| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | What a crazy day. | 真是疯狂的一天 |
| [00:06] | Ellen spent the entire afternoon | 艾伦花了整整一个下午 |
| [00:08] | trying to get over her fear of cartwheels. | 就为了要克服对翻筋斗的恐惧 |
| [00:10] | Okay. Here I go. | 好啦 我来啦 |
| [00:13] | I can’t, I can’t. | 不行 我做不到 |
| [00:16] | Rocked myself seasick. I’m gonna need a minute. | 有点转晕了 我要休息一下 |
| [00:20] | I’m gonna die! But not today. | 反正我都是要死的 但绝对不是今天 |
| [00:24] | It went on all day, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it. | 她一整天都在重复这个动作 我就一直死死盯着她 |
| [00:28] | I missed all my naps. I’m exhausted. | 我整天都没有睡觉 都要累死了 |
| [00:32] | Stan, do you write a blog? | 斯坦 你在写博客吗 |
| [01:02] | – Stan, you’re writing a blog. – No, no, I’m not. | -斯坦 你在写博客啊 -不 不 我没有 |
| [01:04] | It’s… it’s… it’s notes for a screenplay. | 只是 只是 只是看剧本时做的笔记 |
| [01:07] | Oh, really? Then what’s this screenplay about? | 哦是吗 那这剧本是说什么的 |
| [01:09] | A dog who writes a blog. | 写博客的狗狗 |
| [01:13] | I mean, a dog who has magical adventures | 我是说 它是只有过魔幻经历的狗狗 |
| [01:17] | while saving the world from demons | 魔鬼在亿万年前将孢子植入了地壳 |
| [01:19] | whose spore was planted beneath the earth’s crust eons ago. | 是这只狗狗拯救了地球 |
| [01:21] | And then writes a blog about it. Ay! | 然后它就把经历写上了博客 |
| [01:25] | I would so see that movie. | 我真想看看这部电影 |
| [01:28] | I mean, Stan, you write a blog? | 斯坦 你居然会写博客 |
| [01:32] | He’s been writing about everything | 他把我们家里两年来 |
| [01:35] | that’s happened in our family for the last 2 years. | 发生的所有事都写上博客了 |
| [01:37] | Okay. Yes. I started blogging hoping to reach other talking animals, | 好吧 我本来是打算通过写博客来认识其他会说话的动物 |
| [01:41] | but there don’t seem to be any. | 但现在看来好像没有什么希望了 |
| [01:42] | But a few people read it, and think I’m a person pretending to be a dog. | 只有几个人看了 觉得我是个装成狗的疯子 |
| [01:46] | Assuming those readers are people. | 我就把那些读者当作是人吧 |
| [01:49] | The guy whose screen name is Charlie the bandit sounds awfully raccoony. | 那个叫恶棍查理的家伙听起来就很像个浣熊 |
| [01:54] | Stan, you’ve written about some really embarrassing things here. | 斯坦 你在这里写的东西也太难看了吧 |
| [01:58] | The time I made a fool of myself over Wes. | 这是我痴迷于韦斯的时候 |
| [02:00] | The time I made a fool of myself over Nikki. | 这是我被痴迷于妮基的时候 |
| [02:02] | The other time I made a fool of myself over Wes. | 这是我又一次痴迷于韦斯的时候 |
| [02:04] | The other time I made a fool of myself over Nikki. | 这是我又一次痴迷于妮基的时候 |
| [02:06] | The other, other time I made a fool… | 这是我再一次痴迷于韦斯的时候 |
| [02:08] | wow, it is a miracle either of us ever dated. | 哇 我们两个能约会过真是个奇迹啊 |
| [02:11] | I think it’s cool how you wrote about the time I said, “I’m a mountain man.” | 我喜欢你写我说 “我是山里人”的时候 |
| [02:17] | Or the time I said, “I’m Mrs. Grimmens.” | 还有我说“我是格里蒙斯夫人”的时候 |
| [02:22] | Or the time I said,”Eat your soup!” | 还有我说“喝你的汤吧”的时候 |
| [02:25] | I never realized I spoke so many different languages. | 我都不知道我说过这么多种语言 |
| [02:28] | Stan, I don’t want you writing about us anymore. | 斯坦 我真心不希望你再写我们了 |
| [02:32] | I was afraid of this. It’s why I kept it a secret. | 我怕的就是这个 所以我才没告诉你们 |
| [02:35] | You can write about me. I’ll do something else adorable. | 你可以写写我啊 我还能做些其他很可爱的事 |
| [02:38] | I wuv pa-sghetti. | 偶喜翻意搭利面 |
| [02:41] | Come on! If I were anymore adorable, | 拜托 如果我能再可爱一点点的话 |
| [02:44] | I’d fart a rainbow and fly out of the room. | 我就能放出一道彩虹屁 喷出这间房间了 |
| [02:46] | That wouldn’t be adorable. That’d be magical. | 那不叫可爱 那叫神奇 |
| [02:51] | Either way, you’d be blogging about it. | 反正无论怎样你都会写上博客的 |
| [02:54] | I’m serious, Stan. No more blogging. | 我是认真的 斯坦 别再写博客了 |
| [02:57] | What if someone I know found this? People think I’m cool. | 如果有我认识的人看见了呢 在大家眼里我是个很酷的人 |
| [03:00] | I could live with it if they stop thinking that, | 我是可以接受大家不再崇拜我 |
| [03:03] | but could they? | 可是他们能承受得了吗 |
| [03:04] | In these crazy times we live in, don’t they deserve something to believe in? | 在这个疯狂的年代 难道他们就不该有些信仰吗 |
| [03:08] | Not to mention all the embarrassing stories in here about mom and dad. | 我们还没说你写的那些关于爸妈的尴尬故事呢 |
