21] | KUMAR: I am doing it! | 我在推啊 |
| [43:22] | HAROLD: I can’t get her… | 我推不动… |
| [43:23] | …off! MARY: Oh, God! | – 她… |
| [43:27] | Mariana? | 玛丽安娜? |
| [43:31] | Daddy. | 老爸 |
| [43:33] | BOTH: Daddy. | 老爸! ! |
| [43:37] | That’s Sergei… | 这是谢尔盖. |
| [43:38] | …Katsov. | 卡斯夫 |
| [43:39] | I know, dude. | 我知道 |
| [43:40] | Start talking. | 说说吧 |
| [43:41] | – Start talking. – Okay. | – 说说 – 好的 |
| [43:45] | She… | 她 |
| [43:46] | Start talking! Now! | 赶紧给我说清楚 |
| [43:47] | Sir. Hi. My name is Kumar, this is Harold. It’s very nice to meet you. | 先生 我叫库玛 这是哈罗德 很高兴见到你 |
| [43:51] | Um, I know this is gonna be hard for you to believe… | 呃 我知道这件事你可能不太相信 |
| [43:53] | …but your daughter, sir, was the one who was trying to rape us. | 但你女儿 想强暴我们 |
| [43:57] | She’s the raper. | 她是强奸犯 |
| [43:58] | No! No, no, no! That is not true, Daddy. | 不不不不不 不是真的 老爸 |
| [44:00] | These men came in here, I didn’t know who they were. | 这两男的闯了进来 我根本不认识他们 |
| [44:02] | I think that they got me drunk. | 我觉得他们是想把我灌醉 |
| [44:04] | No. Miss? Miss? That’s incorrect. | 不是 小姐 那不是真的 |
| [44:06] | You got my daughter drunk? | 你俩想把我女儿灌醉? |
| [44:08] | Sir, if I may. This is all a big… | 先生 请允许我说几句 这是一个大的 |
| [44:10] | Let me pull my pants up. | 先让我把裤子提上 |
| [44:12] | It’s all a big misunderstanding. | 这是一个很大的误会 |
| [44:14] | Your children threw the party. | 您的孩子们举行了这个派对 |
| [44:17] | We have nothing to do with all the drugs and all the alcohol. | 我们没喝酒也没吸毒 |
| [44:22] | Okay, listen up! | 都给我听好了 |
| [44:23] | Party’s over! | 派对结束了 |
| [44:24] | My baby… | 我女儿… |
| [44:25] | …is fucked on cocaine! KATSOV: I’ve heard enough. | – 现在正沉浸在毒品中 – 我听够了 |
| [44:29] | Gustav. | 古斯塔夫 |
| [44:31] | – What? Oh, shit! – No! No! | – 什么? 我靠 – 不要 |
| [44:33] | Why does it always have to be “Gustav”? | 为什么他一定要先说”古斯塔夫 “ |
| [44:35] | Why not “Yuri and Gustav, kill them”? | 为什么他不是说尤利和古斯塔夫一起杀了他们 |
| [44:37] | He means both. | 他的意思就是让咱俩一起啊 |
| [44:38] | Why can’t he say both of us? | 那为什么他不说咱俩这个词 |
| [44:39] | Both of you… | 你们俩… |
| [44:41] | …kill them. Kill them all! | 把他们全给我干掉 |
| [44:46] | – Aah! KUMAR: Go! | 快跑 |
| [44:47] | Now! | 现在 |
| [44:50] | Come with me if you wanna live! | 想活下去就跟我来 |
| [44:52] | What? No, no! | 什么? 别 别 |
| [44:53] | No, no, no! | 别 别 |
| [45:30] | Aah. Where’s my baby? | 我女儿呢? |
| [45:32] | – Ava! Ava! – Shh! | – 艾娃! – 嘘! |
| [45:33] | Where could my baby be? Where’s my baby? | 我女儿呢? 我女儿在哪? |
| [45:39] | Your coke baby has superpowers. | 你那嗑了药的小宝贝有超能力啊 |
| [45:45] | – That was close. – I know, right? | – 差一点啊 – 我知道 |
| [45:48] | HAROLD: Were you starting to trip out a little bit? | 你觉不觉得有点晕啊? |
| [45:51] | Because I think I was starting to trip out back there a little bit. | 我怎么觉得我开始有点不对劲呢? |
| [45:54] | Yeah, definitely, man. I think there was something in the eggnog. | 嗯 哥们 我敢肯定 那蛋酒里肯定 加了什么东西 |
| [45:58] | It’s pretty fucking sweet. | 真他妈的好喝 |
| [45:59] | Don’t worry. | 别担心了 |
| [46:00] | I’m pretty sure it’s wearing off. | 那劲正在慢慢消失 |
| [46:04] | Or maybe not? | 或者还没? |
| [46:07] | Holy shit! Dude, you’re Claymated! | 我嘞了个去 哥们 你咋成泥人了? |
| [46:09] | Ha-ha-ha. So are you! | 哈哈哈 你也是 |
| [46:11] | So is he. | 他也是 |
| [46:12] | What’s up, blood? | 哥们 你们好 |
| [46:16] | Dude, everything’s Claymated! | 哥们 每个东西都成粘土做的了 |
| [46:18] | Fuck you! | 我靠 |
| [46:19] | KUMAR: This is great! | 这太棒了 |
| [46:20] | No, it’s not! How am I supposed to get a tree now? I’m made of clay. | 一点都不好 我怎么去弄我的树啊 我都成泥人了 |
| [46:24] | Ooh, hold on. I have an idea. | 等等 我有个主意 |
| [46:25] | What the hell…? | 你他妈的 |
| [46:28] | – Clay cocks! – Put your cock away. – Yah! | – 粘土做的鸡巴! – 把它放回去 |
| [46:31] | Dude, relax. It’s gonna wear off soon. | 放松点 一会就会好的 |
| [46:37] | What the fuck? | 搞什么飞机? |
| [46:39] | Die, motherfucker! | 操你妈的 去死吧! |
| [46:53] | Prepare for the winter of your discontent! | 准备好接受愤怒的冬天吧 |
| [46:57] | KUMAR: Whoa! – Shit! | 我擦 |
| [46:59] | Fuck! | 操 |
| [47:06] | My God. We’re gonna die. | 我操 我们要死了 |
| [47:07] | No way, dude. | 绝对不会的 兄弟 |
| [47:08] | Nobody dies while Claymated. It’s a fact. | 动画片里不会死人的 常识懂不 |
| [47:11] | Dude, look out! | 小心! |
| [47:15] | Oh, nobody dies while Claymated. | 你看死不死人 |
| [47:18] | – I heard it’s a fact. – Okay, fine. Theory debunked. | – 这就是你的常识 – 好 我错了 |
| [47:23] | Let’s get out of here. | 赶紧溜吧 |
| [47:27] | What’s the matter? Afraid you’ll catch a cold? | 跑那么快干嘛? 怕冻感冒吗? |
| [47:36] | If this guy makes one more lame pun, I’m gonna kill myself. | 这家伙再说烂双关语 我都要恶心死了 |
| [47:42] | Oh, my clay back! | 哦 我粘土做的背啊! |
| [47:46] | HAROLD : | 对不住了 兄弟 |
| [47:50] | Every time I hang out with you, it’s a disaster. | 只要跟你在一起就没好事 |
| [47:52] | Wait. I just realized I can probably make my balls bigger too… | 你说在动画片里我的蛋蛋是不是更大一些… |
| [47:56] | …since I’m Claymated. HAROLD: You’re such a fucking asshole. | – 反正是动画片嘛 – 你他妈就是一傻逼 |
| [48:05] | KUMAR: Look, Union Square. Let’s hide in that tree. | 看那边 联合广场 我们躲在树里面去 |
| [48:15] | This is a really… This is a really beautiful tree. | 这树真漂亮啊 太美了 |
| [48:17] | Dude, come on! | 不是吧你 |
| [48:28] | Hey, little guy. | 嘿 小东西 |
| [48:30] | You hungry? | 饿了吗? |
| [48:46] | Ice to see you. | 见到你们太鸡冻了 |
| [48:48] | All right, that is it. Hey, snowman! | 还没完没了了 嘿 那个雪人 |
| [48:51] | Get yourself some mints because your breath is abominable. | 吃点薄荷糖吧你 嘴臭死了 |
| [48:57] | Ha-ha-ha. Not bad, Roldy. | 哈哈哈 小罗 不错啊 |
| [49:02] | Fuck me! | 我操 |
| [49:12] | Dead squirrel. | 死翘翘的松鼠 |
| [49:23] | – It’s coming! MAN: Wake up! Wake up! | – 他过来了 – 醒醒! 醒醒! |
| [49:25] | – We’re gonna die. We’re gonna die. – What? | – 这下死定了 死定了 – 什么? |
| [49:27] | MAN: I told you not to aim for the face. | 说了别往脸上扔 |
| [49:30] | – Roldy! – Kumar! | – 小罗罗! – 库玛! |
| [49:31] | – What the hell’s the matter? ROSENBERG: What are you doing? | – 这到底是咋了啊? 你们在干吗呢? |
| [49:34] | – Rosenberg. – Goldstein? | – 罗斯伯格 – 高德斯提? |
| [49:36] | We were doing last-minute shopping with my boy here when we saw you… | 我们在血拼购物 突然就看见你们俩 |
| [49:40] | …tearing that snowman a new tuchus. | 踢翻了那个雪人的屁股 |
| [49:42] | ROSENBERG: You are gonna catch your death… | 你们俩在外面会被冻死的 |
| [49:43] | …of cold out here. Let’s get you a nice meal. | 走吧 咱们请你们吃饭 |
| [49:46] | Is there somewhere we can eat? | 附近有什么能吃饭的地方吗? |
| [49:57] | This is why I tell you not to have people over. | 所以我才告诉你有时候 不要得罪小人 |
| [50:00] | Every single other person got out of here except for us. | 除了我们之外 每-一-个-人都逃走了 |
| [50:05] | -I knew you’d bring that up. – You grabbed me. | – 我知道你也正要跑呢 – 你把我抓进来的 |
| [50:07] | You said, “Come with me if you want to live.” | 你当时说 你要想活命就跟着我 |
| [50:13] | – Man, I don’t think that’s okay. – It’s fine. | – 伙计 我觉得这不太妙 – 没事 |
| [50:15] | It’s not fine! My baby’s on cocaine. | 什么没事啊 我女儿现在正兴奋呢 |
| [50:18] | I’m on cocaine. | 我也兴奋 |
| [50:21] | I’m addicted to cocaine. | 我对可卡因已经上瘾了 |
| [50:26] | Yo! Idiots! | 那俩白痴 |
| [50:28] | I want you to find… | 我要你们俩找到 |
| [50:29] | …the men who violated… | 想强暴我女儿的 |
| [50:32] | …my daughter… | 那个两个人 |
