| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Evening, hot chocolate. | 晚上好 巧克力帅哥 |
| [00:05] | Max, we got big trouble from little China. | 麦克斯 小中国惹大麻烦了 |
| [00:08] | Hi, Max. | 你好 麦克斯 |
| [00:10] | Big trouble? | “大”麻烦吗 |
| [00:11] | There’s nothing big about him. | 瞧他那”小”样 |
| [00:12] | He looks like I won him in a bear claw machine. | 就跟夹娃娃机的娃娃差不多大 |
| [00:16] | Max, what is the worst sentence you ever want to hear | 麦克斯 你最不想从阿憨的嘴里 |
| [00:18] | come out of Han’s mouth? | 听到哪句话 |
| [00:20] | I got you pregnant? | 我把你肚子搞大了 |
| [00:24] | Come on, bad, bad. | 拜托 更惨绝人寰一点 |
| [00:26] | I got you pregnant again? | 我把你的肚子又搞大了一次 |
| [00:29] | I’m putting in karaoke. | 是”我要装卡拉0K” |
| [00:31] | No! No! | 不 不行 |
| [00:35] | Han… | 憨 |
| [00:36] | Those guys better be up there | 那些家伙之所以在上面 |
| [00:37] | because we’re officially putting ass crack on the menu. | 最好是因为我们要把”股沟”加进餐单 |
| [00:42] | I am adding a TV to bring in more customers. | 我装电视是为了要吸引顾客 |
| [00:45] | We can have theme nights, Ultimate Fighting nights, | 我们可以举办主题之夜 如终极格斗之夜 |
| [00:48] | Real Desperate Housewives of Bravo City nights, | 正宗绝望主妇之夜 |
| [00:50] | and best of all, | 最棒的是 |
| [00:52] | karaoke night. | 卡拉OK之夜 |
| [00:54] | You can’t get hipsters on microphone. | 给嬉皮士麦克风可是大忌 |
| [00:56] | That’s like throwing gasoline on a pretentious fire. | 那是在火上浇油 助纣为虐 |
| [01:01] | Hipsters like karaoke. | 嬉皮士喜欢卡拉OK呢 |
| [01:03] | Replace the word “like” with the word “Hitler” | 句子换成 嬉皮士”希特勒”卡拉OK |
| [01:06] | and you got the three worst things in history. | 史上最烂的三样人事物就大团圆了 |
| [01:09] | Max, I hear what you say, but | 麦克斯 我懂你的意思 但是 |
| [01:12] | * Everybody else say “he-ey!” * | * 大家一起来欢呼 * |
| [01:14] | * Where are my single ladies! * | * 单身女性站起来 * |
| [01:29] | Okay. Next person is going to sing Teenage Dream by Katy Perry, | 好 下一位将演唱凯蒂·佩里的《少女梦》 |
| [01:33] | who is pretty now but used to have very horrible acne. | 大美女凯蒂以前可是痤疮大丑女呢 |
| [01:37] | This is the third Teenage Dream in 45 minutes. | 短短的45分钟里 我都听了三遍《少女梦》了 |
| [01:40] | Why don’t I just close my nuts in the cashier’s drawer? | 我用收银机夹暴自己蛋蛋都没这么难受呢 |
| [01:45] | Come on up now, girl named “Stacey.” | 上场吧 史黛丝小姐 |
| [01:48] | I got this. | 这事儿交给我吧 |
| [01:50] | Look, I don’t know you, but I like you. | 虽然我不认识你 但我对你有好感 |
| [01:52] | And I respect both hair choices. | 我也很尊重你发型的”二”样化 |
| [01:55] | I hate karaoke. | 我恨死卡拉OK了 |
| [01:57] | I can’t afford to have any more hate in my head. | 我脑袋里 憎恨已经满档 |
| [01:59] | My hate is at capacity. | 恨意一触即发 |
| [02:02] | Sit this one out, I’ll comp your cobbler. | 你不献唱 我就送你个水果派 |
| [02:07] | What did you do? | 你这是干嘛 |
| [02:09] | I saved Earl’s nuts. | 拯救厄尔快疼爆的蛋蛋 |
| [02:13] | Pick up! Hot food. Pick up. | 上菜 美味出炉 快上菜 |
| [02:16] | Calm your bells down, Oleg. | 别对我猛按铃 奥列格 |
| [02:17] | Not my stations. | 不是我服务的区 |
| [02:18] | Where’s Caroline? | 卡洛琳呢 |
| [02:19] | Would it make you jealous if I said | 如果我说她刚和我在后边 |
| [02:21] | she was back here with me? | “激情”了一番 你会吃醋吗 |
| [02:24] | Jealous? No. | 吃醋倒不会 |
| [02:25] | Pissed? Probably. | 生气是肯定的 |
| [02:26] | Because we’re busy and it would take me all that time | 店里超忙 我还要花时间解开 |
