| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 | 
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Leonard, what time does your mom’s plane get in? | 莱纳德 你妈妈的飞机什么时候到 | 
| [00:04] | I don’t know– some time tomorrow morning. | 不知道 明天早上的某个时候吧 | 
| [00:06] | Don’t you want to know for sure? | 你不去确定下确切时间吗 | 
| [00:08] | No need to. | 不必 | 
| [00:09] | As soon as she flies into California airspace, | 只要她的飞机一进入加州领空 | 
| [00:11] | I’ll feel a disturbance in the Force. | 我就能感觉到原力一阵扰动 | 
| [00:14] | It’s so nice both of your moms are coming in | 真好 你们两个人的母亲 | 
| [00:16] | to see you guys get an award. | 都专程飞过来看你们领奖 | 
| [00:19] | Well, my mother’s been there for every honor I’ve won | 每次得奖我妈妈都会陪在我身边 | 
| [00:21] | since I beat out my twin sister | 这个传统从我打败双胞胎姐姐 | 
| [00:23] | for the “Did it on the potty” trophy. | 赢得”学会用便盆”就开始了 | 
| [00:26] | How does this look? | 这看起来怎么样 | 
| [00:28] | Aw, it’s so nice. She’s gonna love it. | 很好看 她一定会喜欢 | 
| [00:30] | Sure, his mom gets roses. | 是啊 他妈妈就能有玫瑰 | 
| [00:32] | When I want them, | 我说我想要玫瑰 | 
| [00:33] | they’re a “bouquet of severed plant genitals.” | 他说玫瑰是”一束被砍下来的植物性器官” | 
| [00:37] | You act like I didn’t get you | 你说得好像情人节 | 
| [00:38] | that mushroom log on Valentine’s Day. | 我没送过你蘑菇养殖木一样 | 
| [00:41] | He’s right. | 他说得对 | 
| [00:42] | Roses die, but a moist rotting log will pump out mushrooms | 玫瑰会枯萎 但一段潮湿腐烂的木头能让 | 
| [00:45] | for two or three magical years. | 蘑菇长个美好的两三年呢 | 
| [00:49] | You know, your mom’s never been too thrilled with our relationship. | 你妈妈一直对我们的感情不太感冒 | 
| [00:51] | Maybe I should get her something so she warms up to me. | 或许我该给她点什么 让她能慢慢接受我 | 
| [00:53] | If you could run out and get a PhD, | 如果你能出去弄个博士学位 | 
| [00:55] | that might make her like you. | 她说不定就会喜欢你啦 | 
| [00:57] | Really? It didn’t work for you. | 是吗 你这个博士也没赢得她的欢心啊 | 
| [01:00] | Do you think the moms will get along? | 你们觉得两位妈妈处得来吗 | 
| [01:02] | Uh, I don’t know. They’re pretty different. | 不知道 她们两人差别挺大 | 
| [01:04] | Maybe they’ll be best friends. | 说不定能成为挚友啊 | 
| [01:06] | One of them is brilliant, one is sweet and simple. | 她们一人聪明绝顶 一人善良单纯 | 
| [01:09] | Sound familiar? | 有没有种熟悉的感觉 | 
| [01:38] | Shelly, I’m so proud of you and Leonard for getting this award. | 谢利 你跟莱纳德得到这个奖让我十分骄傲 | 
| [01:42] | Oh, thank you, Mother. | 谢谢你 母亲 | 
| [01:43] | I tried to read your paper, but it was very hard | 我有试着读你的论文 但是太深了 | 
| [01:45] | for me to understand. | 我读不懂 | 
| [01:47] | Oh, it’s quite straightforward, actually. | 其实还挺好理解的啦 | 
| [01:49] | It describes a new model of the universe | 它描述了一种新的宇宙模型 | 
| [01:51] | that conceptualizes it as the surface | 将宇宙构想成 | 
| [01:54] | of an n-dimensional superfluid. | n维超流体的表面 | 
| [01:55] | Interesting. | 有意思 | 
| [01:56] | You can believe that, | 你相信这个 | 
| [01:58] | but God filling an ark with animals two-by-two is nonsense. | 却不信上帝在方舟上雌雄各一地装了各种动物 | 
