| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [01:24] | Jeremy! | 杰瑞米 |
| [01:27] | Uh, I was just gonna see what you’re up to today, | 我本来是想看看你今天有什么打算 |
| [01:29] | but you’re obviously going to work, so. | 不过显然你是要去上班 |
| [01:31] | This is a joke shirt. | 这T恤只是搞笑用的 |
| [01:33] | ‘Cause I’m a trainer. | 我实际上是个教练 |
| [01:36] | Yeah, I sometimes train, um, VIP clients at night. | 我有的时候会在晚上 训练VIP客户 |
| [01:41] | Like Shania… Twain. | 比如仙妮亚·唐恩 |
| [01:44] | And then I come back here during the day | 然后白天回家 |
| [01:47] | and I’m just free to do whatever happens. | 想干嘛就干嘛 |
| [01:49] | Well, I know we don’t know each other that well, | 我知道我们没那么熟 |
| [01:52] | but I’m heading upstate today to pick up some | 但我今天要去北部 |
| [01:54] | salvaged beams from an abandoned barn… | 从一个废弃谷仓里取点浮木梁 |
| [01:56] | And I was just wondering if you… | 想问你可不可以 |
| [01:59] | could sign for a package for me that I’m expecting. | 能帮我签收一下包裹 |
| [02:03] | I mean, only if you’re going to be home anyway. | 当然前提是你本来就要留在家的话 |
| [02:04] | Totally, totally. | 当然可以 |
| [02:06] | Amazing, okay. I’ll leave a note on my door | 太棒了 我会在门上留个纸条 |
| [02:08] | and tell them to drop it off here. | 让他们把东西送到这儿来 |
| [02:09] | The window’s between 10:00 and 4:00. | 配送时间段是10点到4点 |
| [02:11] | – Okay. – I really appreciate it. | -好的 -实在太感谢了 |
| [02:13] | I owe you one. | 欠你个人情 |
| [02:15] | Okay, I love you too. | 我也爱你 |
| [02:17] | I’m sorry, did you just say something? | 不好意思 你刚刚是说了什么吗 |
| [02:19] | No, I think that you said- – you said something to me. | 没有 是你说了 对我说了什么 |
| [02:22] | Yeah, I said, “Can you sign for a package for me | 没错 我说”能不能帮我签收 |
| [02:24] | that I’m expecting,” And then you said… | 我的快递” 然后你说 |
| [02:26] | And then I didn’t- – I don’t think I said anything. | 然后 我没 我没说话 |
| [02:28] | – You’re hearing things, man. – I might be. | -是你幻听了 -可能是吧 |
| [02:30] | You better get those beams. | 你还是赶紧去拿梁吧 |
| [02:33] | You can sign for the package, though, right? | 不过你能帮我签收的 对吧 |
| [02:34] | I can totally do that. | 当然可以 |
| [02:35] | – Okay. – Great signature. | -那好 -我签名很好看 |
| [02:38] | All right, love you too. Oh, my God. | 我也爱你哟 天呐 |
| [02:47] | Ilana? | 阿拉娜 |
| [02:49] | Hey, Ilana. | 嘿 阿拉娜 |
| [02:52] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [02:53] | What time is it? | 几点了 |
| [02:54] | Were you just sleeping with your eyes open? | 你刚是在睁着眼睛睡觉吗 |
| [02:56] | No. | 不是 |
| [02:58] | Of course not. | 当然不是 |
| [02:59] | Um, that would take, like, super long to perfect. | 要精通这个本领需要超久的 |
| [03:04] | Computer’s not on. | 电脑都没开 |
| [03:05] | It’s just idle, I think. It’s not on. | 只是休眠而已 是没开 |
| [03:12] | Look, I need you to read and sign the employee manual. | 我需要你看一下员工手册然后签字 |
| [03:16] | Details a lot of the workplace policies. | 详细说明了很多公司政策 |
| [03:18] | One of them is, um, proper workplace attire. | 其中一条 是合适的工作场所着装 |
| [03:22] | Oh, okay. | 好的 |
| [03:24] | Well, I can just cover this. | 我可以拉上 |
| [03:29] | “Sophie’s Choice.” | “苏菲的选择” |
| [03:33] | It also details our sexual harassment policies. | 里面还说明了性骚扰政策 |
| [03:36] | Got it. Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it. | 明白了 明白 明白 明白 |
| [03:38] | Cool. | 好的 |
| [03:39] | Um, well, I will get right on that, sire. | 我马上就看 陛下 |
| [03:42] | But first, I’m going to take my top- o’- the- morning- dump- to- you. | 但首先 我得去拉个晨屎 |
| [03:45] | – So um, I’ll see you in a couple- – – Couple hours. | -大概几个 -几个小时后见 |
| [03:49] | Yeah, you know, it started as a sore throat, | 一开始是嗓子疼 |
