时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:07] | I’m running to be the next president of the Student Union | 我要竞选下届的学生会主席 |
[00:10] | and I’m thinking of being Labour. | 正在考虑代表工党竞选 |
[00:10] | 工党: 英国两大执政党之一 | |
[00:13] | What’s in it for me? Sell it to me. | 这对我能有什么好处 具体给我说说 |
[00:16] | Normally, WE vet candidates, | 通常来说 是我们审查候选人的资格 |
[00:18] | rather than have the candidates vet us. | 而不是让候选人审查我们的资格 |
[00:20] | Oh, right. Typical politician, twisting everything around. | 好吧 典型政客作风 颠倒黑白 |
[00:23] | Are you familiar with our policies? | 你熟悉我们的政策吗 |
[00:25] | You need to be able to articulate | 你要有能力详细阐明 |
[00:26] | why people should vote for us. | 为什么大家应该给我们投上一票 |
[00:28] | Oh, right. | 好吧好吧 |
[00:29] | So, it’s all about good grammar and elocution lessons. | 所以说这都是关于高深语法和雄辩之词 |
[00:33] | I should join the Tories, is that what you’re saying? | 我应该加入保守党的 你是这个意思吗 |
[00:33] | 保守党: 英国的老牌大党 出过丘吉尔和撒切尔夫人等著名首相 | |
[00:34] | – I’m not saying that. Now you’re twisting MY words. – Am I? | – 我没这么说 你在曲解我的意思 – 我有吗 |
[00:37] | Or are YOU twisting my words? | 还是你在曲解我的意思 |
[00:39] | No. | 我没有 |
[00:42] | You’re twisting my words. | 是你在曲解我的意思 |
[00:43] | You see, this is why everyone thinks | 你看 这就是大家都觉得 |
[00:44] | Blair’s a cunt. Forget it. | 布莱尔是个二逼的原因 拉倒吧 |
[00:46] | Obviously, I’ve got a problem with the whole… | 显然 对于这种反欧洲什么的 |
[00:49] | anti-Europe thing | 我一向是很有意见的 |
[00:51] | cos I like to go to Amsterdam a lot. | 我还是很想去趟阿姆斯特丹的 |
[00:52] | Also, I hate everything about you. | 另外 你们的一切我都极其看不顺眼 |
[00:56] | I just came in to have a go. | 我只是随便进来试一下的 |
[00:58] | Plus, I love KFC. | 还有 我喜欢肯德基 |
[01:01] | Guessing that’s a bit of a deal-breaker? | 这一点基本上就定了我没戏了吧 |
[01:05] | Nah. | 没门儿 |
[01:29] | 新生六居客 | |
[01:47] | Candice, um… | 坎蒂丝 那啥 |
[01:49] | I have something to ask you. | 我有事情想问你一下 |
[01:53] | Would you be interested in… | 你有没有兴趣… |
[01:58] | getting me a yogurt from the fridge? | 帮我从冰箱拿盒酸奶 |
[02:00] | Can’t you just get it yourself? | 你自己不长手啊 |
[02:02] | Yes. | 好吧 |
[02:07] | This is the drawing room. | 这里是客厅 |
[02:11] | There’s a lot of slugs, | 这里到处都是鼻涕虫 |
[02:13] | but don’t worry, I’ll kill them. | 但是别担心 我会消灭掉它们的 |
[02:15] | And the shower’s blocked. | 另外淋浴被堵了 |
[02:18] | Pubes. | 阴毛 |
[02:19] | Howard’s probably. | 估计是霍华德的 |
[02:21] | But don’t worry. I’ll, er, de-pube it. | 不过没事儿 我会打扫干净的 |
[02:25] | TV, it’s got a wok in it. | 这电视里面嵌了口炒菜锅 |
[02:27] | I’ll probably chuck the TV. | 我大概会把电视机扔了 |
[02:28] | – Might keep the wok. – What’s going on? | – 不过估计会留下炒锅 – 怎么了 |
[02:30] | I’m selling the house. | 我打算卖了这房子 |
[02:32] | – What? – That’s right. I’m selling the house. | – 啥 – 你没听错 我要卖房子 |
[02:34] | This shitty university is full of people that don’t care about me. | 这破烂学校里的人全他妈不在乎我 |
[02:37] | So, from now on, I’m all about number one. | 所以从现在开始 我要把自己放在第一位 |
[02:39] | So, how’s that going to be different? | 所以有什么改变吗 |
[02:41] | Kindly pass the eviction notice on to Josie | 麻烦你们把搬离通知转述给乔茜 |
[02:43] | and He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named | 和那个我不想提的人 |
[02:45] | aka He-Who-Is-A-Massive-Shithead. | 即”宇宙无敌混蛋” |
[02:48] | They’re on day two of their relationship summit. | 今天是他们感情升温后热恋期开始的第二天 |
[02:50] | I overheard Kingsley doing that | 我不小心听到金斯利发出了那种 |
[02:52] | strangulated gargling thing | 类似于被勒著脖子漱口的声音 |
[02:53] | he does when he’s very stressed. It does not bode well. | 他只有压力山大时才会这样 不祥之兆啊 |
[02:56] | Good. Well, | 好事儿啊 太好了 |
[02:58] | I hope that she dumps him, he kills himself | 我希望她能甩了他 然后他自杀 |
[03:00] | and then she takes a piss on his corpse | 她就可以冲著他的尸体尿尿 |
[03:02] | because THAT is what he deserves. | 这才是他应得的下场 |
[03:04] | Well, I’ll be union president, | 我会成为学生会主席 |
[03:06] | so I’ll be getting paid and probably renting somewhere. | 就会有工资 然后大概找个别的地方租住 |
[03:08] | Well, no. I’ll be president of the union. | 不会的 我才会是学生会主席 |
[03:11] | You, er, don’t mind if I roach a little bit of your postcard, do you? | 你不介意我拿你的明信片卷根大麻抽抽吧 |
[03:17] | All right, Vod. You’ve had your fun. It’s all a big joke. | 好了 福德 玩笑也开了 你也该高兴了 |
[03:21] | Ah-ha, ah-ha-ha. | 哈哈 哈哈哈 |
[03:22] | But we both know that you’re not going to go through with this. | 但我们都知道你不可能进行到底的 |
[03:25] | You don’t stand a chance. | 你一点希望都没有的 |
[03:27] | You think I’m an idiot, don’t you? Well, if I’m an idiot | 你是不是觉得我是傻逼 要你觉得我是傻逼 |
[03:30] | how come we’re so close in the surveys? | 那为什么我们的调查结果这么接近 |
[03:33] | – Polls. They’re called polls. – Whatever. | – 民调 那叫民调 – 随便吧 |
[03:35] | And it’s not exactly MORI. | 而且这也不是正规的国际舆论调查公司的结果 |
[03:37] | It’s a website run by a man | 这只是一个自称为 |
[03:38] | who calls himself David Dimbledick | “大卫·高潮慢半拍”的人的个人网站 |
[03:40] | and uses a picture of a penis as a swingometer. | 而且选票指示器还是一个鸡鸡的形状 |
[03:45] | No-one will actually vote for you. No-one. | 没人会投票给你的 没一个人 |
[03:47] | Oh, right. What about you, Candice? | 行啊 你怎么看 坎蒂丝 |
[03:50] | You’ll vote for me, won’t you? | 你会为我投上一票的对吧 |
[03:52] | – No. – Why not? | – 不会 – 为什么 |
[03:54] | You don’t have any policies. | 你都没有竞选政策 |
[03:55] | Yeah, I do. Cheap chips. | 有的啊 降低薯条的价格 |
[03:57] | You have one policy. I don’t think one policy is enough. | 你只有一项政策 我觉得只有一项政策不够 |
[04:01] | What about you, Japes? | 那你呢 JP好哥们儿 |
[04:04] | You’ll vote for me, right? | 你会给我投一票的吧 |
[04:05] | No. | 不会 |
[04:07] | Because? | 因为什么 |
[04:09] | Because you owe me £1,000 in back rent. | 因为你欠租欠了一千镑了 |
[04:12] | Howard! | 霍华德 |
[04:14] | Democracy is an illusion. | 民主什么的都是浮云 |