| [02:04] | What did they feed the lions, Mother? | 母亲 那他们用什么喂狮子呢 | 
| [02:08] | The floating bodies of drowned sinners, of course. | 被大洪水淹死 漂来漂去的罪人尸体啊 | 
| [02:15] | Listen, Leonard’s mom is a renowned psychiatrist | 听我说 莱纳德的母亲是一位知名心理学家 | 
| [02:19] | and woman of science. | 与一名女科学家 | 
| [02:21] | Can you please keep the Bible babble to yourself | 能不能请你把你那些圣经碎话收着 | 
| [02:24] | while she’s here? | 别在她面前说 | 
| [02:25] | Are you ashamed of me? | 你觉得我让你丢人了吗 | 
| [02:27] | Of course not. I love you. | 当然不是啦 我最爱你了 | 
| [02:30] | I’m just embarrassed by the things you believe, do and say. | 我只对你的信仰 行为和话语感到丢人 | 
| [02:38] | Well, I love you, too. | 好吧 我也爱你 | 
| [02:41] | My little bowl of lion chow. | 我那喂狮子的小宝贝 | 
| [02:47] | So, have you and Penny set a wedding date? | 你跟佩妮定下婚礼的日子了吗 | 
| [02:49] | No, we’re kind of taking it slow. | 没呢 我们打算慢慢来 | 
| [02:52] | I see. | 呵呵 | 
| [02:56] | What does that mean? | 你这是什么意思 | 
| [02:58] | You’ve been on and off with this woman for seven years | 你跟这个女人分分合合七年了 | 
| [03:01] | and engaged for one year. | 然后也订婚一年了 | 
| [03:02] | One has to wonder if there’s a problem. | 让人不禁疑惑 | 
| [03:05] | Are you having satisfactory intercourse? | 你们俩性生活还行吗 | 
| [03:10] | Yes, Mother. | 是的 母亲 | 
| [03:14] | Only satisfactory. I see. | 所以只是还行 呵呵 | 
| [03:19] | I change my answer. | 我换下答案 | 
| [03:20] | It-it’s amazing. It’s hot. | 是很棒 超热辣 | 
| [03:23] | We can barely keep our hands off each other. | 一看到对方就天雷勾动地火 | 
| [03:26] | Seems odd to try and impress your mother | 试图靠炫耀床上功夫 | 
| [03:28] | with your sexual prowess. | 来取悦你的母亲有些怪吧 | 
| [03:32] | But then, you always did have that unresolved Oedipal complex. | 不过你也的确一直有恋母情结 | 
| [03:36] | See, this right here, what you’re doing, | 你看 就是你现在这样 | 
| [03:39] | can you please not do that around Sheldon’s mom? | 能不能求你别在谢尔顿他妈妈面前这样 | 
| [03:41] | Why? Are you attracted to her, too? | 为什么 你也恋上她了吗 | 
| [03:44] | Of course not. | 当然没有啦 | 
| [03:46] | She’s-she’s just a very sweet and God-fearing lady, | 她就只是个很善良很虔诚的女士 | 
| [03:49] | and you have to be respectful of her beliefs. | 所以请你对她的信仰表达尊重 | 
| [03:51] | Leonard, I’m an adult. | 莱纳德 我是个成人 | 
| [03:52] | I know how to conduct myself around people | 我知道如何在各式各样的人面前 | 
| [03:55] | from different walks of life. | 保持风度 | 
| [03:57] | Thank you. | 谢谢 | 
| [03:58] | Where is she from again? | 她是哪里人来着 | 
| [03:58] | East Texas. | 德州东部 | 
| [04:04] | Hey, look who’s here. | 看看谁来啦 | 
| [04:07] | Oh, Dr. Hofstadter, it’s so good to see you again. | 霍夫斯塔德博士 真高兴再见到你 | 
| [04:10] | Likewise. | 我也是 | 
| [04:11] | I read your paper; it was very impressive. | 我读了你的论文 非常棒 | 
| [04:14] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 | 
| [04:15] | We just spent two hours in traffic. | 我们刚开了两小时的车回来 | 
| [04:17] | Did you think to mention to me that you liked our paper? | 在路上你怎么没想过要说你喜欢我们的论文呢 | 
