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Deadpool(死侍)[2016]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年6月15日 By jubentaici_movie_user Deadpool(死侍)[2016]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
电影名称:死侍
英文名称:Deadpool
年代:2016

推荐:千部英美剧台词本阅读
时间 英文 中文
[00:41] ∮ There’ll be no strings to bind your hands ∮ 没有什么可以捆绑你的双手
[00:45] ∮ Not if my love can’t bind your heart ∮ 除非我的爱不让你的心迷失
[00:55] ∮ There’s no need to take a stand ∮ 本来就没有必要再反对什么
[00:58] ∮ For it was I who chose to start ∮ 早先我就不应该开始这一切
[01:07] ∮ If morning’s echoes say we’ve sinned ∮ 如果清晨预示了我们的罪恶
[01:11] ∮ Well, it was what I wanted now ∮ 也许这就是我一直想要的
[01:19] ∮ And if we’re victims of the night ∮ 如果我们是暗夜的受害者
[01:26] ∮ I won’t be blinded by the light ∮ 我将不会在光明里迷失
[01:32] ∮ Just call me angel of the morning angel ∮ 叫我一声晨间天使 天使
[01:38] ∮ Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby ∮ 在你离去时抚摸一下我的脸颊
[01:44] ∮ Just call me angel of the morning angel ∮ 叫我一声晨间天使 天使
[01:50] ∮ Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby ∮ 在你离去时抚摸一下我的脸颊
[01:57] ∮ Just call me angel of the morning angel ∮ 叫我一声晨间天使 天使
[02:03] ∮ Just touch my cheek before you leave me, darling ∮ 在你离去时抚摸一下我的脸颊
[02:09] ∮ Just call me angel of the morning angel ∮ 叫我一声晨间天使 天使
[02:15] ∮ Just touch my cheek before you leave me, darling ∮ 在你离去时抚摸一下我的脸颊
[03:02] Kinda lonesome back here. 我在后面好孤单啊
[03:04] Yeah, little help. 帮我一下
[03:07] Okay, um, just, I have to keep my hands on the wheel. 我得握好方向盘
[03:13] Excuse me. Whoo! 不好意思啦
[03:16] Ah, Dopinder. 我叫多芬德
[03:17] Pool. Dead. 侍 死
[03:21] Hmm, nice. 不错啊
[03:23] Smells good, no? 味道不错吧?
[03:24] Not the Daffodil Daydream. The girl. 我不是说清新剂 说那妹子呢
[03:26] Ah, yes. Gita. 是吧 吉塔
[03:28] Hmm. She is quite lovely. 她挺漂亮的吧
[03:30] She would have made me a very agreeable wife. 她本来可能成为我称心的老婆
[03:33] But, um… 但…
[03:35] Gita’s heart has been stolen by my cousin Bandhu. 吉塔的心被我表哥班都偷走了
[03:38] He is as dishonorable as he is attractive. 他这个人啊 又迷人 又不老实
[03:43] Dopinder, I’m starting to think 多芬德 我开始觉得
[03:45] there’s a reason I’m in this cab today. 今天我上你这车 肯定是有理由的
[03:47] Yeah, sir, you called for it, remember? 是啊 先生 我这车不是你叫的吗?
[03:49] No, my slender brown friend. Love… 不 这位棕皮肤瘦身板朋友 爱…
[03:52] is a beautiful thing. 是个非常美妙的事情
[03:54] When you find it, the whole world tastes like Daffodil Daydream. 遇见爱时 全世界都会飘着水仙花的香味
[03:58] So you gotta hold onto love… 所以你要把握爱…
[04:00] – tight! – Ah! – 紧紧把握 – 啊
[04:01] And never let go. 千万不要放手
[04:03] Don’t make the same mistakes I did. 不要重蹈我的覆辙
本电影台词包含不重复单词:1713个。
其中的生词包含:四级词汇:253个,六级词汇:131个,GRE词汇:141个,托福词汇:205个,考研词汇:290个,专四词汇:227个,专八词汇:38个,
所有生词标注共:584个。
定制生词标注的台词本和单词统计,请访问生词标注台词本
[04:04] – Got it? – Yeah. – 明白没?- 明白了
[04:06] Or else the whole world tastes like Mama June after hot yoga. 不然全世界的味道 闻着就像刚做完高温瑜珈的琼肥妈
[04:10] Sir, what does Miss Mama June taste like? 先生 琼肥妈是什么味道?
[04:12] – Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss. – Okay, enough. – 就像俩流浪汉穿着灌满尿的鞋在滚床单 – 好了 够了
[04:15] I can go all day, Dopinder. The point is, it’s bad! 我能说上一天 多芬德 重点是 这很糟
[04:18] Hmm, it’s bad. 是很糟
[04:20] Uh, why the fancy red suit, Mr. Pool? 死侍先生 你为什么要穿成这样?
[04:23] Oh, that’s because it’s Christmas Day, Dopinder. 因为今天是圣诞节 多芬德
[04:25] And I’m after someone on my naughty list. 而且我在追我淘气榜单上一个人
[04:28] I’ve been waiting one year, three weeks… 我已经等了一年零三周…
[04:29] six days and, oh… 零六天…
[04:31] 14 minutes to make him fix what he did to me. 零14分钟 就为了让他 为他对我做过的事付出代价
[04:35] And what did he do to you, Mr. Pool? 他对你做过什么 死侍先生?
[04:38] This Shit… 给你看…
[04:40] Boo! 嘭
[05:02] They won’t disappoint. 它们不会让你失望的
[05:04] They’d better not. 最好不会
[05:06] And what about next month’s shipment? 下个月的货运呢?
[05:08] There won’t be one. 不会再有了
[05:10] You’re not the only one with a war to win. 又不是只有你要打仗
[05:13] That won’t do. 不行
[05:17] See, we’ve had this small disruption to our supply chain… 既然我们在供应上面有这么点小问题…
[05:25] We’d appreciate your patience. 就需要你有点耐心
[05:30] Okay. 可以
[05:31] We’ll deliver in full the following month. 下个月我们会全数运来
[05:37] Pleasure doing business with you. 和你做生意很开心
[05:42] Fucking mutant. 该死的变种人
[05:54] Oh, shit! 该死
[05:56] I forgot my ammo bag. 我把我的弹药包给忘了
[05:57] – Shall we turn back? – No, no time. – 我们要折回去吗?- 不用了 没时间了
[06:00] Fuck it. I got this. 妈的 我还有这个
[06:02] 9,10,11,12 bullets, or bust. 9 10 11 12颗子弹 要么完蛋
[06:05] Right here! 停车
[06:08] That’s, uh, $27.50. 一共27.5美元
[06:11] I… I never carry a wallet when I’m working. 我工作时从不带钱包
[06:12] Ruins the lines of my suit. 会破坏我这身战服的线条美
[06:14] – Oh. – But, uh, – 噢 – 但是… 呃
[06:15] how about a crisp high five? 不如我们爽快地击个掌?
[06:17] Okay. 好吧
[06:18] Merry Christmas. 圣诞快乐
[06:20] And a convivial Tuesday in April to you too, Pool! 也祝您四月周二快乐 死侍
[06:24] ∮ Hey, yeah I wanna shoop, baby ∮ 嘿耶 我今晚想咻咻咻
[06:27] ∮ Shoop shooop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop ∮ 咻 咻 呗
[06:30] ∮ Shoop ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop ∮ 咻 咻 呗
[06:32] ∮ You’re packed and you’re stacked ‘specially in the back ∮ 你拿着枪 身材匀称 尤其是背影
[06:34] ∮ Brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that ∮ 兄弟 想谢谢你老妈给了你个翘臀
[06:37] ∮ Can I get some fries with that shake-shake boobie? ∮ 能让我摸一摸那摇摆的大波吗?
[06:39] ∮ If looks could kill you would be an uzi ∮ 要是眼神也能像枪一样杀死你
[06:42] ∮ You’re a shotgun, bang! ∮ 你就是只小猎枪 砰
[06:43] Wha… Oh! 哇… 哦
[06:45] Oh, hello. I know, right? 你好啊 我知道 好吗?
[06:48] Whose balls did I have to fondle 我得去跪舔谁
[06:50] to get my very own movie? 才能拍到我的第一部专属电影?
[06:52] I can’t tell you, 我可不能告诉你
[06:53] but it does rhyme with “Polverine.” 不过那人名字里确实有个 “金刚”哦
[06:56] And let me tell you, 我跟你说
[06:57] he’s got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under. 他下面那玩意儿可真不错
[07:01] Anyway, I got places to be, a face to fix and, oh… 总之 我还有事 去整一下脸 还有…
[07:06] Bad guys to kill. 要杀的坏人
[07:14] Maximum effort. 全力出击
[07:25] Cock shot. 老二暴击
[07:31] Ha! 哈…
[07:34] Rich Corinthian leather. 好奢华的真皮座椅
[07:38] I’m looking for Francis! 我要找弗朗西斯
[07:40] Have you seen this man? 你见过这人吗?
[07:42] Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 噢…
[07:50] Ow. Ow! 噢…
[07:52] Yanky, yanky! 哟吼 哟吼
[08:25] I’ve never said this, but don’t swallow. 虽然我从没这么说过 但是别吞哦
[08:49] Shit. 该死
[08:51] Did I leave the stove on? 我是不是没关炉子?
[09:11] Now, breaking news. 现在播报突发新闻
[09:12] A multi-car collision turned shots fired 今晨于跨城高速上
[09:14] on the crosstown expressway this morning. 一起多辆汽车相撞事故中出现多发枪击
[09:16] Gridlock has kept police from the scene. 由于交通堵塞 警察未能赶到现场
[09:19] Residents are advised to remain in their homes. 建议市民避免出门
[09:21] The assailant appears to be armed, dangerous, and wearing… 持械攻击者非常危险 并身着…
[09:24] – a red suit. – A red suit. – 一套红衣 – 一套红衣
[09:26] Deadpool. 死侍
[09:28] Negasonic! Come, we have mission. 黑后 走 我们有任务了
[09:31] Colossus, wait up. 钢力士 等等
[09:34] I’ve given Deadpool every chance to join us… 我给了死侍那么多机会 让他加入我们
[09:37] but he’d rather act like a child. 但他就跟个孩子似的
[09:39] A heavily-armed child. 还是个全副武装的孩子
[09:42] When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man? 他什么时候才能成熟点 能看到成为X战警一员的好处?
[09:46] Which benefits? The matching unitards? 什么好处?合身的紧身衣?
[09:48] The house that blows up every few years? 每隔几年就会爆炸的房子?
[09:50] Please. 拜托
[09:51] House blowing up builds character. 历经磨难才能得到历练
[09:54] You ate breakfast, yes? 你吃过早饭了吧?
[09:56] Breakfast is most important meal of day. 早饭是一天中最重要的一餐了
[09:59] Here, protein bar. Good for bones. 给你 蛋白棒 对骨骼好
[10:03] Deadpool may try to break yours. 死侍说不定想打断你的骨头
[10:14] Get out of the way! 让开
[10:33] Hey! Whoo! 嘿
[10:46] Wait! 等等
[10:47] You may be wondering, “Why the red suit?” 你们可能想知道 “为什么要穿红衣服?”
[10:49] Well, that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed. 因为这样坏人就看不出我流血了
[10:52] This guy’s got the right idea. 这位也有同样的想法呢
[10:54] He wore the brown pants. 他穿的是红棕色的裤子
[10:57] Fine! I only have 12 bullets… 好吧 我只有12颗子弹…
[10:59] so you’re gonna have to share! 所以你们要共同享用
[11:01] Let’s count them down. 开始倒数吧
[11:22] Shit. 该死
[11:26] Motherfucker! 去你的
[11:29] 10! Shit! 十 该死的
[11:31] Nine. Fuck. 九 操
[11:33] Eight. 八
[11:34] Shit-fuck! 该死
[11:39] Bad Deadpool. 差死侍
[11:41] Seven. Good Deadpool. 七 好死侍
[12:06] Someone’s not counting. Six. 有人没数好哦 六
[12:35] Four… 四
[12:38] Gotcha. 打到你啦
[12:41] Right up main street. 直接打中菊花了
[12:46] Three, two! 三 二
[12:48] Stupid! Worth it. 太蠢了 值
[13:14] Ah! 啊
[13:16] I’m touching myself tonight. 今晚我要好好撸一发
[13:19] Francis! 弗朗西斯
[13:20] Francis… 弗朗西斯…
[13:23] What the shit-biscuit! 搞什么鬼
[13:26] Where you at, Francis? 你在哪啊 弗朗西斯?
[13:36] You’re not Francis. 你又不是弗朗西斯
[13:45] Really? Rolling up the sleeves? 玩儿真的?袖子都卷起来了?
[13:58] You’re probably thinking, 你可能在想
[14:00] “My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie… “我男朋友说过这是部超级英雄片…
[14:02] “but that guy in the red suit just turned “但那个穿红衣服的人
[14:03] “that other guy into a fucking kabab!” 直接把另一个人做成肉串啦”
[14:06] Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero. 好吧 我可能很 “超级” 但可不是英雄
[14:10] And yeah, technically, this is a murder. 而且 没错 严格来说 这是谋杀
[14:13] But some of the best love stories start with a murder. 但有些特别美好的爱情故事 就是从谋杀开始的
[14:15] And that’s exactly what this is, a love story. 这就确确实实是一个爱情故事
[14:18] And to tell it right… 为了说清楚点
[14:19] I gotta take you back to long before 我得带你回到
[14:22] I squeezed this ass into red spandex. 我穿这身红色弹力衣之前
[14:25] Look, would it help if I slow it down for you? 我说慢点行吗
[14:28] I didn’t order the pizza. 我没有叫披萨
[14:30] Is this 7348 Red Ledge Drive? Are you Mr. Merchant? 这是红礁路7348号码?你是梅山特先生吗?
[14:34] Yeah, the Mr. Merchant who didn’t order the fucking pie! 是啊 可是我这位梅山特先生 没叫什么鬼披萨
[14:38] Then who placed the call? 那是谁叫的?
[14:39] I did! 我
[14:43] Pineapple and olive? 菠萝橄榄披萨是吗?
[14:45] Sweet and salty. 甜咸口味的
[14:48] The fuck are you? 你是谁?
[14:49] The fuck you doing in my crib… 你在我家干什…
[14:51] Is it burnt crust? 外皮烤焦了吗?
[14:52] I… God, I hope not. Um… 老天 但愿没有
[14:54] Whoa… Man, look, if this is about that poker game. 天呐 听我说 要是和那局扑克有关
[14:56] I told Howie, I told him that… 我跟豪威说过 我跟他说…
[14:58] Okay, uh, look, just take whatever you want. 好吧 你想要什么都拿去
[15:02] Thanks. 谢了
[15:05] Sir, before you do anything to him, 先生 你对他下手之前
[15:06] do you mind if I get a big tip? 介意先给我点小费吗?
