| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | You’ll never believe what happened to me at work today. | 你绝对想不到我今天工作时遇上了什么事 |
| [00:04] | This old guy was choking on his food, and I saved his life. | 一个老头子吃东西噎到了 我救了他一命 |
| [00:08] | You’re kidding. Did you Heimlich him? | 真的吗 你对他用了海姆立克急救法吗 |
| [00:09] | No. I said, “Oh, my God, I think that old guy’s choking,” | 没有 我说 天啊 我觉得他噎着了 |
| [00:11] | and then one of the busboys Heimlich’ed him. | 然后一个勤杂工对他用了海姆立克急救法 |
| [00:16] | You’re a hero. | 你真是英雄 |
| [00:18] | Yeah, that was the point of the story. | 我就是这意思 |
| [00:22] | Oh, yeah, speaking of work, do you know | 说到工作 你周四晚上 |
| [00:23] | if you have Thursday night off? | 是不是不用上班 |
| [00:25] | Um, I think so. Why? | 好像是 怎么了 |
| [00:26] | What do you mean, why? It’s Valentine’s Day. | 什么叫”怎么了” 那天是情人节啊 |
| [00:28] | Oh, right. | 对哦 |
| [00:29] | Yeah, we can do something. | 我们可以约个会 |
| [00:32] | You could be a little more into it. | 你可以表现得更热情一点 |
| [00:33] | No, I’m into it, I’m into it. | 我很热情 我很热情 |
| [00:35] | Just, there’s so much pressure to make the night special, | 只是要想度过一个特别之夜压力好大 |
| [00:37] | and it never works out. | 而且结果总不尽如人意 |
| [00:38] | Okay, well, this time it’s going to be different. | 今年的情人节会有所不同的 |
| [00:40] | Because I am like a romance ninja. | 因为我就像一个浪漫忍者 |
| [00:44] | You don’t see it coming, and then bam! | 出乎你意料 突然一下 |
| [00:46] | Romance, watch out, hearts, kisses, love, ooh-ya! | 浪漫 注意 心形 亲亲 爱情 |
| [00:51] | You know, sometimes I think I’ve made you | 有时我以为我把你改造得 |
| [00:52] | so much cooler than you used to be, | 比以前酷多了 |
| [00:54] | and then you go and do that. | 然后你就会闹腾两下证明我错了 |
| [00:58] | So, in conclusion, | 总而言之 |
| [00:59] | I believe the painful sensation felt | 我认为吃完辣椒后 |
| [01:02] | after passing a meal of spicy chilies | 排泄时感受到的痛苦 |
| [01:04] | is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste. | 证明了直肠的确有味觉 |
| [01:14] | I concur, but you changed the subject. | 我同意 但你改变了话题 |
| [01:16] | What are we doing for Valentine’s Day? | 我们情人节有什么安排 |
| [01:19] | Oh, you caught that, did you? | 被你发现了 |
| [01:53] | Okay. | 好 |
| [01:55] | Okay. | 行 |
| [01:58] | Okay. | 可以 |
| [02:00] | Okay. | 没问题 |
| [02:02] | Okay! | 好的啦 |
| [02:07] | Okay. | 好 |
| [02:11] | Everything okay? | 一切都还”好”吗 |
| [02:16] | Bernie’s a little cranky | 妮妮有些暴躁 |
| [02:18] | since she’s been working, like, 17 hours a day. | 因为她一天工作17个小时 |
| [02:20] | And I’ve got a lot on my plate, too, because I’ve been | 我也没闲着 因为我一直 |
| [02:22] | busting my tail playing Assassin’s Creed. | 都在忙着玩《刺客信条》 |
| [02:25] | Hey, Stuart, | 斯图尔特 |
| [02:26] | you got anything going on for Valentine’s Day? | 你情人节有什么安排吗 |
| [02:28] | Not really. | 没有 |
| [02:29] | Other than hiding all the sharp objects around here | 只是把这里所有尖锐的东西都藏起来 |
| [02:31] | and white-knuckling it till morning. | 然后紧张兮兮到天明 |
| [02:34] | What do you got going on? | 你打算干什么 |
| [02:36] | Oh, well, I was going to spend the night | 我本打算和我的小宝贝 |
| [02:38] | with my special little lady, but, uh, | 共度今晚 但是 |
| [02:40] | she got worms, and then I had to take her to the vet. | 它长了寄生虫 所以我得送它去看兽医 |
| [02:46] | There must be something we can do. | 肯定能找到事情打发时间的 |