| [04:20] | Of course I did, but it’s a mother’s job | 我当然想过 但一位母亲的职责 | 
| [04:22] | to make sure her child’s self-esteem | 就是得确保自己孩子的自尊 | 
| [04:24] | is not dependent on anyone’s approval. | 不是建立靠得到他人肯定上 | 
| [04:28] | That’s so sweet, you think I have self-esteem. | 真好 你觉得我还有自尊心 | 
| [04:33] | Dr. Hofstadter, I want you to meet my mother, Mary. | 霍夫斯塔德博士 这位是我的母亲玛丽 | 
| [04:35] | So nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 | 
| [04:36] | Nice to meet you, too. How was your flight? | 幸会幸会 飞得还顺利吗 | 
| [04:38] | Very pleasant. And yours? | 很好 你的呢 | 
| [04:40] | Lovely. Almost as if someone– | 非常好 仿佛某位… | 
| [04:42] | not saying who– was watching over the plane. | 不说是谁了 从飞机上方庇佑着我们 | 
| [04:47] | You’re kidding, right? | 你是在开玩笑的吧 | 
| [04:50] | Subtle, Mom, real subtle. | 妈 你真是一点都不明显啊 | 
| [05:00] | Stuart. | 斯图尔特 | 
| [05:01] | Morning. | 早安 | 
| [05:04] | We talked about this. | 我们谈过这事了 | 
| [05:06] | I don’t mind you still living here, | 我不介意你继续住在这里 | 
| [05:07] | but we got to have some rules. | 但我们必须要有些规矩 | 
| [05:08] | And rule number one is pants. | 而第一条规矩就是 穿裤子 | 
| [05:19] | You must be very proud of your son. | 你一定很引你儿子为豪吧 | 
| [05:21] | Oh, yes. | 是啊 | 
| [05:23] | He recently argued a case before the Supreme Court. | 他最近在最高法院为一件案子辩护 | 
| [05:28] | He did? | 他去了吗 | 
| [05:31] | Oh, you mean this son. | 你是说这个儿子啊 | 
| [05:34] | Uh, sure, he’s terrific. | 是啦 他很不错 | 
| [05:37] | Uh, Beverly, would you like to see the math I worked out | 贝弗莉 你想不想看下我为验证我们的假设 | 
| [05:41] | to support our hypothesis? | 所做的计算 | 
| [05:42] | Uh, you mean, my hypothesis. | 你是说我的假设吗 | 
| [05:43] | I hypothesized it all by myself. | 这全部假设都是我做出来的 | 
| [05:45] | Calm down, dear. | 冷静 亲爱的 | 
| [05:48] | Mary, I’m curious. | 玛丽 我很好奇 | 
| [05:48] | When did you first realize | 你第一次发现 | 
| [05:50] | that your son had such a remarkable mind? | 你儿子有着如此非凡的脑子是什么时候呢 | 
| [05:52] | Ooh, good question. | 好问题 | 
| [05:54] | Everyone loves stories about Sheldon Cooper, boy genius. | 大家都喜欢天才小子谢尔顿·库珀的故事 | 
| [05:59] | Well, I would have to say when he was 13 | 大概是他十三岁的时候吧 | 
| [06:01] | and tried to build a nuclear reactor in the tool shed. | 他试着在工具房里造一个核反应堆 | 
| [06:04] | Ooh, this is a good one. | 这是个好故事 | 
| [06:07] | Now, the first thing you have to know about Shelly is | 首先 你需要知道的是 | 
| [06:09] | ever since he was a little boy, | 谢利从小开始 | 
| [06:10] | he was always concerned with the well-being of others. | 就打从心底为别人着想 | 
| [06:17] | And he didn’t think that it was fair | 而他觉得要人们付电费 | 
| [06:19] | for people to pay for electricity, | 这事情太不公平了 | 
| [06:21] | so he was gonna power the entire town for free. | 所以他想要为全镇提供免费电力 | 
| [06:24] | Tell her about the uranium! | 告诉她铀的事 | 
| [06:26] | Tell her about the uranium. | 快告诉她铀的事 | 
| [06:27] | Oh, well! | 好 | 
| [06:28] | Oh, this is adorable. | 这事还挺好玩的 | 
| [06:30] | When he arranged to get some yellowcake from Chad, | 当他说要从乍得那里弄来黄饼[核反应燃料]时 | 