| [02:28] | to get the duct tape off her mouth and hands. | 你用来捆绑她以逞兽欲的胶布 |
| [02:32] | What are you doin’ in here, snow white? | 你在里面干嘛呢 白雪公主 |
| [02:34] | If you’re lookin’ for one of your dwarves, | 如果想找你的小矮人 |
| [02:35] | he’s out there, holding the mic. | 其中一只在外面拿着麦克风呢 |
| [02:37] | Look, my bite is off. | 瞧 我的咬合错位了 |
| [02:39] | See, I did the bite test. | 这是我做的咬合检查 |
| [02:40] | The number seven incisor is crossing over number nine. | 第七号牙和第九号牙重叠了 |
| [02:42] | Hold up. You know the names of your teeth? | 慢着 你还知道自己牙齿的编号名吗 |
| [02:44] | Don’t you? | 你不知道吗 |
| [02:45] | I don’t even know the name of my father. | 我连我亲爹的名字都不知道 |
| [02:48] | Ow, I just bit my tongue. | 哎哟 我刚咬到舌头了 |
| [02:50] | Ah! Number 12 just joined the party. | 第十二号也来瞎搅和了 |
| [02:53] | I’d stop doing that right now. | 快停止你这举动 |
| [03:03] | You just made it into Oleg’s spank bank. | 你这一幕被存进奥列格的意淫银行了 |
| [03:07] | Congratulations. | 恭喜你哟 |
| [03:12] | What am I gonna do without my bite guard? | 牙齿保持器没了 我还怎么活啊 |
| [03:14] | My teeth don’t know where to go. | 我的牙会到处乱跑的 |
| [03:16] | Well, maybe they should just backpack for a couple of years, | 就让它们去旅行个几年 找到人生方向 |
| [03:18] | so they figure it out. | 就不会乱跑了 |
| [03:21] | Listen, perfect teeth, | 听好了 美牙妹 |
| [03:23] | this is a nightmare for me. | 这是我人生中的恶梦 |
| [03:24] | The technical term for this is “advanced bruxism.” | 用专业术语来说就是”中重度磨牙症” |
| [03:27] | And the technical term for you is “overly dramatic.” | 专业术语来说 你有”过度小题大做症” |
| [03:29] | Yesterday you freaked out ’cause we were out of toilet paper. | 昨天家里没厕纸你就哭天喊地 |
| [03:32] | Just hold it till you get to work like everybody else. | 憋到上班的时候再上就好啦 大家都这样 |
| [03:37] | Now, maybe I sing while others wait. | 趁大家在等餐 我来献唱一曲吧 |
| [03:40] | Uh-oh. We got real problems now. | 完蛋 这才是真正的麻烦 |
| [03:42] | I choose Susan Boyle popular song | 我从苏珊大妈的网络剪辑中 |
| [03:44] | from all clips on Internet. | 选出了一首她的成名曲 |
| [03:45] | It’s called I Dream– | 名叫《我曾有梦》 |
| [03:50] | Keep dreaming. | 做你的白日梦吧 |
| [03:59] | Oh, you’re back. | 你回来啦 |
| [04:00] | We thought you ran away. | 我们还以为你逃家了呢 |
| [04:02] | Chestnut and I were just about to pick out | 我和栗宝都准备要去收容所 |
| [04:04] | another human from the shelter. | 再捡个人回来养了 |
| [04:07] | I had quite a day. | 今天倒霉死了 |
| [04:08] | 8:00 to 10:00… Grind, grind, pain. | 八点至十点 磨 磨 疼 |
| [04:10] | 10:00 to 11:00… Pain, pain, grind. | 十点至十一点 疼 疼 磨 |
| [04:12] | So I went to the drug store | 所以我去药店 |
| [04:13] | and bought an $8 bite guard, | 买了个八块钱的牙齿保持器 |
| [04:15] | which didn’t fit my freaky Tim Burton mouth. | 结果不合我恐怖片般的牙型 |
| [04:17] | And when I tried to return it, | 后来我去退货的时候 |
| [04:19] | the cashier, Rhonda, | 那个收银员 朗达 |
| [04:20] | whose nametag said she was happy to help, | 虽然胸牌上写着”乐于服务顾客” |
| [04:22] | but who was neither happy nor helpful, | 结果却凶巴巴的 还百般刁难我 |
| [04:24] | said that I couldn’t return it | 她说不能退货 |
| [04:26] | because it had already touched my “teef.” | 因为这玩意儿已经接触过我的牙”翅”了 |
| [04:29] | For someone whose jaw is about to unhinge, | 作为一个下巴快掉的人 |
| [04:31] | you’re sure flapping it a lot. | 你怎么还不少说点话 |
