| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:18] | I’ve got to find Mom and Dad! | 我要去找妈妈和爸爸 |
| [00:20] | Princess Blossom, wait! | 开花公主 等等 |
| [00:24] | Mom?! Daddy? | 妈妈 爸爸 |
| [00:29] | Princess, please, it’s not safe. | 公主 别这样 这里不安全 |
| [00:32] | Umm, no shit, Patrick. | 废话 帕特里克 |
| [00:33] | That guy has an axe through his fucking face. | 那家伙的脸上插了一把斧头 |
| [00:36] | We need to get you away from here. | 我得带你离开这儿 |
| [00:38] | I wonder if before he died, he had time to think, | 我在想 他死之前有没有时间想 |
| [00:40] | “Oh, fuck, there’s an axe in my face.” | “操 我脸上有一把斧头” |
| [00:47] | What the? | 我操 |
| [00:49] | – Blossom! – My sweet baby! | -开花 -我亲爱的宝贝 |
| [00:50] | Mommy! Daddy! | 妈妈 爸爸 |
| [00:54] | Patrick killed the Minotaur and saved me. | 帕特里克杀了弥诺陶洛斯 救了我 |
| [00:57] | – What? No way. – Seems unlikely. | -什么 不可能 -似乎不太可能 |
| [01:00] | What’s all that racket out here? | 在这儿吵啥呢 |
| [01:02] | I’m trying to do a crossword puzzle. | 我在做填字游戏 |
| [01:04] | Pipe down unless you can help me. | 你们要是帮不了我就闭嘴 |
| [01:06] | “Greetings for an elderly dog,” 11 letters. | “给一条老狗的问候” 11个字母 |
| [01:09] | You old bitch! | 你这个老娼妇 |
| [01:11] | I was hoping you died up here and nobody told me. | 我之前希望你死在这里而没人告诉我 |
| [01:14] | Hello, brother dear. Look who got overthrown. | 你好啊 亲爱的弟弟 看看谁被推翻了 |
| [01:18] | And is that Tulip? I barely recognized you. | 这位是图莉璞吗 我差点没认出你来 |
| [01:21] | Goodness, middle age ran over your face, | 天哪 岁月爬上了你的脸庞 |
| [01:23] | then backed up and did it again. | 还备份再爬了一遍 |
| [01:25] | Shut up, Aunt Donna. | 闭嘴 唐娜姑妈 |
| [01:27] | You are in danger, too, you nasty old shitghoul. | 你也一样危险 恶心的老僵尸 |
| [01:33] | Assassin! | 刺客 |
| [01:36] | Ugh, this dick again. | 又是这家伙 |
| [01:37] | You’re so annoying. | 你太讨厌了 |
| [01:38] | Stop ruining my life! | 别再糟蹋我的生活了 |
| [01:40] | My plan worked perfectly. | 我的计划运行得很完美 |
| [01:42] | Your best knights died in the maze, | 你最优秀的骑士死了在迷宫里 |
| [01:45] | leaving your castle ripe for the taking. | 要拿下你的城堡便易如反掌 |
| [01:48] | We have an army, you shit-for-brains. | 我们有一支军队 你脑子进屎了吧 |
| [01:50] | What’s your plan when they show up? | 等他们来了你还有什么计划 |
| [01:53] | Release us now, and no harm will come to you. Mostly. | 马上放了我们 你就不会受到伤害 基本上 |
| [01:58] | Some light torture probably, but essentially no harm. | 可能会有些轻微的折磨 但基本没有伤害 |
| [02:01] | Time for the rightful ruler to take her place on the throne. | 是时候让正义的统治者登上王座了 |
| [02:06] | Long live Queen Donna! | 唐娜女王万岁 |
| [02:10] | Her? | 她 |
| [02:10] | – Me? – She’s not the ruler. | -我吗 -她才不是统治者 |
| [02:12] | She’s an egg-sucking lunatic with a boyfriend made out of yarn. | 她是个舔蛋的疯子 还有个纱线做的男朋友 |
| [02:17] | This is absurd. Take off that mask. | 这太荒唐了 把面具摘下来 |
| [02:20] | Very well then. | 那好 |
| [02:24] | Sloane? | 斯隆 |
| [02:28] | Who? | 谁 |
| [02:41] | The ugly chambermaid. | 那个丑陋的清洁女仆 |
| [02:43] | It all makes sense now. | 这下一切都说得通了 |
| [02:44] | Being a chambermaid gave her access, | 作为清洁女仆 她有通行权限 |
| [02:46] | and being ugly gave her a motive. | 而作为丑女 她有这个动机 |
| [02:48] | I’m not ugly. I just wear glasses. | 我不丑 我只是戴了眼镜 |
| [02:55] | Damn, girl. | 我操 妹子 |
| [03:00] | – Holy shit. Holy shit… – Everyone’s dead. | -我勒个去 我勒个去 -所有人都死了 |
