| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 | 
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | You know who’s gonna be the bravest person in the Marvel Universe? | 你知道漫画英雄世界里谁最有种吗 | 
| [00:07] | Whoever has to give She-Hulk a bikini wax. | 能给女浩克做比基尼蜜蜡除毛的最有种 | 
| [00:10] | You want to talk brave, | 要说有种嘛 | 
| [00:12] | how about Captain America’s undocumented Mexican gardener? | 美国队长那位从墨西哥偷渡过来的园丁怎么样 | 
| [00:16] | He’s not braver than whoever uses the bathroom after The Thing? | 他比不上那个每次办完事后都上厕所的哥们 | 
| [00:21] | As usual, you’re all wrong. | 果不其然 你们又错了 | 
| [00:23] | The bravest person in the Marvel Universe | 漫画英雄世界里最有种的人 | 
| [00:25] | is the doctor who gives Wolverine his prostate exam. | 是那位给金刚狼做前列腺检查的医生 | 
| [00:30] | How about the guy who gets a prostate exam from Wolverine? | 那被金刚狼做前列腺检查的哥们儿呢 | 
| [00:34] | Now you’re just being silly. | 你这是抬杠吧 | 
| [00:36] | Wolverine’s never displayed | 金刚狼可从来没表示过 | 
| [00:37] | the slightest interest in helping others | 对帮助他人预防前列腺癌的 | 
| [00:38] | prevent prostate cancer. | 有一点点兴趣 | 
| [00:44] | Hello. | 喂 | 
| [00:46] | Yes, the elevator’s out of order; | 对 电梯坏掉了 | 
| [00:48] | you’ll have to use the stairs. | 你得爬楼梯了 | 
| [00:50] | Of course you can. | 你当然可以 | 
| [00:51] | Pizza dates back to the 16th century, | 披萨的历史可以追溯到16世纪 | 
| [00:54] | while the first elevator was not installed until 1852. | 可世界上第一部电梯1852年才面世 | 
| [00:57] | That means that for over 300 years, | 也就是说在三百多年的时间里 | 
| [01:00] | people carried pizzas up stairs. | 人们都是爬楼梯送披萨的 | 
| [01:02] | Be part of that proud tradition. | 请继承这一光荣传统吧 | 
| [01:06] | I’ll go get Penny while that guy spits on our food. | 趁他往披萨上吐口水的功夫 我去叫佩妮过来 | 
| [01:11] | Do you think they gave Wolverine an adamantium prostate? | 你觉得金刚狼是不是有个金刚不坏前列腺呢 | 
| [01:15] | That’s a stupid question. | 这问题真傻逼 | 
| [01:16] | We’re having a conversation about probing the heinie of superheroes. | 我们不是在讨论如何检查超级英雄的菊花吗 | 
| [01:20] | There are no stupid questions. | 这有什么傻逼的 | 
| [01:30] | Yes? | 找谁啊 | 
| [01:30] | Oh, um, is Penny here? | 哦 佩妮在吗 | 
| [01:34] | You’re Leonard, right? | 你就是莱纳德 对吗 | 
| [01:35] | Yeah. | 对啊 | 
| [01:38] | Damn, it’s good to finally meet you, son. | 妈的 终于见到你了 小子 | 
| [01:40] | Okay, I think a bit of context here might help. | 有谁能给我补充点背景知识吗 | 
| [01:43] | Oh, hey, Leonard. I see you met my dad. | 嗨 莱纳德 你见过我爸爸了 | 
| [01:45] | Oh, good. | 哇 好了 | 
| [01:47] | Context. | 背景清楚了 | 
| [01:48] | Come on in, buddy. | 进来吧 伙计 | 
| [01:49] | Take a load off. | 进来坐会儿 | 
| [01:50] | Oh, gee, Dad, Leonard can’t stay. | 老爸 莱纳德没时间 | 
| [01:51] | He just dropped by to say hello. | 他只是顺道来打招呼的 | 
| [01:53] | Thanks for stopping by, sweetie. | 谢谢你过来 亲爱的 | 
| [01:54] | I’ll see you later. | 咱俩回聊 | 
| [01:58] | Bye. | 拜 | 
| [02:04] | That was odd. | 真诡异 | 
| [02:33] | Are you sure you have enough comics? | 你确定这点儿漫画书就够了吗 | 
| [02:35] | You’re going to be monitoring the telescope for 12 hours, | 到时候你可得守12个小时的望远镜 | 
| [02:37] | and by my estimate, you’ve only selected | 而据我估算你挑的这些书 | 
| [02:39] | seven hours of reading material. | 只够看7个小时的 | 
| [02:42] | That’s even factoring in | 我还算上了 | 
| [02:43] | your difficulty in parsing American comic book idioms | 你纠结美国漫画书里这些俚语的时间 | 
| [02:45] | like “Bamf!” and “Snikt!” | 比如”嘭” “唰” | 
| [02:49] | Is that racist? | 他这算种族歧视吗 | 
| [02:50] | It feels racist. | 我觉得挺像的 | 
| [02:53] | Don’t be oversensitive. | 别太敏感了 | 
| [02:54] | He’s calling you illiterate, not your race. | 他是说你文盲 又不是说印度人都文盲 | 
| [02:58] | Oh, okay. Good. | 哦 那就好 | 