| [03:12] | Ellen, it’s harvest time. | 艾伦 是时候收割啦 |
| [03:15] | Like the fact that mom shaves dad’s back hair. | 比如老妈帮老爸剃背毛这种事 |
| [03:18] | Guys, this blog means everything to me. | 同志们 这个博客对我来说意义重大 |
| [03:22] | It’s the one thing I have where I can really express myself | 这是我唯一能够向外界表达自我 |
| [03:25] | to the outside world and be who I am. | 做我自己的地方 |
| [03:27] | Please, don’t ask me to give that up. | 求你们了 别不让我写博客 |
| [03:30] | Well, as long as no one thinks you’re a talking dog, | 只要没人发现你是只会说话的狗狗 |
| [03:34] | I guess I’m okay with it. What do you say, Tyler? | 我觉得我还是可以接受的 你觉得呢 泰勒 |
| [03:37] | Well, I guess I do care more about Stan than about the people whose lives | 好吧 我觉得比起那些看见完美的我有点小缺陷 |
| [03:40] | will be shattered when they see I have flaws. | 就会心烦意乱的人 我更关心斯坦 |
| [03:43] | Yes, Tyler. It’s the end of Camelot. | 对啊 泰勒 卡梅洛特就是这样沦陷的 |
| [03:47] | The fact that I don’t get that is not one of my flaws. | 我没理解你这句话不是我的问题 |
| [03:48] | The fact that you said it is one of yours. | 而你说出这种话来就是你的问题了 |
| [03:52] | Put that in, Stan. | 这个也写上啊 斯坦 |
| [03:55] | I’ll tell you what he should put in his next blog. | 我来告诉你们他的下一篇博客应该写什么 |
| [03:58] | Does anyone see a rainbow behind me? | 有人看见我身后的彩虹了吗 |
| [04:05] | Well, my book is done. | 我的书已经写好啦 |
| [04:07] | Got it right here on this flash drive. | 就在这个U盘里面 |
| [04:09] | Oh, the book on blended families that you didn’t want my help with. | 哦 那本你没让我帮忙写的关于混合家庭的书 |
| [04:12] | Pardon me for not doing cartwheels, | 原谅我还是没做侧空翻 |
| [04:14] | which I can do, by the way, not the least bit afraid. | 顺带一提 我是会做的 我一点都不害怕 |
| [04:17] | Aah! I have nothing to prove here. | 我不用给你证明什么 |
| [04:23] | Actually I have a little surprise, Ellen. | 事实上我给你留了些小惊喜 艾伦 |
| [04:25] | I did use many of your suggestions, | 我的确采用了很多你的建议 |
| [04:28] | especially the jokes, and I am going to give you a credit on the book cover. | 尤其是笑话方面 我还打算在封面上写上你的名字 |
| [04:33] | “Additional material by Ellen Jennings.” | “附加资料来源于艾伦·詹宁斯” |
| [04:36] | Bennett, you used my jokes? | 班尼特 你用了我的笑话吗 |
| [04:39] | Additional material by… | 附加材料来源于 |
| [04:41] | I’m actually getting an AMB credit. | 我获得了AMB署名啊 |
| [04:44] | – That’s what they call it, right? – Nobody ever calls it that. | -他们是这样说的吧 -谁也不会这么说这个东西 |
| [04:46] | They’ll start to. It’s funny. | 他们会开始这么叫的 因为很有趣 |
| [04:47] | I’m not sure what’s funny about it. | 我可不觉得这有什么有趣的 |
| [04:50] | Oh, please. Who’s the professional comedy writer here? | 哦 拜托了 谁才是这里最专业的喜剧作家啊 |
| [04:52] | So when will that book get published? | 那这本书什么时候才会出版呢 |
| [04:55] | Will there be a party? What should I wear? | 会举办派对吗 我要穿什么呢 |
| [04:57] | Something that says authoress or something that says comedienne? | 要穿成女作家 还是穿成喜剧演员 |
| [04:59] | Maybe funny pants and a serious top. | 或者穿个滑稽的裤子 搭配正经的上衣 |
| [05:02] | Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. | 好吧 先别想太多 |
| [05:05] | My editor Barry has to like it first. | 我的编辑巴里得喜欢这本书 才能出版 |
| [05:07] | You understand he’s kind of like my boss, right? | 你也知道他算是我的老板吧 |
| [05:09] | Our boss, Bennett. We’re a team now. | 是我们的老板 班尼特 我们现在是一队的了 |
| [05:12] | You need me. There aren’t a lot of additional material artists out there. | 你需要我 世界上可没多少个附加材料作者 |
| [05:16] | That’s what they call us. | 这是他们对我这种人的尊称 |
| [05:17] | No, they… never mind. | 不 他们 当我没说 |
| [05:19] | I gotta tell you, honey, I am not looking forward to his feedback. | 我得告诉你 亲爱的 我现在已经不在意他怎么想了 |
| [05:23] | I really should get a different editor. | 我真该找个新编辑 |
| [05:25] | He can be pretty annoying, and not just his nitpicky notes. | 巴里真的太烦人了 先不说他那鸡蛋里挑骨头的批注 |
| [05:29] | When we go out for lunch, he gets so excited, he spits when he eats. | 我们出去吃午饭的时候 他超级激动 吃什么喷什么 |
| [05:34] | Bennett, I can’t wait to talk about your book… and this is just crackers. | 班尼特 我等不及要跟你谈谈你的书 而这才只是饼干而已 |
| [05:40] | In our last lunch, he was mouth-firing chicken cacciatore at me. | 我们上一次一起吃午饭的时候 他就像个装着炖鸡的大炮 |
| [05:46] | Does Barry throw his dirty socks on the floor, too? | 巴里也喜欢把脏袜子扔在地上吗 |
