| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Every Saturday, | 每周六 |
| [00:04] | it seemed like all the guys in my school went to a sleepover. | 我们学校的每个人似乎都会去别人家过夜 |
| [00:06] | And every Monday, they’d brag about it | 到了周一 他们就会在那些 |
| [00:08] | in front of kids who weren’t invited… Like me. | 未受邀的同学面前炫耀 比如我 |
| [00:10] | Man, we ate so much cereal. | 天啊 我们吃了太多的麦片 |
| [00:12] | Yeah, we did. Remember when Doug wet the bed? | 是啊 没错 记得道格尿床那事吗 |
| [00:14] | Sploosh! | 狂喷啊 |
| [00:15] | It’s not a party till my sleeping bag’s flooded! | 直到我的睡袋里”发大水” 才算真正的派对呢 |
| [00:20] | Sleepovers are corny as hell. | 在同学家过夜真老套俗气 |
| [00:22] | Right? Those guys are so dumb. | 是吧 那些人就是蠢货 |
| [00:24] | Eddie. Wanna come to my sleepover on Saturday? | 埃迪 你周六想来我家过夜吗 |
| [00:26] | Yes! | 好啊 |
| [00:28] | Wait a minute. Why are you inviting me? Is this a trick? | 等等 你为什么要邀请我 是什么诡计吗 |
| [00:31] | No tricks. Trent told me about | 没诡计 特伦特跟我说了 |
| [00:33] | you feeling up that old ladyat the block party. | 你在街区派对上摸那个老女人的事 |
| [00:35] | He touched her butt. She was, like, 25. | 他摸了她的屁股 她估计都有25岁了呢 |
| [00:37] | Respect. You’re gonna super appreciate | 敬你 你一定会很喜欢 |
| [00:39] | what I’ve got planned for Saturday. | 我对这周六的安排的 |
| [00:41] | I’ve got a dirty magazine. | 我搞到了一本情色杂志 |
| [00:42] | “Sports illustrated” swimsuit issue. | 《体育画报》泳装特刊 |
| [00:46] | I hear Elle MacPherson’s pretty. | 我听说艾丽·麦克弗森超美的 |
| [00:48] | Obviously, none of us had seen a dirty magazine before. | 显然 我们以前都没看过情色杂志 |
| [00:51] | It was 1995. | 那可是1995年 |
| [00:52] | It wasn’t like you could just say, | 你可没办法直接说 |
| [00:53] | “Siri, find me boobs.” | “Siri 给我搜索些大胸照” |
| [00:55] | My big brother got a subscription under a fake name… | 我哥用假名订了一本 |
| [00:57] | “Todd Thickstone.” | 叫”陶德·硬如铁” |
| [00:59] | He’s on an eagle scout’s trip until Sunday, | 他会在鹰级童子军一直训练到周日 |
| [01:01] | so it’s all ours. | 所以我们可以尽情享用 |
| [01:02] | I was mad psyched. | 我简直激动得要疯了 |
| [01:04] | I was on the road to making some friends. | 我就要交到一些朋友了 |
| [01:06] | No way. | 不可能 |
| [01:07] | Why not? It’s just a sleepover. | 为什么不行 就是过夜而已 |
| [01:09] | Because pedophiles. | 因为要防恋童癖 |
| [01:11] | I saw it on the Nightly News. | 我在《夜间新闻》上看到的 |
| [01:13] | Back in D.C., my mom spent her days | 之前在华盛顿特区时 我妈白天 |
| [01:14] | working at my Uncle’s furniture store, | 要在我姨父的家具店工作 |
| [01:16] | and her nights karaoke-ing with her friends. | 晚上都和朋友出去唱卡拉OK |
| [01:19] | But since we moved to Orlando, | 但自从我们搬到了奥兰多 |
| [01:20] | she had a lot of time on her hands… | 她一下子就有了很多空闲时间 |
| [01:22] | Time she filled watching the Nightly News. | 于是她就狂看《夜间新闻》 |
| [01:24] | Are you at risk for date rape? | 你会面临约会时被强奸的危险吗 |
| [01:28] | Are deadly chemicals in your couch? | 你的沙发里含有致命化学品吗 |
| [01:32] | Sexual harassment in the workplace… | 工作场所的性骚扰 |
| [01:34] | can it happen to you? | 会发生在你身上吗 |
| [01:35] | Yes, it can. | 是的 可能的 |
| [01:37] | Fearmongering was made for my mom, | 我妈就喜欢信这些制造恐慌的消息 |
| [01:39] | and her paranoia made the rest of us miserable. | 她的偏执妄想症让我们大家苦不堪言 |
| [01:44] | Are we still going to the movies? | 我们还去看电影吗 |
| [01:46] | Only if there’s something with Denzel. | 除非是有丹泽尔参演的电影 |
| [01:48] | Movie theaters are a hot bed for disease. | 电影院是孕育疾病的温床 |
| [01:50] | Nightly News. | 《夜间新闻》说的 |
| [01:52] | “Crimson Tide” is playing. | 现在有《红潮风暴》上映哦 |
| [01:53] | Start the car. | 立刻去发动汽车 |
| [02:16] | If you don’t let me go to that sleepover, | 如果你不让我去同学家过夜 |
| [02:18] | I’m gonna stop eating. | 我就绝食 |
