| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Call me crazy. But this pizza just tastes less good. | 你们可以觉得我疯了 但这披萨真的没那么好吃了 |
| [00:05] | It’s right angle. Try to make us learn to lunch. | 没错 就是想让我们学会怎么好好吃午餐 |
| [00:09] | Eddie, it’s your girl. | 埃迪 你妹子来了 |
| [00:14] | Did she said hi? | 她打招呼了吗 |
| [00:16] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [00:16] | – Should I?! – I don’t know! | -我该打招呼吗 -我不知道 |
| [00:18] | – What is going on with you guys? – I don’t know. | -你们怎么不说话啊 -我不知道 |
| [00:20] | It’s been two weeks since the fall ball, | 舞会已经过去两个星期了 |
| [00:22] | and she hasn’t even talked to me… | 但她都没有跟我说过话 |
| [00:24] | which is crazy because that mess was mad romantic. | 真的太疯狂了 因为当时乱舞的时候浪漫到飞起 |
| [00:29] | She punched me in the armpit. | 她一拳打中我的胳肢窝 |
| [00:32] | It was amazing. | 感觉太美妙了 |
| [00:33] | Yeah, that night was crazy. | 对 那天晚上真疯狂 |
| [00:35] | Becca T. And I split a Capri sun, | 贝卡·踢和我共饮一杯可沛利饮料 |
| [00:37] | and now she just walks around like nothing even happened. | 但现在她却和我擦肩而过 好像什么都没发生过一样 |
| [00:41] | We shared a straw. | 我们可是共用一根吸管 |
| [00:42] | I feel you. | 我懂你的感觉 |
| [00:44] | Sarah S. Slapped a slap bracelet on me at the dance. | 萨拉·艾斯跳舞的时候把反扣手镯甩到我身上 |
| [00:47] | Where is it now? | 手镯现在在哪里 |
| [00:48] | I lost it in the collection plate at church. | 我把它落在教堂的奉献盘里了 |
| [00:50] | Now it belongs to Jesus. | 现在它属于耶稣了 |
| [00:52] | I just don’t get it. | 我就是想不明白 |
| [00:53] | I thought Alison really liked me. | 我以为艾莉森是真的喜欢我 |
| [00:56] | I guess I was wrong. | 但我想我错了 |
| [01:05] | Your girlfriend wanted me to give that to you. | 你女朋友要我给你的 |
| [01:12] | Wha-a-a-a… | 搞什么 |
| [01:17] | Right angle got caught in my pipe. | 我被披萨呛到了 |
| [01:41] | Talk to the boss’s wife. | 跟老板娘聊天 |
| [01:42] | It’s okay. She doesn’t hate you. It’s all in your head. | 没事的 她不讨厌你的 都是你自己胡思乱想而已 |
| [01:48] | How’s it going, Jessica? | 最近怎么样啊 杰西卡 |
| [01:50] | Are you joking? | 你在逗我吗 |
| [01:52] | I… if it was funny. Was it funny? | 我 如果好笑的话 你觉得好笑吗 |
| [01:54] | Nothing is funny, Nancy. | 一点都不好笑 南茜 |
| [01:56] | I bought an investment property | 我买了栋房子用来投资 |
| [01:58] | which, it turns out, is riddled with termites. | 结果发现房子里满是白蚁洞 |
| [02:01] | That’s right… termites are real. | 没错 白蚁是真的 |
| [02:04] | The house has already been tented, so now | 房子已经在清理中了 所以现在 |
| [02:06] | it’s just sort of standing there losing money… | 就是一栋矗在那的赔钱货 |
| [02:09] | kind of like you. | 跟你有点像啊 |
| [02:12] | You did it, Nancy. You made her see you. | 你做到了 南茜 你让她看见你了 |
| [02:15] | And then she said, “Squeeze ’em? | 然后她说 捏紧他们 |
| [02:17] | Uh, I bought ’em!” | 不好意思 我买了的 |
| [02:20] | Boss, some customers want to meet you. | 老板 有几位客人想要见你 |
| [02:22] | They’re celebrities… from television. | 他们是名人 电视上的 |
| [02:26] | I would like to introduce you | 我很荣幸为您介绍 |