| [03:01] | I don’t need more comics. | 我不用再挑漫画书了 | 
| [03:02] | Howard’s gonna stop by, we’re gonna play | 霍华德到时候会过来 我们会一起玩 | 
| [03:03] | Intergalactic Battleship and Indian Monopoly. | 星际战舰和印度大富翁 | 
| [03:06] | I don’t care for novelty editions of Monopoly. | 我可不喜欢大富翁的新版本 | 
| [03:09] | I prefer the classics: regular and Klingon. | 我更喜欢经典的 普通版的和克林贡版的 | 
| [03:14] | Actually, Indian Monopoly’s | 其实印度大富翁 | 
| [03:15] | just like regular, except the money’s in rupees, | 和普通版差不多 只是钱变成了卢比 | 
| [03:17] | instead of hotels you build call centers, | 酒店变成了呼叫中心而已 | 
| [03:20] | and when you pick a Chance card, you might die of dysentery. | 如果你抽机会卡 有可能死于痢疾 | 
| [03:26] | Just FYI, | 顺便告诉你 | 
| [03:26] | that was racist. | 这才叫种族歧视 | 
| [03:31] | You’ll never guess what just happened. | 你们肯定猜不到刚才发生了什么 | 
| [03:32] | You went out in the hallway, | 你走在去门厅的路上 | 
| [03:34] | stumbled into an interdimensional portal | 一不小心跌进了异次元空间之门 | 
| [03:36] | which brought you 5,000 years into the future, | 来到了5000年后的未来 | 
| [03:38] | where you took advantage of the advanced technology | 然后你在那里利用当时的先进技术 | 
| [03:40] | to build a time machine, and now you’re back | 造了一架时间机器 现在你是回来 | 
| [03:42] | to bring us all with you to the year 7010 | 接我们去7010年 | 
| [03:44] | where we are transported to work at the Thinkatorium | 那时候我们就能被派到飞海豚利用通灵术 | 
| [03:47] | by telepathically controlled flying dolphins? | 控制的思维水族馆工作了 | 
| [03:53] | No. | 错 | 
| [03:56] | Penny kissed me. | 佩妮刚才吻了我 | 
| [03:58] | Well, who would ever guess that? | 这怎么猜得出来 | 
| [04:01] | What-what kind of a kiss? | 是 是哪种吻啊 | 
| [04:02] | A big kiss. On the mouth. | 长吻啊 嘴对嘴的 | 
| [04:04] | Is it possible that she was going for your cheek | 会不会是她本来想吻你的脸的 | 
| [04:07] | and you moved and she accidentally got lip? | 结果你的脸一偏她就亲到嘴唇了 | 
| [04:09] | That happens with me and my mom all the time. | 我跟我妈经常这样 | 
| [04:14] | She introduced me to her father, | 她跟她老爸介绍了我 | 
| [04:15] | kissed me and then shut the door in my face. | 吻完我以后就当我面把门关了 | 
| [04:19] | Maybe she was trying to send you a message. | 也许这是暗示 | 
| [04:20] | You think? | 真的吗 | 
| [04:21] | Yeah. “This man is not my father. | 是啊 暗示”这个男的不是我爸爸 | 
| [04:23] | I’m being held hostage. | 我被挟持了 | 
| [04:25] | So I’m going to do | 所以我要做一些 | 
| [04:26] | something insane in the hopes | 疯狂之举好暗示你 | 
| [04:27] | that you’ll call 911.” | 去报警” | 
| [04:29] | Penny kissing me is not insane. | 佩妮吻我可不是什么疯狂之举 | 
| [04:31] | She used to kiss me all the time. | 她以前经常吻我的 | 
| [04:33] | Einstein defined insanity as “Doing the same thing | 爱因斯坦对精神病的定义是 “翻来覆去地 | 
| [04:35] | over and over again and expecting different results.” | 重复一件事并期冀得到不同的结果” | 
| [04:39] | By that standard, | 根据这个标准 | 
| [04:40] | Penny is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. | 佩妮病得不轻 | 
| [04:44] | I’m just saying, | 我只是觉得 | 
| [04:45] | it felt like it may have meant something. | 那个吻有些意味深长 | 
| [04:47] | Ah, this takes me back. | 这话让我想起从前了 | 
| [04:49] | Leonard obsessing about Penny. | 那时候佩妮让莱纳德如此着迷 | 
| [04:51] | I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love your new stuff, | 别误会 我挺喜欢你现在的状态 | 
| [04:53] | but once in a while it’s nice to hear the hits. | 但偶尔听听你的痴情独白还是蛮有意思的 | 
| [04:58] | Do “Our babies will be smart and beautiful.” | 你再说一遍”我们的孩子会才貌双全” | 
| [05:03] | That one always makes me laugh. | 每次想起这句话我就笑得不行 | 
| [05:07] | Why do I bother talking to you people? | 我真是吃饱了撑着跟你们聊天 | 
| [05:09] | If it’ll make you feel better, we rarely listen. | 我想说其实我们根本没在听 可能你会感觉好点 | 