| [04:34] | Why is this rag with my father on it here? | 为什么这有份写我老爸的小报 |
| [04:37] | Don’t look at me. Chestnut bought it. | 瞪我干嘛 是栗宝买的 |
| [04:40] | He likes it when I read him his daily horse-oscope. | 他喜欢我给他念每日星”马”座 |
| [04:44] | Why is everybody so obsessed with the fact that | 为什么大家都要对他的闭口不谈 |
| [04:46] | he hasn’t said anything? | 穷追猛打呢 |
| [04:47] | Haven’t you ever been at a loss for words? | 你没有过卡壳并无言以对的时候吗 |
| [04:49] | Tampons, yes. Words, nah. | 卡棉条有过 卡壳倒不会 |
| [04:53] | Well, this will make me feel better. | 来做件让自己好受些的事 |
| [04:55] | Whenever I’m in pain, I need a treat. | 每当我痛苦时 我就得享受一下 |
| [04:57] | You know, whenever you’re in pain, that is my treat. | 每当你痛苦时 我都超级享受 |
| [05:01] | Sushi! I hope you like crab roll. | 寿司 希望你会喜欢蟹卷 |
| [05:04] | I never had sushi. | 我从来没吃过寿司 |
| [05:06] | That doesn’t even make sense. | 这根本是是胡扯中的鬼扯 |
| [05:09] | No sushi, no dentist… Who are you? | 没吃过寿司 没看过牙 什么人啊这是 |
| [05:13] | A poor person. | 穷人 |
| [05:17] | Sushi’s lazy. | 寿司没点技术含量 |
| [05:18] | If I come to your restaurant, | 要是我去日本餐厅 |
| [05:20] | get up off your ass and cook the damn fish. | 一定吼他们去把鱼给我煮熟了 |
| [05:23] | I wish we could afford to go to this little sushi place | 真希望我们能有钱去 |
| [05:26] | in Tribeca where my father always took me. | 我爸以前常带我去的日本小餐馆 |
| [05:28] | We had this little joke. | 每次我们进店里 |
| [05:30] | Every time we’d walk in, I’d always say… | 都会开同一个玩笑 我总会说 |
| [05:31] | 麻烦一下 再来一份上等Toro すみません もう少し大トロお願いします | |
| [05:35] | And we would just laugh! | 然后我们就捧腹大笑 |
| [05:40] | So you’re not funny in Japanese either. | 所以你说日语也还是冷场女皇 |
| [05:43] | I got this at a corner deli. | 我在转角的熟食店买的 |
| [05:45] | The cashier was Japanese. | 那个收银员是个日本人 |
| [05:46] | She said it was good. | 她说这个很好吃 |
| [05:47] | Oh, I’m sure it’s great. | 肯定是真的啊 |
| [05:49] | ‘Cause the disenfranchised immigrant | 因为无公民权利的移民人士 |
| [05:51] | serving the spoiled white girl | 服务被宠坏的白人女孩时 |
| [05:52] | would have no reason to lie. | 肯定不会骗她 |
| [05:54] | Get ready for something heavenly! | 享受美味到上天堂的感觉吧 |
| [06:01] | That’s not heaven. | 难吃到下地狱 |
| [06:03] | Spit it out. | 快吐出来 |
| [06:06] | What a disappointment. | 真是太不济了 |
| [06:07] | Your first time. | 你的第一次就这么毁了 |
| [06:09] | Well, that’s kinda the way it goes with me and first times. | 我的”第一次”都是这种下场 |
| [06:13] | Here, clean yourself off. | 给 把身上擦擦干净 |
| [06:15] | That’s exactly the way it goes! | 简直是历史重演 一模一样 |
| [06:27] | It’s not that bad. | 没那么糟 |
| [06:29] | It’s not that bad. It’s not that bad. | 没那么糟 真没那么糟 |
| [06:31] | No. | 没错 |
| [06:32] | For a dentist office in the subway, | 地铁站里的牙科诊所 |
| [06:34] | it’s pretty good. | 这家算是”不错”了 |
| [06:36] | Seriously, how are you not running out of here? | 说真的 你怎么还不夺门而逃啊 |
| [06:39] | I have no choice. | 我别无选择 |
| [06:40] | Now that I have no money or health insurance, | 我现在既没钱也没医疗保险 |
| [06:42] | I have to get used to this third-world situation. | 我不得不适应第三世界的环境 |
| [06:45] | Third-world situation? | 这哪里是第三世界 |
| [06:47] | This is an underworld situation. | 这根本就是冥界 |
| [06:50] | Okay, there’s bulletproof glass. | 好吧 这里有防弹玻璃 |
| [06:53] | With a bullet in it. | 上面还有颗子弹 |
| [06:56] | All right, so the glass works. | 好啦 至少说明这玻璃管用 |