| [06:33] | I thought he was talking about Twinkies | 我还以为他是要从朋友那里 | 
| [06:35] | from one of his friends. | 弄个夹馅面包之类的 | 
| [06:39] | But I wasn’t. | 但其实不是 | 
| [06:40] | ‘Cause I didn’t have any friends. | 因为那时我没有任何朋友 | 
| [06:43] | No. | 没有 | 
| [06:45] | It turns out that this little scallywag was trying | 后来才发现这个小混蛋 | 
| [06:47] | to use my Visa card to buy uranium | 是要用我的信用卡 | 
| [06:50] | from an African warlord in the country of Chad! | 去跟非洲国家”乍得”的军阀买铀 | 
| [06:56] | Sounds like Sheldon was a handful. | 听起来谢尔顿小时候是麻烦精啊 | 
| [06:58] | Oh, he was a handful. | 是啊 他小时候可麻烦了 | 
| [07:00] | I was a handful. | 我小时候是麻烦精 | 
| [07:03] | You still are. | 现在还是 | 
| [07:09] | Uh, Mom, hey, tell Mary the story | 妈 告诉玛丽那个 | 
| [07:11] | about how I made a Van de Graaff generator | 我用家里的吸尘器来做出 | 
| [07:14] | out of our vacuum cleaner. | 范德格拉夫起电机的事 | 
| [07:16] | All right. | 好啊 | 
| [07:18] | He broke the vacuum cleaner. | 他把吸尘器弄坏了 | 
| [07:26] | I mean, for a while, everything was vampires. | 曾有一阵子 全都是吸血鬼 | 
| [07:29] | Now it’s all zombies. | 现在全换成了僵尸了 | 
| [07:30] | I wonder what the next monster fad will be. | 真不知道下一个潮流怪物会是什么 | 
| [07:33] | We haven’t had a good invisible man in a while. | 貌似有段时间没看过隐形人了 | 
| [07:36] | Clearly, you’ve never seen me try to talk to a woman. | 显然你是从未看过我跟女人说话 | 
| [07:41] | Guys. | 先生们 | 
| [07:42] | In the time you’ve been sitting here playing video games, | 在你们坐在这里打电动的时间里 | 
| [07:44] | I got the car washed, picked up cleaning supplies | 我把车开去洗了 买了清洁用品 | 
| [07:46] | and went to the bank. | 还去了趟银行 | 
| [07:48] | I put on pants. | 我把裤子穿上啦 | 
| [07:52] | Kiss-ass. | 马屁精 | 
| [07:56] | Okay, I don’t know when I became | 我不知道我从什么时候开始 | 
| [07:57] | the mother to three lazy teenagers, | 变成了三个懒鬼少年的妈妈 | 
| [07:59] | but it stops today. | 但一切到此为止 | 
| [08:00] | You guys are cleaning the kitchen, top to bottom. | 你们去把厨房打扫了 从上到下里里外外 | 
| [08:02] | Hey, I don’t even live here. | 人家根本不住这里啊 | 
| [08:06] | Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now? | 那你回答我 我家洗衣房里有没有你的衣服 | 
| [08:09] | I do. | 有 | 
| [08:11] | And some of it’s wool, | 其中有些是羊毛的 | 
| [08:13] | so dry flat if possible. | 尽量平摊晾干 | 
| [08:18] | Oh, and here’s a picture of me receiving my bachelor of science degree. | 这张是我拿到学士学位时拍的照片 | 
| [08:22] | You don’t look very happy. | 你看起来不是很开心啊 | 
| [08:24] | Well, I had just begun puberty. | 当时才刚开始进入青春期 | 
| [08:28] | It was figuratively and literally | 所以无论从实际或比喻上来说 | 
| [08:30] | one of the hairiest moments of my life. | 那都是我最”毛”孩子的一段日子 | 
| [08:34] | Shelly does not like change. | 谢利不喜欢改变 | 
| [08:36] | Oh, true. | 是的 | 
| [08:37] | But all the clenching in the world will not keep | 无论你再怎么缩腹 | 
| [08:40] | testicles in your abdomen. | 蛋蛋还是会垂下去[长大] | 
| [08:44] | Hey, sorry, got caught up at work. | 抱歉 工作有点耽搁了 | 
| [08:46] | – Hi, Beverly! – Hello. | -贝弗利你来啦 -你好啊 | 