| [05:13] | Hey, can I talk to you out here for a sec? | 能出来说句话吗 | 
| [05:14] | Yeah, sure. | 当然 | 
| [05:17] | I’m starting to think we’re never going to see that pizza. | 我有预感那个披萨永远也不会送来了 | 
| [05:22] | So you’re probably wondering what that was all about. | 你可能在琢磨刚才是怎么回事 | 
| [05:24] | What, uh, the kissing and everything? | 什么 你指你吻我那件事吗 | 
| [05:25] | Nah, women do that to me all the time. | 没什么 经常有女人对我这样的啦 | 
| [05:30] | Yeah, okay. The thing is, I kind of | 好吧 实际上 我貌似 | 
| [05:31] | told my father we got back together again. | 跟我爸说我们又在一起了 | 
| [05:33] | What? Why? | 什么 为什么 | 
| [05:34] | Well, you’re the first guy | 你是至今以来 | 
| [05:36] | he’s ever really approved of, you know? | 第一个被他认可的人 知道吗 | 
| [05:37] | You’re a scientist who went to college | 你是个上过大学的科学家 | 
| [05:39] | and you don’t have a neck tattoo | 你脖子上没有纹身 | 
| [05:41] | or outstanding warrants or…or a baby. | 不是通缉犯 也没孩子 | 
| [05:46] | What kind of guys did you used to go out with? | 你以前都跟什么人在一起啊 | 
| [05:50] | Just guys. | 就是一般人呗 | 
| [05:51] | Anyway, when I told him we split up, he was heartbroken, | 总之 他知道我们分手了以后伤心的要命 | 
| [05:53] | and he kept bugging me,”How’s Leonard? | 他总是问我 莱纳德好吗 | 
| [05:55] | Why can’t you get back together with Leonard? | 你为什么就不能跟莱纳德和好呢 | 
| [05:57] | I bet Leonard never tipped a cow over on himself.” | 我敢说莱纳德从来不会惹祸上身 | 
| [06:01] | So to get him off my back, | 所以为了让他不再烦我 | 
| [06:02] | I told him we worked things out. | 我就跟他说咱俩和好了 | 
| [06:04] | Really? | 是吗 | 
| [06:09] | How-how’d we manage that? | 咱俩是怎么和好的 | 
| [06:12] | What? | 什么 | 
| [06:13] | I mean, did you apologize? | 你道歉了吗 | 
| [06:16] | Did you have to woo me? | 还是你跑来追我了 | 
| [06:19] | Get over yourself. | 少做白日梦了 | 
| [06:20] | I whistled, you came running. | 我一个口哨 你就冲过来了 | 
| [06:24] | Yeah, no, I don’t think so. | 是吗 我可不这么认为 | 
| [06:25] | Okay, why are you arguing about this? | 好吧 你干吗要跟我争这个 | 
| [06:27] | I’m just saying, | 我只是想说 | 
| [06:28] | if we fake got back together, | 如果我们假装和好 | 
| [06:29] | that’s totally not how it fake happened. | 那也肯定不是这么和好的 | 
| [06:31] | Okay, whatever. | 好吧 随便啦 | 
| [06:33] | Will you please just play along until my dad leaves? | 你能不能就跟我装到我爸离开为止 | 
| [06:34] | Hold on, you actually want me | 等一下 你真的想让我 | 
| [06:36] | to deceive your father with some sort of | 用我的演技和吻功 | 
| [06:38] | sham playacting and kissing? | 来瞒过你老爸吗 | 
| [06:40] | ‘Cause I’m good with that. | 我可是这方面的高手 | 
| [06:43] | Penny, you out here? | 佩妮 你在外面吗 | 
| [06:52] | Come on, honey, not in front of my dad. | 拜托 亲爱的 别当着我老爸这样啊 | 
| [06:54] | Relax, I’ve seen you do a lot worse | 别担心 我看过你跟烂得多的人 | 
| [06:55] | with a lot stupider. | 干过严重得多的事呢 | 
| [06:59] | See? He doesn’t mind. | 看吧 他不介意 | 
| [07:00] | So, Leonard, I’m taking your gal out | 莱纳德 我准备带你的女朋友 | 
| [07:02] | for a steak dinner; you want to join us? | 去吃牛排 你要一起来吗 | 
| [07:03] | Oh, Dad, that’s nice, but Leonard has to work. | 爸 你真好人 但是莱纳德还要工作呢 | 
| [07:05] | Right, Leonard? | 对吧 莱纳德 | 
| [07:06] | Uh, I do, I have to work. | 没错 我要工作 | 
| [07:08] | But I’m gonna blow that off to spend the evening | 但我决定丢下工作来陪我的宝贝儿 | 
| [07:09] | with my sweetie and her father, ’cause, you know, | 和她的父亲 因为 | 
| [07:12] | just the kind of boyfriend I am. | 我就是这种体贴的男朋友 | 
| [07:15] | Come here, you. | 过来吧宝贝儿 | 
| [07:25] | C-7 C-7. | |
| [07:27] | Miss. | 错了 | 
| [07:28] | How could that be a miss? | 怎么会错呢 | 
| [07:29] | C-6 was a hit, C-8 was a hit. | C-6中了 C-8也中了 | 
| [07:31] | Part of your starship has to be on C-7. | 你的飞船肯定有一部分是在C-7上的 | 