| [50:33] | …and I want you to fucking kill them! | 并且我要你俩把他们俩给干掉 |
| [50:37] | – Still hits the spot. HAROLD: I know, right? | – 又来到老地方了 – 我知道 |
| [50:40] | Oh, I almost forgot. Harold, my Uncle Yoav, he threw his back out. | 哦 我差点忘了 哈罗德 我叔叔尤夫他后背受伤了 |
| [50:44] | So me and him, we’re not gonna… | 所以我和他… |
| [50:45] | …be able to make your party. | 可能无法参加你的派对了 |
| [50:47] | – I’m so sorry about that. – It’s okay. | – 我为此感到抱歉 – 没关系 |
| [50:49] | There’s not really a… We should get going. | 真的的不算什么 我们该走了 |
| [50:51] | We got a Christmas tree emergency. | 我们现在重要的任务是找一棵圣诞树 |
| [50:53] | I don’t understand what it is with you people and your trees. | 我不太明白 什么叫你的人和你的树 |
| [50:57] | GOLDSTEIN: For us Christians… | 对我们基督教徒来说 |
| [50:58] | …the tree is a very important part of our holiday. | 圣诞树是圣诞节里至关重要的一部分 |
| [51:01] | Okay, don’t start with this. All right? | 好了 别说这个了 成吗? |
| [51:03] | Just because your wife made you convert | 就因为你老婆使你改变信仰 |
| [51:05] | doesn’t mean you’re not a Jew! | 但那又不表示你不再是犹太人 |
| [51:08] | His name is Seth Goldstein. For Christ’s sake! | 他的名字居然是塞斯·戈德斯坦 神啊 |
| [51:11] | First of all, don’t ever take the Lord’s name in vain, not after… | 首先 不要随便呼唤主的名字 |
| [51:15] | …how your people crucified my man. Secondly… | 其次 |
| [51:18] | …I was baptized, bitch! | 我是受过洗礼的 贱人 |
| [51:20] | The second the priest… | 那一刻神父 |
| [51:21] | …poured that holy water over me… | 手沾圣水划过我的身体 |
| [51:23] | …all my Jewish neurosis and self-hatred just washed right off. | 我身上带有的那些犹太人的病态 和自我仇恨全部被洗掉 |
| [51:26] | KUMAR: Sounds like you’re enjoying your new religion. | 听起来你好像挺陶醉于你的新信仰哈 |
| [51:29] | Dude, it’s the balls. | 哥们 那可是好大的聚会啊 |
| [51:30] | These dirty Jew bastards have… | 那些犹太杂种们根本不知道 |
| [51:32] | …no idea what they’re missing. | 他们正在失去的东西 |
| [51:33] | Christmas! Easter! | 圣诞节 复活节 |
| [51:34] | Fishing! Hunting! I tie knots on a sailboat. | 钓鱼 打猎 我在帆船上系过缆绳 |
| [51:37] | I can get heartburn without thinking I’m having a stroke. | 我经历过大风大浪 眼睛都不带眨一下的 |
| [51:40] | I’m loving me some Applebee’s. I made terrible investments… | 我喜欢苹果蜜的东西 我投资搞砸了 |
| [51:43] | …doesn’t bother me a bit. | 眉头都不带皱一下的 |
| [51:44] | Miraculously, my mother is no longer a total bitch. | 突然间 我老妈也不那么烦人了 |
| [51:47] | – Isn’t that right? ls Grandma a bitch? – No. | – 对不对啊? 奶奶烦人吗? – 不烦人 |
| [51:50] | No. | 你看 不烦人 |
| [51:51] | And guess what. Next week… | 还有 下周我… |
| [51:53] | …I have an appointment to get uncircumcised. | …还要去把包皮接回去 |
| [51:55] | That’s right, I’m gonna get my snozzle. | 没错 我的小可爱又回来了 |
| [51:58] | Guys, I’d love to stay and chat | 朋友们 我真挺乐意跟你们聊天的 |
| [52:00] | but I gotta go get this tree. | 但我必须得先把树的事搞定 |
| [52:02] | Christmas tree! Christmas tree! | 圣诞树 圣诞树 |
| [52:07] | It’s glorious. Isn’t it Christian? | 太壮观了 是不是 克里斯琴? |
| [52:10] | Great to see you guys. | 见到你们真高兴 |
| [52:11] | KUMAR: See you, guys. GOLDSTEIN: No, wait. | 再见 朋友 等会 |
| [52:13] | Excuse me! | 哎听着 |
| [52:14] | You still owe me 87 cents for that jalapelo cheeseburger! | 你欠我87美分 墨西哥辣起司汉堡的钱 |
| [52:17] | Ah! Guess that holy water didn’t wash everything off, now did it? | 啊哈哈 圣水没把你犹太人的小气劲洗掉啊 是不是 |
| [52:23] | HAROLD: God, that tree is perfect. | 上帝啊 那树太完美了 |
| [52:25] | KUMAR: Let’s go check it out. | 过去看看 |
| [52:26] | Tickets, please. | 请出示门票 |
| [52:27] | I’m sorry, we don’t have tickets. | 抱歉 我们没票 |
| [52:29] | They sold out months ago. | 一个月前票就卖光了 |
| [52:31] | – But… – Step aside, please. | – 但是 – 请让开点 |
| [52:33] | I said step aside. | 我说了走开 |
| [52:38] | Shit. | 靠 |
| [52:40] | You know what? Fuck it, it’s almost midnight. I give up. | 你知道吗 我操 都快到午夜了 我放弃了 |
| [52:43] | You can’t give up yet. | 你还不能放弃啊 |
| [52:45] | Look… | 听着 |
| [52:46] | …I have an idea on how we might get that tree out. | 我有个主意或许我们能把那树整出来 |
| [52:49] | – What? – It’s not gonna be easy. | – 怎么弄? – 估计会挺困难 |
| [52:51] | But this may be the last chance we’ve got. | 但这有可能是我们最后的机会了 |
| [52:54] | Here’s what we do. | 我们要这么做 |
| [52:57] | First, we need to steal some tickets. | 首先 我们得偷两张票 |
| [52:59] | Then I slip off to the side and take out the archbishop. | 然后我悄悄溜到一边把主教给干倒 |
| [53:03] | I head down to the nuns’ shower room. | 然后我潜入修女们的洗浴间 |
| [53:07] | HAROLD: I didn’t know the nuns all showered in the same room. | 我不知道是否所有的修女都在同一个 洗浴间里洗澡 |
| [53:10] | How do you think they stay so clean? | 你觉得她们在那呆着就会变干净了? |
| [53:13] | While the nuns are lezzing it out, I’m gonna snag the key to the back room. | 趁修女们在洗澡的时候 我就把密室的钥匙给偷走 |
| [53:17] | HAROLD: What back room? | 什么密室? |
| [53:18] | The back room that the priests are guarding. Am I going too fast? | 密室就是由神父看管的屋子 我说的太快了吗? |
| [53:22] | – No. – Okay, good. | – 不是 – 好的 |
| [53:23] | You’re in charge of distracting them. | 你主要负责分散他们的注意力 |
| [53:25] | How the hell do I do that? | 我他妈的怎么分散啊? |
| [53:26] | KUMAR: That’s easy, you’ll just use our secret weapon. | 非常简单 你只要使出我们的杀手锏 |
| [53:29] | Pillow fight in the altar boys’ room. | 孩子们在房间里玩枕头大战呢 |
| [53:31] | Last one there’s a rotten egg. | 住在最里面的那个还扔臭鸡蛋 |
| [53:35] | Once the coast is clear, we use the key to get into the back room. | 扫清障碍后 我们用钥匙进入密室 |
| [53:38] | I guard while you kill the power. | 我放哨 你把电闸弄断 |
| [53:40] | While everyone’s trying to turn the power on… | 等大家都在修电闸的时候 |
| [53:42] | you and I will get the tree. | 我们俩就扛树走人 |
| [53:44] | We take it to your place, and when Maria’s dad comes home… | 我们把树带回家的时候 正赶上 玛丽亚的爸爸到家 |
| [53:47] | …and sees this beautiful tree… | 一开门 就看见了这美丽的树 |
| [53:49] | …in your living room, he’ll jizz all over it. | 他会兴奋的射遍你的客厅 |
| [53:53] | What do you think? | 你觉得如何? |
| [53:55] | INEZ: Uncle Harold. | 哈罗德叔叔 |
| [53:56] | I think I see Uncle Harold over there. | 我觉得我看到了哈罗德叔叔了 |
| [53:59] | What do you mean, you see Uncle Harold? | 你说什么? 你看到哈罗德叔叔了? |
| [54:06] | Baby? | 亲爱的? |
| [54:08] | Oh, sorry, sir. | 哦 对不起啊 先生 |
| [54:10] | MR. PEREZ: It’s okay, baby. | 没关系 宝贝 |
| [54:11] | They all look alike to me too. Ha-ha-ha. | 他们长的跟我都挺像的 呵呵呵 |
| [54:15] | HAROLD: Fuck! Midnight Mass. Is it midnight already? Fucking midnight! | 操了 午夜家庭聚会 到午夜了吗 该死的午夜 |
| [54:20] | Running out of time. | 快到时间了 |
| [54:21] | Wait, wait, wait! What the hell are we doing? | 等等 等等 我们到底在干吗? |
| [54:23] | Hold on. What the hell’s going on? | 等会 咋啦? |
| [54:26] | He almost spotted us! I’m supposed to be at home with the tree. | 他差点发现我们 这时候我应该和树 呆在家里 |
| [54:29] | But why are you making such a big deal about this? | 但是你为什么把事闹的这么大 |
| [54:31] | Because it is a big deal. | 因为这就是个大事 |
| [54:34] | Who gives a shit what your father-in-law thinks? | 谁在乎你岳父怎么想了 |
| [54:36] | I give a shit what my father-in-law thinks. You wouldn’t understand. | 我在乎我岳父的想法 你不会明白的 |
| [54:42] | No, dude, I don’t understand. | 是啊 我是不明白 |
| [54:45] | You got a great job, you make good money, you don’t beat your wife. | 你有份好工作 你挣了多多的钱 你也不打老婆 |
| [54:48] | What more could a Latino father-in-law ask for? | 那拉丁佬还想要你怎么着啊? |
| [54:50] | – Well… – If I were you… | – 这个… – 我要是你的话 |