| [03:02] | You guys, help me! | 你们来帮帮我 |
| [03:06] | What do we do now? | 我们现在怎么办 |
| [03:07] | We stay in here until it’s over. | 在事情结束前 我们就待在这儿 |
| [03:09] | What about Princess Blossom? | 那开花公主呢 |
| [03:11] | Probably dead. I hope. | 可能死了吧 我希望 |
| [03:13] | But she’s our friend. Hello. | 但她是我们的朋友 各位 |
| [03:15] | If the roles were reversed, she would totally– | 如果角色转换过来 她一定会… |
| [03:16] | Let us die. | 让我们去死 |
| [03:17] | She went out of her way to tell us that. Many times. | 她用各种方式告诉过我们了 很多次 |
| [03:27] | It’s just Blinkerquartz. | 只是闪烁石英而已 |
| [03:29] | Were you hiding under the bed? | 你是躲在床底下了吗 |
| [03:33] | No. | 不是 |
| [03:33] | I… I… I dropped something. | 我 我丢了点东西 |
| [03:35] | Shouldn’t you be out there doing magic on the assassins? | 你难道不应该去对刺客施魔法吗 |
| [03:38] | Make them all disappear? | 让他们都消失 |
| [03:42] | Oh, dear girl, | 亲爱的孩子 |
| [03:43] | I’m the designated survivor. | 我是指定幸存者 |
| [03:45] | You see, I must stay alive | 你看 我必须得活着 |
| [03:47] | in case anything happens to the royal family. | 以防万一皇室发生什么事情 |
| [03:50] | You wouldn’t want me to abandon my duty, w-would you? | 你们不会希望我抛弃自己的职责 对吧 |
| [03:54] | I guess not. | 大概不会 |
| [03:55] | Oh, we have a foursome. Let’s play a board game. | 我们有四个人 我们来玩棋盘游戏吧 |
| [03:57] | We don’t like playing with Blossom because she cheats. | 我们不喜欢跟开花玩 因为她作弊 |
| [04:03] | Sweep the castle and kill any stragglers. | 彻底搜查城堡 把游荡的人都杀了 |
| [04:05] | Nobody gets out alive. | 没有人能活着出去 |
| [04:06] | Sloane, how could you do this? | 斯隆 你怎么能这么做 |
| [04:08] | How? With your help, of course. | 怎么能 当然是在你的帮助下 |
| [04:10] | I couldn’t have done it without you. | 没有你我根本做不到 |
| [04:12] | Patrick? A traitor? | 帕特里克 叛徒 |
| [04:14] | Dun-dun-dunnnn! | 当 当 当 |
| [04:16] | But… I never helped you. | 但是我从来没帮过你 |
| [04:20] | You know, I’m probably not supposed to tell anybody this, | 我也许不应该跟任何人说起 |
| [04:23] | but… the king locked up his weird sister in the prison tower. | 但国王把他的怪人姐姐关在了监狱塔楼 |
| [04:30] | Psst! Blossom always rides separately from her ladies-in-waiting. | 开花骑马时总是跟她的侍女们分开 |
| [04:32] | Don’t tell anybody, it’s a secret. | 别告诉任何人 这是个秘密 |
| [04:35] | If it’s a secret, then shut the fuck up! | 如果这是个秘密 就他妈的闭嘴 |
| [04:40] | You know that urban legend about the Minotaur labyrinth? | 你知道那个关于弥诺陶洛斯迷宫的都市传说吗 |
| [04:43] | It’s true. | 那是真的 |
| [04:45] | You guys looking for a third? Oh, it’s Sloane. | 你们需要第三个人吗 原来是斯隆 |
| [04:47] | I think I’m falling in love with you. | 我觉得我爱上你了 |
| [04:50] | Same, yeah. Where’s that labyrinth at? | 我也是 对了 那个迷宫在哪里 |
| [04:53] | You thirsty fuckboy. | 你这个饥渴的渣男 |
| [04:56] | You told her all of our secrets? | 你把我们的秘密全都告诉她了 |
| [04:58] | Okay, well, I guess now everybody knows I can’t poop | 好了 我想现在所有人都知道 |
| [05:02] | unless someone’s holding my hand and telling me a story. | 除非有人牵着我的手讲故事 否则我就拉不出屎了 |
| [05:04] | Great. | 好极了 |
| [05:06] | I didn’t know that. | 这个我还不知道 |
| [05:08] | Sloane, why do you care if Donna’s the queen or not? | 斯隆 你为什么要在意唐娜是不是女王 |
| [05:11] | Because my name’s not Sloane. It’s Danielle. | 因为我的名字不是斯隆 而是丹妮尔 |
| [05:15] | Danielle? Danielle. | 丹妮尔 丹妮尔 |