| [03:51] | but I’m feeling really feverish now. | 但现在好像发热了 |
| [03:53] | It’s escalating quickly. | 恶化得很快 |
| [03:56] | A clump of my hair just fell out actually. | 事实上我刚还掉了撮头发 |
| [03:58] | Somebody had an accident in the steam room | 有人在蒸汽浴室里出了点事故 |
| [04:00] | and I kind of want you to handle that. | 我希望你能来处理一下 |
| [04:01] | It’s getting worse as we’re talking. | 我们说话的同时病情在恶化 |
| [04:03] | All right, let’s wheelbarrow, come on. | 好了 我们来做独轮手推车 |
| [04:05] | I really think I should stay home. | 我真的觉得我该留在家 |
| [04:07] | Fine, take the day off, but this is what I want you to do. | 好吧 休息一天 但我希望你照我说的做 |
| [04:09] | Run a quick 5K, sweat it out, then take an eight- minute nap. | 5千米快跑 出点汗 小睡8分钟 |
| [04:12] | Wake up, do a shot of Echinacea, | 醒来 打一剂紫锥菊 |
| [04:14] | and then jump right into an ice bath. | 然后马上冰浴 |
| [04:16] | Immediately after that, suck on some ice chips, | 紧接着 嚼服冰块 |
| [04:18] | then urinate as hard and as fast as you can. | 然后尽你所能地排尿 越快越好 |
| [04:21] | Then eat a full onion, rub that onion underneath your armpits, | 然后吃一个洋葱 在腋下揉搓这个洋葱 |
| [04:24] | any kind of gland, any kind of mucal cavity, okay? | 揉搓任何腺体 任何粘膜腔 好吗 |
| [04:26] | It’s called cellular confusion. | 这叫细胞混乱法 |
| [04:28] | All right, back on that bench, let’s go! | 好了回到板凳上 开始 |
| [04:30] | I’ll give that a try if I can muscle it. | 如果有力气的话我会试试的 |
| [04:33] | And then you just gotta veg. | 你还得放松 |
| [04:34] | They just put all of “Smallville” on Netflix. | 网飞上刚放了全季度《超人前传》 |
| [04:36] | But Abbi, promise me you’ll watch from the beginning, okay? | 但是艾比 答应我从头开始看好吗 |
| [04:38] | It really builds. | 剧情是逐步发展的 |
| [04:39] | – Thanks, Trey. – No problem, Bob, feel better. | -谢了 特雷 -不客气 鲍勃 早日康复 |
| [04:42] | All right, you want your ass tight for reunion or what? | 想不想在同学会上露出翘臀 |
| [04:44] | Finish strong. | 坚持到底 |
| [04:46] | Nice work, Gloria. | 干得不错 格洛丽亚 |
| [04:47] | All right, hit the showers. | 好了 去洗澡吧 |
| [04:53] | Join me in the showers. | 和我一起洗吧 |
| [04:54] | I’m not on my period. | 我不在例假期 |
| [05:02] | – Hello? – Ilana Wexler? | -你好 -是阿拉娜·韦克斯勒吗 |
| [05:04] | Maybe… Who is this? | 可能是吧 你是谁 |
| [05:06] | It’s Linda Lodi, | 我是琳达·洛迪 |
| [05:06] | from the Linda Lodi temp agency. | 琳达·洛迪临时工中介的 |
| [05:08] | Listen, um, I know we haven’t called you in since that whole | 自从冰棒事件以来 |
| [05:11] | – Popsicle incident. – I totally forgot about that. | -我们一直没联系你 -我完全忘了这茬 |
| [05:13] | Would you be available for some temp work this afternoon? | 你今天下午有空做临时工吗 |
| [05:17] | Yeah, I’m available. | 有空 |
| [05:19] | Great, just come over as soon as you can. | 好极了 那尽快过来吧 |
| [05:26] | Ilana, listen, this delivery window starts in like, | 阿拉娜 送货时间还有大概 |
| [05:28] | 20 minutes, I really gotta go. | 20分钟就到了 我得挂了 |
| [05:29] | Okay, one last thing. | 最后一件事 |
| [05:30] | Dude, this is huge. | 姐们 这是很重要的一件事 |
| [05:32] | Not that big of a deal. | 没那么重要 |
| [05:33] | Once you get this package, he’s going to think of you | 一旦你收到了这个包裹 他会认为 |
| [05:35] | – as someone he can trust. – With his mail. | -你是值得托付的人 -托付快递的人 |
| [05:37] | Next thing you know, you’re pregnant with his sperm | 下一步就是 你怀上了他的种 |
| [05:39] | and he’s sanding down your headboard shirtless. | 你们在床上翻云覆雨 |
| [05:42] | I mean, I don’t know if I’d get pregnant like, right away. | 我不觉得我会马上怀孕 |
| [05:43] | I’ve heard from like, lots of women that the sex gets bad | 我从很多女的那里听说 有了小孩之后 |
| [05:45] | – after you have kids. – Totally. | -性生活质量会下降 -没错 |
| [05:47] | We haven’t even had sex once. | 我们还一次都没做过 |
