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破产姐妹(Broke Girl)第6季第1集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月11日 By jubentaici_movie_user 破产姐妹(Broke Girl)第6季第1集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S01E11
S01E12
S01E13
S01E14
S01E15
S01E16
S01E17
S01E18
S01E19
S01E20
S01E21
S01E22
S01E2324
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10
S02E11
S02E12
S02E13
S02E14
S02E15
S02E16
S02E17
S02E18
S02E19
S02E20
S02E21
S02E22
S02E23
S02E24
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
S03E10
S03E11
S03E12
S03E13
S03E14
S03E15
S03E16
S03E17
S03E18
S03E19
S03E20
S03E21
S03E22
S03E23
S03E24
S04E01
S04E02
S04E03
S04E04
S04E05
S04E06
S04E07
S04E08
S04E09
S04E10
S04E11
S04E12
S04E13
S04E14
S04E15
S04E16
S04E17
S04E18
S04E19
S04E20
S04E21
S04E22
S05E01
S05E02
S05E03
S05E04
S05E05
S05E06
S05E07
S05E08
S05E09
S05E10
S05E11
S05E12
S05E13
S05E14
S05E15
S05E16
S05E17
S05E18
S05E19
S05E20
S05E21
S05E22
S06E01
S06E03
S06E04
S06E05
S06E06
S06E07
S06E08
S06E09
S06E10
S06E11
S06E12
S06E13
S06E14
S06E15
S06E16
S06E17
S06E18
S06E19
S06E20
S06E21
S06E22
时间 英文 中文
[00:02] Hey, Earl. 厄尔
[00:03] It’s the brand new us in brand new gently used outfits. 全新的我们穿着别人没怎么穿过的二手衣
[00:08] The pit stains are vintage. 污渍走得可是复古风呢
[00:11] I dug mine out of a dumpster. 我这身是从垃圾桶翻出来的
[00:13] It wasn’t even touching the diaper. 完全没有接触到任何尿布的呢
[00:16] I’m not used to seeing you girls in clothes. 我看你们俩穿[自己]衣服好不习惯
[00:19] Things just sound creepier when you’re old. 老头子说这话 听起来更变态
[00:23] As new part owners of the diner, 作为餐厅的新合伙人
[00:25] we’re making improvements. 我们要作出改进
[00:26] Heh, not in the food or decor 当然不是改进食物或装修
[00:28] ’cause LOL. 因为 呵呵你懂的
[00:30] But we’re just gonna look better. 但改进的是我们 要更美
[00:35] Oleg, did you hear the news? 奥列格 你听说了吗
[00:36] We’re not wearing uniforms anymore. 我们以后不穿制服上班啦
[00:38] Cool. 好啊
[00:39] Let’s do it. 那就不穿了
[00:43] Just say the word. 只要一句话
[00:45] The underwear is tear-away too. 内裤也是一撕就掉哦
[00:48] Don’t say words. 千万别说话
[00:52] Oh, God! 天啊
[00:53] I think I just looked into the eye of the tiger. 我觉得我仿佛已经看到了他的”马眼”了
[00:56] Oh, it’s my roach friend, Pierre. 我的蟑螂朋友皮埃尔来了
[00:59] Bonjour, Pierre. 你好[法语] 皮埃尔
[01:01] Au revoir, Pierre. 再见[法语] 皮埃尔
[01:06] Stop, drop, and roll! 停下 趴下 打滚
[01:09] You’re on fire. 你身上着火了
[01:09] You’re on fire. 你身上着火了
[01:11] Now scissor a little. It can’t hurt. 来 磨两下豆腐 磨磨不碍事儿
[01:25] Okay, now that no one can see Oleg’s nipples, 好了 现在奥列格的奶头遮起来了
[01:29] let’s start. 我们开始吧
[01:30] As you know, Max and I are part owners of the diner. 你们也知道 我和麦克斯是这家餐厅的合伙人
[01:33] You been telling us every damn day 你每一天都会告诉我们一遍
[01:34] like a skinny cuckoo clock. 就像瘦版的布谷报时钟
[01:37] Which reminds me, 这倒提醒我
[01:39] I timed my medication to it. 根据你报时 我到该吃药的时间了
[01:42] Pill me, Earl. 我也”药” 厄尔
[01:44] What was that? 那是什么你就吃
[01:46] I don’t know. 我不知道啊
[01:47] Like to keep my body guessing. 我喜欢让我的身体玩猜猜看
[01:49] So what’s this meeting for? 开会到底要干嘛
[01:51] The baby’s almost here 宝宝快出生了
[01:52] and I still have a bunch of new father stuff to do: 我还有很多新手爸爸该干的事没干呢
[01:54] build a crib; 造一张婴儿床
[01:55] get rid of 60 yards of butt-beads. 扔掉总长55米的各式肛门拉珠
[01:59] You can build a crib? 你还会造婴儿床啊
[02:02] Anyway, the big change we’re talking about 总而言之 我们讨论的”大改变”
[02:04] is changing right now. 现在正在换衣服呢
[02:06] Han? 阿憨
[02:07] I don’t want to! 人家不想穿这个啦
[02:09] Okay, fine. 好吧好吧
[02:20] Those shorts look like a cheap hotel, 这短裤看着就像廉价酒店
[02:22] no ballroom. 没有舞厅[“蛋”巢]
[02:25] I already lost my diner. 我已经失去我的餐厅了
[02:26] Haven’t I been shamed enough? 被羞辱得还不够吗
[02:28] Thanks for reminding me. Caroline? 多谢提醒 卡洛琳
[02:35] Now you have. 现在够了
[02:36] And this is what you get for gambling on ladies’ tennis 这就是你的下场 谁让你赌女子网球
[02:39] and owing us $25,000. 还欠我们2万5啊
[02:42] You look like Bob’s “little” boy. 你看起来像鲍勃的”小”儿子
[02:42] “鲍勃的大儿子”是美国一家美式连锁餐厅 汽车通道点餐是对着人偶的嘴
[02:46] Should we order directly into your mouth? 我们该直接往你嘴里点餐吗
[02:52] Han, since the diner is now owner operated, 阿憨 现在这家餐厅是合伙人经营制
[02:55] if we have to wait on tables, so do you. 如果我们得干活 那你也一样
[02:57] You’re gonna cover our shifts because our other business, 我们不在你就得顶替我们 因为我们另一家店
[03:00] the dessert bar, is opening in two days. 甜品酒吧 还有两天就开业了
[03:02] Did you say you own a dessert bar? 你刚是不是提到你有一家甜品酒吧
[03:04] Huh… pill time. 吃药时间又到了
[03:07] I don’t know why I can’t catch a break from you two. 真不知道我上辈子欠了你们多少债
[03:10] I had to put up with Max’s heartbreak 麦克斯和洛城男友兰迪分手
[03:12] over her LA boyfriend Randy for months. 我默默忍受了她好几个月心碎不想干活
[03:14] It was more indulgent than Beyonce’s “Lemonade.” 这比碧昂斯的《柠檬特调》还要宽容啊
[03:14] 这部电影由同名专辑的12歌串联 前部分控诉老公出轨偷情 后部分原谅他
[03:18] – How dare you? – She’s a queen. -好大的胆子 -她可是女王大人
[03:22] The name “Randy” is off-limits in this diner, Han. 兰迪这个名字在餐厅里是禁忌 阿憨
[03:25] Like ambition or fresh milk. 雄心壮志和新鲜牛奶也是
[03:27] Girls, while you have us trapped here, 姑娘们 你们逼我们出席的同时
[03:30] what the hell is a dessert bar? 我想问甜品酒吧到底是什么玩意
[03:33] Is it cake with alcohol in it? 是蛋糕里面有酒
[03:35] Or alcohol with cake? 还是酒配蛋糕啊
[03:36] ‘Cause either way, nobody wants to make love 因为无论哪种 没人会在
[03:39] after eating a big hunk of pie. 吃完一大块馅饼后 还想做爱
[03:42] Earl, everybody understands the concept. 厄尔 大家都懂这个概念
[03:46] I don’t get the dessert bar thing either. 我也搞不懂这甜品酒吧
[03:48] Who wants to hear from a human mustard packet? 谁想听人体黄芥末酱包的意见啊
[03:52] Randy, Randy, Randy. Zing! 兰迪 兰迪 兰迪 咬我啊
[03:58] Damn, baby got back. 靠 小矮子有辣臀啊
[04:00] Thanks for the input, but I think I know what I’m doing. 多谢你们的意见 但我知道我在做什么
[04:03] I went to Wharton. 我可是沃顿毕业的
[04:05] Wharton. 提到沃顿了
[04:06] That’s my last pill. 该吃最后一片药了
[04:10] Hey, every-baby! 各位宝宝安安
[04:14] Yeah, it’s my due date. 没错 预产期到了
[04:17] This baby is taking longer to come out 等这个宝宝出来的时间比
[04:19] than a Catholic from Indiana. 印第安纳州的天主教徒出柜的时间还要久
[04:23] Sophie, do you feel anything? 苏菲 你有感觉到什么了吗
[04:26] I mean, besides the vibrating panties I got you? 除了我送给你的震动内裤之外的感觉
[04:30] Oh, is that what that sound is? 原来怪声音是那个啊
[04:31] I thought a bee got in here. 我还以为店里飞进一只蜜蜂呢
[04:33] Well, I’ll be in my booth 我去我的专座
[04:35] waiting for my baby. 等待我宝宝的降临
