| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | “Between two groups of people | 在两个都想 |
| [00:07] | who want to make inconsistent kinds of worlds, | 一统世界的团体之间 |
| [00:10] | I see no remedy but force.” | 只有无法调和的暴力冲突 |
| [00:12] | Oliver Wendell Holmes. | 奥利弗·温德尔·霍姆斯 |
| [00:17] | There was a point where all I saw were feathers. | 有一瞬间我看到了羽毛 |
| [00:19] | Then I started swinging. | 然后我就开始乱打 |
| [00:21] | And then I hit something and heard someone fall. | 好像打到了什么东西 我听到有人摔倒 |
| [00:27] | Could’ve been somebody from my side. | 有可能是我们这边的人 |
| [00:31] | In 2012, Greendale Community College | 2012年 社区大学史上 |
| [00:33] | was the site of the largest and longest pillow fight | 规模最大 持续时间最长的枕头大战 |
| [00:36] | in community college history. | 在格林德尔社区大学爆发 |
| [00:38] | It shaped and scarred the landscape of their campus | 一时间狼烟四起 烽火连天 |
| [00:41] | and forever changed the lives of those involved. | 生灵涂炭 人人自危 |
| [00:45] | A health care administration student, | 医护管理专业的学生 |
| [00:47] | who turned the storage room into a sanctuary for soldiers | 将储藏室变为 |
| [00:50] | with broken glasses and lightly grazed testicles. | 眼镜碎裂和轻度”蛋疼”伤兵的避难圣所 |
| [00:54] | A high school dropout and amateur photographer | 高中辍学的业余摄影师 |
| [00:56] | whose borrowed camera would capture | 用借来的相机捕捉 |
| [00:57] | some of the war’s blurriest, most poorly framed moments. | 战火中的一幕幕拍成最模糊最差劲的照片 |
| [01:03] | A disgraced former lawyer | 被吊销执照的前任律师 |
| [01:05] | whose words would inspire tens of students | 巧舌如簧 煽风点火 怂恿学生们 |
| [01:07] | to take up pillows and fight, | 拿起枕头 投入战斗 |
| [01:09] | most likely to avoid an upcoming test. | 貌似是为了逃避即将到来的考试 |
| [01:12] | A loving wife and mother who would prove to be | 有爱的贤妻良母 |
| [01:14] | as skilled at kicking asses as she was at wiping them. | 证明了她不仅擅长擦屁股更擅长打屁股 |
| [01:19] | The dried-up heir to a moist towelette empire, | 湿巾帝国的干巴老头继承人 |
| [01:22] | who would prove to be the dried-up heir | 证明了他确实是 |
| [01:24] | to a moist towelette empire. | 湿巾帝国的干巴老头继承人 |
| [01:27] | The sensitive high school quarterback | 身手敏捷的高中四分卫 |
| [01:28] | who became commander in chief of his own army. | 成为了拥兵自重的总司令 |
| [01:31] | He would later say of the war, “It was awesome, | 战后 他评价道”这一仗很赞 |
| [01:33] | but also, it wasn’t.” | 但它又很脑抽” |
| [01:36] | And his socially dysfunctional best friend | 他那社交能力故障的死党 |
| [01:39] | turned bitter rival, | 成为了他的死敌 |
| [01:40] | an uncompromising tactical mastermind feared by all | 一个态度强硬的战略天才 |
| [01:44] | yet unable to pay parking tickets | 让那些付不起违规停车付款 |
| [01:46] | or know left from right without mouthing the pledge of allegiance. | 和没有宣读效忠誓言的家伙们畏惧无比 |
| [01:49] | The rift in their friendship would carry their school | 他们友谊的裂隙将让他们的学校 |
| [01:51] | into a conflict lasting days, | 在接下来的日子里卷入战火 |
| [01:54] | costing hundreds of dollars | 耗费了成百上千的美刀 |
| [01:55] | and resulting in over 12 transfers. | 导致超过十二笔资金捐助泡汤 |
| [01:58] | There are people who say, “I don’t get it. | 有人称”我不明白 |
| [02:02] | So it was a pillow fight,” | 不就是场枕头大战嘛” |
| [02:04] | To which I say… | 对此我只能说 |
| [02:05] | “You weren’t there.” | “眼见为实” |
| [02:12] | Jeffrey, you have to come mediate Troy and Abed. | 杰夫瑞 你得为特洛伊和阿布蒂调解下 |
| [02:15] | – They look up to you. – What’s with the film crew? | -他们都崇拜你 -哪来的摄影师 |
| [02:17] | – Don’t worry about that. – Oh, I am worried about that. | -别管了 -我当然得管 |
| [02:20] | If there’s one thing I’ve learned at this place, | 我在这学到了一个道理 |
| [02:21] | It’s that a film crew means disaster. | 有摄像机就意味着灾难即将到来 |
| [02:23] | Okay, they are here to document | 好吧 他们是来公证 |
| [02:24] | Greendale’s Guinness record, | 格林德尔的吉尼斯世界纪录的 |
| [02:25] | which you are going to make sure we get | 所以为了我们能破这个纪录 |
| [02:27] | by talking to Troy and Abed right now. | 你现在得马上去找特洛伊和阿布蒂谈谈 |
| [02:29] | – This is your fault. – No, it’s your fault. | -都是你的错 -才不 是你的错 |
| [02:31] | – This is your fault. – Your fault. | -是你错了 -是你错 |
| [02:32] | – Your fault! – Your fault! | -是你 -是你 |
| [02:33] | Okay, I’ve got good news for both of you. | 行了 我有个好消息要告诉你们 |