| [05:18] | That’s right, Mother. I’ve come back to you. | 没错 母亲 我回来找你了 |
| [05:21] | – Mother? – Oh, ho-ho, sweetheart. | -母亲 -亲爱的 |
| [05:25] | Is it really you? | 真的是你吗 |
| [05:26] | That’s preposterous. | 太荒谬了 |
| [05:28] | If you’d had a baby, we’d have known. | 如果你有孩子 我们会知道的 |
| [05:29] | There’s a lot you don’t know about me, little brother. | 我的事你不知道的还多着呢 弟弟 |
| [05:31] | Lucky for you, I wrote and illustrated | 你很幸运 我为我的故事写了本儿童读物 |
| [05:33] | a children’s book all about it. Hmmph. | 并配上了插图 |
| [05:33] | 《禁锢 我的黑暗与悲惨的故事》 唐娜姨妈著 | |
| [05:36] | I’m shopping it to publishers now. | 我正在向出版社推销它 |
| [05:38] | One of them is the rat that lives in the wall. | 其中一个是住在墙里的老鼠 |
| [05:44] | As a young girl, | 当我还是个小女孩的时候 |
| [05:45] | I was in love with a hunky stable boy named Danny. | 我爱上了一个叫丹尼的健壮马夫 |
| [05:49] | Look at the pecs on this kid. | 快看这小伙的胸肌 |
| [05:51] | The first time my womanly rose bloomed | 我的月经初潮像绽放的玫瑰 |
| [05:54] | all over my fucking designer sheets | 染红了我那该死的设计师品牌床单 |
| [05:56] | I told no one. | 我没告诉任何人 |
| [05:58] | Uh, you said this book was for children? | 你不是说这本书是给孩子看的吗 |
| [06:01] | If my secret got out, they’d lock me up | 如果我的秘密泄露出去 他们会给我穿上上锁的 |
| [06:03] | in a dick-proof chastity belt, which is bullshit. | 防鸡巴的贞操带 简直就是扯淡 |
| [06:07] | Eventually they caught me red-handed. | 最终 他们把我抓个正着 |
| [06:09] | I had a heavy flow back then. | 我当时的月经量很大 |
| [06:11] | For fuck’s sake. | 别他妈再说了 |
| [06:13] | On the eve of the period party, | 在月经派对的前夕 |
| [06:14] | Danny and I ran away to start a new life together. | 丹尼与我私奔 开始了新的生活 |
| [06:18] | It was a real fuckfest. | 那真是一段没羞没臊的日子 |
| [06:21] | And then Danielle was born. Our life was perfect. | 然后丹妮尔就出生了 我们的生活很完美 |
| [06:26] | Until we were discovered by my father’s men. | 直到我们被我父亲的手下发现 |
| [06:29] | I was dragged back to the castle | 我被拖回城堡 |
| [06:31] | and locked in this very tower. | 就关在这座塔里 |
| [06:33] | It’s a goddamn downer of an ending. | 真是个令人沮丧的结局 |
| [06:36] | But I never knew what happened to my baby after that. | 但我不知道在那之后我的孩子怎么样了 |
| [06:40] | Or to Danny. | 也没有丹尼的消息 |
| [06:41] | Donna, that’s so tragic. | 唐娜 这也太悲惨了 |
| [06:44] | No wonder you’re absolutely unbearable. | 怪不得你让人无法忍受 |
| [06:46] | Dad joined the circus | 父亲为了追求他毕生的 |
| [06:47] | to pursue his lifelong dream of sword-swallowing. | 吞剑之梦 加入了马戏团 |
| [06:51] | After he died– swallowing a sword– | 当他吞剑而死后 |
| [06:53] | I was raised by a family of acrobats. | 我是由一个杂技演员家庭抚养大的 |
| [06:58] | As their eldest child, my mother is the rightful queen. | 作为他们的长女 我母亲是合法的女王 |
| [07:02] | Making me the rightful heir. | 也使我成为合法的继承人 |
| [07:04] | And I’m not the only one who thinks so. | 并不是我自己一个人这么想 |
| [07:07] | All of us who wear this insignia | 所有佩戴这个徽章的人都相信 |
| [07:09] | believe that the true queen has been locked up too long. | 真正的女王已经被禁锢了太久 |
| [07:14] | The kingdom’s never | 王国绝对不会在我俩之间 |
| [07:15] | going to choose my dingbat sister over me. | 选择我的姐姐 |
| [07:18] | What choice will they have? | 他们还有其他选择吗 |
| [07:19] | I’ve spent months knocking off every other blueblood | 我花了好几个月的时间打败了所有 |
| [07:24] | with a claim to the throne. | 想要继承王位的贵族 |
