时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:05] | Drink. | 水 |
[00:10] | Drink. | 水 |
[00:11] | Um, you know, this would be a lot easier | 如果你们各自吃自己的午餐 |
[00:13] | if you each got your own lunch, but, you know… | 会容易许多 不过算了 |
[00:15] | We’re training. | 我们在训练 |
[00:16] | Time. | 时间 |
[00:17] | Half basket of fries, no spills–that’s a record. | 半篮薯条 没洒 新纪录 |
[00:20] | Oh, we are gonna crush it | 周五的第五届年度 |
[00:22] | at the fifth annual serpico olympics on Friday | 赛皮科奥运会上 我们一定能赢 |
[00:26] | and putting our names back on that belt where it belongs. | 让我们的名字重新出现在本应出现的腰带上 |
[00:29] | The serpico what, now? | 赛皮科什么 |
[00:30] | Oh, it’s an annual competition of bar games. | 一年一度的酒吧游戏比赛 |
[00:32] | Uh, Tedward and I against Tom and… | 泰沃德和我对战汤姆和 |
[00:34] | – Jake. – Yeah. | -杰克 -没错 |
[00:36] | We’ve only lost once– last year. | 我们只输过一次 去年 |
[00:38] | The loser has to spend a night in jail. | 输队得在监狱过一晚 |
[00:40] | It was our darkest hour. | 那是我们最黑暗的时刻 |
[00:41] | That toilet’s darkest hour. | 马桶才是我们最黑暗的时刻 |
[00:43] | Gary, you should totally come–I mean, or not. | 加里 你一定要来 或是算了 |
[00:45] | – You know, whatever. – Aw, that’s sweet. | -随便吧 -你真好 |
[00:47] | You want me to come be your cheerleader. | 你想让我来做啦啦队 |
[00:48] | – Whatever. I don’t care. – Come on. | -随便 我不在乎 -拜托 |
[00:50] | – You want it. Admit it. – Yeah, I want you to. | -你想的 承认吧 -是 我想的 |
[00:52] | Gary. | 加里 |
[00:53] | Oh, y’all have, like, this little, like, | 你俩就好像是 |
[00:55] | Justin-and-Selena thing going on. | 小情侣贾斯汀和塞琳娜 |
[00:56] | – It’s kind of cute. – Oh, look who it is. | -挺可爱的 -瞧谁来了 |
[00:58] | It’s Tom. | 是汤姆 |
[01:00] | Hey. How’s Jake? | 杰克还好吗 |
[01:01] | – Jake is dead. – What? | -杰克死了 -什么 |
[01:03] | He might as well be dead. | 他还不如死了 |
[01:05] | He broke his arm, so… | 他胳膊断了 所以 |
[01:06] | Yes, he cannot do the olympics. | 他不能参加奥运会 |
[01:09] | We just have to push, like, two weeks. | 我们得推迟两周 |
[01:11] | One week. | 一周 |
[01:12] | No, no, no. There’s no pushing, Tom. | 不 不能推迟 汤姆 |
[01:14] | The games play on. You play through. | 比赛得进行 你得比赛 |
[01:17] | Remember last year, when Tedward was working with one eye? | 记得去年 泰沃德独眼参加比赛吗 |
[01:19] | One eye, and you made him play through. | 独眼 你都让他比完了 |
[01:21] | Fine. I can do it. It’s not gonna be a problem. | 好 我可以参加 没问题 |
[01:23] | Oh, you’re gonna go down, Tom. | 你输定了 汤姆 |
[01:26] | There’s no way you’re gonna find another partner by… | 你不可能在周五前找到 |
[01:27] | Friday. | 搭档 |
[01:29] | By end of day today, I will have a partner. | 今天结束前 我就会找到 |
[01:32] | E.O.D.? Okay. | 今天结束前吗 |
[01:33] | I just don’t see what the big deal is. | 我不明白这有什么大不了的 |
[01:34] | I mean, it’s just bar games. | 这只是酒吧游戏 |
[01:37] | Is it a game when we play babysitter? | 我们玩”临时保姆游戏”也是游戏吗 |
[01:39] | This is a competition, Gary, all right? | 这是比赛 加里 明白吗 |
[01:42] | Painstakingly crafted | 每一年这酒吧里 |
[01:43] | to take place in this bar every year. | 都会煞费苦心地安排 |
[01:46] | Best of luck, tom, | 祝你好运 汤姆 |
[01:48] | ‘Cause you’re gonna need it. | 因为你需要 |
[01:52] | Ooh, how did I know? | 我是怎么知道的 |
[01:54] | I don’t know. One mind? | 我不知道 心有灵犀吗 |
[01:56] | Heh. Fry. | 上薯条 |
[01:57] | Ow! Got my eye! | 弄到眼睛了 |
[02:13] | Judge, you really have to stop just dumping all your mail | 法官 你真的不能再把邮件全扔在 |
[02:15] | over here in this corner. | 这个角落里 |
[02:16] | It’s where I keep my winter mail. | 我的冬季邮件全在那里 |
[02:18] | Look at all these perfectly good bed, bath & beyond coupons | 瞧这么合算的家居用品店优惠券 |
[02:20] | you just let expire. | 你就放着过期了 |
[02:22] | I just like the catalogs. | 我就喜欢购物目录 |
[02:25] | See, maybe I do need christmas pants. | 也许我的确需要圣诞长裤 |
[02:27] | Ooh, you are not going to like this–jury summons. | 你不会喜欢这个的 陪审员传票 |
[02:34] | What are– | 做什么 |
[02:35] | Okay, you cannot do that. | 你不能这么做 |
[02:37] | – It’s for tomorrow. – What? | -明天的 -什么 |