| [05:49] | ‘Cause that would make him the total package. | 那他可是最适合养狗狗的天才啦 |
| [05:55] | What happened here? | 发生了什么事 |
| [05:57] | Someone’s clothes are on backwards. | 有人把衣服穿反啦 |
| [06:02] | That Chloe, what will she do next? | 那个克洛伊 她接下来会做出些什么呢 |
| [06:05] | That should get me into Stan’s blog, right? | 这下我能被写进斯坦的博客里了对吧 |
| [06:08] | I don’t know about Stan’s blog, | 我不知道斯坦会不会写你 |
| [06:09] | – but it could get you into mine. – You have a blog? | -但是我能把你写进我的博客 -你也有博客 |
| [06:12] | Stan inspired me. So today I started a blog. | 斯坦启发了我 所以我今天开始写博客 |
| [06:14] | Here’s my first post. | 这是我的第一篇博文 |
| [06:16] | “Today I started a blog.” | “我今天开始写博客了” |
| [06:21] | I’m keeping it real. I think my audience will like that. | 我写得很真实 我觉得我的读者们会喜欢的 |
| [06:25] | Tyler, I read your blog. | 泰勒 我看了你的博客 |
| [06:26] | I love how you’re keeping it real. | 我喜欢你保持真实的感觉 |
| [06:31] | Tyler, everybody at school loves your blog. | 泰勒 学校里的每个人都说喜欢你的博客 |
| [06:35] | I don’t get it. | 我就不懂了 |
| [06:36] | All you wrote is, “today I started a blog.” | 你只是写了“我今天开始写博客了”而已 |
| [06:38] | – And, “hey.” – Hey. | -还有“嘿” -嘿 |
| [06:41] | Well, when you say it that way, I can see the appeal. | 好吧 你这么说这句话的时候 我倒是明白这种吸引力了 |
| [06:44] | Guys, I’m glad you’re all here. | 真高兴你们都在这儿 |
| [06:46] | I heard your dad talking about his book and it got me thinking. | 我听见你们的爸爸在说他的新书 引发了我的思考 |
| [06:49] | I could publish my blog as a book. | 我可以把我的博客写成一本书啊 |
| [06:52] | How amazing would that be? | 这该有多棒啊 |
| [06:54] | I put it on this flash drive to send to your dad’s editor. | 我把我写的书放进U盘 打算发给你们老爸的编辑 |
| [06:57] | Stan, you can’t publish your blog as a book. | 斯坦 你不能把博客出版成书 |
| [07:00] | Not before you write about the backwards-dressing girl. | 至少要等你写上那个衣服穿反的小女孩啊 |
| [07:04] | Zipper in the back, snacks in the hood. | 拉链在背后 帽兜有零食 |
| [07:10] | No. No books about you as a talking dog. | 不 不能出版说你是只会说话的狗狗的书 |
| [07:12] | We need to keep that secret, remember? | 我们要保守这个秘密 还记得吗 |
| [07:14] | We could just say that you wrote it. | 我们可以说是你写的啊 |
| [07:16] | The people reading it online think it was written by a person. | 那些在网上看到的人也觉得这是人写的呀 |
| [07:19] | Sure. That may fool most people, but what about mom and dad? | 当然 这样可以骗过大多数人 可是老爸老妈呢 |
| [07:23] | If they read this, they’ll see that there’s things on there | 他们读了以后就会知道 这上面写的东西 |
| [07:26] | only you could know. | 只有你会知道 |
| [07:27] | Yeah, like when they talk to you on Halloween, | 对啊 比如他们在万圣节跟你说话的事 |
| [07:29] | or when mom spent all day trying to do cartwheels, | 还有妈妈整天练习侧空翻的事 |
| [07:31] | you were the only one there. | 都只有你在场 |
| [07:33] | And a hundred other things that seemed weird at the time | 还有很多很多别的事情 一开始看起来就很奇怪 |
| [07:36] | that they’ll piece together, and realize that you really talk. | 然后他们就会把这些事情拼在一起 发现你真的会说话 |
| [07:40] | And that you think your stuffed monkey talks, | 还有你觉得你的填充玩具猴子能说话 |
| [07:42] | which is a whole other level of weird. | 那是奇怪的另一种境界 |
| [07:45] | You’ll think it’s less weird when he gives you your favorite muffin. | 你看见他给你你最喜欢的小蛋糕之后 就不会觉得很奇怪了 |
| [07:48] | It’s a banana nut from a banana nut. | 是香蕉怪咖做的香蕉蛋糕 |
| [07:55] | I told you that wasn’t funny, Robert. | 我就跟你说过这不搞笑啦 罗伯特 |
| [07:58] | The point is it’s too risky for your blog to become a book. | 重点是 你把博客写成书 风险太大了 |
| [08:02] | Wow, I guess I didn’t think it through. | 好吧 看来是我还没想清楚 |
| [08:03] | Good thing I didn’t send this in. | 还好我还没把书发过去 |
| [08:05] | Let’s delete it before anything bad happens. | 在坏事发生之前我们删了它吧 |
| [08:08] | Are you gonna eat that muffin? | 你想吃这个蛋糕吗 |
| [08:09] | The one the dog gave to the stuffed monkey? | 一只狗狗给填充玩具猴子的蛋糕 |
| [08:11] | No, I don’t think that’s going anywhere near my mouth. | 还是算了吧 我可不觉得这个可以靠近我的嘴 |
| [08:15] | I’ll just hood it for later. | 那我就先兜住 等下再吃 |
| [08:19] | This is dad’s book. | 这是老爸写的书 |
| [08:21] | Stan, you said you put your blog on here. | 斯坦 你说你把你的博客放进里面了 |
| [08:22] | This is dad’s flash drive. | 可这是老爸的U盘 |