| [05:49] | I just want to, like, make sure we do it enough | 我想在有孩子之前 |
| [05:51] | before I would have a kid, you know? | 能做个够 |
| [05:55] | Even if it didn’t happen exactly like that, like, | 不过就算不能发展成那样 |
| [05:58] | I think this was a huge step for us for real, | 我觉得这也是我们之间的一大步 |
| [06:00] | because he said he owes me one. | 因为他说他欠我个人情 |
| [06:02] | Owes you one? | 欠你的 |
| [06:04] | His dick, dude! | 欠你根老二啊 姐们 |
| [06:06] | You think so? | 你觉得是这个意思 |
| [06:07] | Oh, he’s gonna thank you. | 他会好好感谢你的 |
| [06:09] | So wear that candy thong I got you from Spencer’s. | 你得穿上我在斯宾塞给你买的糖果丁字裤 |
| [06:11] | You ate it like, as soon as you gave it to me. | 你给我的那天就吃掉了 |
| [06:13] | – Listen, I really gotta go. – I gotta let you go, sweetie. | -我真的得挂了 -是得挂了 |
| [06:15] | I’m about to start at this temp job- – Bye bye. | 我要做临时工了 拜拜 |
| [06:20] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [06:21] | I had to take that. | 我必须得接这个电话 |
| [06:22] | You made that call in the middle of our conversation. | 你在我们说话途中打的这个电话 |
| [06:25] | Did I? | 真的吗 |
| [06:27] | I’m really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. | 我真的是黔驴技穷了 |
| [06:29] | Look, my whole staff is out with food poisoning. | 所有员工都因为食物中毒不在 |
| [06:31] | I took them to lunch, | 我带他们出去吃午饭 |
| [06:32] | that sushi place underneath Penn Station. | 就是宾州车站下面的那家寿司店 |
| [06:34] | Oh, I love that place. | 我超爱那地方 |
| [06:35] | Yeah, it’s usually good, right? | 是吧 平时还不错的对吧 |
| [06:36] | Anyway, look, when a call comes in, just check the database, | 总之 有电话来的话 查一下数据库 |
| [06:39] | send out the first person available, and that’s pretty much it. | 派有空的第一个人去 这样就行了 |
| [06:41] | – Got it? – Yeah. | -明白吗 -嗯 |
| [06:42] | Okay, I’m going to leave you on your own. I gotta go get my hair fixed. | 那你就自己负责了 我得去弄头发 |
| [06:45] | Yeah, what happened there? | 你头发怎么了 |
| [06:47] | I tried this new stylist. | 我用了个新的造型师 |
| [06:48] | I said, “Do whatever you want.” | 我说 “你看着办吧” |
| [06:50] | I am way too trusting of strangers. | 我太容易相信陌生人了 |
| [06:52] | Anyway, here’s the keys. | 总之 钥匙给你 |
| [06:54] | I’ll catch you later, okay? | 一会儿见 |
| [06:55] | – Good luck. – Bye. | -祝你好运 -再见 |
| [07:03] | 没人在家 上午9:49 | |
| [07:08] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [07:17] | No, man. Athlete’s foot is a forever thing. | 不是 脚癣是治不好的 |
| [07:20] | Hey, Bevers, you hear the door knock earlier? | 贝弗斯 你之前有听到有人敲门吗 |
| [07:23] | – Mm- hmm. – Why didn’t you answer it? | -听到啦 -那你为什么不开门 |
| [07:25] | I know you don’t like me to answer the door | 你不喜欢我应门 |
| [07:26] | because I don’t technically live here. | 因为我并不实际住在这里 |
| [07:29] | Yeah, you don’t technically live here, | 你的确不实际住在这里 |
| [07:30] | but when I’m not home, feel free to answer the door. | 但我不在家的时候 你可以去应门 |
| [07:33] | It could be something important. | 可能会是要紧的事情 |
| [07:34] | Okay, now we’ve worked that out. | 好的 现在我们讲明白了 |
| [07:36] | Yeah, great. | 那真是好极了 |
| [07:37] | Hi, thanks for holding. | 感谢您的等待 |
| [07:38] | So your package is still on the truck, but you can pick it up | 你的包裹还在运输车上 但你可以 |
| [07:41] | from the distribution center after 4:30. | 在4:30之后去配送中心取 |
| [07:43] | I’m just confused. | 我不明白 |
| [07:44] | Why was the package delivered at 9:49 when the delivery window | 配送时间明明从10点才开始 |
| [07:49] | was supposed to start at 10:00? | 为什么9:49就送来了 |
| [07:51] | It’s a flexible window. | 配送时间是有弹性的 |
| [07:52] | Windows are never flexible. | 配送时间怎么可以弹性 |
| [07:54] | – That’s not how they work. – Sorry. | -不然配送时间还有什么意义 -抱歉 |