| [02:35] | Neither of you has to apologize because what you’re doing | 你们谁也用不着道歉因为你们俩 |
| [02:38] | is equally ridiculous. | 所干的事是同样的荒谬 |
| [02:39] | So here’s the solution I’m pitching. | 现在我提出一个解决方案 |
| [02:40] | I’m giving you two imaginary friendship hats | 我将给你们两顶虚拟的友谊之帽 |
| [02:43] | that automatically make you friends again. | 只要戴上它你们的友情会自动和好如初 |
| [02:45] | Are we done? | 接受吗 |
| [02:47] | Sorry, Jeff, but this matter’s a little more serious than that. | 抱歉 杰夫 这次事态有点小严重 |
| [02:49] | No, it’s not. | 不 才没有 |
| [02:50] | You’re children acting like grown-ups. | 你们是成人的躯体幼齿的心 |
| [02:53] | I mean, it’s fine. | 我是说 这样很好 |
| [02:53] | But just don’t pretend it’s anything but that. | 但不要拿它不当回事 |
| [02:56] | Troy Barnes and Abed Nadir. | 特洛伊·巴恩斯和阿布蒂·纳迪亚 |
| [02:59] | Friends so close, they once graced the cover | 亲密死党 曾荣登 |
| [03:01] | of Friends Weekly, a pretend magazine of their own design. | 自制虚假刊物《友谊周报》的封面 |
| [03:05] | Earlier that day, they begin construction | 那一天的早些时候 他们开始 |
| [03:07] | on a fort made of pillows. | 建造枕头城堡 |
| [03:09] | Its name– New Fluffytown. | 城堡名为 新蓬蓬城 |
| [03:11] | Its goal– to be a newer, fluffier town than Fluffytown, | 以标示它是一个比他们去年建的蓬蓬城 |
| [03:15] | their blanket fort from the previous year. | 更新更蓬松的城堡 |
| [03:18] | New Fluffytown don’t care who you were. | 新蓬蓬城笑迎八方来客 |
| [03:20] | You were surrounded by softness. | 温柔舒软广纳天下人 |
| [03:24] | It’s just like crawling through a hug. | 就像在某人的怀抱中爬行 |
| [03:27] | Well… | 当然 |
| [03:29] | I guess all hugs have to come to an end. | 我想每个拥抱都有撒手的时候 |
| [03:33] | When an opportunity arises for a world record, | 当打破世界纪录的机会出现的时候 |
| [03:36] | it creates a rift. | 死党间的矛盾爆发了 |
| [03:38] | Troy wants to go for the record | 特洛伊想要打破纪录 |
| [03:40] | using blankets for rapid expansion. | 使用毯子迅速扩大规模 |
| [03:43] | Abed insists on pillows, | 阿布蒂坚持使用枕头 |
| [03:45] | declaring world records to be dumb. | 宣称追求纪录是很傻的事 |
| [03:47] | Troy declares the declaration lame, | 特洛伊称 此言差矣 |
| [03:49] | stating that thinking records are dumb is stupid. | 说认为打破纪录傻才是真傻 |
| [03:53] | He secedes from New Fluffytown | 他退出了新蓬蓬城的搭建队伍 |
| [03:55] | and begins constructing Blanketsburg | 并开始着手在校园的另一边 |
| [03:57] | on the other side of the campus. | 搭建毯子堡 |
| [03:58] | Abed renames his fort Pillowtown | 阿布蒂把城堡重新命名为枕头城 |
| [04:00] | for the sake of conceptual symmetry. | 以求概念上相互对称 |
| [04:02] | Both forts expand until both are in each other’s way. | 两个城堡皆极力扩张 直逼彼此阵下 |
| [04:07] | Study room “F,” 3:00 P.M., | 下午三点 第六自习室 |
| [04:09] | things quickly reach their boiling point. | 矛盾冲突迅速达到了爆发点 |
| [04:11] | – You stand back. – Watch it, Star-Burns. | -你给我站住 -注意点 星霸 |
| [04:13] | My name is Alex! | 人家叫亚历克斯 |
| [04:16] | A softly lobbed, hypoallergenic Sealy select | 一个低致敏性席伊丽牌 |
| [04:19] | in a floral print case | 精选印花枕头 |
| [04:20] | collides with a load-bearing broomstick, | 划着舒缓的抛物线撞上了承重的扫帚 |
| [04:23] | collapsing a queen-sized section of blanket fort. | 导致毯子城堡大片区域坍塌 |
| [04:26] | You saw that. They knocked it down! | 你看见了吧 是他们弄倒的 |
| [04:31] | Stop, let’s go! | 停手 我们撤 |
| [04:34] | Jeffery! Jeffery, find me! | 杰夫瑞 杰夫瑞 救我啦 |
| [04:37] | – Get back! – Jeffery! | -快回来 -杰夫瑞 |
| [04:38] | It was later named “The Study Room Kerfuffle.” | 这次骚乱日后被名为”自习室之乱” |
| [04:41] | Protect everyone! | 保护大家 |
| [04:42] | Protect Pillowtown! | 捍卫枕头城 |
| [04:43] | Jeffrey, you’re not mediating. | 杰夫瑞 你压根就没有在调解 |
| [04:45] | Ah, dean, what do you want me to say, huh? | 院长 你想让我说些什么 |
| [04:47] | I mean, some conflicts are so pointless, | 我是说 有些冲突实在是毫无意义 |
| [04:49] | they just have to play themselves out. | 他们只需冷眼旁观就能体会到 |
| [04:50] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [04:52] | The Legit Republic of Blanketsburg | 毯子堡共和城 |
| [04:53] | says Pillowtown has until midnight tonight | 同意枕头城于今晚午夜 |
| [04:55] | to surrender its territory. | 撤出原有领土 |
| [04:57] | The United Forts of Pillowtown declines the request. | 枕头城联邦堡拒绝该请求 |
| [04:59] | It’s not a request. | 这不是请求 |