| [06:59] | It says to sign in. | 这儿说要登记 |
| [07:05] | Look, why don’t you just take some of our cupcake business savings | 你干嘛不直接拿开店基金 |
| [07:07] | and go to a good dentist office? | 去看好点的牙科诊所呢 |
| [07:09] | You know, one where you won’t get a staph infection | 就是那种不会因为看一眼地板 |
| [07:11] | just from looking at the floor. | 就染上传染病的诊所 |
| [07:13] | No, we can’t do that. | 不 不能这么做 |
| [07:14] | That’s our future. | 那笔钱可是我们的未来 |
| [07:16] | Once we start doing that, | 花了一次 |
| [07:17] | it’s a slippery slope. | 之后就难以回头了 |
| [07:20] | “Nicole Richie”? | “妮可·瑞奇” |
| [07:26] | I don’t want anyone to know I was here. | 我不想让人知道我来过 |
| [07:30] | I know this situation is less than ideal, | 我知道这里的环境不够理想 |
| [07:32] | but I am having a dental emergency. | 但我现在有紧急”牙”况 |
| [07:37] | No, he’s having a dental emergency. | 不 他才有紧急”牙”况 |
| [07:45] | Come on, let’s go over here | 走吧 去那边问问 |
| [07:46] | and see if this man can help me. | 看他能不能帮帮我 |
| [08:03] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [08:07] | Welcome to Subway Smiles. | 欢迎来到地铁开口笑 |
| [08:12] | I told ya, we’ll get to ya. | 不是说了马上就到你吗 |
| [08:17] | I’m sorry, girls. | 抱歉 女士们 |
| [08:19] | I’m a little shaky. | 我现在有点发抖 |
| [08:21] | I was just shot at. | 我刚被枪击了 |
| [08:24] | I have a problem with my teeth migrating. | 我的牙齿有移位的问题 |
| [08:26] | I have advanced bruxism. | 我有中重度磨牙症 |
| [08:29] | Ah. I have hep C. | 我有丙型肝炎 |
| [08:33] | Everybody’s got their something. | 人生在世 谁无小病 |
| [08:37] | What do you need? | 你需要什么 |
| [08:38] | We need to be leaving. | 我们需要离开 |
| [08:39] | I just need a bite guard. | 我需要个牙齿保持器 |
| [08:41] | Oh! I can do that. | 这个我会 |
| [08:43] | That’s where I squirt foam into your mouth | 我得先喷点白沫进你嘴里 |
| [08:46] | and make a mold. | 做个牙模 |
| [08:48] | Come in the back. | 到后面来吧 |
| [08:50] | If you go back there with him, | 要跟他进后面 |
| [08:51] | you’ll need a bite guard and a rape guard. | 不光需要牙齿保持器 还需要防强暴器 |
| [08:55] | You want the gas? | 你要用笑气吗 |
| [08:56] | Is that necessary? | 有必要吗 |
| [08:58] | You’re gonna want the gas, sweetheart. | 不用你会后悔的 小甜心 |
| [09:09] | One more song before we close. | 在打烊前 再来一首 |
| [09:11] | I sing Spice Girls’ | 就来首辣妹合唱团的 |
| [09:12] | * Aww, tell me what you want, * | * 告诉我你想要什么 * |
| [09:14] | * what you really, really want. * | * 你内心深处最强烈的欲望 * |
| [09:18] | That boy’s more stiff | 他歌喉僵硬的程度 |
| [09:19] | than Michele Bachmann’s husband at a Chippendales. | 比米歇尔·巴赫曼的老公看男妓时还”硬”呢 |
| [09:24] | I will give you the money for trip to fancy dentist. | 我给你钱 让你去看好牙医吧 |
| [09:27] | Really? Oleg, you would do that? | 真的吗 奥列格 你愿意吗 |
| [09:29] | It’s favor I do for you. | 就当是我帮你个忙 |
| [09:31] | And at some point, when I come to you for favor, | 日后我需要你帮忙时 |
| [09:33] | you will say yes, like I say yes now. | 你也会果断答应 就像我现在这样 |
| [09:37] | Well, I’d need to know what that favor might be. | 我得知道你会要我帮什么忙 |
| [09:39] | I can’t say for sure. | 这还说不定 |
| [09:42] | Will it be in a week or a month? | 是一周内还是一个月内 |
| [09:43] | I can’t say for sure. | 这个我也不确定 |
| [09:45] | Will it be sexual? | 跟性有关系吗 |
| [09:46] | Yes, it will be. | 是的 有关 |