| [08:24] | – Well, that’s weird. – Good news, kids. | -呃 这就有点奇怪了 -好消息 孩子们 |
| [08:26] | My editor read my new book and loved it. | 编辑看了我的新书以后觉得很喜欢 |
| [08:29] | I’m gonna talk to him all about it tomorrow, but he said it was an innovative | 我本来打算明天再跟他说书的事情 |
| [08:33] | and different approach to writing about family dynamics. | 但他说这本书很有创意而且新颖地阐释了家庭动力学 |
| [08:37] | So thank you, kids. | 所以 谢谢你们 孩子们 |
| [08:38] | If we were just a little more normal, this would not have been possible. | 如果我们家再普通一点点 这就不可能发生了 |
| [08:45] | This is terrible. | 太糟糕了 |
| [08:47] | If we have dad’s flash drive, | 如果我们有老爸的硬盘 |
| [08:49] | that must mean he sent Stan’s flash drive by mistake. | 那老爸肯定是错发了斯坦的U盘 |
| [08:52] | The editor didn’t read dad’s book, he read Stan’s blog. | 编辑读的不是老爸的书 是斯坦写的博客 |
| [08:56] | And found it innovative and different, | 他觉得这本书有创意而且新颖 |
| [08:58] | which is really gratifying, but I can’t sound excited | 这真是太好了 可是我又不能太激动 |
| [09:01] | because you guys are upset. | 因为你们这么沮丧 |
| [09:04] | Stan, when dad talks to his editor tomorrow, | 斯坦 明天老爸跟编辑说话的时候 |
| [09:06] | he’s going to find out about your blog. | 他肯定会发现你的博客 |
| [09:09] | Mom and dad are gonna find out your secrets. What are we gonna do? | 老爸老妈也会发现你的秘密 我们该怎么办 |
| [09:13] | This may not work, | 虽然不一定管用 |
| [09:14] | but I’m hoping if you wear your clothes backwards | 不过我觉得如果你把衣服反着穿 |
| [09:16] | and run real fast, you can turn back time. | 跑到足够快的时候 时间就可以倒流啦 |
| [09:20] | I found yesterday’s newspaper. | 我看到了昨天的报纸 |
| [09:23] | It worked. | 真的倒流了 |
| [09:30] | What are we gonna do? | 我们该怎么办呢 |
| [09:31] | We have to keep dad’s editor from talking to dad about Stan’s blog | 我们得阻止编辑跟老爸谈斯坦的博客 |
| [09:35] | or mom and dad will find out Stan’s secret. | 不然老爸老妈肯定会发现斯坦的秘密 |
| [09:39] | Tyler, are you hooding snacks, too? | 泰勒 你也往帽兜里放零食吗 |
| [09:42] | Well, hoods aren’t just for heads anymore. | 帽兜可不再只是放脑袋的地方了 |
| [09:43] | Get with the times, Avery. | 你要跟上时代啊 艾芙莉 |
| [09:47] | Wait. I have an idea for how to keep dad | 等等 我有个能够阻止老爸 |
| [09:49] | from seeing the blog he sent to his editor. | 看那篇他自己发给编辑的博客的方法 |
| [09:52] | No, it would ruin things between dad and his editor, and we can’t do that. | 不 这样会把老爸和编辑的关系弄僵 我们不能那么做 |
| [09:57] | I did hear your dad say the guy is nitpicky | 我确实听到你爸说编辑是个挑剔烦人的家伙 |
| [09:59] | and annoying and he wants a different editor. | 他想换个新编辑 |
| [10:02] | Then maybe we can do this. | 那或许我们可以这么做呢 |
| [10:04] | Stan, do you know what an agent is? | 斯坦 你知道代理人是干什么的吗 |
| [10:07] | You mean someone who finds jobs | 你是说那些 |
| [10:09] | for writers in exchange for a percentage of the money | 帮作家找工作 收取作家稿酬的一部分 |
| [10:11] | the writer earns from said writing, | 作为佣金的人 |
| [10:12] | or the active ingredient in a cleaning solution? | 还是洗涤剂里的一种化学成分 |
| [10:12] | （注：agent也有去污化学制剂的意思 如cleaning agents 去污剂） | |
| [10:16] | – The first one. – Then no, no, I don’t know what it is. | -第一种 -那就不 不 我不知道那是什么 |
| [10:20] | Hello, is this Barry Barns, the book editor? | 你好 请问您是编辑巴里·巴尼斯吗 |
| [10:22] | Yes. Who is this? And how did you get my direct line? | 是的 请问你是 还有你是怎么知道我的号码的 |
| [10:25] | Did my assistant… Marcus, pull your personnel file, | 我的助理 马库斯 把你的人事档案找出来 |
| [10:28] | and put another frowny face sticker on it! | 再贴一个皱眉的表情贴纸上去 |
| [10:32] | I’m Bennett James’ agent Stan. | 我是班尼特·詹尼斯的代理人 斯坦 |
| [10:34] | Stan Agent-guy. | 斯坦·就是代理 |
| [10:38] | Well, that’s the most made-up sounding last name I’ve ever heard. | 好吧 这可是我听过的最像胡编出来的姓氏了 |
| [10:40] | Then you haven’t met my cousin, Craig Made-up-last-name. | 那肯定是因为你还没见过我的表亲 克雷格·就是乱编 |
| [10:44] | It used to be Made-up-last-nameowitz, | 以前是叫就是乱编维茨 |
| [10:46] | but he shortened it when he got into showbiz. | 不过自从他进了娱乐圈以后他就改成缩写了 |
| [10:50] | The thing is, Bennett doesn’t want to work with you anymore. | 现在的情况是 班尼特不想跟你合作了 |
| [10:53] | So don’t talk to him about the book ever again. | 所以你以后别再跟他说那本书的事情了 |
| [10:56] | But you can talk to me. | 不过你可以跟我谈 |
| [10:57] | What made it so innovative and different? | 你觉得是什么让这本书又有创意又新颖呢 |