| [05:00] | I’m giving you an “All tomato,” | 这是你吃不吃敬酒的问题 |
| [05:02] | meaning that you give me the whole tomato or else. | 你要么全交出来要么自己看着办 |
| [05:05] | Or else what? | 看着办什么 |
| [05:09] | See you at midnight. | 午夜见 |
| [05:11] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [05:15] | Do people go to classes? | 他们还上不上课了 |
| [05:17] | The deadline divides friendships, | 最后期限临近 |
| [05:19] | families, even study groups. | 朋友 家人 学习小组组员反目成仇 |
| [05:21] | Pierce Hawthorne takes Troy’s side, | 皮尔斯·霍桑加入特洛伊一方 |
| [05:23] | Citing that Abed is weirder and more foreign. | 因为阿布蒂性格更怪 家乡也更遥远 |
| [05:25] | Shirley Bennett decides her allegiance | 雪瑞·伯纳德在给丈夫的短信里 |
| [05:27] | in a text message to her husband. | 表明了自己的立场 |
| [05:30] | I’ll be home late, sugar boots. | 达令 我要晚点回家 |
| [05:31] | Abed hurt Troy’s feelings by being a robot. | 阿布蒂这个冷血动物伤了特洛伊的心 |
| [05:34] | Need to stay with my boy to make sure | 我得陪在他身边 |
| [05:35] | Britta doesn’t put him on the weed. | 谨防布雷塔唆使他吸大麻 |
| [05:36] | Please record Forensic Files. | 记得录下《法医档案》哦 |
| [05:39] | Troy appoints Shirley Bennett | 特洛伊任命雪瑞·伯纳德 |
| [05:40] | as his second-in-command, at which point, | 为其副指挥官 有鉴于此 |
| [05:42] | Pierce switches to Abed’s side. | 皮尔斯叛变到了阿布蒂阵营 |
| [05:45] | There were those who thought that midnight might come and go, | 有些人以为就算午夜来临 |
| [05:48] | and nothing would happen. | 也不会有什么事 |
| [05:50] | Well, I was in Korea, and I knew the sound of crap | 但我上过朝鲜战场 那山雨欲来的声音 |
| [05:53] | when it was about to hit the fan. | 我再熟悉不过 |
| [05:56] | You know what it sounded like? | 知道是什么样的动静吗 |
| [06:01] | That’s right, Jackson. | 没错 杰克逊 |
| [06:04] | Silence. | 一片死寂 |
| [06:05] | Midnight comes, and a campus holds its breath. | 午夜来临 整个校园的人都屏气凝神 |
| [06:09] | I know there’s a lot of blanket stackers and pillow packers out there | 我知道毯子军团和枕头部队都有不少人 |
| [06:12] | thinking it’s going to go down tonight. | 觉得熬不过今晚了 |
| [06:13] | But there’s a lot of us folks from the scene in between | 但我们中间派还有很多人 |
| [06:16] | saying, “Hey, we’re all looking to chill out | 心里正想着”闹剧早点结束 |
| [06:18] | and lay down with someone special.” | 回家老婆孩子热炕头咯” |
| [06:20] | This is real Neil with pipes of steel, | 我是钢管真相帝尼尔 |
| [06:23] | signing off with the smooth sounds | 伴随着柔和的拂晓之音 |
| [06:25] | of daybreak. | 我们下次再见 |
| [06:31] | I gotta get this on film. | 一定要把这段录下 |
| [06:32] | I am straight trouncing spaz in Go Fish. | 我赢定了 摸底技术太好了 |
| [06:36] | Dude, what are you doing? | 老兄 你干啥呢 |
| [06:36] | Don’t record this. | 别录了 |
| [06:38] | Come on! | 别这样 |
| [06:39] | Wait, did you hear that? | 你听见了吗 |
| [06:40] | What the hell is that? | 什么玩意儿 |
| [06:44] | 12:07 A.M. | 凌晨零点零七分 |
| [06:45] | Blanketsburg soldiers charge a pillow fort in the library. | 毯子军团士兵攻向图书馆的枕头城堡 |
| [06:48] | The pillowtonians move quickly to defend. | 枕头部队迅速前往防御 |
| [06:51] | There were no rules in that first battle. | 那一仗打得毫无章法 |
| [06:53] | You hit someone, and if they went down, | 见人就打 对方倒下了 |
| [06:55] | you stop hitting them. | 你就收手 |
| [06:57] | Call that common courtesy. | 这算是基本礼节吧 |
| [07:00] | Then what if they get up? | 要是倒下又爬起来呢 |
| [07:01] | Do you maybe keep hitting them till they learn to stay down? | 你会不会一直打到他爬不起来呢 |
| [07:05] | We call that common sense. | 这就叫基本常识 |
| [07:09] | The battle lasts six minutes. | 战斗持续了六分钟 |
| [07:11] | No territory changes hands. | 双方互无攻陷 |
| [07:13] | Blanketsburg has drawn first blood. | 毯子军团首开杀戒 |
| [07:15] | Pillowtown will draw first blood part II. | 第二部 枕头部队血洗敌方 |
| [07:18] | Citizens of Blanketsburg, I ask you now | 毯子堡人民 我在此号召 |
| [07:24] | to prepare for war. | 大家准备战斗 |
| [07:26] | And I ask Garrett to please fix the microphone on my laptop. | 另外请加瑞立即修好我笔记本上的麦克风 |
| [07:31] | it’s doing that thing again. | 它老毛病又犯了 |
| [07:36] | The United Forts of Pillowtown | 枕头城联邦堡 |
| [07:38] | and the Legit Republic of Blanketsburg | 和毯子堡共和城 |
| [07:40] | are at war, | 开战了 |
| [07:41] | Each side attempting to kick down and replace the other. | 双边都想攻陷对方 占据阵地 |