| [09:49] | This I can say for sure. | 这我确定一定以及肯定 |
| [09:52] | Thank you, but no. | 多谢 还是算了吧 |
| [09:57] | I am such an idiot. | 我真是个白痴 |
| [09:59] | I like it. Keep going. | 这开头好 接着说 |
| [10:01] | My bite guard is just sitting in the bathroom of my townhouse. | 我的保持器就在我家别墅的厕所里 |
| [10:04] | If I could only get up on the roof, | 如果我能爬上屋顶 |
| [10:06] | then I could break in through the skylight | 我就可以从天窗溜进去 |
| [10:07] | like I used to when I snuck out in high school. | 就像高中时溜出来那样 |
| [10:10] | Hello, I’m Max. Have we met? | 你好 我是麦克斯 你还是大小姐吗 |
| [10:12] | When I was 15, I paid the security system guys extra | 我十五岁的时候 贿赂了装安保系统的人 |
| [10:15] | to not wire the skylight, | 让他们不要在天窗装感应器 |
| [10:16] | and then I snuck out and went to Ilana Shapiro’s Sweet 16… | 之后我偷溜出去参加朋友的十六岁派对 |
| [10:19] | – Cute. – In Greece. | -不错 -跑到希腊呢 |
| [10:22] | Hardcore. | 猛将兄啊 |
| [10:24] | I used to sneak out of the house | 我曾经偷溜出家门 |
| [10:25] | and huff spray paint with an ex-marine. | 和一个前海军陆战队员吸喷漆气呢 |
| [10:28] | And sometimes, I’d just sneak out, | 有时我偷溜出去 |
| [10:31] | look up at the stars, and dream. | 就是想抬头看看星空 做做白日梦 |
| [10:34] | And then you said that. | 你真让人无语 |
| [10:41] | See, I told you I can get this skylight open. | 都说了我能撬开天窗 |
| [10:43] | Turn on a light! | 你倒是开灯呀 |
| [10:44] | Wait till I close the closet door. | 等我先把衣柜门关上 |
| [10:47] | Why are the floors so bouncy? | 为什么这地板这么有弹性呀 |
| [10:49] | It’s called “carpet.” | 那是地毯 |
| [10:54] | What? | 我靠 |
| [10:56] | No way. No way. | 不可能 绝不可能 |
| [10:59] | Is this Narnia? | 这是纳尼亚王国吗 |
| [11:02] | I’m about to say something I swore I’d never say. | 我要说一句我从来没说过的话 |
| [11:05] | O.M.G. | 我的神呀 |
| [11:08] | Again…O.M.G. | 再来一次 我的神呀 |
| [11:10] | It’s lame, but nothing else really nails it. | 虽然这句话很逊 但我想不到更好的了 |
| [11:12] | This is the room that O.M.G. was born for. | “我的神”这句话 就是为这里发明的吧 |
| [11:15] | Max, it’s just my closet. | 麦克斯 这里只是我的衣柜间 |
| [11:17] | Your clothes have a house! | 你的衣服还有间房子住 |
| [11:19] | Look, look! | 看 快看 |
| [11:22] | You are rich! | 你真有钱啊 |
| [11:23] | Like, I know you’ve said you were rich, | 我知道你家很有钱 |
| [11:24] | but you are rich. | 真没想到你丫富到流油啊 |
| [11:27] | You’re embarrassing me. | 说得我都羞涩了 |
| [11:29] | Are you crazy? | 你傻啦 |
| [11:30] | This is nothing to be embarrassed about. | 这有什么好羞涩的 |
| [11:33] | What’s this do? | 这是干嘛用的 |
| [11:37] | Oh, my God. | 我的老天爷啊 |
| [11:39] | You have a shoe rotisserie. | 你有个旋转烤”鞋”架 |
| [11:41] | I designed it. | 我亲自设计的 |
| [11:42] | I call it my “ferris heels”. | 我称它为”鞋天轮” |
| [11:46] | I’d judge you if that wasn’t exactly what | 要是我也有一台 |
| [11:48] | I’d call it if I had one. | 不取这名字就有鬼了 |
| [11:50] | Okay, we should really go now. | 好了 我们真该走了 |
| [11:51] | Let me just grab my bite guard. | 我拿完保持器就走 |
| [11:56] | What? | 哇靠 |
| [11:59] | You have a museum in your closet? | 你的衣橱里还有间博物馆啊 |
| [12:02] | Come on, it’s just a bathroom. | 拜托 就只是间浴室嘛 |
| [12:04] | Just a bathroom? | 什么就只是间浴室 |
| [12:06] | It’s the Louvre of pooping. | 这是茅坑界的卢浮宫吧 |
| [12:10] | Here it is. | 找到了 |
| [12:24] | Do you two need to be left alone? | 要不要给你们俩一点时间温存啊 |
| [12:27] | We have to go. | “偶”们得走了 |