| [02:48] | Well, uh, how about you keep the store open late, | 不如你晚点关门 |
| [02:51] | and we throw a party for all the people | 我们举办一个派对 |
| [02:53] | who don’t have dates? | 邀请所有没约会的人 |
| [02:54] | That actually sounds kind of nice. | 听起来真是个好主意 |
| [02:56] | Yeah, the theme will be that the greatest love | 派对主题是 一个男人所拥有的 |
| [02:58] | a man can have is the love he has with himself. | 最伟大的爱就是对自己的爱 |
| [03:04] | That’s good. | 挺好 |
| [03:05] | Or maybe something a little less “Hand in the pants.” | 或者换个听着不那么像打飞机的主题 |
| [03:12] | Oh, Alex, excellent. | 艾利克斯 太好了 |
| [03:14] | I have a research problem | 我有个研究问题 |
| [03:16] | that I believe you can help with. | 我相信你能助我一臂之力 |
| [03:18] | Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank you. | 库珀博士 谢谢 |
| [03:20] | I’ve been waiting for an opportunity | 我一直在等待一个机会 |
| [03:22] | to contribute to your scientific work. | 为你的科研做出贡献 |
| [03:24] | Oh, no, no. That’s not going to happen, no. | 不不 没那可能 绝对没 |
| [03:28] | What I need you to do is find a Valentine’s gift | 我是要你为我的女朋友 |
| [03:32] | for my girlfriend. | 挑情人节礼物 |
| [03:35] | You realize I passed up an opportunity | 你知道我推掉了 |
| [03:37] | to work at Fermilab to take this job with you. | 费米实验室的工作 而选择与你合作吧 |
| [03:37] | 美国最重要的物理学研究中心之一 | |
| [03:40] | Well, I guess those chaps will have to have | 看来那些小伙子们得找别人 |
| [03:43] | someone else buy their girlfriends presents. | 来给他们的女友买礼物了 |
| [03:45] | Now, here is… | 这里有 |
| [03:48] | Let’s see. | 瞧瞧 |
| [03:49] | This is… | 这里 |
| [03:54] | This is about $2,000. | 这里大概是两千块 |
| [03:58] | Um, I think she likes monkeys and the color gray. | 我觉得她喜欢猴子和灰色 |
| [04:08] | Contribute to my work. | 为我的科研做出贡献 |
| [04:13] | Ah, kids say the darnedest things. | 小孩子真是会胡扯 |
| [04:19] | Hey, you coming to lunch? | 去吃中饭吗 |
| [04:20] | Yeah, one second. | 稍等片刻 |
| [04:21] | Come here. I want to show you something. | 过来 给你看个东西 |
| [04:22] | What you looking at? | 你在看什么呢 |
| [04:23] | Well, I was trying to come up with something | 我想送个非常浪漫的 |
| [04:25] | really romantic to give Bernadette | 情人节礼物给伯纳黛特 |
| [04:28] | for Valentine’s Day since she’s been | 因为她最近 |
| [04:29] | such a pain in the ass. | 真的很讨厌 |
| [04:34] | You can’t find a card that says that? | 找不到上面写着”你很讨厌”的贺卡吗 |
| [04:38] | Check it out. | 来看看 |
| [04:38] | I used the atomic force microscope | 我动用了材料科学实验室的 |
| [04:40] | in the material science lab and wrote our initials | 原子力显微镜 在沙粒千分之一大小的心形上 |
| [04:43] | in a heart 1/1,000 the size of a grain of sand. | 刻上了我俩姓名首字母 |
| [04:48] | Oh, that’s cool. | 太帅了 |
| [04:50] | A micro-valentine for a microbiologist. | 给微生物学家准备的”微小”情人节礼物 |
| [04:55] | From her micro-husband. | 她”微小”的丈夫送的 |
| [05:01] | That is amazing. | 太棒了 |
| [05:02] | How long did this take you? | 你花了多长时间 |
| [05:04] | Mmm, about 12 hours. | 大概12个小时 |
| [05:06] | I pulled an all-nighter. | 我忙活了整个通宵 |
| [05:08] | Yeah, I know, it really took a bite | 我知道 我的游戏时间 |
| [05:10] | out of my video game time. | 惨遭侵占 |
| [05:13] | What are you and Penny doing? | 你和佩妮打算干什么 |
| [05:14] | Oh, I’m going to take her to a nice restaurant for dinner. | 我打算带她去高级餐厅共进晚餐 |