[15:08] Uh, Jeremy, is it? 你叫杰里米是吧?
[15:10] Umm-hmm. Wade. Wade Wilson. 我叫韦德 韦德威尔逊
[15:13] That is a no go on the tiperoo, Jer. 小费是不可能的 杰儿
[15:16] I’m not here for him. 我不是来找他的
[15:18] I’m here for you. 是来找你的
[15:20] Oh. 哦
[15:21] Okay, wow, dodged a big-time bullet on that one. 哟 哇 差点儿就碰别人的枪头了
[15:23] Not out of the woods yet. 跟你还没完事呢
[15:26] You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. 少戴些花里胡哨的玩意儿
[15:28] They’re jeans, not a chandelier. 你身上那是衣服 不是吊灯
[15:30] P.S. I’m keeping your wallet. You did kinda give it to me. 顺便说一句 钱包不还给你了 是你自己给我的
[15:32] Okay, just look, man, can I have my Sam’s card… 好吧 那个 兄弟 能把山姆的会员卡还给我…
[15:34] I will shoot your fucking cat! 再唧歪老子毙了你的猫
[15:37] I don’t really know what that means. I don’t have a cat. 我不知道这话是什么意思 我没养猫啊
[15:40] Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in? 那我刚刚拉屎的猫砂是谁的?
[15:46] Anyhoo, tell me something… 管他呢 你告诉我
[15:48] what situation isn’t improved by pizza? 什么情况是披萨无法改善的?
[15:52] Do you happen to know a Meghan Orflosky? 你是不是恰好认识梅根奥夫洛斯基?
[15:54] Getting that right? Orflosky? 我说对了吗?奥夫洛斯基?
[15:56] – Orlovsky? Good. – Yeah? – 奥洛夫斯基?好 – 对
[16:00] Because she knows you. 因为她认识你
[16:01] Jeremy, I belong to a group of guys 杰里米 我是
[16:03] who take a dime to beat a fella down. 专门拿钱帮人揍人的
[16:05] And little Meghan, she’s not made of money, 而小梅根呢 她没什么钱
[16:07] but lucky for her… 但她幸运得很
[16:08] I got a soft spot. 我也会心软
[16:10] – But I’m a… – A stalker. – 可我… – 跟踪她
[16:13] Threats hurt, Jer. 恐吓也会伤人的 杰儿
[16:14] Though not nearly as badly as serrated steel. 不过也完全比不上锯齿刀伤人
[16:18] So keep away from Meghan. 所以离梅根远点
[16:21] Cool? 知道了吗?
[16:22] Yes, sir. 是 先生
[16:23] Then we’re done. 那这事儿就结了
[16:25] Wait. We are? 等等 结了?
[16:27] Yeah. We’re totally done. 是啊 就这么结了
[16:29] You should’ve seen your face. 你真该看看自己那副表情
[16:31] I didn’t know what to do. I was so scared. 我不知道该做什么 我吓到了
[16:32] Soft spot, remember? 我会心软的 记得吗?
[16:35] You even look in her general direction again… 你要是再敢瞟她一眼
[16:37] and you will learn in the worst of ways 我都会让你好好看看
[16:39] that I have some hard spots too. 我硬起来是什么样子
[16:43] That came out wrong. 我这话有歧义吧
[16:45] Or did it? 有吗?
[16:59] Mmm… Meghan? 梅根?
[17:04] You’ve heard the last of Jeremy. He’s sorry. 这是杰里米留给你的最后的话 他说对不起
[17:06] No friggin’ way. 真的吗
[17:13] Should’ve brought my roller blades. 真该把我的直排轮带来
[17:14] Show these kids how it’s done. 给那些小毛头看看该怎么滑
[17:15] Oh. And that’s why we do it. But mostly the money. 这也是种回报哈 但主要还是要给钱
[17:19] Hey, think you could fuck up my step-dad? 嘿 你能去搞定我继父吗?
[17:21] I give a guy a pavement facial, it’s because he’s earned it. 我弄的人都是活该
[17:24] Hey, wait! 嘿 等等
[17:27] You’re my hero. 你是我的英雄
[17:28] No-no-no-no. That I ain’t! 不不不不 我不是
[17:33] Nope. Never will be. 不是 永远不会是
[17:35] Oh. Fuck you, Wade. 去你妈的 韦德
[17:37] I’m just a bad guy who gets paid to fuck up worse guys. 我是个坏人 收钱去教训更坏的人
[17:42] Welcome to Sister Margaret’s. 欢迎来到玛格丽特姐妹酒吧
[17:44] It’s like a job fair for mercenaries. 这里就好像我这种雇佣兵的人才市场
[17:47] Think of us as really fucked up tooth fairies… 就把我们看做混蛋牙仙吧
[17:49] except we knock out the teeth and take the cash. 不同的是 牙仙收集落牙 留下钱 而我们敲掉牙齿 拿走钱
[17:52] You’d best hope we never see your name on a gold card. 你最好祈祷 你的名字不会出现在我们的金卡片上
[17:55] Buck! Liefeld… 巴克 雷菲尔德…
[17:57] Hey, Wade! 嘿 韦德
[17:58] Wade Wilson, patron saint of the pitiful. 韦德威尔逊 可怜人的守护圣人
[17:59] What can I do for you? 需要什么?
[18:01] I’d love a Blow Job. 要 “吹箫”
[18:03] Oh, God, me too. 哦 天呐 我也想要
[18:04] The drink, moose knuckle. But first… 我说的是酒 紧身裤男 不过首先…
[18:08] Hey, and I ain’t taking any babysitting money, all right? 嘿 我不会收人家的保姆钱 好吗?
[18:10] Make sure that gets back to Ms… 记得把这些钱还给…
[18:12] Orlovsky. 奥洛夫斯基
[18:13] Yeah, her. 对 就是她
[18:14] – You sure? – Hmm. – 你确定?- 嗯
[18:15] You know, for a merc, you’re pretty warm-blooded. 作为一个雇佣兵 你心肠还是很好的
[18:18] I bet you let the kid off easy, too. 我打赌你也没拿那男孩怎么样
[18:20] Oh, he’s not a bad kid, Weas. 他也不是个坏孩子 鼹鼠
[18:22] Just a little light stalking. 就是稍稍跟踪了别人
[18:23] I was way worse than him when I was his age. 我在他这个年纪 可比他坏多了
[18:25] I was traveling to exotic places… 我去过国外各种地方…
[18:27] Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jacksonville, 巴格达 摩加迪沙 杰克逊维尔
[18:29] meeting new and exciting people. And then, uh… 看见各种新奇的人 然后…
[18:31] Killing them. Yeah, I’ve seen your Instagram. 杀了他们 是啊 我在你的Instagram上看到过
[18:33] So what was Special Forces doing in Jacksonville, anyway? 那特种部队到底在杰克逊维尔干什么?
[18:36] That’s classified. 那是机密
[18:37] They have a wonderful TGI Fridays. 他们那有家特别赞的星期五餐厅
[18:40] All right, Kahlua, Baileys and… 好吧 咖啡酒 奶酒加…
[18:42] whipped cream. 鲜奶油
[18:43] I give you a Blow Job. 给你一杯 “吹箫”
[18:46] Why do you make me make that? 你干嘛要我做这个?
[18:47] Kelly, Kelly, Kelly… 凯莉 凯莉 凯莉…
[18:49] Take that over to Buck please, 把这个送给巴克
[18:51] and tell him it’s from Boothe. Little foreplay. 告诉他是布思请他的 是个小前戏
[18:53] Remind me what good will come of this? 你这么做有什么好处?
[18:55] I don’t take the shits. I just disturb them. 我不要 我只是骚扰他们
[18:57] – Boothe! – Oh! – 布思 – 噢
[18:59] – Easy, man. – Hold up! Hold up! – 淡定 兄弟 – 等等 住手
[19:00] What you want? 你想要怎样?
[19:04] – Cheers. To your health. – Fuck you. – 干杯 祝你健康 – 干你的
[19:06] Come here, you fat fuck! 过来 你个混蛋的
[19:09] That’s a new stool. 那是条新凳子
[19:15] Stay the fuck down. 你他妈别给老子起来
[19:19] Whoa! Took his ass out! 哇 揍得屁滚尿流
[19:21] All right, move. Move, move, move. 好的 让一让 让一让
[19:23] Buck, go rest. 巴克 一边呆着去
[19:25] Boothe got hit then went down. 布思被揍了 然后倒下了
[19:30] Yeah, he’s still breathing. 他还有呼吸
[19:36] Nobody wins today. 今天没有赢家
[19:37] Nice try, Wade. 手段不错啊 韦德
[19:39] You got me. I picked Boothe in the dead pool. 真给你说准了 我押下一个死的是布思
[19:41] Who did you pick? 你押的谁?
[19:42] Yeah, Wade, about that, um… 嗯 韦德 这个嘛…
[19:45] No. 不是吧
[19:46] You did not bet on me to die. 你不会押我死吧
[19:50] You bet on me to die 你押我死
[19:53] Motherfucker, you’re the world’s worst friend. 去你的 真是世界上最糟糕的朋友
[19:55] Well, joke’s on you. I’m living to 102. 你想的美 我要活到102岁
[19:57] And then dying. Like the city of Detroit. 再死掉 像底特律一样 “长寿”
[19:59] I’m sorry. I just… I wanted to win money. 对不起 我只是… 我想赢钱
[20:02] I never win anything. 我从没赢过什么
[20:04] Whatever. 管你呢
[20:05] Soldiers of fortune, drinks on me! 各位幸运兵 今天酒我请
[20:09] Domestic, nothing imported. 都是国内的酒 没有进口的
[20:14] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa… 哇… 哇…
[20:15] Baby, are you sure you wanna shoot your whole wad? 宝贝 你确定要倾情投入吗?
[20:19] Uh… 呃…
[20:21] Tight. 衣服很紧啊
[20:24] – Vanessa. – Wade. – 瓦妮莎 – 韦德
[20:26] What’s a nice place like you doing in a girl like this? 你这种女孩来这个地方来嘛?
[20:29] I’d hit that. 这妹子我要
[20:32] Buck, you best apologize before… 巴克 你最好道歉 省得…
[20:34] Yeah, that. 对 受这个
[20:36] Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf. 快道歉 肥甘道夫
[20:38] – I’m sorry. – Breathe through the nose. – 抱歉 – 用鼻子呼吸
[20:40] I don’t have a filter between my brain and my… 我的脑子管不好我的…
[20:42] Let go. Okay. Hey, oh, oh, oh… 放手吧 行了 嘿…
[20:44] – Hakuna his tatas. He’s sorry. – I’m working on it. – 放过他吧 他说过抱歉了 – 我是认真的
[20:47] Get out of here. Go. Go cast a spell. 滚吧 快走 找个地儿施咒去
[20:49] Hey. Hands off the merchandise. 别碰这用来卖的身子
[20:53] Merchandise? Huh… 用来卖?
[20:55] So you, uh… 所以你是…
[20:57] bump fuzzies for money? 跟人上床来挣钱的?
[20:59] – Yep. – Rough childhood? – 是的 – 童年很不幸吧?
[21:01] Rougher than yours. 比你的不幸
[21:02] Daddy left before I was born. 我出生前爸爸就走了
[21:04] Daddy left before I was conceived. 我妈怀我前我爸就走了
[21:07] Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin? 有被烟头烫过吗?
[21:09] Where else do you put one out? 不然烟头在哪灭?
[21:10] I was molested. 我小时候被性侵过
[21:11] Me too. Uncle. 我也有过 被我叔叔
[21:13] Uncles. They took turns. 被我好几位叔叔轮奸
[21:16] I watched my own birthday party 我自己的生日派对
[21:17] through the keyhole of a locked closet… 都只能在上了锁的壁橱里透过锁眼看
[21:18] which also happens to be my… 那就是我的…
[21:20] Your bedroom. Lucky. I slept in a dishwasher box. 卧室 真幸运 我睡在放洗碗机的纸盒里
[21:23] You had a dishwasher. 你家还有洗碗机呢
[21:25] I didn’t even know sleep. 我都不知道睡觉是什么滋味
[21:26] It was pretty much 24/7 ball gags, 基本上一天到晚都咬着情趣口塞
[21:28] brownie mix and clown porn. 被爆菊 被小丑上
[21:34] Who would do such a thing? 谁会这么干?
[21:37] Hopefully you, later tonight? 希望是你 今晚晚些时候怎么样?
[21:43] Hey, what can I get for, uh, $275 and a… 嘿 我付你275美元加上…
[21:49] a Yogurtland rewards card? 一张优格冻酸奶店的积分卡怎么样?
[21:51] Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want. 宝贝 给你大概48分钟 想怎么干就怎么干
[21:55] And a low-fat dessert. 再加一杯低脂甜品
[22:04] Did she just put a gift card in your mouth? 她刚刚把一张礼品卡放到你嘴里了?
[22:07] It’s time to put balls in holes. 是时候让球进洞了
[22:10] You said whatever I want. 你说过我想怎么玩就怎么玩
[22:13] I get it. 我明白
[22:14] You love skee ball. 你喜欢玩木滚球
[22:16] Apparently more than you love vagina. 兴趣比对滚床单要大得多
[22:18] That’s a tough call. 好难选
[22:20] I just wanna get to know the real you, you know. 我只是想认识认识真实的你
[22:23] Not the short-shorted, two-dimensional 而不是好莱坞卖的那种
[22:25] sex object peddled by Hollywood. 披着点衣服专门出来撩人的性格卡通形象
[22:27] Balls in holes. 投球吧
[22:29] Balls in holes. 投球
[22:30] Prepare to lose tragically. 等着被打得落花流水吧
[22:31] Bring it, big man. 来啊 大个儿
[22:33] Okay. 好嘞
[22:40] The limited edition 限量版…
[22:41] Voltron: Defender of the Universe ring, por favor. 《战神金刚》 请
[22:45] Okay. Here we go. 好嘞 来选一选
[22:48] Had my eye on this sucker for a while. 我想要这玩意儿想好久了
[22:50] And I will take the pencil eraser. 我要这个橡皮擦
[22:52] Okay. 好
[22:54] You are now the protector of the planet Arus. 现在你是阿瑞斯星的守护者了
[22:57] And you can erase stuff… 而你可以擦掉
[22:59] written in pencil. 铅笔写下的东西
[23:00] M’lady? 女士?
[23:02] Well, I hate to break it to you… 我实在是不想告诉你
[23:03] but your 48 minutes are up. 可是48分钟到了
[23:05] Hey, how many more minutes can I get for this? 嘿 用这个指环能换几分钟?