[04:15] | I WILL be taking part in its ritualistic charade, | 我是会去走走这种形式主义的过场 |
[04:17] | but only in order to spoil my ballot paper | 但只是为了糟蹋一下选票 |
[04:20] | which I will do by making lists of contemporary human rights abuses, | 我会在上面列出当代社会践踏人权的事例 |
[04:23] | such as Facebook’s privacy settings. | 比如说脸谱网的隐私设置 |
[04:25] | Hey, babe, would you like some juice? | 亲爱哒 你要不要来点果汁 |
[04:27] | Oh, I’d love some. Can I get you some cereal? | 太好了 谢谢啦 我去给你整点麦片 |
[04:29] | Aw, hun, thanks! God, isn’t he great? | 亲 太谢谢了 额滴个神 这简直就是男神啊 |
[04:32] | Right. What’s happening? | 好吧 发生什么了 |
[04:33] | Nothing. We’re just happy. | 没什么 我们只是很开心 |
[04:35] | Oh. So, you broke up? | 就是说你们分手了 |
[04:37] | Hey, what about Sexy Mike? | 你觉得火辣迈克怎么样 |
[04:39] | Didn’t you quite like Sexy Mike? | 你不是一直很喜欢火辣迈克咩 |
[04:40] | Oh, God, yeah. And Big Dick Mike. | 是啊 还有大鸡鸡迈克 |
[04:42] | Oh, God, yeah. Who could forget Big Dick Mike? | 对啊 果断的 谁能忘得了大鸡鸡迈克 |
[04:44] | I don’t know cos I certainly haven’t. | 就是 反正我是一直无法忘怀 |
[04:47] | What about those girls in the record store? | 唱片店里的那些姑娘如何 |
[04:48] | You liked them, didn’t you? | 你当初不是很喜欢她们吗 |
[04:50] | “Watch out, ladies. The Pussyman’s on the prowl!” | “女士们注意了 采花大盗要随风潜入夜了” |
[04:52] | Ha! Yeah. Rrrrr! | 哈哈 那是 势不可挡啊 |
[04:54] | What the hairy hell is going on? | 这尼玛唱的是哪一出啊 |
[04:56] | Nothing. No biggie. | 没什么大不了的 |
[04:58] | We’ve just decided to have an open relationship. | 我们只是决定了我们之间会是开放性关系 |
[04:58] | 开放性关系: 恋爱中双方均可以自由和其他人发生性关系 | |
[05:02] | Oh. So, you’re available? | 是吗 所以说我现在又有机会了 |
[05:04] | I know it sounds incredibly bohemian and, | 我知道这听起来特别放荡不羁 |
[05:06] | well, actually, it is. | 事实上也确实如此 |
[05:09] | But we’ll still be going out. | 我们还是会出去约会的 |
[05:10] | We can just see other people if we want. | 只是在需要的时候 我们也可以勾搭别人 |
[05:12] | So, you’re available? | 所以我现在又有机会了 |
[05:13] | It’s like, why would you have the same dinner over and over again | 就好比是 为什么一辈子都要吃同一道菜 |
[05:16] | when you could sample a range of items from the sex mezze? | 为什么不试试各式各样的小份样品 来个啪啪啪拼盘 |
[05:19] | Hmm. Interesting. Like a kind of genital all-you-can-eat. | 听著很有意思啊 就像是滚床单滚到饱 |
[05:24] | Obviously, we’re going to fancy other people. That’s natural. | 我们当然都会对其他人有好感 这是天性 |
[05:27] | We’re young. | 我们还年轻 |
[05:28] | That doesn’t go away until you’re, like, I dunno, 29. | 至少大概在二十九岁之前都还算年轻吧 |
[05:31] | So, we’re doing the whole Scandinavian thing. | 所以我们要开始走北欧化路线 |
[05:34] | – What, serial killing? – Being free. | – 连环杀手 – 这是释放天性 |
[05:36] | You should not be messing with this. | 你们不该做这种尝试的 |
[05:39] | This is black-belt screw-jitsu. | 这就像是啪啪啪中的黑带一样难 |
[05:41] | Have you written up the rules? | 你们定下规矩了没 |
[05:43] | We don’t need rules. | 我们不需要规矩 |
[05:45] | So, you’re definitely available? | 所以我现在绝对是有机会了 |
[05:47] | Although I did say one rule should be that Josie can’t sleep with JP. | 不过我想提出一条 乔茜坚决不能和JP睡 |
[05:50] | Yeah, you do need rules | 你们得定点规矩 |
[05:51] | cos otherwise it’s fucking carnage. | 要不就会发展成滚床单大屠杀 |
[05:53] | It gets all, | 最后演变成 |
[05:54] | “He’s fucking her so I’m fucking him.” | “他上了这妹子 所以我要上这哥们儿” |
[05:57] | “He’s having a threesome with two other girls. Right. | “他和两个姑娘玩儿3P 好吧” |
[05:59] | “I’m having two threesomes with four other blokes.” | “那我就去找四个哥们儿玩两次3P” |
[06:01] | And before you know it, one of you | 在你意识到之前 你们之中的一个 |
[06:03] | is blowing a donkey in a car park full of truckers. | 就会在满是卡车司机的停车场给驴吹箫了 |
[06:08] | You need rules. | 无规矩不成方圆 |
[06:21] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
[06:23] | The open relationship. I’d like to apply for a position. | 开放性关系那事儿 我前来应聘一个席位 |
[06:26] | Er, it doesn’t really work like that. | 这事儿不是这么来的 |
[06:28] | Please, hear me out. | 拜托啦 听我说完 |
[06:29] | Take a seat. | 请坐 |
[06:35] | – I’ve prepared a brief PowerPoint presentation. – What? | – 我做了个简短的PPT来进行陈述 – 啊 |
[06:38] | Accessibility. | 可及性 |
[06:40] | I live only metres away from your bed, which means, | 我离你的床只有几米之遥 所以说 |
[06:42] | due to my unique position within the market place, | 我的地理位置决定了我在市场上的特殊地位 |
[06:46] | I can respond to your demands almost immediately. | 我能即刻响应你的需求 |
[06:49] | I can be in your bedroom, naked, in 18 seconds. | 我能在十八秒内 全裸著出现在你的卧室里 |
[06:54] | – That is pretty quick. – Familiarity. | – 那真是迅速哈 – 熟悉度 |
[06:57] | We’ve had sex before. We already have a good working relationship. | 我们之前就睡过 而且咱关系不错 |
[07:00] | – Reliability. – I orgasm or my money back? | – 可靠性 – 不高潮就不要钱 |
[07:03] | I can be trusted to deliver a quality product, | 即使环境艰难 截止期逼近 |
[07:06] | even under trying circumstances or on a tight deadline. | 我都能保证给出不错的活儿 |
[07:09] | I’ve got a proven track record. | 我有相关记录作证 |
[07:12] | Compatibility. | 适用性 |
[07:13] | I have a cock. | 我有根鸡鸡 |
[07:15] | You have a vagina. | 你有个洞洞 |
[07:18] | My cock works in your vagina. | 我的鸡鸡能在你的洞洞里开工 |
[07:20] | Therefore, I am Josie-compatible. | 所以说 我是乔茜适用型的 |
[07:24] | Forbidden Fruit. | 禁忌的果实 |
[07:26] | Kingsley says we can’t have sex with each other | 金斯利不许我们滚床单 |
[07:28] | which is all the more reason to have sex with each other | 这正是我们应该滚床单的最好理由 |
[07:31] | because as we all know, forbidden fruit… | 大家都知道 禁忌的果实 |
[07:34] | tastes the fruitiest. | 才最美味 |
[07:36] | So, in conclusion, I think that me and you are the perfect match. | 综上所述 我觉得我们俩是相当的适合 |
[07:41] | We’re like Fortnum and Mason | 我俩好比那”福特南和梅森” |
[07:41] | 福特南·梅森公司: 英国伦敦一家犬食品杂货公司 | |
[07:43] | or gull’s eggs and celery salt. | 或是”海鸥蛋和香芹盐” |
[07:43] | 香芹盐配半熟的海鸥蛋 辅以蛋黄酱是英国高档餐厅的一道菜 | |