| [07:34] | Not if it has a hole in the middle. | 除非飞船上有个洞 | 
| [07:38] | What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle? | 什么飞船上会有洞呀 | 
| [07:41] | A Romulan Battle Bagel? | 罗慕伦战斗百吉饼 | 
| [07:47] | Knock-knock. | 敲敲 | 
| [07:48] | Oh, great, you made it. | 太好了 你来了 | 
| [07:49] | Come on in. | 快进来 | 
| [07:51] | I invited her. | 是我请她来的 | 
| [07:53] | So where’s the telescope? | 望远镜在哪 | 
| [07:55] | It’s in Hawaii, but Raj controls it from here. | 在夏威夷 但是拉杰可以在这里控制 | 
| [07:57] | He’s hoping to see Epsilon Eridani dim, which would be | 他想观测波江座ε星云 从而证明 | 
| [08:00] | evidence of a planet orbiting it. | 有行星围绕它的轨道运行 | 
| [08:03] | So we just sit and stare at the screen, | 所以我们就坐在这盯着屏幕 | 
| [08:04] | waiting for something to happen? | 然后干等吗 | 
| [08:07] | I did it with you when we rented the Note Book. | 咱俩租《恋恋笔记本》看的时候不就这样吗 | 
| [08:14] | Yes, Gena Rowlands is a treasure. | 没错 吉娜·罗兰兹是很漂亮 | 
| [08:18] | You’d better open up that bottle of wine | 你最好把那瓶酒开了 | 
| [08:19] | or I’m gonna end up with swimmer’s ear. | 不然我的耳朵里就全是他的口水了 | 
| [08:23] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 | 
| [08:24] | I can’t be drinking, I’m about to make | 我不能喝酒 我就要完成 | 
| [08:26] | an important scientific discovery here. | 一个重大的科学发现了 | 
| [08:28] | What? Galileo did his best work while drinking wine. | 什么 伽利略的伟绩都是喝着酒完成的 | 
| [08:31] | How do you know that? | 你怎么知道 | 
| [08:32] | Well, he was Italian. | 他是意大利人 | 
| [08:34] | It’s a reasonable assumption. | 意大利人不都这样吗 | 
| [08:36] | Dude, can you even open your mouth | 伙计 你是不是一张嘴 | 
| [08:37] | without spewing a cultural stereotype? | 就要一棒子打死一个民族呀 | 
| [08:39] | Oh, I-I’m sorry, Galileo drank Diet Sprite. | 好吧 对不起 伽利略喝健怡雪碧 | 
| [08:44] | Look, you’re my best friend, she’s my girlfriend; | 你是我的死党 她是我女朋友 | 
| [08:46] | you should bond. | 你们应该培养感情 | 
| [08:47] | You know, like you and my mom did. | 就像你跟我妈那样 | 
| [08:49] | Your mom creeps the hell out of me. | 你妈吓死我了 | 
| [08:53] | Yes, but she’s stopped calling you Slumdog Millionaire. | 是 但她不再叫你贫民窟的百万富翁了 | 
| [08:57] | I do appreciate that. | 这点我的确很感激她 | 
| [08:59] | Here we go. | 酒来了 | 
| [09:01] | I’d like to propose a toast. | 我想敬个酒 | 
| [09:03] | To science and friendship. | 敬科学和友谊 | 
| [09:07] | Hold on. Wait. | 等等 等一下 | 
| [09:09] | No, it’s okay, go ahead. | 不 没事了 喝吧 | 
| [09:11] | What? | 怎么了 | 
| [09:11] | Oh, I was working with | 我今天在实验室里 | 
| [09:12] | penicillin-resistant gonorrhea in the lab today | 研究抗青霉素的淋病 | 
| [09:15] | and I was just trying to remember if I washed my hands. | 所以我刚才在回忆我有没有洗手 | 
| [09:25] | Thanks for the steak, Wyatt. | 谢谢你请我吃牛排 怀特 | 
| [09:26] | My pleasure. | 不用客气 | 
| [09:27] | It’s nice to have dinner with a boyfriend of Penny’s | 能跟佩妮找的会用餐巾的男朋友 | 
| [09:29] | that knows how to use a napkin. | 一起吃饭是件好事 | 
| [09:32] | So not funny, Dad. | 不好笑 老爸 | 
| [09:34] | Let me tell you about this one genius she was going out with, | 我跟你介绍一下她之前的男朋友 | 
| [09:36] | this-this fella Donnie. | 那个叫多尼的家伙吧 | 
| [09:38] | Oh, will you please let it go? | 你别再提了行不行 | 
| [09:39] | Donnie was gonna make millions turning farm waste | 多尼准备把农场废物 | 
| [09:41] | into biofuel and selling it to the government. | 转变成生物燃料然后买给政府 | 
| [09:44] | A lot of people are doing that. | 很多人在干这行 | 
| [09:45] | Oh, see? | 听到没 | 
| [09:46] | Yeah, but all Donnie did was mix pig poop with a little water | 但是多尼只是把猪粪混了点水 | 
| [09:49] | and pump it into his mom’s Camry. | 然后就灌进他妈的凯美瑞里 | 
| [09:52] | Yeah, that’s great. | 真不错 | 