| [07:45] | The unmoving line between them | 这条羊毛漫天飞的烽火战线上 |
| [07:47] | is a campus-wide, fleece-laden strip | 充斥着枕头与枕头的碰撞 |
| [07:50] | of pillow-to-pillow combat. | 你来我往 互不相让 |
| [07:53] | Britta Perry attempts to capture | 布雷塔·派利想要用胶片 |
| [07:54] | the war’s sublime indignities on film. | 捕捉到战争最卑劣的一面 |
| [07:58] | Unfortunately for Britta | 可惜呀 在此奉劝布雷塔 |
| [08:00] | and millions of photographers like her, | 以及另外几百万跟她一样的拍客 |
| [08:02] | just because something is in black and white | 别以为把照片拍成黑白的 |
| [08:04] | doesn’t mean it’s good. | 就是牛逼的照片 |
| [08:06] | Rules are agreed upon, but casualties are inevitable. | 尽管有约在先 但伤亡在所难免 |
| [08:12] | Outside the science lab, | 科学实验室门外 |
| [08:13] | at the battle of big bulletin board, | 公报栏一役 |
| [08:15] | Pierce Hawthorne suffers broken glasses, | 皮尔斯·霍桑眼镜碎裂 |
| [08:17] | A hurt finger, and erectile dysfunction, | 手指受伤 勃起不能 |
| [08:20] | which, in his words, had never happened ever Before that battle. | 据他所言 此前他从未有过此类问题 |
| [08:24] | Pillows, but no sleep. | 枕头遍地 却无安睡 |
| [08:27] | Feathers, but no birds. | 羽毛漫天 却无鸟雀 |
| [08:28] | Pajamas without children. | 身着睡衣 不是童颜 |
| [08:30] | Violence without purpose. | 激烈暴动 不知何为 |
| [08:32] | I saw mommy kissing exxon mobil. | 眼见妈咪亲吻埃克森美孚[美国炼油公司] |
| [08:35] | Amanda Johnson. | 阿曼达·约翰逊 |
| [08:36] | Poet by choice, lesbian by birth. | 吟诗作对皆自愿 蕾丝百合本天生 |
| [08:40] | Even Jeff Winger, who, before the war, | 就连杰夫·翁格 这个战前 |
| [08:42] | lacked interest in it, has now found a leading role. | 对战事毫无兴趣的人也成长为了军事领袖 |
| [08:45] | Soldiers of Blanketsburg, | 毯子堡的士兵们 |
| [08:48] | we fight not because we want war. | 我们不是为了战争而战争 |
| [08:50] | We fight, | 战争 |
| [08:52] | That we might gain peace! | 是为了赢得和平 |
| [08:54] | Winger’s critics suggest | 有批评者指出 |
| [08:56] | He merely improvised hot-button patriotic dogma | 他煽风点火 鼓动狂热爱国主义情怀 |
| [08:59] | in a Ferris Buellerian attempt to delay schoolwork. | 是为了逃避作业 就像《春天不是读书天》里一样 |
| [09:03] | Winger decries the accusation as, | 对于这种批评 翁格公开谴责道 |
| [09:05] | “A slanderous betrayal akin to 9/11.” | “这种造谣中伤无异于911” |
| [09:08] | Later after the war, | 战争结束后 |
| [09:10] | he would refer to the theory as “Essentially accurate.” | 他又会改口称其”基本正确” |
| [09:14] | Annie Edison provides humanitarian relief For both sides. | 安妮·埃迪生为敌对双方提供人道救援 |
| [09:17] | Her text conversations with Jeff Winger give us a glimpse | 从她与杰夫·翁格的短信对话中 |
| [09:21] | beneath the cushions of war to the lost pennies | 我们可以窥见在枕垫战争之下 |
| [09:23] | and grody q-tips of war’s emotional toll. | 因战争情感创伤而耗费的钱财和棉签 |
| [09:28] | Jeff, heard from one of Troy’s soldiers about a speech | 杰夫 我听特洛伊那边的一个士兵 |
| [09:31] | you gave to troops at the blanket fort. | 说起了你在毯子堡发表的演说 |
| [09:33] | Wish this war could be over. | 希望战争早点结束 |
| [09:34] | But proud of you for taking a stance. | 但你能站出来 我为你骄傲 |
| [09:36] | Text message. | 短信 |
| [09:37] | Annie Edison. | 安妮·埃迪生 |
| [09:39] | Thank you, Annie. | 谢谢 安妮 |
| [09:40] | I’m proud of you too and of us all. | 我也为你和大家感到骄傲 |
| [09:42] | Also with the nightmare would end. | 我也希望噩梦早点结束 |
| [09:44] | But using what I’m given to give what I can. | 但在此之前 我会尽力而为 |
| [09:46] | Jeff Winger. | 杰夫·翁格 |
| [09:47] | Jeff, just heard from one of Abed’s soldiers | 杰夫 我刚听阿布蒂那边的士兵说 |
| [09:49] | that you gave an identical speech to troops at pillowtown. | 你在枕头城也发表了相同的演说 |
| [09:51] | Wtf? Sad face. | 搞什么 哭丧脸 |
| [09:53] | Special icon of a downward thumb. | 特殊标志 大拇指向下 |
| [09:55] | Annie, okay, you caught me. | 好吧 被你发现了 |
| [09:56] | I prefer war to homework. | 比起写作业 我宁可打仗 |
| [09:58] | How do you do that little thumb icon? | 你那个拇指标志怎么打出来的 |
| [10:00] | I can’t find it on my phone. | 我在手机里找不到 |
| [10:01] | Jeff Winger. | 杰夫·翁格 |
| [10:03] | Jeff, you’re disgusting. | 杰夫 你真恶心 |
| [10:04] | Troy and Abed’s friendship is at stake. | 特洛伊和阿布蒂的友谊可是岌岌可危 |
| [10:06] | You can buy special icons and packages at the app store. | 你可以在APP商店买到特殊标志和表情包 |
| [10:09] | Piece of sushi, birthday cake, stop sign, snowman, umbrella. | 寿司 生日蛋糕 停车标志 雪人 雨伞 |