| [05:17] | Oh, that’s not bad, but as far as romance goes, | 还不错 但从浪漫的角度来说 |
| [05:21] | I think my gift hits it right out of… | 我觉得我的礼物完全胜过了… |
| [05:28] | – Want to come to dinner with us? – Yes, please. | -想和我们共进晚餐吗 -带上我吧 |
| [05:32] | Okay. | 好 |
| [05:33] | Amy will be here shortly, | 艾米马上就会到 |
| [05:35] | expecting the perfect Valentine’s gift, so… | 她在期待超赞的情人节礼物 所以 |
| [05:39] | you’re up kid. | 该你了丫头 |
| [05:40] | Dazzle me. Go. | 尽请支招吧 |
| [05:43] | Okay, I think I have some really great choices. | 我确实有几个妙招 |
| [05:45] | I went on Amy’s Facebook page | 我到艾米的Facebook主页上 |
| [05:47] | and read up on her interests. | 了解了一下她的喜好 |
| [05:48] | Now, see, I never would have thought to do that. | 瞧吧 我就绝对想不到这样做 |
| [05:52] | Clearly, I made a good choice | 很明显 把此事交给你来办 |
| [05:54] | farming this out to you. | 真是太英明了 |
| [05:55] | But I am telling you, | 你得知道 |
| [05:56] | Amy hit the boyfriend jackpot. | 艾米找到我做男朋友可真是中了头奖 |
| [05:58] | Anyway, my socks are on. | 总之 我脚上有袜子 |
| [05:58] | knock socks off 给人惊喜 | |
| [06:01] | Let’s knock them off. | 快快把它们吓掉吧 |
| [06:07] | Well, um, I know she loves playing the harp, | 我知道她喜欢弹竖琴 |
| [06:10] | so I found this beautiful music box | 所以我找到了这个精致的音乐盒 |
| [06:14] | that plays one of her favorite songs. | 弹奏的是她最喜欢的曲子 |
| [06:19] | Now, Amy already has a real harp. | 可是艾米已经有真正的竖琴了 |
| [06:22] | And it can play any song. | 那玩意可以弹任何曲子 |
| [06:26] | What are you trying to pull here? | 这一招的高明之处在哪 |
| [06:29] | – No, I just thought it would be… – Next. | -不 我只是觉得这个 -下一个 |
| [06:33] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [06:34] | Um, I know she’s a fan of The Canterbury Tales, | 我知道她很喜欢《坎特伯雷故事集》 |
| [06:34] | 英国诗人乔叟的著名诗体短篇小说集 | |
| [06:36] | so I found… | 所以我找到了 |
| [06:40] | this cool map | 这张很酷的地图 |
| [06:41] | that illustrates the characters’ journey through England. | 上面标明了书中人物在英国的旅行路线 |
| [06:44] | I thought we could put it in a really nice frame. | 我们可以选个漂亮的框子裱起来 |
| [06:47] | But she’s got Google Maps on her phone. | 但她的手机里装了谷歌地图 |
| [06:54] | I don’t know how to respond to that. | 我词穷了 |
| [06:57] | Well, I hope it’s with a third good option, | 我希望还有第三个不错的选择 |
| [06:59] | because these first two… blah. | 这前两个也太逊了 |
| [07:04] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [07:05] | Well, uh, luckily, I saved the best for last. | 幸运的是 我把最好的留在最后了 |
| [07:09] | Since Amy’s a neuroscientist, | 艾米是个神经学家 |
| [07:10] | I did some research and found out | 我做了点调查 发现 |
| [07:12] | that Santiago Ramony Cajal, | 圣地亚哥·拉蒙尼·卡哈尔 |
| [07:14] | the father of modern neuroscience, | 现代神经科学之父 |
| [07:16] | did lots of hand drawings of brain cells. | 曾绘制过许多脑细胞的手绘图 |
| [07:19] | And I managed to find | 而我想办法拿到了 |
| [07:22] | this signed print. | 这幅有其签名的版本 |
| [07:27] | Oh, this is truly remarkable. | 这个可真了不起 |
| [07:30] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [07:31] | I think I’ll keep it for myself. | 我自己收下了 |
| [07:36] | What about your girlfriend? | 那你的女朋友呢 |
| [07:37] | It’s too late. I call dibs. | 太晚了 我说了这个归我了 |
| [07:44] | This place is really beautiful. | 这家餐厅真是不错 |
| [07:46] | Wah… romance ninja. | 浪漫忍者 |