| [54:52] | …I’d tell him to eat a cockmeat sandwich. | 我就让他去吃大鸡巴三明治 |
| [54:56] | You should not go through… | 你没有必要只是为了讨他的欢心 |
| [54:57] | …all this just to make him happy. | 而去做这一切 |
| [55:00] | You’re right, I don’t have to. | 你是对的 我没这个必要 |
| [55:02] | I want to. | 是我心甘情愿的 |
| [55:04] | I want him to be happy because I want Maria to be happy. | 我打心里想让他开心 因为我想让 玛丽亚开心 |
| [55:08] | Because what makes Maria happy is what makes me happy. | 玛丽亚开心 我就开心 |
| [55:11] | Don’t you get it? | 你明白了吗? |
| [55:12] | I don’t have to be doing this. | 我真的没必要这么做 |
| [55:15] | I wanna be doing this. | 但是我发自内心主动想去做的 |
| [55:19] | What the fuck? | 搞毛啊? |
| [55:20] | Smoke break ended 10 minutes ago! We need all bodies on-stage! | 十分钟的抽烟时间早过了 所有演员台上集合 |
| [55:25] | Oh, my God, you guys aren’t even dressed? Jesus fucking Christ! | 我的天呢 你们还没换装? 我了个大去 |
| [55:28] | You have the wrong people. | 你找错人了 |
| [55:29] | Wardrobe! | 服装间 |
| [55:31] | Go! Come on, come on, come on! Shut up! | 快点 快点快点 闭嘴 |
| [55:35] | Ma’am, you seem like a very nice person. | 女士 你看起来人不错 |
| [55:38] | BECCA: Go! Move! | 过去 |
| [55:40] | Fucking actors. | 二逼演员 |
| [55:41] | And now, ladies and gentlemen… | 现在 女士们先生们 |
| [55:44] | …without further ado… | 不用费力 |
| [55:46] | – …the man… – Look at these firs. | – 那个人 – 看看这些树 |
| [55:49] | America’s sweetheart! | 美国甜心 |
| [55:51] | Deck the halls with boughs of holly | 冬青树叶装饰大厅 |
| [55:52] | Holy shit. Neil. | 我靠 是尼尔 |
| [55:53] | Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la | 发啦啦啦啦 啦啦啦啦 |
| [55:56] | Dance. | 赶紧跳舞 |
| [55:57] | What? | 什么? |
| [55:58] | Blend. Blend. Blend. | 混进来 混进来 混进来 |
| [56:00] | KUMAR: Harold. Wait! | 等等 哈罗德 |
| [56:01] | Don we now our gay apparel | 丹 我们现在是明正言顺的同性恋人 |
| [56:04] | Fa-la-la, la-Ia-la, la-la-la | 发啦啦啦啦 啦啦啦啦 |
| [56:06] | Troll the ancient yuletide carol | 一遍遍唱着古老的圣诞歌曲 |
| [56:09] | Fa-la-la-Ia-la, la-la | 发啦啦啦啦 啦啦啦啦 |
| [56:11] | La-la! | 啦啦 |
| [56:17] | You better watch out You better not cry | 你最好注意 你最好不要哭泣 |
| [56:20] | You better not pout I’m tellin’ you why | 你最好不要撅小嘴 我会告诉你原因 |
| [56:23] | Santa Claus is comin’ | 圣诞老人就要降临 |
| [56:25] | To town | 来到城镇 |
| [56:28] | He sees you when you’re sleeping | 他会趁你熟睡来看望你 |
| [56:30] | He knows when you’re awake | 当你睡醉他会知道 |
| [56:34] | HAROLD: Oh, my God! | 天! |
| [56:35] | So be good for goodness’ sake | 好运降临必有原因 |
| [56:43] | Santa Claus is comin’ to town | 因为 |
| [56:53] | I played my drum for him | 我为他而敲鼓 |
| [56:55] | Pa rum pum pum pum | 啪 嘣嘣嘣嘣 |
| [56:59] | Then he | 然后他 |
| [57:01] | Smiled at me | 对我微笑 |
| [57:03] | Pa rum pum pum pum | 啪 嘣嘣嘣嘣 |
| [57:05] | Me and my drum | 我和鼓 |
| [57:16] | We wish you a merry Christmas | 祝大家圣诞快乐 |
| [57:19] | We wish you a merry Christmas | 祝大家圣诞快乐 |
| [57:22] | We wish you a merry Christmas | 祝大家圣诞快乐 |
| [57:24] | And a happy New Year | 恭贺新春 |
| [57:26] | We wish you a merry Christmas | 祝大家圣诞快乐 |
| [57:33] | And a happy | 新春 |
| [57:36] | New Year | 愉快 |
| [57:47] | Merry Christmas, everyone! | 大家圣诞快乐 |
| [57:51] | DIRECTOR: All right, that’s a cut. Great job | 好的 停! 演的好 |
| [57:53] | Great job. I’ve just got a few notes, okay? | 演的不错 我还有些意见 怎么样? |
| [57:56] | Just gonna come on the stage. | 现在得上台来 |
| [57:58] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [58:00] | Fucking tight jeans. | 牛仔裤太他妈紧了 |
| [58:03] | NPH, ha, ha. You are absolutely bringing the heat, and you are bringing it hard. | 天呢 |
| [58:08] | You’re a dream. I’m having… | 该死的紧身牛仔裤 |
| [58:10] | …a fabulous, amazing dream watching you perform. | NPH你把气氛带到高潮了 你简直是太棒了 |
| [58:13] | But unfortunately… | 但可惜的是 |
| [58:16] | …these talentless fuck butt-crackers… | 那些二逼的伴舞演员 |
| [58:19] | …are ruining everything! You! | 把整个表演都搞砸了 |
| [58:21] | Jonbenet, I’m talking to you, sweetie. | 琼贝尼 我说的就是你 |
| [58:25] | Where’d you learn to dance, honey? | 你在哪个鬼地方学的跳舞啊? |
| [58:26] | A fucking mini-mall in Des Moines? | 你他妈是在得梅因的小商场学的吧 |
| [58:29] | This is… | 这可是… |
| [58:31] | …the big time! | …大场面! |
| [58:33] | I will punch you in your face! | 我真想一巴掌扇死你! |
| [58:36] | I can run it again. | 我可以再来一次 |
| [58:38] | No, no, no. No, you skedaddle. | 不不不 你走吧 |
| [58:40] | Go and get some rest, huh? Make yourself fresh… | 去休息一会吧 保持精力旺盛 |
| [58:42] | …all right? Heh. And just remember… | 别忘了 你可是我们的… |
| [58:44] | …you’re a dream, and I’m having a big wet dream about you. | …希望 我可是全都指望你了 |
| [58:47] | Okay? Ha, ha. | 记着哦 |
| [58:49] | Take fucking five! | 都他妈的休息一会儿! |
| [58:52] | Damn it! | 我靠! |
| [58:58] | Hey, Gracie, chin up. | 格雷丝 高兴点 |
| [58:59] | Happens to the best of us. You up for… | 好运会降临的 你想不想… |
| [59:01] | …one-on-one rehearsing later? GRACIE: Wait. | – 呆会咱俩来个一对一个彩排呢? – 等等 |
| [59:04] | You know my name? | 你知道我的名字? |
| [59:05] | Of course. You’re doing great. I thought we could work on a thing or two. | 当然啊 你跳的不错 我觉得我们应该尝试多合作几次 |
| [59:10] | – In my dressing room, five minutes. – Yes! | – 在我的更衣室 就五分钟 – 太棒了 |
| [59:13] | Thank you so much, Mr. Patrick Harris. | 太感谢您了,帕特里克? 哈里丝先生 |
| [59:15] | – I’ll get changed and be right over. – I’ll see you then. | – 我换完衣服后马上去 – 一会见 |
| [59:20] | You really think Neil can get us one of those trees? | 你真的觉得尼尔能把我们弄到树 |
| [59:23] | After all we’ve been through with that guy, he better. | 我们一起过经历大风大浪 他最好帮咱们 |
| [59:26] | No shit. | 靠 |
| [59:28] | REPORTER: Neil, Neil, Neil, Dan Frye. | 尼尔 尼尔 我是丹? 弗赖伊 |
| [59:29] | Hollywood Hearsay. | 来自好莱坞的大耳朵节目 |
| [59:31] | Is it true that you’re replacing Regis? | 你替代了瑞吉斯这是真的吗? |
| [59:33] | NEIL: It’ll be tough between… | 在《老爸老妈浪漫史》和慈善工作上 |
| [59:34] | …How I Met Your Mother and charity work, but we’ll see. | 是挺难选择的 走着瞧吧 |
| [59:37] | Oh, wow. And you stunned fans | 哇哦 当你说是个同性恋的时候 |
| [59:39] | when you said you were gay. | 几乎让你的粉丝们昏倒 |
| [59:40] | How has this affected your relationship with your partner, David? | 这影响到了你和你的同伴大卫 的感情生活了吗? |
| [59:43] | Well, maybe this’ll answer your question. | 也许这是最佳答案 |
| [59:47] | So hot, NPH. | 太劲了 NPH |
| [59:49] | Mm, mm. Ha-ha-ha. Hey. How about that? | 怎么样? |
| [59:52] | Thank you. I love you guys. | 谢谢 我爱你们 |
| [59:55] | Ugh. What did I tell you about using tongue? | 不是说了不要用舌头吗? |
| [59:57] | You wanted it to look realistic. | 你说要看起来跟真的一样 |
| [59:59] | Yeah, realistic, not fucking gay as shit. | 是啊 是逼真点 不是跟个傻逼一样 |
| [1:00:02] | The only reason I put up with this homo crap is for the p-tang. | 我装同性恋的唯一原因就是为了皮唐 |
| [1:00:05] | DAVID: Fuck this! I got a wife… | 我操 我有老婆 |
| [1:00:06] | …and kid. I’m out of here. | 还有孩子 老子不陪你玩了 |
| [1:00:08] | NEIL: Wait, man. | 等等 哥们 |
| [1:00:09] | What about the stuff? | 东西呢? |
| [1:00:11] | DAVID: What stuff? – The stuff. | – 什么东西? – 就是那个东西啊 |
| [1:00:12] | Give me the stuff. | 把东西给我 |
| [1:00:14] | This stuff? | 这个东东? |
| [1:00:16] | Oh, yeah. | 哦…好啊 |
| [1:00:17] | You’d like this bag of crack. | 你挺喜欢这袋毒品的 |
| [1:00:19] | Wouldn’t you? | 是不是? |
| [1:00:20] | Well, maybe I should give it to someone else. | 或许吧 我可以把它卖给别人 |
| [1:00:23] | You know I got Fred Savage on speed dial. | 我刚刚给弗雷德·萨维奇打了电话 |