| [12:27] | Can’t risk staying much longer. | 待太久可能”灰”被抓到 |
| [12:30] | Wow. Just when I thought your voice couldn’t get any more grating. | 你烦人的声音现在更上一层楼了 |
| [12:34] | It’ll loosen up. | 戴一会儿就正常了 |
| [12:40] | Seriously, we should go. | 好了 真的该走了 |
| [12:44] | Oh, um, I just have to do one thing before we go. | 我想先做完一件事情再走 |
| [12:54] | I think me and your tub are going steady. | 我跟你的浴缸感情已经稳定下来了 |
| [12:57] | Oh, you found the jacuzzi button. | 哦 你找到按摩钮了 |
| [13:00] | I don’t know who found who, | 我不知道是谁先找到谁 |
| [13:01] | but we’re together now. | 但是我跟小缸缸坠入爱河了 |
| [13:04] | I’m totally stealing some of these ridonculous bath soaps. | 我要把你这些白痴造型的肥皂通通带走 |
| [13:08] | This one’s shaped like a vagina. | 这一个长得跟下体似的 |
| [13:10] | It’s a seashell. | 那是贝壳造型 |
| [13:11] | Sister, this is a mint green vagina. | 妹儿 这明显是薄荷绿的下体 |
| [13:17] | Did you go to the prom with your dad? | 你毕业舞会的伴是你老爸吗 |
| [13:20] | That’s my debutante dance, | 那是我在上流社会的 |
| [13:22] | when I came out. | 初次登场 |
| [13:23] | Out? | 登场 |
| [13:24] | Like you came out that you were dating your dad? | 跟你爸以情侣身份的初次登场吗 |
| [13:27] | Gross. | 真恶心 |
| [13:29] | I think I can still fit a goose feather pillow in. | 应该还可以再塞下一个鹅毛枕头 |
| [13:34] | Hey, what’s this one of you and Chestnut and your dad? | 那这张你跟栗宝还有你爸的合照呢 |
| [13:37] | Oh, that’s when my dad bought Chestnut for me. | 那是我爸爸买栗宝给我时拍的 |
| [13:40] | It was my first-period present. | 栗宝是我初经来潮的纪念礼物 |
| [13:43] | Your dad got you a horse for getting your period? | 你来个月经你爸就送你匹马啊 |
| [13:46] | O.M.G. | 我的神呀 |
| [13:49] | Know how I celebrated getting my period? | 知道我怎么庆祝初潮的吗 |
| [13:51] | Stole a painkiller and half a beer from my mom’s boyfriend. | 从我妈相好那里 偷了止痛药跟半瓶啤酒 |
| [13:55] | Wasn’t a horse, but it was pretty awesome. | 虽然比不上马 不过也是挺爽的哟 |
| [14:00] | How come there are no pictures of your mom? | 怎么都没看到你妈妈的相片啊 |
| [14:02] | ‘Cause there aren’t any. | 压根就没她的相片 |
| [14:04] | She cheated on my dad when I was five, | 我五岁的时候她跟人搞外遇 |
| [14:06] | and my grandmother got rid of her. | 就被我奶奶处理掉了 |
| [14:08] | Not in, like, a mob way. | 不是像黑帮那样把她干掉 |
| [14:10] | In a society way, which is worse. | 而是从社交圈中除名 这样更残忍 |
| [14:12] | So who raised you? | 那你是谁带大的 |
| [14:14] | Well, Estella from 1989 to ’96. | 八九年到九六年是埃斯特拉 |
| [14:19] | Then, Dominica from ’97 until she went back to Guatemala. | 多咪妮佳从九七年带到她回危地马拉 |
| [14:24] | Then no one. | 之后就没人了 |
| [14:27] | Funny. You didn’t have a father, | 挺巧 你没老爸 |
| [14:29] | and I didn’t have a mother. So we’re– | 我没老妈 我们还… |
| [14:30] | Oh, we’re alike? | 我们同病相怜吗 |
| [14:33] | Look around. We have nothing in common. | 看看你家 咱们差了十万八千里 |
| [14:37] | Hey, what’s this button for? | 这个按钮是干嘛的啊 |
| [14:39] | Music. | 放音乐 |
| [14:40] | Oh, let me guess. Show tunes? Boy bands? | 我来猜猜 音乐剧原声带 男子团体吗 |
| [14:45] | I love this song! | 我爱死这首歌了 |
| [15:26] | See? I knew what we had in common wouldn’t last. | 你看 咱俩的共同点不会存在太久 |
| [15:31] | Were you krumping for a second? | 你刚还跳了抽筋舞吗 |
| [15:32] | – Maybe. – Were you tootsie-rolling for a second? | -好像吧 -你刚才也跳了屈膝舞吧 |
| [15:37] | Yes. | 不行啊 |
| [15:40] | Okay, get dressed. | 换衣服吧 |