| [02:27] | to Gus and Mey-Mey from “Good Morning Orlando.” | 来自《早安奥兰多》栏目的格斯和梅梅 |
| [02:34] | It’s okay. We’re on at 4:00 A.M. | 没关系 我们是凌晨四点档的 |
| [02:36] | Our core demo is truckers clocking on | 我们的核心观众群是刚上班的卡车司机 |
| [02:39] | and hookers clocking off. | 和下班的妓女 |
| [02:40] | Well, both are welcome here at Cattleman’s. | 欢迎他们光临牧场牛排餐厅 |
| [02:44] | I mean, as customers, not… we don’t encourage prostitution. | 我是说 作为消费者而来 不是 我们不鼓励卖淫 |
| [02:48] | Is this a sting? | 这是试探吗 |
| [02:49] | Because you have to show me your badge if I ask you. | 因为我要请你们亮出你们的证件 |
| [02:51] | Boss, their show is on Channel 7… | 老板 他们的节目在第七频道播出 |
| [02:52] | you know, with the duck. | 你知道的 那只鸭子 |
| [02:53] | – That does the weather. – The weather duck. | -播天气的那只 -那只天气鸭 |
| [02:55] | Oh. I love ducks. | 我爱鸭子 |
| [02:57] | Seriously, are you guys cops? | 说真的 你们是警察吗[模仿唐老鸭] |
| [03:02] | – Did you see that? – That was amazing! | -你瞧见了吗 -太有才了 |
| [03:05] | I really don’t do impre… | 我真的不模仿的 |
| [03:06] | Adrian! | 艾德里安 |
| [03:11] | Okay, you have to come on our show. | 好了 你得来上我们节目 |
| [03:13] | – Oh, no, I couldn’t. – You got to. | -不 我不行 -你必须得去 |
| [03:15] | Yes, the audience would eat that up, | 是的 观众们会很喜欢你的表演的 |
| [03:17] | and… and you can talk about your restaurant. | 还有 你可以讲讲你的餐厅 |
| [03:18] | He’ll do it! | 他会去的 |
| [03:25] | The exposure will increase business, | 曝光度会增加生意的 |
| [03:28] | which will help cover the unforeseen expenses | 有助于弥补投资房产上 |
| [03:30] | from the investment property. | 没预见到的开销 |
| [03:32] | What expenses? | 什么开销 |
| [03:33] | You were so funny today at the restaurant. | 你今天在餐厅里可有意思了 |
| [03:34] | Your impressions… they’re really getting better. | 你的模仿 真的越来越好了 |
| [03:36] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:38] | Boys, your father is going to be on “Good Morning Orlando.” | 孩子们 你们的爸爸要上《早安奥兰多》了 |
| [03:43] | With Gus and Mey-Mey? | 和格斯还有梅梅一起吗 |
| [03:44] | You just blew my mind! | 真是不可思议 |
| [03:46] | You just blew my… my flippin’ mind! | 真是太 太不可思议了 |
| [03:48] | You watch that show? | 你看那节目 |
| [03:50] | So that’s how you stay current. Huh. | 所以你才能保持在流行前线上啊 |
| [04:09] | What are you doing with your body? | 你扭成这样是在干嘛 |
| [04:11] | Celebrating. | 庆祝 |
| [04:12] | Alison is officially my girlfriend. | 艾莉森正式成为我的女朋友了 |
| [04:14] | What? When did that happen? | 什么 什么时候的事情 |
| [04:17] | Apparently, two weeks ago. | 很显然 是在两周之前 |
| [04:18] | I had no idea we were even dating. | 我甚至都不知道我们是在约会 |
| [04:20] | I guess that’s how things work in 7th grade. | 我想七年级的学生就是这样子的 |
| [04:23] | Love moves fast and quiet, like Miss Jackson says. | 正如杰克森小姐说的 爱情来无影去无踪 |
| [04:30] | Well, if grandma had been awake, she would’ve pressed “Play,” | 要是奶奶还醒着 她会按播放键的 |
| [04:33] | and Janet would have said, “That’s the Way Love Goes.” | 而珍妮特就会说 这就是爱 |