| [1:00:25] | Fuck Savage! That rock is mine! | 去他的萨维奇! 这东西是我的! |
| [1:00:27] | Give it to me. Come on, David, give me the stuff. Give me the sugar. | 给我 拜托啊 大卫 求你了 东西给我吧 |
| [1:00:31] | – Put money in my account. – You got it. Done. | – 把钱汇到我帐户里 – 没问题 听你的 |
| [1:00:34] | – And sing at my niece’s quincea?era. – All right, I’ll sing. | – 要在我侄女的成人礼上唱歌 – 好的 我唱 |
| [1:00:37] | – You can’t fuck her! – I can’t promise. | – 你不能上她 – 我不敢保证 |
| [1:00:39] | – Fine. – No! All right! | – 好啊 – 不不 好吧 |
| [1:00:40] | I won’t fuck her! | 我不干她! |
| [1:00:41] | Just let me have the rock. | 给我吧 |
| [1:00:43] | GRACIE: Excuse me, Neil? | 尼尔 打扰一下 |
| [1:00:44] | Oh. Oh, this is… | 哦…这个… |
| [1:00:45] | I can come back later. | 我还是呆会再来吧 |
| [1:00:46] | – No! No, I’m heading out. Ha, ha. – No, we were just… Hi. | – 不不 我正要走呢 哈哈 – 不 我们正要 |
| [1:00:50] | Bye-bye, sweet pea. | 再见 我的小甜豆 |
| [1:00:52] | – You behave yourself, peaches. Ha-ha-ha. DAVID: Always. | – 你自律点哦我的小桃桃 |
| [1:00:54] | You guys are too cute. | 你们俩简直羡煞旁人啊 |
| [1:00:55] | Fuck you. | 去死吧 |
| [1:00:56] | I do love… | 我真的是超爱 |
| [1:00:57] | …that handsome man. | 这个帅男银 |
| [1:00:59] | Thank you so much for this… | 非常感谢你给我这个机会 |
| [1:01:00] | …opportunity to work with you. | 能和你一起工作 |
| [1:01:02] | Sure. Come on in. | 过来吧 |
| [1:01:04] | What would you like to rehearse? | 你想要从哪开始排练? |
| [1:01:05] | Oh. Nothing specific. Just some general stuff. | 没什么具体的情节 就平常那点东西 |
| [1:01:08] | You seemed tense. I thought we could loosen you up. | 你看起来好紧张啊 我觉得应该让你 放松放松 |
| [1:01:10] | Take your sweater off. | 脱衣服吧 |
| [1:01:13] | Oh, no, no. | 哦 不是你想的那样 |
| [1:01:14] | David’ll tell you, these hands are magical. | 大卫会告诉你我按摩的手法 超棒的 |
| [1:01:15] | For a massage. Heh. | 就是做个按摩 |
| [1:01:18] | Well, I don’t really have anything on underneath, $0… | 我里面穿的比较少 |
| [1:01:21] | Oh, it’s okay. It’s just a couple girlfriends. | 没关系啊 就像是一对闺蜜一样 |
| [1:01:25] | Now take it off. | 脱了吧 |
| [1:01:27] | Okay. | 好 |
| [1:01:32] | Why don’t you lay on the bed? | 要不你躺在床上? |
| [1:01:44] | – Ow. – Sorry. | – 哦 – 抱歉 |
| [1:01:49] | Feels good. | 感觉不错 |
| [1:01:51] | Yeah, it does feel good. | 是啊 感觉起来真不错 |
| [1:01:52] | I can’t… I can’t… | 我不能…我不能 |
| [1:01:55] | – Can I take this bra off’? – Um… | – 能不能把你文胸解开? – 呃 |
| [1:01:58] | – It’s okay. Girlfriends. – Ha-ha-ha. | – 没关系 我们可是闺蜜哦 – 哈哈哈 |
| [1:02:01] | That’s better. | 好多了 |
| [1:02:02] | Should we do something? | 我们是不是该做点什么? |
| [1:02:04] | I don’t know, I kind of wanna see what happens next. | 我不知道 我想继续看下去 |
| [1:02:07] | Feels good. | 感觉真不错 |
| [1:02:08] | Oh, it’s so hard. | 太硬了 |
| [1:02:10] | This knot on your back is so hard. | 我是说你背上有块肌肉太僵硬了 |
| [1:02:12] | Look, don’t be alarmed… | 别害怕… |
| [1:02:15] | …but I’m gonna squirt some lotion on your back in about… | 我会在你背上涂点护肤乳… |
| [1:02:19] | …35 seconds. | 35秒 |
| [1:02:21] | Excuse me? | 你在干吗? |
| [1:02:22] | – Shut up. – What the fuck? | – 闭嘴 – 搞毛啊? |
| [1:02:23] | Shut the fuck up! | 你他妈的闭嘴! |
| [1:02:25] | Get the fuck off of me! | 你他妈的滚开! |
| [1:02:26] | You like it rough? I can play that way. | 你喜欢玩鞭打 我可以奉陪 |
| [1:02:28] | God! I thought you were gay! | 天那 我以为你是个同性恋! |
| [1:02:30] | I am gay. Gay for that pussy. | 我是同性恋啊 跟小妞们搞同性嘛 |
| [1:02:31] | Oh! | 哦 |
| [1:02:33] | I don’t know what sick game you’re playing… | 我不懂你要玩什么恶心玩意 |
| [1:02:35] | …but touch me again, I’ll rip your dick off! | 但你要是再碰我的话 我就把你给废了 |
| [1:02:43] | Morty, Kumar, long time. | 莫提 库玛 好久不见了 |
| [1:02:47] | It’s Harold, actually. | 我叫哈罗德 |
| [1:02:49] | Ha-ha-ha. Of course it is. | 当然 当然 |
| [1:02:51] | Come on, have a seat. | 过来 坐吧 |
| [1:02:52] | How long has it been? You two look great. Have you lost weight? | 多久没见了 你们俩看起来不错啊 你是不是减肥了? |
| [1:02:56] | Is that Hugo Boss? I love it. | 那个是什么”波士牌的 “? 我喜欢 |
| [1:02:58] | Well, thanks. Listen, um… | 谢谢 呃…听着 |
| [1:03:00] | Would you like a waffle, Mr. Harris? | 您想要块华夫饼吗 哈里斯先生? |
| [1:03:04] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [1:03:05] | God, I hate this… | 天呢 我真他妈的烦这个 |
| [1:03:06] | …fucking PancakeBot thing. | 烤饼机器人 |
| [1:03:08] | Dude, it’s a WaffleBot. | 哥们 是华夫伯特 |
| [1:03:10] | They’re awesome. | 他们多棒啊 |
| [1:03:11] | WaffleThing. | 做华夫的东西 |
| [1:03:12] | Get the fuck… | 你他妈的 |
| [1:03:13] | …out of my life! | 给我滚蛋 |
| [1:03:15] | Ouch. | 好疼 |
| [1:03:19] | Anyway… | 说真的 |
| [1:03:20] | …what can I do for you, my burglars of turd? | 我亲爱的两个狗屎朋友 我能帮你们什么忙? |
| [1:03:22] | Time-the-fuck-out. How are you still alive? | 时间是不是停止了 你怎么还活着? |
| [1:03:25] | Yeah, how the fuck? | 是啊 你他妈的怎么还活着呢? |
| [1:03:26] | What are you talking about? | 你俩什么意思啊? |
| [1:03:28] | We saw you get shot. | 我们看到你中枪了 |
| [1:03:30] | You have to be more specific. | 你得具体点 |
| [1:03:31] | In that whorehouse. | 在德克萨斯的 |
| [1:03:32] | In Texas. | 一家妓院 |
| [1:03:33] | You branded a prostitute. | 你在一个妓女的屁股上烙上你的名 |
| [1:03:35] | Remember? | 还记得吗? |
| [1:03:36] | Oh, yeah! | 哦 是的 |
| [1:03:38] | Now I remember. | 现在我想起来了 |
| [1:03:40] | It hurt like hell… | 刚开始 |
| [1:03:41] | at first | 疼的要命 |
| [1:03:42] | And then… | 然后 |
| [1:03:45] | …everything faded away. | 所有的事物都消失了 |
| [1:03:48] | And I went to heaven. | 然后我去了天堂 |
| [1:03:51] | It was exactly… | 那里跟我想像中的 |
| [1:03:52] | like I imagined it | 一模一样 |
| [1:03:55] | Saint Peter was there… | 圣彼得在那 |
| [1:03:56] | …to meet me. | 等着我 |
| [1:03:57] | Whoa. No way! | 哇哦 不会吧? |
| [1:03:59] | – NPH? – Yup. | – 是NPH? – 是 |
| [1:04:01] | ST. PETER: Make room! Make room! VIP! | 开间房 赶紧开间VIP房 |
| [1:04:06] | NEIL: The chicks were hot. The music was sick. | 这里的妞火爆了 这里的音乐烂透了 |
| [1:04:09] | There were lasers. | 还有激光效果 |
| [1:04:10] | It was like being famous… | 有点像早期著名的 |
| [1:04:12] | …in the early ’90s. | 九十年代酒吧 |
| [1:04:14] | BARTENDER: Yeah. | 哇哦 |
| [1:04:15] | There he is. NPH. | 大名鼎鼎的NPH啊 |
| [1:04:16] | Where the hell am I? | 我这是在什么鬼地方 |
| [1:04:17] | More like where the heaven are you? | 这可不是鬼地方 天堂哦 |
| [1:04:19] | BARTENDER: What can we get for you? NEIL & BARTENDERS: Whiskey. | – 你想要点什么? – 威士忌 |
| [1:04:21] | Straight up. And a glass of rocks on the side. | 不加冰 冰块另外装一杯 |
| [1:04:24] | Thanks. | 谢了哦 |
| [1:04:25] | Hey, hey, look at that. NPH, Neil Patrick Harris. | 喔喔喔 看那边 NPH 尼尔·帕特里克·哈里丝 |
| [1:04:29] | Would you guys be excited to meet him? | 小妞们 你们想会会他吗? |
| [1:04:31] | Come on, girls. I’ll introduce you. | 来吧 我介绍你们认识认识 |
| [1:04:34] | Neil Patrick Harris. My man. | 尼尔·帕特里克·哈里丝 兄弟 |
| [1:04:37] | Welcome to… | 欢迎来到 |
| [1:04:38] | …heaven. Good to have you on board, NPH. – Hi. | …天堂 真高兴你能来这 NPH |
| [1:04:40] | Or you prefer Neil? | 叫你尼尔怎么样? |
| [1:04:42] | Uh, either way, it doesn’t matter. Hey, ladies. | 随便 无所谓啦 嗨 女士们 |
| [1:04:44] | Neil Patrick Harris. I played Private Carl Jenkins… | 尼尔·帕特里克·哈里丝 我在星河战队里 |
| [1:04:47] | …in Starship Troopers. | 扮演过大兵卡尔·詹金斯 |
| [1:04:50] | Excuse me, uh, Neil. But I’m Jesus. So… | 打扰一下啦 我是耶稣 |
| [1:04:54] | Jesus…? | 哪个? |