| [07:52] | Sorry we’re late. | 抱歉迟到了 |
| [07:54] | No problem. We just sat down. | 没关系 我们刚坐下 |
| [07:56] | Mmm, would you like some wine? | 想来点红酒吗 |
| [07:57] | Yeah, fill her up. | 好 给我倒上 |
| [08:01] | I’ll tell you when to stop. | 叫你停再停 |
| [08:05] | Is everything okay? | 一切都还好吗 |
| [08:06] | Terrific. Couldn’t be better. | 好极了 没法再好了 |
| [08:08] | Oh, bite me. | 你奈我何 |
| [08:12] | Look, we can still have a nice night. | 我们今晚还是可以开开心心的 |
| [08:13] | Just tell me where it is. | 告诉我在哪就行了 |
| [08:15] | Maybe if you did what you said you were going to do, I’d tell you. | 你要是能说到做到 我就会告诉你了 |
| [08:18] | Uh, where what is? | 什么东西在哪 |
| [08:19] | She hid my XBOX like I’m a child. | 她像对付小孩一样 把我的游戏机藏起来了 |
| [08:24] | Yeah, and my mom got me that for my birthday, | 那可是我妈妈给我的生日礼物 |
| [08:25] | so if you don’t give it back, I’m telling. | 你要是不还给我 我就告状去 |
| [08:30] | I’ve been working late every night. | 我每天都工作到很晚 |
| [08:31] | All I asked was that he | 我只不过是要求他 |
| [08:32] | clean the apartment and do one load of laundry. | 把家里收拾干净 洗一次衣服 |
| [08:34] | But did he do it? No. | 但他做了吗 没有 |
| [08:35] | He just kept on playing that stupid game. | 他就那么心安理得地玩那蠢游戏 |
| [08:37] | You like pushing buttons so much, | 你这么喜欢按按钮 |
| [08:39] | try pushing them on the washing machine. | 干嘛不按按洗衣机的按钮 |
| [08:43] | I said I’m sorry. | 我道过歉了 |
| [08:45] | Sorry doesn’t clean my underpants, buddy. | 道歉可洗不了我的内裤 哥们 |
| [08:49] | I told you, turn them inside out. | 我跟你说过了 翻过来穿就行了 |
| [08:52] | And I told you to bite me. | 然后我说我不愿意你奈我何 |
| [08:56] | Trying to have a magical night here, guys. | 我们还想度过美好时光呢 |
| [09:03] | – Oh, son of a bitch. – What? | -见鬼 -怎么了 |
| [09:05] | Nothing. Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [09:07] | No, tell me. | 说嘛 |
| [09:08] | It’s just this guy I used to date. | 那是我的前男友 |
| [09:12] | Until he cheated on me with my friend Gretchen, | 后来他背着我和我的朋友格雷琴偷腥 |
| [09:14] | who’s here with him now. | 也就是和他在一起那女的 |
| [09:16] | You’re kidding. | 不是吧 |
| [09:17] | And it looks like she lost a lot of weight, damn it. | 她好像瘦了不少 可恶 |
| [09:22] | I know it’s not ideal, | 我知道他们的出现让你不开心 |
| [09:23] | but don’t let them ruin our night. | 但没必要让他们毁了我们的夜晚 |
| [09:25] | No, you’re totally right. | 对 你说得对 |
| [09:26] | She could be skinny ’cause she’s dying. | 她可能是因为快死了所以这么瘦 |
| [09:29] | That’s the spirit. | 这么想就对了 |
| [09:31] | You know what, screw them. | 管他们的呢 |
| [09:32] | Our night is going to be way more special than theirs. | 我们的夜晚会比他们的难忘许多 |
| [09:35] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [09:41] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [09:42] | Oh, you got to be kidding me. | 逗姐玩呢是吧 |
| [09:45] | Oh, my God, yes. | 天啊 我愿意 |
| [09:47] | Of course I’ll marry you. | 我愿意嫁给你 |
| [09:51] | Two can play this game. | 谁说我们不行了 |
| [09:52] | – Penny… – Get up. | -佩妮 -给我起来 |
| [09:53] | All right. | 好 |
| [10:05] | It’s nice that all the people who are lonely on Valentine’s Day | 所有在情人节没有伴侣的单身人士 |
| [10:08] | can come here tonight and be together. | 能来这里聚聚真好 |
| [10:10] | Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it. | 是啊 我很期待 |
| [10:13] | In fact, there’s no place I would rather be than here. | 事实上 我就想待在这里 哪也不想去 |