[04:45] Welcome to the Williamsburg Diner. 欢迎来到威廉斯堡餐厅
[04:49] I’ll be your waiter, Han. 我是您的服务员 阿憨
[04:52] Who’s the new girl? 这个新妞是谁啊
[04:55] I don’t like her. 我不喜欢她
[05:01] None of these bartenders have dessert bar experience. 这些酒保全都没有甜品酒吧的工作经验
[05:05] I guess that’s because we made it up. 我猜那是因为这种酒吧是我们瞎编的
[05:07] That one guy got drunk at the M&M’s store. 有个家伙在巧克力豆专卖店喝醉过
[05:10] That’s in the ballpark. 能勉强搭上边吧
[05:11] You just like him ’cause he gave you candy. 你喜欢他是因为他给你糖果了
[05:14] It did not hurt. 试试又不会死
[05:18] Hey. I’m here for the bartender job. 你好 我是来应聘酒保工作的
[05:21] Well, you’re not holding your penis, 你手里没有提着你的”鸟”
[05:22] so you’re doing better than the last guy. 这已说明你比上一个好多了
[05:25] Full disclosure: that guy’s still in the running. 完全公开原则 那家伙还在候选名单
[05:28] Mine would be here, but he gets nervous at interviews. 我也想露鸟 但我的鸟面试时会紧张
[05:32] He’s funny. 他好有趣
[05:33] He’s an actual bartender. 他的工作就是酒保
[05:35] He’s qualified, and he’s still not holding his penis. 资质符合 而且还没有露鸟
[05:37] You’re hired. 你被雇佣了
[05:38] Welcome aboard, Randall. 欢迎加入 兰德尔
[05:39] I hate that name. People call me “Randy.” 我讨厌这个名字 人们都叫我”兰迪”
[05:43] And we hate that name. Out you go. 我们讨厌这个名字 你可以走了
[05:45] No, no, no. 不不不
[05:46] No, no, that’s… come on. 别啊 别这样
[05:47] He’s not gonna bother me. 他不会影响到我
[05:49] He looks nothing like my Randy. 他跟我的兰迪完全不像
[05:51] My Randy is a 我的兰迪
[05:53] mountain of a man. 如山一般高大伟岸
[05:55] But life got in the way. 但生活成了我们的阻碍
[05:57] He lives in LA and I was starting this dessert bar. 他住在洛杉矶 而我要打理这家甜品酒吧
[06:01] Yeah, she’s not over it. 唉 她仍余情未了
[06:03] Yeah, and you really pooped the bed with the name thing. 唉 你的名字让到嘴边的鸭子飞了
[06:07] He could pick me up with one arm 他可以一手拎着我
[06:09] and carry Chinese food with the other. 一手拎着中餐
[06:13] Where’d that guy go? 那家伙去哪儿了
[06:15] He disappeared faster than Adam Lambert. 他比亚当·兰伯特的名气消失得还快
[06:18] Max, we need to avoid any reminders of Randy. 麦克斯 我们得避开任何会让你想到兰迪的事物
[06:21] I can’t go back to that depression you were in. 我不想再次经历你抑郁的那阶段
[06:23] It was so hard for me. 我太可怜太难熬了
[06:26] Don’t worry. 别担心
[06:28] I’ll be okay and so will we. 我会没事的 我们也会没事的
[06:30] This is Williamsburg; 这里可是威廉斯堡
[06:31] you can’t spit without hitting a bartender. 随便吐个口水都能打中一个酒保
[06:33] Or an artisanal pickle maker. 或腌泡菜的人
[06:36] Why do we live here? 我们为什么要住这里啊
[06:38] I’m here for the bartender interview. 我是来面试酒保的
[06:45] Oh, no, you two. 不是吧 居然是你俩
[06:48] How do we know him? 我们认识他吗
[06:50] Wait a minute. 等等
[06:51] Dad? 爸爸
[06:54] You’re the puppet guy that tried to sue us 你是那个想告我们的木偶男
[06:56] two years and three businesses ago 就在两年前 我们三个生意之前时
[06:59] She broke my puppet. 她弄坏了我的木偶
[07:02] Wait, we never had sex. 等等 我们没有上过床啊
[07:06] Did we? 对吧
[07:08] Do you wiggle a lot? 你是不是老爱扭啊
[07:11] I do. 是的
[07:13] But we didn’t. 但我们没上过床
[07:15] Anyway, uh, since I changed psychopharmacologists, 总而言之 我换了精神药物学家后
[07:20] the puppets aren’t talking to me 木偶们跟我说话的次数
[07:22] as much. 变少了
[07:24] Here’s my resume. 这是我的简历
[07:37] Please don’t call the references. 千万不要打给上面的介绍人
[07:39] They’re all jealous of me. 他们都嫉妒我会说我坏话
[07:42] Under special skills, you wrote, “Revenge.” 特殊技能这里 你填的是《复仇》
[07:45] Oh, whoops, that was supposed to be under 哎呀 那应该是填在
[07:47] “Favorite TV Shows.” “喜爱的电视剧”那一栏
[07:49] But can’t we just let bygones be bygones? 都过去了 我们能既往不咎吗
[07:51] I mean, really, I’ve done a lot of work on myself. 说真的 我下了很大功夫改变自己
[07:53] I have found inner peace, 我找到了内心的平和
[07:55] and I’ve completely… completely centered myself 我通过一系列…一系列的治疗
[07:58] through a series of… of therapy sessions 完全… 完全集中自我后…
[08:00] that became intensely sexual. 从治疗变成了性关系
[08:06] Yeah, I know. It’s on your resume. 我知道 你简历上有写
[08:08] Him you can call. 你可以打给他
[08:11] We don’t like to work with 我们不喜欢同事是
[08:13] nemesises. 臭人[仇人]
[08:16] Nemesi? 丑人
[08:18] Let’s just go with “Creepy people that we hate.” 这么说吧 “我们讨厌的怪人”
[08:22] Fine. 行
[08:23] You two, with your porcelain skin 你们俩皮肤白嫩
[08:26] and your businesses. 开个店了不起啊
[08:29] I’ll go back to my crappy daytime job, 我回去继续干我那份破工作
[08:31] but FYI, Cagney and Lacey, 但提醒你们一句 美国警花
[08:35] nobody knows what the hell a dessert bar is. 没人知道甜点酒吧到底是什么鬼
[08:39] What is so hard to understand? 有这么难以理解吗
[08:40] It’s signature cocktails 不就是招牌鸡尾酒
[08:42] paired with dessert confections. 配上甜品糖果吗
[08:45] Why do all my enemies have to be geniuses? 为什么我的仇家都是天才
[08:51] He does seem a lot better. 他的确看起来好多了
[08:53] Max, we open in two days; we need a bartender. 麦克斯 还有两天就开业了 我们需要一个酒保
[08:55] Look, I will just take care of the drinks 听着 酒水这块就先交给我
[08:57] till we find the right person not named “Randy.” 我们会找到不叫”兰迪”的合适人选
[09:00] Max, look around. We did it. 麦克斯 看看这里 我们做到了
[09:03] And it only cost every cent we got 只不过花光了
[09:05] from your big movie deal. 你电影合同挣来的每一分钱而已
[09:06] And the weed money you were hiding 还有你藏在”非大麻钱”盒子里的
[09:07] in that box labeled “Not weed money.” 用来买大麻的每一分钱
[09:10] I’m gonna go check out the bathroom again. 我再去检查一下厕所
[09:12] You know you’ve made it when you have an industrial flush. 拥有能自动冲水的马桶时 就知道自己成功了
[09:14] The seat is clean. You don’t even have to hover. 马桶圈是干净的 你不用撅着屁股
[09:17] Come on! 这么爽
[09:20] Delivery for Max and Caroline. 麦克斯和卡洛琳的快递到了
[09:24] What are you wearing? 你穿的是什么呀
[09:26] And I don’t know how this is possible, 我不知道这怎么有可能
[09:27] but you have a camel toe. 但你居然有骆驼趾
[09:30] It’s my flower delivery uniform. 这是我的送花制服
[09:32] I picked up a shift so I could pay you two shrews faster 我多打份工 就可以快点还你俩悍妇钱
[09:35] and get my diner back. 早点把餐厅弄回来
[09:37] Now, could you please sign? I left my bicycle unlocked. 麻烦签收一下 我的自行车没锁呢
[09:40] It says, “Max and Caroline, 上面写着 “麦克斯和卡洛琳
[09:41] congratulations on your dessert bar, Randy.” 祝你们的甜品酒吧开张大吉 兰迪”
[09:45] These are from Randy. 这花是兰迪送的
[09:46] Oh, my God. Get these out of here. 天啊 快拿出去
[09:48] The Upsy Daisies are our most popular item. 雏菊宝宝是我们最受欢迎的花束
[09:52] Widows get into fist fights over them. 寡妇们可是为了这花大打出手呢
[09:55] Yes! 爽
[09:57] Han, get these out of here. 阿憨 快把这花拿走
[09:58] I can’t have her see these. Go. 我不能让她看见这花 快走