| [09:53] | It’s a funny story. Moving on. | 故事真好笑 说别的吧 | 
| [09:55] | And Donnie was a rocket scientist | 要是跟那个想把乒乓球啤酒游戏列入 | 
| [09:57] | compared to that boy | 奥林匹克项目的家伙比的话 | 
| [09:57] | who wanted to get beer pong into the Olympics. | 多尼也算是个火箭科学家了 | 
| [09:59] | What was his name, sweetheart? | 他叫什么名字啊 宝贝儿 | 
| [10:01] | Curtis, and I’m pretty sure he was joking. | 柯蒂斯 我肯定他在说笑 | 
| [10:03] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 | 
| [10:04] | That petition looked real to me. | 他还递了申请呢 我看他挺认真的 | 
| [10:07] | Yeah, okay, I think this ends | 好吧 同志们该刹车了 | 
| [10:08] | the ex-boyfriend portion of our evening. | 今晚别再提起我前男友了 | 
| [10:10] | Well, I’m just glad you finally found yourself a keeper. | 我只是很高兴你终于找到了一位护花使者 | 
| [10:13] | Thanks, Wyatt. | 谢谢 怀特 | 
| [10:16] | I’m a keeper. | 我是护花使者哟 | 
| [10:22] | Leonard, you want to come in for a nightcap? | 莱纳德 来吃个宵夜吧 | 
| [10:23] | Oh, gee, Dad, he’d love to, | 天 老爸 他也很想 | 
| [10:24] | but Leonard has to work in the morning. | 但莱纳德明天一早要工作 | 
| [10:26] | Maybe I could go in a little late. | 也许我能晚点去 | 
| [10:28] | No, no, no, you can’t. | 不不不 不行 | 
| [10:29] | Your career is far too important. | 你的工作相当重要 | 
| [10:32] | Behind every great man is a nagging woman | 每个成功的男人背后 都有个唠叨的女人 | 
| [10:33] | who won’t let him have any fun, am I right, Leonard? | 让他没法享乐子 是吧 莱纳德 | 
| [10:37] | Don’t I know it. | 可不是嘛 | 
| [10:41] | Well, good night, son. | 晚安 孩子 | 
| [10:42] | Good night, Wyatt. | 晚安 怀特 | 
| [10:43] | Oh, good night, honey. | 晚安 亲爱的 | 
| [10:44] | Good night. | 晚安 | 
| [10:47] | I love you. | 我爱你 | 
| [10:52] | Love you, too. | 我也爱你 | 
| [11:02] | Oh, friggety-frak. | 搞什么 又当众闪光[Frak出自《BSG》科幻版Fuck] | 
| [11:03] | Not this again. | 有完没完 | 
| [11:11] | Three, four, five– pass go, get 2,000 rupees– | 3 4 6 过 得到两千卢比[印度货币] | 
| [11:15] | 6 7 six, seven. | |
| [11:17] | Whoops. Can’t go any further. There’s a sacred cow in my way. | 哎呀 不能走了 一头圣牛挡住了我去路 | 
| [11:21] | Bernadette, please tell your boyfriend | 伯纳黛特 你能不能告诉你男友 | 
| [11:22] | to cool it with the cow jokes. | 别再纠结印度圣牛的笑话了 | 
| [11:23] | It won’t help. | 没用的 | 
| [11:24] | Once he finds a joke he likes, he sticks with it. | 他要是找到一个笑话 就会一直讲个不停 | 
| [11:27] | Yeah. | 没错 | 
| [11:28] | Like his haircut material. | 就比如他理发那次 | 
| [11:29] | Oh, right. Did you get your hair cut? | 是啊 你理过发了吗 | 
| [11:31] | “No. I got them all cut.” | “不 我全部理光了” | 
| [11:35] | Which is still so funny. | 现在还是真好笑呀 | 
| [11:38] | And when you go to a Chinese restaurant, | 你去到一家中餐馆 | 
| [11:39] | he always gets the same fortune in his fortune cookie. | 他每次都在幸运饼里拿到同一张纸条 | 
| [11:42] | Right. “Help, I’m a prisoner | 没错 “救命 我是个囚犯” | 
| [11:44] | in a Chinese fortune cookie factory.” | “被关在中国幸运饼工厂里” | 
| [11:47] | Okay, I think that’s enough about me. | 好吧 你们侃我侃够了吧 | 
| [11:50] | He’s right. Let’s make fun of his mother. | 没错 我们开始侃他老妈 | 
| [11:53] | “Howard, come rub my feet! | 霍华德 快来帮我搓脚 | 
| [11:55] | My corns are killing me!” | 我脚上的鸡眼痛死了 | 
| [11:59] | “Howard, help me out of the tub! | 霍华德 快把我从浴缸里拉起来 | 
| [12:01] | I’m stuck again!” | 我又卡在里面了 | 
| [12:07] | Coming. | 来了 | 
| [12:12] | Hey, lovebug. | 你好呀 小心肝 | 
| [12:15] | Shut up. | 闭嘴 | 
| [12:17] | You know what I’ve been doing for the last hour? | 你知道前一个小时我都在做什么吗 | 
| [12:18] | Mm, dreamily doodling “Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter” | 在本子上涂鸦心目中的 | 
| [12:21] | in a notebook? | “霍夫斯塔德太太”形象吗 | 
| [12:23] | Listening to my father go on and on | 听我爸不停念叨 | 
| [12:25] | about what a great guy you are. | 你是个多么棒的人 | 