| [07:55] | Your borough’s distribution center is on | 你们区的配送中心 |
| [07:58] | – North Brother Island. – Is that in New York? | -在北兄弟岛 -是在纽约吗 |
| [08:00] | I’ve never even heard of that. | 我都没听过 |
| [08:01] | Yes, in the East River. | 在 在东河 |
| [08:03] | Take the 6 train to the last stop | 6号线乘到底 |
| [08:05] | and transfer to the M83 bus to the water taxi. | 转M83路公交到水上公交 |
| [08:07] | – Boom, you’re there. – Thank you, I guess? | -你就到了 -谢谢你了 |
| [08:10] | You’ll never get off the island. | 你就别想下岛了 |
| [08:11] | – What did you just say? – I’m sorry. | -你说什么 -不好意思 |
| [08:13] | I’m watching “Shutter Island.” | 我在看《禁闭岛》 |
| [08:14] | Good luck. | 祝你好运 |
| [08:32] | What up? | 你好 |
| [08:34] | Is this Linda? | 是琳达吗 |
| [08:35] | No, I’m just a temp. | 不 我是临时工 |
| [08:36] | You’re a temp at a temp agency? | 你是在临时工中介工作的临时工 |
| [08:39] | Touche. | 讲得好 |
| [08:41] | – What up? – This is Wet Nose Walkers. | -什么事 -这里是湿鼻子宠物饲养 |
| [08:43] | We need a temp to cover one of our dog walker routes. | 我们需要一个遛狗临时工 |
| [08:45] | Absolutely, sir, that’s what we do best. | 没问题 先生 这是我们最擅长的 |
| [08:50] | What’s the address? | 地点在哪里 |
| [08:59] | I’m making bank, bitch! | 我在赚大钱了 贱人 |
| [09:02] | Oh, my God. You are insane. | 天呐 疯了吧你 |
| [09:04] | Ab, I’m becoming a mogul a la Jay- Z, | 小艾 我成了大人物 就像杰斯 |
| [09:06] | a la Martha Stewart, | 就像玛莎·斯图尔特 |
| [09:08] | a la Bethenny Frankel. | 就像贝思尼·弗兰克尔 |
| [09:09] | – From “Housewives”? – Yeah. | -《真正的纽约家庭主妇》那个 -对 |
| [09:11] | Next thing you know, I’m backstage at Barclays | 要不了多久 我就会在巴克莱中心球馆后台 |
| [09:12] | – with RiRi and Bebe- – Who? | -和日日还有碧碧一起 -谁 |
| [09:14] | Rihanna and Beyonce. | 蕾哈娜和碧昂丝 |
| [09:15] | And we’re just laughing and sipping on champagne | 我们谈笑风生 啜饮香槟 |
| [09:17] | – with like, candlelight. – ‘Cause that happens all the time. | -旁边燃着烛火 -这场景真熟悉 |
| [09:20] | RiRi leans in for a kiss and then she- – | 日日靠过来索吻 然后她 |
| [09:22] | – Goes down on you. – Yeah. | -口了你 -没错 |
| [09:24] | Yeah, you- – you say that story a lot. | 你 经常讲这个故事 |
| [09:28] | Oh, my God! | 天呐 |
| [09:30] | – I didn’t know you had plans with Lincoln. – We don’t have plans. | -我不知道你约了林肯 -我没约他 |
| [09:33] | We’re just going to have sex at one of these dogs’ apartments. | 我们只是要在某个狗的屋子里做爱 |
| [09:34] | Super classy. | 有格调 |
| [09:36] | I’d do it. | 我愿意 |
| [09:37] | I’d pick up your poop, you’re worth it. | 我愿意为你铲屎 你值得我这么做 |
| [09:39] | So I know why I missed the window. | 我知道我是怎么错过配送时间的了 |
| [09:41] | – I jinxed myself. – Why, what do you mean? | -我活该 -为什么 |
| [09:42] | ‘Cause I bought too many condoms. | 因为我买太多安全套了 |
| [09:43] | It’s the story of my life, so just gonna deal with it. | 这就是我的人生 我不得不面对它 |
| [09:46] | But I won’t make out with you. | 但我不会和你亲热的 |
| [09:47] | That’s what white people do, that dog thing. | 白人会这样 和狗做 |
| [09:49] | Black people don’t make out with dogs. | 黑人不这样 |
| [09:50] | So what do you think is in Jeremy’s package? | 你觉得杰瑞米的包裹里是什么 |
| [09:53] | Oh , look at you. You’re standoffish, huh? | 瞧你 真不友好 |
| [09:55] | I’ve narrowed it down to a bunch of things. | 我把范围缩小到几样东西 |
| [09:57] | I made a little list here. | 列了个单子 |
| [09:58] | Okay, so I think it’s either, um, clues to a mystery | 我觉得可能是 他用来 |
| [10:01] | that he’s gonna solve, | 解谜的线索 |
| [10:03] | a manly handcrafted axe, | 体现男子气概的手工制作的斧头 |
| [10:05] | or a really great belt. | 或者是条上等的皮带 |
| [10:07] | Nah, dude, it’s a Fleshlight. | 不是 其实是震动棒 |
| [10:09] | Ilana, why do you have to ruin him for me? | 阿拉娜 你怎么老在我面前毁他形象 |
| [10:11] | It’s not a Fleshlight. | 不是震动棒 |