| [10:15] | Except on a date with anybody. | 除非有任何人愿意和你约会 |
| [10:17] | Literally anybody. | 真的任何人都可以 |
| [10:20] | You know, you and I have so much fun hanging out. | 我们在一起总是很开心 |
| [10:23] | If you were a girl, | 如果你是个女孩的话 |
| [10:24] | all our problems would be solved. | 我们所有问题就迎刃而解了 |
| [10:29] | What? | 什么 |
| [10:31] | Oh, yeah, think about it. | 你仔细想想 |
| [10:32] | We’d hang out, | 我们可以总在一起玩 |
| [10:33] | we’d read comic books, we’d see movies. | 可以一起看漫画 一起看电影 |
| [10:36] | It’d be like the best relationship ever. | 这算得上是世间最美妙的关系了 |
| [10:39] | That does sound nice. | 听起来是挺好的 |
| [10:40] | Then I’d take you home, slip off your little black dress | 然后我送你回家 脱下你的小黑裙 |
| [10:43] | and just pile-drive you into oblivion. | 把你搞到七晕八素分不清南北 |
| [10:49] | What? | 什么 |
| [10:53] | Oh, I can’t believe | 真不敢相信 |
| [10:54] | he’s going to marry the girl he cheated on me with. | 他要和破坏我们感情的小三结婚了 |
| [10:56] | Isn’t it kind of nice? | 这不是挺美好的吗 |
| [10:58] | I mean, he was with the wrong person, | 他曾经爱上了错误的对象 |
| [10:59] | and now he found the right person. | 如今终于找到他的真爱 |
| [11:01] | What, so I’m the wrong person? | 怎么 我成了错误的对象吗 |
| [11:02] | Maybe you want to be with Gretchen, too. | 那你是不是也想和格雷琴在一起啊 |
| [11:07] | They do look happy. | 他们看起来挺开心的 |
| [11:08] | Yeah, maybe tonight. | 就算是今晚开心 |
| [11:09] | But a year from now, he’ll be | 但一年以后 他就会 |
| [11:10] | crawling under the sink looking for his Xbox. | 潜伏在水槽底下摸寻他的游戏机了 |
| [11:14] | Well, he will. | 他肯定会的 |
| [11:18] | You know what? Why don’t we just forget about them | 算了吧 何不忘掉他们 |
| [11:19] | and enjoy our Valentine’s Day? | 好好享受我们自己的情人节 |
| [11:21] | Yes, absolutely. | 好的 没问题 |
| [11:28] | Now they’re doing that phony | 现在他们居然玩那种假到爆的 |
| [11:30] | link-arm-drink thingy. | 交杯酒把戏 |
| [11:32] | I totally taught him that. | 这一招还是我教他的呢 |
| [11:37] | I thought we were letting it go. | 我以为我们说好不管他们了 |
| [11:38] | We were; it’s just… it’s not fair, okay? | 当然 只是 这太不公平了 好吗 |
| [11:40] | They’re bad people. | 他们不是什么好人 |
| [11:41] | It’s not supposed to end happy for them; | 不配拥有幸福大结局 |
| [11:43] | it’s supposed to end happy for me. | 明明应该是我找到最后的幸福 |
| [11:46] | It did end happy for you. | 你已经找到你的幸福了啊 |
| [11:47] | You’re here with me. | 你现在和我在一起 |
| [11:48] | Yeah, yeah, I know. | 是 是 我知道 |
| [11:51] | Okay, this is getting a little hard to not take personally. | 你这么敷衍的样子 很难不让我受伤 |
| [11:53] | Oh, come on, don’t make this about you. | 得了 别又扯到你身上去了 |
| [11:55] | Oh, I’m not. It’s about you. | 不是我 这是你的问题 |
| [11:56] | Yeah, well, whatever, okay? | 随便怎么都好 行吗 |
| [11:58] | I told you, Valentine’s Day sucks. | 我告诉过你 情人节就没好事 |
| [11:59] | This one does, and you’re the reason why. | 这个情人节不好过 而你就是罪魁祸首 |
| [12:02] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:04] | You know, compared to them, | 和他们比起来 |
| [12:05] | I’m feeling pretty good about us. | 我觉得我们俩还过得挺不错的 |
| [12:07] | Me, too. | 我也这么觉得 |
| [12:08] | How about we blow off dessert, go home early… | 不如我们不吃甜点 早点回家 |
| [12:11] | I’ll do that laundry. | 然后我把衣服都洗了 |