| [11:00] | – Stan. – Focus. | -斯坦 -集中点 |
| [11:01] | -What was that? -Uh, two people I hired | -那是谁 -呃 只是两个我雇来 |
| [11:03] | to stand in my office and remind me to focus. | 站在我的办公室提醒我要集中精神的人 |
| [11:06] | Marcus, get me two people to stand in my office and remind me to focus! | 马库斯 给我找两个人来站在办公室提醒我集中精神 |
| [11:11] | I’m just gonna talk to Bennett directly. | 我要直接跟班尼特谈谈 |
| [11:13] | I didn’t even know he had an agent. | 我都不知道他有个代理人 |
| [11:14] | How do I even know you are his agent? | 我该怎么相信你是他的代理人呢 |
| [11:16] | You could just be some crazy guy. | 你可能只是个疯子 |
| [11:18] | Please. If I were a crazy guy, my name would be Stan… | 拜托了 如果我是个疯子 我的名字就会是斯坦 |
| [11:26] | -Stan! -Focus. | -斯坦 -集中精神 |
| [11:28] | Wow. Those guys are good. | 哇 这些人还真不错 |
| [11:31] | If I’m not Bennett’s agent, | 如果我不是班尼特的代理人 |
| [11:33] | then how do I know you had chicken cacciatore at your last lunch with him? | 我又怎么会知道你上一次和他吃饭吃的是炖鸡呢 |
| [11:35] | And that you spit it all over his shirt. | 你还把炖鸡喷得他衬衫上到处都是 |
| [11:39] | He told me how gross and disgusting you are. | 他跟我说了你有多粗暴恶心 |
| [11:42] | He wants nothing to do with you. | 他一点也不想跟你合作 |
| [11:43] | He said that? | 他是这么说的 |
| [11:45] | Oh, that’s insulting and hurtful, and makes me think of my own behavior | 哦 那真是对我的侮辱 也好伤人 而且是以这样一种 |
| [11:50] | in ways I would prefer not to. | 我不喜欢的形式来告诉我 |
| [11:54] | You can tell… you can tell Bennett | 你可以 你可以跟班尼特说 |
| [11:56] | our relationship is over, as is this call. | 我们的合作关系结束了 正如这通电话一样 |
| [11:59] | I’m late for an important eye appointment. | 我的眼科预约时间已经到了 |
| [12:02] | Really? Which is your important eye, the left or the right? | 真的吗 哪只眼睛对你更重要 左眼还是右眼 |
| [12:05] | Never call me again. | 别再打电话给我了 |
| [12:08] | Way to go, Stan. You did it. | 做得好 斯坦 你做到啦 |
| [12:11] | You are a wizard with prank phone calls. | 你简直是恶作剧电话的大师啊 |
| [12:13] | Oh, call me next Halloween as count Dracula. | 哦 万圣节的时候记得装作吸血鬼德拉库拉打电话给我 |
| [12:15] | I’ll have forgotten about this by then. | 到那时候我应该就会忘记是你装出来的了 |
| [12:18] | Hey, Chloe. Wait, what’s that in Suzie’s mouth? | 嘿 克洛伊 等等 苏西的嘴里塞的是什么 |
| [12:22] | – Suzie’s pacifier. – No, it’s not. It’s a flash drive. | -苏西的奶嘴呀 -不 这是个U盘 |
| [12:25] | Yes. And Suzie is not a real baby. | 对啊 苏西也不是个真的小孩 |
| [12:27] | It’s called imagination. | 这叫想象力 |
| [12:33] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [12:35] | Stan, this is the flash drive with your blog on it. | 斯坦 这是装着你博客的U盘 |
| [12:37] | Dad didn’t give it to his editor, which means we got dad fired for nothing. | 老爸没把它给编辑 也就是说我们让老爸无缘无故被炒了 |
| [12:43] | Well, we got two people hired to remind Barry | 呃 巴里因为我们而雇佣两个人来提醒他集中精神 |
| [12:45] | to focus, so it’s still a net gain for the economy. | 所以也算是为经济增长做出了贡献啦 |
| [12:48] | But if we have the flash drive with Stan’s blog on it, | 可是如果说我们这里有装着斯坦博客的U盘 |
| [12:51] | and the one with dad’s book, then what did the editor read? | 还有装着老爸写的书的U盘 那编辑看到的是什么呢 |
| [12:58] | So, dad, hypothetical question. | 好吧 老爸 有个假设性的问题 |
| [13:01] | If a person were to send an editor, let’s say, a book, | 如果有个人要给编辑发一份东西 比如说 一本书 |
| [13:07] | how would he or she do that? | 他会怎么发呢 |
| [13:10] | It’s all by email now. Why are you asking? | 现在都用电子邮件发了 问这个干嘛 |
| [13:12] | I’m always asking questions. | 我总是问很多问题的呀 |
| [13:14] | How else would I have learned | 要不我怎么会知道 |
| [13:16] | that this part of the turkey is called the snood. | 火鸡的这个部分叫肉垂呢 |
| [13:19] | So a person would never send an editor a flash drive? | 也就是说 没人会给编辑发U盘 |
| [13:23] | No, of course not. | 不 当然不会啦 |
| [13:24] | Why would I send a flash drive to someone for no reason? | 我怎么会无缘无故把U盘送给别人呢 |
| [13:26] | Those things are like ten bucks. | 这玩意可要十块钱呢 |
| [13:29] | Ah, it’s my editor. | 啊 是我的编辑 |
| [13:31] | Probably thought of some more praise to heap on me. | 大概是想到了更多的赞美之词来夸我 |
| [13:34] | Barry, hi. How is it go… | 巴里 你好呀 怎么 |
| [13:37] | I can’t believe you said all those hurtful things about me. | 真是不敢相信你在我背后说了这么多伤人的话 |
| [13:39] | You’re through, you hear me? You’re through! | 你完了 听见没 你完了 |