| [10:12] | It’s healthy. | 是健康向上的东西 |
| [10:14] | I gotta head back to the office. | 我得回办公室了 |
| [10:16] | One of these dumb kids broke his jaw on a Jawbreaker. | 有个傻孩子吃碎颚硬糖吃坏了下巴 |
| [10:18] | Why would you even do that? | 为什么要这么做 |
| [10:20] | It does exactly what it says it’s gonna do. | 都告诉你是碎颚硬糖了 |
| [10:22] | Lincoln, you gave all these dogs all your love and now you’re | 林肯 你把你的爱都给了这些狗狗 |
| [10:24] | leaving me like, tight and dry. | 留下一个又紧又干的我 |
| [10:25] | – I’ll kick it with you later. – Okay, cool. | -等会儿再来疼你 -好 |
| [10:27] | See you later, General Tso. | 再见 曹将军 |
| [10:28] | Is that his name? | 是它的名字吗 |
| [10:30] | Yeah, I name them based on their personalities. | 对 我以他们的个性给他们取了名字 |
| [10:31] | There’s General Tso, there’s Dumbface. | 这是曹将军 这是傻样 |
| [10:34] | That’s Ballsack, | 这是阴囊 |
| [10:36] | and that is star of “Ugly Betty” | 那是《丑女贝蒂》 |
| [10:39] | and “Who’s the Boss?” | 和《成长没烦恼》的演员 |
| [10:41] | The wonderful, the esteemed… | 美妙的 受人敬仰的 |
| [10:45] | Judith Light! | 朱迪斯·莱特 |
| [10:46] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [10:48] | She is! | 真的是 |
| [10:49] | – That’s so Judith! – That is dead on! | -太像朱迪斯了 -一模一样 |
| [10:51] | All right, I’ll see y’all later. | 好了 待会儿见 |
| [10:53] | – All right, peace. – Later, Judith. | -再见 -再见 朱迪斯 |
| [10:54] | Judith, now that I know that you are Judith Light, | 朱迪斯 现在我知道你的身份了 |
| [10:56] | I can’t let you back in that tiny- ass apartment. | 绝对不能让你住回那小公寓里了 |
| [10:58] | We’ll drop these bitches off and you’re chilling with me all day. | 我们把这些小婊子们都撇下 今天就我们俩玩 |
| [11:09] | Last stop in Manhattan. | 曼哈顿最后一站 |
| [11:10] | The train will now be going express to 37th Street. | 此列车将快速抵达第37街 |
| [11:12] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [12:16] | Uh, hello… | 你好 |
| [12:19] | Garol. | 卡罗 |
| [12:20] | I’m not sure if I’m in the right place- – | 我不确定我是不是来对了 |
| [12:22] | – You are. – Okay. | -你来对了 -好吧 |
| [12:25] | I’ll just hand that- – All right. | 这个给你 好吧 |
| [12:32] | Oh, Jesus. Thank you so much. | 天呐 太感谢你了 |
| [12:34] | – It took me so long- – – ID. | -我花了好长时间 -身份证 |
| [12:37] | Jeremy Santos. | 杰瑞米·桑托斯 |
| [12:38] | No, I’m not a man. | 不 我不是男的 |
| [12:41] | Jeremy’s actually my- – he’s my husband. | 杰瑞米其实是 我老公 |
| [12:46] | So. | 所以 |
| [12:46] | We both work so much. | 我们工作很忙 |
| [12:47] | You know how it is. | 所以你懂的 |
| [12:49] | But when we’re home, we’re home and we- – | 但在家的时候 我们就 |
| [12:51] | I need his ID or he can come down here | 必须要有他的证件 或者他自己来 |
| [12:55] | with two pieces of mail with his name on it. | 带上两件有他名字的快递 |
| [12:59] | Gar… ol, you seem like, so great. | 卡罗 你看上去人很好 |
| [13:03] | I can just tell from this interaction. | 从我们简单对话中能看出来 |
| [13:06] | Can you just like, look the other way this time? | 能不能 这次网开一面 |
| [13:08] | I’m sorry, I can’t. | 抱歉 不能 |
| [13:10] | My supervisor’s watching. | 我的上级在看 |
| [13:17] | I’m sorry, I will have someone there right away. | 抱歉 我会马上派人过去 |
| [13:20] | Linda Lodi Temp Agency, please hold. | 琳达·洛迪临时工中介 请稍等 |
| [13:21] | – Hey. – Where have you been? | -嘿 -你去哪儿了 |
| [13:23] | I’ve got no temps sent out, I’ve got the phone ringing | 临时工都没派出去 电话不停地响 |
| [13:25] | off the hook, I’m getting threatening e- mails. | 还收到恐吓邮件 |
| [13:27] | My scalp is burning. | 我头都大了 |
| [13:31] | What are you doing? Have you been eating those? | 你在干嘛 你是一直在吃那个吗 |
| [13:33] | – Yeah. – How many have you had? | -是啊 -吃了几个 |
| [13:34] | 30 or like, 100. | 30 或者100个吧 |
| [13:36] | 30 or 100? | 30或者100 |