| [08:48] | Oh, okay. | 好吧 | 
| [08:51] | Sorry, I forgot. | 抱歉 我忘了 | 
| [08:52] | You remember my mother. | 还记得我母亲吗 | 
| [08:53] | Oh, yes. Hi, Mary! | 记得 你好吗 玛丽 | 
| [08:55] | Good to see you again, dear. | 亲爱的 很高兴又见到你 | 
| [08:57] | Ah, yeah, now that’s what I’m talking about. | 这才是我想要的 | 
| [09:00] | So, Mom, you haven’t seen Penny since we got engaged. | 妈 我跟佩妮订婚后你还没见过她呢 | 
| [09:03] | Oh, yeah, let me show you the ring. | 对了 给你看看我的戒指 | 
| [09:05] | Oh, lovely. | 很漂亮 | 
| [09:06] | Must have been very expensive. | 肯定很贵吧 | 
| [09:08] | Oh, no, not at all. | 不 一点都不贵 | 
| [09:09] | No, we, uh, found a place online | 我们在网上找到一家店 | 
| [09:11] | that, uh, repurposes diamond drill bits. | 能将金刚石钻头改成钻石 | 
| [09:17] | We did not. That’s not true. | 才不是呢 他乱说 | 
| [09:19] | Can I speak to you alone for a second? | 我能跟你单独谈一下吗 | 
| [09:22] | Oh, sure. | 当然 | 
| [09:23] | It came from Tiffany’s. | 这是从蒂芬妮买的 | 
| [09:25] | You mean the box, right? | 你说的是盒子对吧 | 
| [09:27] | Keep walking! | 继续走你的 | 
| [09:31] | Really doesn’t matter to me how much he spent on the ring. | 我一点都不在乎他在戒指上花了多少钱 | 
| [09:35] | I think. | 大概吧 | 
| [09:38] | Did I misspeak about the ring? | 关于戒指的事我说错话了吗 | 
| [09:39] | Yes, and we’ll get back to that. | 是的 那个我们等会再说 | 
| [09:42] | But, uh, even with your mother here, | 你自己的妈妈就在这儿 | 
| [09:44] | you are deliberately hogging all the attention from my mom. | 你却在故意霸占我妈全部的注意力 | 
| [09:47] | You’re like one of those elephant seal pups | 你就像象海豹的幼崽 | 
| [09:49] | that steals the milk from two mothers! | 从两个妈妈那里抢奶喝 | 
| [09:52] | Do you mean what marine biologists | 你指的是海洋生物学家 | 
| [09:54] | refer to as “super weaning”? | 所说的”超断人奶机”吧 | 
| [09:56] | Yes, you are a super weaner! | 对 你就是超”机吧” | 
| [10:02] | Well, now I have to correct you. | 这我就要纠正你了 | 
| [10:05] | A-As a bit of an elephant seal buff, | 作为象海豹的小小爱好者 | 
| [10:08] | the more accurate comparison | 更准确的比喻 | 
| [10:09] | would be when two mother seals | 应该是当两只海豹妈妈 | 
| [10:11] | actively seek to nourish the same pup. | 都抢着给一只海豹幼崽喂奶 | 
| [10:13] | So I believe the term you’re looking for | 所以我觉得你想说的是 | 
| [10:16] | is a double mother suckler. | 双吸母奶婴 | 
| [10:21] | Yeah, you’re right. | 你说得没错 | 
| [10:21] | That is the term I’m looking for. | 我想说的就是这个词 | 
| [10:23] | You are a dirty double mother suckler! | 你这个肮脏的双吸母奶婴 | 
| [10:29] | Okay, well, now that we have the terminology straightened out. | 好吧 现在我们找到正确的名词了 | 
| [10:32] | How dare you! | 你好大的胆子 | 
| [10:35] | We’re not in a rush. | 我们不着急 | 
| [10:37] | We’ll set a date when the time is right. | 等时机到了再定日子吧 | 
| [10:38] | It doesn’t matter, sweetie. | 没关系 亲爱的 | 
| [10:40] | The moment a man lays with a woman, | 只要一个男人跟女人上床 | 
| [10:41] | they are married in the eyes of the Lord. | 在上帝眼里他们就已经结婚了 | 
| [10:52] | The bible is “uch” to you? | 你对圣经就是这个态度吗 | 
| [10:54] | No, I’m sorry. That was inappropriate. | 不 抱歉 我态度不对 | 