| [13:41] | I’m never publishing another book of yours ever again. | 我再也不会出版你的书了 |
| [13:43] | You can forget it. Our relationship is over! | 你就忘了吧 我们的合作结束了 |
| [13:47] | Turns out, it wasn’t praise. | 结果 居然不是赞美 |
| [13:51] | Barry is not publishing the book. | 巴里不出版我的书了 |
| [13:53] | But based on my AMB credit, I already booked a gig as a humorist | 可因为我有AMB头衔 我已经以幽默家的身份 |
| [13:56] | for the Ladies Auxiliary of Whittier, | 在惠蒂尔辅助会定了一场演出 |
| [13:58] | so I could make a joke about being wittier… | 我还打算在演出上面开开如何变得更聪明的玩笑 |
| [14:02] | Which would not have worked | 如果我定在皮克里维拉 |
| [14:03] | if I booked myself at Pico Rivera. | 这个笑话就肯定不好笑了 |
| [14:05] | Honey, I do not have an editor now. This is terrible. | 亲爱的 我现在没有编辑了 真的很严重 |
| [14:08] | But I thought you didn’t like your editor. | 可我以为你不喜欢你的编辑 |
| [14:11] | I thought you wanted to find a different editor. | 我以为你想另找一个新编辑 |
| [14:12] | I was just blowing off steam. | 我那都是气话 |
| [14:14] | Oh, yeah, Barry is annoying, | 没错 巴里是很烦人 |
| [14:15] | but he sells my books and I don’t know who else to go to. | 可他能卖出我的书啊 我真的不知道还能找谁了 |
| [14:18] | It took me five years just to get him. | 我花了五年才请到他 |
| [14:21] | And when did you hear me say I wanted a different editor? | 你是什么时候听到我说我想换个编辑的 |
| [14:23] | When? | 什么时候 |
| [14:25] | It’s not like I check the clock every time I learn new information. | 又不是我每次学到新知识就会看一下时钟 |
| [14:28] | I’m inquisitive, not compulsive. | 我是好奇心强 又不是强迫症 |
| [14:31] | What are we gonna do, Bennett? | 我们该怎么做 班尼特 |
| [14:33] | We get most of our money from your books. | 我们大部分收入都是通过卖书得来的 |
| [14:36] | Listen, kids, you don’t need to worry about money. | 听着 孩子们 你们不用担心钱的问题 |
| [14:40] | I’m sure everything will be okay. | 我很肯定一切都会没事的 |
| [14:42] | I’ll do that gig in Pico Rivera. | 我会把演出改到皮克里维拉 |
| [14:44] | What’s funny about pico Rivera? | 皮克里维拉有啥笑点 |
| [14:47] | Pico, pico, pico… | 皮克 皮克 皮克 |
| [14:50] | Oh, pico-boo. Okay, I’m in. | 哦 皮克布 好 我决定了 |
| [14:53] | So your mom is going to be a comedienne. | 你们的老妈立志做一个喜剧演员 |
| [14:57] | Solid, solid back-up plan. | 一个很靠谱的备用计划 |
| [15:04] | Guys, if we get most of our money from dad’s books, what are we gonna do? | 如果我们家大部分的钱都是老爸的书赚的 我们该怎么办 |
| [15:08] | Avery, it’s gonna be okay, isn’t it? | 艾芙莉 一切都会没事的 不是吗 |
| [15:11] | I don’t know, Stan. | 我也不知道 斯坦 |
| [15:14] | This family could be in big trouble. | 家里可能要出大事了 |
| [15:16] | What did we do? | 看看我们做了什么蠢事 |
| [15:22] | This will be my last blog. | 这将会是我的最后一篇博客了 |
| [15:23] | In order to save Bennett’s career, | 为了要拯救班尼特的作家生涯 |
| [15:25] | and this family that I love so much, | 和这个我深爱着的家庭 |
| [15:28] | I’m gonna go tell his editor | 我要告诉他的编辑 |
| [15:30] | the truth about what happened and give up the secret | 关于整件事的经过 |
| [15:33] | that I am a talking dog. | 还有我会说话的秘密 |
| [15:42] | Guys, you better see Stan’s latest blog. | 朋友们 你们最好看看斯坦最新的博文 |
| [15:48] | Stan is going to see dad’s editor | 斯坦要跟老爸的编辑 |
| [15:51] | to tell the truth about everything. | 坦白一切了 |
| [15:53] | He’s gonna reveal his secret to save dad’s career and the family. | 为了老爸的前途 为了我们家 他要牺牲自己的秘密 |
| [15:58] | He’ll be taken away and experimented on. | 他要被抓走做实验了 |
| [16:00] | We have to stop him from doing this. | 我们得阻止他 |
| [16:03] | We’d be better off if the editor had read Stan’s blog. | 如果编辑看了斯坦的博客 那我们就发达了 |
| [16:06] | Maybe he wouldn’t have even been interested | 他本来不太可能喜欢 |
| [16:08] | in the time you stole a pig or Chloe’s tea parties, | 你偷了头猪或者克洛伊开了个茶话会 |
| [16:11] | or when everyone applauded my haircut. | 又或者大家赞美了我的发型之类的事儿 |
| [16:13] | Okay, he would have loved that last one. | 好吧 他本来也会喜欢最后一个啦 |
| [16:15] | It had suspense, drama and a charismatic leading man. | 我可是个充满悬念 集戏剧性与魅力于一身的男主演 |
| [16:19] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [16:20] | He wrote about my tea parties? | 他还写了我的茶话会吗 |
| [16:22] | Those are super secret. | 那可是天大的秘密 |
| [16:24] | That’s what makes them special. | 正是这种神秘感才让它们如此特别 |