| [04:37] | No, grandma, wait. It’s too… | 不要 奶奶 等等 太 |
| [04:40] | Can’t fight the music. | 无法抵抗音乐的律动 |
| [04:45] | ‘Sup? ‘Sup? | 你好啊 你好啊 |
| [04:48] | ‘Sup? | 你好哇 |
| [04:49] | Eddie. We were just talking about Alison’s friends. | 埃迪 我们刚才在聊艾莉森的朋友们 |
| [04:52] | Ugh. I knew this was coming. | 呃 我就知道会是这样 |
| [04:55] | I wish I could hook you guys up with my girl’s homegirls, | 我希望我能帮你们钓到我妹纸的闺蜜们 |
| [04:57] | but you know why I can’t, right? | 但是你们知道为什么我不能 对吧 |
| [04:59] | – What? – You’re gonna make me say it? | -什么 -我非得说出来吗 |
| [05:01] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [05:03] | Brian, you need to grow. | 布莱恩 长点个吧 |
| [05:04] | Trent, dry-clean your jacket. | 特伦特 干洗下你的夹克吧 |
| [05:07] | Walter, racism. | 沃特 种族偏见 |
| [05:08] | And, Dave, I’m sorry, but you’re a teardown. | 还有 戴夫 不好意思 但是你已经玩完了 |
| [05:12] | We already have girlfriends! | 我们已经有女朋友了 |
| [05:13] | What?! Who? | 什么 谁 |
| [05:14] | Like we said… Alison’s friends. | 我们说过了 艾莉森的朋友们 |
| [05:18] | Apparently, we’ve all been dating since the fall ball. | 显然 我们继秋季舞会后就都在约会了 |
| [05:20] | Seriously? That’s awesome! | 真的假的 太棒了 |
| [05:22] | Guess you guys got my overflow… | 你们感受到我 |
| [05:24] | trickle down love-onomics. | 满到溢出来的爱了吧 |
| [05:26] | – Racism? – Why am I a teardown? | -种族偏见 -我怎么就玩完了 |
| [05:28] | Your girlfriends asked me | 你女朋友要我来问你 |
| [05:30] | to ask you if you guys want to group-date. | 你们愿不愿意来场集体约会 |
| [05:33] | The mall, today, 3:00, by the escalators. | 商场 今天 三点 自动扶梯那 |
| [05:36] | – Yeah. – Awesome! | -好啊 -太棒了 |
| [05:38] | Yeah. | 耶 |
| [05:38] | Wait. Why are you the messenger, Ned? | 等等 奈德 为什么是你传话 |
| [05:41] | Just be at the mall, man. | 乖乖去商场得了 |
| [05:48] | Now what? | 现在干嘛 |
| [05:50] | Look! | 看 |
| [05:55] | I-I guess we go up. | 我们上去吧 |
| [05:57] | All right. Let’s go up. | 好的 我们上去 |
| [06:04] | They’re coming down! | 她们下来了 |
| [06:07] | But we’re going up. | 但是我们在往上 |
| [06:10] | – Hey! – Hey! | -嘿 -嘿 |
| [06:12] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [06:16] | What just happened? | 刚刚发生了什么 |
| [06:17] | Should we go back down? | 我们要回到下面去吗 |
| [06:19] | They’re not turning around. | 她们没回头 |
| [06:21] | They’re walking into wet seal. | 她们走进维特希尔服装店了 |
| [06:23] | I…guess that was it. | 我猜这就结束了 |
| [06:26] | Cool! | 赞 |
| [06:27] | We just went on our first date! | 我们刚进行了我们的第一次约会 |
| [06:29] | Yeah! | 耶 |
| [06:31] | Celebrate with an Orange Julius? | 来杯鲜果露庆祝下 |
| [06:33] | Hell yeah, let’s do it! | 必须的 走吧 |
| [06:34] | Trent, your nose is bleeding, man. | 特伦特 你鼻子在流血 |
| [06:38] | Hell yeah, it is! | 必须的 是啊 |
| [06:41] | Good morning, Orlando. | 早上好 奥兰多 |
| [06:42] | We want to take you live to Mindy Torres | 现在来看看明迪·托雷斯在户外的 |
| [06:44] | out in the field with some breaking news. | 现场突发新闻报道 |