| [02:21] | Buddy… | 老兄 |
| [02:23] | I overreached. I see that now. | 我做过头了 我现在明白了 |
| [02:25] | Eddie, I already told you, | 埃迪 我已经跟你说过了 |
| [02:26] | you can have the sleepover here. | 你可以请同学来我们家过夜 |
| [02:28] | I know that we are not pedophiles. | 我知道我们都不是恋童癖 |
| [02:30] | The guys won’t go for that. | 那些同学不会来的 |
| [02:31] | I don’t have a dirty ma… | 我又没有情色… |
| [02:34] | it’s just stupid here. | 我们家傻兮兮的 |
| [02:37] | You won’t believe what happened at work today. | 你们一定难以相信我今天上班时遇到了什么事 |
| [02:40] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [02:41] | A customer just asked to be seated, | 一位顾客要求就座 |
| [02:43] | but all the tables are full. | 但桌子都已经满了 |
| [02:51] | Should we… start a waiting list? | 我们要开始搞 等候用餐清单了吗 |
| [02:54] | And then we started a waiting list! | 然后我们就开始搞等候用餐清单了 |
| [02:56] | That’s amazing! It’s what we’ve been waiting for! | 真是太棒了 我们一直等的就是这个啊 |
| [03:00] | Oh, no. I was afraid of this. | 不 我之前还很害怕这事呢 |
| [03:03] | Yeah. W-wait. What just happened? | 是啊 等等 什么情况这是 |
| [03:05] | Eddie, what’s the thing you always say | 埃迪 你经常引用的那句 |
| [03:07] | that the fat brown man says? | 胖黑男人说的话是什么来着 |
| [03:09] | – Mo’ money, mo’ problems? – Yes, that. | -钱越多 烦恼越多 -对 没错 |
| [03:11] | Now that we are close to achieving our dreams, | 既然我们现在距离实现梦想越来越近了 |
| [03:13] | we have to think about protecting them. | 我们必须考虑到要如何保护梦想 |
| [03:15] | We don’t want to be a target for frivolous lawsuits. | 我们不会希望因为鸡毛蒜皮的小争端被告的 |
| [03:19] | I saw it on the Nightly News. | 我在《夜间新闻》上看到过 |
| [03:21] | Why do you always find something to worry about? | 你怎么成天担心这担心那的啊 |
| [03:24] | Just relax. Our insurance covers everything. | 放松吧 我们的保险都包含进去了 |
| [03:26] | – Food poisoning? – Covered. | -食物中毒 -有的 |
| [03:28] | – Slip and fall? – Covered. | -滑倒 摔倒 -有的 |
| [03:29] | – Sexual harassment? – Damn, you’re good. | -性骚扰 -靠 你真厉害 |
| [03:31] | I knew there would be something. | 我就知道肯定有某些问题没被包括 |
| [03:32] | We need to do a seminar so that we are not liable. | 我们得举办个座谈会 那样就不用负法律责任了 |
| [03:35] | I can do it. | 我可以做的 |
| [03:37] | At my family’s furniture store, | 在我们家族的家具店 |
| [03:39] | I handled employee grievances. | 我就是处理员工不满的 |
| [03:42] | The employees were you and your sister. | 那家店的员工只有你和你姐姐 |
| [03:44] | That bitch. | 那个贱人 |
| [03:45] | Jessica, don’t say itch-bayin front of of the k-i-d-s. | 杰西卡 不要在孩-子面前说脏话 |
| [03:48] | Dad, we can spell. | 爸 我们会拼写的 |
| [03:51] | Of course you can, little man! | 你当然可以啦 小家伙 |
| [03:53] | You know what? I’m gonna get you an applesauce. | 话说 我去给你拿些苹果酱来 |
| [03:55] | Dad, I don’t want an apple… | 爸爸 我不想要苹果… |
| [03:56] | Okay, I’ll have an applesauce. | 好吧 你拿什么我吃什么吧 |
| [03:57] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [04:00] | My mom convinced my dad | 我妈说服了我爸 |
| [04:01] | to let her give the sexual harassment seminar | 让她主持一场主题为性骚扰的座谈会 |
| [04:03] | by… Well, pretty much harassing him. | 她的成功手段就是 骚扰他 |
| [04:05] | Welcome to the first official | 欢迎来到第一次正式的 |
| [04:07] | Cattleman’s Ranch sexual harassment seminar. | 牧民的牧场餐厅性骚扰座谈会 |
| [04:11] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [04:13] | To make sure we always have a pleasant work environment, | 为了确保能有一个愉悦的工作环境 |
| [04:17] | flirting should be avoided at all times. | 调情是严格禁止的 |
| [04:21] | Unless you’re a handsome man, because who doesn’t like that? | 除非你长得帅 因为谁不喜欢帅的呢 |
| [04:26] | Ladies, let’s discuss how to sit. | 女士们 我们来讨论下该怎么坐 |
| [04:29] | Your ankles should be crossed at all times… | 你们的脚踝该永远是交叉着的 |