[23:08] FYI, five mini lion-bots come together 供你参考 五个迷你机器狮
[23:11] to form one super-bot, so… 可以换一个超级机器人
[23:13] Five mini lion-bots? Three minutes. 五个迷你机器狮?那就三分钟
[23:16] Deal. 成交
[23:17] What do we do with the remaining two minutes, 37 seconds? 剩下2分钟37秒我们能做什么?
[23:20] Cuddle? 抱抱?
[23:26] How long can you keep this up? 你能坚持做多久?
[23:28] All year? 一整年?
[23:39] Happy Valentine’s Day. 情人节快乐
[23:49] Happy Chinese New Year. 春节快乐
[23:51] Year of the Dog. 狗年快乐
[23:57] Relax. 放松
[23:59] And Happy International Women’s Day. 妇女节快乐
[24:05] No. No. No. 不 不 不要
[24:11] Happy Lent. 大斋节快乐
[24:17] – Wade’? – Sorry. – 韦德?- 抱歉
[24:19] Happy Halloween. 万圣节快乐
[24:20] Happy Halloween. 万圣节快乐
[24:31] Happy Thanksgiving. 感恩节快乐
[24:35] I love you. 我爱你
[24:40] If your left leg is Thanksgiving… 你的左腿是感恩节
[24:42] and your right leg is Christmas… 右腿是圣诞节
[24:45] can I visit you between the holidays? 我可以在节日中间进去拜访你吗?
[24:48] That sweater is terrible. 毛衣也太丑了
[24:51] But red looks good on you. 不过你穿红色很好看
[24:53] Red’s your color. 你穿红色很合适
[24:54] Brings out the bloodshot in your eyes. 让你眼里的血丝更明显了
[24:57] Listen, I’ve been thinking… 听着 我最近在想…
[24:58] Really? 认真的?
[25:00] about why we’re so good together. 我们为什么那么合拍
[25:02] Why’s that? 为什么?
[25:04] Well, your crazy matches my crazy. Big time. 你的疯狂和我的疯狂正好相配
[25:10] And, uh, we’re like two jigsaw pieces, 我们就像是两块拼图
[25:11] you know, the weird curvy edges… 各自的形状都很奇怪
[25:13] You put them together and you can see the picture on top. 但是拼在一起时 就是一幅完整的图画
[25:16] Right. 是啊
[25:18] Wade… 韦德…
[25:20] there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. 有件事我一直想问你
[25:22] But only because you haven’t gotten around to asking me. 不过只是因为你还没问我
[25:27] Will you, uh… 你愿意…
[25:29] – stick it in my… – Marry me? – 插到我的… – 嫁给我吗?
[25:33] Uh… Jinx? 心有灵犀?
[25:37] Where were you hiding that? 你藏在哪了?
[25:38] Nowhere. 没在哪
[25:40] They say one month’s salary. So, uh… 这是我一个月的工资 所以…
[25:42] You mean? 你真想娶我?
[25:43] I do. 我愿意
[25:44] That’s my line. 那是我的台词
[25:48] I love you, Wade Wilson. 我爱你 韦德威尔逊
[25:51] You’re supposed to… So that’s a… 你是要… 所以说…
[25:52] Yes! Whoo! 好
[25:54] Yes! 好
[25:58] I feel just like a little girl. 我感觉自己就像个小姑娘似的
[26:04] What if I just held on and never let go? 我要是能一直抱着不放手多好啊?
[26:07] Just ride a bitch’s back, like Yoda on Luke. 就像大战快来了 尤达还骑在卢克背上一样
[26:09] Oh, Star Wars jokes. 《星球大战》的笑话
[26:12] Empire. 是《帝国反击战》
[26:15] Jesus Christ. 天呐
[26:16] It’s like I made you in a computer. 你跟我真是天造地设
[26:22] Hey. 嘿
[26:25] Perfect. 完美
[26:30] – Let’s see. – All right, wee break. – 来看看 – 好嘞 去厕所
[26:31] Shake it, yeah. 甩一甩 对
[26:39] Here’s the thing. 是这样的
[26:40] Life is an endless series of train-wrecks… 生活就是一系列的灾难…
[26:42] with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness. 时不时穿插进一小段快乐
[26:47] This had been the ultimate commercial break. 这就是最后的快乐时光了
[26:52] Which meant it was time to return 也就是说
[26:53] to our regularly scheduled program. 是时候回复正常了
[26:55] What the… 搞什么…
[26:57] Oh, my God. Wade? 哦 天呐 韦德?
[27:05] You’re clowning. 你在开玩笑
[27:06] You’re not clowning? 没在开玩笑?
[27:08] I sense clowns. 我感觉你在开玩笑
[27:10] People react to news of late-stage cancer differently. 人们对晚期癌症的诊断会有不同的反应
[27:13] There are certainly options we can look into. 我们当然能看看多种选择
[27:16] New drugs are being developed every day. 现在每天都有新药物被研制出
[27:22] So what do we do? 那我们要怎么办?
[27:24] Surely there is something we can do. 肯定有办法
[27:27] My uncle Ivan was diagnosed with thyroid cancer… 我叔叔伊万就被诊断过患甲状腺癌
[27:30] and there were all these new experimental drugs from Germany. 德国就有很多新的试验药物
[27:33] Vanessa’s already working on Plan A, B, all the way through Z. 瓦妮莎已经开始采取各种计划
[27:37] Me? I’m memorizing the details of her face. 我呢?我在记下她这张脸的所有细节
[27:41] Like it’s the first time I’m seeing it. 就好像我第一次见她
[27:44] Or the last. 或是最后一次
[27:45] Mr. Wilson… 威尔逊先生
[27:47] Mr. Wilson? 威尔逊先生?
[27:48] Take your time to process this. 慢慢消化一下
[27:52] It’s important not to do anything rash. 别急于做任何决定 这很重要
[28:05] Now, if I were a 200-pound sack 如果我是一个90公斤重的
[28:08] of assholes named Francis, where would I hide? 叫弗朗西斯的混蛋 我会在哪?
[28:36] A hush falls over the crowd 观众此刻安静了下来
[28:38] as rookie sensation Wade W. Wilson… 因为天才新人韦德W威尔逊上场了
[28:40] out of Regina, Saskatchewan, lines up the shot. 他来自加拿大萨斯喀彻温省里贾纳市 准备好要开动了
[28:45] His form looks good. 他的姿势不错
[28:49] And that’s why Regina rhymes with fun. 所以里贾纳和 “有意思” 很押韵嘛
[28:54] Ladies and gentlemen, what you’re witnessing… 女士们先生们 你们所看到的…
[28:56] is sweet dick-kicking revenge. 正是一场痛快的复仇赛
[28:59] Oh! Giving him the business. 狠狠来一下
[29:01] Incoming! 来了
[29:03] This is taking unsportsmanlike conduct to a whole new level! 这种行为太缺乏运动员精神了
[29:13] Looking good, Francis. Well rested. 看上去不错啊 弗朗西斯 休息得挺好哈
[29:15] Like you’ve been pitching, not catching. 看着你被爆菊爆得挺多的呀
[29:17] Ringing any bells? No? 记得我不?不记得啦?
[29:24] How about now? 那这样呢?
[29:29] Wade fucking Wilson. 韦德他妈的威尔逊
[29:34] Well, hello, gorgeous. 你好啊 帅哥
[29:35] Yeah, like I got bit by a radioactive Shar-Pei. 我也跟蜘蛛侠一样呢 不过我是被沙皮狗咬了一口
[29:38] Yeah. And whose fault is that, huh, Francis? 该怪谁呢 弗朗西斯?
[29:41] Yeah, time to undo what you did to this butterface. 是时候该跟你就我这张丑爆的脸 好好算算账了
[29:43] Please, you should thank me. 拜托 你该谢谢我吧
[29:45] Apparently, I made you immortal. 显然是我造就了你永生
[29:47] I’m actually quite jealous. 我其实还挺嫉妒呢
[29:48] Yeah, but this ain’t a life worth living, is it? 是哦 不过这种生活可不快活 知道吗?
[29:53] Now, I’m about to do to you 我要像90年代末软饼干乐队
[29:54] what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s. 糟蹋音乐那么糟蹋你
[29:59] Dad? 老爸?
[30:03] I think we can all agree that shit just went sideways 大家都同意很多事情
[30:06] in the most colossal way. 都不受控制
[30:09] Well, maybe not the most. 好吧 或许还不是最糟的
[30:11] Uh… This is my most prized possession. 这是我最宝贝的东西
[30:16] Wham? 威猛乐队?
[30:17] No, no, no. Wham! 不不不 是威猛乐队
[30:19] Make It Big is the album that George and Andy earned the exclamation point. 《飞黄腾达》这张专辑 是乔治和安迪的巅峰之作
[30:24] So, am I supposed to just smile 那我是不是应该
[30:25] and wave you out the door? 笑着请你出去?
[30:27] Think of it like spring cleaning. 就当做是春季大扫除嘛
[30:28] Only if spring was death. 不过春天可能就等于死
[30:30] God, if I had a nickel for every time 天呐 我这五分硬币的数量
[30:32] I spanked it to Bernadette Peters. 和对着伯娜黛特皮特丝撸的次数差不多啊
[30:35] Sounds like you do. 好像是这么回事呢
[30:37] Bernadette is not going anywhere, 伯娜黛特哪也不去
[30:39] because you’re not going anywhere. 因为你哪也不去
[30:41] Drink. 喝了
[30:42] You’re right. Cancer is only in my liver, 没错 癌症也只在我的肝里
[30:44] lungs, prostate, and brain. 肺里 前列腺里 脑子里嘛
[30:45] All things I can live without. 没了这些我肯定还能活
[30:48] You belong here at home. 你要呆在家
[30:50] Surrounded by your Voltron 呆在你的战神金刚
[30:52] and your Bernadette, and your me. 你的伯娜黛特和你的我这里
[30:55] Listen, we both know that cancer is a shit-show. 听着 你我都知道癌症就相当于完蛋
[31:01] Like, a Yakov-Smirnoff-opening-for-the 完蛋到极点
[31:03] Spin-Doctors-at-the-lowa-State-Fair shit-show. 完蛋到不能更完蛋
[31:08] And under no circumstances will I take you to that show. 我不可能让你卷进来
[31:13] I want you to remember me. 我希望你能记得我
[31:17] Not the ghost of Christmas me. 不是一个憔悴不堪的我
[31:19] Well, I wanna remember us. 我想记住我们
[31:21] I swear to God, I will find you in the next life… 我发誓 下辈子我还会找到你
[31:23] and I’m gonna boom-box Careless Whisper outside your window. 我要在你的窗外 用手提音响放《无心快语》
[31:26] Wham! 威猛乐队
[31:31] No one is boom-boxing shit. Okay? 别扯什么放歌行吗?
[31:36] We can fight this. 我们会战胜癌症的
[31:41] Besides, I just realized something. 而且 我刚刚意识到
[31:44] You win. Your life is officially way more fucked up than mine. 你赢了 你的生命比我的要糟糕多了
[31:53] I love you. 我爱你
[32:06] Wade. 韦德
[32:09] Weas. 鼹鼠
[32:11] You look like you need a Blow Job and a shower. 你好像需要来杯 “吹箫” 再去洗个澡啊
[32:13] Though courtesy calls for the latter first. 礼貌起见 还是应该先洗澡
[32:15] How about three shots of Patron? 来三杯帕特龙龙舌兰吧?
[32:17] Or how about Triticum aestivum, wheatgrass. 不然来一把小麦草?
[32:21] Excellent for the immune system. 对免疫系统好
[32:22] Jesus Christ. You sound like Vanessa. 天呐 你这话听着就像瓦妮莎说的
[32:24] Here, check it out. 喏 看看这个
[32:26] She’s sending away for all these colorful clinic brochures. 她预约了这么多 花花绿绿的医疗小册子上的诊所
[32:29] I’m sure they’re all FDA approved. 肯定全是通过食品和药物管理局审核的
[32:31] Chechnya. Isn’t that where you go to get cancer? 车臣 去那难道不是更容易得癌症吗?
[32:34] You got China and Central Mexico. 还有中国 墨西哥中部
[32:37] You know how they say “cancer” in Spanish? 知道他们怎么用西班牙语说 “癌症” 吗?
[32:40] No. 不知道
[32:41] El Cancer. 癌症
[32:43] I could have guessed that. 我本来能猜出来的
[32:45] Look how happy you look here. 看看这张照片上你多开心
[32:47] Mind if I keep this? Put it up, 介意给我留着吗?把它挂起来
[32:49] so I can remember when you looked alive. 这样我就能记得你生龙活虎时的样子了
[32:52] At least now I’m gonna win the dead pool. 起码死亡赌局我要赢啦
[32:54] Now that you’re gonna die tragically of cancer. 毕竟你要悲惨地死于癌症
[32:56] I got it, Weas. Thanks. 我知道了 鼹鼠 谢谢
[33:01] And, uh, that guy over there came in looking for you. 那边的那人是来找你的
[33:03] Real Grim Reaper type. 这名片还真有死神的感觉
[33:06] I don’t know. Might further the plot. 我也不知道 兴许能帮你活着演完呢
[33:12] Boothe. 布斯
[33:13] Wade. 韦德
[33:20] Mr. Wilson. 威尔逊先生
[33:21] How can I help you? 找我有什么事?
[33:22] Besides luring children into a panel van. 除了帮你诱拐儿童到货车里
[33:25] I understand you’ve recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. 我知道你最近被诊断出癌症晚期
[33:29] Stalker alert. 你调查我?
[33:30] It’s my job. Recruitment. 这是我的职责 负责招人
[33:33] I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough go. 很遗憾你现在过得很艰难
[33:37] But you’re a fighter. Special Forces. 但你是名战士 属于特种部队
[33:39] 41 confirmed kills. 服役期间杀死41人
[33:42] One every seven weeks. 每七周杀一个
[33:43] Same rate most folks get a haircut. 和人家理发的频率一样
[33:46] It’s to wash the taste out. 为了能缓冲杀人的滋味
[33:48] It’s tough to forget being so impressive. 要忘记杀人的滋味可不容易
[33:51] And now you spend your days 如今你致力于
[33:53] sticking up for the little people… 帮助那些可怜人…
[33:55] People change. What do you want? 人也会变 你想要什么?
[33:57] I represent an organization that may be able to help. 我代表一个组织而来 我们或许能帮到你
[34:02] What if I told you we can cure your cancer? 我要是告诉你我们可以治愈你的癌症呢?
[34:06] And what’s more, give you abilities most men only dream of? 而且还能赋予你 大多数人都梦寐以求的能力?