| [07:26] | So, tomorrow at dawn, in front of the whole world, | 所以 明天黎明时分 我要在全世界面前 |
| [07:29] | I’ll chop your heads off. | 把你们的头砍下来 |
| [07:31] | One, two, three. | 一个 两个 三个 |
| [07:33] | Donna will be crowned queen, | 唐娜会被加冕为女王 |
| [07:35] | and nobody can say shit about it. | 可没人敢说什么 |
| [07:39] | Come along, Mother. Our legacy awaits. | 来吧母亲 遗产在等着我们 |
| [07:41] | Can I bring Daniel? | 我能带上丹尼尔吗 |
| [07:43] | No, Mother. It’s creepy. | 不行 母亲 那太诡异了 |
| [07:49] | Your girlfriend’s a real cunt. | 你女朋友真是个婊子 |
| [07:58] | I can’t believe my first real girlfriend | 我简直不敢相信我第一个真正的女朋友 |
| [08:01] | turned out to be a criminal mastermind. | 竟然是个犯罪主谋 |
| [08:05] | Okay, wow. | 得了吧 |
| [08:06] | Dating an assassin and didn’t even notice. | 跟个刺客谈恋爱 却丝毫没有察觉到她的身份 |
| [08:09] | Just another man, | 不过是又一个 |
| [08:10] | underestimating a woman’scapacity for evil. | 低估了女人作恶能力的男人 |
| [08:13] | Jeez. | 你可真行 |
| [08:14] | Hang in there, Patrick. | 坚持住 帕特里克 |
| [08:15] | All women are assassins of one stripe or another. | 所有的女人或多或少都是杀手 |
| [08:18] | Most of them just kill your dreams. | 大部分只是扼杀了你的梦想 |
| [08:20] | Excuse me? | 你怎么说话呢 |
| [08:21] | The kid’s feeling down, dear. | 亲爱的 孩子心情不好 |
| [08:23] | Some light misogyny can be a real pick-me-up. | 一点轻微的厌女症真的可以让人振奋起来 |
| [08:27] | On the other hand, maybe I’m on the wrong side. | 另一方面 也许我站错队了 |
| [08:30] | But whatever. She’s not winning this breakup. | 不过无所谓 她不会是这次分手的赢家 |
| [08:33] | I’m getting us out of here. | 我要带大家离开这里 |
| [08:35] | Patrick, I’m gonna need you to hold my hand | 帕特里克 我需要你牵着我的手 |
| [08:38] | and tell me a story. | 给我讲个故事 |
| [08:39] | Oh my god, no. | 天啊 我不要 |
| [08:41] | Patrick… | 帕特里克 |
| [08:43] | Story. | 讲故事 |
| [08:47] | What are you doing? I need that toilet! | 你在干什么 我需要那个马桶 |
| [08:53] | The sewage system is a way out. | 排污管道是一条出路 |
| [08:55] | But I need a rope. | 但我需要根绳子 |
| [08:57] | Would a buttload of sex yarn help? | 这坨性爱毛线有用吗 |
| [09:01] | Why is he so damp? | 他怎么这么湿 |
| [09:05] | Ugh! I need you to lower me down. | 我需要你把我放下去 |
| [09:06] | If you need more slack, | 如果长度不够 |
| [09:08] | unravel your aunt’s homemade fuck doll. | 就解开你姑妈自制的性爱娃娃 |
| [09:18] | Blue. | 蓝色 |
| [09:19] | B-L-U-E B-L-U-E. | |
| [09:21] | Now pick a number. | 现在说个数字 |
| [09:23] | Six. | 六 |
| [09:24] | One, two, three, four, five, six. | 一 二 三 四 五 六 |
| [09:27] | Now pick a number. | 现在说个数字 |
| [09:28] | Another number? Two. | 又一个数字吗 二 |
| [09:30] | This is ridiculous. | 这太荒谬了 |
| [09:32] | Okay, here’s your fortune: | 好了 你的命运就是 |
| [09:34] | “Something exciting is headed your way.” | “一件令人激动的事情就要发生了” |
| [09:37] | How does it know? | 它是怎么知道的 |
| [09:38] | Just does. Duh. | 就是知道 |
| [09:40] | Are you witches? Do it again. | 你们是女巫吗 再来一次 |
| [09:48] | Alright, slow and steady. | 好了 稳中求进 |
| [09:52] | The stink is making my eyes water! | 这臭气熏得我眼泪都出来了 |
| [09:55] | How the fuck do you think it smells down here? | 你他妈的觉得这底下就好闻了吗 |
| [10:00] | Oh! Fuck it! Ow! Shit! | 操 他妈的 |
| [10:02] | Oh! Fuck! Ow! Ow! | 操 |
| [10:04] | Ow! Shit! Ow! Fuck! | 他妈的 操 |
| [10:06] | Ow! Fuck! | 操 |
| [10:19] | Time for Operation Steal Stuff, huh? | 偷东西行动时间到了 |
| [10:23] | From the Castle. | 偷城堡里的东西 |