| [10:12] | Annie Edison. | 安妮·埃迪生 |
| [10:14] | Pierce Hawthorne, humiliated | 皮尔斯·霍桑 |
| [10:15] | in the Battle of Big Bulletin Board, | 因为在大公告栏一役受辱 |
| [10:17] | wants a chance to redeem himself. | 希望找机会一雪前耻 |
| [10:19] | I’m working on something. Look at this. | 我研究了点东西 你看 |
| [10:24] | You can build this? | 你能造出来吗 |
| [10:25] | You just give me the pillows. | 你得给我提供枕头 |
| [10:27] | I hope to God we’ll never have to use it. | 希望我们永远也不会用上它 |
| [10:30] | Oh, me too. | 我也这么想 |
| [10:31] | Rumors of Hawthorne’s weapon find their way to Troy. | 霍桑武器的流言传进了特洛伊耳中 |
| [10:34] | Troy Barnes will take no chances. | 特洛伊·巴恩斯不敢忽视这一消息 |
| [10:36] | He turns to Ben Chang, Greendale’s chief of security, | 他向格林德尔保安总管本·昌寻求帮助 |
| [10:39] | rumored to be literally psychotic, | 据传言 此人患有神经病 |
| [10:42] | and who has been kept on the sidelines until this moment. | 直到此刻 他才被正式卷入这一纷争中 |
| [10:55] | Chang has recruited an army of preteen security interns | 昌在当地举办的一场成人礼兼职时 |
| [11:00] | while moonlighting at a local bar mitzvah. | 招募了一批少年安保实习生 |
| [11:02] | They were later nicknamed “The Changlorious basterds,” | 他们之后被命名为”猖耻混蛋” |
| [11:05] | like Inglourious Basterds, | 跟无耻混蛋差不多 |
| [11:08] | but with “Chang” instead of “In.” | 只是把”无”换成了”猖” |
| [11:10] | I don’t get it either. | 我也没懂槽点在哪 |
| [11:12] | Most of the soldiers in this war | 这场战争中的士兵们 |
| [11:14] | hadn’t fought with a pillow in years. | 大都很久没持枕头打仗了 |
| [11:16] | These little bastards, | 可这些小混蛋 |
| [11:18] | pillow fighting was a way of life for them. | 枕头大战对他们来说再寻常不过了 |
| [11:20] | 电影《无耻混蛋》中布拉德·皮特率领的士兵 杀掉法西斯后割掉他们的头皮做纪念 | |
| [11:20] | One of the interns said they were making necklaces out of mattress tags. | 其中一名实习生说他们还拿床垫标签做项链 |
| [11:24] | This is when things get as ugly as they can get… | 这场战争已经变得丑恶至极了 |
| [11:24] | 安妮·埃迪生 战场天使 | |
| [11:26] | while still being a pillow fight. | 虽然不过只是场枕头大战 |
| [11:30] | Crazy war, huh? | 疯狂的战争 不是吗 |
| [11:31] | I heard Chang’s kids are really ducking stuff up. | 听说昌手下的那群孩子为虎作伥 |
| [11:33] | Hey, check it out. I downloaded that thing. | 对了 快看看 我下了那些表情 |
| [11:35] | Birthday cake, birthday cake, unicorn, woman’s shoe. | [蛋糕] [蛋糕] [独角兽] [高跟鞋] |
| [11:38] | How’s the nurse thing going? | 医护工作进行得怎样 |
| [11:40] | No response. | 不予回复 |
| [11:43] | You guys like pillows? | 你们不是喜欢枕头吗 |
| [11:44] | How do you like these pillows? | 来尝尝这些枕头的滋味吧 |
| [11:46] | The Changlorious Basterds have turned the war | 猖耻混蛋将这场战争变成了 |
| [11:48] | into a chaotic sea of high-thread-count terror. | 纺织物漫天飞舞的混乱海洋 |
| [11:51] | Under advice from his top general, | 听取了最高统帅的意见后 |
| [11:53] | Abed sees no choice but to unleash his doomsday device. | 阿布蒂只得启动他的末日装置 |
| [12:02] | You’re going to die, you little bastards! | 你们都去死吧 小混蛋们 |
| [12:05] | What the heck is that? | 这他妈是啥玩意 |
| [12:06] | He is part man, part pillow… | 他是个半人半枕的怪物 |
| [12:09] | All carnage. | 极具破坏力 |
| [12:13] | Pierce Hawthorne has transformed himself | 皮尔斯·霍桑把自己改造成了 |
| [12:16] | into an unstoppably plush juggernaut. | 势不可挡的羽毛破坏神 |
| [12:19] | Guys, guys, let’s retreat. Go, go! | 伙计们 快撤 撤啊 |
| [12:21] | The war won’t stop with First Blood Part II. | 《第一滴血第二弹》中战争仍未停止 |
| [12:24] | It will escalate to Rambo iii, | 战事将升级成为《蓝博第三弹》 |
| [12:26] | which should really be called Rambo II: First Blood Part III. | 其实应该叫做《蓝博第二弹之第一滴血第三弹》 |
| [12:28] | But the Rambo titles never made sense. | 真不知道为啥要起《蓝博》这个名字 |
| [12:30] | And neither does war. | 这战争也很是无厘头 |
| [12:32] | Abed Nadir. | 阿布蒂·纳德尔 |
| [12:33] | Facebook status update. | Facebook状态更新 |
| [12:36] | Leonard likes this post. | 伦纳德很喜欢这条状态 |
| [12:46] | Why are you ignoring me? | 你为什么不理我 |
| [12:47] | What’s the point of talking to you? | 跟你聊天没什么意思 |
| [12:49] | Your words don’t mean anything. | 你说的内容毫无意义 |
| [12:50] | They’re just things you say to get what you want. | 说这些只不过为得到自己想要的东西 |
| [12:52] | Well, that’s what conversation is, Annie. | 这就是谈话的真谛 安妮 |
| [12:54] | People saying things to get stuff. | 为了达到自己的目的 |