| [06:46] | -Mindy? -A hullabaloo was caused this morning | -明迪 -今早有些骚乱 |
| [06:48] | when an employee discovered an endangered gopher tortoise | 因为有个雇员发现了一只濒危的哥法地鼠龟 |
| [06:51] | blocking a rally’s drive-through. | 它挡住了莱利饭店的行车道 |
| [06:55] | People have placed their orders, but cars are unable | 人们已经点好单了 |
| [06:58] | to drive through to pick up their orders. | 但是车辆无法通过去取单 |
| [07:02] | I need hash browns! | 我要我的薯饼 |
| [07:03] | Of course, everyone’s first concern | 当然 人们首要考虑的还是 |
| [07:05] | is for the safety of the tortoise. | 那只乌龟的安全 |
| [07:07] | Coffee! | 咖啡 |
| [07:08] | Well, thank you, Mindy, and we will check back in | 嗯 谢谢你 明迪 |
| [07:10] | – with you in a few hours for an update. – Wait, what… | -我们一会再联系你了解最新进展 -等等 |
| [07:12] | I’ll tell you, Gus, | 我跟你说哦 格斯 |
| [07:13] | if a turtle was blocking me from my coffee, | 要是有只乌龟挡着我去取咖啡 |
| [07:16] | I’d super Mario it. | 我会像超级玛丽一样踩扁它 |
| [07:21] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [07:22] | Well, it’s time for the Gus-light, | 嗯 现在进入格斯之光 |
| [07:25] | where we shine a spotlight on local businesses. | 我们聚焦当地企业 |
| [07:27] | Joining us today is local entrepreneur… | 今日到场的节目嘉宾的是当地企业家 |
| [07:30] | Louis Huang. | 路易斯·黄 |
| [07:32] | Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to join us. | 感谢您百忙之中抽空参加我们的节目 |
| [07:34] | Well, thank you for, uh, having me. | 谢谢你邀请我 |
| [07:37] | Uh, as you know, my restaurant is Cattleman’s Ranch Steakhouse, | 呃 你知道的 我的餐馆是牧场牛排餐厅 |
| [07:41] | which is exit 4b, uh, off of I-4, uh, north. | 在4B 呃 I-4 呃 北边 |
| [07:47] | But if you’re coming south, it’s exit 4a off of I-4 south. | 但是要是你从南边来的话 地址在4A I-4南边 |
| [07:50] | – Great directions. – Yeah. | -很好的导航 -是的 |
| [07:52] | And in addition to being a cattleman, | 除去饭店老板的身份外 |
| [07:54] | Louis here is also a funnyman. | 路易斯还是个很有趣的人 |
| [07:58] | – He did some amazing – Right | -他前几天 -没错 |
| [08:00] | celebrity impressions for us the other day. | 模仿名人的表演真的非常棒 |
| [08:02] | Yes, he did. | 是 确实是 |
| [08:03] | I can’t see nothin’. | 我什么都看不见 |
| [08:05] | Cut my eyes, Mick. Cut ’em. | 挖了我的眼睛吧 迈克 挖了它们 |
| [08:06] | I can’t see. | 我看不见了 |
| [08:09] | Hey, Rocky Balboa is in the studio all of a sudden. | 嘿 像是洛奇·巴尔博亚到了我们演播室一样 |
| [08:12] | You got it! | 没错 |
| [08:14] | Why… why is that so funny? | 怎么 怎么这么好笑 |
| [08:16] | Because Stallone talks funny! | 因为史泰龙很搞笑 |
| [08:21] | You’re killing it! | 你太棒了 |
| [08:23] | You’re very good! | 你真棒 |
| [08:24] | What have you done? | 你都干了些什么 |
| [08:30] | You’re supposed to go out there | 你本该在那 |
| [08:31] | and promote the restaurant, not make a fool out of yourself. | 推广我们的餐馆 而不是做小丑 |
| [08:34] | Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, woman? You love my impressions. | 你在说什么 女士 你明明很喜欢我的模仿 |
| [08:37] | That was Arnold. | 那是阿诺德 |