| [10:25] | We’ll never get another chance like this. | 我们再也不会有这样的机会了 |
| [10:27] | We need to find the vault. | 我们得找到金库 |
| [10:28] | That’s where they’ll keep the good stuff. | 好东西都藏在那里面 |
| [10:30] | We could really use an insider right about now. | 我们现在真的需要一个内奸 |
| [10:32] | Where’s Patrick? | 帕特里克在哪儿 |
| [10:34] | Holy shit! | 我嘞个去 |
| [10:44] | Guys. You’re here. Oh, thank God. | 各位 谢天谢地你们到了 |
| [10:47] | That shit golem sounds like Patrick. | 那个屎人听上去像是帕特里克 |
| [10:50] | Oh no, nope, nope. | 不不不 |
| [10:51] | If you hug me, I’ll kill you. | 你要是抱我 我就杀了你 |
| [10:53] | There’s been a coup. | 发生政变了 |
| [10:55] | The royal family’s going to be executed. | 皇室家族要被处决了 |
| [10:57] | You’ve got to help me free them. | 你们得帮我去解救他们 |
| [10:59] | Why would we ever do that? | 我们为什么要那么做 |
| [11:02] | Because it’s our king and queen. | 因为那是我们的国王和皇后 |
| [11:05] | I don’t even know the king’s name, man. Wait, is it Murray? | 我都不知道国王的名字 等等 是穆雷吗 |
| [11:08] | Patrick, it doesn’t matter who sits on the throne. | 帕特里克 谁坐在王位上不重要 |
| [11:11] | Kings and queens come and go, but they’re all the same. | 国王和皇后来来去去 但都是一样的 |
| [11:14] | They get rich and fat while the rest of us suffer. | 他们变富变胖 而我们受苦 |
| [11:16] | Seriously, is it King Murray and Queen Tina? | 讲真 是穆雷国王和蒂娜皇后吗 |
| [11:19] | I think that’s right, right? | 我觉得是这样 |
| [11:21] | What gives them the right to steal from the rest of us? | 谁给他们权力偷窃我们其他人 |
| [11:23] | Wha–? But that’s what you do. | 什么 可这不是你们的工作吗 |
| [11:27] | Yes, well, at least we’re upfront about it. | 至少我们从不遮掩 |
| [11:28] | And look, while you’re here, | 听着 既然你来了 |
| [11:30] | um, you’ve got the drawing skills in the family. | 你遗传了家族的绘画天赋 |
| [11:32] | Um, how about just whipping up a quick map to the vault, huh? | 你给我们简单画个去金库的地图吧 |
| [11:39] | Oh, and we’re surrounded. | 我们被包围了 |
| [11:41] | I guess you have no choice now, huh? | 看来你们别无选择了 |
| [11:44] | You have to help me fight. | 你们必须帮我抗争 |
| [11:46] | They’re not our enemy, Patrick. They’re yours. | 他们不是我们的敌人 帕特里克 是你的 |
| [11:50] | Do you want this squire? You can have him. | 你们想找这个侍卫 给你们了 |
| [11:51] | We’re doing our own thing, don’t mind us. | 我们有自己的事 别管我们 |
| [11:54] | What? | 什么 |
| [11:56] | God dammit. I didn’t choose to be your little brother. | 该死 我没有选择做你们的弟弟 |
| [12:00] | But I always believed, deep down, | 但我总是相信 在你们内心深处 |
| [12:02] | that when it mattered, you’d have my back. | 在重要时刻 你们会支持我 |
| [12:05] | Because I’m your family. | 因为我是你们的家人 |
| [12:07] | But if that’s not true… | 但如果不是这样 |
| [12:10] | I guess I have no one to blame but myself. | 我想我只能责怪自己了 |
| [12:14] | You told me my whole life I didn’t matter. | 你们总是跟我说我无足轻重 |
| [12:18] | It’s my fault for not believing you. | 怪我不相信你们 |
| [12:26] | Ah, fuck, he’s right. | 操 他是对的 |
| [12:28] | He’s our brother. | 他是我们的弟弟 |
| [12:30] | Yeah! And nobody beats up our brother but us. | 是的 只有我们能揍我们的弟弟 |
| [12:36] | Thanks, you guys. | 谢谢你们 |
| [12:45] | Suck on this! | 看老子的 |
| [12:54] | Patrick! | 帕特里克 |
| [12:59] | Jesus Christ, Patrick! | 老天 帕特里克 |
| [13:00] | My girlfriend’s evil and I’m covered in shit. | 我女友是坏蛋 我浑身是屎 |
| [13:03] | I’m working through some residual anger. | 我在处理一些余怒 |