[34:14] I’d say that you sound like an infomercial, 我觉得你有点像电视上卖广告的
[34:16] but not a good one, like Slap Chop. 但卖的不是什么好东西
[34:18] More Shake Weight-y. 像震动摇摆哑铃那种
[34:20] The world needs extraordinary soldiers. 这世界需要非凡的战士
[34:23] We won’t just make you better. 我们不但能让你变得更好
[34:25] We will make you better than better. 而且能让你比更好还好
[34:29] A superhero. 成为一个超级英雄
[34:31] Look, Agent Smith, 听着 史密斯特工
[34:34] I tried the hero business and it left a mark. 英雄这档子事我做过 可没留下什么好底
[34:36] But if I ever hit “fuck it,” I’ll look you up. 不过我要是最后改主意了 我会联系你的
[34:41] Shit. We’re within 500 yards of a school, 糟了 这附近就有一所学校
[34:43] so you may wanna… 所以你走的时候得…
[34:49] His drink’s on him. 他喝的自己付钱
[34:56] What did he say? 他说了什么?
[35:20] Hey, what’s going on? 嘿 你怎么了?
[35:22] Hey. Sorry. 嘿 抱歉
[35:26] I had a Liam Neeson nightmare. 我做噩梦梦到连姆尼森了
[35:29] I dreamt I kidnapped his daughter 我梦到自己绑架了他女儿
[35:30] and he just wasn’t having it. 他老生气了
[35:40] Hey, uh, they’ve made three of those movies. 嘿 《飓风营救》拍了三部
[35:45] At some point you have to wonder if he’s just a bad parent. 看电影时 会让人不得不想 他到底是不是个好父亲
[36:03] The worst part about cancer isn’t what it does to you… 癌症最可怕的 不是它对你的影响
[36:07] but what it does to the people you love. 而是它对你爱的人造成的影响
[36:10] Who knew if this guy could save my life… 谁知道那人能不能救我的命…
[36:12] but I knew there was only one way that I could save hers. 而我却清楚 要救她 只有这一种办法
[36:19] Isn’t that what superheroes do? 超级英雄不就是这样吗?
[36:34] Okay. Let’s pro-con this superhero thing. 好嘞 我们来列一个 当超级英雄好处和坏处的单子
[36:40] Pro: They pull down a gaggle of ass. 好处 一大帮辣妹恨不得让你扑倒
[36:43] Local dry cleaning discounts. 能享受当地干洗折扣
[36:44] Lucrative film deals, both origin stories 能拍电影赚大钱 不管是原创个人故事
[36:46] and larger ensemble team movies. 还是组队打怪电影
[36:48] Con: They’re all lame-ass teacher’s pets. 坏处 他们都是可怜的听话乖宝宝
[36:51] You know, I can hear you. 你知道 我能听到你说话
[36:53] I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to them. 我又不是在跟你说 我在跟观众说
[36:56] Stay right here. 呆在这别动
[36:59] You’ve been warned before, Deadpool. 你收到过警告 死侍
[37:01] This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. 你这么用你的能力 显得十分鲁莽 可耻
[37:05] You will both be coming with us. 你俩我们都要押回去
[37:07] Look, Colossus, I don’t have time for 听着 钢巨人 我现在没时间
[37:09] the goody two-shoes bullshit right now! 跟你扯什么正义不正义 该不该做
[37:11] And you are? 你是?
[37:14] Negasonic Teenage Warhead. 黑后少年弹头
[37:16] Negasonic Teenage… What the shit? 黑后少年… 什么鬼?
[37:20] That’s the coolest name ever! 简直是我听过最炫酷的名字
[37:23] So, what, you’re like, uh, his sidekick? 所以你是他的副手?
[37:26] No. Trainee. 不 是受训人
[37:27] Let me guess. 让我猜猜
[37:29] X-Men left you behind on what? Shit detail? X战警把你留下来干嘛?做这种烦心事?
[37:31] What does that make you? 那你要干什么?
[37:32] Pretending you’re not here, Negasonic Teenage Warhead. 假装你不在这啊 黑后少年弹头
[37:35] Can we trade names? 我们能换个名字吗?
[37:36] Can we go? 我们可以走吗?
[37:38] Look! I’m a teenage girl. 看呀 我还是个少女呢
[37:40] I’d rather be anywhere than here. 我去哪也不来这
[37:42] I’m all about long sullen silences… 我不开心啦 不说话啦
[37:45] followed by mean comments, followed by more silences. 我要发脾气骂人啦 然后又要不作声啦
[37:49] So what’s it gonna be, huh? Long sullen silence… 所以你到底会怎么做呢?是生闷气不作声呢
[37:52] or mean comment? Go on. 还是发脾气骂人?说吧
[37:56] You got me in a box here. 我说不过你
[37:58] We can’t allow this, Deadpool. 我们不允许这种行为 死侍
[38:00] Please, come quietly. 拜托 安安静静地跟我们走吧
[38:02] You big chrome cock-gobbler! 你个大蠢驴铁块
[38:04] That’s not nice. 这么说可不够友好
[38:05] You’re really gonna fuck this up for me? 你真要坏我的事?
[38:07] Trust me, that wheezing bag of dick-tips has it coming. 相信我 那个傻逼他活该
[38:11] He’s pure evil. 他就是个十足的混蛋
[38:14] Besides… Nobody’s getting hurt. 而且… 也没人受伤啊
[38:23] That guy was already up there when I got here. 我到这的时候他就已经在那了
[38:25] Wade, you are better than this. 韦德 你不至于这样
[38:28] – Join us. Use your powers for good. – Heads up. – 加入我们吧 用你的能力去做好事 – 抬头
[38:32] Be a superhero. 做一个超级英雄
[38:33] Listen! 听好了
[38:34] The day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit-swizzler… 在我决定要成为打击犯罪的恶棍的那天
[38:37] who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at the Neverland mansion… 决定和另一帮怨声载道的人 在梦幻庄园做室友时
[38:40] of some creepy, old, bald, 庄园的主人还是个又老又丑的秃头
[38:43] Heaven’s Gate-looking motherfucker… 长得就像信了邪教似的一个混蛋
[38:45] on that day… 就在那天
[38:47] I’ll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request. 我会发送给你一个 闪闪发光 快乐的好友请求
[38:49] But until then, I’mma do what I came here to do. 但在那之前 我要把我来这的目的完成
[38:52] Either that or slap the bitch outta you! 不让我做 我就一巴掌呼死你
[38:54] – Wade… – Hey. – 韦德 – 嘿
[38:56] Zip it, Sinéad! 闭嘴 小平头
[38:57] Hey, douche-pool! 嘿 死傻
[38:58] And I hope you’re watching… 我希望你在看…
[39:04] Quite unfortunate. 真可惜
[39:09] That does it! 去他的
[39:14] Canada! 加拿大
[39:19] That’s not good. 这可不好
[39:20] Wade, please. 韦德 拜托
[39:21] Cock shot! 击裆
[39:24] Oh, your poor wife. 你老婆真可怜
[39:26] You really should stop. 你真该住手了
[39:31] All the dinosaurs feared the T. rex. 恐龙都怕霸王龙吧
[39:38] I promise this gets worse for you, big boy! 我保证有你好看的 大块头
[39:40] This is embarrassing. 真是尴尬
[39:42] Please, stay down. 拜托 别起来
[39:45] You ever hear of the one-legged man in the ass-kicking contest? 听说过一条腿也能打架的人吗?
[39:48] Do you have off switch? 你身上有开关能关上吗?
[39:49] Yeah, it’s right next to the prostate. 有啊 就在前列腺旁边
[39:51] Or is that the on switch? 可能是打开的开关哦?
[39:52] Enough! 够了
[40:03] Let us go talk to the Professor. 我们去和X教授谈一谈
[40:05] McAvoy or Stewart? 麦卡沃伊演的还是斯图尔特演的?
[40:07] These timelines are so confusing. 时间线真是混乱啊
[40:10] “Dead or alive, you’re coming with me!” “不管是生是死 你都要跟我走”
[40:13] You will recover, Wade. 你会恢复的 韦德
[40:15] You always do. 你一向都能自我恢复
[40:21] You ever see 127 Hours? Spoiler alert. 看过《127小时》吗?剧透提示
[40:28] Oh, my God. 噢 天呐
[40:29] Nasty. 真恶心
[40:34] Oh, there’s the money shot, baby. 这里可是卖点啊 宝贝
[40:36] Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. 天啊 我来啦
[40:49] Rock, meet bottom. 不能更倒霉了
[40:52] And when life ends up breathtakingly fucked… 当生活极其不如意时
[40:55] you can generally trace it back to one big, bad decision. 你可以回想下某个重大的 糟糕的决定
[41:00] The one that sent you down the road to Shitsburgh. 那个一路把你带到谷底的决定
[41:03] This? Well, this was mine. 这个?这就是我的那个决定
[41:06] Mr. Wilson. 威尔逊先生
[41:09] Nothing warms my heart more than a change of someone else’s. 最让我暖心的事 就是别人改变心意了
[41:14] You finally hit “fuck it.” 你终于决定了
[41:17] Just promise you’ll do right by me. 答应我你要对得起我
[41:19] So I can do right by someone else. 这样我才对得起另一个人
[41:21] Of course. 这是当然
[41:23] And please don’t make the super-suit green. 别把战服做成绿色的啊
[41:26] Or animated. 上面也不要有动画啊
[41:34] Move it! Keep moving. 移过去 继续
[41:48] This place seems sanitary. 这地儿还真是卫生呢
[41:51] My first request is warmer hands. 我的第一个要求就是抬我的人手要暖点
[41:53] Oh! And, Jesus, a warmer table. 还有 我的天 手术台也要暖点
[41:58] We should really come up with a safe word, fellas. 我们真该想个安全暗号 伙计们
[42:01] I’m thinking “pork and beans.” 我在想 “猪肉和豆子” 怎么样
[42:06] Easy. 轻点
[42:10] Aren’t you a little strong for a lady? 你身为一个女的 劲儿也太大了吧
[42:13] I’m calling wang. 你肯定长了小弟弟吧
[42:18] What’s up with the matches? 叼根火柴干嘛?
[42:20] Oral fixation or just a big Stallone fan? 修整牙齿的?还是模仿史泰龙?
[42:24] Patience, Angel. 耐心点 安琪尔
[42:26] All in good time. 以后有的是时间
[42:28] Are you here for the turndown service, or what? 你是来铺床的还是干嘛的?
[42:32] We have another talker. 又来一个话多的
[42:33] I’m just excited about my first day at superhero camp. 我第一天加入超级英雄阵营太激动了
[42:35] Shut the fuck up. 你他妈闭嘴
[42:40] Mr. Wilson, my name’s Ajax. 威尔逊先生 我叫阿贾克斯
[42:43] I manage this workshop. 这个工作坊是我开的
[42:46] Ah, my welcome speech used to be full of euphemisms like… 我们过去的欢迎词中全是婉言 比如说
[42:50] “This may hurt a little.” “可能会有一点点痛”
[42:51] “This may cause you some discomfort.” “你可能会感到一点点不适”
[42:53] But I’ve grown blunt. 不过我现在诚实多了
[42:56] This workshop is not a government-led program. 这个工作坊的项目不是由政府牵头的
[42:58] It’s a private institution that turns reclamation projects like yourself… 是个私人机构 专门把你这样的回收物
[43:02] into men of extraordinary abilities. 变成具有超能力的人
[43:07] But if you think super-human powers are acquired painlessly… 不过你要是以为超能力 可以不付代价就获得…
[43:11] Wrong. 那就错了
[43:13] I’m injecting you with a serum… 我现在给你注射一种血清
[43:14] that activates any mutant genes lurking in your DNA. 可以激活你的DNA中潜在的突变基因
[43:17] For it to work we need to subject you to extreme stress. 为了让其有效 我们需要让你承受极端的压力
[43:27] You’ve heard that whole “make an omelet, break some eggs” bit, right? 你也听说过 “要做蛋卷 先打碎蛋” 吧?
[43:31] I’m about to hurt you, Wade. 我会让你很痛的 韦德
[43:33] I was a patient here once myself, you know. 我曾经也是这里的一名病人
[43:36] The treatment affects everyone differently. 治疗对于每个人的效果都不同
[43:39] It made Angel inhumanly strong. 安琪尔因此变得超乎常人得强壮
[43:42] In my case, it enhanced my reflexes. 至于我 我的反射能力得以提升
[43:47] Also scorched my nerve endings, so I no longer feel pain. 也烧焦了我的神经末梢 让我感觉不到疼痛
[43:51] And, in fact, I no longer feel anything. 其实 我什么也感觉不到了
[44:04] Thanks! Thank you. Thank you. 谢谢 多谢 多谢
[44:07] You have something in your teeth. 你牙齿里有东西
[44:10] Right in the middle there. Just, I don’t… 就在正中间 我没…
[44:12] A little nugget of romaine lettuce or something. 应该是片生菜还是什么的
[44:17] It’s been bothering me for a long time. 我看着闹心了好一会儿呢
[44:21] Ah, made you look. 骗到你啦
[44:22] Hey, is Ajax your actual name? 嘿 阿贾克斯是你的真名吗?
[44:24] Because it sounds suspiciously made up. 听上去像是你编出来的一样
[44:25] What is it, really? 你真名叫什么?
[44:27] Kevin? Bruce? Scott? 凯文?布鲁斯?斯科特?
[44:29] Mitch? The Rickster? 米奇?里克斯特?
[44:31] Is it Basil Fawlty? 还是巴西弗尔蒂?
[44:33] Oh, joke away. 笑话真够多的
[44:35] One thing that never survives this place 幽默感在这里
[44:36] is a sense of humor. 从来就留不长久
[44:38] We’ll see about that. 我们等着瞧
[44:40] I suppose we will. 我也这么想
[44:42] He’s all yours. 他交给你了
[44:44] Oh, come on. 不是吧
[44:46] You’re gonna leave me all alone here 你要把我留在这
[44:47] with less-angry Rosie O’Donnell? 和火气没那么大的罗茜欧唐内单独共处?
[44:53] This is how it’s going to work. 就是这样
[44:55] Adrenaline acts as a catalyst for the serum… 肾上腺素是这种血清的催化剂
[44:59] so we’re going to have to make you suffer. 所以我们要你不好受
[45:03] If you’re lucky, the mutant genes will activate 你走运的话 突变基因会被激活
[45:05] and manifest in a spectacular fashion. 并以非常壮观的方式表达出来
[45:12] If not, well, we’ll have to keep on hurting you… 要是不幸 我们就得继续折磨你…
[45:17] in new and different ways, 用新的 不同的方法折磨
[45:18] each more painful than the last… 每一个都更令人痛苦
[45:23] until you finally mutate. 直到最后你发生突变
[45:26] Or die. 或者死掉
[45:35] You mean a bucket list? 你是说人生清单?