| [08:38] | Not on television. | 不要在电视上玩这套 |
| [08:39] | What’s the difference? | 有什么区别啊 |
| [08:40] | Name one Chinese person on TV. | 举一个中国人上电视的例子 |
| [08:43] | Pat Morita. | 森田则之 |
| [08:44] | Japanese, and you know it. | 他是日本人 你知道的 |
| [08:45] | What’s your point? | 你想说什么 |
| [08:46] | We don’t get opportunities to be on TV. | 我们很难得在电视上露面 |
| [08:49] | That’s why when we do, we need to present our best face… | 也就是说当我们有机会时 要把我们最好的一面展现出来 |
| [08:53] | not clown around, like you did today. | 不是像你昨天那样扮丑 |
| [08:55] | They loved me. | 他们喜欢我 |
| [08:56] | You know what it reminded me of? | 你知道你让我想起什么了吗 |
| [08:58] | Your favorite character. | 你最喜欢的电影角色 |
| [09:00] | No. | 不 |
| [09:01] | From “Sixteen Candles.” | 《十六根蜡烛》 |
| [09:02] | Don’t say it. | 别说出来 |
| [09:03] | Long… Duk… Dong. | 龙德东 |
| [09:07] | Yeah, so, 3 bucks an hour to make little pizza tables… | 生产披萨盒子里的小桌子一小时能赚三美元 |
| [09:10] | not bad, right? | 挺好的 是吧 |
| [09:11] | Oh, here comes a cab. | 来了一辆出租车 |
| [09:12] | You should yell “Automobile!” | 你应该大声喊 汽车 |
| [09:14] | Ha ha. Right. | 哈哈 对啊 |
| [09:19] | Louis, you missed your opportunity, man. | 路易斯 你怎么能错失良机呢 |
| [09:21] | You should’ve yelled | 你应该大声喊 |
| [09:22] | “Oh, sexy girlfriend!” | 哦 性感的妹子 |
| [09:24] | Right. | 说得对 |
| [09:26] | Yeah. Yeah. | 是吧 |
| [09:29] | The Chinese guy in that movie | 那个电影里中国人的形象 |
| [09:30] | became what everybody thought all Chinese people were. | 让大家以为中国人都是如此 |
| [09:34] | He made people think that was okay. | 他让人们觉得这无可厚非 |
| [09:37] | That’s why when we get opportunities like this, | 所以当我们有这样的机会时 |
| [09:39] | it matters. | 要好好把握 |
| [09:40] | Look, I was just a person | 我只是一个小人物 |
| [09:42] | joking around on a morning talk show. | 在早晨脱口秀里谈笑风生 |
| [09:44] | This is not a Long Duk Dong situation. | 这和龙德东不是一码事 |
| [09:46] | Hello, dad. Saw the show. | 爸爸 你好 我看过节目了 |
| [09:49] | Very hurtful. | 我很受伤 |
| [09:50] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [09:51] | I taught you Donald Duck. | 唐老鸭是我教给你的 |
| [09:53] | And you stole it! | 你抄袭我 |
| [10:00] | Fellas, we’re doing it! | 伙计们 干得漂亮 |
| [10:03] | We livin’. | 不枉此生 |
| [10:04] | Remember when we went on the mall date | 还记得我们在商场 |
| [10:06] | with our girlfriends | 和女朋友约会的时候 |
| [10:07] | and they were like “Hi!” | 她们说嗨 |
| [10:08] | And we were like “Hi”? | 我们说嗨 |
| [10:13] | Dave. | 戴夫 |
| [10:14] | Becca G. Wants to break up with you. | 贝卡·吉要和你分手 |
| [10:19] | I don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
| [10:22] | I thought I was dating Sarah S. | 我以为我和萨拉·艾斯是一对 |
| [10:23] | What? No. | 什么 才不是呢 |
| [10:25] | I’m dating Sarah S. You’re dating Becca G. | 我和萨拉·艾斯在一起 你的女朋友是贝卡·吉 |
| [10:28] | Well, you were. | 好吧 前女友 |
| [10:29] | No, I’m dating Becca G. | 不 贝卡·吉是我女票 |
| [10:31] | But wait. Then why did she break up with you? | 等等 她为什么要和你分手 |