[02:41] | Let me see that. | 让我看看 |
[02:44] | Oh, all right. | 好的 |
[02:45] | Well, no big deal. | 没什么 |
[02:46] | What are you talk– no big deal? | 什么叫没什么 |
[02:48] | What if you have to miss the serpico olympics? | 如果你会错过赛皮科奥运会呢 |
[02:49] | Tedward, nobody’s gonna put a judge on their jury, okay? | 泰沃德 没人会让法官做陪审员 |
[02:54] | Ooh, ooh, look, look, it’s dog steps for the bed. | 看 狗上床用的台阶 |
[02:58] | Maybe I should get a dog. | 也许我应该养只狗 |
[02:59] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[03:01] | Now that you know what to expect, | 现在你们知道会发生什么事 |
[03:03] | I hope that you will find jury service | 我希望你们觉得陪审员义务 |
[03:06] | to be a pleasant experience. | 是愉快的经历 |
[03:08] | So I invite you to sit back, relax… | 我请大家坐好 放轻松 |
[03:12] | That’s me up there. | 那上面是我 |
[03:14] | I know, right? | 我知道 |
[03:16] | I mean, I definitely had a better hair situation in my life. | 那时候我的头发肯定更好看 |
[03:19] | That chunky highlights was just– | 那厚厚的挑染实在是… |
[03:21] | Whenever I tried it… | 无论什么时候我尝试… |
[03:22] | My name is Judge Rebecca Wright… | 我是丽贝卡·莱特法官 |
[03:27] | Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
[03:29] | Number one, stop eating. | 第一 别吃了 |
[03:31] | Number two, no cell phones. It’s written everywhere. | 第二 不准打手机 到处都写了 |
[03:36] | Oh, yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
[03:36] | This is my work husband. | 这是我的工作老公 |
[03:37] | I just got to take it. It’s no big deal. | 我必须接 没什么的 |
[03:39] | Uh, rules are rules. | 规则就是规则 |
[03:41] | They’re meant to be obeyed, | 规则定了就是要遵守的 |
[03:42] | not bent, not broken. | 不是打擦边球 不是违反的 |
[03:44] | You may be a judge, but that doesn’t make you better | 虽说你是法官 但这并不代表 |
[03:45] | than any of us, okay? | 你比我们任何人强 |
[03:47] | Take it easy, senator, all right? | 放轻松 参议员 |
[03:49] | I think you’re taking this all a little too seriously. | 我想你把这个看得太严肃了 |
[03:51] | And please take this seriously. | 请严肃对待 |
[03:53] | Cell phone usage is strictly prohibited. | 严禁使用手机 |
[04:00] | You said it, not me. | 是你说的 不是我说的 |
[04:02] | That call can wait. | 电话可以等 |
[04:06] | Okay. | 好的 |
[04:09] | Is that your whole arm? | 你胳膊就这么长吗 |
[04:12] | Well, I guess Tom hasn’t found a decent partner yet. | 看来汤姆还没有找到像样的搭档 |
[04:14] | Nope. Been testing people all day. | 没 已经测试一整天了 |
[04:17] | All right, this sucks. | 真讨厌 |
[04:19] | I mean, craigslist sucks. | 克雷格分类广告网真讨厌 |
[04:20] | Wait a minute. | 慢着 |
[04:22] | – Gary. – What? | -加里 -怎样 |
[04:23] | You’re agile, low body fat, full set of teeth. | 你敏捷 低脂肪 一口好牙 |
[04:26] | You want in? | 想加入吗 |
[04:27] | Sorry. I don’t believe in competition. | 抱歉 我不爱比赛 |
[04:29] | You see, studies have shown that it sabotages self-esteem | 研究表明将文娱活动变为争斗 |
[04:31] | by turning recreational activities into a battlefield. | 会损害自尊 |
[04:34] | That’s why I play hacky sack. Everybody wins. | 所以我玩沙包 大家都是赢家 |
[04:37] | I’ll do it. | 我来 |
[04:38] | Sorry, no. | 抱歉 不行 |
[04:39] | I’m looking for a skilled gamesman. | 我找的是行家高手 |
[04:46] | What’s wrong with you? | 你什么毛病 |
[04:47] | Well, you just hit a man in the back with a dart, | 你刚用飞镖扔中了一个男人的后背 |
[04:50] | so that’s great. | 了不起 |
[04:51] | He was in the way. | 他挡道了 |
[04:54] | Judith, that man is bleeding. | 茱迪丝 那男的在流血 |
[04:56] | He’ll live. | 不会死的 |
[04:57] | Welcome to the team. | 欢迎加入 |
[05:00] | We’re gonna get that belt. | 我们会赢得腰带 |
[05:06] | Get this show on the road. | 快点开场吧 |
[05:07] | I got places to be. | 我还要去一个地方 |
[05:09] | Think you’re gonna waltz right out of here | 你觉得你能离开这里 |
[05:11] | ‘Cause you’re a judge? | 就因为你是法官吗 |
[05:11] | Yes, I do. | 是的 |
[05:13] | This is my pal Annie’s courtroom. | 这是我姐们安妮的法庭 |
[05:15] | She’s not gonna put me on her trial. | 她不会让我出现在她的庭审上 |
[05:17] | It’s called conflict of interest, my friend. | 这叫做利益冲突 我的朋友 |
[05:19] | We’re supes tight. | 我们关系可铁了 |