[07:46] | So, I think if you drill down into my proposal | 所以我认为 如果你能仔细考虑我的提议 |
[07:50] | you’ll find there really is no downside. | 就能发现这是有百利而无一害的 |
[07:53] | – Thank you. – Look, | – 谢谢 – 听著 |
[07:54] | I’m touched by your PowerPoint presentation. | 虽然你做了个PPT很叫我感动 |
[07:59] | What girl wouldn’t be? | 是个妹子都会的吧 |
[08:01] | But I’m afraid I’m going to have to say no. | 但不好意思 我不答应 (十动然拒啊) |
[08:09] | 祝贺你 | |
[08:10] | That slide only really works if you’d said yes. | 这张幻灯片是你答应了才有意义来著 |
[08:34] | Candice… | 坎蒂丝 |
[08:35] | I know I have missed my opportunity to be with you | 我知道自己已经错失了和你在一起的机会 |
[08:38] | because I am stupid and pathetic | 这只能怨我自己愚蠢 可悲 |
[08:41] | and a coward and self-destructive | 懦弱 还有自毁倾向 |
[08:43] | and I was rude to you about the party | 而且为了趴体的事情 |
[08:44] | when I shouldn’t have been, | 我还对你很不礼貌 我错了 |
[08:46] | but the fact is… | 但其实 |
[08:48] | I actually like you… | 我喜欢你… |
[08:51] | a lot. | 超级喜欢的 |
[08:52] | So would you please not kiss Goth Gary outside my window. | 所以请你别在我窗外跟哥特·盖里打啵儿了好吗 |
[08:55] | We weren’t kissing. His lip-ring got caught on my earring. | 我们没在打啵儿 他的舌环跟我耳环缠一起了 |
[09:00] | I thought you were having | 我还以为你俩来了个 |
[09:00] | a long, erotic kiss. | 又长又让人”性”致勃勃的大啵儿 |
[09:02] | No. We were having a long, un-erotic tussle, | 没啊 我们只是来了场又长又索然无味的扭打 |
[09:04] | followed by a very short, un-erotic tearing of my ear cartilage. | 之后来了个短暂而索然无味的撕扯 我耳骨都要扯裂了 |
[09:10] | But you are going out? | 你这是要去约会吗 |
[09:11] | No. I thought about it, but it didn’t seem right. | 我本来是想去的来著 但现在看来还是别去了 |
[09:15] | Then… | 那… |
[09:17] | Then… | 那… |
[09:19] | would you go out with me? | 你想跟我去约会吗 |
[09:22] | Yeah. | 好啊 |
[09:23] | – Really? – Yeah. I’d like that. | – 真的吗 – 嗯 我觉得这样挺不错的 |
[09:26] | OK. | 好的 |
[09:29] | Great. | 太棒了 |
[09:31] | I don’t know what to do now so I’m going to go back in my room. | 我不知道现在该干嘛 所以我先回房间去了 |
[09:38] | Seriously, were you dropped on your head as a child? | 说真的 你小时候脑子被撞过吗 |
[09:41] | I’m not some hick from Didsbury or Timperley. | 我不是从迪斯伯里或是廷珀利来的土包子 |
[09:41] | 迪斯伯里和廷珀利分别为英格兰的小城市和郊区地带 | |
[09:44] | I’m from London | 哥是伦敦来的 |
[09:45] | where they have all the jobs and the money. You know, London, | 在那儿工作不愁 钱包鼓鼓 伦敦 你懂吗 |
[09:48] | where they film the helicopter shots for The Apprentice | 《飞黄腾达》的航拍镜头都会在那儿取景 |
[09:51] | and they film the rest of The Apprentice. | 这剧的其他镜头也都会在那儿拍 |
[09:53] | My point is, I know about business, so sort it out. | 我想说这事儿我也懂 赶快把它搞定 |
[09:57] | Jacket potato, please. With cheese. | 一份杰克薯仔 加起司酱 |
[09:59] | Yes, I have taken the work out of the television | 是的 我已经在电视上打广告了 |
[10:03] | which means now it’s time that you up keep your end of the bargain | 也就是说 现在该你恪守承诺 达成交易 |
[10:06] | and get me some viewings. Goodbye. | 多给我找些看房的买家了 再见 |
[10:10] | J-penis, How goes it? | 大鸡鸡JP 怎么样啦 |
[10:12] | I’m standing as the Tory candidate. | 我现在代表保守党竞选 |
[10:14] | The first steps on the inevitable road to Number Ten. | 这是迈向唐宁街十号必经之路上的第一步 |
[10:14] | 唐宁街十号: 英国首相官邸 也代表英国首相 | |
[10:17] | Well, not sure I want a career in politics, really. | 我真不知道自己是否想要进入政坛 |
[10:20] | But it keeps the old man happy. | 不过这会让我家那老东西笑开花的 |
[10:24] | Well, of course I can count on your vote. | 当然了 我还能指望你给投上一票 |
[10:26] | – No. – Sorry, what’s that? I thought for a moment you said, “No.” | – 不可能 – 啥 你刚是说不可能吗 |
[10:29] | That’s right. I don’t do anything for anyone any more. | 没错 我不会再为谁做什么事了 |
[10:32] | I’m all about number one. | 老子自己就是第一名 |
[10:34] | Dude, that is EXACTLY why I’m standing. | 老兄 这正是我代表保守党的原因啊 |
[10:37] | I represent everyone who’s only interested in themselves. | 我就是代表那些只对自己感兴趣的人 |
[10:40] | Can’t talk. Got a potato. | 不跟你说了 吃东西去 |
[10:42] | Laters. | 回聊啊 |
[10:44] | – But… – No! | – 可是… – 不可能 |
[10:49] | I can get another ticket to Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds. | 我可以再搞一张尼克·凯夫和坏种子乐队的票 |
[10:49] | 尼克·凯夫: 澳大利亚摇滚艺人 曾担任坏种子乐队主唱 | |
[10:52] | I thought, bit of a novelty, you might like to come. | 我觉得这种古典型的 你应该会喜欢 |
[10:57] | Yeah. Um, I dunno… | 其实我也不知道啦 |
[11:00] | because you know I don’t like your music. | 你也知道 我不太喜欢你那些音乐 |
[11:02] | Yeah, just give it a try. | 来试一下吧 |
[11:03] | Have a listen. | 听听看 |
[11:11] | What do you think? | 你觉得怎么样 |
[11:14] | – I don’t like it. – It’s only just started. | – 不好听 – 这才刚刚开始 |
[11:20] | Oh, I still don’t like it. | 好吧 还是觉得不好听 |
[11:21] | Wait till the chorus kicks in. | 再等等 听听主旋律 |
[11:29] | – I don’t like it. – Why don’t you like it? | – 我不喜欢 – 你为啥不喜欢啊 |
[11:31] | It sounds like something that would be played at a hobo’s funeral | 这歌听起来就像是在一流浪汉的葬礼上表演的曲子 |
[11:35] | by other hobos. | 而且还是由其他流浪汉来演奏的 |
[11:38] | Um, let me play you another track. | 那我给你换一首听听看 |
[11:45] | – Yeah, OK. This is better. – See? | – 这个好些了 – 我就说吧 |
[11:50] | But I don’t like it. | 但我还是不喜欢 |
[11:52] | Um, please don’t make me go. I will self-harm. | 千万别让我去那演唱会 我会自残的 |
[11:55] | Thanks for asking, though. | 不管怎样 还是谢谢你的好意啦 |
[12:00] | Are you interested in safeguarding the student hardship fund? | 你对”保障学生救济金”的问题感兴趣吗 |
[12:04] | Because… you should be. | 应该会有兴趣的啊 |
[12:05] | I mean, I don’t want to sound overly earnest | 我不想显得太过郑重其事 |
[12:07] | or hectoring, but this is a serious issue and… | 或虚张声势 但这是个严肃的话题 而且 |
[12:09] | you need to engage with it. | 你得参与才行啊 |
[12:11] | We need to enter into a dialogue and have a mature debate. | 我们得好好谈谈 进行充分辩论 |
[12:14] | Wanker. | 蠢货 |
[12:17] | Hi, Oregon. Oh. How’s it going? | 嗨 俄勒冈 怎么样了 |