| [10:56] | As a psychiatrist, | 作为一名精神病学家 | 
| [10:58] | I know how important people’s superstitions can be to them. | 我明白迷信对人们的重要性 | 
| [11:04] | You want to talk about superstitions? | 你想聊迷信吗 | 
| [11:06] | Sheldon sent me the books you wrote– | 谢尔顿给我看了你写的书 | 
| [11:08] | all that nonsense about superegos and ids. | 全都是关于超我和本我的鬼话 | 
| [11:10] | What bull dropped that on the barn floor? | 这都是谁提出的歪理邪说 | 
| [11:14] | His name is Sigmund Freud. | 他叫西格蒙德·弗洛伊德 | 
| [11:16] | Hey, look at that! | 你们看 | 
| [11:18] | You both believe in Jewish bearded guys. | 你们都相信有胡子的犹太人 | 
| [11:22] | Stay out of this. | 别瞎掺和 | 
| [11:25] | At least the bearded man that I believe in | 至少我相信的胡子男 | 
| [11:27] | preaches love and compassion. | 传播爱与怜悯 | 
| [11:29] | All yours talks about is | 而你相信的那个说的都是 | 
| [11:31] | why you hold in your poop | 为何人们憋着心里的便便 | 
| [11:32] | and want to crawl back inside your mama. | 以及想爬回自己妈妈的肚子里 | 
| [11:38] | It’s fascinating. | 真是太精彩了 | 
| [11:40] | How can someone as enlightened as Sheldon | 像谢尔顿这么开明的孩子 | 
| [11:42] | come from someone like you? | 怎么会有你这样的母亲 | 
| [11:46] | I know the answer. | 我知道答案 | 
| [11:47] | You’re not gonna like it. | 你不会喜欢的 | 
| [11:49] | Try me. | 你说啊 | 
| [11:50] | When I was pregnant with Shelly, I was driving to church, | 我怀着谢利的时候开车去教堂 | 
| [11:53] | and I was praying to the Lord | 向上帝祈祷 | 
| [11:55] | to give me a son smarter than his dumb-ass daddy. | 给我一个比他那个傻逼老爸聪明的儿子 | 
| [11:59] | And I looked over and I saw a Jesus bobblehead | 然后我看到旁边那辆斯巴鲁里的耶稣娃娃 | 
| [12:03] | in the Subaru next to me nodding yes. | 冲我点头说好 | 
| [12:13] | What is that supposed to mean? | 那是什么意思 | 
| [12:14] | It means… | 意思是 | 
| [12:15] | I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. | 不敢相信我们居然在聊这个 | 
| [12:18] | Well, do it some more. | 多拍几遍吧 | 
| [12:20] | Maybe you can knock some sense into yourself. | 说不定能把你自己拍灵光点 | 
| [12:23] | I hope we all stops hitting ourselves | 我们还是不要伤害自己了 | 
| [12:26] | and talk about something safe, you know, | 聊点安全的话题吧 | 
| [12:27] | like shoes or how cute little Chinese babies are. | 比如鞋子啊 中国婴儿有多萌之类的 | 
| [12:31] | Maybe it is not my fault that your mother likes me | 或许你妈妈喜欢我比喜欢你多 | 
| [12:33] | better than she likes you! | 不是我的错 | 
| [12:34] | Oh, don’t flatter yourself! | 少往自己脸上贴金了 | 
| [12:35] | She likes everybody better than she likes me! | 她喜欢任何人都比喜欢我多 | 
| [12:45] | How old is this Jell-O? | 这团果冻放了多久了 | 
| [12:46] | Well, it’s carrots, so gonna say very. | 那是胡萝卜 所以应该很久了 | 
| [12:52] | Sorry we have to do this. | 抱歉我们得清理厨房 | 
| [12:54] | Bernadette’s not wrong. | 伯纳黛特没有错 | 
| [12:56] | She does work hard around here. | 她一直都很辛苦 | 
| [12:57] | Yeah, maybe it’s a good thing | 她不再把你当娃娃一样照顾 | 
| [12:58] | if she stops babying you so much. | 也许是一件好事 | 
| [13:00] | She doesn’t baby me. | 她没有把我当娃娃 | 
| [13:02] | I saw her pull you home in a wagon. | 我看见她用小推车拉你回家 | 