[45:36] Like a fuck-it list. 还狗生清单呢
[45:39] I’d really like to light a spliff off the Olympic torch. 我想用奥运火炬点根烟
[45:42] Pass it to me right after. 然后给我来一口
[45:44] Let’s not forget naked tandem base-jumping 别忘了和WNBA萨克拉门托君主队队员
[45:47] with the WNBA’s Sacramento Monarchs. 双人裸体定点跳伞
[45:51] Anything on my bucket list would involve public nudity. 我的清单里肯定有在公共场合裸露
[45:54] Finally, giving Meredith Baxter-Birney a Dutch oven. 最后把梅雷迪斯巴克斯特闷在被子里 闻一闻我在里面放的屁
[45:58] No. Receiving a Dutch oven from Meredith Baxter-Birney. 不 闻梅雷迪斯巴克斯特的屁
[46:05] Making banana pancakes for my kids. 给我的孩子们做香蕉烙饼
[46:12] Vanessa. 瓦妮莎
[46:18] I wanna see Vanessa. 我想见瓦妮莎
[46:20] You’re lovely. 你真可爱呢
[46:22] I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m touched. 我虽然不知道你说的是谁 但我很感动
[46:25] We were just joking. 我们只是在开玩笑
[46:26] No, no. It’s okay. 不 没关系
[46:30] I encourage distractions. 我鼓励你们分散注意力
[46:32] Wouldn’t want you giving up on us, now would we? 我不希望你们就这么放弃 好吗?
[46:34] Hey, don’t take any shit from him, Cunningham. 嘿 别他妈任他摆弄 坎宁安
[46:37] How tough can he be… 他能有多厉害
[46:40] with a name like Francis? 就凭他叫弗朗西斯这种名字?
[46:43] Francis? 弗朗西斯?
[46:45] That’s his legal name. 那是他合法登记的名字
[46:47] He got “Ajax” from the dish soap. “阿贾克斯” 这名字是他借鉴洗洁精来的
[46:56] Oops! 哎哟
[46:59] Snagged the dry cleaning tag off your lab coat. 我从你的白大褂上 顺下来这个干洗的名字牌
[47:04] FYI, I could probably get you the superhero discount. 顺便一说 说不定 我能给你个超级英雄的折扣
[47:07] You are so relentlessly annoying. 你真是无休止地讨人嫌
[47:08] Thanks. 谢谢
[47:09] Never heard that before. 这话我还没听过呢
[47:10] Why don’t you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up? 你行行好闭上你那张臭嘴行吗?
[47:14] Or I’ll sew your pretty mouth shut. 不然我就把你的嘴封上
[47:18] I wouldn’t do that if I were you. 我要是你就不会这么做
[47:19] See, here’s the problem with round-the-clock torture… 这种没个头的折磨有个问题…
[47:23] is that you can’t really step it up from there. 你没法真正地加强程度或提高频率
[47:28] Is that what you think? 你是这么认为的?
[47:36] If this doesn’t unlock your mutation, then, well… 如果这还不能激活你突变 那…
[47:39] nothing will. 就没什么能激活了
[47:41] Now, what we’re going to do is 现在我们要
[47:42] lower the oxygen concentration in the air… 降低空气中的氧气浓度
[47:44] to the exact point you feel like you’re suffocating. 直到你感觉将要窒息
[47:47] If your brainwaves slow, 如果你的脑电波慢下来
[47:48] meaning you’re about to pass out… 也就是意味着你即将失去知觉
[47:51] then we’ll turn up the O2. 我们就会补充氧气
[47:53] If your heart rate slows… 如果你心率降低
[47:54] meaning you’re able to catch your breath… 也就是说你喘得过来气
[47:57] we’ll turn it back down. 我们就会停止氧气供给
[47:59] And that’s where we’ll leave you. Right there. 你就在那经受这些吧
[48:03] Oh, and I thought you guys were dicks before. 你们以前一定是大混蛋
[48:05] You know the funniest part of this? 知道最有意思的是什么吗?
[48:09] You still think we’re making you a superhero. 你还以为我们在把你变成超级英雄呢
[48:12] You. A dishonorable discharge. 你 一个可耻的退伍兵
[48:16] Hip-deep in hookers. 只知道和妓女鬼混
[48:19] You’re nothing. 你什么也不是
[48:21] Little secret, Wade. 告诉你个小秘密吧 韦德
[48:24] This workshop doesn’t make superheroes, 这个工作坊不制造超级英雄
[48:26] we make super-slaves. 我们制造的是超级奴隶
[48:29] We’re gonna fit you with a control collar 我们会给你定制一个控制颈圈
[48:31] and auction you off to the highest bidder. 然后把你卖给出价最高的客户
[48:33] Who knows what they’ll have you doing? 谁知道他们会让你做什么呢?
[48:36] Terrorizing citizens, putting down freedom fighters. 恐吓平民 虐杀为自由而战的人
[48:41] Maybe just mow the occasional lawn. 说不定只是偶尔让你割割草
[48:45] What the fuck is wrong with you? 你他妈有什么毛病?
[48:52] You’re never going home after this. 经历过这些 你不可能回家了
[48:55] Now there’s a brave face. 看看你这张英勇的面庞
[48:58] Wait, wait! Wait. Wait. 等等 等等
[49:02] Seriously, you actually have something in your teeth now. 说真的 你的牙齿上真的有东西
[49:08] Enjoy your weekend. 周末快乐
[49:10] “Weekend”? Back up. “周末” ?说什么?
[49:12] Weekend? 周末?
[49:55] Did I say this was a love story? 我说过这是个爱情故事吗?
[49:57] No, it’s a horror movie. 不 其实是部惊悚片
[50:16] Fucking hell. 真恶心
[50:18] Looks like someone lost his shot at Homecoming King. 看来有人当不上返校舞会的国王了
[50:21] What have you done to me? 你对我做了什么?
[50:23] I’ve merely raised your stress levels 我只是增加了你的压力值
[50:25] high enough to trigger a mutation. 好触发你发生突变啊
[50:27] You sadistic fuck! 你个混蛋虐待狂
[50:29] I’ve cured you, Wade. 我治好了你的癌症 韦德
[50:32] Now your mutated cells can heal anything. 如今你的变异细胞什么都能治愈
[50:35] It’s attacking your cancer as fast as it can form. 它们正在攻击你的癌细胞 和形成的速度一样快
[50:39] Yeah, I’ve seen similar side-effects before. 我之前也见过类似的副作用
[50:42] I could cure them… 我能治好
[50:47] but where’s the fun in that? 但这不就没意思了吗?
[50:51] Now, I’m gonna shut you in again, Wade. 我要再次把你关起来 韦德
[50:55] Not because I need to. 不是出于需要
[51:01] Because I want to. 而是因为我想这么玩
[51:18] Oh, well. 好吧
[51:19] Go ahead. 继续
[51:23] Oh, you smell like shit. 你闻着就像便便一样
[51:28] Motherfucker. 妈的
[51:30] Hey, hey, hey. It’s all right, it’s all right. 嘿 嘿 淡定 没关系
[51:33] I think we owe him that one, yeah? 就算我们欠他的 好吗?
[51:35] You take off. Go on. 你先走吧 走吧
[51:39] Off you go. 走吧
[51:51] Quick question. 一个小问题
[51:55] What’s my name? 我叫什么?
[52:03] Didn’t think so. 看来你不会回答了
[52:06] Sorry, Francis. My lips are sealed. 抱歉 弗朗西斯 我的嘴唇被封起来了
[54:05] You don’t want to kill me. 你不会杀我的
[54:06] I’m the only one who can fix your ugly mug. 只有我能治好你这张丑脸
[55:05] What’s my name? 我叫什么?
[55:13] Wade. 韦德
[56:22] I didn’t just get the cure to el cancer… 我不仅被治好了癌症…
[56:26] I got the cure to el everything. 而且什么都能被治好
[56:33] But there was only one thing… 但只有一件事…
[56:35] that really mattered. 很麻烦
[57:06] Come on, let’s go. 来吧 我们走
[57:12] Oh, that must hurt. 噢 一定很疼
[57:16] Thank you so much. 非常感谢
[57:29] God, he’s so fucking gnarly. 我去 一脸瘤啊
[57:32] Look at his face. 快看他脸
[57:33] Oh, my God. Poor guy. 噢 天呐 他好可怜
[57:36] Honey, don’t stare. 宝贝 别盯着人家看
[57:37] Freak. 怪人
[57:58] No way. I’m not making her life as ugly as mine. 不行 我不能让她的生活和我的一样丑陋
[58:02] Come on, Wade, it can’t be that bad. 别啊 韦德 不会那么糟的
[58:05] Ah, bullshit! 狗屁
[58:06] I’m a monster inside and out. I belong in a fucking circus. 我从内到外都是个怪物 我就该去个该死的马戏团
[58:09] Wade, Vanessa loves you. She doesn’t care what you… 韦德 瓦妮莎爱你 她不会在乎你…
[58:14] Do you like what you see? 你喜欢你眼前的这副样子吗?
[58:15] No. 不
[58:16] You look like an avocado 你就像一只鳄梨
[58:18] had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado. 和另一只更老更丑的鳄梨生下来的
[58:21] Yeah. 是啊
[58:22] Not gently. Like it was hate-fucking. 而且还没好好传宗接代 像是被强暴后生下来的
[58:24] There was something wrong with the relationship… 那两只鳄梨关系出了问题
[58:26] and that was the only catharsis 你的脸是他们唯一不用暴力解决
[58:28] that they could find without violence. 而排出来的东西
[58:29] And the only guy who can fix this fugly mug… 唯一能治好这张丑脸的人
[58:32] is the British shitstick who ran the mutant factory. 就是那个突变工厂的英国恶搞老板
[58:35] And he’s gone. Poof! 他跑了 嘭
[58:37] Yeah, well you gotta do something to remedy this… 你得做些什么来补救
[58:38] because as of now, 因为照现在来看
[58:40] you only have one course of action. 你这张脸只有一种办法可以挽救
[58:41] Damn straight. 真对
[58:43] – Find Francis. – Star in horror films. – 找到弗朗西斯 – 演惊悚片
[58:45] What? 什么?
[58:46] Star in your own horror films. 拍你自己的惊悚片
[58:48] Because you look like Freddy Krueger 你看上去就像《猛鬼街》里弗莱迪克鲁格
[58:49] face-fucked a topographical map of Utah. 上了一张犹他州的地形图
[58:53] Here’s what I’m actually gonna do. 我打算这么做
[58:54] I’m gonna work through his crew 我要把他手下的人 从下弄到上
[58:56] until somebody gives up Francis… 直到掏出弗朗西斯的消息
[58:57] force him to fix this, then put a bullet in his skull… 逼他修好我的脸 然后一枪毙了他
[59:00] and fuck the brain hole. 然后冲着他脑袋上的洞来一炮
[59:01] I don’t wanna see that or think of it again. 这画面真让我不敢想更不敢看
[59:04] But the douchebag does thinks you’re dead, right? 不过那个混蛋是以为你死了吧?
[59:06] Yeah. 对
[59:08] That’s good. You should keep it that way. 很好 你就一直让他以为你死了
[59:09] What, like, wear a mask? 怎么 戴副面具什么的?
[59:11] Yes. A very thick mask. All the time. 对 一副非常厚的面具 一直戴着
[59:15] I am sorry… 不好意思
[59:16] you are haunting. 你这张脸太难忘了
[59:18] Your face is the stuff of nightmares. 简直就是噩梦
[59:20] Like a testicle with teeth. 像是长了牙齿的蛋蛋是吧
[59:22] You will die alone. 你到死都娶不到妹子的
[59:24] I mean, if you could die. 前提是你能死
[59:26] Ideally, for others’ sake. 希望如此 这是为大家好
[59:28] That’ll do. 够了
[59:29] All you need now is a suit and a nickname… 你现在需要一身战服和一个外号
[59:31] like Wade the Wisecracker… 比如韦德 “逗你玩”
[59:34] or Scaredevil, Mr. Neverdie. 或者恐怖恶魔 不死先生
[59:37] Oh, shit. 该死
[59:39] What? 怎么了?
[59:41] I put all my money on you and now… 我把钱都押在你身上了 现在
[59:43] I just realized I’m never gonna win the, uh… 我刚刚才想到 我是不可能赢
[59:45] Dead pool. 死侍
[59:50] Captain Deadpool… 死侍队长
[59:54] No, just… 不 就叫…
[59:55] – Just Deadpool, yeah. – Just Deadpool. – 就叫死侍 对 – 就叫死侍
[59:57] To you, Mr. Pool. 敬你 死侍先生
[59:59] Deadpool. 死侍
[1:00:00] That sounds like a fucking franchise. 听上去好卖座的名字
[1:00:16] This shit’s gonna have nuts in it. 我要去好好折磨折磨人了
[1:00:19] Where’s Francis? 弗朗西斯去哪了?
[1:00:34] Where’s Francis? 弗朗西斯在哪?
[1:00:44] Seltzer water and lemon for blood. 苏打水加柠檬 去血渍
[1:00:48] Or wear red. Dumbass. 直接穿红的不就行了 蠢货
[1:01:09] Don’t make me ask twice. 别让我再问一遍
[1:01:12] Where… 在哪?
[1:01:14] is Francis? 弗朗西斯在哪?
[1:01:16] He made me ask twice. 他让我问了两遍
[1:01:18] Is the mask muffling my voice? 这面具是不是隔音?
[1:01:25] Where’s Francis? 弗朗西斯在哪?
[1:01:29] Where the fuck is Francis? 弗朗西斯他妈的在哪?
[1:01:39] You’re about to be killed by a Zamboni. 你会被磨冰机给碾死的
[1:01:43] Where’s Francis? 弗朗西斯在哪?
[1:01:45] No! Please! 不要 求求你
[1:01:47] Oh, God! I’m so sorry! 哦 天呐 我好抱歉哟
[1:01:51] Oh! You little spider monkey! 你个小蜘蛛猴
[1:01:57] Where… is… Francis? 弗朗西斯… 在… 哪里?
[1:02:02] This is confusing. 好纠结啊
[1:02:03] Is it sexist to hit you? 打你是不是性别歧视啊?
[1:02:04] Is it more sexist to not hit you? 不打你会不会是更严重的性别歧视?
[1:02:06] I mean, the line gets real… blurry. 这其中的界限真是… 模糊呢
[1:02:09] WHERE IS FRANCIS? 弗朗西斯在哪?