[12:19] | Great. Really great. | 挺好的 真挺好的 |
[12:20] | I think I’m really connecting with people. | 我觉得自己与人相谈甚欢呢 |
[12:22] | I’m hearing a lot of people are saying they’re going to vote for Vod. | 我听很多人说他们要把票投给福德 |
[12:25] | Vod is a joke candidate. Ignore her. | 福德就是来搞笑的好吗 别鸟她 |
[12:28] | Oregon, you have to take Vod seriously. | 俄勒冈 你可别不把福德当回事儿 |
[12:33] | What? That? | 啥 就是那个吗 |
[12:34] | THAT’S not the problem. | 那不是什么问题 |
[12:37] | THIS is the problem. | 这个才是问题 |
[12:40] | 福德小队 福德就是上帝 | |
[12:41] | 万能之神福德 | |
[12:42] | 福德和薯条政策 | |
[12:44] | Oh, shit. | 卧槽 |
[12:46] | Vod is God! | 福德就是上帝 |
[12:46] | 福德女神 | |
[12:51] | Right. Ask me another question. | 好了 换个问题问我 |
[12:53] | Is binge drinking in the union a concern | 学生会里有酗酒的问题吗 |
[12:55] | and if so, what do you propose to do about it? | 如果有 你觉得该采取什么措施 |
[12:57] | Cheap chips. Another. | 降低薯条价格 换个问题 |
[12:59] | If there was a conflict between the union and the university | 如果你主管的学生会与学校起了冲突 |
[13:03] | when you were in charge, how would you resolve it? | 你会如何解决 |
[13:05] | Cheap chips. | 降低薯条价格 |
[13:06] | Yeah, we don’t really need to rehearse any more, | 好吧 咱真心没必要再彩排下去了 |
[13:08] | not if you’re going to say the same thing to every question. | 你每个问题的回答都是一模一样的 |
[13:12] | Hey. So, did you find anyone to go with? | 嘿 你找到伴儿陪你去了吗 |
[13:16] | No. Can you believe that? | 没呢 你信吗 |
[13:18] | Yes. Yes, I can. So, are you still going to go? | 信啊 我太信了 那你还是要去吗 |
[13:21] | Well, yeah, obviously. | 去啊 当然要去了 |
[13:22] | This is Nick Cave we’re talking about, not… Beady Eye. | 是尼克·凯夫啊 又不是泡泡眼乐队 |
[13:22] | 泡泡眼乐队: 利亚姆·加拉格尔与绿洲乐队旧部所组建的摇滚乐队 | |
[13:25] | Yeah, listen, by the way… | 对了 顺便一提 |
[13:27] | Sam will be there. | 山姆也会去 |
[13:28] | Obviously, we’re not going together. | 很显然我们不是一起去的 |
[13:30] | She’s going. I’m going. | 但是她要去 我也要去 |
[13:31] | We’re just two people going to the same place at the same time. | 所以我们只是同时去往同个地方而已 |
[13:34] | But we’re going separately. | 但我们是分开去的 |
[13:36] | Although even if we were going together, | 就算我和她一起去了 |
[13:37] | we’re in an open relationship, so it’d be fine. | 我和你是开放性关系 所以也没啥问题吧 |
[13:39] | But nothing’s going to happen, so it’s doubly fine | 但我和她之间什么都没有 肯定没问题 |
[13:43] | and, um, I think it’s fine so… | 我觉得没啥问题 |
[13:47] | Do you think it’s fine? | 你觉得呢 |
[13:51] | Yeah. I guess it’s fine. | 嗯 是啊 没问题啦 |
[13:53] | Oh, great. God, we’re being so mature, aren’t we? | 太好了 老天 咱都是这么成熟的人了是吧 |
[14:12] | So, are you enjoying the date? | 你喜欢这次的约会吗 |
[14:21] | Are you going to say anything on the date? | 你不想说点什么吗 |
[14:25] | I’m scared to, in case I ruin the date. | 我不敢说 怕破坏了兴致 |
[14:29] | You’re going to ruin the date if you don’t say anything. | 你啥也不说才破坏兴致呢 |
[14:36] | I’m not an improviser. | 我不会即兴表演 |
[14:40] | I don’t riff. | 也不会即兴作诗 |
[14:44] | I couldn’t even name you an improviser off the top of my head. | 我甚至一时半会都想不出哪个即兴表演者 |
[14:50] | Eddie Izzard? | 艾迪·伊扎德算吗 |
[14:50] | 艾迪·伊扎德: 英国著名喜剧演员 编剧 | |
[14:54] | I don’t know what to say. | 我不知道该说些什么 |
[14:59] | We could do some flirting? | 要不我们来调调情吧 |
[15:03] | Yes! OK, then. | 好啊 那开始吧 |
[15:09] | – You look nice. – So do you. | – 你真好看 – 你也是 |
[15:12] | – So, that’s flirting done, then! Tick. – Tick. | – 调情成功 打个勾 – 打勾 |
[15:17] | What next? | 下一个呢 |
[15:19] | Um, we could maybe go for an ironic public display of affection? | 要不我们也来玩玩PDA 卿卿我我 |
[15:19] | PDA: 在公众场合示爱 | |
[15:33] | – Tick. – Tick. | – 搞定 – 搞定 |
[15:36] | We’re on a roll. | 我们进展得很顺利啊 |
[15:39] | What next? | 下一个呢 |
[15:42] | Maybe I could invite you back to my place for a coffee? | 要不我请你去我那儿喝杯咖啡 |
[15:46] | Like Joey from Friends. | 就像《老友记》里的乔伊那样 |
[15:46] | 乔伊常用咖啡馆的饮料和松饼等食品 免费招待来咖啡馆的美女 | |
[15:51] | I don’t know who that is. | 我不知道那是谁 |
[15:55] | What is the most important issue facing the student union today? | 现在学生会面临的最重要的问题是什么 |
[15:58] | Two words. | 两个词概括 |
[16:00] | Cheap chips. | 薯条降价 |
[16:03] | Cheap chips! | 薯条降价 |
[16:05] | I disagree with that totally. | 我完全不同意 |
[16:07] | Oh, here we go. | 又来了 |
[16:09] | I’ve done a costing of Vod’s cheap chips policy | 我对福德的薯条降价政策做个了成本计算 |
[16:12] | and it doesn’t add up. | 结果显示并不合理 |
[16:13] | If as she proposes, she reduces | 如果正如她所提议 |
[16:16] | the price of French fries, curly fries, | 把炸薯条 炸薯圈 |
[16:18] | Denver fries, spicy wedges | 丹佛薯条以及辣薯条的价格 |
[16:20] | by 50%, | 都降低百分之五十 |
[16:22] | this will cost the union 500 pounds a day. | 学生会每日得为此支付五百英镑 |
[16:35] | 你找山姆玩 我找隔壁诺亚玩 | |
[16:41] | 准备和山姆去喝点东西 爱你 | |
[17:10] | 我还和诺亚在一起呢 你怎么样 | |
[17:26] | That’s Vod’s room. | 那是福德的房间 |
[17:27] | Vod’s hot, but I don’t think we’re ever going to bang now. | 她很性感 但我觉得我们不会再一起滚床单了 |
[17:33] | Oregon’s room. Also hot. | 那是俄勒冈的房间 她也超辣的 |
[17:37] | Although again, somehow we’re never going to bang. | 但是我们永远没机会滚床单了 |
[17:44] | That’s Josie’s room. Again, hot. | 那是乔茜的房间 同样是个辣妞 |
[17:49] | And lovely. | 还很可爱 |
[17:51] | Sometimes I wonder | 有时候我会想 |
[17:52] | whether we’ll end up living together in Notting Hill. | 我们要不要在诺丁山上厮守终身呢 |
[17:55] | Me as Chancellor of the Exchequer, | 我是财政大臣 |
[17:58] | her as the daughter of a seamstress done good. | 她是个好裁缝的女儿 |
[18:01] | I think she might be my Kate Middleton. | 我觉得她就是我的凯特·米德尔顿 |
[18:01] | 凯特·米德尔顿: 英国威廉王子的妻子 平民家族出生的王妃 | |
[18:14] | I love candles. They’re so romantic. | 我喜欢蜡烛 感觉很浪漫 |
[18:17] | I have them in case of earthquakes | 我留著它们以防不时之需 |
[18:19] | or meteor strikes | 比如发生地震 流星撞击地球 |
[18:21] | or local authority mismanagement. | 或者地方管理不善之类的 |