| [16:26] | I’m never gonna pet Stan again. | 我再也不摸斯坦了 |
| [16:29] | Of course, you will, Chloe, because you love him. | 你当然会的 克洛伊 因为你爱他呀 |
| [16:33] | And you’re a petter, you have to pet. | 而且你那么喜欢宠物 你肯定会摸他 |
| [16:35] | No, I don’t. | 我才不是呢 |
| [16:36] | You’re petting Tyler right now. | 你现在就在摸泰勒呢 |
| [16:37] | It feels good. | 感觉真不错 |
| [16:40] | Those little fingers are strong, and they really get in there. | 她的手还挺有力的 而且真的很舒服啊 |
| [16:43] | We don’t have time for this right now. | 我们现在没时间说这个了 |
| [16:45] | We have to get to Barry’s office before Stan does anything. | 我们得赶在斯坦行动之前赶到巴里的办公室 |
| [16:48] | Those fingers really do get in there. | 她的手指真的好舒服啊 |
| [16:53] | So here’s the thing, Barry. | 就这么跟你说吧 巴里 |
| [16:55] | When I called you on the phone before and said all those things about | 我之前打电话跟你说什么 |
| [16:58] | Bennett not wanting you to publish the book, that wasn’t the truth. | 班尼特不想出版那本书的事都不是真的 |
| [17:02] | The truth is I’m a dog. | 真相是我是只狗 |
| [17:08] | All agents are dogs, and don’t think | 所有的代理人都是狗 |
| [17:10] | you can intimidate me just because I had an eyelid rejuvenation. | 你别以为趁我眼睛还没康复 就能威胁我 |
| [17:13] | It is the manliest of all elective cosmetic eye procedures. | 这是所有眼科整形里面最有男人味的整形 |
| [17:18] | No, you don’t understand. | 不 你不懂 |
| [17:19] | -When I said I was a dog, I mean… -Stan, you can’t do… | -我说我是只狗狗的时候 我想 -斯坦 你不能 |
| [17:23] | Now who’s here? More people in my office? | 这又是谁 办公室里怎么又来了人啊 |
| [17:25] | That’s right. People, just people, | 没错啊 人 都是人 |
| [17:28] | two-legged creatures with opposable thumbs, | 有着对生拇指的双腿生物 |
| [17:30] | able to use hammers and drive cars, sometimes with all the mirrors | 耍得了锤子开得了车 有时还会对着镜子里的影子 |
| [17:34] | pointing at themselves. | 自我陶醉 |
| [17:38] | I don’t care if you have hammers. | 我才不管你有没有锤子 |
| [17:40] | I am not validating your parking. | 我可没同意你们在这里免费停车 |
| [17:42] | Joke’s on you ’cause I already lost my ticket. | 那就是你傻了 因为我早就把停车票弄丢了 |
| [17:45] | Wait, here it is. Dang it! | 等等 还在这儿呢 该死 |
| [17:49] | Stan, don’t do this. | 斯坦 别这么做 |
| [17:51] | I have to. | 我无路可退 |
| [17:52] | I have to save Bennett’s career. | 我得拯救班尼特的前途 |
| [17:54] | Barry, I’m really a dog. | 巴里 我真的是只狗 |
| [17:58] | We’re all dogs. | 我们都是狗 |
| [18:05] | Marcus! | 马库斯 |
| [18:06] | Marcus, are you back yet? | 马库斯 你回来了没 |
| [18:08] | There are loons with hammers barking in my office. | 有些疯子拿着锤子在我的办公室里乱吠 |
| [18:11] | I don’t know what this means. | 我都不懂他们想干嘛 |
| [18:15] | Stan, you can’t do this. | 斯坦 你不能这么做 |
| [18:18] | We’ll save dad’s career another way and everything will be okay. | 我们可以换种方式来拯救爸爸的前途 一切都会好起来的 |
| [18:21] | Everything except my super-secret tea party secret not being super-secret. | 除了我的超级神秘茶话会再也不超级神秘了 |
| [18:26] | I’m mad at you, Stan. | 我生气了 斯坦 |
| [18:27] | I’m not gonna pet you anymore. | 我不会再摸你了 |
| [18:29] | Chloe, this isn’t the time for this. | 克洛伊 现在不是说这个的时候 |
| [18:31] | Avery, just let her make her point. | 艾芙莉 就让她这么做吧 |
| [18:34] | Okay, Avery, try it your way. | 好吧 艾芙莉 试试用你的办法 |
| [18:36] | But if it doesn’t work, I’ll go full dog on him. | 可是如果也不行的话 我就要用狗狗的办法告诉他了 |
| [18:39] | I’ll jump in his lap and burp kibble in his face. | 我会跳上他的大腿 冲着他脸上打嗝 |
| [18:41] | I’m holding one in the top of my throat right now. | 我喉咙里现在就留着一颗狗粮呢 |
| [18:44] | I’ll come up with something else. | 我待会儿再想别的办法 |
| [18:47] | What are you whispering about? | 你们偷偷摸摸地说什么呢 |
| [18:49] | You better not be messing with me. | 你们最好别惹我 |
| [18:51] | I warn you, I train at a boxing gym every day, jumping rope. | 警告你们 我可是每天都锻炼身体的 跳绳 |
| [18:55] | You don’t want none of this. | 你们绝对不会喜欢 |
| [18:59] | It’s okay, Mr. barns, we’re just here | 我们没打算干嘛 巴恩斯先生 |
| [19:00] | because you have to publish our dad’s book. | 我们来是想让你出版我们老爸写的书 |
| [19:03] | And you think bursting into my office like this | 你们觉得就这么闯入我的办公室 |
| [19:05] | and telling me to publish your dad’s book is gonna make me publish it? | 叫我出版你们老爸的书 就能让我改变主意了吗 |
| [19:08] | You got 60 seconds, dazzle me. | 给你们六十秒来说服我 |