| [13:38] | These are for a guess- how- many contest! | 这是”猜猜有几个”比赛用的 |
| [13:41] | Well, you should label every side. | 你该给每一面都写标签 |
| [13:43] | Well, now I have to count the whole thing over again. | 我得重数一遍了 |
| [13:45] | I don’t believe this. | 不敢相信 |
| [13:46] | You don’t even know how many you had? | 你都不知道吃了几个 |
| [13:48] | Jesus, what a day. | 我的天呐 |
| [13:50] | 1 2 3 4 5 One, two, three, four, five. | |
| [13:52] | -10 -6 7 8 9 10 – Ten. – Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. | |
| [13:54] | -15 -5 6 7 8 9 -17 18 – 15… – five, six, seven, eight, nine… – 17, 18… | |
| [13:58] | You’re messing me up. | 你在瞎捣乱 |
| [13:59] | Now I have to start over. | 又要从头数 |
| [14:01] | 1 2 3 4 5 One, two, three, four, five. | |
| [14:04] | Oh, my God, I killed her! | 天呐 我杀了她 |
| [14:07] | Judith Light! | 朱迪斯·莱特 |
| [14:10] | 59 60 … 59, 60. | |
| [14:15] | – Hello? – Bevers. | -你好 -贝弗斯 |
| [14:17] | I need you to steal two pieces of Jeremy’s mail from like, | 我需要你去偷两件杰瑞米的快递 |
| [14:19] | the front hall and bring them to North Brother Island | 从大厅带来北兄弟岛 |
| [14:22] | like, immediately, okay? | 现在马上 明白吗 |
| [14:24] | And then you’re going to have to pretend to be him. | 然后你得假装自己是他 |
| [14:25] | I’d love to, but I’m actually out with some friends right now. | 我很乐意 但我现在在外面和朋友们一起 |
| [14:29] | You’re not in the apartment? | 你不在家 |
| [14:30] | No, we’re on the same schedule. | 不在 我们现在同步了 |
| [14:31] | If you’re not there, I’m not there. | 你出门的话 我也出门 |
| [14:33] | When you’re there, I’m there. | 你回家了 我也回家 |
| [14:35] | Okay, just shut up, listen. | 闭嘴 听着 |
| [14:36] | If you do this for me right now, I’m gonna… | 如果你能现在帮我 我就 |
| [14:40] | I will buy you a Costco rotisserie chicken. | 我就给你买好市多电烤鸡 |
| [14:43] | Uh, sold. | 成交 |
| [14:45] | I’ll head over as soon as I finish my mimosa. | 喝完含羞草我就来 |
| [14:49] | Jesus Christ. | 老天 |
| [14:54] | Oh, my God, Judith. | 我的天 朱迪斯 |
| [14:56] | We induced vomiting, he’s gonna be fine. | 催吐之后 它会好的 |
| [14:58] | – He? – Yeah. | -公的 -是的 |
| [14:59] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [15:01] | I looked for his dick forever. | 我浑身上下找他的小鸡鸡就是没找到 |
| [15:03] | All that hair. | 毛发太旺盛了 |
| [15:04] | Well, he’s probably stressed from the day. | 这一天来他应该累了 |
| [15:07] | Do you guys have dog Xanax? | 你们有狗用的镇静剂吗 |
| [15:09] | For him, Judith Light. | 当然是给朱迪斯·莱特用的 |
| [15:10] | – We do, but I don’t think it’s necessary. – Cool. | -有 但它用不着 -好吧 |
| [15:12] | If I wrapped it up in a piece of cheese for him to eat | 如果我把药放进奶酪里给他吃 |
| [15:14] | and then I accidentally swallowed that piece of cheese, | 但是我自己不小心吃了 |
| [15:18] | would I die or be like, super chill? | 那我会不会死 还是会超镇静 |
| [15:21] | I’m not going to prescribe you dog Xanax. | 我不会给你开狗镇静剂的 |
| [15:23] | Oh, no. | 不是 |
| [15:25] | No, I didn’t mean- – No. | 我不是说 |
| [15:26] | I see how- – No, no, no. Cool. | 我明白 不不不 好的 |
| [15:29] | One last quick “Q.” | 最后一个小问题 |
| [15:32] | Um, are human hemorrhoids the same as dog hemorrhoids, | 人的痔疮和狗的痔疮一样吗 |
| [15:35] | and if so, does dog hemorrhoid cream work | 如果一样 狗的痔疮膏 |
| [15:39] | on human buttholes? | 对人管用吗 |
| [15:45] | No. | 没用 |
| [15:50] | Yeah, I got here as soon as I could. | 我尽快赶来了 |
| [15:52] | How did you get a cab to come here? | 你怎么叫到车来的 |
| [15:54] | The Whitestone Bridge is right over there. | 白石大桥就在那儿 |
| [15:57] | Okay, come on, let’s go. | 好了 走吧 |
| [15:58] | Do you have 70 bucks to pay the driver? | 你有70块车费吗 |
| [16:02] | Remember, you’re my husband, Jeremy Santos. | 记住了 你是我老公杰瑞米·桑托斯 |