| [12:26] | You got to admit, I am… I’m delightful. | 你得承认 我的确很讨人喜欢 | 
| [12:31] | Why are you making this so difficult? | 你干嘛把事情搞这么复杂 | 
| [12:32] | It’s not difficult for me. | 哪里复杂了 | 
| [12:34] | I’m having fun. | 我觉得很有趣 | 
| [12:36] | Leonard. | 莱纳德 | 
| [12:37] | What do you want me to do? You started this. | 那你要我怎么样 是你挑起来的 | 
| [12:39] | Do you want to go over and tell him we’re broken up? | 你想过去告诉他我们分手了吗 | 
| [12:40] | – No. – Well, then, what do you want? | -不想 -那你想怎么样 | 
| [12:42] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 | 
| [12:43] | Don’t you think that’s something you should | 难道你在跑过来之前 | 
| [12:44] | have figured out before you stomped over here? | 不应该先想想清楚吗 | 
| [12:47] | Maybe. | 好吧 也许是 | 
| [12:49] | Leonard, Penny, excellent. | 莱纳德 佩妮 刚好你们在 | 
| [12:51] | I’d like to say I’m very happy that you’re back together, | 我想说我很高兴你们又在一起了 | 
| [12:54] | and if I can figure out a way to do so | 如果我能有法子让自己显得更真诚些 | 
| [12:56] | and sound sincere, I will. | 我肯定会不遗余力 | 
| [12:59] | In the meantime, | 与此同时 | 
| [13:00] | I’d like to go over some proposed changes | 我要对室友协议进行一些修订 | 
| [13:02] | to the roommate agreement specifically to address | 特别要提出关于佩妮 | 
| [13:04] | Penny’s annoying personal habits. | 十分烦人的个人习惯 | 
| [13:07] | Oh, my God. | 我的老天 | 
| [13:08] | – What personal habits? – I have a list. | -什么个人习惯 -我列了个单子 | 
| [13:11] | FYI, overuse of the phrase “Oh, my God” is number 12. | 顺便 第12条就是”我的天啊”的滥用 | 
| [13:16] | Okay, Sheldon, you don’t have to do this | 好吧 谢尔顿 你没必要这么做 | 
| [13:17] | – because Leonard and I are not… Ba-ba-ba-ba. | -因为我和莱纳德不… -吡吡吡吡吡 | 
| [13:19] | Are you sure you want to include him in this? | 你确定要把他也牵扯进来吗 | 
| [13:21] | Include me in what? | 牵扯进什么东西 | 
| [13:22] | Is there a plot afoot? | 有什么正在策划中的阴谋? | 
| [13:24] | I’ll have no truck with plots. | 我可绝对不参与阴谋 | 
| [13:27] | No, you’re right. | 好吧 你是对的 | 
| [13:28] | No, there’s… there’s no plots, no trucks, no feet. | 不不 没有情节 不用卡车也不用走路 | 
| [13:32] | So what other annoying habits shall we discuss? | 还有什么烦人的习惯要讨论 | 
| [13:34] | Uh, we don’t discuss anything. | 我们不是讨论 | 
| [13:36] | Leonard is the signatory to the roommate agreement. | 莱纳德签署了室友协议 | 
| [13:39] | As such, he bears responsibility | 所以 他对你的违规行为 | 
| [13:41] | for all your infractions and must pay all fines. | 负有全责 并必须支付罚款 | 
| [13:45] | – Fines? – Yes. | -罚款 -是的 | 
| [13:46] | If Penny’s going to be spending nights here again, | 如果佩妮又要继续在这过夜 | 
| [13:47] | you’ll need to set up an escrow account. | 你就得建立一个托管帐户 | 
| [13:49] | Sign here. | 在这签名 | 
| [13:55] | Hello, Hawaii. | 你好丫 夏威夷 | 
| [13:56] | This is Dr. Koothrappali in Pasadena. | 我是帕萨迪纳市的库萨帕里博士 | 
| [13:59] | I’d like you to reposition the telescope, please. | 你想请你改放望远镜的位置 | 
| [14:02] | Scarlett Johansson’s house! | 斯嘉丽·约翰逊的家[著名女演员 超靓] | 
| [14:06] | I’m kidding, Hawaii. | 开玩笑的啦 夏威夷 | 
| [14:08] | Mahalo. | 多谢啦[夏威夷语] | 
| [14:10] | Whoo! | 嗷呜 | 
| [14:13] | It might have been a mistake | 我们开第二瓶酒 | 
| [14:14] | to open that second bottle of wine. | 根本就是个错误 | 
| [14:17] | Well, live and learn. | 吃一堑长一智嘛 | 
| [14:19] | So, Raj, do you think this planet you’re looking for | 拉杰 你觉得你找的那个星球上 | 
| [14:21] | could have an atmosphere that supports life? | 拥有适合生命生存的环境吗 | 
| [14:24] | Maybe. | 也许吧 | 
| [14:25] | If it did, I’d be famous. | 如果真是 我就出名了 | 
| [14:27] | I’d be on the cover of magazines. | 我会成为杂志封面人物 | 
| [14:29] | And then, instead of living alone | 那我就不用孤独一人住小公寓了 | 
| [14:30] | in my tiny apartment, I’d have a big mansion. | 而是能住大豪宅 | 