[05:20] | All rise. | 全体起立 |
[05:22] | The honorable Judge Marcus Pitt presiding. | 尊敬的马库斯·皮特法官审理 |
[05:24] | – Please take your seats. – You’re not Annie. | -请坐 -你不是安妮 |
[05:26] | Not since my fifth grade play. | 自五年级戏剧后就不是了 |
[05:28] | Uh, sir, I’m Judge Rebecca Wright. | 先生 我是丽贝卡·莱特法官 |
[05:31] | And she’d like to get this show on the road, your honor. | 她希望快点开场 法官阁下 |
[05:32] | She’s got places to be. | 她还要去一个地方 |
[05:34] | Ignore him. Where’s Annie? | 无视他 安妮呢 |
[05:36] | This is her courtroom. | 这是她的法庭 |
[05:37] | Judge Carter is on maternity leave. | 卡特法官休产假了 |
[05:39] | She was pregnant? | 她怀孕了吗 |
[05:40] | Sounds like you guys were supes tight. | 听起来你们关系超级铁啊 |
[05:42] | Sir, I’m a Judge. | 先生 我是法官 |
[05:44] | Clearly, it’s a conflict of interest. | 显然有利益冲突 |
[05:45] | So, if you don’t mind, I do have places to be. | 你不介意的话 我还要去一个地方 |
[05:47] | – Thank you. Excuse me. – No, I don’t mind… | -谢谢 借过 -我不介意 |
[05:49] | As long as all of those places | 只要你要去的地方 |
[05:50] | are right back there in that chair. | 是那些陪审员椅 |
[05:52] | Booyah. | 气死你 |
[05:57] | – Hi, Tedward. – Hey, Judge. | -泰沃德 -法官 |
[05:59] | I let myself in, but I got all of our training supplies– | 我自己进来了 但我备齐了训练道具 |
[06:01] | Onion rings, olives, straws. | 洋葱圈 橄榄 吸管 |
[06:04] | Oh. Apricot scrub? | 杏仁磨砂膏 |
[06:06] | Oh, yeah. That’s for me. | 我用的 |
[06:07] | Oh, you think god just does this all by himself? | 你觉得这张俊脸全是上帝的功劳吗 |
[06:08] | Hey, hey, did you know that Annie Carter had a baby? | 你知道安妮·卡特生孩子了吗 |
[06:12] | Yeah, we went halfsies on a breast pump. | 吸乳器是咱们对半凑分子买的 |
[06:14] | You still owe me 80 bucks, by the way. | 你还欠我80块呢 |
[06:15] | Hey, I got bad news, man. | 我有个坏消息 |
[06:17] | I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to get out of this jury duty. | 我不知道我能否从这次陪审义务中脱身 |
[06:20] | Listen, I’m just thinking, | 我在想 |
[06:22] | just in case, that maybe we should have a backup | 以防万一 我们也许得找个替补 |
[06:24] | and that maybe it should be Gary. | 也许应该找加里 |
[06:26] | Gary who? | 哪个加里 |
[06:28] | Gary. | 加里 |
[06:29] | Come on, he’s got great core strength. | 他的肌肉力量非常好 |
[06:31] | The guy can hold a plank for 20 minutes. | 他可以平板支撑20分钟 |
[06:33] | And sometimes with one arm… | 有时候只用一只胳膊 |
[06:35] | While the other arm is doing something else, | 另一只胳膊做别的事 |
[06:38] | – if you get what I’m saying. – Please stop talking. | -明白我意思吗 -请别说了 |
[06:40] | Look, another problem– | 另一个问题 |
[06:41] | Gary doesn’t believe in competition. | 加里不喜欢比赛 |
[06:43] | Which is why you have to teach him. | 所以你得训练他 |
[06:45] | You have to Mr. Miyagi him. | 你做宫城先生教他 |
[06:47] | – Mr. Miyagi. – From the Karate Kid. | -宫城先生 -《空手道少年》里的 |
[06:49] | I know the movie. I’m in America. I have eyes. | 我知道这电影 我在美国 我有眼睛 |
[06:51] | I’m still planning on getting dismissed, okay? | 我还在计划被退席 |
[06:53] | All right, I am gonna go to that courtroom tomorrow. | 我明天去法庭 |
[06:55] | I’m gonna do everything every annoying juror’s ever done to me | 那些讨厌的陪审员逼我让他们退席的做法 |
[06:57] | to get me to dismiss them– I’m gonna do to that judge. | 明天我会对那个法官照做 |
[07:00] | I am gonna show him no mercy. | 我会让他瞧瞧厉害 |
[07:02] | As part of the jury-selection process, | 陪审员选拔过程中 |
[07:04] | I’m going to describe the nature of the case | 我会讲述案件性质 |
[07:07] | to make sure you can be impartial– | 确保你们可以公正的 |
[07:13] | Oh, I’m so sorry. | 真是对不起 |
[07:14] | I am super sick. | 我病得很厉害 |
[07:16] | It’s super contagious too. | 超级传染的 |
[07:18] | They don’t know what it is. They’re terrified. | 医生不知道是什么 他们很害怕 |
[07:24] | Truly, I’m sorry. | 真是对不起 |
[07:25] | I don’t know– | 我不知道 |
[07:26] | You know what it is? I’m hungry. | 知道什么情况吗 我饿了 |
[07:28] | I got low blood sugar. | 我有低血糖 |
[07:29] | I got to have a snack, otherwise, I’d, like, faint. | 我得吃零食 否则我会晕的 |
[07:31] | I’d leave my body. | 我会倒下的 |