| [13:06] | For your information, | 解释一下 | 
| [13:07] | I twisted my ankle chasing the ice cream truck. | 我去追冰淇淋车的时候把脚扭了 | 
| [13:11] | Face it, dude, | 面对现实吧 | 
| [13:12] | Bernadette treats you the same way your mother used to, | 伯纳黛特对你就跟你妈对你一样 | 
| [13:15] | and that was not a healthy relationship. | 这种关系很不健康 | 
| [13:20] | You’re right. | 你说得对 | 
| [13:21] | It’s time for me | 我是时候 | 
| [13:23] | to act like an adult in this marriage. | 在婚姻里表现得成熟点了 | 
| [13:26] | Starting with my husbandly duty of taking out the trash. | 履行我做丈夫的职责 从倒垃圾开始 | 
| [13:37] | Bernie, I made a mess! | 妮妮 我闯祸了 | 
| [13:43] | I’m terribly sorry that I upset your mother. | 非常抱歉惹你母亲不高兴了 | 
| [13:46] | Oh, it’s all right. She’ll forgive you. | 没事 她会原谅你的 | 
| [13:48] | She has to or she goes to hell. | 她必须原谅 否则就得下地狱了 | 
| [13:54] | I can’t help but notice | 我注意到 | 
| [13:55] | how her unconditional love for you | 她对你无条件的爱 | 
| [13:58] | is diametrically opposed to my own parenting strategies. | 与我为人母的教子之方恰恰相反 | 
| [14:02] | Well, you doled out affection | 你将少量关爱 | 
| [14:05] | as a reward for achievement– | 作为奖励发放在他们取得成就时 | 
| [14:07] | a proven way to raise a child. | 这种教子之方已被证实有效 | 
| [14:09] | Or train a rat. | 训练老鼠也有效 | 
| [14:12] | But look how well you turned out. | 看你出落得多么优秀 | 
| [14:15] | I’d feign modesty at this point, but who would believe me? | 此刻我本应表现出谦逊 可谁信啊 | 
| [14:18] | Still, you need to consider | 可你也要考虑到 | 
| [14:20] | how successful Leonard’s brother and sister are. | 莱纳德的兄弟姐妹多成功啊 | 
| [14:23] | I suppose. | 也是 | 
| [14:24] | While my brother and sister are mouth-breathing idiots. | 而我的兄弟姐妹都是只会用嘴呼吸的笨蛋 | 
| [14:29] | Do you suppose you would’ve flourished more | 你认为如果你成长在一个 | 
| [14:32] | in a reward-based environment? | 奖励机制的环境下 会更成功吗 | 
| [14:35] | Perhaps. | 大概吧 | 
| [14:36] | But my mom made me spaghetti | 可只要我想吃 | 
| [14:37] | with chopped-up hot dogs whenever I wanted, | 我妈随时都会给我做热狗肠碎意面 | 
| [14:40] | so who cares? | 所以随便啦 | 
| [14:44] | Not once did my mother ever give me any love | 我妈从来没有在我做自己的情况下 | 
| [14:46] | or affection for just being myself; | 给我爱或者关怀 | 
| [14:49] | I always had to earn it. | 我总是得赢得她的爱 | 
| [14:50] | Oh, Leonard, I’m sure she loves you very much. | 莱纳德 我肯定她非常爱你 | 
| [14:53] | In her own cold godless way. | 用她冷酷又无神论的方式 | 
| [14:58] | Yeah, and you certainly don’t have to earn my love. | 我对你的爱你是不用赢得的[挣得] | 
| [15:01] | Thank you. | 谢谢 | 
| [15:02] | Of course, you already knew that | 当然了 这点早在你给我买 | 
| [15:03] | when you bought me this princess-cut drill bit. | 这枚公主型钻头戒时 就悟透了 | 
| [15:07] | That’s not what it is. | 不是那样的 | 
| [15:08] | I know, I know. | 我懂 我懂 | 
| [15:14] | When your mom gets back, I’m gonna need | 等你母亲回来 | 
| [15:16] | to apologize for the way I spoke to her. | 我得为我说话的方式跟她道歉 | 
| [15:18] | Well, come on now, she did kind of start it. | 不用啊 反正也是她先挑的事 | 