| [12:12] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [12:13] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [12:14] | Love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [12:17] | So where’d you hide it? | 你到底把游戏机藏哪里了 |
| [12:18] | Where you’d never look. | 你永远想不到去看的地方 |
| [12:21] | Damn it, it’s in the washing machine. | 见鬼 原来是藏在洗衣机里了 |
| [12:30] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [12:32] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [12:33] | Happy Valentine’s Day. | 情人节快乐 |
| [12:35] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [12:39] | Shall we go to dinner? | 我们去吃饭吧 |
| [12:41] | Hang on. | 等一下 |
| [12:42] | As you know, I had planned a traditional evening | 你知道 我原本计划了传统式的浪漫之夜 |
| [12:44] | of romance and gifts. | 还有互赠礼物 |
| [12:46] | Yes, | 是的 |
| [12:47] | and as you know, | 而你也知道 |
| [12:48] | I planned to pretend to enjoy it. | 我计划全程假装乐在其中 |
| [12:52] | I’ve been working on this facial expression all day. | 我已经练习这种面部表情一整天了 |
| [12:58] | And I appreciate your effort, | 我感谢你的努力 |
| [12:59] | but upon contemplation, | 但仔细一想 |
| [13:01] | I decided I was being selfish. | 我觉得自己太自私了 |
| [13:03] | So, I canceled our dinner reservations | 所以 我取消了晚餐订位 |
| [13:05] | and came up with an even better way | 想到了另一个更好的办法 |
| [13:07] | to celebrate Valentine’s Day. | 来庆祝情人节 |
| [13:09] | What is that? | 什么办法 |
| [13:10] | By doing none of it– | 就是什么都不干 |
| [13:12] | no dinner, | 不吃什么晚餐 |
| [13:13] | no romance, no gifts. | 不要什么浪漫 不送任何礼物 |
| [13:15] | We stay here, order a pizza | 我们留在家里 点个披萨外送 |
| [13:17] | and watch one of your beloved | 看一部你最爱的 |
| [13:19] | Star War Trek things. | 星际大战之类的片子 |
| [13:23] | Really? | 你说真的吗 |
| [13:24] | Well, that’s what you’d love, isn’t it? | 这才是你真心最爱的 不是吗 |
| [13:26] | More than anything. | 胜过世上的一切 |
| [13:28] | Well, then… | 好吧 |
| [13:30] | that’s what we’re going to do. | 那我们就这么做吧 |
| [13:33] | Well… I don’t know what to say. | 我不知该说什么了 |
| [13:37] | This is the most thoughtful gift | 这可是我收到过的所有礼物中 |
| [13:39] | that anyone’s ever given me. | 最有心的一件了 |
| [13:41] | And that’s including an amazing gift | 比我上午送给自己的 |
| [13:43] | that I gave myself earlier today. | 一件超级棒的礼物还要好 |
| [13:48] | I’m your girlfriend. That’s my job. | 我是你的女朋友 这是我的责任 |
| [13:50] | And I know gift-giving puts a lot of pressure on you, | 我知道挑礼物这事总是让你倍感压力 |
| [13:53] | so whatever you got me, you can return. | 所以不管你准备了什么给我 你都可以退掉它 |
| [13:58] | No. | 不行 |
| [14:00] | No, after everything you didn’t do for me tonight, | 不 就因为今晚你什么都没为我做 |
| [14:02] | I want you to have it. | 我希望你收下这个礼物 |
| [14:05] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [14:06] | Read it. | 读读看 |
| [14:08] | “Sheldon Cooper, | 谢尔顿·库珀 |
| [14:09] | Caltech University employee information”? | 加利福尼亚理工大学员工资料 |
| [14:12] | At the bottom. | 读读下面 |
| [14:13] | “In case of emergency, please contact… | 一旦发生紧急情况 请与 |
| [14:17] | Amy Farrah Fowler.” | 艾米·菲拉·福勒联系 |
| [14:21] | And there’s my phone number. | 还有我的电话号码 |
| [14:27] | This is the most beautiful gift you could’ve ever given me. | 这真是你给我的最美好的礼物了 |
| [14:31] | Well, I thought, | 反正我想 |
| [14:32] | if I have a stroke or a kidney stone, | 如果我中风 或者得了肾结石 |
| [14:36] | who would I want to share that with? | 我会愿意和谁分享这件事呢 |