[18:33] | Oh. I think I just stood on a snail. | 我觉得我踩到了一只蜗牛 |
[18:36] | OK. Just, er, wait there. Don’t move. Don’t leave. | 好的 你在这等一下 别动 别离开 |
[18:39] | Or don’t break-up with me. | 也别跟我分手 |
[18:43] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
[18:45] | Just putting some more salt down around the bed | 在床周围再撒些盐 |
[18:47] | so the slugs can’t get in. | 这些反应迟钝的家伙就进不来了 |
[18:50] | OK. Now we can go back to being romantic. | 好了 现在我们可以继续浪漫了 |
[19:00] | I want you to give me everything. | 我要你全部都给我 |
[19:01] | Yes. | 好 |
[19:03] | Of course. | 这是当然的啦 |
[19:05] | Meaning? | 不过是啥意思啊 |
[19:06] | I want to do it in all the positions. | 我想把每种体位都来一遍 |
[19:08] | Missionary, modified missionary, | 传教士式 传教士式升级版 |
[19:10] | non-missionary, everything. | 非传教士式 所有姿势都要 |
[19:12] | OK. Listen, I’ve got a request as well. | 好 我也有个要求 |
[19:14] | Erm, can we do it twice? | 我们可以做两次吗 |
[19:16] | For the first time, can we do it as a kind of throat clearer, | 第一次先来点前奏 深喉清洁式什么的 |
[19:19] | a rough sketch of, you know, the areas you’ve just proposed. | 粗略地过一遍你刚刚说的那些招式 |
[19:22] | And then, you know, just get it out the way, then have a breather | 兴奋之后来个中场休息 |
[19:25] | and then do it again, but this time, do it with proper colouring in | 接著再来 但这次就换点花样 |
[19:29] | or a fairly detailed cross-hatching of said areas at least. | 至少可以把刚刚提到的那些穿插进行 |
[19:32] | Sounds good. | 听起来不错 |
[19:36] | – Are you ready? – I’m ready. | – 准备好了吗 – 好了 |
[19:38] | Then let battle commence. | 尽情地翻云覆雨吧 |
[19:41] | And this is me… | 这就是我的小天地 |
[19:47] | This is my house flag. | 这是我们的房旗 |
[19:50] | It’s a trident with dongs for prongs. | 是由三个鸡鸡组成的三叉戟 |
[19:54] | The big dong is mine, obviously. | 一看就知道 最大那个是我的 |
[19:58] | Then that’s Kingsley’s and the weird, | 其次是金斯利的 这个又小又奇怪 |
[20:02] | wonky, little, misshapen one is Howard’s. | 歪歪扭扭还有点畸形的是霍华德的 |
[20:04] | I painted that at the beginning of term. | 这是我刚开学的时候画的 |
[20:07] | I was happy then. | 那时候我很开心 |
[20:09] | We were friends then. | 那时候我们还是朋友 |
[20:19] | I should go. | 我该走了 |
[20:21] | Don’t go. | 别走啊 |
[20:24] | I’m gonna go. | 我要走了 |
[20:29] | 我还和山姆在一起 可能会晚点回来 | |
[20:33] | Although, I could stay. I am in an open relationship. | 但也可以留下来 姐现在可是开放性关系呢 |
[20:37] | Exactly. You’re in an open relationship. | 就是啊 你现在是开放性关系呢 |
[20:43] | 特意告诉你一声的 | |
[20:47] | She texted me to say she was going round Noah’s house, | 她发短信告诉我 她在诺亚那儿 |
[20:50] | but she hasn’t texted me to say what she’s doing at Noah’s house. | 但她没说在诺亚家做什么 |
[20:52] | I mean, what if she’s sleeping with him right now? | 如果他俩现在正睡一起 |
[20:54] | Shouldn’t she tell me that? | 她难道不应该吱一声吗 |
[20:56] | So, she should text you during sex? | 所以她应该边滚床单 边给你发短信对吧 |
[20:58] | “I’m humping someone else right now. | “我正和别人啪啪啪呢 |
[21:00] | Smiley face, smiley face, O face.” | 很开心 来啦[高潮了]” |
[21:02] | Well, no, obviously not that. | 当然不是了 |
[21:04] | Although, maybe it could be that. | 不过也可以啊 |
[21:06] | Or she could text me just before. | 或者她在做前吱一声也行啊 |
[21:08] | “Can you just hold that erection | “你先hold住了 |
[21:09] | ’cause I have to text my boyfriend you have an erection?” | 我给男朋友发个短信 告诉他你硬了” |
[21:12] | That sort of thing? | 像这样吗 |
[21:12] | I just think it would be good to know. | 我只是觉得 知道了会比较好 |
[21:14] | You know? I mean… I’m now thinking I won’t sleep with you | 你明白吗 就像我在想我不能和你睡 |
[21:16] | because she might not sleep with Noah. | 因为她可能没有和诺亚睡 |
[21:17] | I don’t want to hurt her feelings. | 我不想伤害她 |
[21:18] | But if she does sleep with Noah, | 但如果她和诺亚睡了 |
[21:20] | I probably DO need to sleep with you so I don’t hurt her feelings. | 为了不伤害她 我想我也得和你睡 |
[21:23] | The key to making an open relationship work is communication. | 开放性关系的关键就是沟通 |
[21:26] | You do realise you’re saying this all out loud? | 你有意识到你刚才大声说出了这番话吗 |
[21:28] | Yeah. I’m not taking anything for granted. | 是啊 我不觉得什么事是理所当然的 |
[21:30] | It’s just, I like you and you like me | 比如我喜欢你 你也喜欢我 |
[21:31] | and we’re definitely in a position to explore that more, | 我们当然就可以进一步相互了解 |
[21:34] | if you want to and I want to | 如果你情我愿 |
[21:36] | and I think I probably do want to, if you want to. | 我想我可能是想进一步了解你的 如果你也愿意 |
[21:43] | OK. I still haven’t heard from her, so I’m going to assume | 好吧 她还是没有消息 我觉得 |
[21:45] | she is sleeping with Noah. | 她应该已经和诺亚滚床单了吧 |
[21:48] | Which is fine. Totally fine. | 这倒没什么 完全没问题 |
[21:51] | So, why don’t I come back to yours? | 那我去你那怎么样 |
[22:05] | ‘You have no new messages.’ | “您没有新信息” |
[22:22] | Josie? | 乔茜 |
[22:24] | What’s the matter? | 你怎么啦 |
[22:26] | Everything’s just falling apart. | 一切都完了 |
[22:34] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
[22:36] | I’ve taken the house off the market. | 我已经把信息从房屋交易所撤掉了 |
[22:38] | I’m not selling it. | 我不卖了 |
[22:40] | I don’t mean like that. Everything’s falling apart with Kingsley. | 我说的不是那件事 我和金斯利没戏了 |
[22:46] | He’s sleeping with Sam. | 他这会儿在和山姆滚床单 |
[22:50] | I hate him. | 我恨他 |
[23:07] | Do you want a chip? | 来根薯条不 |
[23:08] | – No. – Go on have a chip. | – 不要 – 来一根吧 |
[23:10] | – No, I don’t want a chip. – Chips are great. | – 我不想吃 – 多好吃呀 |
[23:12] | They’re made of chopped up unicorns and have magical properties | 它们可是由奇妙的独角兽做的 有神奇的魔力 |
[23:15] | and solve all the world’s problems. | 可以解决世界上所有的难题 |
[23:17] | Why won’t you answer my question? | 你干嘛不回答我的问题 |
[23:20] | Yeah, it’s annoying, isn’t it? | 是啊 很闹心对吧 |
[23:23] | Why did you pick on me? | 你干嘛老找我茬 |
[23:25] | I didn’t pick on YOU, I picked on your policies. | 我不是找你的茬 而是不满你的政策 |