| [13:11] | Oh, God. | 天 |
| [13:14] | Oh, hell no. | 休想跑 |
| [13:19] | Ugh, this tower is murder on my quads. Oh! | 这座塔要弄死我的股四头肌啊 |
| [13:22] | Sloane! | 斯隆 |
| [13:25] | Danielle. | 丹妮尔 |
| [13:26] | Sorry, I can’t keep your lies straight. | 抱歉 我搞不清你的谎言 |
| [13:36] | Don’t be mad at me. | 别生我气 |
| [13:39] | If you adjust your perspective a teensy bit, | 你要是能调整一点点的见解 |
| [13:42] | I’m actually the hero of this story. | 我其实是这个故事里的英雄 |
| [13:46] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:48] | You’re a liar. And a killer. | 你是骗子 还是杀手 |
| [13:52] | What choice did I have? My mother is the rightful queen. | 我有什么选择 我妈妈才是正牌皇后 |
| [13:55] | You can’t deny that. | 你无法否认 |
| [13:58] | It’s not that simple. | 没那么简单 |
| [14:05] | The Old King locked up Donna. | 老国王把唐娜关了起来 |
| [14:07] | But then Merriman locked up the Old King. | 然后梅里曼又把老国王关起来 |
| [14:09] | What? The Old King died of plague. | 什么 老国王死于瘟疫 |
| [14:12] | The Old King is still alive. | 老国王还活着 |
| [14:14] | Donna isn’t the rightful anything. | 唐娜根本不是任何事的正牌 |
| [14:16] | And neither is Merriman. | 梅里曼也不是 |
| [14:18] | That… That can’t be true. | 这不可能 |
| [14:22] | Look, what happened to your mom sucks. | 听着 你妈妈的遭遇很糟糕 |
| [14:25] | Chastity belts are barbaric. | 贞操带很野蛮 |
| [14:27] | But according to the law, | 但根据法律 |
| [14:29] | she gave up her shot at the throne when she broke the rules. | 她打破规矩的时候就已经放弃了争夺王位 |
| [14:32] | But Merriman broke the rules too. So what does it matter? | 但梅里曼也打破了规矩 所以有什么关系 |
| [14:36] | Join us! My mother is queen now. | 加入我们 我妈妈现在是皇后了 |
| [14:39] | She can make you a knight. You can be my boyfriend. | 她可以让你成为骑士 你可以做我男友 |
| [14:43] | And if we work as a couple, you know, travel well together, | 如果我们通力协作 一起旅行 |
| [14:45] | see how cohabitation goes. | 看看同居生活怎么样 |
| [14:47] | Who knows? You could be king one day. | 谁知道呢 你或许有天能成为国王 |
| [14:57] | So, you really feel that way about me? | 你对我是真心的吗 |
| [15:00] | You weren’t just using me? | 你不只是在利用我 |
| [15:03] | Oh, you weren’t even a part of my plan. | 你甚至不是我计划的一部分 |
| [15:05] | You were just a happy accident. | 你只是个幸福的意外 |
| [15:08] | I liked hanging out with you. | 我喜欢和你一起 |
| [15:09] | God dammit. I… | 该死 我 |
| [15:12] | I liked it too. | 我也很喜欢 |
| [15:14] | It doesn’t matter who sits on the throne. | 谁坐在王位上不重要 |
| [15:17] | Kings and queens come and go, but they’re all the same. | 国王和皇后来来去去 但都是一样的 |
| [15:23] | And Merriman is an objectively terrible ruler. | 客观讲 梅里曼是个糟糕的统治者 |
| [15:27] | The people are suffering. | 人们在受苦 |
| [15:29] | Exactly. You’d be doing the right thing. | 没错 帮助我们才是正确的选择 |
| [15:31] | For everybody. | 对大家都好 |
| [15:32] | Plus you’d get to see me naked. | 再说你能看到我裸体 |
| [15:37] | That does sound like a win-win. | 这听上去确实像是双赢的局面 |
| [15:50] | Well, that was annoying. | 真烦人 |
| [15:52] | Alright, fun’s over. | 乐子结束了 |
| [15:54] | Let’s go commit some crimes to balance out the good deed. | 我们去犯点罪抵消我们做的好事 |
| [15:57] | Time for Operation Steal Stuff | 是时候开始偷东西行动了 |
| [15:59] | We’re Gonna Steal Before We Got Sidetracked By Personal Growth. | 我们要在被个人成长带偏之前去偷东西 |
| [16:05] | I mean, | 我是说 |