[10:00] I will make a notation that you did not tip. 我会写个批注 说你没给小费
[10:03] No 19-digit promo code for you. 你休想拿到19位数电子优惠码
[10:09] The mail wasn’t there, but that unexplained puddle 没有信件 但走廊那个不明水坑
[10:11] in the hallway is thriving. 现在越来越大了
[10:14] I’m afraid they’re gonna call it a pool 我好怕他们会称其为”泳池”
[10:15] and try to raise our rent. 然后以此来提高租金
[10:17] Good! 很好啊
[10:18] I’d love to have friends over to my puddle for a change. 我也想有天能换我邀请朋友到自家水坑玩
[10:22] Our liquor license was supposed to come today. 我们的酒水供应许可证今天应该寄到了呀
[10:24] We should have gotten mail by now. 现在早应该收到信件了
[10:25] We also should have left batteries 我们也早该将电池
[10:27] in the carbon monoxide detector, 放进一氧化碳检测器
[10:28] but I got tired of all the beeping. 但我受够了那玩意一直响
[10:31] Do your eyes feel bloodier than usual? 你的眼睛是不是比平时更红啊
[10:35] Hey, gals! 姑娘们
[10:37] Yeah, nope. Still not a mother. 是的 没动静 我还没当妈
[10:40] Oh, I’m so bored. 我好无聊啊
[10:43] I’ve Netflix’d, Hulu’d, Amazoned. 看完三家在线视频网站的视频了
[10:46] I’m about to HBO GO out of my mind. 我准备要换第四家狂看了
[10:50] Sophie, where did you get those Upsy Daisies? 苏菲 这小雏菊哪儿来的
[10:53] Oh, Han gave them to me. 阿憨给我的
[10:55] Yeah, and he tried to sell me a time-share in the Poconos. 他还试图卖给我波克诺山的一套分时度假房
[10:58] Yeah, but I got to say, 可我不得不说
[11:00] I was a little intrigued. 我有一点点动心了
[11:02] Sophie, you shouldn’t be down here. 苏菲 你不该下来
[11:04] There’s a probable carbon monoxide leak. 我们这里的煤气很可能泄露了
[11:06] You should go check out our pool. 你去看看我们的泳池吧
[11:09] Why did Han give you flowers? 为什么阿憨要送你花
[11:11] Is he trying to hit that? 他想上你吗
[11:13] Oh, well, he’d have to reach that first. 那他也得先够得着那里才行啊
[11:16] No, they were for you guys. 没有啦 这花是送给你们的
[11:18] Yeah, Caroline didn’t want them. 卡洛琳不想要
[11:20] Yeah, but I’m not above garbage flowers. 可我不介意收别人不要的花
[11:23] These are from Randy for me. 这花是兰迪送给我的
[11:28] You! 你居然
[11:30] Max, I didn’t want to tell you about the flowers. 麦克斯 我不想告诉你花的事情
[11:32] I didn’t want to upset you. 因为我不希望你不开心
[11:34] If you don’t want to upset me, 如果你不希望我不开心
[11:35] then why do you chew salad so loudly? 那你嚼沙拉的时候为什么这么大声
[11:39] Uh, she’s got a point there, Caroline. 她说得很对 卡洛琳
[11:47] I am not mad. 我 不 生气
[11:50] You’re not? 真的吗
[11:51] No. 真的
[11:52] It was really nice of Randy to send flowers 兰迪人真好 还特地送花过来
[11:54] and maybe I should call him. 或许我该打给他
[11:56] Bad idea to get in touch with Randy. 跟兰迪联系可不是个好主意
[11:58] Very bad idea, like, 这主意糟透了 就像
[12:00] jumpsuits on short women. 小矮子穿连体裤
[12:01] What? 什么
[12:02] He did a nice thing 他发出了善意
[12:04] and I just want to thank him. 我只想谢谢他
[12:05] We’ll thank him together. 那我们一起谢他
[12:07] You know what people like to get nowadays? 你知道现在的人喜欢什么吗
[12:08] A handwritten note. Let me grab my stationery. 手写便条 让我拿我的信纸
[12:12] It’s a Rite Aid receipt so there’s plenty of room. 这是一张收据 有大把地方写字
[12:16] – Dear Randy… – You know what? -亲爱的兰迪 -算了
[12:18] Just calling Randy is rude. 打给兰迪太失礼了
[12:20] Since when do you worry about rude? 你什么时候开始担心失礼这件事了
[12:22] – You interrupt almost every… – I want to FaceTime him. -你几乎每次都打断… -我直接跟他视频好了
[12:24] That’s much worse, and you just interrupted me Ag… 那样更糟 你刚又打断我说话…
[12:26] – Hi, Randy. – Max! -兰迪 -麦克斯
[12:28] It’s so great to hear from you. 很高兴你能找我
[12:30] Is Caroline not there, or is she standing behind you 卡洛琳不在吗 还是她站在你身后
[12:33] with her arms folded, looking angry? 双臂交叉 一脸不爽
[12:35] My arms aren’t folded, they’re on my hips. 我没有交叉双臂 我叉的是腰
[12:37] And I’m not angry, 而且我没有不爽
[12:38] but Max called you without my permission. 但麦克斯没有经过我同意就打给你
[12:41] Hi, Miss Channing. 你好 钱宁姐
[12:44] Max has to get off the phone. 麦克斯必须挂电话
[12:46] You’re embarrassing me. 你这样我好丢脸啊
[12:48] Max, it took you three months 麦克斯 你用了整整三个月
[12:50] and a palette of Cheetos to get over him. 吃了全部口味的薯片才忘了他
[12:52] You covered the screen, not the speaker. 你盖住的是屏幕 不是麦克风
[12:56] You shouldn’t be talking to him. 你不该跟他说话
[12:58] You shouldn’t be wearing blue eye shadow. 你也不该画蓝色眼影
[13:01] You told me it looked nice 是你说好看的
[13:03] and now I’ve ruined the receipt and I can’t take it back. 现在小票毁了 我不能退货了
[13:06] Guys, I’m getting whiplash. 两位 我脖子要扭伤啦
[13:08] You know what? Everyone just calm down. 都不要激动好不好
[13:11] I’m just saying thank you. 我只是想说声谢谢
[13:14] God-uh! 搞毛啊
[13:17] Sophie, is it time? 苏菲 到时间了吗
[13:18] Are you in labor? 你要生了吗
[13:20] No. 不
[13:21] I broke my masturbating underwear. 我自慰内裤坏了
[13:25] Ah, but you know how that goes. 但你知道怎么回事吧
[13:27] I do not 我不知道
[13:29] and I will not act like I might. 我也不会表现得我可能知道
[13:32] You know, you’re a puzzle 你是一个
[13:34] that I have no interest in solving. 我完全没兴趣解开的迷
[13:38] Here’s your mail. 你的信来了
[13:39] The mail. 信
[13:40] Our liquor license. 我们的酒水供应许可证
[13:41] Yeah. 是啊
[13:42] You know what, 对了
[13:43] I think my masturbating underwear is short-circuiting, 我觉得我的自慰内裤短路了
[13:46] but… eeh… oh… but it feels pretty good. 但… 触电感觉可是相当好哟
[13:52] Is not coming because I made a tiny mistake on the forms? 申请没通过 因为我填表时犯了个小错
[13:57] Well, if it makes you feel any better, 如果这话能让你好过些
[13:59] nobody knows what a dessert bar is. 我想说 没人知道甜品酒吧是什么鬼
[14:02] And frankly, 老实说
[14:03] it just makes people angry. 这点会让人很不爽
[14:08] Max, I have bad news. 麦克斯 我有个坏消息
[14:09] Oh, my God… you’re naked! 天啊 你怎么没穿衣服
[14:11] I’m saying thank you to Randy. 我在感谢兰迪呢
[14:15] Looks like Randy is thanking himself. 貌似兰迪在”感谢”他自己
[14:19] Oh, hey, sorry about that. 抱歉
[14:20] That thank you kind of got away from us. 感谢的过程有点失控了
[14:24] Max, put your pants on, we’re going downtown. 麦克斯 把裤子穿上 我们要去市区
[14:26] That’s funny, Randy just told me 真巧 兰迪刚叫我脱掉裤子
[14:28] to take them off for the same reason. 因为他也要去”湿区”
[14:37] Last time I saw a line this long, 我上一次看见这么长的队伍[毒品]
[14:39] it went up my nose. 统统被我吸进鼻子了
[14:41] And I almost married Katt Williams. 我还嗨到差点嫁给凯特·威廉姆斯
[14:44] Excuse me? 请问一下
[14:45] Is there a different line for people 这里有没有另一排队伍
[14:47] who just made one tiny mistake and it’s not her fault 是专门给表上有小错 但不是填写人的错
[14:49] ’cause she was just overwhelmed at the time? 是因为当时太累才填错的人排的
[14:57] Max, we’re gonna die here. 麦克斯 我们要死在这里了
[14:58] Ugh, finally. 终于解脱了
[15:01] I’d give out flyers for the dessert bar, but I just saw 我本想在这里发发甜品酒吧的传单 但我刚看见