[1:02:12] Tell me where your fucking boss is 告诉我你那个该死的老板在哪
[1:02:14] or you’re gonna die! 不说你就去死
[1:02:16] In five minutes! 倒数五分钟
[1:02:28] Don’t hesitate to call me. 打给我别犹豫
[1:02:45] Nice to see you, Jared. 你好啊 杰拉德
[1:02:48] I’ll take the footlong… 我要个12寸的三明治…
[1:02:50] Fully loaded. 要加满料
[1:03:07] 41 confirmed kills. 服役期间杀死41人
[1:03:09] Now it’s 89. About to be 90. 现在是89条人命了 马上就到90了
[1:03:12] Mr. Wilson? 威尔逊先生?
[1:03:13] Ding-ding. 叮… 叮
[1:03:15] You’re looking very alive. 你看上去真是生龙活虎
[1:03:17] Ha! Only on the outside! 只有外在活着
[1:03:19] – This is not going to end well for me, is it? – This is not gonna end well for you, no. – 我不会有善终的 是吗?- 你不会有善终 是的
[1:03:22] Where’s your boss? 你老板在哪?
[1:03:24] I can tell you exactly… 我能确切地告诉你…
[1:03:27] Oh, you’ll tell me. But first… 你要告诉我 不过首先…
[1:03:29] You might wanna look away for this. 你们不会想看这个画面的
[1:03:32] Now this little piggy went to… 现在这几只小猪仔要…
[1:03:35] Thank you, Agent Smith. 多谢了 史密斯特工
[1:03:41] Taxi! 出租车
[1:03:44] Hop in! Great day for a ride. 上车吧 今天是个坐车的好日子
[1:03:48] And we all know how this turned out. 之后是怎么回事我们都清楚了
[1:03:52] Whoops! You weren’t meant to see that. 呀 不该给你们看到这个
[1:04:02] There. All caught up. 到这 都接上了
[1:04:12] We’re here. 到了
[1:04:15] Sorry about bleeding in all your garbage. 抱歉把血都流到你的垃圾里了
[1:04:24] Seltzer water and lemon for blood. 可以用苏打水和柠檬去血渍
[1:04:28] Some kinds of anger can’t be managed… 有些怒火是控制不了的
[1:04:31] like the kind where your year-long plan 比如说 你花了那么久找一个人
[1:04:33] ends with the wrong guy getting dismembered! 结果自己的手却被割断了
[1:04:37] That said, when it comes time to licking wounds, 不过 要疗伤的话
[1:04:40] there’s no place like home. 家里才是不二之选
[1:04:42] Ah, and I share that home with someone you’ve met, 我的室友你们也见过
[1:04:44] the old blind lady from the laundromat, Al. 就是干洗店那位看不见的老太太 阿尔
[1:04:47] God, I miss cocaine. 老天呐 我真想抽可卡因
[1:04:49] Her. 就是她
[1:04:50] Fourth-wall break inside a fourth-wall break. 角色表演里跳出角色表演
[1:04:54] That’s like 16 walls. 那可是天下无敌啊
[1:04:57] She’s like Robin to my Batman, 我是蝙蝠侠的话 她就是罗宾
[1:04:58] except she’s old, and black, and blind. 除了她又老又黑又瞎
[1:05:02] And I think she’s in love with me. 我觉得她爱上我了
[1:05:04] Wait, pretty sure Robin loves Batman, too. 等等 罗宾肯定也爱蝙蝠侠
[1:05:18] Al? 阿尔?
[1:05:21] Morning, sleepyhead. 早上好 老懒虫
[1:05:24] It smells like old lady pants in here. 这里闻着就像是老太太的裤子
[1:05:26] Yes, I’m old. I wear pants. 是啊 我是老了 我也穿着裤子
[1:05:28] But you’re no lady. 但你不是淑女
[1:05:30] Oh! So comfy. 真舒服
[1:05:33] Upside of being blind: I’ve never seen you in Crocs. 瞎了眼的一个好处 我从没见过你穿洞洞鞋的样子
[1:05:37] You mean my big, rubber masturbating shoes? 你指的是我那双 撸的时候专门穿的大橡胶鞋?
[1:05:38] Yes, I know. 是 我知道
[1:05:40] Downside of being blind… 瞎了的坏处
[1:05:42] I hear everything in this duplex. 在这间小破屋里我什么都能听清
[1:05:47] Sit on a stick. 行了闭嘴吧
[1:05:48] Bactin? 抗生软膏?
[1:05:49] Yeah. Bactin should do it. 行 抗生软膏就可以
[1:05:54] How’s that Kullen coming along? 那个库伦柜是怎么来的?
[1:05:56] IKEA doesn’t assemble itself, you know. 宜家可不会自己组装好送来
[1:05:58] You’re telling me. I don’t mind the Kullen. 可不是嘛 我倒是不讨厌库伦柜
[1:06:01] It’s an improvement on the Hurdal. 那是对赫达尔柜的改进
[1:06:04] Please. Anything’s an improvement over the Hurdal. 得了吧 什么都是对赫达尔柜的改进
[1:06:06] I’d have taken an Hemnes or a Trysil over the Hurdal. 我还说汉尼斯和特利希尔 都是对赫达尔的改进呢
[1:06:11] Oh, no, I didn’t get excited till I saw the Kullen. 不 我看到库伦柜时才兴奋起来
[1:06:13] Screw, please. 把螺丝钉递给我 谢谢
[1:06:15] Here? Now? Just kidding. 在这?现在?开玩笑吧
[1:06:16] I know it’s been decades. 我知道你这几十年都没有过性生活
[1:06:17] You’d be surprised. 可不是你以为的那样
[1:06:19] Pretty grossed out. 真恶心呢
[1:06:22] Ta… Da. 当… 当
[1:06:30] I wish I never heard of Craigslist. 真希望我从没听说过克雷格分类广告网
[1:06:34] And I quote, “Looking for roommate, 我在上面的介绍是这样的 “找室友
[1:06:35] “blind to life’s imperfections. 盲人最好 免得受惊”
[1:06:37] “Must be good with hands.” “手要灵巧”
[1:06:38] Or would you rather I build the IKEA, and you pay rent? 不然你更愿意 我来组装宜家的家具 你来付房租?
[1:06:40] Why such a douche this morning? 你今天早上怎么这么贱?
[1:06:43] Let’s recap. 我来总结一下
[1:06:44] The cock thistle that turned me into this freak… 把我变成这幅摸样的那个龟儿子
[1:06:46] slipped through my arms today… 今天从我的手中溜了
[1:06:50] Arm. 我的手
[1:06:51] Catching him was my only chance 只有抓到他 我才有希望
[1:06:52] to be hot again, get my super sexy ex back… 重新变帅 追回我超级性感的前女友
[1:06:54] and prevent this shit from happening to someone else. 避免其他人再遭遇同样的破事
[1:06:57] So, yeah, today was about as much fun 对啊 今天就跟
[1:06:59] as a sandpaper dildo. 用个砂纸做的自慰器自慰一样有趣
[1:07:02] # driveby. 擦身而过放个屁
[1:07:21] Found out who our friend in the red suit is. 我知道穿红衣服的那位朋友是谁了
[1:07:26] Fucking Wade Wilson. 该死的韦德威尔逊
[1:07:29] I suppose I’d wear a mask too if I had a face like that. 我要是脸变成那样 我也会戴面具
[1:07:32] I only wish I healed the same. 不过我只希望我有和他一样的愈合能力
[1:07:37] Still, we’ll put him out of our misery. 不过 我们还是得除了这个灾星
[1:07:40] On our terms. 用我们的方式
[1:07:42] Right. And when he heals? 好啊 然后等他愈合?
[1:07:44] He can’t. 他不行
[1:07:46] Not if there’s nothing left of him to heal. 只要他没什么可愈合的
[1:07:48] You know, it’s funny. I almost miss the fucker. 你知道吗 还真有意思 我差点想念这混蛋了
[1:07:54] I like a challenge. 我喜欢挑战
[1:07:56] But he’s bad for business. 但他不利于我们的工作
[1:07:59] Now let’s go find him. 我们去找他吧
[1:08:05] Tylenol PM? 扑热息痛?
[1:08:06] You can stick that where you stuck the Bactin. 不要抗生软膏也不要这个
[1:08:09] I raided my stash of wisdom tooth Percocet… 我抓了智齿止痛药
[1:08:12] and I am orbiting fucking Saturn right now. 吃了药现在又犯困
[1:08:18] But I appreciate the gesture. 不过还是谢谢你给我药
[1:08:21] Am I crazy, or is your hand really small? 我是疯了 还是你的手真的就这么小?
[1:08:26] About the size of a KFC spork. 和肯德基的餐叉差不多大小
[1:08:30] I get why you’re so pissy… 我知道你为什么这么暴躁了
[1:08:32] but your mood’s never gonna brighten 不过除非你找到这个女人
[1:08:34] till you find this woman… 并告诉她你的感受
[1:08:35] and tell her how you feel. 你的心情才可能好起来
[1:08:37] What do I keep telling you, Mrs. Magoo? 要我说多少次 脱线太太?
[1:08:38] She wouldn’t have me. 她不可能跟我复合的
[1:08:40] If you could see me, you’d understand. 你要是能看见我 你就明白了
[1:08:42] Looks aren’t everything. 外表不是一切
[1:08:43] Looks are everything. 外表就是一切
[1:08:44] You ever heard David Beckham speak? 听过大卫贝克汉姆的声音吗?
[1:08:46] It’s like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. 就像他吞了一罐氮气似的
[1:08:49] You think Ryan Reynolds got this far 你以为瑞安雷诺兹
[1:08:50] on his superior acting method? 是靠演技才走到今天的?
[1:08:52] Love is blind, Wade. 爱情是盲目的 韦德
[1:08:53] No. 不是
[1:08:55] You’re blind. 你是盲人
[1:08:57] So, you’re just gonna lie there and whimper? 那你就准备躺在这呜咽个不停?
[1:09:00] No, I’m gonna wait till this arm plows through puberty… 不 我要等这只手长过了青春期
[1:09:02] and then I’m gonna come up with a whole new Christmas Day plan. 然后就要想出个全新的圣诞节计划
[1:09:05] In the meantime, 与此同时
[1:09:07] you might wanna leave the room. 你可能想离开这间房
[1:09:09] I bet it feels huge in this hand. 我打赌用这只手打枪的话 肯定感觉我的老二特别大
[1:09:12] Go, go! 快走快走
[1:09:16] So, the doctor says, “The bad news is 所以医生说 “坏消息是
[1:09:17] “you don’t have that long to live.” 你活不了那么久了”
[1:09:19] So, the patient says, “How long do I have?” 病人就问 “我还能活多久?”
[1:09:20] The doctor says, “Five.” 医生说 “五”
[1:09:22] The guy says, “Five what?” 那人问 “五什么?”
[1:09:24] And the doctor says, “Four, three, two…” 医生说 “四 三 二… “
[1:09:35] Can I help you ladies? 女士们 需要什么吗?
[1:09:39] Oh, I do hope so. 希望你能提供些什么
[1:09:44] I heard you might be able to point me 我听说你或许能帮我指出
[1:09:46] in the direction of a, um, friend of mine. 我的一个朋友在哪个方向
[1:09:49] Name of Wade Wilson. 他叫韦德威尔逊
[1:09:52] Sorry. 不好意思
[1:09:53] I don’t know the name. 我没听说过这名字
[1:10:02] Hey, you’re not supposed to be behind the bar. 嘿 你不能到吧台后面来
[1:10:08] I’ve seen this girl. 我见过这女孩
[1:10:10] Ah, this must be Vanessa. 这一定就是瓦妮莎
[1:10:11] I’ve heard so much about you. 我听说过你好多次呢
[1:10:17] Um, sweetheart, you might wanna look around. 亲爱的 你或许想看看四周
[1:10:19] This isn’t really the place to do something like that. 这里真不是做这种事的地方
[1:10:23] Easy, Angel. 别冲动 安琪尔
[1:10:25] Put the little man down. 把这位小兄弟放下来
[1:10:28] We have everything we need now. 我们需要的已经拿到手了
[1:10:30] You sure? 你确定?
[1:10:32] You don’t want any clothes that are not monochromatic? 你难道不想要一件 颜色不那么单一的衣服吗?
[1:10:35] Have fun at your midnight showing of Blade II. 祝你们在《刀锋战士2》午夜场玩得开心
[1:10:42] Thanks for having my back, guys. 谢谢你们帮我 兄弟们
[1:10:48] Wade, we have a fucking problem. 韦德 我们有大麻烦了
[1:10:51] And by “we,” I mean “you.” “我们”其实是指”你”
[1:10:53] Ah, I can’t believe I’m doing this. 我不相信我在这么做
[1:10:56] Is there a word for half afraid, half angry? 有没有一个词可以形容 一半害怕一半生气?
[1:10:59] Yeah, “afrangry”, I guess. 有 “害生” 我猜的
[1:11:01] Have you decided what you’re gonna say to her? 你想好要怎么和她说了吗?
[1:11:03] Fuck me! 妈的
[1:11:04] Uh, maybe not start with that. 最好不用一开始就说这个
[1:11:12] Hey, coming onto our stage right now… 嘿 现在上台的是
[1:11:15] give it up for Chastity! 让我们欢迎 “贞操小姐”
[1:11:21] Or as I like to call her, Irony. 我比较喜欢喊她 “讽刺小姐”
[1:11:23] Better find her fast before numbnuts does. 最好在那帮傻蛋之前赶紧找到她
[1:11:26] How do you know she’s in here? 你怎么知道她在这里?
[1:11:27] Because I’m constantly stalking that fox. 因为我经常跟踪那位辣妹
[1:11:55] Every time I see her, it’s like the first time… 我每次见到她 感觉都像是第一次见她
[1:12:00] Especially from this angle. 尤其是从这个角度
[1:12:25] You can’t buy love, 爱情是买不来的
[1:12:27] but you can rent it for three minutes. 但可以租个三分钟
[1:12:32] Ah, you weak motherfucker! 你个懦夫
[1:12:36] Come on! 加油
[1:12:38] Come on, get it together. 加油 振作起来
[1:12:39] This isn’t about me, this is about Vanessa. 不是为了我自己 是为了瓦妮莎
[1:12:45] Here we go. 上吧
[1:12:49] Maximum effort. 全力前进
[1:12:54] Vanessa. 瓦妮莎
[1:12:58] Someone out back asking for you. 后面有人找你
[1:13:00] Something about, uh, an old boyfriend. 说跟你前男友有关
[1:13:30] I knew it was you. 我知道是你
[1:13:33] The weird, curvy edges. 这个特别的线条
[1:13:36] Like a jigsaw puzzle. 像块拼图
[1:13:48] You have Wade Wilson to thank for this. 这还真得谢谢韦德威尔逊
[1:13:59] Hey. Hey! Where’d she go? 嘿 嘿 她去哪了?