| [04:32] | Unless your thighs make it physically impossible. | 除非你的大腿让这根本不可能实现 |
| [04:35] | You cannot wear any shirts that expose your belly button, | 你们不能穿露脐装 |
| [04:39] | especially if you have an outtie. | 尤其是如果你的肚脐是外翻的 |
| [04:41] | That’s just gross. | 那真是太恶心了 |
| [04:42] | Dirty jokes in the workplace… not allowed. For example… | 禁止在工作场所说黄色笑话 比如 |
| [04:48] | “A German broad with big honkers walks into a bar.” | “一个奶子很大的德国女人走进了酒吧” |
| [04:51] | Okay! That’s uncomfortable. | 行了 那令人很不适 |
| [04:52] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [04:54] | Help yourselves to fig Newtons and milk | 我们准备了无花果馅饼和牛奶 你们随意吃 |
| [04:55] | and laugh about what just happened. Okay. | 对于刚刚的事笑笑就当过去了 好吧 |
| [05:01] | And my brother said there’s a foldout of Kathy Ireland | 我哥说那本杂志里有凯西·艾尔兰的折叠海报 |
| [05:04] | in a white bikini looking “cold,” | 穿着白色比基尼 看上去很”冻人” |
| [05:06] | if you know what I mean. | 你明白我的意思吧 |
| [05:07] | – I don’t. – Me, neither. | -我不明白 -我也不明白 |
| [05:09] | But we’ll find out on Saturday. | 但我们周六就能知道了 |
| [05:11] | I have real bad news.I can’t come to the party. | 我有个很坏的消息 我去不了派对了 |
| [05:14] | Sucks to be you… | 那你真不幸 |
| [05:15] | ‘Cause I’m also getting a popcorn machine! | 因为我还搞到一台爆米花机哦 |
| [05:19] | Dude! Nice! | 老兄 真棒 |
| [05:21] | Do you know what might be cool? | 你知道什么可能比较酷吗 |
| [05:22] | Is if we do the party at my house. | 就是在我家举行派对 |
| [05:25] | Your house? No. | 你家吗 绝对不要 |
| [05:28] | My magazine, my party. | 杂志是我的 派对也得是我的 |
| [05:29] | Besides, does your bedroom | 再说了 你的卧室里 |
| [05:31] | have a mini fridge full of… Hi-c ecto coolers? | 有装满酷爽果汁的迷你冰箱吗 |
| [05:36] | The official drink of Slimer! | 那可是斯莱莫的专用饮料啊 |
| [05:38] | I was losing my audience. I had to do something quick. | 我当时就快被无视了 我必须立刻想出个办法 |
| [05:40] | I have a dirty movie. | 我有色情片 |
| [05:44] | Eddie’s then? | 那去埃迪家吧 |
| [05:48] | The guys were coming over for a dirty movie… | 他们打算来我家看色情片 |
| [05:51] | a dirty movie I didn’t have. | 但我根本没有啊 |
| [05:57] | To make some friends, I had to break some rules, | 为了交朋友 我只能打破规矩了 |
| [05:59] | and your boy was willing to do whatever it took. | 本少爷真是不择手段达成目标 |
| [06:03] | Why are you wearing grandma’s coat? | 你为什么穿着奶奶的大衣 |
| [06:05] | Because I’m gonna steal a dirty movie. | 因为我要偷色情片 |
| [06:06] | – You don’t have to do this.- Yes, I do. | -你不必这样的 -不 我必须做 |
| [06:08] | The guys are coming over tonight. | 我那些同学今晚就要来了 |
| [06:09] | I’ll tell mom. | 我会告诉妈妈的 |
| [06:11] | I’ll draw butts on your homework. | 那我就在你的家庭作业上画满屁股 |
| [06:13] | – You win.- I know. | -你赢了 -我知道 |
| [06:15] | So that’s where I’m gonna steal a dirty movie. | 那就是我要偷下流色情片的地方 |
| [06:18] | Love isn’t dirty. It’s beautiful. | 爱情才不下流呢 很美好的 |
| [06:20] | Shut up. Now let’s do this. | 闭嘴 开始吧 |
| [06:22] | You guys cause a distraction. | 你们负责把注意力引开 |
| [06:27] | 1 One… | |
| [06:28] | – Two, three…- Raisins! Raisins! They used to be grapes! | -2 3 -葡萄干 葡萄干 以前是葡萄 |
| [06:31] | – Raisins! Raisins! – Five, six… | -葡萄干 葡萄干 -5 6 |
| [06:33] | They used to be grapes! | 以前是葡萄 |
| [06:35] | Raisins! Raisins! | 葡萄干 葡萄干 |
| [06:39] | Where are the cartoons? | 卡通片在哪儿呢 |
| [06:41] | That’s what I’m looking for, ’cause I’m a kid! | 我就是在找卡通片 因为我是个小孩 |
| [06:43] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
| [06:44] | I knew you didn’t have a dirty movie | 我就知道你没有色情片 |
| [06:45] | and that you’d come here to steal one. | 你肯定会来这里偷一部 |
| [06:47] | But you totally failed. | 但你彻底失败了 |
| [06:50] | Are you gonna tell everybody? | 你会告诉大家吗 |