[07:32] | Anybody want some–some pickled eggs? | 有人想吃腌蛋吗 |
[07:35] | Huh? I mean, they are wonderful. | 可好吃了 |
[07:37] | I’ll just pass these around. | 我给大家传一下 |
[07:38] | Oh, I mean, if it’s pickled, it’s for me, | 腌了的我就爱吃 |
[07:41] | is what I always say. | 我总是这么说 |
[07:42] | I got to get these out of here. | 传过去 |
[07:43] | It’s like, ah. | 味道不错 |
[07:44] | Oh, yeah. | 不错 |
[07:45] | It’s good. Pass ’em along. | 好吃 传一下 |
[07:47] | I also have some sardines. | 我还有沙丁鱼 |
[07:49] | I mean, it says that they’re expired, | 这上面说过期了 |
[07:50] | but I think that’s a sell-by date. | 但我想这是最迟销售日期 |
[07:52] | Enough. | 够了 |
[07:54] | Say one more word, and I’ll hold you in contempt. | 再说一句 就以藐视法庭把你关起来 |
[07:59] | I would like to thank most of you jurors | 我要感谢大多数陪审员 |
[08:01] | for your time and serious treatment of this matter. | 愿意花时间以及严肃地对待这件事 |
[08:04] | And despite some of your obvious attempts to be dismissed, | 尽管有人很明显想被退席 |
[08:08] | the following jurors have been selected. | 以下是被选中的陪审员 |
[08:10] | Number 4, 6, 23, 14, 8… | 4号 6号 23号 14号 8号 |
[08:14] | 8! That’s Chet. Yes. | 8号 是我查特 太棒了 |
[08:15] | 7, 12, 21, | 7号 12号 21号 |
[08:17] | 5, 1, 16, and… | 5号 1号 16号 还有 |
[08:22] | 19. | 19号 |
[08:22] | Fu…N. | 他妈…好啊 |
[08:26] | Trials–trials are fun. | 庭审很好 |
[08:31] | Hey, Judge. That is a hat. | 法官 这是顶帽子 |
[08:33] | – That’s a big-ass hat, man. – It’s new. What do you think? | -好大一顶帽子 -新的 你觉得怎样 |
[08:35] | I think I wish Judge Wright was here to see– | 我希望莱特法官在这里看到 |
[08:38] | – I should send her a picture. – No, absolutely not. | -我应该发张照片给她 -绝对不行 |
[08:40] | I don’t want her to miss this. This is good. | 我不想让她错过 太好看了 |
[08:41] | – No. No. – One… | -不 -一 |
[08:42] | I don’t want you to take a picture. | 我不想你拍照片 |
[08:43] | Two, three. | 二 三 |
[08:45] | That–you got– | 您老 |
[08:46] | I see you got, like, a little Tyra Banks thing here. | 您老还学泰拉·班克斯的表情啊[超模大赛之母] |
[08:48] | Look at you in this hat. | 瞧您戴这顶帽子 |
[08:49] | I’m gonna tag you. This is cute. | 我要加标签 太可爱了 |
[08:51] | – Tedward. – Gary. | -泰沃德 -加里 |
[08:52] | – What– – Sorry. | -啥意思 -对不起 |
[08:54] | Little tip–whenever you’re giving a high five, | 小窍门 你击掌时 |
[08:56] | look at the elbow. | 看着手肘 |
[08:57] | – Really? – Yeah. | -是吗 -当然 |
[08:58] | – Try it. Ready? – Okay, yeah. | -试下 准备好了吗 -好的 |
[09:01] | Oh, dude. Sorry. | 伙计 对不起 |
[09:03] | This–this ain’t good. | 这可不好 |
[09:04] | Did you say your elbow? | 你是指你的手肘吗 |
[09:08] | Dude, the worst-case scenario has become reality. | 最坏的事发生了 |
[09:11] | Did they cancel Pretty Little Liars? | 《美少女的谎言》被砍了吗 |
[09:13] | – Because I cannot– – No. | -我可没办法… -不 |
[09:14] | I got picked for jury duty. | 我被选为陪审员了 |
[09:16] | I mean, I’m still in good shape, though, you know? | 我状态依然不错 |
[09:18] | I think I’m gonna get elected foreman, | 我想我会当上陪审团主席 |
[09:19] | and I’m just gonna hustle everyone to the right verdict. | 我会让每个人作出正确裁定 |
[09:21] | Well, I started training Gary just in case. | 以防万一 我开始训练加里了 |
[09:23] | How’s he doing? | 他表现如何 |
[09:25] | You know, let me ask you a question. | 我问你一个问题 |
[09:26] | When you two are “planking”… | 你俩”平板支撑”时 |
[09:28] | Do you ever high-five? | 击掌过吗 |
[09:32] | Sorry about that, guys. | 不好意思 各位 |
[09:33] | Just had some work-related stuff, you know. | 办了点公事 |
[09:35] | You probably know by now that I am a Judge. | 你们可能知道了我是法官 |
[09:38] | Anyway, listen, tomorrow I will be the jury foreman, | 听着 明天我会做陪审团主席 |
[09:41] | so I can quickly walk you | 这样我可以很快带你们 |
[09:43] | through all the legal mumbo jumbo. | 过那些法律的东东 |
[09:45] | Got it all figured out, do you, red? | 全想好了吗 红发妞 |
[09:46] | Yeah, I do, actually. | 是的 |
[09:47] | We’re gonna move things along pretty quickly, | 我们可以很快解决问题 |
[09:49] | because as I said before, I’ve got places to be. | 因为我之前就说了 我有地方要去 |
[09:52] | – Okay? – No-kay. | -好吗 -不好 |