| [1:04:56] | Jesus Christ. That’s me. I’m Jesus Christ, Neil. | 耶稣是我 我是耶稣 看这个 |
| [1:04:59] | Thanks. Couldn’t do it without the little people. | 哦哦 没这个小人还真不知道你 |
| [1:05:02] | Er… No. | 别笑 |
| [1:05:03] | NEIL: So, ladies, have you ever heard of something… | 嗨 女士们 你们有没有听过… |
| [1:05:06] | …called the Kama Sutra? JESUS: Come on, Neil. | – …印度爱经啊 – 尼尔 别这样 |
| [1:05:08] | Don’t play me like that. | 别跟我来这套啊 |
| [1:05:10] | I mean, I’m Jesus Christ. | 好歹我也是耶稣 |
| [1:05:11] | – I practically run this place. – Oh. For reals? | – 这就是我的地盘 – 哦 真的? |
| [1:05:13] | JESUS: Yeah, yeah, for real. | 对 对 就是我的 |
| [1:05:15] | I mean, my dad owns it but… | 实际上 这是我老爸的地盘 但是… |
| [1:05:16] | Ha, ha. You’re one of those. | 哦 了了 你富二代嘛 |
| [1:05:20] | Let’s get shots. Keep the party going. | 继续喝酒吧 继续嗨嗨 |
| [1:05:22] | – Shots. JESUS: Yeah, thanks. Couple of shots. | – 酒来了 – 嗯 谢了 多来点 |
| [1:05:24] | – That went bad. – I thought it went good. | – 这可不好啊 – 我觉得不错啊 |
| [1:05:26] | JESUS: So, girls… | 美女们 |
| [1:05:30] | Aw, come on. | 拜托 |
| [1:05:32] | How did that happen already? | 到底怎么回事嘛? |
| [1:05:36] | Give me the phone to Dad. | 我要给我老爸打个电话 |
| [1:05:38] | GOD: This is God. – Daddy? | – 我是上帝 – 老爸 |
| [1:05:40] | We need to 86 NPH ASAP. | 我们得把NPH送回去 |
| [1:05:42] | He’s getting a handjob in my club. | 他在我的夜店里正打飞机呢 |
| [1:05:46] | Jesus, what a cockblock. | 耶稣 就会破坏别人的好事 |
| [1:05:50] | Doesn’t explain the gay thing. | 你还没解释你变成同性恋的事 |
| [1:05:51] | You’re not gay, motherfucker. | 你个贱人 你不是同性恋 |
| [1:05:53] | At all. | 完全不是 |
| [1:05:56] | That’s a little something we magicians call “misdirection.” | 这就是我们魔术师常说的”错误引导” |
| [1:05:59] | Little trick I learned… | 我从克雷·艾肯身上学到的 |
| [1:06:00] | -…from Clay Aiken. – What? | – 一点小把戏 – 什么? |
| [1:06:01] | Clay Aiken’s not gay? | 克雷·艾肯不是同性恋吗? |
| [1:06:03] | Clay’s the biggest coozehound I know. That guy gets mad gash. | 克雷就是个吹牛皮的 这家伙能把你们吹上天 |
| [1:06:07] | HAROLD: Neil, listen. | 尼尔 听着 |
| [1:06:08] | I was wondering if… | 我琢磨着 |
| [1:06:10] | I can get you one of those Christmas trees? | 我能不能帮你把那棵圣诞树给偷出来? |
| [1:06:12] | Sure, no problem. | 当然 没问题 |
| [1:06:13] | How’d you know that? | 你怎么知道? |
| [1:06:15] | I can read your mind. | 我会读心术 |
| [1:06:18] | KUMAR: All right. | 好吧 |
| [1:06:19] | You might be able to…? | 你可不可以? |
| [1:06:21] | Hook you up with a free WaffleBot? You know what? Take mine. | 能不能帮你弄到一个免费的华夫伯特? 把我的给你 |
| [1:06:24] | I hate that android fuck. | 我讨厌死这个长的像安卓机器人的东西了 |
| [1:06:26] | Don’t call him that, dude. What’s up, WaffleBot? | 别那么叫他嘛 你好吗? 华夫伯特 |
| [1:06:29] | Waffles are awesome. Pancakes suck, right? | 华夫饼超级好吃 薄煎饼才难吃的要死 对不对? |
| [1:06:31] | I hate pancakes. | 我讨厌薄煎饼 |
| [1:06:33] | I know, so do I. | 我知道 我也是啊 |
| [1:06:34] | Kumar. | 库玛 |
| [1:06:37] | Thanks, Neil. | 谢了 尼尔 |
| [1:06:38] | – Thanks. NEIL: No problem. | – 谢谢 – 别客气 |
| [1:06:39] | Hey, merry Christmas, guys. We’ll see you in the fourth one. | 圣诞快乐 朋友们 我们第四部再见 |
| [1:06:44] | HAROLD: God, this is amazing. We’re actually gonna make it home before they do. | 天啊 太帅了 我们肯定能在 他们到家之前搞定的 |
| [1:06:47] | – We saved Christmas, man. KUMAR: Mission accomplished. | – 我们拯救了圣诞节 不可能完成的任务 |
| [1:06:50] | – All right, put down the tree. Put it down. – Unh! | – 等会 把树放下 |
| [1:06:52] | HAROLD: All right. – Waffle break? | – 好的 – 华夫饼时间? |
| [1:06:54] | All right. Oh, God. | 上帝 |
| [1:06:56] | Oh, my God. WaffleBot. | 天啊 华夫伯特 |
| [1:06:58] | Dude, seriously… | 哥们 说真的 |
| [1:06:59] | …these are incredible waffles. | 这些华夫饼真是太好吃了 |
| [1:07:01] | Kumar and WaffleBot friends forever. | 库玛和华夫伯特永远是好朋友 |
| [1:07:04] | Ha, ha. No doubt, WaffleBot | 当然了 华夫伯特 |
| [1:07:06] | I love you | 我爱你 |
| [1:07:08] | – …Kumar. – Ha, ha. | – 库玛 – 哈哈哈 |
| [1:07:10] | I love you too, little guy. | 我也爱你 小家伙 |
| [1:07:12] | HAROLD: What the fuck? | 搞毛啊? |
| [1:07:12] | That is the weirdest fucking toy. | 这个玩具真他妈奇怪 |
| [1:07:15] | You’re happy… | 你挺开心呗 |
| [1:07:16] | See? You’re laughing. You’re having fun. Admit it: | 看 你在笑哦 你玩的挺开心是不 不得不承认 |
| [1:07:18] | I’m more fun to hang out with than Todd | 跟我是比跟托德出去玩开心多吧 |
| [1:07:20] | Todd and Ava. I totally forgot about them. | 托德和艾娃我差点把他们给忘了 |
| [1:07:23] | I’m sure they’re fine, right? | 我保证他们没事 |
| [1:07:25] | It’s going to voice-mail. | 转到语音信箱了 |
| [1:07:26] | I think they’re fine. Todd’s a big boy. | 我觉得他们应该没事 托德是大人了 |
| [1:07:28] | He’s probably putting her to bed or something. | 他或许正在哄艾娃睡觉 或者在干别的 |
| [1:07:31] | Yeah. They’re probably fine, right? | 是啊 他们应该没事 对吧? |
| [1:07:36] | Look at me, look at me! | 看着我 看着我 |
| [1:07:38] | Why wasn’t you at school today? | 为什么你今天没去上学? |
| [1:07:40] | I went to the park. | 我去公园了 |
| [1:07:41] | She lying… | 她在说谎 |
| [1:07:43] | What was you doing? You supposed to be at school. | 你在公园干吗? 你应该在学校 |
| [1:07:47] | Little girl, I’m not gonna ask you no more. | 小女孩 我以后什么都不会问你了 |
| [1:07:49] | NIKKI: I’m not smart like the other kids. I can’t do that stuff. | 我不像其他的孩子那么聪明 学校的课我根本应付不了 |
| [1:07:53] | MADEA: Who told you that? | 谁告诉你的? |
| [1:07:55] | My last foster mother. | 我前任继母 |
| [1:07:57] | She told me that the only thing | 对我说 我做的唯一一件聪明的事情 |
| [1:08:00] | I’m gonna be smart enough to do is lay on my back. | 就是呆呆的躺在那里 |
| [1:08:01] | MADEA: The best revenge you can have on somebody that told you that… | 如果你想要报复那些对你说这种话的人 |
| [1:08:05] | …is to prove them wrong. | 最好的方式就是证明他的话是错的 |
| [1:08:07] | I went to that school and I got your homework. | 我去学校 我帮你写作业 |
| [1:08:09] | Are you fucking kidding me? | 你他妈开什么国际玩笑? |
| [1:08:13] | – Oh. – Oh. | – 哦 – 哦 |
| [1:08:14] | Maybe that’s Todd. | 也许是托德 |
| [1:08:16] | Whoa, why is Vanessa calling you? | 哦 为什么凡妮莎给你打电话? |
| [1:08:18] | Oh, that’s because Maria is… | 是因为玛丽亚是… |
| [1:08:19] | – Hello? VANESSA: Kumar? | – 喂? – 库玛? |
| [1:08:21] | – Is that you? – Yeah. | – 是你吗? – 是 |
| [1:08:22] | Why are you calling Harold? | 为什么你要给哈罗德打电话? |
| [1:08:25] | Can I just speak to him, please? | 我想跟他说话 行吗? |
| [1:08:26] | What? No. | 啥? 没门 |
| [1:08:28] | I’ve been texting you. | 我给你发了短信 |
| [1:08:29] | I haven ‘1’ heard back. What’s going on? | 你都没给我回 到底怎么回事? |
| [1:08:31] | Tell him I’m not gonna… | 告诉哈罗德一声 |
| [1:08:32] | …make it to his party tomorrow. | 我明天可能参加不了他的聚会了 |
| [1:08:34] | Oh. Oh, you’re not gonna make it… | 哦 你不去参加 |
| [1:08:37] | She won’t make it to your party. Too bad. | 她不去参加你的聚会了 真的吗 那太糟了 |
| [1:08:39] | What else have you been doing behind my back? | 你们俩还背着我干什么了? |
| [1:08:42] | Has she seen your dick? Is it bigger than mine? | 她见过你的小弟弟吗? 比我的大吗? |
| [1:08:44] | Kumar, you’re acting ridiculous, okay? Goodbye. | 库玛 你太可笑了 再见 |
| [1:08:47] | No, don’t hang up the phone on me. | 等会 不准挂我电话 |
| [1:08:49] | Hello? | 喂? |
| [1:08:51] | Here’s your phone. | 电话还给你 |
| [1:08:53] | What is that? | 到底怎么回事? |
| [1:08:54] | That’s Vanessa, Todd, Rosenberg, Uncle Yoav. | 凡妮莎 托德 罗森伯格 尤夫叔 |
| [1:08:57] | Does everybody know about this party? | 是不是除了我每个人都知道聚会这件事? |
| [1:08:59] | Listen, if you want you can come. | 听着 如果你愿意的话你也可以来 |