| [06:51] | Are you kidding? | 你在开玩笑吗 |
| [06:52] | It’ll be much more fun to watch you crash and burn tonight. | 看到你今晚在大家面前尴尬丢脸才更有趣呢 |
| [06:57] | Let’s go, raisin thrower. You’re outta here. | 出去吧 扔葡萄干的小屁孩 你得出去了 |
| [06:59] | Don’t tell mom! She relies on me! | 别告诉妈妈 她的希望都在我身上 |
| [07:01] | 30 31 32 30, 31, 32… | |
| [07:04] | 33 34… 33, 3… | |
| [07:07] | Yep. Thank you. | 对 谢谢 |
| [07:10] | Okay, we apologize if some of you felt sexually harassed | 好了 如果有人觉得在上一场性骚扰培训课上 |
| [07:14] | by our last sexual harassment training. | 被性骚扰了 我们深表歉意 |
| [07:16] | Who felt harassed?! Was it you? | 谁觉得被骚扰了 是你吗 |
| [07:18] | I…I… Uh, no. | 我 不是 |
| [07:21] | Okay, stop. Stop. | 行了 打住 打住 |
| [07:24] | Now thanks to my wife, | 多亏我的妻子 |
| [07:25] | who opened up this can of worms for no reason, | 无缘无故地搞出这么一大堆麻烦事 |
| [07:28] | I’ve hired a professional to lead the seminar. | 我请了个专业人士 来主持座谈会 |
| [07:32] | So, everybody, let’s give a warm Cattleman’s welcome | 各位 让我们用牧民餐厅特有的热情 |
| [07:35] | to Dusty Nugget! | 欢迎达斯迪·纳格特 |
| [07:40] | All right! All right! Thank you! | 很好 很好 谢谢各位 |
| [07:43] | So… A little bit about me. | 我先做个自我介绍吧 |
| [07:45] | I was a repeat sexual harassment offender | 我曾经是个多次犯案的性骚扰者 |
| [07:47] | who, thanks to a complicated plea deal, | 多亏了复杂的认罪协议 |
| [07:50] | is now working for the good guys. | 现在开始为好人工作了 |
| [07:51] | That’s right, they Hannibal Lectured me. | 没错 他们对我进行了汉尼拔式的残酷教育 |
| [07:54] | Don’t be alarmed. | 别紧张 |
| [07:55] | I got booked on showing, not touching. | 我是因为露阴被抓的 不是摸别人身体 |
| [07:57] | So… Let’s start with the basics. | 那么 我们先从基本的开始吧 |
| [08:01] | Is sexual harassment good? Or bad? | 性骚扰是好事 还是坏事 |
| [08:08] | Bad? | 坏事吧 |
| [08:10] | That’s great. | 好极了 |
| [08:12] | Oh, great job. Great, great job. | 好样的 你很厉害 |
| [08:17] | Now I’m gonna give you a little kiss. | 现在我要稍稍亲你一下了 |
| [08:20] | And freeze. | 定格 |
| [08:22] | What am I doing wrong? | 我刚刚的行为错在哪儿 |
| [08:37] | What? | 什么事 |
| [08:39] | Sorry. I’m your neighbor… Eddie. | 不好意思 我是你的邻居 埃迪 |
| [08:42] | I see you staring at me always. | 我看到你总是盯着我 |
| [08:43] | Cool, cool. So I know it’s weird, | 很好 所以我知道这样很怪 |
| [08:46] | but can I take a video of you doing anything? | 但我能录下你做什么事的短片吗 |
| [08:49] | Like homework | 比如做家庭作业 |
| [08:50] | or washing that car over there? | 或是洗那辆车 |
| [09:05] | No. | 不行 |
| [09:06] | Hey, mom, ask me if I’ll eat my carrots. | 妈 快问我愿不愿意吃胡萝卜 |
| [09:08] | – No. – I can’t believe we’re paying for all this stuff. | -不行 -真不敢相信我们要花钱买这堆烂东西 |
| [09:11] | Because of you. | 都是拜你所赐 |
| [09:12] | No one is fond of fondling. | 没人喜欢被摸 |
| [09:14] | You know why it’s so expensive? | 你知道为什么这些东西那么贵吗 |
| [09:17] | Hidden fees. | 隐性收费 |
| [09:18] | I saw a Nightly News once where they talked… | 我有次在《夜间新闻》上看到… |
| [09:19] | No more Nightly News! | 不准再看《夜间新闻》了 |
| [09:21] | These are the snacks you got me for my sleepover? | 这就是你为我的过夜派对准备的零食吗 |
| [09:24] | Squiddies? What are squiddies? | 乌贼片 什么鬼东西啊 |
| [09:26] | They were on sale, | 刚好在打折而已 |
| [09:27] | and there’s a funny octopus on the bag. | 包装袋上还有个很逗的小章鱼呢 |
| [09:29] | Who’s squirting ink on a dog! | 它正往小狗身上喷墨汁 |
| [09:32] | These are for dogs! | 这是狗粮 |
| [09:33] | Dad, help me out. | 爸 快拯救我 |
| [09:35] | Eddie, you’ll be fine. | 埃迪 你会没事的 |
| [09:36] | Just play with the legos I bought you. | 去玩我给你买的乐高玩具吧 |
| [09:38] | Legos?! | 乐高玩具 |
| [09:42] | Oh, welcome to our home! Come in! | 欢迎来我们家 进来吧 |
| [09:45] | Eddie is so excited. | 埃迪激动死了 |
| [09:46] | He’s had such a hard time making any friends. | 他一直很难交到朋友 |