| [15:41] | We really should go now. | 真得走了 |
| [15:44] | I have all the essentials. | 生活必需品都拿了 |
| [15:45] | Tampons, toilet paper, comforter, body shimmer. | 卫生棉条 厕纸 被子 亮肤乳 |
| [15:48] | Wait, what about the clothes? | 慢着 衣服不拿吗 |
| [15:50] | Oh, what am I gonna do? | 拿衣服干嘛 |
| [15:51] | Walk around Williamsburg in a $3000 gown? | 穿着价值三千的块袍子在咱餐厅里晃荡吗 |
| [15:54] | Oh, my God. | 上帝呀 |
| [15:56] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [15:57] | Grab everything with a price tag on it | 还留着价签的衣服都带走 |
| [15:58] | that we can resell. | 我们可以转售 |
| [16:00] | Or that you think I’d look amazing in. | 你觉得我穿起来超美的也拿走 |
| [16:05] | Not the furs! They’re wired! | 别拿皮草啊 有设警报器的 |
| [16:07] | Why would you wire the furs? | 你没事给皮草设警报器干啥 |
| [16:09] | Everybody wires the furs, bitch! | 富人都会装啊 蠢货 |
| [16:12] | Security’s gonna be here in ten minutes. | 保安会在十分钟内到 |
| [16:14] | Just grab everything you can. | 能拿多少就拿多少 |
| [16:17] | Wait! How are we going to carry it all back to Brooklyn? | 等等 这么多东西怎么弄回家啊 |
| [16:30] | Jealous? | 羡慕嫉妒恨吗 |
| [16:32] | Look, two seats. | 你看 有两位子 |
| [16:45] | I think you got more stuff than me. | 你好像比我拿了更多东西啊 |
| [16:47] | Well, you spent five minutes saying good-bye to the tub. | 谁让你花五分钟跟浴缸道别呢 |
| [16:52] | This was my fave purse to take dancing. | 以前去舞会最喜欢带这个包了 |
| [16:56] | How’d you keep it on your shoulder when you went all mad krump? | 你瞎跳抽筋舞的时候 它不会滑掉吗 |
| [16:59] | Look. $200! | 你看 有两百块 |
| [17:04] | It’s not enough we’re sitting on the subway in furs… | 我们穿皮草坐地铁还不够惹眼啊 |
| [17:06] | You gotta make it rain? | 往空中撒来引人抢吧 |
| [17:08] | This is so exciting. | 真是太爽了 |
| [17:08] | It’s going right into our cupcake fund. | 这笔钱将直接进入我们的开店基金 |
| [17:11] | – Or… – Or what? | -或者… -或者什么 |
| [17:14] | Where was that place you always went with your dad? | 你每次都跟你老爸去吃的地方叫啥来着 |
| [17:18] | Toro with black truffle. | Toro加黑松露 |
| [17:19] | You are about to have a sushi toro-gasm. | 你将会体验到”鲔”高潮的快感 |
| [17:22] | Will you calm down? It’s just– | 别这么夸张好吗 不过就… |
| [17:25] | Oh, sweet bejesus, that’s delicious! | 我的老天啊 这也太好吃了 |
| [17:29] | If this is sushi, | 如果这是寿司 |
| [17:32] | what was that other stuff we ate? | 那我们之前吃的是什么 |
| [17:33] | Wrong. On every level. | 寿”屎” 完全就是屎 |
| [17:35] | We need more of this. | 这个再多来一点 |
| [17:37] | Like, all of it. | 全都多来点 |
| [17:38] | Can we have some more toro? | 请再上一盘Toro |
| [17:39] | Thank you so much. | 谢谢 |
| [17:40] | And, uh… | 另外 |
| [17:42] | 不好意思 再来一份上等Toro すみません もう少し大トロお願いします | |
| [17:48] | 再一份上等Toro 大トロ一丁お願いします | |
| [17:52] | I get it now ’cause I’m rich. | 原来只要有钱 听啥都好笑 |
| [17:58] | I don’t know how you’re pulling it off. | 我真不知道你是怎么忍的 |
| [17:59] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [18:01] | Giving up everything that you had. | 放弃你所拥有的一切 |
| [18:03] | The maids, the closet, the dentist, the sushi, the tub. | 女佣 衣橱 牙医 寿司 浴缸 |
| [18:07] | All of it. The tub. | 这一切 尤其是小缸缸 |
| [18:10] | I almost can’t give it up, | 我都舍不得放弃 |
| [18:11] | but I only had it for an hour. | 我和它才认识一小时呢 |
| [18:14] | You’re kind of a badass. | 你还真是个猛女 |
| [18:16] | Max, you just called me a badass. | 麦克斯 你刚称赞我为”猛女” |