| [1:09:01] | I don’t wanna come to your shitty-ass party, dude. | 我才不要去你的什么狗屁烂聚会呢 |
| [1:09:04] | I can’t believe you’d invite Vanessa and not tell me. | 真不敢相信你居然邀请凡妮莎而且没告诉我 |
| [1:09:06] | Am I supposed to feel bad? | 那我应该感觉很对不起你吗? |
| [1:09:08] | Maybe if you acted more like an adult, | 如果你的言行举止更像个成年人的话 |
| [1:09:10] | you’d get invited to adult parties. | 也许就会有人请你参加成人派对 |
| [1:09:11] | Maybe you should go back to your fancy house… | 或许你应该回到你那充满幻想的房子 |
| [1:09:14] | …with your douchey friends and gay-ass sconces. | 和你那些脑子进水的狗屁朋友在一起 |
| [1:09:16] | I don’t need to be part of this. | 我才不需要参加这种派对呢 |
| [1:09:18] | I love those sconces. | 我喜欢他们 |
| [1:09:19] | You know, I was really happy till you showed up today. | 我挺高兴你今天终于说出你的心声了 |
| [1:09:22] | Okay. Well, then, fuck it, dude. | 行啊 那好啊 我操 |
| [1:09:24] | – I’m out. – Fine with me. | – 我不干了 – 我也是 |
| [1:09:26] | Fine. | 行啊 |
| [1:09:26] | – Cool. – All right. | – 好啊 – 就这样了 |
| [1:09:28] | – Are we having lovers’ quarrel? – Oh, shit. | – 小两口吵什么呢? – 我靠 |
| [1:09:35] | Kumar, my friend. | 库玛 我的朋友 |
| [1:09:42] | Oh, look. | 哎 看啊 |
| [1:09:43] | A WaffleBot. | 一个华夫饼机器人 |
| [1:09:44] | GUSTAV: Mary would… | 玛丽也许 |
| [1:09:45] | …love one of these. – Uh-huh. | – 会喜欢他的 – 嗯那 |
| [1:09:47] | GUSTAV: Grab it. | 抓住他 |
| [1:09:48] | Oh, crap. | 哦 完蛋了 |
| [1:09:55] | GUSTAV: Wake up! | 醒醒! |
| [1:09:57] | Wake up! Wake up! | 醒醒 醒醒 |
| [1:10:00] | Wake up. | 醒醒 |
| [1:10:03] | – Wake up. – Oh. | – 醒醒 – 哦 |
| [1:10:05] | Oh, shit. | 我靠 |
| [1:10:07] | Please, I don’t know what we’ve done, but please let us go. | 拜托 我不知道我们干什么坏事了 但求你放了我们吧 |
| [1:10:10] | After you made Eiffel Tower on Mary? | 在你们强暴了玛丽之后 |
| [1:10:12] | That was a misunderstanding. | 那是误会 |
| [1:10:14] | I’m freezing! Give us back our clothes. | 我快冻死了 把衣服还给我们 |
| [1:10:16] | Yuri, warm them up. | 尤利 给他们暖暖身 |
| [1:10:22] | WAFFLEBOT: Kumar. | 库玛 |
| [1:10:25] | KUMAR: Please don’t do that. | 拜托! 不要 |
| [1:10:26] | Please, please, please. There is a very serious gas crisis… | 拜托! 拜托! 拜托 现在世界上正在闹能源危机呢 |
| [1:10:29] | …in the world. Let’s discuss. – Come on, man! | – 有话慢慢说啊 – 拜托 哥们! |
| [1:10:32] | As they say in my country: | 用我国语言说就是: |
| [1:10:36] | No, don’t say “do svidaniya.” | 千万别说 “拜拜了您啊” |
| [1:10:38] | Yuri, light them up. | 拜拜了您啊 |
| [1:10:40] | No, please don’t light us up. | 拜托 |
| [1:10:48] | You didn’t get the lighter. | 你没带打火机啊? |
| [1:10:50] | You said gasoline, Orbits and coffee. | 你只说汽油和咖啡 |
| [1:10:53] | Nothing about lighter. | 没提到打火机啊? |
| [1:10:55] | GUSTAV: You stupid… | 你个缺心眼的 |
| [1:10:57] | …fucking moron! | 低能弱智儿 |
| [1:11:00] | What do you think we light the gasoline with? | 没打火机你他妈的拿什么点火 |
| [1:11:03] | You know what, Gustav? | 古斯塔夫,我就这么跟你说吧 |
| [1:11:04] | I’m sick and tired of your fucking passive-aggressive bullshit. | 我实在是受不了你这个 又消极又喜欢骂人的傻逼了 |
| [1:11:08] | – You know what this is about? – What? | – 你知道你为什么这么做吗? – 什么? |
| [1:11:10] | Tell me what is it about. | 你到是说说为什么 |
| [1:11:12] | You can’t take the fact that Sergei likes me better than you. | 就是你受不了事实上老大更喜欢我 而不是你 |
| [1:11:18] | Oh, shit. | 我靠! |
| [1:11:30] | Hey, guys, stop! | 伙计们 住手! |
| [1:11:31] | Stop! Guys, guys, stop it, stop it | 住手啊 朋友们 别打了! |
| [1:11:35] | Now, look, I understand that you guys have your issues, okay? | 我知道你们之间有点误会 对吗? |
| [1:11:39] | But wasn’t there a time you actually used to get along? You might be in… | 你们曾经也相亲相爱 不是吗? 也许后来你们分开 |
| [1:11:43] | …a different time and place, but that doesn’t change the fact that you… | 不同的时间 不同的地点 但并不能改变你们曾经在一起 |
| [1:11:47] | …have a long and probably beautiful history together. | 度过的那些美好时光 |
| [1:11:51] | Yeah, maybe one of you fucks up | 是啊 也许你们中的一个总是把 |
| [1:11:53] | every now and again. | 事情搞砸 即使现在也是如此 |
| [1:11:55] | Happens. | 经常发生 |
| [1:11:57] | Maybe he fucks up all the time. | 或者一直都在闯祸 |
| [1:12:00] | Doesn’t mean the other should forget about the good times. | 并不是说另一个就能把一起共渡的 美好时光给忘记 |
| [1:12:03] | Right. | 是的 |
| [1:12:06] | Right. | 没错 |
| [1:12:07] | Yeah, and maybe just because the other one. | 或者只是因为另一个人 |
| [1:12:12] | …Is trying to act like an adult… | 他正在努力去成为一个真正的大人 |
| [1:12:14] | …and be responsible doesn’t necessarily mean… | 更有责任感 |
| [1:12:17] | …that he’s being a fucking chode. | 没必要觉得他是个混蛋 |
| [1:12:20] | Maybe he’s been a chode, caring more about bay windows… | 或许他就是个混蛋 把时间都花在去装饰凸窗 |
| [1:12:24] | …and sconces than a lifetime of friendship. | 和烛台上 却忽略了友情 |
| [1:12:28] | What do you say, GUYS? | 你们说呢? |
| [1:12:35] | – Yeah, hug it out. – All right. | – 一抱泯恩仇 – 是啊 |
| [1:12:37] | He)’, guys. | 哥们 |
| [1:12:38] | How about you cut us out? | 帮我们把绳子解开好吗? |
| [1:12:40] | We’ll go get ourselves a Christmas beer. | 咱几个一起去喝一杯啤酒 |
| [1:12:42] | – A beer sounds great. HAROLD: Awesome. | – 喝啤酒这主意不错 确实不错 |
| [1:12:46] | GUSTAV: But first… | 但首先 |
| [1:12:47] | …we have some killing to do. | 我们得先杀两个人 |
| [1:12:49] | Come on! | 不是吧 |
| [1:12:50] | After we just had that breakthrough? | 你认真的啊 我们的友情刚刚有突破性的进展啊 |
| [1:12:51] | Sorry. Say your goodbyes. It’ll all be over quick. | 对不起了 说再见吧 一切都 会很快结束的 |
| [1:12:57] | – Is this how we die’? – I think so, dude. | – 咱俩就这么完了? – 我想是的 哥们 |
| [1:13:01] | Bye, Kumar. | 永别了 库玛 |
| [1:13:03] | Bye, Harold. | 永别了 哈罗德 |
| [1:13:05] | WAFFLEBOT: Kumar. | 库玛 |
| [1:13:06] | Your waffles… | 你的华夫饼… |
| [1:13:08] | – …are ready. – WaffleBot? | – 已经做好了 – 华夫伯特 |
| [1:13:11] | These guys think pancakes are better than waffles. | 这两家伙觉得薄煎饼比华夫饼好吃 |
| [1:13:14] | I hate… | 我讨厌 |
| [1:13:15] | pancakes. | 薄煎饼 |
| [1:13:23] | They serve pancakes… | 想吃薄煎饼… |
| [1:13:24] | …in hell… | …去地狱吃吧 |
| [1:13:32] | BOTH: Holy shit! | 我靠! |
| [1:13:34] | You hurt my brother! | 你敢弄伤我兄弟! |
| [1:13:44] | – How do we get out of these ropes? – WaffleBot. | – 咱俩怎么把绳子解开啊? – 华夫伯特 |
| [1:13:47] | Kumar. | 库玛 |
| [1:13:49] | Can you untie us? | 你能帮我们解开吗? |
| [1:13:51] | Battery low | 电量低 |
| [1:13:52] | Losing… | 电量 |
| [1:13:54] | …power. | 快用尽 |
| [1:13:55] | WaffleBot, look at me. | 华夫伯特 看着我 |
| [1:13:56] | You can do this, man. | 你能做到 朋友 |
| [1:14:09] | – Ha, ha. – Oh, man. Thanks, WaffleBot. | – 哈哈 – 谢谢了 华夫伯特 |
| [1:14:13] | You’re welcome, Kumar. | 不客气 库玛 |
| [1:14:15] | Pancakes are fucking gay. | 薄煎饼太他妈基了 |
| [1:14:22] | Holy shit. That is the best Christmas toy ever. | 这是我拥有过的最好的圣诞礼物了 |
| [1:14:26] | HAROLD: I guess. It’s extraordinarily… | 我觉得 实在是有点不安全 |
| [1:14:27] | …unsafe, but it did save our lives. | 但它却救了我们 |
| [1:14:31] | – Listen, man, I… – Man, this… | – 听着 伙计…我 – 朋友 这… |
| [1:14:33] | – Aah! – Oh, my God. | – 啊! – 我的天 |
| [1:14:36] | Holy shit! | 我靠! |
| [1:14:38] | This is like that… | 这种情景 |
| [1:14:39] | …scene from A Christmas Story. | 有点像我看的那个圣诞故事啊 |
| [1:14:41] | Is it like the scene from A Christmas Story? | 这跟电视里演的一样? |
| [1:14:43] | I just saw this scene. | 我正好看到这段啊! |
| [1:14:46] | – Oh, fuck! – Okay, we need… | – 我操! – 我们需要 |
| [1:14:48] | …some sort of a warm liquid. I’ll spit on it. | 热一点的东西 我吐口水上面 |