| [16:04] | Right. Got it. | 明白 明白 |
| [16:06] | I’m not your roommate’s boyfriend, I’m your husband. | 我不是你室友的男朋友 我是你老公 |
| [16:10] | Don’t worry. I’ll do it good. | 别担心 我会好好表现的 |
| [16:13] | – But don’t tell Melody. – Tell Melody what? | -但别告诉梅洛迪 -告诉她什么 |
| [16:20] | Oh, God. | 天呐 |
| [16:23] | That was a great… | 真是个 |
| [16:26] | that was a great kiss from my husband. | 真是个来自我老公的超棒的吻 |
| [16:28] | Garol, hi. | 卡罗你好 |
| [16:29] | So this is Jeremy, my husband I told you about earlier. | 这是杰瑞米 之前跟你说的我老公 |
| [16:33] | You’re Jeremy Santos. | 你是杰瑞米·桑托斯 |
| [16:36] | No, I’m Matty Bevers. | 不 我是马蒂·贝弗斯 |
| [16:42] | No, Abbi, don’t! | 不 艾比 |
| [16:43] | No, no, no, I’m gonna lose a flip flop! | 不 我的人字拖会掉的 |
| [16:45] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | 不不不不不 |
| [16:47] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | 不不不不不 |
| [16:49] | No, no, no, no! | 不不不不不 |
| [16:51] | Chicken! | 烤鸡 |
| [17:00] | You know, it’s really not cool to have such a big dog | 让这么大的狗住在这么小的房间里 |
| [17:03] | in such a tiny apartment all day. | 这样真的很不酷诶 |
| [17:04] | It’s irresponsible, to tell you the truth. | 实话讲 这很不负责任 |
| [17:07] | That is not my dog. | 这不是我的狗 |
| [17:09] | My dog is a teacup Yorkie named Cherish. | 我的狗是一只叫雪蕊诗的茶杯约克夏 |
| [17:11] | Where is Cherish? | 雪蕊诗去哪儿了 |
| [17:15] | If the Yorkie belongs here, then the retriever should have gone | 如果约克夏是这家的 那猎犬应该 |
| [17:18] | to the place above the liquor store. | 是贩酒店楼上那家的 |
| [17:23] | I see what I did. This is so me, dude. | 我懂了 这太符合我的风格了 老兄 |
| [17:26] | All the dogs are off by one. | 所有的狗都送差了一家 |
| [17:28] | Oh, my God. The Chihuahua should be in the the loft. | 我的天 吉娃娃应该是阁楼那家 |
| [17:30] | Which means you should be in Chinatown, Judith Light. | 说明你该是唐人街的 朱迪斯·莱特 |
| [17:33] | Oh, man. No worries, dude, Cherish is totally fine. | 天呐 别担心 雪蕊诗好着呢 |
| [17:37] | She’s just in a tenement building on Avenue D. | 它在D大道的出租屋里 |
| [17:39] | I’ll have her back in one… closer to three hours. | 我会在一 三小时内带它回来 |
| [17:45] | Cherish! | 雪蕊诗 |
| [17:51] | No, Mom, it was good. Yeah, it was good. | 没事 妈我挺好的 挺好的 |
| [17:54] | I actually drew today, all day. | 我画了一整天画 |
| [17:57] | I gotta go- – I love you. | 挂了 爱你 |
| [17:59] | Okay, talk to you later, bye. | 回聊 拜拜 |
| [18:01] | Abbi, it’s fine. | 艾比 没关系的 |
| [18:03] | I just think you owe me an apology. | 只是你还欠我一个道歉 |
| [18:05] | Are you kidding me? | 你在逗我吗 |
| [18:06] | You owe me an apology. | 你才欠我一个道歉 |
| [18:07] | Well, you did ruin a perfectly good chicken. | 你毁了一只完美的鸡 |
| [18:10] | It’s a rotisserie chicken. | 就是只电烤鸡 |
| [18:12] | – You can get one anywhere. – What does it matter how it’s prepared? | -哪里都买得到 -怎么做的不重要 |
| [18:14] | You know what, Bevers? | 贝弗斯 |
| [18:15] | You need to like, just shut up right now | 你该立刻马上闭嘴 |
| [18:17] | because I can’t even handle this. | 因为我要受不了了 |
| [18:18] | You got me to commit a federal offense today. | 你教唆我犯下联邦犯罪 |
| [18:21] | We borrowed neighbor’s mail to go get a neighbor’s package. | 我们只是借用邻居的快递来拿回他的包裹 |
| [18:24] | You were not a good kisser. | 你的接吻技术不怎么样 |
| [18:25] | You messed up my entire thing today. | 你搞砸了整件事 |
| [18:28] | – I think we should talk. – We’re talking right now. | -我觉得我们得聊聊 -这不聊着呢 |
| [18:30] | I think what needs to happen is you need to go home | 我觉得最应该的事情是你该回家 |
| [18:33] | – ’cause you don’t live here. – What? | -因为你不住这儿 -什么 |
| [18:35] | You need to grab all your little flip flops | 带着你那些人字拖 |
| [18:36] | and all your socks and you need to get out. | 和袜子搬走 |