| [19:11] | – Well, our dad is Bennett James. – Time’s up. | -呃 我们老爸叫班尼特·詹姆斯 -时间到 |
| [19:14] | You should have heard the horribly insulting things | 你们肯定也听过这个神经病代理人 |
| [19:16] | this crazy agent had to say to me. | 跟我说过的话有多伤人 |
| [19:19] | I am never… | 我再也不 |
| [19:21] | I am never working with Bennett James again. | 我再也不跟班尼特·詹姆斯合作了 |
| [19:24] | Okay. We tried it your way. | 好吧 我们试过你的办法了 |
| [19:26] | Now I’m gonna put my snout in his face. | 我要用鼻子蹭他的脸了 |
| [19:29] | When he feels it, he’ll know I’m either a dog | 他感觉到的时候 就会知道 要么我是只狗 |
| [19:31] | or a hairy person with no boundaries. | 要么我就是个毛发多到没轮廓的人 |
| [19:34] | Barry, this may shock you. | 巴里 接下来发生的事可能会吓到你 |
| [19:36] | Wait, don’t do this. | 等等 别这么做 |
| [19:37] | You’re family, we can’t lose you. | 你是我们的家人 我们不能失去你 |
| [19:40] | You kids think of me as family? | 孩子们 你们觉得我是你们的家人 |
| [19:42] | I had no idea. That’s really sweet. | 我都不知道 真是太暖心了 |
| [19:44] | I thought you were mad at me because of what I did. | 我以为你们因为我做的蠢事而生气了 |
| [19:46] | You were just repeating it. I was really mad at Bennett. | 你只是在重复班尼特说的话 我气的是班尼特 |
| [19:50] | You can be mad at someone, | 你可以生别人的气 |
| [19:52] | but if you care about them, you forgive them. | 但如果你真的关心他们 就该原谅他们 |
| [19:54] | I do care about Bennett. | 我是很关心班尼特啊 |
| [19:56] | He is the only one of my writers who still goes to lunch with me. | 他是唯一一个还肯跟我吃午饭的作家了 |
| [20:00] | You have the kindest, most tender soul of anyone I have ever encountered. | 你拥有我遇到过的最善良最柔软的灵魂 |
| [20:05] | That’s true. | 这倒是真的 |
| [20:06] | I put myself out there. | 我总是掏心掏肺地对待别人 |
| [20:08] | It’s why I’m so easily hurt. | 所以我才这么容易受伤 |
| [20:11] | So everything is okay? | 所以现在是没事了吗 |
| [20:13] | You’re not gonna do anything crazy here, right? | 你不打算在这儿做出什么疯狂的事了 对吧 |
| [20:16] | Yeah, cutting things off with my favorite writer would be crazy. | 对啊 跟我最喜欢的作家一刀两段的确是很疯狂 |
| [20:19] | I’m gonna publish Bennett’s book. | 我要出版班尼特的书 |
| [20:21] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:24] | Marcus, are you back? | 马库斯 你回来了吗 |
| [20:26] | Did you get the stuff I wanted? | 你拿到我想要的东西了吗 |
| [20:28] | I can walk there myself. | 我能自己走过去 |
| [20:30] | I can do this. Nobody help me. | 我能做到 你们别来扶我 |
| [20:32] | I have to do this, ’cause I’m gonna have to live like this | 我得这么做 因为我下午就要揭开绷带了 |
| [20:36] | for the rest of my afternoon when I can take these bandages off. | 我要珍惜这段在黑暗中的时间 |
| [20:40] | He’s gonna publish the book and my secret is safe? | 他肯出版书了 而我的秘密也没有泄漏 |
| [20:43] | How did this happen? | 这是怎么做到的 |
| [20:45] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [20:46] | And he’s in such a good mood, maybe he’ll validate. | 而且他这么开心 搞不好他就批准我停车了 |
| [20:49] | Oh, I lost my ticket again. Dang it. | 哦 我又把停车票弄丢了 |
| [20:51] | Oh, here it is. | 哦 在这儿呢 |
| [20:57] | I’m so glad you forgave me, | 你能原谅我真的是太好了 |
| [20:59] | and that we’re still doing our super-secret tea parties. | 而且我们还能开超级神秘茶话会 |
| [21:02] | Yeah. But now that the secret’s out, | 是啊 可是现在秘密泄露了 |
| [21:04] | it’s impossible to keep out the riff-raff. | 我们就没法阻止不三不四的人参加了 |
| [21:06] | I’m never gonna miss one of these ever again. | 我再也不会错过任何一次茶话会了 |
| [21:10] | So now that the kids know about my blog, | 既然孩子们都发现了我的博客 |
| [21:13] | things are gonna be different around here, | 事情也开始变得不一样了 |
| [21:15] | but in the ways that count, they’re back to normal. | 但是从结果上来说 这其实算恢复正常 |
| [21:18] | You need a comma between “count” and “they’re.” | 你在“结果”和“他们”之间要加上个逗号 |
| [21:22] | You know, I’ve been thinking about the name for your blog. | 我一直都在给你的博客想名字 |
| [21:25] | What about “see Stan blog about Tyler’s hair”? | “来看斯坦怎么写泰勒的发型” 这个怎么样 |
| [21:29] | Because I want you to be successful. | 我想给你拉点粉丝 |
| [21:31] | And since I am going to be eight soon, | 我都就要八岁了 |
| [21:34] | maybe we should hold off on publishing that rainbow farts thing. | 或许我们可以把彩虹屁的事情推迟一点再发布 |
| [21:37] | Wait, was that? Yeah, hold off on it. | 等等 那是什么 对啊 推迟一点 |
| [21:42] | Well, mostly back to normal. | 只能说基本恢复正常吧 |