| [1:14:51] | Don’t fucking spit on my dick! | 别在我的鸡巴上吐口水 |
| [1:14:52] | Fine. Can you pee on it? | 行 那你能尿出来不? |
| [1:14:54] | Give me a second. | 给我点时间 |
| [1:14:56] | – It’s not working. – Fine, I’ll pee on it. | – 尿不出来 – 那我尿在上面 |
| [1:14:58] | Don’t pee on me! | 别拿尿浇我! |
| [1:14:59] | Jesus! Well, then what the hell do…? | 天呢!你到底要我咋办? |
| [1:15:01] | – Oh. Our clothes. – Oh. | – 衣服 – 哦 |
| [1:15:04] | Cool about the clothes. | 还惦记者衣服 |
| [1:15:05] | My dick’s stuck to a pole! | 我的鸡鸡粘在杆子上了 |
| [1:15:09] | Dude, you’re in luck. There’s still coffee in here. | 你真走运 这有点咖啡 |
| [1:15:12] | Get it over here. Hurry the fuck up! | 赶紧过来 他妈的快点 |
| [1:15:14] | Okay, look, this is scalding hot coffee. | 好的 听着 这咖啡有点烫啊 |
| [1:15:16] | So I’m just gonna pour a little bit on. Probably gonna sting for a second. | 所以我就倒一点点 可能会疼一小会 |
| [1:15:20] | – Get it over with! – All right. | – 来吧! – 好 |
| [1:15:22] | Just let me just… | 我就浇一点 |
| [1:15:26] | – I’m sorry. – Fuck! | – 真对不起 – 操! |
| [1:15:27] | Oh, God, I ruined your dick! | 哥们 真对不起! |
| [1:15:29] | Oh, fuck! I’m sorry, dude! | 我毁了你的小鸡鸡 |
| [1:15:29] | You asshole! | 你个王八蛋! |
| [1:15:30] | Just walk it off. | 走两步就好 |
| [1:15:32] | Walk it off. | 走两步就好 |
| [1:15:37] | How long are we supposed to stay in here? | 我们还要在这呆多久了? |
| [1:15:39] | Until that fucking Russian sociopathic… | 直到那个恐怖分子的 |
| [1:15:42] | …killing machine leaves. | 俄国佬离开这里 |
| [1:15:47] | They gave my daughter ecstasy. | 他们让我的宝贝吸大麻 |
| [1:15:51] | I don’t know Russian, but he seems a little upset. | 我不太懂俄语 但是他看起来不太高兴啊 |
| [1:15:53] | I’d say so. Shh, shh! | 我也想这么说 嘘! |
| [1:15:55] | ADRIAN: She’s crashing hard. | 她会撞东西的 |
| [1:15:57] | We gotta give her more blow. | 我们再给她点东西 |
| [1:15:58] | No, no! No more cocaine! | 不行不行 不能再给可卡因了 |
| [1:16:00] | I need it! | 我要! |
| [1:16:01] | – There’s some. – Do not give her more! | – 这地方还有点 – 别再给她了! |
| [1:16:03] | Give it to me! | 给我! |
| [1:16:04] | TODD: Ava, no! No, please! | 艾娃 不要 拜托! |
| [1:16:05] | Stop for Daddy. Shh, shh! Please! | 为了你老爸 别敲了 嘘…嘘 |
| [1:16:07] | ADRIAN: Dude, look. | 听着 |
| [1:16:09] | Oh, this is not good! | 有点不太妙啊! |
| [1:16:10] | Oh, this is not good. | 有点不太妙啊 |
| [1:16:11] | Oh, this is not good! | 有点不太妙啊! |
| [1:16:13] | Ava! Scooch to Daddy! Hide behind Daddy! | 艾娃 爬到爸爸这边来! 躲在爸爸后面! |
| [1:16:15] | ADRIAN: New plan. Let’s bash through the door. | 新计划 咱俩一起把门给撞开 |
| [1:16:18] | You steal his gun. | 你趁机抢走他的枪 |
| [1:16:19] | That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! | 这是我听过的最傻缺的计划了 |
| [1:16:44] | Oh, fuck me. Fuck. I’m… | 我靠啊 |
| [1:16:48] | I’m so sorry. Wow. | 真抱歉 |
| [1:16:50] | I thought that would knock you out, obviously. | 很明显 我应该把你给打昏才行 |
| [1:16:52] | Look. We are… | 听着 |
| [1:16:54] | …two reasonable guys… | 我们两可是文明人啊 |
| [1:16:55] | …and… | …而且… |
| [1:17:02] | These are dangerous, but, aw, it’s a great workout. | 这些东西挺危险 但确实是好的健身器材 |
| [1:17:05] | You can really feel it. | 你可以感觉到 |
| [1:17:07] | Bis, pecs, this one. | 这块肌肉来回的拉伸 |
| [1:17:10] | TODD: Thank you, Adrian. | 谢谢 艾德里安 |
| [1:17:11] | That was a really great team effort. | 真是伟大的团队精神 |
| [1:17:13] | Who’s my sidekick? You are. | 谁是我的好朋友呢? 当然是你 |
| [1:17:15] | Let’s go. | 咱走吧 |
| [1:17:16] | Good girl! Let’s go home! Let’s go see Santa. | 好孩子! 咱们回家喽 去看圣诞老人 |
| [1:17:19] | Oh, mints! | 薄荷糖! |
| [1:17:25] | HAROLD: Where the fuck are we? | 我们他妈的在哪啊? |
| [1:17:27] | Those guys weren’t kidding. We’re in the middle of nowhere. | 那两家伙是不是搞笑啊 把我们弄到这鸟不拉屎的地方 |
| [1:17:31] | Do you have any bars? | 你手机能收到信号不? |
| [1:17:33] | – I got no bars. – Shit. Nothing here. | – 没信号 – 没有 |
| [1:17:35] | Hello? | 你好? |
| [1:17:38] | Anybody here? | 这有人吗? |
| [1:17:41] | Forget it. Just… | 算了吧 |
| [1:17:42] | Forget it. It’s past 2 a.m. | 还是算了吧 已经凌晨两点了 |
| [1:17:44] | They’re home, wondering where I am, where the tree is. | 他们已经回家了 肯定在想我在哪 树在哪 |
| [1:17:47] | I just… | 我就是个… |
| [1:17:49] | It’s such a disaster, this fucking night. | 大大的衰人 这倒霉的夜晚 |
| [1:17:51] | Yeah, you have no fucking idea, dude. | 是啊 你他妈的也没个主意 |
| [1:17:53] | No. When Maria’s dad… | 不 当玛丽亚的爸爸 |
| [1:17:55] | …was a young boy in Medellin- – Vanessa’s pregnant. | – 小时候还住在梅德里林的时候 – 凡尼莎怀孕了 |
| [1:17:58] | What? | 什么? |
| [1:17:59] | She told me earlier today. My reaction was not awesome. | 今早她告诉我的 我的反应也不太积极 |
| [1:18:02] | I thought weed stunted fertility. That’s why I quit. | 我觉得大麻会导致不孕不育 所以我才戒大麻啊 |
| [1:18:05] | Yeah. Tell that to Snoop’s kids. | 是啊 跟史努比的孩子们说去吧 |
| [1:18:08] | Wait a second, that’s why you quit weed? | 等等 这就是你戒毒的原因? |
| [1:18:10] | Yeah, that’s why I… | 是啊 这就是我戒大麻的原因 |
| [1:18:13] | We’ve been trying for like a… For a year. | 我们已经努力一年了 |
| [1:18:17] | Oh, man. | 哥们 |
| [1:18:18] | Now I feel even worse about your dick. | 我觉得你小鸡鸡好可怜啊 |
| [1:18:21] | I don’t wanna… | 我不想 |
| [1:18:22] | How do we get out? | 我们怎么离开这啊? |
| [1:18:26] | I got an idea. | 我有办法 |
| [1:18:30] | I saw this in a movie, man. | 我看过一个电影 |
| [1:18:31] | Just shoot this motherfucker, people come. | 开几枪 人们就会闻声而来 |
| [1:18:34] | We can find people. | 我们能找到人啊 |
| [1:18:35] | No, it’s fine. Aah! | 不 这个比较有用 |
| [1:18:41] | Now what? | 现在呢 |
| [1:18:43] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [1:18:48] | No fucking way. | 不会吧 |
| [1:18:59] | Santa, can you hear me? | 圣诞老人 你能听到我说话吗? |
| [1:19:01] | Oh, what the fuck? | 搞毛啊? |
| [1:19:03] | Lie still. You’ve been in a terrible accident. | 还活着 你刚刚发生了意外 |
| [1:19:04] | I’m gonna take a closer look. | 我现在要仔细的为你检察一下 |
| [1:19:08] | Oh, God! | 上帝! |
| [1:19:09] | This isn’t good. | 情况不太好 |
| [1:19:10] | Mr. Claus, can you feel… | 你能感觉到 |
| [1:19:11] | …any of this? | 这个吗? |
| [1:19:14] | SANTA: Just let me die, please! | 让我死吧 求你了! |
| [1:19:15] | Let me die in peace! | 让我平静的死去! |
| [1:19:17] | No. Nobody’s dying, Claus. Not on my watch. | 不会有人死的 至少在我面前不会 |
| [1:19:20] | Listen to me. I need you to go into Santa’s gift bag… | 听着 我要你去他的礼物袋里 |
| [1:19:23] | …get as many medical supplies as you can. | 尽可能的找到一些医药品 |
| [1:19:42] | KUMAR: Ah, there. | 好了 |
| [1:19:44] | I think that’ll do it. | 我觉得挺管用的 |
| [1:19:45] | How do you feel, Mr. Claus? | 感觉如何 圣诞老公公 |
| [1:19:47] | Uh, a little woozy. | 有点晕 |
| [1:19:49] | The morphine. It’ll wear off. | 是吗啡的作用 一会就会好的 |
| [1:19:51] | Nice. But I… | 不错 但是 |
| [1:19:53] | …think I’m okay. | 我觉得我没事 |
| [1:19:54] | Look, Santa, we’re so sorry. | 圣诞老人 我们很抱歉 |
| [1:19:58] | Oh, I know it wasn’t your fault. | 我知道不是你们的错 |
| [1:20:00] | You two have always been good boys. | 你俩一直是好孩子 |
| [1:20:03] | Tell that to my father-in-law. | 这话应该告诉我的岳父 |
| [1:20:05] | Hey, man, I can take the blame for that, all right? | 我才是罪人 |
| [1:20:08] | Listen, I’d love to stay and chat… | 我很想留下来陪你们聊天 |
| [1:20:10] | …but I’m running a little late and I have all these… | 但我得赶紧去送礼物呢 |
| [1:20:13] | …presents to deliver. | 现在可能迟到了 |
| [1:20:15] | So you guys need a ride or something? | 你们需要我载你们一程吗? |
| [1:20:18] | Seriously? | 真的吗? |