[09:54] | When you were out in that hallway | 你在走道时 |
[09:55] | doing whatever it is you’re doing, | 不管你做了什么 |
[09:57] | these good people | 这些好人 |
[09:59] | elected me jury foreman. | 选我做了陪审员主席 |
[10:01] | You guys! | 你们不是吧 |
[10:02] | And we’re gonna take this case seriously, | 我们会严肃对待这件案子 |
[10:04] | and justice will be served. | 正义会得到伸张 |
[10:07] | Booyah. | 气死你 |
[10:09] | This feels good, I got to tell you. | 我得说 感觉好极了 |
[10:12] | No, no. Not you. | 不 不是你 |
[10:14] | Me. | 我自己 |
[10:20] | Hey, Tedward. | 泰沃德 |
[10:21] | How’s it going today, Judge? | 今天怎么样 法官 |
[10:21] | Oh, we all good for tomorrow night? | 明晚没问题吧 |
[10:24] | I’m not gonna lie to you. | 我不会骗你 |
[10:25] | Kind of hit a bump in the road, Ttedward, | 有些不顺利 泰沃德 |
[10:27] | a bump in the road. | 有些不顺利 |
[10:28] | Hey, I heard you got jury duty. | 我听说你有陪审员义务 |
[10:30] | I smell a forfeit in the works. | 我在工作中闻到了失去资格的味道 |
[10:32] | The only thing I smell is your axe body spray. | 我唯一闻到的是你的身体喷雾 |
[10:35] | Tom, seriously, one pump once a day. | 汤姆 说真的 一天喷一下就够了 |
[10:37] | That’s it. | 就这么多了 |
[10:38] | Even if you do make it back here, Rebecca, | 就算你能赶来 丽贝卡 |
[10:40] | you’re not taking home the belt this year. | 今年也别想把腰带拿回家 |
[10:42] | Check this. | 看这个 |
[10:47] | Kaboom. | 帅吧 |
[10:48] | She’s like a bar olympics savant. | 她就是酒吧奥运会专家 |
[10:51] | It is on. | 战火烧起来了 |
[10:52] | It’s so on, it’s almost off. | 烧的太大 几乎把你们灭了 |
[10:59] | You’re missing half of your skirt. | 你的裙子缺了一半 |
[11:01] | Yeah, well, you missed 10 million years of evolution. | 你缺了1千万年的进化 |
[11:04] | That’s pretty funny, | 挺搞笑的 |
[11:05] | but you’re dressed like a hooker. | 但你穿得像妓女 |
[11:06] | Those pants give you front butt. | 这裤子让你看起来屁股在前面 |
[11:11] | Bobby, growing up, did you ever have any girlfriends? | 波比 在成长过程中 你有过女友吗 |
[11:14] | What? | 什么 |
[11:16] | No. | 没有 |
[11:17] | I-I couldn’t talk to girls. | 我没办法跟女生说话 |
[11:19] | I couldn’t even look at them, | 我甚至不敢看她们 |
[11:21] | ‘Cause I was a loser with a capital “l.” | 因为我是个大大的失败者 |
[11:23] | And has your life changed | 自那晚你雇了一位 |
[11:24] | since the night you hired a female friend? | 女性朋友后 生活改变了吗 |
[11:27] | Oh, totally. | 绝对的 |
[11:28] | I mean, I am– I am confident now. | 我现在自信了 |
[11:31] | And, uh… | 而且 |
[11:32] | I have a girlfriend. | 我有女友 |
[11:34] | Is it true that female friend | 那位女性朋友 |
[11:36] | even came here today to support you? | 今天是不是来支持你了 |
[11:38] | Yep. Yeah, yeah. | 是的 |
[11:39] | That’s her right over there. | 那边就是她 |
[11:45] | How about that? | 撞衫了呀 |
[11:47] | You guys have the same pimp or what? | 你们的皮条客是一个人吗 |
[11:50] | God, I wish I could choke you. | 老天 我真希望能掐你 |
[11:51] | Ooh. How much would that cost me? | 那得花我多少钱 |
[12:03] | Hey, Tedward. | 泰沃德 |
[12:04] | – You dropped these, bud. – Oh, so I did. | -你掉了这个 -是的 |
[12:06] | Stop. Toss ’em to me. | 站住 扔给我 |
[12:09] | Uh, okay. | 好的 |
[12:12] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
[12:13] | You need to focus. | 你要集中精神 |
[12:17] | Whoa. Take it easy. | 慢点 |
[12:18] | I can just hand them to you. | 我可以递给你 |
[12:19] | No, you cannot just hand them to me. | 不 你不能递给我 |
[12:22] | Gentle underhand lob– | 慢慢地低手高投 |
[12:24] | Go. | 来吧 |
[12:25] | Okay. | 好的 |
[12:29] | That’s what I’m talking about, okay? | 我说的就是这个 |
[12:31] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么 |
[12:34] | We’re gonna be all right. | 我们不会有事的 |
[12:35] | You know what I’m saying, Dr. Boyd? | 你明白吗 博伊德医生 |
[12:38] | All right, listen up. | 听好了 |
[12:40] | I’ve tallied our initial vote. | 我计算了投票结果 |
[12:41] | Okay, just say it already so we can get out of here. | 快说让我们走人 |
[12:44] | 11 to convict, | 11票有罪 |
[12:46] | 1 to acquit. | 1票无罪释放 |
[12:49] | 11 to convict? Are you serious? | 11票有罪 你们说真的吗 |
[12:51] | Serious as my mother’s coke addiction. | 和我母亲的毒瘾一样是真的 |
[12:53] | – What? – Oh, yeah. | -什么 -是的 |