| [10:33] | Hold up. Did you just say “Becca G.” Or “Becca T.”? | 等一下 你刚才说的是贝卡·吉还是贝卡·踢 |
| [10:36] | ‘Cause I’m dating Becca T. | 因为贝卡·踢可是和我在一起呢 |
| [10:38] | I think. | 吧 |
| [10:39] | This is messed up. | 完全乱了 |
| [10:40] | You guys don’t even know who you’re dating?! | 你们连和谁约会都不清楚吗 |
| [10:42] | Do you? | 你知道吗 |
| [10:43] | Yeah, man. I’m dating Alison. | 当然了 我和艾莉森在一起呢 |
| [10:45] | How can you be so sure? | 你怎么能这么确定呢 |
| [10:47] | Because we really like each other, | 因为我们真心相爱 |
| [10:49] | and we danced in the mosh pit at the fall ball. | 而且我们在舞会的狂舞区一起跳舞 |
| [10:52] | She pushed me in the mosh pit, too. | 她在狂舞区也推了我一把 |
| [10:53] | Me too. | 加一 |
| [10:54] | Me too. | 加二 |
| [10:56] | Me too. | 加三 |
| [11:02] | Hey, we saw you on “Good Morning Orlando.” | 我们在《早安奥兰多》上看到你了 |
| [11:05] | Hilarious! | 太搞笑了 |
| [11:06] | Don’t push it, | 别逼我 |
| [11:07] | or I’ll give you a war you won’t believe. | 不然我会给你好看[《第一滴血》中的经典对白] |
| [11:10] | Automobile! | 汽车 |
| [11:14] | What did you just say? | 你刚才说什么 |
| [11:16] | I ordered the veal. | 我点了小牛肉 |
| [11:18] | He did. | 是这样的 |
| [11:19] | This guy cracks me up! | 这家伙真是逗死我了 |
| [11:21] | I’ll give you a war you won’t believe! | 我会给你好看 |
| [11:24] | Long… Duk… Dong! | 龙 德 东 |
| [11:26] | Automobile! | 汽车 |
| [11:29] | Sexy girlfriend! | 性感的妹子 |
| [11:33] | And then everyone was laughing, | 然后所有人都狂笑不止 |
| [11:35] | but in a gross way, which made me feel gross. | 笑得很恶心 让我也觉得有点恶心 |
| [11:37] | Are people laughing with me or at me? | 他们是在和我说笑 还是在笑话我呢 |
| [11:39] | At you. That’s what I was saying. | 笑话你 我之前是怎么说的 |
| [11:41] | I need to go back on that show. | 我得再去上一次节目 |
| [11:43] | I will iron your television pants. | 我去把你的上电视专用裤熨好 |
| [11:58] | So, Alison pushed us all in the mosh pit, | 这么说来 艾莉森在舞池推了我们每个人 |
| [12:01] | but were those pushes platonic or passionate? | 但她对谁才是真心真意的呢 |
| [12:05] | Evidence is inconclusive. | 证据还不够确切 |
| [12:07] | Who are you, woman? | 你到底是谁 女人 |
| [12:09] | Well, at least we know who you’re dating, Walter. | 至少我们知道你和谁约会了 沃特 |
| [12:11] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [12:13] | Well, you know… | 你懂的 |
| [12:14] | I’m just saying… | 我的意思是 |
| [12:17] | I-it’s the south. | 南方那个 |
| [12:19] | That’s messed up, man. | 真是胡说 |
| [12:21] | I mean, Edith is the one I like, but it’s unrelated. | 我的意思是 我的确喜欢伊迪丝 但这并不相关 |
| [12:26] | There’s got to be a way to figure out who our girlfriends are. | 肯定有办法弄清楚谁是我们的女票 |
| [12:28] | Why don’t you just ask them? | 你们为什么不直接问问她们 |
| [12:30] | You crazy, ese? | 你疯啦 |
| [12:32] | You have any idea how mad they’ll be at us? | 你知道她们会多生气吗 |
| [12:34] | – I think if you’re honest… – Just go away, okay? | -我认为如果你们能真诚地 -快走吧 好吗 |
| [12:36] | This is big-kid business. | 这是大孩子的正事儿 |