| [09:48] | Okay, mom. Thanks. | 行了 妈 谢你了啊 |
| [09:50] | There’s pork bone stew on the stove. | 炉子上有一锅骨头汤 |
| [09:52] | It’s good for your hearing. | 有助于提升听力 |
| [09:54] | – Mom…- Bye, Mrs. Huang. | -妈 -再见 黄太太 |
| [09:56] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [09:57] | Where’s the dirty movie? | 色情片在哪儿呢 |
| [09:58] | Yeah, Eddie. | 是啊 埃迪 |
| [10:00] | Where’s the dirty movie? | 色情片在哪儿呢 |
| [10:04] | Okay, guys, here’s the thing… | 是这样的 各位… |
| [10:07] | Is this it? | 就是这个吗 |
| [10:08] | 达斯迪·纳格特制片 性骚扰 | |
| [10:11] | I don’t know what “harassment” means, | 我不知道”骚扰”是什么意思 |
| [10:13] | but it’s got the word “ass” in it. | 但里面有个”屁股”呢 |
| [10:19] | You two play in here, okay? | 你们在这里玩 好吗 |
| [10:22] | Give Eddie some time with his friends. | 别去打扰埃迪和他的朋友们 |
| [10:26] | Grandma, what’s your favorite color? | 奶奶 你最喜欢的颜色是什么 |
| [10:40] | Prepare to sploosh. | 准备好狂喷吧 |
| [10:42] | We’ll see. | 再看吧 |
| [10:48] | 达斯迪·纳格特出品 性骚扰 | |
| [10:50] | The workplace is filled with inappropriate characters. | 工作场合有很多行为失当的人 |
| [10:53] | Let’s meet some of them. | 我们来看看其中一些 |
| [10:55] | Here we have the “persistent Romeo.” | 此人是”死缠烂打的罗密欧” |
| [10:59] | If you select me on Friday night, | 如果你周五晚选择我 |
| [11:01] | I’ll select you for the promotion. | 我就选择让你升职 |
| [11:06] | How about Saturday? | 那不如周六吧 |
| [11:08] | Sunday? | 周日呢 |
| [11:10] | Monday? | 周一 |
| [11:14] | Then there’s “the crooner.” | 此人是”情歌哥” |
| [11:24] | And watch out for “tempting Tanya.” | 当心”诱惑坦娅” |
| [11:26] | She’ll use her sexuality to ensnare you. | 她会用她的性魅力诱惑你 |
| [11:30] | Great job in the meeting today. | 你今天在会上真出色 |
| [11:37] | This is amazing. | 真是太棒了 |
| [11:39] | I can’t believe I’m actually watching a dirty movie. | 我都不敢相信我真在看一部色情片 |
| [11:43] | Obviously none of us knew what a dirty movie was. | 显然 当时我们都不知道色情片是什么样的 |
| [11:46] | You butthole. I can’t believe you actually did it. | 你个混蛋 我不敢相信你竟然真的偷到了 |
| [11:49] | Yo, I always do it. | 哟 我言出不行 |
| [11:53] | Next up… | 接下来 |
| [11:54] | sensitivity regarding holiday party planning. | 跟节日派对筹划有关的敏感问题 |
| [12:04] | My sleepover was a big hit | 我的过夜活动很成功 |
| [12:05] | thanks to dad’ssexual harassment video. | 多亏了我爸的性骚扰录像带 |
| [12:07] | I couldn’t wait to brag about it with my boys. | 我迫不及待在同学们面前炫耀一下 |
| [12:09] | How about the part | 你觉得那段怎么样 |
| [12:10] | where “one for the road Randy” is like, | “带一个在路上吃的兰迪” 他像这样 |
| [12:12] | “come on, Jen from accounting. | “拜托 会计部的珍 |
| [12:13] | Let’s have one for the road”? | 带一个在路上吃吧” |
| [12:16] | What a sleepover, huh? | 在我家过夜很精彩吧 |
| [12:17] | Maybe I’ll do it again next weekend. | 或许我下周还会举办一次 |
| [12:19] | Oh, we don’t need to go back to your place. | 我们不需要再去你家了 |
| [12:21] | We have our own copies. | 我们也有了 |
| [12:23] | – How did you get those? – From me. | -你们从哪弄来的 -我给的 |
| [12:25] | You ganked my party, so I ganked your video. | 你偷走了我的派对 我就偷走了你的录像带 |
| [12:27] | You stole my tape? | 你偷了我的录像带 |
| [12:29] | I had a kid in the media room make copies. | 我让一个小子在多媒体室复制录像带 |
| [12:33] | They all have the tape, so… They don’t need you, | 现在人手一份 所以 他们不需要你了 |
| [12:36] | How do you sleep at night? | 你这么作恶 晚上怎么睡得着 |
| [12:38] | With two night-lights. I got a big room. | 开着两盏夜灯睡 我的房间很大 |
| [12:45] | Louis, we need to install floodlights in the parking lot. | 路易斯 我们必须在停车场安些泛光灯 |
| [12:48] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [12:49] | Because bad guys steal babies from the backseats of cars. | 因为有坏人会从车后座偷小孩 |