[12:55] | You don’t know me. | 你又不了解我 |
[12:57] | – So you’re obviously the holdout. – Yeah, because he’s a kid. | -显然你是反对票 -他还是个孩子 |
[13:00] | He didn’t hurt anyone, he didn’t threaten anyone, | 他没有伤害任何人 没有威胁任何人 |
[13:02] | and he didn’t legally violate anyone’s rights. | 没有在法律上侵犯任何人的权利 |
[13:04] | Legally, he broke the law, period. | 法律上来说他违法了 就是这样 |
[13:07] | He’s guilty. We vote again. | 他有罪 我们再投一次 |
[13:10] | This time, I want you to write “guilty” | 这一次 我要你在纸上写下 |
[13:12] | On this piece of paper | “有罪” |
[13:13] | so we can head out of here, justice served. | 我们可以离开这里 正义得到伸张 |
[13:18] | You do want to get out of here, don’t you? | 你的确想离开这里 不是吗 |
[13:20] | Yes… | 是的 |
[13:21] | – Very badly. – Yeah. | -非常想走 -好 |
[13:23] | Well, then, “Judge”… | 那么 法官 |
[13:29] | You know what you got to do. | 你知道你要怎么做 |
[13:34] | That’s mine. | 这是我的 |
[13:42] | Still 11 to 1. | 还是11比1 |
[13:44] | Yep. | 是的 |
[13:45] | And we’re all staying here until each and every one of us | 我们会留在这里 直到你们每一个人 |
[13:49] | get this sexually repressed kid off. | 让这个性压抑孩子被释放 |
[13:52] | I-I heard that. | 我听到了 |
[13:53] | It’s not–that’s– you know what I mean. | 你们懂的 |
[13:55] | Are you serious? | 你认真的吗 |
[13:56] | Oh, I’m as serious as your mom’s coke addiction. | 我和你妈妈的毒瘾一样真 |
[14:00] | What? | 什么 |
[14:03] | – Oh, my gosh. – Don’t do– | -我的天 -别这样 |
[14:05] | Look, I don’t know if I’m high-fiving myself | 我不知道我是在跟自己击掌 |
[14:07] | or slapping a toddler’s ass. | 还是在打小孩子的屁屁 |
[14:11] | No. | 不 |
[14:12] | – No, no, no, no. – No. | -这样不行 -不 |
[14:14] | Tell me that this pizza is so that we– | 告诉我吃了这披萨 |
[14:17] | You and I– can carbo-load | 你和我补充够了碳水化合物 |
[14:18] | before serpico olympics tonight. | 可以对付今晚的赛皮科奥运会 |
[14:20] | We’re still deliberating. I’m just on a break. | 我们还在商议 我趁休息出来的 |
[14:21] | I’m so sorry. I’m not gonna make it, man. | 对不起 我来不了了 |
[14:24] | You are not saying this to me right now. | 你现在不能对我这样说 |
[14:25] | Believe me, there’s nothing I’d rather do | 相信我 我最想做的 |
[14:27] | than play shuffleboard with urinal cakes, okay? | 就是用小便蛋糕玩沙弧球 |
[14:29] | But I can’t let this kid go to prison. | 但我不能让这孩子进监狱 |
[14:31] | You’re just gonna have to use Gary. | 你得让加里上 |
[14:34] | Tedward… | 泰沃德 |
[14:36] | The lotus is ready. | 莲花车已经准备好了 |
[14:38] | That is not a karate kid reference. | 这不是《空手道少年》的台词 |
[14:42] | Go get that belt. | 去拿腰带 |
[14:48] | You are 134 seconds late, | 你迟到了134秒 |
[14:52] | and there’s no food allowed in here. | 而且这里不允许吃东西 |
[14:55] | Okay, there’s a no-food rule | 这里不准吃东西 |
[14:57] | because they don’t want people making a mess. | 是因为他们不想人们把这里弄脏 |
[14:59] | But if we clean up, no harm, no foul. | 但如果我们收拾干净 就没有大碍 |
[15:03] | Everybody gets fed. | 大家有东西吃 |
[15:04] | And I don’t see what the problem is. | 我没看出来有什么问题 |
[15:07] | The problem is, there are rules. | 问题是这里有规矩 |
[15:09] | Well, sometimes rules can be broken | 有时候规矩可以被违反 |
[15:11] | if nobody gets hurt, hmm? | 只要没人受伤就行 |
[15:19] | Looks like some people are interpreting the rules | 看来有人对规矩的理解 |
[15:21] | like I do, Chet. | 和我一样 查特 |
[15:27] | Oh, no, there he is. | 他来了 |
[15:29] | Hello, Tedward. | 你好 泰沃德 |
[15:30] | No Rebecca, I see. | 没有丽贝卡 |
[15:32] | – I guess that means you forfeit. – Yeah! | -看来你失去资格了 -太好了 |
[15:34] | – Nope, new partner–Gary. – What? | -不 新搭档加里 -什么 |
[15:36] | Rebecca’s shirt– wear it with pride. | 丽贝卡的T恤 带着骄傲穿上 |
[15:39] | Oh, no, no, no. Sorry. | 不 对不起 |
[15:40] | I-I told you, I’m not into competition. | 我跟你说过 我不喜欢比赛 |
[15:41] | Okay, come on, Dr. Kumbaya, grow a pair, all right? | 得了 扮清高医生 像个男人一样好吗 |
[15:44] | Rebecca wants you to fill in. Do it for her. | 丽贝卡让你补上 为了她上吧 |
[15:47] | He doesn’t want to do it, Teddy. | 他不想比赛 小泰 |
[15:48] | Yeah, dude, I don’t want to do it. | 对 伙计 我不想比赛 |
[15:50] | Gary can’t win that belt for Rebecca. | 加里不能为丽贝卡赢得腰带 |