[23:28] | They’re stupid. | 太傻了 |
[23:29] | Are you saying I’m stupid? Is that what you’re saying? | 你是在说老娘傻吗 你是这意思吗 |
[23:33] | What is this really about? | 那到底是为什么啊 |
[23:37] | I’m pissed off because I care about this | 我生气是因为我在乎这场竞选 |
[23:40] | and you don’t give a shit. | 但你却根本不在乎 |
[23:41] | You’re going to abandon it, | 还打算抛弃它 |
[23:43] | just like you abandon everything else, | 就像你抛弃其他所有一切那样 |
[23:44] | just like you abandoned your husband, | 你抛弃了你的丈夫 |
[23:46] | just like you abandoned your mum | 抛弃了你老妈 |
[23:48] | and just like you abandoned me on holiday. | 还在假期时抛弃了我 |
[23:51] | Oh, my God. Are you still going on about the holiday?! | 天啊 你还在为假期的事生气呢 |
[23:55] | So, I got off with a hot Mexican guy | 我跟一超帅的墨西哥小伙先走一步 |
[23:57] | and left you on your own for a bit. | 就单独留你在那一会会儿 |
[23:59] | I mean, what is the big deal? | 这才多大点事儿啊 |
[24:01] | You’re my wingman. | 你是我的好帮手啊 |
[24:04] | I’m not your wingman. | 姐才不是你的好帮手呢 |
[24:06] | And I’m not your sidekick. | 也不是你的啥好搭档 |
[24:08] | And if this carries on, maybe I’m not your friend. | 再这么下去 我们可能连朋友都没得做了 |
[24:12] | Bit harsh. | 太狠了吧 |
[24:16] | – So, the PowerPoint worked then? – What?! | – 这么说是那PPT奏效了吗 – 啥 |
[24:18] | Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The PowerPoint worked. | 对对对 那PPT有点用 |
[24:20] | The PowerPoint totally worked. | 那PPT特别有用 |
[24:22] | And now, I want a different kind of PowerPoint, | 现在 我想要种不一样的PPT展示 |
[24:25] | the PowerPoint in your pants. | 用你裤裆里的家伙展示给我看吧 |
[24:27] | I must warn you that kind of talk massively turns me on. | 我得提醒你 说这样的话会让我蠢蠢欲动哦 |
[24:31] | Yeah? Good. Well, | 是吗 那正好啊 |
[24:31] | hump me with your PowerPoint. | 快用你那PPT讲解员小弟弟让我欲仙欲死吧 |
[24:34] | Oh, yeah! I will. | 好啊 我会的 |
[24:36] | I will hump you with my PowerPoint. | 我会用我的小弟弟好好服侍你的 |
[24:49] | ‘You have no new messages. | “您没有新信息” |
[24:51] | Press one to return to the menu.’ | “返回主菜单请按一号键” |
[24:59] | – Should we? – Er, yeah. | – 到底该不该这么做啊 – 应该啊 |
[25:02] | I mean, I want to. Do I? | 我是说 我想这样…吗 |
[25:03] | No, I do! | 对 我特别想 |
[25:05] | No, no, no. You’re right. | 等等 你说得对 |
[25:07] | I can’t… I can’t do this. | 我不能这样 |
[25:10] | But you’ve got a massive erection. | 但你已经硬了啊 |
[25:12] | Yes, I do. | 那必须的嘛 |
[25:17] | No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. | 不行不行 等等 我不能这么做 我做不到 |
[25:22] | What the hell is wrong with me?! | 我他妈到底是怎么了 |
[25:24] | Shit. What if I told you that I don’t think I can do this? | 我去 如果我说我没法做下去了 你怎么想 |
[25:28] | Um, well, I’d feel frustrated and horny | 我会很沮丧 任欲火焚身 |
[25:32] | and angry and guilty but… | 我会生气 也感到愧疚 但是 |
[25:34] | yeah, maybe for the best. | 或许这样最好 |
[25:39] | God. | 天啊 |
[25:41] | Maybe we could just diddle each other. | 要不我们帮对方做手活儿好了 |
[25:44] | No, you’re right. We can’t even diddle each other. | 不行 你说得对 我们连帮对方做手活儿都不行 |
[25:48] | God, having a conscience is so shit. | 天啊 良心真是个该死的东西 |
[25:50] | It’s like being Catholic. | 感觉都跟天主教徒 |
[25:52] | Or a woman. | 或是女人一样了 |
[25:54] | Fucking awful. | 真他妈弱爆了 |
[25:57] | No offence. | 没说你 |
[26:08] | 你还在隔壁吗 | |
[26:21] | 你和诺亚睡了吗 | |
[27:51] | Morning. | 早啊 |
[27:54] | – I thought you’d left. – Why would I do that? | – 我还以为你走了呢 – 我干嘛要走啊 |
[28:00] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[28:03] | By the way, you’ve got a slug on your bum. | 对了 你屁股上有只鼻涕虫 |
[28:07] | Of course. Suddenly, everyone wants a piece of my hot ass. | 那当然 看来突然间 我的电臀很受欢迎啊 |
[28:16] | So, breakfast… | 那你是要吃早餐呢 |
[28:19] | or sex? | 还是要吃我 |
[28:33] | And now with her final statement, | 下面请独立低价薯条党的 |
[28:35] | Violet Nordstrom, Independent Cheap Chips Party. | 维尔利特·诺斯崇做最后陈述 |
[28:46] | Yeah, so… | 好的 |
[28:48] | there’s some new policies that I want to talk about. | 下面我来谈谈几个新政策 |
[28:54] | If I get elected, I will be burning all the books in the library, | 如果我当选 我会烧掉图书馆里所有的书 |
[28:59] | starting with the men, but then doing all the women as well. | 从男作家的开始烧 然后再烧女作家的 |
[29:03] | Wankers. | 那群傻逼 |
[29:11] | I… I’ll be banging CCTV into every dorm | 我会在每间宿舍装上监控摄像头 |
[29:17] | and then publishing a weekly report | 每周公开一份报告 |
[29:19] | of who’s screwing who, just for a laugh. | 看看都有哪些人在乱搞 这是为了娱乐大众 |
[29:25] | What the fuck are you doing? | 你他妈在干嘛啊 |
[29:27] | I’m trying to get me NOT elected, | 我想让他们不要选我 |
[29:28] | so you can get elected, dickhead. | 这样你就能当选了 笨蛋 |
[29:32] | Oh. Well… | 好吧 |
[29:34] | – Right. Thanks. Um… – Seriously though, | – 谢你了 – 不过说真的呢 |
[29:36] | what do I need to do get them to stop liking me? | 怎么才能让他们不喜欢我啊 |
[29:39] | Take a shit on the pool table? | 是要在台球桌上便便吗 |
[29:42] | Two words… | 只需要说两个词 |
[29:44] | homophobic rant. | 反对同性恋 |
[29:50] | Right. Don’t forget about the election. | 好吧 别忘了竞选的事儿 |
[29:54] | I’m cleaning the house so that we can have a party for the winner. | 我得打扫下屋子 为选举获胜的人搞个趴体 |
[29:58] | But first, I’m gonna be snorting | 但首先 哥得先来点 |
[30:00] | a schnozz-full of grade A Colombian gack, | 上好的哥伦比亚货 |
[30:03] | then scrubbing this mother down. | 然后把这些都他妈的擦洗干净 |
[30:05] | Feel free to have some if you want. | 想要的话随便拿 |
[30:07] | Thanks. I’ll just stick to toast. | 谢谢 我还是不用了 |
[30:19] | OK. OK. What about this? | 好了 好了 那这个呢 |
[30:22] | I will… | 我会… |
[30:24] | take down all the disabled ramps. | 把残疾人通道全都拆掉 |
[30:28] | Yeah! Fuck, yeah! | 好样的 妈的 |
[30:29] | Am I allowed to vote for another candidate? No? | 我可以给其他候选人投票不 不行吗 |
[30:35] | All right. Here goes. | 好吧 豁出去了 |
[30:38] | My last policy… | 我的最后一项政策 |
[30:41] | is one for the gays. | 是针对那些同性恋的 |