| [12:53] | It’s a baby selling scheme. | 那是种贩卖小孩的阴谋 |
| [12:55] | I saw it on “60 minutes.” | 我在《时事60分钟》上看到的 |
| [12:57] | No Nightly News last night. | 昨晚没播《夜间新闻》 |
| [12:59] | They aired a repeat of “Family Matters.” | 他们播的是《凡人琐事》重播集 |
| [13:01] | I know. I saw it. Urkel was hilarious. | 我知道 我看了 厄科尔笑死人了 |
| [13:03] | You need to stop being so paranoid. | 你不能再这样有”被迫害妄想症”了 |
| [13:05] | We don’t know these people down here. | 我们对这里的人还不够了解 |
| [13:07] | We don’t know what they’re… capable of. | 我们不知道他们能干出什么事来 |
| [13:08] | And freeze. | 定格 |
| [13:11] | This is currently not sexual harassment, | 现在这还不算是性骚扰 |
| [13:14] | but if in the process of making up, things got physical, | 但如果接下来 有了身体上的接触 |
| [13:17] | well, that is a workplace no-no. | 那是工作场所禁止的行为 |
| [13:20] | What are you still doing here? | 你怎么还在这里 |
| [13:22] | The state requires me to be here for one week | 政府要求我必须在这待满一周 |
| [13:24] | before I can give you your completion certificate. | 然后才能给你们颁发检查完毕的证书 |
| [13:44] | I’ll recommend you to everyone I know. | 我会向我所有认识的人推荐你的 |
| [13:56] | It wasn’t long before that video spread all over the joint. | 很快 那盘录像带就传遍了学校 |
| [13:59] | It was like the 1995 version of going viral, | 那就像是1995年版本的”病毒视频” |
| [14:01] | and it started a sexual harassment revolution at my school. | 并且在我的学校掀起了一场”性骚扰革命” |
| [14:07] | If you select me as your boyfriend, uh, | 如果你选我做你的男朋友 |
| [14:09] | I’ll select you for the promotion. | 我就选择给你升职 |
| [14:14] | Nice kick in kickball today. | 你今天踢足垒球表现不错 |
| [14:16] | Well, aren’t you a tempting Tanya? | 你就是”诱惑坦娅”吧 |
| [14:19] | I like it. | 我喜欢 |
| [14:26] | Hey, girl. How about we have one for the road? | 嘿 美女 不如我们带一个在路上”吃”吧 |
| [14:30] | What road? | 什么路 |
| [14:34] | This got out of hand fast. | 情况迅速失控 |
| [14:38] | I’m confused why we’re here. | 我很不解 为什么要叫我们来 |
| [14:41] | We traced this video back to your son. | 我们查到这些录像带都来自你儿子 |
| [14:43] | It’s caused an epidemic. | 引发了整个校园的观看 |
| [14:45] | It’s just a sexual harassment training video from my restaurant. | 那只是我的餐厅所用的性骚扰知识培训录像 |
| [14:48] | Oh, I’ve watched the video. I know it’s completely innocent. | 我看了录像带 我知道内容很干净 |
| [14:52] | I’m confused why we’re here. | 我还是不解为什么要叫我们来 |
| [14:55] | If the boys think this is a dirty movie | 如果男孩子们认为这是色情片 |
| [14:57] | they obviously don’t know what sex is. | 那显然说明他们不了解性 |
| [14:59] | We’re planning a sex Ed assembly. | 我们打算举行一次性教育讲座 |
| [15:01] | But in the meantime, we’re encouraging parents | 但与此同时 我们也鼓励父母 |
| [15:03] | to have “the talk” with their sons. | 和儿子进行”性知识谈话” |
| [15:05] | “The talk”? He’s still just a kid. | “性知识谈话” 他还是个孩子啊 |
| [15:07] | Here. We’re giving all the parents a copy | 给 我们给所有父母都发了一份 |
| [15:09] | of the district-approved textbook. | 经区政府许可的教科书 |
| [15:12] | “Flowers & watering cans”? | “花儿与喷壶” |
| [15:15] | It’s quite lovely. My wife did all the illustrations. | 很可爱 插图是我老婆亲手画的 |
| [15:18] | Oh, is that what your wife does with her free time? | 你老婆空闲时做这事吗 |
| [15:20] | My wife worries about sexual harassment, | 我老婆闲的没事却会担心性骚扰 |
| [15:22] | razor blades in apples, baby thieves, | 苹果里的刀片 拐卖儿童贩 |
| [15:24] | my favorite blue sweater | 以及我最爱的蓝色毛衣 |
| [15:25] | getting me mistaken for a gang member… | 会让我被误认为是黑帮成员 |
| [15:27] | it’s a nice sweater… | 那毛衣还不错 |
| [15:28] | For a Crip to get shot in. | 克里普黑帮成员穿着被枪杀不错 |
| [15:33] | I’m going to Applebee’s after this. | 我等下要去苹果蜂餐厅 |
| [15:35] | Do you think I’ll be okay? | 你觉得我穿成这样安全吗 |
| [15:37] | No, I don’t. | 不 不安全 |