| [18:40] | Jesus, what? | 老天 什么事 |
| [18:42] | Jeremy. | 杰瑞米 |
| [18:44] | Okay, I don’t have the package. I don’t have it. | 我没拿到包裹 不在我这儿 |
| [18:46] | They came here and then I wasn’t here and then | 他们来的时候我不在 |
| [18:48] | I had to go to the island to get it | 然后我不得不跑去岛上拿 |
| [18:50] | and there was this woman there and she was eating all this | 那里有个女的一直在吃她那什么酸奶 |
| [18:52] | yogurt and she wouldn’t give it to me ’cause | 然后又不肯给我 |
| [18:53] | I didn’t have your ID. | 因为我没你的身份证 |
| [18:54] | – I don’t have an ID of yours. – It’s okay. | -我没有你的身份证 -没事的 |
| [18:57] | I’m sorry. It’s not her fault. It’s mine. | 抱歉 不是她的错 是我的错 |
| [18:59] | I didn’t get the door when the delivery came. | 快递来的时候我没应门 |
| [19:01] | Abbi actually tried really hard to get your package today. | 艾比很努力地去拿你的快递了 |
| [19:05] | Abbi, I didn’t mean for you to go through so much trouble. | 艾比 我没想那么麻烦你的 |
| [19:07] | It’s no big deal. | 不是什么要紧的事 |
| [19:08] | Listen, man, I’m going to be here all day tomorrow | 我明天会一整天待在这儿 |
| [19:11] | and the day after that, all day. | 后天也是 一整天待着 |
| [19:13] | Day after that, all day. | 后天也一整天 |
| [19:15] | So I can sign for your package, no problem. | 我可以帮你签收你的包裹的 |
| [19:18] | Fantastic, man, I appreciate that. | 太棒了 兄弟 多谢 |
| [19:20] | – I owe you dinner, okay? – Oh, you don’t- – Yeah, okay. | -我请你吃晚饭 -不用 也行吧 |
| [19:23] | – It’ll be fun. – I got a lot of planks I gotta unload, so… | -会很有意思的 -我有很多木板要卸 |
| [19:25] | – All right. – But I’ll see you guys later? | -好的 -不过回见 |
| [19:27] | – Yeah. – Okay. | -当然 -好的 |
| [19:28] | Just whenever. | 随时 |
| [19:33] | I thought he would never leave. | 我以为他不会走了 |
| [19:40] | Thank God you got this toilet paper, Abbi. | 还好你买了厕纸 艾比 |
| [19:44] | Oh, I totally missed, Abbi! | 我错过包裹了 |
| [19:50] | The graphics are sick. | 那些图像超酷的 |
| [19:52] | You can really see like, the life | 你可以真的从那人的眼睛里 |
| [19:53] | drain out of the guy’s eyes- – It’s pretty cool. | 看到生命消失殆尽 很酷 |
| [19:56] | – I’d love to come over and play sometime. – I wish. | -有空我来找你玩 -我也希望 |
| [19:58] | Abbi really doesn’t like it when I have friends over. | 但艾比不喜欢我带朋友来玩 |
| [20:01] | – I’ll come to your place? – Absolutely. | -我去你那儿 -当然好 |
| [20:03] | I’ll make my special rotisserie chicken. | 我可以做我的独家电烤鸡 |
| [20:05] | 21 seasonings salute. | 21种调味料 |
| [20:07] | Dude. | 老兄 |
| [20:08] | How are you still single? | 你怎么会是单身 |
| [20:10] | It’s just hard to meet girls in this city. | 在城里碰见合适的姑娘太难了 |
| [20:12] | Dude, you gotta know someone you can set me up with. | 你有什么认识的人可以介绍给我吗 |
| [20:18] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [20:21] | No, I don’t. | 还真没有 |
| [20:24] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [20:29] | So this mole has grown like, 10 times bigger in the last year. | 这颗痣在去年大概长大了10倍 |
| [20:32] | – Should I be worried? – Please. | -我应该担心吗 -拜托 |
| [20:33] | There’s a cat I need to put to sleep. | 我得去安乐死一只猫 |
| [20:36] | Okay, but could you just touch it really quickly? | 但你能简单看一下吗 |
| [20:38] | Am I thin? Like, for a dog? | 我算瘦吗 以狗的标准来说 |
| [20:41] | Well, the cat’s dead. | 猫死了 |
| [20:43] | Let’s do this. | 那来看看吧 |
| [20:45] | Wow, these hemorrhoids really are bad. | 你的痔疮真的有点严重 |
| [20:47] | I know. I spend way too much time on the toilet. | 是啊 我在厕所呆太久了 |
| [20:50] | Thanks. You know, I just can’t even control myself. | 谢了 我不能控制我自己 |
| [20:53] | Well, this should do the trick. | 这应该有用 |
| [20:54] | Now remember, no scratching. | 记住了 不准抓 |
| [20:57] | Thanks again. | 再次感谢 |
| [21:13] | Oh God. | 天呐 |