[30:43] | This is what I think about the gays. | 这就是我对同性恋的态度 |
[30:53] | So, you didn’t do anything with Sam? | 那你和山姆什么都没有发生咯 |
[30:57] | No. | 没 |
[30:59] | I mean, I could have done, obviously. | 我是说 我确实可以做点啥的 |
[31:01] | But then I just thought, “Is it worth it?” | 但是接著我想 “这到底值不值得” |
[31:04] | “No, it’s not worth it.” | “这不值得我去这样做” |
[31:07] | And you didn’t do anything with Noah? | 那么 你和诺亚之间发生什么了吗 |
[31:09] | With Noah? God no. | 和诺亚吗 当然没啦 |
[31:11] | That was never going to happen. | 我们俩之间不会发生什么的 |
[31:12] | Great. So everything’s fine. | 那太好了 这么说一切正常 |
[31:13] | We’re all fine. We can just go back to normal. | 我们俩之间也没有问题 我们可以回归正轨了 |
[31:16] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[31:20] | Except everything’s not fine, is it? | 除非并非一切安好 对吧 |
[31:23] | Well, maybe we just need to do something to keep things fresh. | 也许只要我们做一些保持新鲜感的事情就行了 |
[31:26] | We could have a threesome or get into open-air sex. | 我们可以来个三人行或者打野炮 |
[31:29] | That’s not the answer. | 这不是解决问题的方法 |
[31:30] | Or we could try chastity. | 或者我们干脆禁欲好了 |
[31:31] | The concept, I mean. | 我是说思想层面的 |
[31:33] | Not Chastity from your course. | 不是你课程里学到的真的节欲 |
[31:34] | Kingsley, listen to yourself. | 金斯利 你说话前走一走脑子 |
[31:36] | Marriage, followed by marriage counselling. | 我们结婚吧 然后一起参加一个婚姻辅导 |
[31:38] | We could move to New Zealand and start a farm. | 我们可以搬去新西兰 建个农场 |
[31:40] | Or we could do that thing from Germany | 或者用德国佬那一套 |
[31:41] | where one of you eats a bit of the other one. | 你从我的盘子里吃点 我从你的盘子里拿一点 |
[31:44] | Yeah, that well-known way of saving a relationship, | 是啊 据说通过吃饭就可以解决问题 |
[31:46] | by eating your way out of trouble. | 拯救两个人的感情 |
[31:48] | I love you. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make this work. | 我爱你 我希望我们能在一起 要我做什么都可以 |
[31:51] | I will shave off my soul patch. | 我会把下巴上的胡子剃掉 |
[31:53] | I will stop eating penne. | 我不会再吃通心粉了 |
[31:54] | Or carrying on eating penne. | 还是说你希望我继续吃通心粉 |
[31:56] | Whichever it is you want me to do. | 你让我干嘛我就干嘛 |
[31:57] | And I will listen to Mumford and Sons with you | 我会和你一起听蒙福之子的歌 |
[31:57] | 蒙福之子乐队: 英国的民谣摇滚乐队 | |
[31:59] | and I will not make sarcastic remarks | 而且我保证不再吐槽他们了 |
[32:01] | and I will not dance ironically | 我也不会再跳那种挖苦人的舞了 |
[32:03] | and I will do everything you want | 我啥都听你的 |
[32:04] | and I will make you happy and we will buy a house | 我会让你幸幸福福的 我们买栋房子 |
[32:06] | overlooking the Gower Peninsula and we’ll have two kids | 可以俯瞰高尔半岛 再生两个孩子 |
[32:08] | and we’ll grow old together | 我和你一起慢慢变老 |
[32:09] | and sit in the sun in our garden | 坐在我们的花园里 沐浴著阳光 |
[32:11] | and hold hands till we’re 90 | 执子之手 与子偕老 |
[32:13] | and we’ll be in love | 我们会永远相爱 |
[32:15] | and we’ll be happy. | 永远幸福 |
[32:19] | OK. | 好吧 |
[32:22] | And THAT is what I would do to the gays… | 如果我当选的话 我就会对同性恋采取我所说的 |
[32:26] | if I was elected. | 那些行动 |
[32:29] | Wow. I mean, wow. I totally agree with that. | 哇塞 我想说其实我举双手双脚赞成她的作法 |
[32:33] | I would never say that out loud. | 但我可不敢大声说出来 |
[32:35] | I mean, this is the problem with modern politics. | 这就是现今政治存在的缺陷 |
[32:37] | There are no personalities any more. | 不能进行什么人身攻击 |
[32:38] | No racist or homophobic personalities. | 没有种族歧视 也不能抨击反同性恋者 |
[32:41] | So, if there’s no questions… | 如果大家没什么问题了 |
[32:44] | that’s it. Cheers. | 那就这样吧 高声欢呼吧 |
[32:54] | Give me that! | 还给姐 |
[32:56] | I can’t believe you did that for me. | 我不敢相信 你竟然为了我这么做 |
[32:58] | Yeah, it’s a pretty weird act of friendship. | 是啊 我也觉得这么展现我们的友情很诡异 |
[33:02] | You will still need an ents manager, right? | 你仍然需要一个副手的对吧 |
[33:05] | Yeah. | 没错 |
[33:07] | One who gets paid in free beer, yeah? | 他可以享受免费啤酒的待遇 对吧 |
[33:09] | Yeah. Although that might be tricky | 没错 但是现在有点难办了 |
[33:11] | because now you have a reputation as a homophobe. | 因为你现在歧视同性恋的大名已经人尽皆知了 |
[33:15] | Thanks for your patience. The results will be in any moment. | 请大家耐心等候 我们很快会公布结果 |
[33:18] | Oh, hi. | 嗨 |
[33:20] | – You OK? – Yeah. | – 没事吧 – 没事 |
[33:23] | – You seem quiet? – I’m fine. | – 有心事 – 我没事 |
[33:24] | Hey. I’ve only gone and taken the house off the market. | 嘿 我刚才去把房屋信息从交易所撤下来了 |
[33:27] | I’m a fucking hero | 我真他妈是个英雄 |
[33:28] | and I’m not just saying that because I’ve done a shed load of coke. | 我这么说可不是因为刚才嗑了药 |
[33:30] | I mean, I have done a shed load of coke, but I am a hero anyway. | 虽然是磕了点儿 但哥也确实是个英雄 |
[33:34] | Quick one about that. Is it obvious that I’ve done a shed load of coke? | 顺便一问 我嗑了药这件事情很明显咩 |
[33:37] | Cos, I mean, I have. Actually, don’t even bother answering that | 因为我确实嗑药了 其实你们还是不用回答了 |
[33:40] | because even if it is obvious, I don’t fucking care. | 就算大家都能看出来 我他妈也不在乎 |
[33:46] | Look, have I ruined things between you and Kingsley? | 我是不是破坏了你和金斯利的感情 |
[33:49] | No, you haven’t ruined anything | 没有 你什么都没破坏 |
[33:51] | cos you didn’t DO anything, remember? | 因为你啥都没做 记得吗 |
[33:54] | Ah, gotcha. | 啊 懂了 |
[33:59] | Oh, my God. Look. It’s Sam. | 我滴神 是山姆 |
[34:02] | Right. I’m going to talk to Sam. | 好了 我去找山姆聊聊 |
[34:04] | Well, I wouldn’t if I were you. | 我要是你就不会这么做 |
[34:06] | Mate, seriously, if there’s one thing people on coke are good at, | 老兄 别逗了 磕嗨了的人最擅长的 |
[34:08] | it’s talking to people. | 就是找人聊天 |
[34:10] | As long as I’m not required to listen, this can’t go wrong. | 只要她不是要求我做个听众 这事儿就不会跑偏 |
[34:15] | Hey, Sam. I need to talk to you. | 嘿 山姆 咱们聊聊吧 |
[34:17] | JP, I know I’m amazing, | JP 我知道我很有魅力 |
[34:19] | but you need to get over me. | 但是咱俩已经是过去式了 |