[15:02] someone pull an unwrapped cheese stick out of his pocket. 有人从口袋里掏出一根没包装的芝士条
[15:05] I can’t believe you filled out a form wrong. 真不敢相信你填表也会出错
[15:08] Start a business much? 还创业呢
[15:11] Uh, in my defense, this is kind of your fault. 在我看来 这算是你的错
[15:15] Me? How is it my fault? 我 怎么就成了我的错了
[15:17] I was in a fort made out of pillows most of July. 我七月大部分时间都在枕头乡里
[15:20] Or was it August? 还是当时已经八月了
[15:22] I don’t know, you can lose track of time in a fort. 我不知道 你在枕头乡会忘记时间流逝
[15:24] Exactly. 没错
[15:25] I had to jackass around this whole city 但我不得不满城跑
[15:27] to get the dessert bar ready while you were 筹备甜品酒吧 而你却在
[15:29] rolling in the deep, getting over Randy. 悲伤中翻滚 试图忘掉兰迪
[15:31] So… 所以
[15:33] hello from the other side. 来自枕头乡外的问候
[15:37] Girl fight. 妹子撕逼
[15:38] Worldstar. 开撕啦
[15:42] And now, after all that, 事到如今 你经历了那么多
[15:44] I catch you going down on Randy’s iPhone. 却被我抓包你和兰迪在视频激情
[15:46] I’m warning you right now, 我现在就警告你
[15:48] I am not bathing you again. 我不会再帮你洗澡了
[15:50] Look, there is a mathematical formula 听着 有一道数学公式
[15:53] involved in break-up sex. 存在于分手炮里
[15:54] What do you know about math? 你懂个屁数学啊
[15:56] You always leave out six when you count to ten. 你连数1到10 都会忘了数6
[16:00] Doesn’t mean you’re stupid. 那不意味着你蠢
[16:01] A lot of persons do that. 很多人都会这样
[16:04] Typically, in a break-up, 通常来说 两人分手后
[16:05] if you live in the same city, 如果你们住在同一个城市
[16:07] you go to the guy’s house to pick up your stuff, 你去男方家里收拾你的东西
[16:09] and then you do it. 你们会打一炮
[16:10] That’s one time. 这是第一炮
[16:12] Then you “forget something” and he brings it to your place 然后你”漏拿了东西” 他送到你家
[16:15] and then you do it. 你们又会打一炮
[16:15] That’s two. 这是第二炮
[16:16] Then you run into each other at a bar, 然后你们在酒吧相遇
[16:19] do it in the bathroom. 在厕所里打炮
[16:20] Three. 第三炮
[16:21] Then you fake a pregnancy. That’s four. 接着你假装怀孕 第四炮
[16:24] Then he fakes an STD. That’s five. 再接着他假装得性病 第五炮
[16:26] And then you’re broken up. 再然后你们就彻底分手了
[16:31] There’s been no math. 根本没有数学
[16:33] Five is a number. 五是一个数字
[16:35] Numbers are math. Read a book. 数字就是数学 看看书吧
[16:38] Yeah. Read a book. 对啊 要多看书
[16:40] Name a book. 你说个书名来听听
[16:42] The phone book. 电话本[书]
[16:46] This line is for municipal licenses only. 这里只办市政许可证
[16:49] Not driver’s licenses, wedding licenses, or whatnot. 驾照 结婚证或其他的 一律不在这里
[16:52] Municipal licenses. 只办市政许可证
[16:53] If you don’t know what that is, you’re in the wrong line. 如果你不知道是什么 那你就是排错队了
[16:56] How could you not know what line 怎么会有人不知道
[16:57] you’re supposed to be standing in? 就瞎排队呢
[17:03] Randy, let me call you back from the bathroom. 兰迪 我等下去厕所打给你
[17:05] I know where it is. I used to work here. 我知道在哪儿 我以前在这工作过
[17:07] Max! 麦克斯
[17:09] Hey, Caroline. 卡洛琳
[17:11] Oh, Max was just thanking me for the flowers again. 麦克斯又在因为花的事感谢我呢
[17:13] That’s why I’m not wearing a shirt. 所以我没有穿上衣
[17:16] Or pants. 或裤子
[17:18] Uh, let me call you back, but keep your pants off. 晚点打给你 裤子先别穿上哦
[17:22] What? I am not counting that as one. 干嘛 这一次我不会算入五次中
[17:24] Were you really gonna spank it 你真的打算在
[17:26] in the middle of the municipal building? 政府办公楼打他屁股吗
[17:28] Spank it? 打屁股
[17:30] Don’t be crass, Caroline. 别这么低俗好吗 卡洛琳
[17:32] Yes. 是的
[17:34] Next! 下一个
[17:35] Ding ding ding! 来了 来了
[17:37] It’s just some clerical error 应该只是笔误之类的
[17:38] so we should be able to get our license today. 我们应该今天就可以拿到许可证了
[17:40] Let me handle this. 让我来处理
[17:41] You know you have a history of 毕竟你也知道你过去有
[17:42] getting slappy with bureaucrats. 碰到官老爷就犯二的历史
[17:45] Hi. 您好
[17:46] We got this in the mail, 我们收到这封信
[17:48] and there’s been some teensy little mistake… 里面貌似有个小小的错误
[17:49] Well, well, well! 哎哟哟
[17:53] Him! 这货
[17:56] I’ve got this, Moesha. 莫伊莎 放着我来
[17:58] Why don’t you go clean up your little 你何不去清理一下
[17:59] Lean Cuisine explosion in the microwave? 微波炉里你弄出来的速冻食品残渣呢
[18:02] Oh, she’s a mess. 她可邋遢了
[18:05] Now, how can I 我能怎么
[18:07] not help you two? 给两位帮倒忙呢
[18:10] This is your dead-end job? 这就是你说的没出路工作吗
[18:12] I pictured you working as a drug mule 我还想象你是去当运毒人
[18:14] or a seat filler on The View. 或脱口秀节目充场面的观众呢
[18:17] That’s a job? 那也叫工作吗
[18:19] Dude, I just made a mistake on the application. 兄弟 我就只是申请表上填错了
[18:22] Can’t you just give us a break? 能不能放我们一马
[18:23] Our dessert bar is supposed to open tomorrow night. 我们的甜品酒吧本来应该明晚开幕
[18:25] Please? 求你了
[18:26] I gave up a boyfriend for this business, 我为了这生意放弃了我男朋友
[18:28] and I’m gonna mess up 如果这事黄了
[18:29] her pretty face if it doesn’t work out. 我一定会把她这张美颜划个稀巴烂
[18:31] Max, thank you. 麦克斯 谢谢你
[18:33] I was starting to think you didn’t think I was that pretty. 我本来还开始觉得你认为我没那么好看呢
[18:37] If we don’t fix this, we’re gonna have to delay our opening. 如果我们不搞定这事 我们开幕就得延后了
[18:40] So please? 求求你了
[18:42] You know what? 这样吧
[18:43] Let me talk to my supervisor. 我跟我上司谈谈
[18:52] His neck’s a little rusty, 他的脖子有些僵硬了
[18:54] but that’s a no. 但他摇头了
[18:59] I would make us a drink but without a liquor license, 我想给咱俩调杯酒 但没有许可证
[19:02] all I can make is meth. 我唯一能做的只有冰毒
[19:04] This is all my fault. 这全是我的错
[19:05] No, I was in a funk about Randy 不是 是我因为兰迪变成废人
[19:08] and you had to do all this stuff on your own. 所以你得自己张罗各种大小事
[19:09] – It’s my fault. – Okay, good. -是我的错 -好吧 太好了
[19:11] That’s what I really thought, 这才是我真实想法
[19:13] but I just wanted to make sure it was out there. 但我想先确定咱俩都这么想
[19:16] We have zero luck, Max, zero. 麦克斯 我们毫无运气 屁点没有
[19:19] I just stopped by to say 我就顺便过来说一句
[19:22] I’m sorry about your dessert bar. 甜品酒吧的事我也很遗憾
[19:25] You two are unlucky A, F. 你俩倒霉到”像屎”啊
[19:30] That’s “As Freddie.” 是”像屎迪哥”
[19:32] He’s a friend of mine. 他是我的朋友
[19:34] He’s very unlucky. 他就倒霉到不行
[19:37] Earl, 厄尔
[19:38] there’s no outside liquor. 不能从外面带酒
[19:40] ‘Cause it just makes us feel worse. 因为这会让我们感觉更糟糕
[19:42] This ain’t outside liquor. It’s from the diner. 这不是外面带的酒 这是餐厅的
[19:44] Can’t you tell by the beef floating in it? 从酒上飘的牛肉碎 你看不出吗
[19:48] Oh, my God. It’s not from outside. 天啊 这不是外面带的酒
[19:50] It’s from the diner. 是从餐厅内部
[19:51] Max, who owns the diner? 麦克斯 餐厅老板是谁