| [15:48] | You’re bluffing. You don’t have it. | 你在诈我 你根本没有大牌在手 |
| [15:54] | I’m all in. | 我全跟 |
| [16:03] | She had it, Evan. | 她有的哦 埃文 |
| [16:17] | Guess he’s not a kid anymore. | 看来他已经不是个小孩了 |
| [16:20] | I can’t believe it’s time to give him the talk. | 我还是不敢相信现在就要跟他进行性知识谈话了 |
| [16:22] | I know. | 我知道的 |
| [16:25] | I will let you know how it goes. | 我会向你转告情况的 |
| [16:27] | Aw, hell, no. | 绝对不行 |
| [16:28] | You created this whole situation. | 整件事都是你闹出来的 |
| [16:30] | I’ll handle this now, | 现在我来处理 |
| [16:33] | father to son. | 父子谈话 |
| [16:52] | “Flowers & watering cans.” | “花儿与喷壶” |
| [16:56] | I can’t believe | 我真不敢相信 |
| [16:57] | this is how they teach kids about sex here. | 美国就是这么教孩子性知识的 |
| [16:59] | Dad, can you please just ground me or something? | 爸 你直接对我进行禁足处罚什么的算了吧 |
| [17:03] | Eddie… | 埃迪 |
| [17:04] | Half the reason I come to this country | 我移民这个国家的一半原因 |
| [17:06] | is so you could have lots of sex. | 就是为了让你有很多的性生活 |
| [17:09] | What I mean is,Taiwan was so conservative. | 我的意思是 台湾太保守了 |
| [17:12] | You couldn’t really have sex before you were married. | 你必须等到结婚后才能做爱 |
| [17:15] | You didn’t know | 你都不知道 |
| [17:16] | if you and your wife were compatible that way. | 你和你妻子在性生活上是否和谐 |
| [17:18] | It was dumb luck that your mom and I were. | 我和你妈在这方面很和谐 真是走大运了 |
| [17:21] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [17:22] | Look, I don’t want you to go out and have sex tomorrow, okay? | 听着 我的意思不是叫你明天就出去找人做爱 |
| [17:26] | But this? | 但是这个 |
| [17:28] | This is just gonna confuse you. | 这个只会让你更加困惑 |
| [17:31] | I will tell you the truth if you wanna hear it. | 如果你想听 我可以把真实情况都告诉你 |
| [17:36] | Yeah? Okay. | 是吗 好吧 |
| [17:38] | Okay, where to start? | 好吧 该从何开始呢 |
| [17:41] | This will sound crazy, | 你可能会觉得这难以置信 |
| [17:43] | but it’s way better than video games. | 但那个真的比玩电子游戏爽多了 |
| [17:45] | You know how sneezes feel really satisfying in a weird way? | 你知道打喷嚏会给你带来一种古怪的满足感吧 |
| [17:49] | Stay away from Arkansas. | 别去阿肯色州 |
| [17:51] | They outlawed all the fun stuff. | 他们把所有好玩的性爱东西都列为非法的 |
| [17:53] | Spring break, my God. | 春假啊 天啊 |
| [17:55] | I am so excited for you. I might come with. | 我真为你激动 我或许也会陪你一起去哦 |
| [17:59] | That’s a great question. | 问得好 |
| [18:00] | I say maybe you burn about 200 calories? | 我估计 会燃烧200大卡的热量吧 |
| [18:03] | If you pretend like you have a bad back, | 如果你假装你的背不好 |
| [18:05] | you don’t have to do so much work. | 那你就不需要做太多辛苦的体位了 |
| [18:06] | Three words…”old national geographic.” | 三个词 旧的国家地理 |
| [18:10] | I like having the lights out | 我喜欢关着灯做 |
| [18:11] | so I can pretend like we’re in a castle. | 那样我就可以假装我们是在城堡中 |
| [18:14] | These are not the type of crabs Maryland is known for. | 那些可不是马里兰州的特产螃蟹[阴虱] |
| [18:17] | And most importantly, | 最重要的是 |
| [18:18] | like we always say during the “S.N.L.” monologue | 就像一个音乐人主持《周六夜现场》时 |
| [18:21] | when a musician hosts, | 我们经常说的那样 |
| [18:23] | wrap it up. | 多穿点[戴套] |
| [18:29] | – How’d it go? – Good. | -怎么样 -很好 |
| [18:31] | I went over the whole book. | 我把整本书都说给他听了 |
| [18:32] | Did you tell him not to date rape? | 你叫他别干约会强奸这种事了吗 |
| [18:35] | What? | 什么 |
| [18:37] | I felt good after that talk with my dad. | 跟我爸谈过之后 我觉得很好 |
| [18:39] | The other guys at school got a bunch of garbage | 其他同学都只学到了一堆 |
| [18:41] | about watering cans and flowers. | 关于喷壶与花儿的废话 |
| [18:43] | -“Let’s kiss.” – “Okay.” | -“我们接吻吧” -“好啊” |
| [18:47] | But my dad gave me the real, | 但我爸让我了解到真实情况 |
| [18:48] | and I was mad appreciative for that. | 我对此充满感激 |