| [16:07] | I bet I’d get a lot more respect at home if I were king. | 我要是国王的话 在家能赢得更多的尊重 |
| [16:10] | And it could happen sooner than you think. | 而且可以比你想象中早得多 |
| [16:13] | Mother could always catch a bad case | 我妈随时可能患病 |
| [16:15] | of fall-down-the-stairs-itis, | 或者摔下楼梯 |
| [16:17] | if you know what I mean. | 如果你懂我意思的话 |
| [16:19] | You’d kill your own mother? | 你愿意杀死你自己的妈妈 |
| [16:22] | No. I’m sorry. | 不 不好意思 |
| [16:23] | I swore an oath and I’m not going back on it. | 我发过誓 我不会背弃诺言 |
| [16:26] | Promises don’t seem to mean that much to you, | 承诺似乎对你而言无足轻重 |
| [16:29] | but they do to me! | 但对我很重要 |
| [16:33] | You dickhead! Now you’re never gonna see me naked. | 你个蠢货 你永远看不到我裸体了 |
| [16:36] | Think about that. | 好好想想 |
| [16:43] | Give up. Your people are getting their asses kicked. | 放弃吧 你的人被打得落花流水 |
| [16:46] | And once the army hears you’ve attacked the castle, | 一旦军队听说你进攻城堡 |
| [16:48] | they’ll return to help. | 他们就会回来帮忙 |
| [16:49] | You can’t win. | 你赢不了的 |
| [16:50] | Yes, I can! | 我可以赢 |
| [16:53] | I’ll blow up the royal family! | 我会炸了整个皇室 |
| [16:55] | And I already killed everyone else in the line of succession. | 我已经杀了其他所有继承人 |
| [16:58] | So guess what? | 猜猜怎么着 |
| [16:59] | It’s gonna be Mother or it’s gonna be nobody! | 要么就是我妈称王 要么就无人 |
| [17:06] | No! | 不 |
| [17:14] | What the fuck?! | 什么鬼 |
| [17:20] | Holy fucking asscrackers! | 我勒个去 |
| [17:25] | – Blossom! – Sweetheart. Are you alright? | -开花 -亲爱的 你还好吗 |
| [17:27] | I’m still alive, Mom. | 我还活着 妈妈 |
| [17:29] | Don’t make such a big deal out of everything. God. | 别什么事都小题大做 天啊 |
| [17:33] | Mama! | 妈妈 |
| [17:35] | Sorry, darling, I’m busy not making a big deal out of it. | 抱歉 亲爱的 我忙着不要小题大做呢 |
| [17:39] | Patrick! | 帕特里克 |
| [17:49] | Yeah! Kill her, Patrick. | 很好 杀了她 帕特里克 |
| [17:51] | Curb-stomp her! | 束之踩踏她 |
| [18:04] | Give up, Danielle. | 放弃吧 丹妮尔 |
| [18:05] | Give up? I already won. | 放弃 我已经赢了 |
| [18:08] | Once this tower falls, | 等这塔倒了 |
| [18:10] | the only heir to the throne still alive will be Mother! | 王位的唯一继承人就会是我妈 |
| [18:16] | It’s a perfect plan, sweetheart. | 这是个完美的计划 亲爱的 |
| [18:18] | Mother? What the fuck are you doing up here? | 妈妈 你来这干什么 |
| [18:20] | I came back for Daniel. | 我是来找丹尼尔的 |
| [18:22] | You’re ruining everything! | 你毁了一切 |
| [18:29] | Fine. Go ahead and die, Mother. | 行吧 那你就去死 妈妈 |
| [18:31] | That means I’m heir to the throne. | 这意味着我是王位的继承人 |
| [18:34] | Squirrel wings! | 松鼠翅膀 |
| [18:37] | Raised in a circus, bitch! | 我在马戏团长大 贱人 |
| [18:45] | Guess we’re doing this, then. | 看来要这样了 |
| [18:48] | Squirrel wings! | 松鼠翅膀 |
| [18:51] | Fashion show! Fashion show… | 时装秀 时装秀 |
| [19:03] | Hey, look, that lady’s flying. | 看 那女人在飞 |
| [19:11] | Take Human Shield! | 带走人肉盾牌 |
| [19:13] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:14] | Did you guys know there’s a hidden passageway back here? | 你们知道这有个秘密走廊吗 |
| [19:17] | Grab whatever’s not nailed down and follow us. | 拿上任何没有钉牢的东西 跟我们走 |
| [19:24] | Yes! | 好啊 |
| [19:26] | There goes my sister. Always making it about her. | 我姐姐走了 总是以自我为中心 |
| [19:33] | Hurry. Into the shit chute! | 快 跳进粪便管道 |
| [19:36] | I’m gonna take the stairs. | 我要走楼梯 |