[19:53] Me, you, and an Asian squirrel. 我 你 还有一只亚洲松鼠
[19:56] Max, we don’t need a liquor license because… 麦克斯 我们不需要再申请许可证因为…
[19:58] We already have one. 我们已经有一个了
[20:00] Oh! I just did more math. 我又做了一道数学题
[20:02] Still not math! 这也不算数学
[20:06] I haven’t seen women move that fast 我上一次看女人跑这么快
[20:09] since the Activia recall. 是酸奶出现细菌污染被召回那次
[20:12] Here it is! 找到了
[20:14] Oh, my God, Han’s middle name is Margaret. 天啊 阿憨的中间名是玛格丽特
[20:17] Sometimes the universe just gives you a gift. 想不到天上真的会掉馅饼啊
[20:20] This entitles the owner, operator, operators… 凡持有该证的老板 经营者 经营者们…
[20:23] That’s us! 就是我们
[20:23] …of the Williamsburg Diner 威廉斯堡餐厅的经营者
[20:25] to serve alcohol to those persons 21 and over, 有权贩卖酒类给21岁以上顾客
[20:28] reserving the right to not serve those persons 以及不卖酒类商品给
[20:29] who do not supply valid ID! 不能出示有效证件客人
[20:31] Max, do you know what this means? 麦克斯 你知道这代表什么意思吗
[20:32] I am totally carding Han Margaret 我绝对要在憨·玛格丽特
[20:35] when he comes in our dessert bar, 来甜品酒吧时 检查他证件
[20:37] which is so opening tomorrow night. 我们酒吧明晚绝对能开幕
[20:40] Hey, every-baby. 各位宝宝安安
[20:43] Still preg… achoo! 还怀着…
[21:03] Are you guys seeing this too? 你们也看到这个了吗
[21:08] I’m never gonna forget it. 我这辈子都忘不掉了
[21:12] I think my water broke. 我的羊水好像破了
[21:15] Oleg! 奥列格
[21:15] Get out here and bring the mop bucket. 快拿水桶拖把出来
[21:17] Sophie’s in labor. 苏菲要生了
[21:18] Oh. I’m calling the car right now. 我现在就打电话叫车
[21:21] It says “Your Lyft driver is already here.” 上面写着”你的司机已到”
[21:24] Did somebody order a car? 有人叫车吗
[21:27] Look, it’s Minnie Driver. 是女演员明妮·德里弗[迷你司机]
[21:30] Sophie, we’re having a baby. 苏菲 我们的孩子要出世啦
[21:34] I’m scared. 我好怕
[21:36] She should be scared, 她的确该怕
[21:37] she’s wearing electric underwear. 她穿着通电内裤呢
[21:42] Slow, easy breaths. 慢慢来 深呼吸
[21:44] I am! 我有啊
[21:46] I was more talking to myself. 我其实是在跟自己说啦
[21:48] Don’t leave me in there alone. 别丢下我一个人啊
[21:51] You know I see dead people. 明知道我快死 现在都能看到鬼了
[21:54] It’s coming. 要来了
[21:55] It’s coming! 就要来了
[21:59] It’s here! 到了
[22:01] The baby? 孩子吗
[22:08] Well, a baby. 的确来了个”孩子”
[22:10] Oh, good, our goober driver’s here. 好了 我们的”幼”步司机到了
[22:12] Aren’t I suffering enough 为了从你俩手上赎回餐厅
[22:14] to get the diner back from you two? 我受的苦还不够吗
[22:16] I’m already driving for Lyft and Uber 我已经同时是滴滴和优步的司机
[22:19] and selling Molly out of that glove compartment. 副驾杂物箱里还有兼职卖的摇头丸呢
[22:21] Shotgun! 我要坐副驾
[22:25] Han, I hate to hit the stereotype of Asian women drivers, 阿憨 我不想说亚洲女司机车技都烂
[22:29] but could you speed the hell up? 但你他娘的能不能开快点
[22:31] Do you want to arrive quickly 你们是想快点到达
[22:33] or do you want to arrive safely? 还是想要安全到达
[22:35] A teddy bear doesn’t count as carpooling, lady! 放个泰迪熊你开毛多人车道啊 死婆娘
[22:40] I can’t have a car baby. 我孩子不能是车生儿
[22:42] Three of my brothers were born in the car. 我三个兄弟都是车上出生的
[22:45] On the way to the woods, 都是在去森林的路上
[22:46] where they were supposed to be born. 他们本应该在森林里出生
[22:49] Sophie, do you think you could move your seat up a scooch? 苏菲 你的座位能不能往前拉一点
[22:52] Only because I think my leg is broken. 只因我腿已压骨折
[22:55] This reminds me of a road trip I took one time 这让我想起有次公路旅行
[22:58] with Earth, Wind & Fire. 我跟大地风火乐团的人一起
[23:00] The car was so cramped, 结果因为车上太挤
[23:01] we had to leave Wind behind. 我们只好先放”风”下车
[23:03] I feel like someone just left some wind behind in here. 我觉得车上的某人屁股也放了”风”
[23:08] Signal much? 敢打灯吗
[23:12] Sophie, smile for the camera. 苏菲 冲镜头笑一个
[23:17] I don’t want to miss a minute. 我不想错过任何一秒
[23:19] No Golishevsky man has ever been there 我家族的男人还没有过任何一个
[23:21] for the birth of his child. 是孩子出世时在身边陪着的
[23:23] Why, because it’s bad luck 为啥 是因为看到
[23:24] to see your wife before she’s born? 自己的老婆出生会带来霉运吗
[23:27] You tell one story where your uncle marries his daughter, 跟人分享自己的叔叔娶了他女儿的故事
[23:30] and suddenly, you’re the incest guy. 突然之间 自己就被人当乱伦男
[23:33] Uh-oh. 惨了
[23:35] It’s happening. 真要生了
[23:38] Ah, I can feel the baby’s head. 我能感觉到宝宝的脑袋
[23:47] It’s your sandwich. 是你的潜艇堡啊
[23:50] It’s yours now. 送你吧
[23:54] All right. 好吧
[23:57] Sophie, you have to make it to the hospital. 苏菲 你得撑到医院啊
[23:59] I sold my rare toe-porn collection 我卖了我世面罕见的脚趾控黄片
[24:02] to pay for a fancy birthing suite. 订了高档产房呢
[24:05] I’m gonna give birth to this baby in style. 我要很有范儿地生下这孩子
[24:08] I won’t have to protect it from wild animals afterwards, 毕竟生完不需要担心有野生动物袭击
[24:11] you know, which is nice. 这感觉太好了
[24:14] Sophie, don’t get too comfortable in that suite. 苏菲 别在高档产房里待舒爽了才生
[24:16] You’re gonna need to drop it like it’s hot 一到医院就把孩子像
[24:18] the second we get to the hospital. 拉开插销的手榴弹一样扔出来
[24:20] Max and I have to get ready for our dessert bar opening. 我和麦克斯还得给甜品酒吧开幕做准备呢
[24:23] Baby on board! Move it or lose it! 车上有婴儿 挡我者死
[24:27] In their defense, it looks like no one’s driving this car. 替他们辩解下 他们看不出这车是有人驾驶的
[24:34] Excuse me, doctor? It’s been 12 hours. 不好意思 医生 已经12小时了
[24:37] Is there some way we could speed this up? 有没有什么方法能加速一下
[24:39] You know, jumping jacks, Indian food, 比如让她开合跳 吃印度菜拉出来
[24:41] a C-section? 或剖腹产
[24:43] Does she need to be in here? 她有在场的需要吗
[24:45] Yeah. 有吧
[24:48] Yeah, that one 这妞
[24:50] and the other one over there are the godparents. 跟那边那妞 是这孩子的干妈
[24:53] Max. 麦克斯
[24:55] Yeah, girl. 加油啊 老姐
[24:57] They’re not a couple. 她们不是一对
[24:59] Oleg thinks they do it a little though. 虽然奥列格觉得她们有一点拉拉倾向
[25:03] Only 1 centimeter. I don’t feel anything. 只开了一公分 还是没有出来的迹象
[25:06] It could be a while. 估计还得一阵
[25:07] Sophie, you may want to take off the Spanx. 苏菲 你最好把束腹裤脱了吧
[25:09] I’m pregnant. 我只是怀孕
[25:11] I’m not dead. 又不是死了
[25:15] Oh, man, tub legs. 坐浴缸脚麻了
[25:18] I’ll be back. 我会再回来
[25:19] But not because I want to. 不过不是因为我想回来
[25:23] Oleg, come on, film the room. 奥列格 赶紧啊 拍下这产房
[25:26] I want our baby to know that I was treated like a queen. 我想要孩子知道我曾有过女皇般待遇
[25:31] You know, I think Elton John had this room 我记得艾尔顿·约翰生孩子的时候
[25:33] when he gave birth. 好像就是在这间生的
[25:35] I’m sorry, I lost y’all. 抱歉 我刚才找不到你们
[25:37] I feel asleep on a gurney and woke up in the morgue. 我在轮床上睡着 醒来发现被人推到停尸间了
[25:43] I scared the pants off a bunch of med students. 我把一票医科学生给吓尿了