| [14:33] | That sounds great. | 听起来真棒 | 
| [14:34] | It is. | 的确 | 
| [14:35] | If you like wandering around a big, empty house | 如果你想一个人住空荡荡的房子 | 
| [14:37] | with no one to love you. | 却没人爱着你 | 
| [14:42] | – We’d come visit you. – No, you wouldn’t. | -我们会去看你 -不会的 | 
| [14:45] | You’d be intimidated by my wealth and fame. | 你们会被我的财富和名声吓倒 | 
| [14:48] | My only friends would be my genetically engineered monkey butler | 我的朋友只有我那转基因的猴子管家 | 
| [14:51] | and the little people I hired to be my living chess set. | 还有我雇来的那侏儒真人象棋 | 
| [14:57] | He’s taking a turn to the dark side, isn’t he? | 他要开始变阴郁了吧 | 
| [14:59] | Hold on. He could come back. | 再看看 他说不定能恢复的 | 
| [15:01] | Oh, what’s the point of everything? | 哦 这一切到底有何意义 | 
| [15:02] | Nope. He’s gone. | 没戏了 他彻底醉了 | 
| [15:05] | You know it’s been more than a year | 你知道 我已经超过一年 | 
| [15:06] | since I’ve even kissed a girl? | 没吻过姑娘了 | 
| [15:08] | What about that hookup at Comic-Con you told me about? | 你跟我说的在动漫展搭上的那姑娘呢 | 
| [15:10] | Oh, grow up. I was lying. | 醒醒吧 我在骗人 | 
| [15:12] | I lie all the time. Nobody wants to kiss me. | 我一直在骗人 没人愿意吻我 | 
| [15:15] | Oh, you poor, poor thing. | 可怜的小东西 | 
| [15:17] | Raj, you have to know you’re a wonderful man. | 拉杰 你得知道你这人很棒 | 
| [15:20] | There are a lot of girls out there who’ll want to kiss you. | 很多姑娘都会愿意吻你的 | 
| [15:23] | Where? | 在哪呢 | 
| [15:24] | You just have to look. | 只要你努力找寻 | 
| [15:42] | Well, this was fun. | 这下好玩了 | 
| [15:49] | Oh! I think I got a nibble. | 哦 有鱼咬钩了 | 
| [15:51] | Oh, be careful. | 小心点 | 
| [15:53] | Give him some line. | 先放线 | 
| [15:56] | Okay, now reel him in. | 好了 可以收线了 | 
| [15:58] | Oh, look at that baby. | 看看这鱼 | 
| [16:00] | They’re really biting, huh? | 咬得可真紧啊 | 
| [16:01] | Yeah. They do that when you set it on easy. | 对 你设定在”容易”时 鱼儿都这样 | 
| [16:07] | Oh, that’s me. | 是我的 | 
| [16:10] | Oh, hi, sweetie. | 是我 亲爱的 | 
| [16:12] | Yeah, I got up early and didn’t want to wake you, | 对 我很早就起床了 不想吵醒你 | 
| [16:14] | so I went out for coffee and ran into Leonard on the way back. | 所以出去买咖啡了 回来的时候碰到莱纳德 | 
| [16:17] | Guess what– we’re fishing. | 你猜怎么着 我们现在在钓鱼 | 
| [16:20] | Yeah. Right here on his couch. | 对 就坐在他们沙发上钓着呢 | 
| [16:23] | Hey, baby. I love you! | 宝贝 我爱你 | 
| [16:28] | That’s Leonard. | 是莱纳德 | 
| [16:29] | Says he loves you. | 说他爱你 | 
| [16:32] | What? | 什么 | 
| [16:35] | I see. | 我明白了 | 
| [16:37] | The whole thing’s bull squirt, huh? | 这些都是瞎编的 是吗 | 
| [16:40] | Well, that’s very disappointing. Bye. | 我真是失望 再见 | 
| [16:52] | There’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you. | 我一直有话想跟你说 | 
| [16:57] | I can’t believe you would lie to me like that. | 真不敢相信 你们会这么骗我 | 
| [16:58] | Just for the record, I did not want to be a part of this. | 声明一下 我也是身不由己的 | 
| [17:00] | I’ll get to you in a minute. | 我等下再找你算账 | 
| [17:02] | No hurry. | 不急 | 
| [17:03] | That my own daughter thinks I don’t love her enough | 我的亲生女儿 觉得我不够爱她到 | 
| [17:06] | to support her no matter what choices she makes– | 不管她怎么选择我都会支持她 | 
| [17:07] | well, that hurts me deeply. | 这太伤我心了 | 
| [17:09] | – I’m sorry, Daddy… – Let me finish. | -抱歉老爸… -让我说完 | 
| [17:11] | I thought we were past the days | 我还以为你已今非昔比了 | 
| [17:12] | when you would try to pull the wool over my eyes. | 不会再蒙骗我了 | 
| [17:14] | Telling me the baggie in your underwear drawer is potpourri? | 说你内衣抽屉里的小袋子是香包 | 
| [17:19] | And the pee stick in your bathroom is to check for diabetes? | 卫生间里的验尿棒是查糖尿病的 | 
| [17:27] | You know, I’m sorry. | 对不起 | 