| [18:20] | I’m drunk on black truffle. | 我吃黑松露吃醉了 |
| [18:26] | It’s my dad! | 是我老爸 |
| [18:27] | Wait, he actually exists? | 慢着 还真有其人呀 |
| [18:29] | Like the townhouse and the tub? | 跟别墅和小缸缸一样真实吗 |
| [18:31] | The tub. | 小缸缸呀 |
| [18:33] | Hi, daddy. How are you? | 爸爸 你还好吗 |
| [18:35] | I miss you so much. | 我真的好想你 |
| [18:38] | I’m good. No, really. | 我很好 不 真的 |
| [18:40] | I’m still staying in Brooklyn with my friend, Max. | 我还住在朋友麦克斯的布鲁克林家中 |
| [18:42] | She’s great. | 她人超好的 |
| [18:48] | Oh, okay. Hold on. | 好的 等下 |
| [18:49] | Love you, daddy. | 爱你哦 爸爸 |
| [18:50] | He wants to talk to you. | 他想跟你说话 |
| [18:51] | Me? Why? | 我 为什么 |
| [18:54] | I wouldn’t know what to say. | 我不知道该说什么 |
| [18:55] | Take it! He’s only allowed five minutes. | 快接 他只有五分钟的通话时间 |
| [19:00] | Yo, what’s up, Martin Channing? | 哟 有啥事啊 马丁·钱宁 |
| [19:07] | You’re welcome, but I di– | 别客气 不过… |
| [19:10] | Well, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:13] | Yeah, she’s great. | 对 她挺好的 |
| [19:14] | Real trooper. | 坚强的一名猛女 |
| [19:17] | Well, bye. What? | 那就这样啦 什么 |
| [19:20] | Okay, I’ll tell her. | 好的 我会转告她 |
| [19:24] | Daddy? | 爸爸 |
| [19:26] | He’s gone. | 挂电话了 |
| [19:28] | So that’s what a father sounds like. | 原来父亲就是这种感觉 |
| [19:30] | What did he say? | 他说什么了 |
| [19:33] | He wanted me to remind you to wear your bite guard. | 他让我提醒你记得戴保持器 |
| [19:37] | See, he can’t be as bad as everyone says. | 瞧 他没大家说的那么坏 |
| [19:40] | He just can’t be. | 他就不是个坏人的料 |
| [19:43] | 感谢您 | |
| [19:47] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [19:48] | The 200 didn’t cover it. | 那两百块不够付 |
| [19:51] | Start checking the purses! | 快把钱包翻个遍 |
| [19:53] | Oh, hey. Do you take hats? | 喂 用帽子抵押成不 |
| [19:59] | Any cougars in the house? | 有熟女顾客在店里吗 |
| [20:03] | And in case you don’t know, “cougar” | 我来普及一下 “熟女” |
| [20:05] | means older lady with a large sexual appetite. | 是指三十如狼 四十如虎的饥渴女性 |
| [20:08] | Lady past prime with tight clothes | 年龄走下坡 穿着紧身衣 |
| [20:10] | who wants sex from young men. | 渴望得到年轻男性”滋润”的女性 |
| [20:14] | Max, what is the one thing worse than karaoke? | 麦克斯 你知道什么比卡拉OK更糟糕吗 |
| [20:17] | – Oh, no. – That’s right. | -不会吧 -没错 |
| [20:18] | Open mic night. | 畅所欲言夜 |
| [20:20] | Cougar also have face lift. | 熟女还会去拉皮除皱 |
| [20:21] | From behind, look 22. | 后面看像二十二岁 |
| [20:23] | She turn around, 72. | 正面一看七十二岁 |
| [20:27] | It’s true! | 是真的 |
| [20:28] | It’s funny ’cause it’s true. | 是真的才这么好笑呢 |
| [20:31] | Bad news. | 坏消息 |
| [20:33] | They heightened security because we tripped the alarm. | 我们触发报警器后 他们加强了保安 |
| [20:35] | The entire townhouse is locked down. | 这栋别墅都被封锁起来了 |
| [20:37] | We can never go back! | 我们永远也回不去了 |
| [20:38] | My tub! | 我的小缸缸 |
| [20:39] | Why does anything that gives me pleasure wind up behind bars? | 为什么所有让我快乐的东西都被关了呢 |
| [20:43] | Forget about the tub. | 忘了那个浴缸吧 |
| [20:44] | Everything was inventoried. | 家里的每样东西都有被登记过 |
| [20:46] | We can’t sell the furs. | 那些皮草是卖不掉的 |
| [20:47] | I should’ve thought of that! | 我早该想到了 |
| [20:48] | Yeah, you should’ve. | 是啊 你真该早想到 |
| [20:49] | ‘Cause you know they always inventory the furs, bitch! | 富人都会登记皮草的呀 蠢货 |