[25:49] Ooh, there’s my alarm. 我的闹钟响了
[25:51] I have to go have break-up phone sex with my ex, Randy. 我得去跟我的前男友兰迪打电话分手炮了
[25:54] Like you do. 就像你们一样
[25:56] Well, don’t go very far ’cause 别走太远
[25:58] Oleg gets fainty in hospitals 奥列格在医院
[26:00] and supermarkets that also sell clothing. 跟那些卖丑衣服的超市会头晕
[26:04] It’s just too much. 太难以接受了
[26:07] Max, you and Randy have had more sex since your break-up 麦克斯你跟兰迪打过的分手炮
[26:10] then I had with my college boyfriend. 比我跟我大学男友”做”过的还多次
[26:12] Granted, he was very busy with musical theater. 虽然他是因为当年醉心于音乐剧
[26:15] The only time we had sex was when he was in his Cats’ costume 我们唯一一次做爱 是他穿着《猫》的戏服
[26:18] and he asked me to give him a Rum Tum Tugger. 并让我以剧中帅猫身份来”宠幸”他
[26:21] The rule is 规矩就是
[26:23] you have sex five times before you’re broken up. 在正式分手前得”做”足足五次
[26:25] And this is number five. 而这是第五次
[26:26] Historically, the biggest, sweatiest, 根据过往经验 最盛大 汗水淋漓
[26:28] and the most butt-centric… 最以菊花为中心的一次
[26:30] his, not mine. 他的 不是我的
[26:31] So… 所以
[26:33] Do not disturb. 请勿打扰
[26:36] It’s facing the wrong way, and it’s very disturbing. 你平板拿反了 画面十分恶心人[打扰]
[26:40] Hey, Randy. 兰迪 你好啊
[26:41] Oh, sorry, I just, uh, just woke up. 抱歉 我… 刚起床
[26:44] Looks like you’ve been up for awhile. 感觉你已经”起立”一段时间啦
[26:46] Mind if I camp under that pup tent? 不介意我去你裤裆”帐篷”里待吧
[26:50] Can you go roast his marshmallows somewhere else? 你能去别的地方烤他的”串儿”吗
[26:56] Excuse me, there’s a VVVIP patient coming in 不好意思 有个超超超级贵宾要来
[26:59] who needs this room. 他们要求清出这间
[27:01] I don’t care what kind of disease they have. 我才不管他们是有啥病
[27:05] I’m not going. 老娘哪都不去
[27:10] Oh, my God. 天啊
[27:11] That’s supermodel Vanessa Nibotito. 是超模瓦妮莎·妮波迪托
[27:14] She’s pretty and smart. 她又漂亮又聪明
[27:16] It’s hard, right girl? 两者兼具很难吧 姐妹
[27:19] I… I paid for this room. 我付钱订了这间房呢
[27:20] That giant bag of quarters? That’s us! 那一大袋硬币是我们付的啊
[27:25] Is my baby bump seriously getting bumped 我的宝宝真的要被山寨版的我
[27:28] by a poor man’s me? 给挤去别间病房了吗
[27:31] I’m so sorry. 太对不住了
[27:33] I could send you a copy of my motherhood book if you’d like. 有兴趣我可以叫人送你一本我的怀孕全纪录
[27:36] The lady I paid to write it did a great job. 我请的代笔写得可好了
[27:41] Oh, wait… wait a minute, no… I’m not going anywhere. 等等 等等 不要 我哪都不去
[27:43] No, wait a minute. 不要 等等
[27:44] Wait, I’m not… no, I’m not going. 等等 我不要走 我不要
[27:46] You can’t make me. No, wait a minute. 你们不能逼我 别啊
[27:48] Wait a min… oh, wait, wait, wait. 等等 等等 稍等一下
[27:50] Oh, look, I’m getting a little arm workout here. 你们看 我在这还能做点手部锻炼呢
[27:57] Sophie, the hospital is saying they bounced us from the room 苏菲 医院说他们把我们赶出病房
[28:00] because we took too long. 是因为我们拖太长时间了
[28:01] They’re offering us a cot near the burn unit of the ICU. 给我们一张重症监护室烧烫伤科旁的小床
[28:06] Well, 好吧
[28:07] ICU don’t understand that I’m not having this baby 看来他们的人不知道
[28:11] until I get back in my suite. 我没回到那间房是不会生的
[28:13] That’s a hard “No,” Chris. 克里斯 她打死也不要
[28:16] Guess who just flirted her way into a free carpal tunnel glove? 猜猜谁调情骗来了免费的腕管综合症手套
[28:19] Some girls flirt their way into a sugar daddy; 某些女孩调情勾引干爹
[28:22] I get medical supplies. 而我则是免费医疗用品
[28:25] And more good news… 好消息不止如此
[28:26] Did you get me my room back? 你把我病房要回来了吗
[28:27] No, those days are over. 那段好日子已经过完了
[28:28] We’re hallway people now. 咱们现在是走廊游民的命
[28:30] But I was able to print out flyers for our dessert bar. 但我趁机给甜品酒吧打印了传单
[28:33] I’d love to give them a rounded edge. 我想给传单弄成圆边
[28:35] Do you have scissors? 你有剪刀吗
[28:36] Are you kidding me? 你是不是闹呢
[28:38] Of course I do. Look in my bag. 我当然有啦 我包里给你找
[28:41] Sophie, they’re offering us a full-size bed, 苏菲 他们愿意给我们完整大小病床
[28:44] but it’s in an MRI machine. 但是是在核磁共振机里
[28:46] I think we should take it. 我觉得我们该接受
[28:49] Dessert bar opening tonight. 甜品酒吧今晚开幕
[28:50] We have a ramp. 我们有轮椅专道
[28:52] Excuse me, coming through. Coming through. 不好意思 借过 借过
[28:55] A-lister about to give birth. 有大牌病人要生了
[28:58] Oh, my God. 天啊
[28:59] Celebrity doctor, Nancy Gonzales! 明星医生 南希·刚萨雷斯
[29:02] You know, I wear your perfume. 我喷的就是你出的香水呢
[29:05] Nancy, you might have heard, dessert bar opening tonight. 南希 你可能有听说 甜品酒吧今晚开幕
[29:09] Someone needs to control the hallway people. 来个人管管这些走廊游民
[29:13] Randy. 兰迪
[29:18] Max! 麦克斯
[29:22] That wasn’t me, it was naughty nurse Wanda. 不是我 是调皮护士旺达
[29:26] I was about to give Wanda a shot. 正打算给旺达”来一针”
[29:28] Well, she was gonna give it to herself, 应该说是她要给自己”来一针”
[29:29] but I was gonna tell her exactly how to do it. 只不过我会指导她准确该怎么”做”
[29:32] Max, isn’t playing doctor in a hospital 麦克斯 在医院玩色情医生俏护士
[29:35] a little on the nose? 也太没哏了吧
[29:36] I like to be on theme. 我喜欢有个主题嘛
[29:37] We can play pirate and lusty wench 如果是在海鲜速食餐厅
[29:39] when I’m in a Long John Silver’s. 我也能跟他玩淫荡海盗娇村姑啊
[29:41] No, you won’t because we’re not allowed in there 你不能 因为我们就是因为这原因
[29:43] for that very reason. 上了店里的黑名单
[29:45] Plus, didn’t you already have your fifth time? 而且你不是已经搞过第五次了吗
[29:47] You see, Caroline, break-up sex in LA is six times. 卡洛琳 是这样的 洛城的分手炮是6次
[29:51] It’s the DeVito-Perlman rule. 明星夫妻雷亚与德维托的规矩
[29:52] Rhea forgot her yoga mat, and five limoncellos later, 雷亚闹分手时回家拿瑜伽毯 五瓶甜酒下肚
[29:55] boom! 一炮
[29:56] The rest is history. 剩下的就是过往云烟了
[29:59] He’s a lawyer so we have to listen to him. 他是律师 所以我们得听他的
[30:04] Dessert bar opening tonight. 甜品酒吧今晚开幕
[30:06] Sophie, any progress in your nethers? 苏菲 你下面有点动静了吗
[30:08] ‘Cause our dessert bar opens in five hours, 我们甜品酒吧再五小时要开幕了
[30:10] and it promises I’ll be there on the flyer. 而传单上写了我本人保证会在现场
[30:12] Dessert bar opening tonight. I’ll be there. 甜品酒吧今晚开幕 我会在场哦
[30:16] Did you really have to refer to yourself as 你真的要把自己称呼为
[30:17] “New York’s Own Caroline Channing”? “纽约招牌卡洛琳·钱宁”吗
[30:21] She’s coming. Hallway people, clear a path. 她要出来了 走廊游民 闪开
[30:27] Congratulations 恭喜你啊
[30:29] because you’re invited to our dessert bar opening. 因为你被邀请出席甜品酒吧开幕
[30:32] You can bring the baby if you want, 你可以带你的婴儿一起来
[30:33] but I wouldn’t love it. 不过我不会太高兴
[30:35] What’s dessert? 甜点是什么
[30:39] I’m still tweeting that she’s coming. 我还是要发微博说她会来
[30:42] I’m taking the suite back, girls. 我要把这间病房抢回来了 姑娘们