| [14:42] | And you picked me. | 而你选择了我 |
| [14:45] | It’s like you said– | 就像你刚才说的 |
| [14:46] | you’re my girlfriend. | 你是我的女朋友 |
| [14:48] | Oh, Sheldon. | 谢尔顿 |
| [14:54] | Okay. | 可以了 |
| [14:56] | Stop ruining Valentine’s Day and order my pizza. | 别扫情人节的雅兴 快给我叫披萨外送 |
| [15:04] | – Night. – Yep. | -晚安 -好的 |
| [15:15] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [15:17] | That was pretty crappy of you. | 你刚才真够差劲的 |
| [15:18] | I mean, all I wanted to do was give you a great night, | 我只想给你一个浪漫的情人之夜 |
| [15:21] | and it’s like you-you went out of your way to destroy it. | 而你却竭尽所能地搞破坏 |
| [15:24] | Yeah, I know. | 没错 |
| [15:25] | I’m a total bitch. | 我就是一个贱人 |
| [15:26] | – I’m not saying that. – Well, I am. | -我没这么说 -我是的 |
| [15:28] | Fine, you win. You’re a bitch. | 好吧 拗不过你 你是贱人 |
| [15:32] | Why couldn’t we just have a nice time? | 我们为什么不能好好过一个情人节 |
| [15:35] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [15:37] | Maybe ’cause things are going so well between us lately | 也许是因为最近我们进展太顺利了 |
| [15:40] | and I’ve been really happy. | 我真的很开心 |
| [15:48] | Okay, you’re gonna have to make a lot more sense than that. | 好吧 你这解释让我更混乱了 |
| [15:52] | Obviously, I have some commitment issues. | 显然 我有承诺恐惧症 |
| [15:55] | Glaringly obvious. Go on. | 有眼睛的人都看得出来 继续说 |
| [15:57] | As long as things keep going great between us, | 只要我们继续顺利交往下去 |
| [15:59] | you’ll keep asking me to marry you, | 你会不断向我求婚 |
| [16:01] | and eventually I’m gonna end up saying yes, | 最终我会答应 |
| [16:02] | and then we’re gonna be married forever, | 然后我们就会天长地久 |
| [16:04] | and the whole thing just freaks me out. | 整件事让我想起来就头皮发麻 |
| [16:09] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [16:11] | I know I propose a lot. | 我知道我这人有喜欢求婚的毛病 |
| [16:17] | So how about this? | 你看这样行不行 |
| [16:21] | I promise I will never ask you to marry me again. | 我发誓 我再也不会向你求婚 |
| [16:25] | What… what do you mean? | 你这是什么意思 |
| [16:26] | Are you breaking up with me? | 你是要和我分手吗 |
| [16:28] | No. | 不 |
| [16:28] | No, no, no, no. | 不是的 |
| [16:29] | But if someday you decide you want to get married, | 但如果有一天你想结婚 |
| [16:33] | you have to propose to me. | 你得向我求婚 |
| [16:35] | – Really? – Yes. | -真的吗 -是的 |
| [16:37] | It’s all on you. | 主动权在你 |
| [16:39] | But I got to tell you, when the time comes, | 不过我得提醒你 真到了那个时候 |
| [16:41] | I want the whole nine yards. | 你一点也不能含糊 |
| [16:42] | I want you down on one knee, flowers. | 你得给我单膝跪地 满地鲜花 |
| [16:43] | I want to be swept off my feet. | 你得把我哄得芳心犹如小鹿乱撞 |
| [16:48] | Yeah, you got it. | 没问题 |
| [16:49] | And I’m cool with surprises. | 我不反对来个惊喜 |
| [16:50] | But nothing on a Jumbotron. | 但千万别来个大屏幕求婚 |
| [16:54] | I don’t want to cry on a big screen like that. | 我不想满球场的人看着我泪如雨下 |
| [16:59] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [17:02] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [17:04] | This might be the wine talking, | 可能酒劲上来了 |
| [17:05] | but I have a very important question to ask you. | 我有个非常重要的问题问你 |
| [17:10] | You do? | 是吗 |
| [17:12] | Leonard Hofstadter… | 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德 |
| [17:15] | Yes? | 什么事 |