| [18:50] | I said to myself, when I became a dad, | 我对自己说 等我成为父亲时 |
| [18:52] | I’d treat my son with the same resp… | 我也会同样尊重我儿子 像这样… |
| [18:54] | Like that?! | 喜欢吗 |
| [18:55] | – What are you doing?! – You like that?! No?! | -你在干什么 -你喜欢这样吗 不喜欢是吧 |
| [18:56] | Well, girls don’t either! | 女孩也不喜欢 |
| [18:58] | No means no! Respect girls! | 说了不要就是不要 尊重女孩 |
| [19:00] | Nightly News! | 《夜间新闻》说的 |
| [19:01] | Okay, okay, I won’t! God! | 好的 好的 我不会的 天啊 |
| [19:07] | Okay, I may have overreacted. | 好吧 我可能是有点反应过度了 |
| [19:10] | Ya think? | 你以为呢 |
| [19:11] | Obviously, I have too much time on my hands. | 显然我是闲得发慌才会这样的 |
| [19:14] | I’m in the house all day, and it’s making me stir-crazy. | 我整天都只能待在家里 那快把我逼疯了 |
| [19:18] | I think I need to get a job. | 我觉得我该找个工作 |
| [19:20] | Here are the classifieds. I circled you several options. | 分类广告在此 我给你挑了好几个 |
| [19:23] | And? | 并且… |
| [19:25] | Do you have anything else you wanna say to me? | 你有没有其他想对我说的 |
| [19:27] | Yes. Go get ready for bed. | 有 去准备上床睡觉吧 |
| [19:30] | And that you’re… | 并且你… |
| [19:32] | His mother, and that he still has a bedtime. | …是他妈 他该上床睡觉了 |
| [19:35] | But you came at Eddie with a stuffed animal. | 但你拿个毛绒玩具攻击埃迪 |
| [19:37] | And now you’re… s… | 现在你…歉… |
| [19:40] | Sewing it up. | 缝好玩具 |
| [19:42] | Oh, come on. | 拜托哦 |
| [19:46] | I don’t have to say “I’m sorry” to him, Louis. | 我不需要跟他道歉的 路易斯 |
| [19:48] | I gave birth to him. | 他可是我生出来的 |
| [19:50] | Life is worth a thousand “I am sorrys.” | 赐予他生命 抵得上一千次对不起 |
| [19:54] | Thanks, mommy. It looks as good as new. | 谢谢 妈咪 现在完好如新了 |
| [19:56] | This belongs to grandma now. She won it fair and square. | 现在这个是奶奶的了 她公平合理地赢来的 |
| [20:00] | Oh, that’s poker, baby. | 扑克就是这样的 宝贝 |
| [20:02] | That’s poker. | 玩扑克就是这样 |
| [20:08] | No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. No. No. | 不 不 不要 不要 |
| [20:13] | Okay, students, a state-licensed spokesman | 听着 同学们 一位持证发言人 |
| [20:16] | is here to tell us about our bodies. | 将跟我们介绍下我们的身体 |
| [20:18] | One of our parents, Louis Huang, highly recommended him… | 有位家长 路易斯·黄 强烈推荐他 |
| [20:22] | Dusty Nugget! | 达斯迪·纽杰特 |
| [20:27] | Okay! | 好咧 |
| [20:28] | It’s Dusty Nugget. Just “Nugget.” | 我叫达斯迪·纳格特 跟鸡肉块一个词 |
| [20:30] | Okay, kids, what do you say we keep that applause going | 好了 孩子们 能不能继续来一阵热烈的掌声 |
| [20:34] | for a special friend of mine I brought along to help us out? | 欢迎一位特殊的朋友好吗 他也是来帮忙的 |
| [20:37] | Let’s hear it for him! | 让他听到热情的掌声吧 |
| [20:42] | Yay! Thanks, Dusty Nugget. | 耶 谢谢 达斯迪·纳格特 |
| [20:45] | What a cool guy, huh, kids? | 真是个酷哥 对吧 孩子们 |
| [20:47] | Hi! I’m Healthy Hamilton. | 大家好 我是健康的汉密尔顿 |
| [20:50] | And, uh, what do you say we just start with some questions, huh? | 不如我们先问几个问题吧 |
| [20:53] | Do you have a penis? | 你有小鸡鸡吗 |
| [20:54] | Kevin! | 凯文 |
| [20:55] | No, it’s okay. | 不 没关系 |
| [20:56] | I prefer to think of it as a watering can. | 我更喜欢把它当做是一个”喷水壶” |
| [21:00] | So… You guys wanna hear the real? | 你们想听听真实情况吗 |
| [21:03] | Sleepover, my house, Saturday night. | 过夜派对 我家 周六晚 |
| [21:05] | I’ll tell you about spring break, | 我会跟你们说说春假啊 |
| [21:07] | – black spring break… – no! | -黑色春假 -不 |
| [21:09] | Uh, we’re gonna have a sleepover at my house Saturday night. | 我们周六晚会在我家举办过夜活动 |
| [21:12] | I just got… | 我有… |
| [21:14] | A bird that can talk! | 一只会说话的鸟 |
| [21:17] | So… Eddie’s house then? | 我看 还是选择埃迪家吧 |
| [21:21] | Yeah, they chose me, Brock. | 没错 他们选择了我 布洛克 |
| [21:23] | Talk to your bird about that. | 跟你的鸟去抱怨吧 |