| [15:20] | Doesn’t matter; a good Christian would’ve turned the other cheek. | 不重要 好信徒被打脸会把另一边脸送上 | 
| [15:23] | On the other hand, | 另一方面 | 
| [15:24] | a good Texan would’ve shot her, so… | 好德州人会开枪打死她 | 
| [15:29] | I just kind of split the difference. | 我选了个折衷的方式 | 
| [15:33] | Hey, who’s in the mood for spaghetti and hot dogs? | 有人想吃热狗肠碎意面吗 | 
| [15:35] | Oh, me! | 我想 | 
| [15:36] | Yeah, me, too! | 我也想吃 | 
| [15:37] | Coming up. | 马上开饭 | 
| [15:39] | I don’t really feel I deserve it. | 我感觉自己不配吃 | 
| [15:45] | That was a big sticky mess, | 看来这坨黏糊糊的垃圾 | 
| [15:46] | but… I think I got it. | 已经被我搞定了 | 
| [15:48] | Looks good. | 看着挺干净 | 
| [15:50] | Look at that. | 瞧瞧 | 
| [15:51] | You cleaned it up all by yourself. | 你自己把垃圾打扫干净了 | 
| [15:53] | Yes, I cleaned it up all by myself. | 是的 你自己把垃圾打扫干净了 | 
| [15:56] | Honestly, I don’t know why you complain so… | 真是 不懂你没事抱怨个什么… | 
| [16:00] | Okay, maybe I missed one spot. | 可能就那地方没擦干净 | 
| [16:09] | Just leave. | 退下吧 | 
| [16:13] | I’m so glad that you and I were able to bury the hatchet. | 很高兴我俩能冰释前嫌 | 
| [16:16] | Me, too. | 我也是 | 
| [16:17] | And I respect your right to your beliefs. | 我也尊重你信仰的权利 | 
| [16:19] | And I will pray for you. | 我会为你祈祷的 | 
| [16:24] | Okay, Mom, let’s get you back to your hotel | 妈 趁着大家都还没再说错话时 | 
| [16:25] | before anyone says anything else. | 我赶紧送你回酒店吧 | 
| [16:27] | One moment. | 等一下 | 
| [16:29] | There’s something I need to say to you. | 有些话我得跟你说 | 
| [16:31] | Oh, really? That’s too bad. | 真的吗 这样不好吧 | 
| [16:34] | Leonard, I always made you earn my affection, | 莱纳德 我总是逼你去争取我的关爱 | 
| [16:37] | but today I realize that | 但今天我意识到 | 
| [16:39] | there’s more than one way to raise a child. | 教育孩子不只有一种方法 | 
| [16:42] | I taught her that! | 这可是我教她的呢 | 
| [16:45] | Therefore, I would like | 于是我 | 
| [16:46] | to initiate a new protocol wherein I… | 要实施新方案 就是… | 
| [16:50] | shower you with unconditional love. | 要让你沐浴在 我无条件的爱中 | 
| [16:56] | When does that start? | 什么时候开始啊 | 
| [16:58] | So needy. | 真缺爱 | 
| [17:05] | Come to Mommy. | 妈咪抱抱 | 
| [17:09] | It’s okay, go ahead. | 没事 去吧 | 
| [17:18] | Oh, my son. | 我的儿啊 | 
| [17:22] | Oh, my mother. | 我的娘啊 | 
| [17:25] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 | 
| [17:52] | * It’s a hard-knock life * | * 这艰难的生活 * | 
| [17:56] | * It’s the hard-knock life for us * | * 这是我们艰难的生活 * | 
| [17:59] | * It’s the hard-knock life for us * | * 这是我们艰难的生活 * | 
| [18:02] | * ‘Stead of treated, we get tricked * | * 善待不见 只剩哄骗 * | 
| [18:06] | * ‘Stead of kisses, we get kicked * | * 亲吻不得 屁股挨踹 * | 
| [18:09] | * It’s the hard-knock life * | * 这艰难的生活 * | 
| [18:11] | * Got no folks to speak of so * | * 无人可诉 * | 
| [18:15] | * It’s the hard-knock row we hoe * | * 我们在这艰难的生活中煎熬 * | 
| [18:18] | * Cotton blankets… ‘stead of wool * | * 毛毯没有 棉毯凑 * | 
| [18:21] | * Empty bellies… ‘stead of full * | * 没饭可吃 肚子空 * | 
| [18:24] | * It’s a hard-knock life. * | * 这艰难的生活 * |