[34:20] | Yeah. That’s what I want to talk to you about. | 没错 我想找你说的就是这个 |
[34:22] | I think that you are totally and utterly amazing. | 我觉得你真是沉鱼落雁闭月羞花 |
[34:25] | And I’m not just saying that because I’ve done a fuckload of coke. | 我这么说并不仅仅是因为我刚刚嗑药嗑嗨了 |
[34:27] | I HAVE done a fuckload of coke | 虽然确实吸了不少 |
[34:29] | so I should probably mention that straight up. | 所以我觉得更应该开门见山 |
[34:31] | But basically, | 但最主要还是因为 |
[34:32] | I’ve realised that we weren’t in love. | 我意识到我们并没有爱上彼此 |
[34:33] | What we had was not love because, yeah, I loved you, | 我们之间并不是爱情 确实 我爱你 |
[34:36] | but you didn’t love me and when two people are actually in love, | 但你并不爱我 就算两个人彼此真心相爱 |
[34:39] | that’s hard enough to stay in love. | 维系感情都非易事 |
[34:40] | If one of us didn’t love the other, | 但如果我们中有一个人不爱对方 |
[34:42] | it can’t have been love | 那这就不是爱情 |
[34:42] | and I’m genuinely sorry | 我还要对你表达我深切的歉意 |
[34:44] | because I think I got a little bit obsessed | 我觉得我对你著迷得有点走火入魔了 |
[34:45] | and maybe started projecting some feelings about you that weren’t about you. | 这种痴迷让我对你产生了一些感觉 但其实都是错觉 |
[34:48] | So, yeah, I’m really sorry | 真的非常抱歉 |
[34:49] | and I know this sounds like it’s the coke talking | 我知道这一切听上去都像是毒品的副作用 |
[34:51] | and it definitely is the coke talking, | 没错 白粉确实很给力 |
[34:52] | but I do also mean it. | 但我句句发自肺腑 情真意切 |
[34:55] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
[35:01] | Right. Were you just coming on to me? | 那啥 你刚是在吃我豆腐吗 |
[35:03] | No. | 你想太多了 |
[35:04] | Good. OK. Yeah. | 好吧 那就这样吧 |
[35:06] | I mean, I knew that. I was just checking. | 我早就知道的 就是确认一下 |
[35:12] | Look, I know you like Howard. | 我知道你喜欢霍华德 |
[35:16] | But look at all the problems that Kingsley and Josie have had. | 但你想一想金斯利和乔茜之间的那些破事儿 |
[35:19] | Maybe don’t shit where you eat? | 兔子不吃窝边草懂吗 |
[35:21] | We’re already going out. | 我们已经开始交往了 |
[35:23] | Oh, er… Oh, er… Well, then congratulations. | 这样啊 那么祝贺你们 |
[35:28] | Homophobe. | 恐同性恋 你个傻缺 |
[35:30] | Are you OK? | 你还好吗 |
[35:32] | Yeah. | 没事 |
[35:34] | Just had a very hot dyke having a go at me. | 刚才有个性感的”蕾丝边”要泡我 |
[35:37] | But I gave her my number | 我把电话给她了 |
[35:38] | and I think she’s going to educate me. | 她可能要好好”教育”我一番了 |
[35:40] | So it is all good. | 所以一切正常 |
[35:44] | OK. The results are in. | 好了 结果已经出来了 |
[35:46] | Before I go into a breakdown of the voting, | 在我仔细统计投票结果之前 |
[35:49] | I can say we have a clear winner | 有位候选者得票率遥遥领先 |
[35:50] | and it is my pleasure to announce that… | 请容许我宣布 |
[35:53] | Oregon Shawcross is duly elected. | 俄勒冈·肖克罗斯正式当选 |
[35:59] | Get it! | 成功了 |
[36:01] | We are the overlords! | 我们称霸天下了 |
[36:04] | Fuck all the other candidates. | 其他的候选人都是傻逼 |
[36:06] | Especially you, Labour! Woo! | 尤其是你 工党狗 |
[36:13] | Just to give you a heads up, | 给你个善意的警示 |
[36:15] | the union is in major debt. | 学生会现在赤字严重 |
[36:17] | So, no money for cheap chips? | 这么说 我们没钱实施薯条降价政策了 |
[36:19] | No money for anything. And as well as the debt, | 什么政策都没钱实施 说到赤字 |
[36:23] | we are facing legal action from the NUS | 我们因为管理不善 |
[36:24] | for gross mismanagement. | 面临来自英国学生联合会的法律诉讼 |
[36:26] | Congratulations on your win. | 恭喜你成功当选 |
[36:28] | It’s your problem now. | 烂摊子交给你了 |
[36:30] | You knew this all along? | 你一直都清楚这些事情的对吧 |
[36:32] | YOU told me to run. You fucking set me up! | 是你让我竞选的 你他妈的给我下套 |
[36:35] | Yeah. I don’t really like you. | 没错 我看你不爽很久了 |
[36:40] | Oh, shit. | 卧槽啊 |
[36:44] | Relax. Don’t sweat it. | 放松 别担心 |
[36:46] | I’ll book a load of fucking cool bands to keep everyone’s spirits up | 我会找点屌炸天的乐队来帮所有人加油打气 |
[36:49] | while YOU cut the essential services. | 而你负责缩减基本服务 |
[36:52] | What’s my budget? No, don’t even tell me. | 给我多少预算呢 行了 不用说了 |
[36:55] | Sort it out later. | 一会儿再解决吧 |
[37:02] | What am I going to do? | 我现在要做些什么呢 |
[37:04] | Don’t panic. Just keep drinking. | 别慌 接著喝就好了 |
[37:12] | Fancy an early night? | 想早点睡吗 |
[37:19] | What’s the matter? | 有什么事吗 |
[37:22] | – You know what the matter is. – Please don’t say it. | – 你知道是什么事的 – 求你别说了 |
[37:27] | I have to. | 我必须得说 |
[37:28] | I don’t want you to. | 我不希望听到你说那些 |
[37:34] | It’s not going to work. | 这一切不会有结果的 |
[37:35] | I know we really like each other but… | 我知道我们彼此喜欢 但是 |
[37:38] | it’s not quite enough. | 这还远远不够 |
[37:41] | I know we both like penne, | 我知道我们都喜欢吃通心粉 |
[37:43] | but if I’m honest, I’m not sure I only want penne. | 但坦白说 我不知道自己是不是只想吃通心粉 |
[37:46] | I want to go to Thailand and eat noodles and meet people | 我想去泰国 尝一尝面条 多认识些人 |
[37:50] | and quite possibly hump some of those people if I feel like it. | 要是有看顺眼的 也许还会来个一夜情 |
[37:53] | And you should too. | 你也应该这么做 |
[37:55] | And do you really love me or are you just scared of losing me | 你是真的爱我 还是说你只是害怕失去我 |
[37:57] | because it’s not quite the same thing? | 这二者是很不一样的 |
[38:02] | So maybe we should just pack it in… | 所以我们就到此为止吧 |
[38:06] | while I still like-slash-love you. | 趁我现在还喜欢你 或者说还爱你 |
[38:09] | Cos if we fight it out till the end… | 要是我们继续硬撑的话 |
[38:12] | then by the time we leave uni, we might not even be Facebook friends… | 等到毕业时 或许连脸谱网上的好友都做不成了 |
[38:20] | and… | 但是 |
[38:22] | I really want to know you for the rest of your life. | 我真的好想和你做一辈子的朋友 |
[38:28] | So… | 所以 |
[38:32] | let’s just give ourselves a break, shall we? | 让我们都喘口气 休息休息 好吗 |
[38:42] | Yeah. OK. | 好吧 |
[38:44] | Bang. Another cupboard done. | 好啦 又擦完了一个橱柜 |
[38:48] | Bang. Onto the next cupboard. | 行啦 开始擦下一个橱柜 |
[38:51] | I fucking love cleaning. | 我太他妈喜欢打扫卫生了 |
[39:45] | God, I’m horny. | 天啊 我又硬了 |