[15:52] | She’s right. I can’t. | 她说得对 我不能 |
[15:53] | He can’t even win her heart. | 他甚至不能赢得她的心 |
[15:55] | – Wait. What’d you say? – You heard me. | -你说什么 -你听到了 |
[15:56] | You ain’t never gonna lock that down, son, | 你永远追不到她 小子 |
[15:58] | ‘Cause you’re a bitch. | 因为你是个贱男 |
[16:00] | You just called down the thunder. | 你这是自己招雷劈 |
[16:02] | Now I’m coming, and hell is coming with me. | 现在我来了 我带来了地狱 |
[16:04] | Hell is coming with me! | 我带来了地狱 |
[16:06] | Boom! That’s all I needed. | 我就需要这个 |
[16:08] | Got me a new partner. Hello. | 你让我有了新搭档 |
[16:12] | Let’s do this! Come on. | 咱们来吧 |
[16:15] | Oh! Hey, Gary. | 加里 |
[16:17] | Hey, man, look, you might want to bring your “a” game, | 你最好拿出全部本领 |
[16:19] | ‘Cause you don’t want to go to OZ dressed like Dorothy. | 你可不想打扮得跟桃乐茜一样去奥兹国吧 |
[16:21] | You know what I’m saying? | 明白吗 |
[16:22] | All right, let the fifth annual | 第五届年度 |
[16:23] | serpico olympics begin! | 赛皮科奥运会开始了 |
[16:28] | Well, it’s getting worse. | 更糟糕了 |
[16:30] | Five to convict, six to acquit, | 5票有罪 6票无罪 |
[16:33] | and one question mark. | 一个问号 |
[16:34] | What can I say? I’m still feeling confused. | 叫我怎么说 我还是有些困惑 |
[16:37] | Okay, this is ridiculous. That’s our third vote. | 真是荒唐 这是我们第三次投票了 |
[16:39] | – Listen up. – No, no. No. No. | -听好了 -不行 |
[16:40] | Remember, no one talks without the spirit stick. | 记住 拿着圣杖才能发言 |
[16:43] | Give me the spirit stick. | 把圣杖给我 |
[16:44] | Okay, listen, you really want to send a kid to jail | 你们真的要把一个孩子送进监狱吗 |
[16:49] | for losing his virginity? | 就因为他失去了处男身 |
[16:51] | Look, look. Look at this guy. | 看这个家伙 |
[16:54] | He still has pimples. | 脸上还有痘痘 |
[16:56] | He’s just a kid. | 他只是一个孩子 |
[16:57] | Remember when you were his age and you thought everybody else | 还记得你们这么大时 你们以为 |
[16:59] | in the world was having sex besides you, right? | 这世界上除了你 大家都做过爱吗 |
[17:01] | And that was before the internet. | 那还是网络时代之前的事 |
[17:03] | And now you can get porn in five keystrokes. | 现在敲五次键盘就能出A片 |
[17:05] | – I can do it in three. – Seriously? | -我敲三次就行 -真的吗 |
[17:08] | Anyway, listen, as a Judge… | 听着 作为法官 |
[17:11] | We get it. You’re a Judge. | 我们知道 你是法官 |
[17:14] | I have to follow the letter of the law. | 我要遵循法律条文 |
[17:16] | But we need to follow the spirit of the law. | 但我们要遵循法律的精神 |
[17:19] | Bobby just needed some self-confidence. | 波比只是需要自信 |
[17:21] | You want to send him to jail for that? | 你们要因为这个送他坐牢吗 |
[17:22] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[17:23] | I call for another vote. | 我提议再次投票 |
[17:25] | You’re not the foreman. You can’t do that. | 你不是主席 你不能这样做 |
[17:26] | Okay, well, here’s the thing, Chet– | 是这样的 查特 |
[17:28] | I just did, okay? | 我刚这样做了 行吗 |
[17:31] | Go! | 开始 |
[17:33] | Shot! | 喝酒 |
[17:38] | Hey. That’s well bourbon. | 这是纯波旁酒 |
[17:41] | All right, round one goes to the red team. | 第一回合红队赢 |
[17:51] | Empty. That’s it. We did it. | 空了 我们做到了 |
[17:53] | We got a winner–blue team! | 蓝队胜 |
[17:56] | 11 to acquit, 1 to convict. | 11票无罪 1票有罪 |
[17:58] | Looks like we’re stuck. | 看来我们僵持住了 |
[18:00] | Okay, Chet, what’s the holdup? | 查特 什么理由 |
[18:02] | He broke the law, Judge. | 他违法了 法官 |
[18:04] | Our society is built on laws. | 我们的社会建立在法律之上 |
[18:06] | If we start ignoring them, | 如果开始无视法律 |
[18:07] | the entire fabric of the system breaks down. | 那么整个制度的构造就开始崩塌了 |
[18:09] | Okay, you’ve never broken the law? | 你从来没有违法吗 |
[18:11] | No, not even a fix-it ticket. | 可改正性违规都没有 |
[18:14] | Huh. Really? | 是吗 |
[18:14] | ‘Cause that trash can you just missed? | 你刚才没扔进垃圾桶 |
[18:16] | That’s littering– $1,000 fine minimum. | 乱扔垃圾 最低1千块罚款 |
[18:18] | That pen cap you’ve been chewing on | 过去几小时 |
[18:20] | these last several hours– destruction of state property. | 你一直在咬的笔帽 毁坏国有财产 |
[18:22] | That carries a three-month jail term. | 坐牢三个月 |