| [12:56] | Then maybe you should just shut up. | 那你还是闭嘴好了 |
| [12:59] | Do you ever just… | 你就从没 |
| [13:00] | write stuff down in a journal, Jeff? | 写过日记吗 杰夫 |
| [13:02] | One you don’t show people or use to get anything with? | 记录自己最真实 不愿为人所知的情感 |
| [13:05] | A place that’s just for you to… | 一片属于自己的洁净之地 |
| [13:07] | sort out the truth? | 用于审视自我本真 |
| [13:08] | If I write stuff down in a Hello Kitty book, | 如果我在凯蒂猫记事本上写东西 |
| [13:10] | will you like me again? | 你还会对我有好感吗 |
| [13:13] | I’m taking that as yes. | 我默认你说”会”了 |
| [13:15] | The war brings out the worst in people. | 战争暴露出了人性的丑恶 |
| [13:18] | Worse yet, Troy’s forces intercept an email | 更可怕的是 特洛伊的士兵截获了一封 |
| [13:21] | written by Abed to his commanders, | 阿布蒂写给指挥官的邮件 |
| [13:23] | outlining Troy’s weaknesses. | 其中尽数指出了特洛伊的弱点 |
| [13:25] | Troy will hold on until he is broken emotionally. | 特洛伊在情感崩溃前是不会倒下的 |
| [13:27] | Fortunately, this will not be hard. | 庆幸的是 击垮他并不难 |
| [13:29] | He gets distracted by loud noises, | 这些东西会让他分神 噪声 |
| [13:31] | the color red, smooth jazz, shiny things | 红色 抒情爵士乐 闪亮亮的东西 |
| [13:33] | food smells, music boxes, bellbottoms, | 食物香气 音乐盒 喇叭裤 |
| [13:36] | boobs, barking dogs, | 胸器 狂吠的狗 |
| [13:37] | and anyone saying, “Look over there!” | 以及随便谁对他说”瞧那边” |
| [13:38] | He’s insecure about his level of intelligence. | 他对自己的智商信心不足 |
| [13:41] | His greatest vulnerability of all is his emotional frailty. | 他最大的弱点是有一颗小男生柔弱心 |
| [13:43] | It’s incredibly easy to make him cry. | 气哭他简直易如反掌 |
| [13:45] | And he’s incredibly ashamed of that fact. | 他还觉得哭鼻子无比丢人 |
| [13:46] | Get away! | 走开啦 |
| [13:47] | Unfortunately, the only photographer there | 不幸的是 捕捉到这一镜头的 |
| [13:49] | to capture the scene is Britta Perry. | 只有布雷塔·派利一个人 |
| [13:52] | Yeah, gee. | 水平真次啊 |
| [13:54] | There’s a good one. | 这里有张好的 |
| [13:56] | Pictured here lying down, | 照片中虽已躺下 |
| [13:57] | Troy’s does not take Abed’s email lying down. | 但特洛伊绝不会对这封邮件忍气吞声 |
| [14:01] | Hey, Dick. Read your dumb email. | 听着 傻逼 看过你的邮件了 |
| [14:03] | Really enjoyed it. Guess what? | 写得很不错 知道吗 |
| [14:05] | You may have been my best friend, | 你也许是我最好的朋友 |
| [14:07] | but we both know I was your first friend. | 但大家都清楚 我是你的第一个朋友 |
| [14:08] | And what I know but you don’t know | 还有我心知肚明而你因有心理问题 |
| [14:10] | because you have mental issues | 所以毫不知情的事情是 |
| [14:11] | is that you’re never going to have another friend. | 你绝不会再有其他朋友 |
| [14:13] | Because–all caps– | 因为 下面这句大写 |
| [14:15] | NOBODY ELSE WILL EVER HAVE MY PATIENCE WITH YOU. | 别人都没我这份耐心 |
| [14:18] | Troy Barnes. Four-part text message. | 特洛伊·巴恩斯 短信分四次发送 |
| [14:21] | Word got around these two were now hurting each other’s feelings. | 听说这两人在相互伤害对方的感情 |
| [14:25] | And I thought about what Annie said, | 我想了想安妮说的话 |
| [14:28] | and then I thought about what I might do to make things right. | 然后又想自己该做些什么来挽回局面 |
| [14:33] | At 8:00 p.m. of the second night, | 第二天晚上八点 |
| [14:35] | both sides are honoring an agreed upon cease-fire | 两方都在纪念停火 |
| [14:37] | so that the infantry can watch the hit TV show | 士兵们因此可以观看热播剧集 |
| [14:39] | Ski, Shoot, Sing, | 《滑雪·射击·高歌》 |
| [14:41] | a combination biathlon singing competition, | 冬季两项竞技与唱歌结合的选秀节目 |
| [14:44] | which was no fun to watch time-shifted | 如果按时间顺序看会觉得很没劲 |
| [14:46] | because then you’d be the last to know who won. | 因为大家都喜欢最先被剧透 |
| [14:49] | During the cease-fire, | 停火期间 |
| [14:50] | Jeff summons Troy and Abed to a secret summit meeting. | 杰夫召集特洛伊和阿布蒂进行秘密峰会 |
| [14:54] | – This has to stop. – Tell him. | -该停手了 -这话对他说 |
| [14:55] | Me? What about your email? | 我 谁先发的邮件 |
| [14:57] | You weren’t supposed to see that. | 那又不是给你看的 |
| [14:58] | You weren’t supposed to think those things. | 你就不该有那些想法 |
| [14:59] | Guys, look at yourselves. | 伙计们 瞧瞧你们啊 |
| [15:01] | You didn’t used to be like this. | 你们以前可不这样 |
| [15:03] | You were Troy and Abed. | 你们以前是特洛伊和阿布蒂 |
| [15:05] | Things used to be easy. | 开开心心 毫无纷争 |
| [15:06] | He’s right. | 他说的没错 |
| [15:09] | – Our friendship is dead. – What? | -我们的友谊已尽 -啥 |