[30:45] Roll me in! 推我进去
[30:47] Yeah, we’re not hallway people anymore. 没错 我们又不是走廊游民啦
[30:57] How long can sushi be sitting out? 寿司可以放多久不坏
[31:03] Ooh, not that long. 没多久
[31:05] What about this one? 那这个呢
[31:07] Max, don’t. 麦克斯 别啊
[31:08] It promises on the flyer 传单上也保证了
[31:10] that you’ll be at the dessert bar opening too. 你到时候也会在甜品酒吧开幕现场
[31:12] It’s in smaller letters, but it’s there. 虽然用的字号比较小 但还是有写啊
[31:17] Oh. I got here as fast as I could. 我尽最快速度赶来了
[31:19] To take the baby out? 来把宝宝接生出来吗
[31:20] No, to see the model. 不 是来看超模啊
[31:23] Um, she’s gone. 她已经走了
[31:24] She kept saying, “Where’s Doctor Gomulka?” 她一直念叨”哥穆尔卡医生在哪”
[31:26] Really? 她真叫我了吗
[31:27] No, no one’s ever said that. 没有 永远不会有人这么说
[31:29] Well, since I’m already disappointed, 反正已经失望至极
[31:32] I guess I’ll take a look under the hood. 我就再看一眼单子底下吧
[31:35] Oleg, you know how I love to have a snack 奥列格 你知道我很喜欢
[31:38] when I get my exam. 被检查时吃零食吗
[31:41] I’ll go to the gift shop and grab you some 我这就去礼品店给你买一些
[31:42] chocolate-heavy trail mix and some Hubba Bubba. 巧克力坚果包跟口香糖
[31:47] Oh, and Oleg! 奥列格
[31:48] Turn the bag upside down and… oh. 把袋子反过来然后…
[31:51] He knows. 他懂我要求
[31:54] Well, if I were a gambling man, I’d say 如果我是个赌徒 我大概会赌
[31:56] it’ll be at least five hours. 至少五小时后出生吧
[32:03] And that’s how I lost my house. 我就是这么赌输掉我房子的
[32:07] Nurse, I need something to cut the umbilical cord. 护士 我需要东西剪脐带
[32:09] Oh, I… wait, wait. 等等 等等
[32:11] You’re in luck. 你运气真好
[32:19] Sophie, 苏菲
[32:21] you did great. 你太棒了
[32:23] You’re a mother. 你现在是个母亲了
[32:24] Also, gesundheit. 祝你健康
[32:27] Aw, the baby’s beautiful. 宝宝真好看
[32:29] Oh, my God. 天啊
[32:31] I had the baby! 我把孩子生下来了
[32:34] And Oleg missed it. 而奥列格错过了这一刻
[32:36] Oh, and he had his heart set on seeing the baby being born. 他一早就下定决心要看着孩子出世
[32:41] And he missed it. 结果他错过了
[32:42] He’s never gonna forgive himself! 他永远不会原谅自己
[32:45] He’s never, never, never, never, never, never… 他永远永远永远永远永远永远…
[32:49] Please, Sophie, calm down. 别这样 苏菲 冷静
[32:51] Maybe Oleg didn’t miss it. 或许奥列格没错过
[32:54] It worries me how little you know about science stuff. 你对科学的无知好让我担心啊
[32:58] We’ll fake the birth. 我们可以来一场假生产嘛
[33:01] You’re asking me to help you fake a birth? 你是在叫我帮忙搞一场假生产吗
[33:04] You’ll be fine. You’ve faked an orgasm. 你能行 你都假高潮过了
[33:09] Well, that’s true. 好吧 的确
[33:13] We have to make Oleg pass out long enough to bring 我们得想办法让奥列格晕过去够长时间
[33:15] the baby in and make him think he just missed 才能把宝宝抱回来 再让他以为
[33:17] a second of the actual birth. 他其实只是走神了一下子
[33:19] Sophie, act like you’re in labor. 苏菲 快假装你要生了
[33:20] Just yell and tell Oleg you wish you never met him. 就大叫 然后说早知道就不该认识奥列格
[33:23] It should be easy. 应该很好演
[33:25] He’s coming. Places. 他来了 各就各位
[33:29] Sorry it took so long, but the lady in front of me 抱歉这么久才回来 但排我前面的女人
[33:31] paid for her Jujubes with a third-party check. 要用背书转让支票来付软糖钱
[33:35] Oh, I’m in pain! 我好疼啊
[33:38] Oh, I’m about to have a baby 我要生下孩子啦
[33:41] for the first time! 第一次呢
[33:43] Okay. I’m ready. 好了 我准备好了
[33:45] I popped a Pepto and what I’m now realizing 我随手拿了罐东西喝 现在我意识到
[33:47] was a laxative. 那是泻药
[33:50] Oleg, 奥列格
[33:52] you stay out of the splash zone. 快躲到溅射范围外
[33:53] It’s go time. 要生啦
[33:55] Oh, there is some seriously birthy stuff going on down here. 这底下有好些触目惊心不忍直视的东西
[33:59] Oh, should we get a doctor? 要不要去叫医生来啊
[34:01] Even a girl one? 没男的叫女的也好
[34:03] There’s no time! 没时间了
[34:04] Because of all the oozing gunk! 各种恶心分泌物大量喷出
[34:09] Push, Sophie, push! 用力 苏菲 用力
[34:12] You… you… you… 你 你 你个贱人
[34:16] you did this to me 都是你的害的
[34:17] with your gorgeous penis! 用你让我爽翻天的肉棒害惨我
[34:22] We’re both sorry! 我跟他都很对不起
[34:24] Max, anything else disgusting going on down there? 麦克斯 下面还有什么恶心的状况吗
[34:28] Oh, yeah, we got a real sick situation here. 这下面的状况简直要恶心死人啊
[34:31] Oh, man, there’s a lot of placenta goo. 天啊 好多胎盘粘液
[34:37] I haven’t been this woozy since I was in a Super Target. 我上次这么晕是进了一家超大型廉价超市
[34:42] I’m not going down. 我不会晕倒的
[34:43] I’m not going down. 我打死不晕
[34:44] The wet, sludgy baby is fighting through the slime! 湿哒哒黏糊糊的宝宝正在努力通过粘液
[34:52] Oh, girls, quick. 姑娘们 快点
[34:54] He’s down. Get the baby! 他晕了 快去抱孩子过来
[35:01] Oh, my God. All right. 天啊 好了
[35:04] All right, now, to wake him up, 行了 现在把他弄醒吧
[35:06] yell “Immigration” or tickle his… 喊”移民局”或痒他的…
[35:09] Immigration! 移民局来啦
[35:11] What’d I miss? 我错过什么了
[35:13] Look, Oleg. 你看 奥列格
[35:15] The baby is here. 宝宝生下来啦
[35:19] And it’s a girl. 是闺女
[35:21] She has a bejoonie, just like her mama. 她也有个小洞洞 就像她妈妈
[35:25] She’s beautiful, just like her mama. 她真漂亮 就像她妈妈
[35:28] Yeah. 是啊
[35:29] Do you want to hold her? 你想抱她吗
[35:31] Yeah? 真的吗
[35:33] Yeah. 真的
[35:39] Look. 你看
[35:42] That’s your daddy. 他是你爸爸
[35:43] Let her get settled in the world 等她熟悉了这世界
[35:45] before you start giving her bad news. 再开始告诉她坏消息吧
[35:48] Hello, baby. 宝宝 你好
[35:50] Barbara! 芭芭拉
[35:53] Barbara Kuchenski Golishevsky! 芭芭拉·科臣斯基·高列彻夫斯基
[35:57] Oh, that sounds real musical, doesn’t it? 听起来很有旋律感 对吧
[36:01] Depends what kind of music you listen to. 看你都听哪种音乐了
[36:04] Aww, she’s so cute. 她好可爱啊
[36:07] Barbara’s a definite? 真确定叫芭芭拉了吗
[36:09] Yeah. 对啊
[36:10] I’m your godmother. 我是你干妈
[36:12] One day I’m gonna teach you how to lie to these two. 有一天我会教你怎么撒谎骗这两人
[36:16] And also this one. 还有这个人
[36:22] Look at all those people at our door. 看看这么多人等在我们门外
[36:25] And not a torch in the mix. 而且没人带着火把要寻仇
[36:28] Oh, Earl. Are you lost again? 厄尔 你又走丢了吗
[36:30] The diner is next door! 餐厅是在隔壁
[36:34] Don’t confuse him. He’s our bouncer. 别害他搞混 他是我们酒吧看门人
[36:36] You’re our bouncer! 你是我们酒吧看门人
[36:38] Now, you don’t really expect everybody on this list 你不会真指望你名单上所有人
[36:41] to show up, now, do you? 都会出席开幕式吧
[36:42] ‘Cause Liam Hemsworth and I are in a Twitter feud. 利亚姆·海姆斯沃斯跟我微博上在撕逼呢
[36:46] Okay, some of it may have been wishful thinking, 好吧 名单上有几个的确是有点痴心妄想
[36:48] but I did text 2 Chainz. 但我给二链子发短信了
[36:51] We met him on a private plane once. 我们有一次跟他在私人飞机上遇见
[36:52] I gave him my digits. 我给了他我的号码
[36:54] Uh, 2 Chainz, is that a person or a dress code? 二链子 是人名还是种着装方式