[18:24] | Oh, and your mom’s coke problem? Did you turn her in? | 你妈有毒瘾 你举报了吗 |
[18:27] | ‘Cause if not, you’re complicit in felony narcotics possession. | 如果没有 你就是重罪藏毒同谋 |
[18:30] | That’s a biggie. | 罪名可重了 |
[18:31] | All right, just hold it right there. | 别说了 |
[18:32] | My mother is a saint. | 我母亲是圣人 |
[18:34] | She was going through a hard time. | 她当时经历一段痛苦时光 |
[18:35] | She should have never married Nacho! | 她就不应该嫁给纳乔 |
[18:37] | Look, according to you, you broke the law. | 照你说的 你违法了 |
[18:39] | You’re guilty, period. | 你有罪 就是这样 |
[18:40] | According to me, you’re a bit of a tool, | 照我说的 你这人有点混 |
[18:42] | but you’re not a criminal, Chet. | 但你不是罪犯 查特 |
[18:44] | All right, hooker skirt, you win. | 好吧 妓女裙 你赢了 |
[18:48] | Yeah! | 太棒了 |
[18:51] | No, no. | 不 |
[18:52] | No, no. This one’s for you. | 这是给你的 |
[18:56] | Chet. | 查特 |
[18:57] | Nobody does that. | 没人会这样做 |
[18:58] | Chet does. | 查特会 |
[19:02] | Okay, okay, okay. | 好了 好了 |
[19:03] | Red team has won high five to infinity, coaster boaster, | 红队赢了无限击掌 吹牛杯垫 |
[19:06] | and ice fiasco. | 冰块灾难 |
[19:08] | Blue team has won onion ring antlers, | 蓝队赢了洋葱圈鹿角 |
[19:10] | napkin fold-off, and bathroom. | 折餐巾 还有厕所 |
[19:14] | We are tied three to three. | 三比三平手 |
[19:16] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can’t just end in a tie, | 等等 不能以平手结束 |
[19:18] | or else this is meaningless, right? | 否则就没有意义了 对吗 |
[19:20] | Nope. Tiebreaker. | 不 决胜局 |
[19:21] | Yes. Yes. | 是的 |
[19:23] | And we shall call it “kick the lime around.” | 我们称之为”踢青柠” |
[19:26] | Love it. | 喜欢 |
[19:26] | Both teams will kick the lime | 两队回来踢青柠 |
[19:28] | back and forth until someone drops. | 直到有人没接着 |
[19:30] | – Love it. – Look, Gary, man… | -喜欢 -加里 |
[19:31] | I am no good with these feet I got, okay? | 我的脚不太好使 |
[19:34] | Oh. Rebecca! | 丽贝卡 |
[19:35] | – Gary. – Rebecca. | -加里 -丽贝卡 |
[19:36] | Time-out. Time-out. | 暂停 暂停 |
[19:38] | All right, that is their third and final time-out. | 这是他们第三次也是最后一次暂停 |
[19:40] | Okay, okay, what’s going on? | 怎么样了 |
[19:41] | – What’s happening? – We’re in a kiki tiebreaker. | -什么情况 -我们要用踢来决胜 |
[19:43] | We have to kick a lime back and forth. | 来回踢青柠 |
[19:44] | You know feet are not my thing, Judge. | 你知道我这脚不好使 法官 |
[19:46] | Oh, man, your feet are your achilles’ heel. | 你的脚是你的致命弱点 |
[19:48] | Tedward, this is just like hacky sack, okay? | 泰沃德 这就像沙包一样 |
[19:50] | Watch and learn. | 学点着 |
[19:51] | The student has become the master. | 学生已经变成老师了 |
[19:53] | You’ve got this, man. Tap the sack. | 你可以的 轻踢沙包 |
[19:55] | – Tap the sack. – Okay, wait, wait. | -轻踢沙包 -慢着 |
[19:56] | You might want to think about a different way of saying that. | 你还是换种说法吧[sack也指蛋蛋] |
[19:58] | – Yeah, that’s not– – “Tapping the sack”– | -不是的 -轻踢蛋蛋 |
[19:59] | Okay, okay, wait. Go get this, huh? | 好了 去争取胜利 |
[20:02] | Chicka-chicka-boom-boom! | 恰恰嘭嘭 |
[20:03] | Let’s get that belt! | 我们去拿腰带 |
[20:04] | Let’s do this! | 来吧 |
[20:08] | – Focus. – Just focus. | -集中精神 -集中 |
[20:09] | And go. | 开始 |
[20:40] | Red team wins! | 红队胜 |
[20:41] | Victor and champion! | 胜利 冠军 |
[20:45] | Give me the belt! Give me the belt! | 腰带给我 腰带给我 |
[20:47] | Give me the belt! Give me the belt! | 腰带给我 腰带给我 |
[20:49] | Oh, this is the best day of my life! | 这是我一辈子最棒的一天 |
[20:52] | Oh, sorry. Yeah, thank you. | 对不起 谢谢 |
[20:54] | Ow! Gary, you got to– Elbow, man. | 加里 你得看手肘 |
[20:58] | What’s happening? Oh. | 什么情况 |
[20:59] | You guys want to touch it? | 你们想摸吗 |
[21:01] | Okay, okay, you guys are awesome. | 好啦 你们了不起 |
[21:04] | I can’t believe we have to spend the whole night in jail. | 真不敢相信我们得在监狱里待一晚 |
[21:07] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
[21:09] | It’s the losers who get to do that? | 原来是输的队蹲监狱吗 |
[21:23] | Really? You just got here. | 不是吧 你才刚来 |