[1:14:01] Uh, I saw her head to the back. 我看到她去后面了
[1:14:03] Go get her, tiger. 去找她吧 勇士
[1:14:27] Fuck. Fuck! 他妈的
[1:14:32] Motherfucker! 去他妈的
[1:14:34] – Wait, wait. Let’s… Just… – Cock juggling… – 等等 等等 我们先… – 去你…
[1:14:36] – We can talk about what we’re gonna… – Jiminy! Fuck face! – 我们可以先讨论一下… – 我去 你个球
[1:14:38] Okay, or you can hit that. 好嘞 你也可以打那个
[1:14:39] – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – Fuck! Fuck! – 对 对 对 – 妈的 妈的
[1:14:41] – No, no. All right. Hey! – Fuck! Fuck! – 行了 行了 嘿 – 妈的 妈的
[1:14:44] – Fuck! – Hey, um… – 妈的 – 嘿…
[1:14:46] Whoa! Whoa! Relax. Relax. Okay. 淡定 淡定 好了
[1:14:49] Okay. I think that’s a good start. 好了 我想这是个好的开始
[1:14:50] Oh, I’m gonna rip his motherfucking… 我要把那个混蛋撕碎…
[1:14:52] Wait. 等等
[1:14:53] – Find it! Find it. – What? – 找到它 找到它 – 什么?
[1:14:55] – I’m gonna get angry. – Okay. All right. – 我要发脾气了 – 好 好的
[1:14:57] All right. Okay. All right. 好的 行 好的
[1:14:58] Here. This is Vanessa. 在这 是瓦妮莎
[1:15:00] – What? – No, wait. It’s Francis. – 什么?- 不 等下 是弗朗西斯
[1:15:02] He wants you to come to him. 他要你去找他
[1:15:05] – What is that? – That’s the shit emoji. – 那是什么?- 是个屎的表情
[1:15:06] You know, it’s the turd with the smiling face and the eyes? 就是带着笑脸和眼睛的一坨屎
[1:15:08] I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long. 我有好长时间都以为这是巧克力酸奶
[1:15:12] I need guns. 我要枪
[1:15:13] Okay, which ones? 好的 哪一只枪?
[1:15:14] I need all the guns! 我要所有枪
[1:15:15] All right. Okay. 好的 好
[1:15:37] That’s about 3,000 rounds. 大概有3000颗子弹
[1:15:39] We all know what I can do with 12. 我们都知道12颗就能解决问题
[1:15:42] Hey, hey, careful with that, Ronnie Milsap! 嘿 嘿 当心点那个 罗尼米尔萨普
[1:15:44] We’re downrange. 对着我们呢
[1:15:47] I was gonna spend the night 我今晚本来在
[1:15:48] assembling the Borje, but this is holding my interest. 组装博尔基椅子 不过这个倒是引起了我的兴趣
[1:15:51] I told you, we’re going with the Urvaj, not the Borje. 我跟你说过 我们要尤瓦吉椅 不是博尔基椅
[1:15:54] Get it through your head or get out of fuck town. 你给我记住了 不然就滚
[1:15:56] Shit. That’s all the pieces in the house. 该死 房子里所有的枪都在这了
[1:15:59] Nah, nah… Come on. Let’s go. Cough it up. 不 来 过来 拿出来
[1:16:01] Up, up, up. 拉起来 拉起来
[1:16:04] Oh. Down, down, down. 放下去 放下去
[1:16:05] Fuck you. 去你的
[1:16:08] .45 cal. I like it. 0.45的口径 我喜欢
[1:16:13] Wade… 韦德…
[1:16:16] I’d go with you, but I don’t want to. 我应该和你一起去 不过我不想去
[1:16:23] Listen, Al… 听着 阿尔
[1:16:25] if I never see you again, 如果我再也见不到你
[1:16:28] I want you to know that I love you very much. 我希望你知道 我非常爱你
[1:16:31] And also, uh, there’s about 116 kilos of cocaine 还有 公寓里藏着
[1:16:35] buried somewhere in the apartment… 116公斤的可卡因
[1:16:36] right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck. 就在治失明的药旁边 祝你好运
[1:16:45] You wanna get fucked up? 你想嗨一把吗?
[1:16:56] Put her down over here. 把她放在那
[1:17:08] Go on then. 撕掉
[1:17:11] Thanks, dickless. And I mean you. 谢了 没种的 我指你
[1:17:14] Wow. You’re a talker too. You and Wade. 哇 你话也很多嘛 你和韦德都这样
[1:17:18] I’ve been trying to tell you assholes, 我一直想告诉你们这帮混蛋
[1:17:20] you’ve got the wrong girl. 你们抓错人了
[1:17:21] My old boyfriend, he’s dead. 我的前男友已经死了
[1:17:23] See, I thought that too. But he keeps on coming back. 是吗 我也这么认为 但他总是回来
[1:17:26] Like a cockroach… 跟只蟑螂似的
[1:17:28] but uglier. 不过比蟑螂更丑
[1:17:30] Now, I may not feel, but he does. 我虽然感觉不到 但他能感受到
[1:17:35] Let’s see how he fights with your head on the block. 我们来看看 你命悬一线的时候 他会怎么做
[1:17:46] Ripley, from Alien 3! 《异形3》里的蕾普利
[1:17:48] Fuck, you’re old. 滚你的 你够老了
[1:17:51] Fake laugh. Hiding real pain. 这是假笑 掩饰着我的痛苦
[1:17:53] Go get Silver Balls. 去找那个银色大傻蛋去
[1:17:55] You guys going for a bite? Early bird special? 你俩要去觅食吗?早起的鸟儿有虫吃?
[1:17:57] Oh, like there’s something wrong 日落前吃晚饭或者存钱
[1:17:59] with eating before sundown or saving money. 好像还有什么不对一样
[1:18:00] No, you know that bad guy that you let go? 不扯这个 知道你们放走的那个坏人吗?
[1:18:04] He’s got my girl. 他手上有我的妹子
[1:18:06] You’re gonna help me get her back. 你们要帮我把她救回来
[1:18:08] Wade, is that you? 韦德 是你吗?
[1:18:10] Yeah, it’s me, Deadpool, 对 是我 死侍
[1:18:11] and I got an offer that you can’t refuse. 我这有个你不能拒绝的请求
[1:18:17] I’m gonna wait out here, okay? 我就在外面等着 行吗?
[1:18:18] It’s a big house. 这房子真大啊
[1:18:19] It’s funny that I only ever see two of you. 奇怪我只看见你俩住这
[1:18:20] It’s almost like the studio couldn’t afford another X-Man. 就好像这电影制作公司 没钱再打造一个X战警
[1:18:27] And that is why, in my opinion… 所以 在我看来
[1:18:29] the movie Cocoon is pure pornography. 《天茧》这部电影完全就是黄片
[1:18:32] Who brought this twinkly man? 这个闪闪发光的人是谁带来的?
[1:18:34] Twinkly, but deadly. 闪闪发光 但也致命得很
[1:18:36] My chrome-penised friend back there 后面这位长着合金蛋蛋的朋友
[1:18:39] has agreed to do me this solid. 答应了要帮我个忙
[1:18:41] In exchange, I said that I would 作为条件 我答应他
[1:18:43] consider joining his boy band. 会考虑加入他的男子乐队
[1:18:45] It’s not boy band. 不是男子乐队
[1:18:46] Sure it’s not. 当然不是
[1:18:48] So, any luck winning Gita back? 那 有希望把吉塔赢回来吗?
[1:18:51] I tried to hold on tight, Mr. Pool… 我试着紧握住 侍先生
[1:18:54] but Bandhu is more craftier and handsomer than me. 但是班都比我要狡猾得多 也帅得多
[1:18:58] Well, I think you’re pretty darn cute. 嗯 我觉得你就可爱得很
[1:19:06] – Dopinder. – Hmm? – 多芬德?- 嗯?
[1:19:09] What was that? 什么在叫?
[1:19:12] That was Bandhu in the trunk. 班都在后备箱里
[1:19:18] Ban who? 班什么?
[1:19:19] My romantic rival Bandhu. He’s tied up in the trunk. 我的情敌班都 他被绑在后备箱里
[1:19:22] I’m doing as you said, DP. 我是照你说的做的 死侍
[1:19:24] I plan to gut him like a tandoori fish, 我准备像做烧烤鱼一样把他的内脏都剔了
[1:19:26] then dump his carcass on Gita’s doorstep. 然后把他的尸体放到吉塔家的台阶上
[1:19:29] I did not tell him to do that. 我没叫他这么做
[1:19:31] Absolutely not. It got lost in translation. 绝对没有 你理解错了
[1:19:33] Dopinder, this is no way to win Gita’s heart back! 多芬德 你不可能赢回吉塔的心了
[1:19:37] I’m so proud of you. 我真为你骄傲
[1:19:38] Drop Bandhu off, safe and gentle-like. 小心 安全地把班都放下来
[1:19:40] Kill him. 杀了他
[1:19:41] And then, win Gita back… 然后再赢回吉塔
[1:19:43] the old fashioned way: with your boyish charm. 用最土的办法啊 利用你作为男人的吸引力
[1:19:46] Kidnap her. 绑了她
[1:19:49] He’s super dead. 他死定了
[1:19:56] I presume a crisp high five? 我才要来个爽快的击掌吧?
[1:19:57] For you? 10. 对你?要来俩
[1:20:00] Okay, guys, let’s get out there and make a difference. 好嘞 两位 我们出去干大事吧
[1:20:03] You know what to do. 你知道该怎么做
[1:20:06] Knock ’em dead, Pool Boy! 把他们全放倒 侍兄
[1:20:10] Time to make the chimi-fuckin’-changas. 是时候好好揍一顿人了
[1:20:13] Not often a dude ruins your face… 一个让你毁容的人
[1:20:15] skull-stomps your sanity, grabs your future baby mama… 同时还摧毁了你的理智 掳走了你未来宝宝的妈妈
[1:20:18] and personally sees to four of your five shittiest moments. 他参与了你人生最糟糕五瞬间中的四个 这可真是罕见
[1:20:22] Let’s just say it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. 这么说吧 我有种圣诞节要来了的感觉
[1:20:39] Hey. 嘿
[1:20:41] Where’s your duffle bag? 你的弹药包呢?
[1:21:01] Bandhu? 班都?
[1:21:04] Leave a message and have a happy day. 请留言 祝你今天愉快
[1:21:06] God damn it! 我去
[1:21:07] I’m gonna do this the old fashioned way… 要用老套的办法来解决了
[1:21:09] with two swords and maximum effort. 用两把剑 和我的全力
[1:21:13] Cue the music. 音乐开始
[1:21:31] Wade Wilson! 韦德威尔逊
[1:21:34] What’s my name? 我叫什么?
[1:21:35] Oh, I’mma fuckin’ spell it out for ya. 我给你拼出来
[1:21:40] Go get some. 开打吧
[1:21:41] Superhero landing. 超级英雄式降落
[1:21:42] She’s gonna do a superhero landing. 她要来个超级英雄式降落
[1:21:43] Wait for it. 等着看吧
[1:21:49] Superhero landing! 超级英雄式降落
[1:21:50] You know, that’s really hard on your knees. 你的膝盖真的要承受好大压力啊
[1:21:52] Totally impractical. They all do it. 一点都不实用 他们都能这么做
[1:21:54] You’re a lovely lady, but I’m saving myself for Francis. 你是个挺可爱的女人 不过我要把自己留给弗朗西斯
[1:21:57] That’s why I brought him. 所以我才带他来
[1:21:58] I prefer not to hit a woman, so please… 我不想打女人 所以请你…
[1:22:09] I mean, that’s why I brought her? 我是说 所以我才带她来?
[1:22:13] Oh, no, finish your tweet. It’s not… That’s… 噢 不 快发完你的推特 这不是… 那是…
[1:22:16] Just give us a second. Yeah. 等我们一会儿啊
[1:22:17] There you go. Hashtag it. 对 加个话题
[1:22:20] Go get her, tiger. 搞定她 小老虎
[1:22:28] Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex. 真为那个要强上了她的兄弟感到惋惜
[1:22:33] All right, then. Fire! 好啊 开火
[1:22:46] Finish fucking her the fuck up! 赶紧了结了那个婊子
[1:22:48] Language, please. 请注意用语
[1:22:49] Suck a cock. 快上
[1:23:16] Look away, child. 别看我 孩子
[1:23:19] Look away! 别看我
[1:23:27] Wait! 等等
[1:23:29] Wait! 等等
[1:23:30] Cease fire! 停火
[1:23:31] Cease fire! 停火
[1:23:32] Fellas! Hey! Hey! 小伙伴们 嘿 嘿
[1:23:35] You only work for that shit-spackled muppet fart. 你们只为那个屁都不如的混球干活儿
[1:23:39] So, I’mma give you a chance 所以 我给你们一个机会
[1:23:41] for y’all to lay down your firearms… 让你们放下武器
[1:23:43] in exchange for preferential, bordering on gentle… 我会用近乎温柔的方式优待你们
[1:23:46] possibly even lover-like treatment. 说不定甚至还会带着爱意
[1:23:51] Fine. 好啊
[1:23:53] Commando! 突击
[1:25:06] Teabag! 吃我的蛋
[1:25:11] Bob? 鲍勃?
[1:25:13] Wade? 韦德?
[1:25:14] Oh, my God, I haven’t seen you since… 噢 我的天 我好久没见过你了 自从…
[1:25:16] – Jacksonville. Fridays. – Since TGI Fridays. – 杰克逊维尔 星期五餐厅 – 星期五餐厅之后
[1:25:19] Well, what the hell! 我勒个去
[1:25:21] God, come here, you. 天呐 来吧 你
[1:25:25] How are the kids? Good? 孩子怎么样?还好吗?
[1:25:27] And Gail, she still fixing that tuna casserole? 盖尔是不是还爱吃金枪鱼砂锅?
[1:25:29] So good. But bad for the waistline, 真不错 不过腰围会有麻烦
[1:25:31] if you know what I’m talking about. 你知道我在说什么吧
[1:25:39] Your… On the left. You are beautiful woman. 你的… 左边 你还是挺漂亮的
[1:25:42] That is so sweet. 真贴心
[1:25:45] Thanks. 谢谢
[1:25:58] Does he write you notes too? 他也会给你写便条吗?
[1:26:00] He’s such a romantic. 他可真浪漫
[1:26:02] Don’t worry, baby. I’m comin’. 别担心 宝贝 我来了
[1:26:05] Fire! 开火
[1:26:13] Hey! 嘿
[1:26:15] Climb on! 爬上去
[1:26:53] Motherfucking… 妈的…
[1:27:06] Motherfucker should have worn his brown pants. 那个畜生应该穿他那条红棕色的裤子
[1:27:11] You were right, beautiful. 你说得对 美女
[1:27:13] Red really is my color. 我穿红色很合适
[1:27:16] Wade? 韦德?