| [19:37] | Get in that fucking toilet! | 快他妈的跳进马桶 |
| [19:41] | Patrick, since we’re probably going to die, | 帕特里克 既然我们都要死了 |
| [19:44] | I want you to know, you’re like the son I never had. | 我想让你知道 你就像是我从未有过的儿子 |
| [19:49] | Thank you, Sire. | 谢谢你 陛下 |
| [19:50] | I should specify: the son I never had, that I am aware of. | 我得说明下 我从未有过的儿子 我知道他的存在 |
| [19:54] | Right. | 嗯 |
| [19:55] | – I get around, Patrick. – Sire, please jump. | -四处游历 帕特里克 -陛下 快跳吧 |
| [20:09] | Oh my god. The royal family. | 我的天 皇室家族 |
| [20:12] | Designated survivor, baby! | 指定幸存者 |
| [20:17] | Fuck! | 操 |
| [20:20] | Your majesties. You’re alive! | 殿下们 你们还活着 |
| [20:23] | Yes, the expression I’m making doesn’t mean I’m not thrilled. | 我的表情不代表我不激动 |
| [20:26] | I’m-I’m-I’m thrilled. | 我 我很激动 |
| [20:29] | Has anyone seen Patrick? | 有人看到帕特里克吗 |
| [20:31] | Patrick. | 帕特里克 |
| [20:40] | – There he is! – Patrick! | -他在那 -帕特里克 |
| [20:41] | Oh, he’s fine. | 他没事 |
| [20:43] | Buddy, you did it. | 哥们 你做到了 |
| [20:44] | Everyone. | 各位 |
| [20:46] | Do not drink the moat water. | 都别喝护城河的水 |
| [20:49] | It links directly to the sewage system. | 跟下水道是连通的 |
| [20:57] | This is so gross, but I can’t stop looking at it. | 好恶心 但我忍不住看 |
| [21:00] | Where were you, dumb whores? | 你们到哪去了 蠢婊子 |
| [21:02] | You’re supposed to protect me. | 你们本该保护我的 |
| [21:06] | You should probably fire us. | 你或许该开除我们 |
| [21:08] | No way. | 没门儿 |
| [21:09] | God as my witness, Human Shield, | 上帝作证 人肉盾牌 |
| [21:12] | you will die protecting me. | 你要因为保护我而死 |
| [21:18] | Oh. Hello, Ruben. | 你好 鲁本 |
| [21:20] | Holden. How’s your fiancée? | 霍尔顿 你未婚妻怎么样 |
| [21:24] | Donna, stop being so dramatic. Get up. | 唐娜 别演戏了 起来 |
| [21:28] | Oh my god. | 我的天 |
| [21:30] | Today was a disaster. | 今天就是场灾难 |
| [21:32] | Eh, maybe. | 也许吧 |
| [21:33] | But you should be proud of yourself, Patrick. | 但你应该为自己感到骄傲 帕特里克 |
| [21:35] | Proud? | 骄傲 |
| [21:36] | You killed the Minotaur, defeated the assassin, | 你杀死了弥诺陶洛斯 打败了刺客 |
| [21:38] | and rescued the whole fuckin’ royal family. | 拯救了全体皇室 |
| [21:42] | I guess I did all that, huh? | 好像都是我做的 |
| [21:44] | Am I actually good at this job? | 我真的擅长这工作吗 |
| [21:46] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [21:47] | I hereby take you off my shart list. | 我在此宣布把你从我的屎屁名单上移除 |
| [21:50] | I’m a good squire. | 我是个优秀侍卫 |
| [21:52] | This is the greatest day of my life. | 这是我这辈子最开心的一天 |
| [21:54] | And here I had you pegged as the squire | 我还以为你是最有可能 |
| [21:56] | most likely to cut his own head off by accident. | 成为意外砍掉自己头的侍卫 |
| [21:59] | Who’s at the top of that list now? Huh? | 现在谁排在名单上首位 |
| [22:03] | Is it me? | 是我吗 |
| [22:05] | It’s me, isn’t it? | 是我 对吗 |
| [22:08] | Yeah… | 是的 |
| [22:10] | …it’s me. | 就是我 |
| [22:11] | Nice. | 不错 |
| [22:17] | Thinks he’ll put his daddy out to pasture, eh? | 以为他会让他爸爸退休 |
| [22:20] | When I escape this gilded cage, | 等我逃出这个镀金牢笼 |
| [22:23] | sonny boy’s gonna reap the whirlwind. | 那小子会遭到应得的报应 |
| [22:26] | He’s gonna enter a hell previously unknown to mankind. | 他会进入一个前所未有的地狱 |
| [22:32] | I wonder if any of those snickerdoodles are left. | 不知道还有没有剩黄油曲奇 |
| [22:37] | Hello, Gramps. | 你好 爷爷 |