| [15:11] | Yeah, I think we should agree right now | 没错 我们现在就应该达成共识 |
| [15:12] | that whoever wins this war can stay in the apartment. | 谁赢这场战争 谁就能留在公寓里 |
| [15:15] | Loser has to find a new place. | 输家要搬出去 |
| [15:17] | Agreed. | 同意 |
| [15:22] | Uh, I wanted that to go different. | 这可不是我想要的结果 |
| [15:28] | The north cafeteria, | 诺斯食堂 |
| [15:30] | named after admiral William North, | 以威廉·诺斯上将而命名 |
| [15:32] | is located in the western portion of east hall, | 在东厅的西面 |
| [15:35] | Gateway to the western half of north hall, | 大门口正对着北厅的西半侧 |
| [15:37] | Which is named not after William North, | 这可不是根据威廉·诺斯命名的 |
| [15:39] | But for its position above the south wall. | 仅仅是因为它在南墙的北面 |
| [15:42] | It is the most contested and confusing battlefield | 这是格林德尔校园里 |
| [15:44] | On Greendale’s campus, | 最诡异的战场了 |
| [15:46] | Next to the English Memorial Spanish Center, | 紧邻英国人纪念西班牙人中心 |
| [15:48] | Named after English Memorial, | 以英国人纪念中心命名 |
| [15:50] | A portuguese sailor that discovered Greendale | 他是一名葡萄牙的水手 在寻找 |
| [15:52] | while looking for a fountain that cured syphilis. | 能治梅毒的喷泉时 发现了格林德尔 |
| [15:55] | In a fit of hurt feelings, Troy redirects most of his infantry | 由于情感受挫 特洛伊再次发动他的部队 |
| [15:59] | to the cafeteria. | 进攻食堂 |
| [16:00] | They arrive at the same time | 100名枕头城的士兵 |
| [16:02] | as 100 pillowtown troops. | 几乎同时到达战场 |
| [16:08] | Just after dawn, the end of the war begins. | 夕阳西下 生死搏杀开始了 |
| [16:14] | Big cheddar coming! | 吃老娘一击 |
| [16:38] | Aah! Okay, I’m out. | 打中了 我死了我死了 |
| [16:40] | Okay I am dead. | 别打了 我死了 |
| [17:17] | Well, that’s it. | 闹够了 |
| [17:18] | I just heard from the guinness rep. | 我刚从吉尼斯纪录代表那儿得知 |
| [17:19] | He’s not coming. | 他不来了 |
| [17:21] | He’s been fired, in what he described | 他被解雇了 用他的话说 |
| [17:23] | as the world’s biggest mistake. | 简直是天下之最大谬误 |
| [17:25] | I doubt that will make the next edition. | 我估计也没下文了 |
| [17:27] | Anyway, it’s over. | 啥也别说了 都撤了吧 |
| [17:29] | What a colossal waste of 2 1/2 days. | 这2.5天全白费了 |
| [17:34] | The war has no more reason to continue, | 战争没有理由再进行下去了 |
| [17:37] | And yet it does between the two that began it. | 但是两位发起者却不愿停止 |
| [17:41] | They just kept fighting. | 他们就那么一直打啊 |
| [17:44] | Like, for hours. | 打了N个小时 |
| [17:48] | Come on, guys. Let’s wrap this up. | 行了 伙计们 咱们来解决这件事儿吧 |
| [17:50] | I don’t want to. | 我不想 |
| [17:51] | – Me neither. – Why not? | -我也不想 -为什么啊 |
| [17:52] | This is going to be the last thing we ever do together. | 这将是我们俩一起做的最后一件事了 |
| [17:54] | We can’t stop. | 所以我们不能停 |
| [17:56] | Doesn’t that kind of solve your problem? | 这不正好解决了你们俩的问题吗 |
| [17:58] | The realization that you like each other so much, | 你们俩都意识到还深深地爱着对方啊 |
| [18:00] | you’d hit each other with pillows forever? | 你们总不能拿着枕头打对方一辈子吧 |
| [18:04] | Knowing that doesn’t feel like enough anymore. | 知道这一点还不够解决我俩的问题 |
| [18:06] | Yeah. We’re grown-ups now. | 对 我俩现在都是成年身 |
| [18:08] | We have grown-up problems. | 我们也有了成长的烦恼 |
| [18:09] | That’s very clear. | 这倒是 |
| [18:13] | Unless… | 除非 |
| [18:15] | You use those magical friendship hats that I got for you. | 你们可以用我给你做的神奇友谊帽啊 |
| [18:18] | We’re not stupid, Jeffrey. | 杰夫瑞 我们又不傻 |
| [18:19] | We know you made those sarcastically. | 我们知道你做那玩意儿是为了嘲笑我们 |
| [18:23] | And I will roll my eyes at both of you when I put them on your heads | 我给你们戴帽子的时候还翻你们俩白眼儿呢 |
| [18:26] | because that’s the way I am. | 因为我生来如此 |
| [18:28] | But that’s not the way you have to be. | 但你们不用也像我一样世俗 |
| [18:41] | We might be interested. | 给我们戴帽子吧 |
| [18:42] | Okay, then. | 好 那么 |
| [18:46] | Here’s your magical friendship hat, and– | 这是你的神奇友谊帽 |
| [18:48] | – Jeff. – What? | -杰夫 -怎么了 |
| [18:50] | You left the magical friendship hats | 你把神奇友谊帽 |
| [18:52] | at the dean’s office. | 落在院长办公室了 |
| [18:55] | Of course. I’ll go get them. | 好吧 我这就去取来 |
| [18:58] | So Jeff went out, | 杰夫跑了出去 |
| [18:59] | and he stayed out long enough to make them believe | 在外面呆了一会儿 时间足够使他们相信 |