| [17:18] | …will you be my valentine? | 你愿做我今夜的情人吗 |
| [17:23] | Sorry. Maybe next year. | 抱歉 咱们明年再说吧 |
| [17:27] | I’m just kidding! | 开个玩笑 |
| [17:28] | Romance ninja. Let’s have sex! | 浪漫忍者杀到 咱上床去吧 |
| [17:35] | Thank you, guys, for doing this. | 多谢你们办这场派对 |
| [17:37] | We’re glad you could make it. | 很高兴你能来 |
| [17:39] | Usually I spend Valentine’s Day sad and alone. | 通常我在情人节这天是悲伤寂寞的 |
| [17:42] | This year, I’m just sad. | 今年 我只是悲伤而已 |
| [17:46] | What is it about this holiday that makes people so unhappy? | 你说这个节日怎么就令大家这么不开心呢 |
| [17:49] | I know. | 就是说啊 |
| [17:50] | I hate myself most of the time, | 大多数时候 我都挺讨厌自己的 |
| [17:51] | but tonight’s the night I know everyone else does, too. | 但今晚 我知道其他人也好不到哪里去 |
| [17:56] | I think you’re cool. | 我觉得你挺酷的 |
| [17:59] | Great. | 多谢你看得起 |
| [18:03] | I got to tell you, | 我跟你们说 |
| [18:04] | we’ve got to stop beating ourselves up like this. | 我们不能再这样自我折磨了 |
| [18:08] | Excuse me, everybody. | 各位 不好意思 |
| [18:10] | Can I have your attention, please? | 请大家听我说几句 |
| [18:17] | We’re all here tonight because… | 今晚我们齐聚一堂是因为 |
| [18:19] | we have no one to be with. | 我们没有另一半相陪 |
| [18:21] | But… that doesn’t make us mutants. | 但这样并不代表我们是异种 |
| [18:26] | The only mutants here are in these comic books. | 这里真正的异种全在漫画书里 |
| [18:31] | We’ve got to stop defining our self-worth | 我们不能再以是否有恋爱对象 |
| [18:34] | by whether or not we’re in a relationship. | 来定义我们的自我价值 |
| [18:38] | You know what I see when I look around? | 知道我放眼过去看到什么吗 |
| [18:41] | I see a room full of great people. | 我看到一屋子了不起的人 |
| [18:45] | So let’s give ourselves a break. | 我们别再跟自己过不去了 |
| [18:48] | We are a community, | 我们是一个联盟 |
| [18:50] | and as long as we have each other, | 只要我们团结在一起 |
| [18:53] | we’re never truly alone. | 我们就不是寂寞的 |
| [19:02] | That was cool. | 真是不错 |
| [19:04] | What you said. | 你说的那些话 |
| [19:06] | You really think so? | 你真这样想吗 |
| [19:08] | Yeah, I do. | 是的 |
| [19:09] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:14] | Would you like to, uh… | 你想不想 |
| [19:16] | get a cup… A cup of coffee or…? | 去喝杯咖啡 |
| [19:19] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [19:26] | Later, losers! | 哥先走一步了 废柴联盟 |
| [19:45] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [19:47] | Another medical emergency? | 又是急诊 |
| [19:49] | What’s wrong with him now? | 这次他又怎么了 |
| [19:52] | I seriously doubt he was bitten by a Chinese bird spider. | 我严重怀疑他是不是真被虎纹捕鸟蛛咬了 |
| [19:52] | 直译名为中国鸟蜘蛛 | |
| [19:57] | How exactly does a bump feel Asian? | 一个肿块怎么可能有亚洲感 |
| [20:01] | Just put him on the phone. | 让他接电话 |
| [20:04] | Sheldon, I am not driving over there again. | 谢尔顿 我不会再开车过去了 |
| [20:07] | Because I drove over there yesterday | 因为我昨天开车去了 |
| [20:08] | for a brain tumor that turned out to be | 你说得了脑瘤 结果却是 |
| [20:10] | an ice cream headache. | 冰淇淋吃快了导致头痛 |
| [20:14] | Yes, I still want to be your emergency contact. | 是的 我依然想做你的紧急联系人 |
| [20:19] | Yes, you can eat your ice cream too fast | 是的 你可以吃冰淇淋吃得过快 |
| [20:21] | and also have a brain tumor. | 同时又有脑瘤 |
| [20:27] | I’m on my way. | 我马上来 |
| [20:31] | Brain tumor would explain a lot. | 真是脑瘤很多事情就说得通了 |