| [12:38] | Hey, I’m just here to get my tub of gak | 我只是来把你不问自取的 |
| [12:40] | you borrowed without asking. | 东西拿回去 |
| [12:44] | Of course there’s hair in it. | 果然里面有头发 |
| [12:50] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [12:54] | It’s one of the girls. | 是其中一个女孩 |
| [12:56] | Is it Becca G.? Did she get my letter? | 是贝卡·吉吗 她收到我的信了吗 |
| [12:59] | I’ll find out who it is. | 我会弄清楚她是谁 |
| [13:01] | Sorry about that. | 抱歉啦 |
| [13:02] | So, you like soda? | 你喜欢喝苏打水吗 |
| [13:04] | Mm-hmm. | 嗯哼 |
| [13:05] | Uh-huh. | 啊哈 |
| [13:07] | Yeah, sure. That sounds great. | 好的 听起来不错 |
| [13:10] | Peace. | 拜拜 |
| [13:12] | I don’t know who that was. | 我不知道是谁 |
| [13:15] | But the girls do want to have another group date… | 但是她们明天想去旱冰场 |
| [13:18] | at the roller rink tomorrow. | 再来一次集体约会 |
| [13:19] | That’s suicide! | 那简直是自杀 |
| [13:20] | They’ll bust us wide open, | 她们肯定会看穿我们 |
| [13:22] | and then none of us will have girlfriends. | 这样谁都别想有女朋友了 |
| [13:23] | I can’t go back to being single. | 我不要再做单身狗 |
| [13:25] | At the rink, all of us will fall down at the same time, | 在旱冰场我们一起摔倒 |
| [13:29] | and then the girl who’s our girlfriend | 这样我们的女朋友就会过来 |
| [13:31] | will come to help us because she loves us, | 因为她爱你 所以肯定会来拉你一把 |
| [13:34] | and then we’ll know who she is. | 然后就真相大白啦 |
| [13:38] | What if two girls help us up? Do we get two? | 要是有两个女孩来拉我呢 我就有两个女朋友了吗 |
| [13:41] | Well, we finally have an answer | 我们终于能够解答 |
| [13:43] | to that question everyone’s been asking… | 这个大家都在疑惑的问题了 |
| [13:45] | why doesn’t anybody move the damn thing? | 为什么没人把那玩意搬走 |
| [13:47] | Apparently, human touch | 很明显 人类的接触 |
| [13:49] | would render the endangered tortoise infertile. | 会导致濒危灭绝的乌龟不育 |
| [13:52] | Maybe that tortoise should try | 也许那只乌龟应该尝尝 |
| [13:53] | being an unmarried woman over 40. | 四十未嫁的滋味 |
| [13:55] | Oh! | 哦 |
| [13:56] | Stay strong, mind. He’s out there. | 坚强一点 明迪 真命天子会有的 |
| [13:59] | Yeah, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [14:00] | Nothing sadder than a woman over 27. | 没有什么比过了二十七岁的女人更悲剧了 |
| [14:02] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [14:02] | Next up, we have our old friend | 接下来 有请我们的老朋友 |
| [14:05] | who’s back in the studio… Louis Huang. | 路易斯·黄回到演播室 |
| [14:08] | Louis, you were cracking us up the other day | 路易斯 你前两天的模仿 |
| [14:10] | with your impressions. | 真是逗死我们了 |
| [14:12] | Well, you know, I’m glad I exist to entertain you. | 你知道的 我很高兴我的存在是为了取悦你 |
| [14:15] | So, do you do Bill Cosby? | 你会模仿比尔·考斯比吗 |
| [14:17] | I love him. | 我很喜欢他 |
| [14:19] | Me too. America’s moral compass. | 我也是 他是美国的道德指南针 |
| [14:22] | Well, you know, I’m already doing an impression. | 你知道吗 我已经在模仿了 |
| [14:26] | Of… of what? | 模仿什么 |
| [14:28] | A successful Chinese-American business owner | 一个努力工作付出的 |