[36:57] It’s both. 两者皆是
[37:01] Earl, 2 Chainz is a famous rapper. 厄尔 二链子是知名饶舌歌手
[37:04] Oh, my God, 2 Chainz is here… ah! 天啊 二链子来了
[37:07] I’m letting 2 Chainz the famous rapper in before we open. 我要让知名饶舌歌手二链子在我们开幕前进来
[37:14] What’s up, Double C? 最近好吗 琳琳
[37:16] She prefers to be called, “New York’s Own Double C.” 她比较喜欢被人称呼”纽约招牌大波琳妹妹”
[37:20] Sup? 最近好吗
[37:21] I can’t believe you made it to our dessert bar. 真不敢相信你真的来我们甜品酒吧
[37:23] I can’t believe anybody knows what a dessert bar is. 我真不敢相信有人知道甜品酒吧是什么
[37:27] Are you kidding? 你在开玩笑吗
[37:28] Sugar and alcohol go hand in hand. 糖与酒最搭了
[37:30] It’s two great tastes that taste great together. 两种美妙滋味合而为一
[37:32] Like how I seamlessly fuse new-school and old-school flows. 就像我完美融合了新派与老派的旋律
[37:37] Well, now I get it. 现在我能理解了
[37:41] Why didn’t you just say that, girls? 你们为什么不这么跟我解释呢
[37:45] Now, can I get one of those flan-tinis, please? 我能来一杯果馅马丁尼吗 麻烦啦
[37:48] Look, sorry I didn’t recognize you, 2 Chainz. 二链子 抱歉我之前没认出你
[37:50] I let my subscription to Vibe expire in 1984. 我的音乐杂志1984年到期后就没续订了
[37:54] Oh, that’s okay. 没事的
[37:56] I think they give discounts for return customers. 他们好像有给回头客折扣
[37:58] Oh, really? 真的吗
[38:00] Well, well, well! 哎哟哟
[38:03] Look who opened up a bar 看看谁在我
[38:05] after I denied them a liquor license. 拒批许可证后开了家酒吧啊
[38:07] Well, well, well, look who decided 哎哟哟 看看是谁
[38:09] to wear ladies’ pants hoping no one would notice. 穿了女人裤子 还希望没人会发现啊
[38:13] J. Petto, what are you doing here? 劫佩托 你来干嘛
[38:15] How did you know we were opening? 你怎么知道我们今天开幕
[38:16] I definitely didn’t give you a flyer. 我绝对没给你发过传单
[38:18] I follow 2 Chainz on Twitter, 我有粉二链子的微博
[38:21] sometimes in my car. 有时候也在车里跟踪[粉]他
[38:24] Just so you know, I have 911 on speed dial. 告诉你 我一键就能打给警察
[38:29] Our liquor license, sir. 这是我们的酒水许可证
[38:32] Uh, this belongs to the Williamsburg Diner. 这是威廉斯堡餐厅的酒牌
[38:35] They’re the same property. We own the diner. 他们属于同家店 餐厅也是我们的
[38:37] They’re related, 两家店同出一脉
[38:38] like Alec and whoever the grossest Baldwin is. 就像帅大叔亚历克·鲍德温跟最丑的
[38:43] Daniel. 丹尼尔·鲍德温是兄弟
[38:45] You can’t use another establishment’s liquor license. 你不能用其他生意的酒水许可证
[38:48] I’m shutting you two down 我要勒令你们关闭
[38:50] and I’m slapping the owner of the diner 我还要罚款餐厅的老板
[38:52] with a $25,000 fine. 两万五千元罚款
[38:54] Who is this bitch? 这个贱人到底是谁
[38:58] Just some mean, little man with 就是个卑贱小人
[39:00] nothing better to do on a Friday night than ruin our lives. 大周五晚上没事干 就要跑来毁我们人生
[39:04] Not true; I’m taking my aunt 才不是 这里完事后我还得
[39:05] to drag bingo right after this. 带我阿姨去变性人宾果游戏呢
[39:08] Well, girls, 姑娘们
[39:11] I managed to make it here after this dog fornicated 这狗搞遍全绿点区的母狗后
[39:14] his way across Greenpoint. 才肯跟我过来这里
[39:17] Been there. 我去过
[39:18] Done that. 我搞过
[39:20] Here’s $300. 这里是三百块
[39:22] My earnings after working 12 jobs 这是我打了12份工
[39:25] and being robbed 4 times. 又被抢劫过4次后剩下的钱
[39:27] Twice by the same girl. 被同一个女的抢了两次
[39:31] You can have your diner back. 你可以要回你的餐厅
[39:33] We feel bad about taking it from you, 我们不忍心从你手里抢走餐厅
[39:34] and also the owner of the diner owes 而且餐厅的老板得付
[39:36] old butt-chin here and the city $25,000. 老屁股下巴哥跟市政府两万五罚款
[39:40] What? 什么
[39:41] The diner is mine again? 餐厅又是我的啦
[39:42] Yeah, sorry. 对啊 抱歉
[39:45] Yes! 太好啦
[39:46] Yes! Yes! 太好啦 太好啦
[39:48] I have my baby back. 我的宝宝又回到我手里啦
[39:50] You have baby everything. 你全身哪里不是宝宝大小
[39:52] I’m shutting you down for 14 business days. 我要勒令你们关门14个工作日
[39:56] And you’re getting a bill in the mail 而你会收到一封罚款信
[39:58] with very confusing instructions. 上面还会有非常让人不解的指示
[40:00] And… 还有
[40:02] I’m having my birthday here. 我要在这里办我的生日会
[40:05] Let’s bounce, 2 Chainz. 咱们走 二链子
[40:10] So long, pal. 再见啦 兄弟
[40:11] You’re gonna have to find someone else to use as a chew toy. 你得找别人来当你的磨牙玩具了
[40:16] Oh, man. 好吧
[40:18] Sorry about the bar, girls. 酒吧的事真遗憾啊 姑娘们
[40:20] I mean, guess I’m gonna have to get me a bottle of rose 看来我只能跟你外带瓶酒
[40:23] and head over to Mrs. Fields’ again. 然后去费尔斯太太饼干店里喝了
[40:27] Does she have a sister? 她有姐妹吗
[40:29] Or a color TV? 或者是彩色电视呢
[40:31] See you later, girls. 再见啦 姑娘们
[40:32] It look like I’m gonna go party with the old man right here. 看来我得跟这位老先生一起去派对啦
[40:40] Can you guys just give us another minute? 各位能再多等我们一会
[40:43] Or 14 business days? 或者14个工作日吗
[40:46] The only thing that opened and closed faster than us 唯一比我们还短命的大概只有
[40:48] was Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot. 不卖座电影《威士忌 探戈 狐步舞》了
[40:51] Well, at least I didn’t get a blow out for this. 幸好我没特别花钱去弄头发
[40:53] That lessens the sting of a failed opening. 让开幕失败所带来的伤痛轻了一点
[40:55] Are you kidding? 开什么玩笑
[40:56] I think this is gonna make us more popular. 我觉得这会让我们更炙手可热
[40:58] You know how people always want what they can’t have. 人永远都会想要他们得不到的东西
[41:01] Like you with everything. 就像你想要所有东西一样
[41:03] If that’s true, then why do you look upset? 如果这是真的 你为什么看起来很难过
[41:06] ‘Cause Randy and I are really broken up. 因为我跟兰迪真的彻底分手了
[41:09] We burned through the Affleck-Garner clause, 各种分分合合的明星夫妻条款
[41:12] the Cox-Arquette addendum. 或者招数都被我们拿来用过了
[41:14] As soon as we got to the Bieber-Gomez principle, 直到最终我们要用比伯跟戈麦斯原则时
[41:16] we were ashamed of ourselves. 我们都看不起自己了才结束
[41:19] Max, you’re the queen of not following the rules. 麦克斯 你可是破坏规矩界的女王
[41:21] “Rules, schmules,” You say. 你不是说”规矩 屁矩”吗
[41:23] Yes! 对啊
[41:24] Rules, schmules! 规矩 屁矩
[41:26] And condoms, schmondoms. 还有保险套 屁险套
[41:30] Yeah, that one’s not great. 这个就不怎么样
[41:32] What I’m saying is you make stuff up. 我的意思是你总自己想出新东西
[41:34] Like this dessert bar. 就像这个甜品酒吧
[41:35] And that was a great idea. 而这是个很棒的点子
[41:37] So you should make up rules for you and Randy. 所以你也应该为你和兰迪定个新规矩
[41:40] ‘Cause it really seems like you guys care about each other. 因为感觉你们真的很在乎彼此啊
[41:42] Yeah, you’re right. 好吧 你说得对
[41:44] Break-up, schmake-up. 分手 分屁手
[41:46] Now, go call Randy 去吧 打给兰迪
[41:47] and make me want to burn my iPad. 恶心到我想烧掉我的平板吧
[41:51] Go, I’m begging you. 去吧 求你了
[41:54] Yeah, we’re gonna kill it 我们绝对会大展宏图
[41:55] in 14 business days. 只要再等14个工作日就行了
破产姐妹

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