| [1:20:19] | KUMAR: Ha, ha. Dude, this is awesome! | 哥们 这太酷了! |
| [1:20:22] | It’s not not awesome! | 不仅仅是酷啊! |
| [1:20:24] | On, Blitzen! Hyah! | 驾! |
| [1:20:41] | Thanks for the ride. | 谢谢你载我们回来 |
| [1:20:43] | I’m guessing… | 我想知道 |
| [1:20:44] | …you don’t have a 12-foot Fraser fir? | 你有没有一棵3米6长的冷杉树? |
| [1:20:47] | Sorry. I can’t help you there. | 对不起 帮不了你 |
| [1:20:49] | Besides… | 但是 |
| [1:20:50] | …I gave you your present. | 我已经把礼物给你了 |
| [1:20:51] | – You did? SANTA: Yes. | – 是吗? – 是的 |
| [1:20:53] | You got my package, right? | 你收到我的包裹了 对吧? |
| [1:20:54] | The joint? | 那支大麻? |
| [1:20:56] | – That was you? SANTA: Yeah. | – 你干的? – 是的 |
| [1:20:57] | It was my little way of bringing you boys back together. | 是我想让你们重归于好 使用的小伎俩 |
| [1:21:02] | Dude… | 哥们 |
| [1:21:03] | …I’d really like it if you came over tomorrow. | 如果你明天来的话我会非常开心 |
| [1:21:06] | Won’t be a party unless you’re there. | 你要是不来那还叫什么聚会呢 |
| [1:21:08] | It’s about fucking time, Roldy. | 有点赶啊 小罗 |
| [1:21:10] | I wouldn’t miss it, man. | 我肯定会来的 |
| [1:21:16] | By the way, for what it’s worth… | 顺便说一句 个人意见 |
| [1:21:19] | …you’d make a great dad. | 你会是一个好爸爸的 |
| [1:21:22] | SANTA: Well, I guess… | 我觉得 |
| [1:21:23] | …this is goodbye, Roldy. Be a good boy… | 这是在跟你告别哦 小罗 |
| [1:21:25] | …next year. | 明年当个好孩子 |
| [1:21:26] | All right. | 好的 |
| [1:21:27] | No more jerking off into a sock filled with baby powder. | 不准再在圣诞袜里倒婴儿爽身粉打飞机 |
| [1:21:31] | – I… SANTA: Ha, ha. Don’t worry. | – 我 哈哈哈 别担心 |
| [1:21:34] | I’m just teasing you. | 跟你开玩笑呢 |
| [1:21:35] | I do it too. | 我也会那么干的 |
| [1:21:40] | On, Prancer! On, Comet! | 普兰瑟!考美特!布里特! 出发 驾! |
| [1:21:43] | On, Blitzen! Hyah! | 普兰瑟!考美特!布里特! 出发 驾! |
| [1:21:48] | Merry Christmas, Roldy! | 圣诞快乐 小罗! |
| [1:22:01] | MR. PEREZ: Where’s the tree? | 树哪去了? |
| [1:22:08] | It’s, um… | 这个… |
| [1:22:10] | Okay, what happened is that, um… | 发生什么事了… |
| [1:22:13] | You said you were going to… | 你说过你会好好守护它的 |
| [1:22:14] | …take care of it. Now where’s the tree? | 现在我问你 树呢? |
| [1:22:17] | What happened to the tree is, uh… | 树的事 |
| [1:22:21] | …I kind of burned it down. | 它被烧没了 |
| [1:22:24] | That tree was a Perez… | 这个树可是 |
| [1:22:26] | …family tradition. | 我们家的传统 |
| [1:22:28] | You ruined Christmas! | 你居然把树给毁了 |
| [1:22:30] | Ha, ha. I ruined your…? | 我毁了… ? |
| [1:22:32] | You ruined my Christmas, man! | 你还毁了我的圣诞节呢 |
| [1:22:34] | Heh, heh. Do you know what happened? | 你想知道怎么回事吗? |
| [1:22:37] | Uh, I inadvertently introduced a baby to cocaine. | 我一不小心让一个小孩染上大麻 |
| [1:22:41] | I was almost burned alive by Ukrainian gangsters. | 我差点被两个傻缺的俄国佬给干掉 |
| [1:22:44] | I was drugged by… | 我还被 |
| [1:22:46] | …asshole teenagers. | 一个傻缺的毛头小子下药 |
| [1:22:47] | Then I danced in a Christmas extravaganza. | 我还在一个歌舞剧的彩排表演里跳舞 |
| [1:22:49] | And I’m a terrible dancer. | 我还跳的不好 |
| [1:22:52] | I almost had my dick ripped off. | 我差点把我小鸡鸡给扯下来 |
| [1:22:53] | And then I shot… | 然后 我还用枪打中了圣诞老人 |
| [1:22:55] | …Santa Claus in the fucking face. He’s real, and I shot him in the face. | 他是真实存在的 我打中了他的脸 |
| [1:22:59] | Why? | 为什么? |
| [1:23:01] | Because I wanted you… | 因为我想 |
| [1:23:02] | …to have a perfect fucking Christmas. | 让你过一个完美的圣诞节 |
| [1:23:05] | Now, here’s a newsflash: | 现在向你报告一下: |
| [1:23:07] | This is my house. | 这是我房子 |
| [1:23:09] | Maria is my wife. | 玛丽亚是我的老婆 |
| [1:23:11] | And if you want to be in our family… | 你要想成为我家的一员 |
| [1:23:14] | …you best show me some fucking respect. | 最好表现的尊重点 |
| [1:23:20] | Is that too much? | 是不是太过了? |
| [1:23:23] | I like it. | 我喜欢 |
| [1:23:24] | – Really? – Look. | – 真的? – 听着 |
| [1:23:26] | I always knew you were a nice guy. | 我一直都知道你是个好人 |
| [1:23:29] | But that’s not enough to be with my Maria. | 但对我的女儿来说还远远不够 |
| [1:23:31] | I didn’t want her to be… | 我不想让她 |
| [1:23:33] | …with some wimpy pussy. | 和一个孬种在一起生活 |
| [1:23:35] | But you | 但是你 |
| [1:23:36] | You showed me you got cojones. | 让我看到了你真有蛋蛋 |
| [1:23:38] | Testicles, right? | 你是说有种吧? |
| [1:23:41] | Rosetta Stone. | 那个软件不错 |
| [1:23:43] | – You know what? – What’s that? | – 你知道吗? – 什么? |
| [1:23:45] | This coming Easter… | 下次过复活节的时候 |
| [1:23:48] | …you guys come to my house. | 你们来我家 |
| [1:23:50] | That would really be great. Thank you, Carlos. | 那太好了 谢谢 卡洛斯 |
| [1:23:53] | Mr. Perez. | 叫我皮瑞兹先生 |
| [1:23:54] | Mr. Perez. | 皮瑞兹先生 |
| [1:24:08] | KUMAR: Fuck! | 我靠! |
| [1:24:11] | Kumar! | 库玛! |
| [1:24:11] | Jesus! | 天! |
| [1:24:13] | I’m sorry. I was gonna use the doorbell but I didn’t want to wake your parents. | 真对不起 我想按门铃来着 但是我不想吵醒你的父母 |
| [1:24:17] | What…? What are you doing? You can’t just… | – 什么? 你要干吗? – 你不能 |
| [1:24:20] | Hold on. There’s something… | 等等 我有些话 |
| [1:24:21] | …I need to say to you, okay? | 想告诉你 |
| [1:24:23] | When you told me you were pregnant, I admit I was scared as shit. | 当你告诉我你怀孕了 我承认我怕 的要命 |
| [1:24:27] | The more I think about it, the more excited I am. | 可当我越仔细的回想 我就越觉得兴奋 |
| [1:24:29] | I mean, I love kids. | 我的意思是 我喜欢小孩 |
| [1:24:31] | That’s because you are a kid. | 因为你就是个小孩 |
| [1:24:33] | I know. But… Look, if you give me another chance… | 我知道 但是 如果你能再给我一次机会 |
| [1:24:37] | …I promise you I will go back to the medical board, I’ll get my job back. | 我答应你 我会回去继续学医学 我重新回去工作了 |
| [1:24:42] | I’ll even quit weed if I have to. | 如果有必要的话我会戒大麻的 |
| [1:24:43] | You’d quit weed? | 你要戒大麻? |
| [1:24:45] | Of course. I would do anything for you. | 当然 我愿意为你做任何事 |
| [1:24:48] | When I saw what Harold did for his family tonight… | 当我看到哈罗德为他的家人所付出的时候… |
| [1:24:51] | …it made me realize how important you are to me. | 我才意识到你对我有多么重要 |
| [1:24:53] | I wish I would’ve realized that sooner. | 我真希望能早点意思到 |
| [1:24:56] | You don’t have to do this. | 你没必要这么做 |
| [1:24:58] | I know I don’t have to. | 我知道没这个必要 |
| [1:25:01] | I want to. | 是我心甘情愿的 |
| [1:25:08] | Do me a favor. | 帮个忙行吗 |
| [1:25:09] | Yeah, anything. | 成 任何事都行 |
| [1:25:13] | Don’t quit weed. | 别戒大麻 |
| [1:25:14] | What? | 啥? |
| [1:25:16] | Just remember, next time you take a drug test… | 下次做药品测试的时候 |
| [1:25:19] | …use my pee. | 就用我的尿样 |
| [1:25:21] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [1:25:23] | I love you too. | 我也爱你 |
| [1:25:29] | Let’s have some sex before you get all fat on me. | 你变胖之前还是再做一次吧 |
| [1:25:46] | MARIA: Oh, my God. Oh, my God! | 我的天啊 我的天啊! |
| [1:25:48] | Harold! Wake up! Baby. | 亲爱的 哈罗德 醒醒 |
| [1:25:51] | – It’s pink. – Oh, my God. | – 我怀孕了! – 我的上帝! |
| [1:25:54] | – It’s pink. – It’s a miracle. | – 我怀孕了! – 真是奇迹! |
| [1:25:57] | It’s a miracle. | 真是奇迹! |
| [1:25:59] | It’s a miracle! | 真是奇迹! |
| [1:26:00] | MR. PEREZ: It’s a miracle! | 真是奇迹! |
| [1:26:02] | Isn’t this the most beautiful tree you’ve ever seen? | 这是你见过的最漂亮的圣诞树吧? |
| [1:26:05] | I came downstairs this morning… | 今天早上我下楼的时候 |
| [1:26:07] | …and here she was. | 就看见她摆在那里 |
| [1:26:13] | God bless us, everyone! | 上帝保佑我们大家! |
| [1:27:45] | Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas! | 吼吼吼 圣诞快乐! |