[1:27:17] Don’t worry, baby… 别担心 宝贝
[1:27:18] I’mma get you out of that shit-box. 我要把你从这个鬼盒子里救出来
[1:27:21] What better way to crawl back inside that head of yours? 还有什么更好的办法 能把你逼疯?
[1:27:23] Oh, you never left. 噢 你从来没逼疯过我
[1:27:25] But you did, asshole! 但我被你逼疯了 混蛋
[1:27:27] Ah, deep breath, darling. 深呼吸 亲爱的
[1:27:30] Oh, wait. 噢 等等
[1:27:32] Wrong choice of words. 说错了话
[1:27:36] I hope they blocked pain to your every last nerve. 我希望你的痛感神经已经全死光了
[1:27:39] ‘Cause I’mma go lookin’! 因为我要好好检查检查
[1:27:42] I hear you grow back body parts now, Wade. 听说你的身体部分能自己长回来 韦德
[1:27:44] When I’m finished… 等我了结了你
[1:27:45] parts will have to grow back you. 你得被拼起来才能恢复了
[1:27:47] Good one. 说得好
[1:27:49] Yep, that was a good one. 是啊 说得确实不错
[1:27:51] Let’s dance. 开跳吧
[1:27:53] And by dance, I mean… 跳的意思是
[1:27:55] let’s try to kill each other. 开杀吧
[1:28:50] Fine. Fists. 行啊 用拳头
[1:28:53] Oh, sounds like your last Saturday night. 上周六被人用拳头爆菊了吧
[1:30:17] Asshole! 混蛋
[1:31:15] Hang in there, baby! 坚持住 宝贝
[1:31:17] – Wade! – I gotcha! – 韦德 – 抓住你了
[1:31:22] I got a plan. You’re not gonna like it. 我有个办法 你是不会喜欢的
[1:31:35] Shit! Shit! Shit! 该死 该死 该死
[1:31:42] Don’t worry. I’m totally on top of this. 别担心 我完全能处理好
[1:31:59] Ah! Damn it! 该死
[1:32:02] Maximum effort! 全力出击
[1:32:47] Thanks. 谢谢
[1:32:53] Just take it slow. 慢慢出来
[1:33:05] Oh, my God! That was so… 噢 我的天 真是…
[1:33:39] There are no words! 无法用语言形容
[1:33:42] Me and you are headed to fix this butterface. 我跟你去把我这张脸整好
[1:33:46] What? 什么?
[1:33:50] You stupid fucking idiot. 你个蠢到家的
[1:33:53] Did you really think there was a cure… for that? 你还真以为有办法能治好… 那个?
[1:33:59] What? 什么?
[1:34:01] You heard me. 你听明白了
[1:34:04] No. 不
[1:34:05] No! 不
[1:34:13] So, you mean to say… 所以 你是说…
[1:34:17] after all this, you can’t fix me? 折腾这么一顿 结果你治不好我?
[1:34:22] It sounds even stupider when you say it. 你说出来显得更蠢了
[1:34:24] Like the kind of stupid who admits 我留你这条小命 只是为了治好我的脸
[1:34:26] he can’t do the one thing I’m keeping him alive for? 结果这个理由也没了 我有你蠢?
[1:34:33] Any last words? 有什么遗言?
[1:34:37] What’s my name? 我叫什么?
[1:34:39] Who fucking cares? 谁在乎这个?
[1:34:40] Wade! 韦德
[1:34:43] Four or five moments. 四五个瞬间
[1:34:45] I’m sorry? 什么意思?
[1:34:47] Four or five moments, that’s all it takes. 只需要四五个瞬间
[1:34:50] To? 怎样?
[1:34:52] Be a hero. 成为一名英雄
[1:34:55] Everyone thinks it’s a full-time job. 人人都以为英雄是项全职工作
[1:34:58] Wake up a hero, brush your teeth a hero, 醒来就是英雄 刷牙时也是英雄
[1:35:00] go to work a hero. 上班时还是英雄
[1:35:02] Not true. 并非如此
[1:35:04] Over a lifetime, there are only four or five moments 一生中只有四五个瞬间
[1:35:07] that really matter. 是真正重要的
[1:35:10] Moments when you’re offered a choice. 就是你做选择的瞬间
[1:35:12] To make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, 做出牺牲 战胜缺点
[1:35:15] save a friend… 拯救朋友
[1:35:17] spare an enemy. 放过对手
[1:35:20] In these moments… 在这些瞬间
[1:35:22] everything else falls away. 其余一切都不重要了
[1:35:26] The way the world sees us. 世人如何看待我们
[1:35:29] The way we… 我们…
[1:35:34] Why? 为什么开枪?
[1:35:36] You were droning on. 你太啰嗦了
[1:35:38] Sure, I may be stuck looking like pepperoni flatbread… 当然 我可能会一直 顶着这张发糕一样的脸
[1:35:42] but at least fuckface won’t heal from that. 但起码这混蛋是活不过来了
[1:35:45] If wearing superhero tights… 如果作为超级英雄
[1:35:48] means sparing psychopaths… 就等于放过危险的疯子
[1:35:49] then maybe I wasn’t meant to wear ’em. 那或许我并不应该成为超级英雄
[1:35:51] Not everyone monitors a hall like you. 又不是每个人都跟你一样 高尚得跟个圣父似的
[1:35:54] Just promise… 你保证…
[1:35:55] Yeah, yeah, I’ll be on the lookout 行 行 接下来四个瞬间
[1:35:57] for the next four moments. 我会注意的
[1:35:59] Oh, shit. 噢 该死
[1:36:01] Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m just a boy, 不好意思 我是个男孩
[1:36:04] about to stand in front of a girl… 我要站在一个女孩面前
[1:36:07] and tell her… 告诉她…
[1:36:08] What the fuck am I gonna tell her? 我他妈要告诉她什么?
[1:36:10] Well, hmm, you better figure it out. 嗯 你最好自己想清楚
[1:36:15] I can’t even tell you… 我甚至没办法告诉你…
[1:36:16] I deserved that. That, too. 我该 还是该
[1:36:18] No, no, no, maybe not the nethers. 不不不 裆还是算了吧
[1:36:20] Start talking! 你说啊
[1:36:24] I’m sorry. 对不起
[1:36:25] I’m so sorry. 真的对不起
[1:36:28] For everything, I’m sorry for leaving… 什么都对不起 对不起我离开了
[1:36:32] I’m sorry for not cowboying up sooner. 对不起我没有早点出来解决
[1:36:34] It’s been rough couple of years. 这几年很艰难
[1:36:36] Rough? 艰难?
[1:36:45] I live in a crackhouse. 我住在贩毒的房子里
[1:36:48] With a family of 12. 和一家12口人同住
[1:36:51] Every night we spoon for warmth. 每晚我们都要挤着取暖
[1:36:52] Everybody fights for Noelle. She’s the fattest. 大家都争着要靠着诺埃尔 她是最胖的
[1:36:55] There’s nothing that we don’t share. 我们什么都是共享的
[1:36:57] Floor space, dental floss, even condoms. 空间 牙线 甚至安全套
[1:37:09] So, you live in a house. 所以你还能住在房子里
[1:37:20] I should have come and found you sooner. 我应该早点来找你的
[1:37:25] But, baby, the guy under this mask, 但是 宝贝 面具下的这个人
[1:37:26] he ain’t the same one that you remember. 已经不是你记忆中的样子了
[1:37:33] You mean this mask? 你是说这副面具?
[1:37:54] And this one. 还有这副
[1:37:58] In case the other fell off. 防止那副掉了
[1:38:02] All right. Yeah, just… Ow. 好吧 就…
[1:38:05] Like a Band-Aid, just give it a… 和急救绷带差不多 就…
[1:38:06] Owdie 5,000. 痛死我了
[1:38:09] Wait, wait, wait… 等等 等等
[1:38:12] Are you sure? 你确定吗?
[1:38:15] I’m sure. 我确定
[1:38:26] Wow. 哇
[1:38:28] Yeah. 是的
[1:38:36] Hey. 嘿
[1:38:40] After a brief adjustment period… 经过短暂的适应期
[1:38:42] and a bunch of drinks… 再喝一大堆酒
[1:38:46] it’s a face… 这张脸…
[1:38:52] I’d be happy to sit on. 我很愿意坐上去
[1:39:01] I’m not the same underneath this suit, either. 这套战服下的我 也不是以前的那个我了
[1:39:05] No. 不是了
[1:39:06] Super-penis. 老二超级大
[1:39:08] Come on, Wade. Language. 拜托 韦德 注意用语
[1:39:10] Young one is present. 这有小孩子呢
[1:39:13] What are you still doing? 你们还在这干嘛?
[1:39:15] Get out of here. Go make yourself useful! 一边去 去找点事做
[1:39:18] You, go be a really big brother to someone. 你 用你这大块头去帮帮谁啊
[1:39:20] Tell Beast to stop shitting on my lawn. 让野兽别在我的草坪上拉屎了
[1:39:22] And you, chicken noodle… 还有你 小鸡仔
[1:39:24] Nothing compares to you. 无人可以取代你
[1:39:26] Sinéad O’Connor, 1990. Sorry. 西尼德奥康娜1990年唱的歌 不好意思
[1:39:28] That’s all right. You’re cool. 没关系 你很酷
[1:39:33] What in the ass? 说啥玩意儿?
[1:39:35] That was not mean. I’m proud of you! 不是在骂我啊 我真为你骄傲
[1:39:38] We will make an X-Man of you yet, Wade. 我们会把你打造成一个X战警的 韦德
[1:39:41] For a second there, 有那么一会儿
[1:39:43] it felt like we were three mini-lion robots… 我觉得我们就像三个迷你机器狮
[1:39:44] coming together to form one super robot. 在一起组合成了一个超级机器人
[1:39:47] There’s a stupid. 好蠢的话
[1:39:49] Yeah. 是啊
[1:39:53] And now, for the moment I’ve all been waiting for. 现在 我一直在等这一刻
[1:40:01] Come here. 过来
[1:40:12] Wham! As promised. 威猛乐队 我们说好的
[1:40:28] See? 看到没?
[1:40:30] You don’t need to be a superhero to get the girl. 并不需要成为超级英雄才追到妹子
[1:40:33] The right girl will bring out the hero in you. 对的人会让你变成超级英雄
[1:40:37] Now, let’s finish this epic wide shot. Pull out. 现在 结局我们要拉个广角镜头 镜头往后拉出
[1:40:40] There we go, that looks nice. 对 继续 不错
[1:40:42] That’s gonna be about the only thing that’s pulling out tonight. 这会是今晚唯一一个会 “拉出” 的东西
[1:40:44] Who doesn’t love a happy ending, huh? 圆满结局 谁不喜欢呢?
[1:40:48] ‘Til next time, this is 下次见
[1:40:49] your friendly neighborhood pool guy singin’… 现在由这位可怜又友好的邻居 为大家演唱
[1:40:51] ∮ I’m never gonna dance again ∮ 我终将不再跳舞
[1:40:54] ∮ The way I danced with you ∮ 无法像你我从前那样跳舞
[1:41:03] ∮ The way without you ∮ 不能与你重温舞步
[1:41:10] ∮ Tonight the music seems so loud ∮ 今晚的音乐看似过于喧嚣
[1:41:13] ∮ I wish that we could lose this crowd ∮ 但愿我们能避开人群
[1:41:16] ∮ Maybe it’s better this way ∮ 也许这样会比较好
[1:41:19] ∮ We’d hurt each other with the things we want to say ∮ 我们可以用真心话来伤害彼此
[1:41:22] ∮ We could have been so good together ∮ 我们本该是令人羡慕的一对
[1:41:25] ∮ We could have lived this dance forever ∮ 我们本该让这曲共舞永无终结
[1:41:28] ∮ But now who’s gonna dance with me ∮ 但现在也没人原意与我共舞
[1:41:33] ∮ Please stay ∮ 留下来好吗
[1:41:35] ∮ I’m never gonna dance again ∮ 我再也不跳舞了
[1:41:38] ∮ Guilty feet have got no rhythm ∮ 充满罪恶的双脚抓不住节奏
[1:41:42] ∮ Though it’s easy to pretend ∮ 虽然伪装很容易
[1:41:44] ∮ I know you’re not a fool ∮ 但我知道你也并非傻瓜
[1:41:48] ∮ I should have known better than to cheat a friend ∮ 早知不该欺骗朋友
[1:41:51] ∮ And waste a chance that I’d been given ∮ 也浪费了被赐予的大好机会
[1:41:54] ∮ So I’m never gonna dance again ∮ 所以我不再跳舞了
[1:41:57] ∮ The way I danced with you ∮ 不能再如往日一般与你共舞
[1:42:14] ∮ Now that you’re gone ∮ 如今 你已离我而去
[1:42:17] ∮ I did so wrong So wrong ∮ 我犯下的错真的如此深重吗
[1:42:21] ∮ that you had to leave me alone ∮ 令你离我而去 只留下我孤身一人
[1:47:07] You’re still here? 还在呢?
[1:47:11] It’s over. Go home. 结束了 回家去吧
[1:47:16] Oh, you’re expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2. 你们在等着《死侍2》的预告片啊
[1:47:19] Well, we don’t have that kind of money. 好吧 我们可没那个钱
[1:47:22] What are you expecting? Sam Jackson to show up? 你们还想看什么?以为能看到萨缪尔杰克逊呢?
[1:47:25] With an eye patch and a saucy little leather number? 还带着个眼罩 穿着件拉风的皮衣?
[1:47:27] Go. Go. 快走 快走
[1:47:35] But I can tell you one thing, and it’s a bit of a secret. 不过我能告诉你们一件事 是个小秘密哦
[1:47:38] For the sequel, we’re gonna have Cable. 下一部里会有电索
[1:47:41] Amazing character. Bionic arm, time travel. 这角色了不起 有条机械左臂 还能时空旅行
[1:47:44] We have no idea who we’re gonna cast yet, 我们还不知道谁来演
[1:47:45] but it could be anybody. 谁都有可能
[1:47:46] Just need a big guy with a flat top. 只要是个平头的大块头
[1:47:47] Could be Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren… 可能是梅尔吉布森 道夫龙格尔
[1:47:49] Keira Knightley. She’s got range. Who knows. 凯拉奈特莉 她戏路广着呢 谁知道呢
[1:47:52] Anyway, big secret. Shh… 不管怎样 大秘密哟
[1:47:53] Oh, and don’t leave your garbage all lying around. 别把垃圾留在这 弄得到处都是
[1:47:55] It’s a total dick move. 这种行为完全不能忍
[1:47:59] Go. 走吧
2016年

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