| [17:28] | You’re a grown woman, and I respect your right | 你长大了 我尊重你 | 
| [17:30] | to make your own decisions, | 让你自己作决定 | 
| [17:31] | but all I ask is you respect me enough | 我只要求你也同样尊重我 | 
| [17:33] | to be honest about them. | 要对我说实话 | 
| [17:34] | You’re right. Look, from now on, I will tell you the truth. | 你说得对 从今以后我一定对你说实话 | 
| [17:37] | Thank you. Now, why don’t you go and put some clothes on | 谢谢 现在进去换件衣服 | 
| [17:40] | and we’ll grab a bite to eat before I head for the airport. | 趁我出发去机场前 先去吃点东西 | 
| [17:43] | – Now you… – Daddy, he had nothing to do… | -而你… -老爸 他跟着没关系… | 
| [17:44] | – Keep walking. – Okay. | -走你的 -好吧 | 
| [17:50] | Please, please, please don’t give up on her. | 求求你 拜托你别放弃追她 | 
| [17:55] | What? | 什么 | 
| [17:56] | I can’t go back to the skateboard idiots, the white rappers | 我不想再面对什么滑板白痴 白人说唱歌手 | 
| [17:59] | and all those sweaty dumb-asses with their backwards hats. | 还有那些反戴帽子满身汗臭的蠢驴们 | 
| [18:05] | Gee, I don’t know if it’s in the cards, sir. | 天 我不知道我是否还有机会 | 
| [18:07] | Then, stack the deck. | 那就作弊 | 
| [18:10] | Cheat. Lie. I don’t care. | 欺骗 撒谎 我无所谓 | 
| [18:13] | I want grandkids before I die, | 我死前还想抱上外孙 | 
| [18:14] | and I want them to grow up in a house without wheels. | 而且不想他们在活动房里长大 | 
| [18:24] | – I’ll give it a shot. – Thank you. | -那我试试 -谢谢 | 
| [18:27] | Now I’m going to do something here to help you along. | 现在我来做点事帮帮你 | 
| [18:29] | – Excuse me? – Just don’t panic. | -什么 -别怕就对了 | 
| [18:31] | Now, get your sorry, lying ass out of my face | 你这个骗人的混蛋快给我滚蛋 | 
| [18:33] | and make sure I never see it again! | 别让我再看到你 | 
| [18:36] | Oh, the reverse psychology thing. I see. That’s very clever. | 逆反心理 我懂的 真聪明 | 
| [18:39] | Don’t yap. Just get out. | 别说出来 快出去 | 
| [18:42] | I’ll friend you on Facebook. | 我回去上Facebook加你好友 | 
| [18:50] | Oh, there you are. | 你来了 | 
| [18:53] | Just so you know, I was up all night, | 跟你说 我一晚没睡 | 
| [18:55] | but I have finally completed | 终于完成了 | 
| [18:56] | the Penny-specific section of the new roommate agreement. | 针对佩妮部分的新室友协议 | 
| [19:01] | Yeah well, not necessary. We broke up again. | 不必了 我们又分手了 | 
| [19:16] | Do you even think about other people, Leonard? | 你有没有为别人着想过 莱纳德 | 
| [19:22] | Do you? | 你想过没有 | 
| [19:30] | Oh, how’d it go last night? | 昨晚怎么样 | 
| [19:33] | Oh, you know. | 你知道的 | 
| [19:35] | Same old, same old. | 都一样的 没啥变化 | 
| [19:37] | Looked through a telescope, saw some stars. Big whoop. | 通过望远镜看到些星星 就是大惊喜了 | 
| [19:40] | Really? | 真的吗 | 
| [19:41] | You waited months for time with that telescope. What happened? | 这望远镜你可等了几个月了 怎么了 | 
| [19:44] | Why? You writing a book? | 干嘛 采访我写书吗 | 
| [19:47] | I’m going to propose a hypothesis. | 我提出个假设 | 
| [19:49] | Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization | 昨晚 拉杰偶然与外星文明联络上了 | 
| [19:54] | and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret. | 然后被美国政府要求严格保密 | 
| [20:00] | Nothing happened. Can we please just change the subject? | 啥事都没有 能换个话题吗 | 
| [20:03] | That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone. | 这话一听就是排演过的 我们不是唯一智慧生命 | 
| [20:13] | You get to play with Raj’s big telescope last night? | 昨晚你顺利把玩上拉杰的大望远镜了吗 | 
| [20:19] | Where did that come from? | 这话从何说起 | 
| [20:21] | He never touched my telescope. | 他从未碰过我的望远镜 | 
| [20:23] | Way to go shutting up. | 你给我闭嘴 | 
| [20:25] | I did shut up. Now you shut up. | 我闭嘴了 你也给我闭嘴 | 
| [20:26] | – Fine. – Thank you. | -好吧 -谢谢 | 
| [20:33] | I can’t believe you didn’t call me this morning. | 真不敢相信 你今早没给我打电话 |