| [19:01] | He had gone back to the office. | 他确实去了院长办公室取帽子 |
| [19:03] | That was a nice touch. | 真的好感人 |
| [19:09] | There you go. | 这是你的 |
| [19:11] | Lucky no one grabbed them, huh? | 幸好没人把他们拿走 |
| [19:18] | Britta perry is there to immortalize | 布雷塔·派利让这一幕 |
| [19:20] | The moment on film… | 永远定格在了胶片上 |
| [19:22] | Accidentally while trying to get a picture of the light | 其实是她在拍旁边华夫饼的时候 |
| [19:25] | hitting a stack of nearby waffles. | 不经意间抓拍到的 |
| [19:27] | Pierce, take that off. | 皮尔斯 赶紧把那身儿脱了吧 |
| [19:29] | I can’t hear you! Your cheeks are in the way. | 我听不见你说什么 你们的脸太碍事了 |
| [19:31] | First entry in my stupid journal. | 我愚蠢日记的第一篇 |
| [19:32] | Today I had to run and get two imaginary friendship hats | 今天我必须跑到院长办公室去拿想象中 |
| [19:36] | from an office. | 那两顶友谊帽 |
| [19:37] | I could’ve just walked around the corner | 我本可以在走廊里绕两圈 |
| [19:38] | and the come back, but for some reason, | 就直接回去 但不知道怎么回事 |
| [19:40] | I actually went all the way back | 我确实跑回了 |
| [19:42] | to where they were supposed to be. | 院长办公室 |
| [19:43] | One was crumpled up a bit. That was Troy’s. | 一顶有点儿折皱 那肯定是特洛伊的 |
| [19:45] | The other was just a little dusty. That was abed’s. | 另一顶落了些尘土 应该是阿布蒂的 |
| [19:48] | I fixed them up even though I was the only one watching | 我把它们整理好 尽管只有我一个人在看 |
| [19:51] | because I settled on a truth today | 因为我今天明白了一个真理 |
| [19:53] | That’s always going to be true. | 一个亘古不变的真理 |
| [19:55] | I would do anything for my friends, | 我会为我的朋友做任何事 |
| [19:57] | which I think is how everyone in the world feels, | 这让我了解世人的感受 |
| [20:00] | which finally makes me understand war. | 让我最终明白了战争的真谛 |
| [20:05] | Guys… | 好朋友们 |
| [20:08] | I wasn’t going to show this to anyone, | 我不会给任何人看的 |
| [20:09] | but, uh, it’s pretty profound. | 因为 这太深邃了 |
| [20:11] | I kind of nailed it. | 但我搞定了 |
| [20:13] | If you want, I can read it in the documentary. | 如果你想知道 我会在纪录片里面读出来 |
| [20:16] | That is, unless you get Tom Hanks. | 当然你得找来汤姆·汉克斯来读旁白 |
| [20:18] | We tried to get Tom Hanks, | 我们跟他联系过 |
| [20:19] | but he’s too expensive. | 但他要价太高 |
| [20:20] | So we used the people involved for their own voiceover. | 所以我们就请当事人给自己做画外音了 |
| [20:23] | Yeah, and I nailed that too. | 没错 我也搞定这个了 |
| [20:25] | Why are you here at the same time as me? | 你怎么又扮演你又扮演我啊 |
| [20:26] | Tight schedule. | 时间紧任务重啊 |
| [20:27] | – Hey, were you in the cape? – No. | -你穿着斗篷吗 -没 |
| [20:32] | 1-800-555-0199 | 拨打免费电话 |
| [20:33] | I’ve got goosebumps. | 看得我都起鸡皮疙瘩了 |
| [20:35] | Me too. Such a great story. | 我也是 多好的剧情啊 |
| [20:36] | I was on the edge of my seat, and I was in it. | 丝丝入扣 我完全被带入进去了 |
| [20:38] | You want to know what struck me while I was watching | 你知道我在看这部精彩绝伦的纪录片时 |
| [20:39] | that marvelous documentary? | 什么最触动我吗 |
| [20:41] | You can’t get quality programming like that | 你在别处根本找不到这么高质量的纪录片 |
| [20:42] | anywhere else but right here on Greendale Campus Television. | 只有格林德尔校园电视台才有 |
| [20:44] | Just thinking that same thing. | 我也是这么觉得的 |
| [20:46] | You can’t get | 在别的台你不可能看到 |
| [20:46] | Troy and Abed: Pillows and blankets. | 《特洛伊和阿布蒂 枕头与毯子》 |
| [20:48] | Or any of these other great specials, | 或者其他精彩的特别篇 |
| [20:49] | Like Craig Pelton: A year in Paris. | 比如《克拉格·派尔顿 巴黎一年》 |
| [20:51] | From labs to riches: The Annie’s boobs story | 《从屌丝到高富帅 安妮的胸器轶事》 |
| [20:53] | Or That’s Enter-Chang-Ment. | 或《娱乐之昌》 |
| [20:55] | Folks, we know you hate these constant pledge drives. | 观众朋友们 我知道你们讨厌一成不变的生活 |
| [20:58] | We know you hate them. We don’t love doing them. | 我们知道你们讨厌 我们也不喜欢 |
| [20:59] | We don’t like doing them either. | 我们也不喜欢 |
| [21:00] | I’d rather be at home right now. | 或许我现在应该在家里 |
| [21:02] | Okay, taking a warm bath with my wife. | 和我心爱的老婆好好泡个热水澡 |
| [21:03] | Old brother, not doing this again. | 老兄 差不多得了 |
| [21:06] | But if you want to help us out, | 如果你想帮我们 |
| [21:07] | you want to help Greendale campus televison stay on the air. | 你还想让格林德尔校园电视台继续播出的话 |
| [21:10] | Keep the lines on. | 猛打电话吧 |
| [21:11] | We are this closely to lose our | 我们马上就要失去我们的 |