| [14:31] | who’s worked hard for everything he has. | 成功的美籍华裔商人 |
| [14:37] | Uh, o-okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:38] | All right, how about we, uh… | 那不如这样吧 |
| [14:40] | How about we talk about your restaurant, right? | 我们谈谈你经营的饭店好吗 |
| [14:41] | Yeah! That seems to be what you want to… | 看起来你想和我们讲讲 |
| [14:43] | Okay. Well, it’s a steakhouse. | 好的 那是一家牛排餐馆 |
| [14:44] | – Oh, yum! – An American restaurant. | -好吃哒 -一家美式餐馆 |
| [14:46] | That’s right… Chinese people can make all kinds of food. | 没错 中国人能做各式各样的食物 |
| [14:49] | Oh! I made pot stickers once… from frozen. | 哦 我曾经做过锅贴 速冻的 |
| [14:52] | So, I-is that all Asian culture is to you… pot stickers? | 所以这就是你眼中的东方文化吗 锅贴 |
| [14:55] | No! No! I didn’t mean that. | 不 我不是这个意思 |
| [14:56] | You know what? Let’s talk about race. | 这样吧 我们聊一聊种族问题 |
| [14:57] | No, that’s a little too serious for the Gus-light… | 不 这话题有点太严肃了 |
| [14:59] | – Yeah! – …as far as I’m concerned. | -是啊 -我们换个话题吧 |
| [15:01] | Oh, okay. So you don’t want me to be serious? | 哦 是这样吗 你们不想让我认真起来 |
| [15:03] | You just want me to be joking around, be the clown. | 你们只想看我开玩笑扮丑吗 |
| [15:06] | “The Chinese guy’s on TV! Make everybody laugh!” | 电视上的那种中国人 逗大家笑的小丑 |
| [15:09] | Let’s go to commercial. | 让我们先看一段广告 |
| [15:12] | Why were you so serious?! | 你那么认真干嘛 |
| [15:14] | It’s a morning show. They have a duck that does the weather. | 那只是个早晨节目 他们还让一只鸭子报天气呢 |
| [15:16] | You told me that… | 是你告诉我 |
| [15:18] | y-you said they were laughing at… | 你说他们取笑我 |
| [15:20] | I… you got in my head! | 我被你洗脑了 |
| [15:21] | Well, now everybody thinks | 现在大家都觉得 |
| [15:23] | Chinese people have no sense of humor! | 中国人一点幽默感都没有 |
| [15:24] | What? Did they think we had one before? | 什么 他们之前没有过这种想法吗 |
| [15:26] | Well, I don’t know, but they definitely don’t now. | 我不知道 但现在他们肯定都这样认为了 |
| [15:28] | You need to go back out there | 你必须回去 |
| [15:30] | and show people that you can laugh at yourself. | 让他们知道你会自黑自嘲 |
| [15:33] | But be serious, too. | 但也要认真一点 |
| [15:35] | A couple of light jokes… nothing political. | 说一些轻松的笑话 不要讲政治 |
| [15:39] | But don’t be boring, either. | 但也不要太无聊 |
| [15:41] | Don’t make waves, but be interesting. | 别挑衅 有趣一点 |
| [15:45] | And pleasant. | 愉快一点 |
| [15:47] | And also smart. You should be smart. | 聪明一点 你应该聪明一点 |
| [15:50] | And tall. | 还要高一点 |
| [15:52] | You realize doing all that is impossible, right? | 你自己清楚这些全部达标是不可能的吧 |
| [15:56] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [15:58] | I just want it to be perfect. | 我只是想十全十美 |
| [16:00] | Well, one person can’t be everything. | 毕竟一个人不是万能的 |
| [16:03] | That weather duck isn’t going out there | 天气鸭出来做节目的时候 |
| [16:05] | thinking about representing all ducks. | 也没想着要代表所有鸭子 |
| [16:07] | No, he’s probably thinking | 他可能是在想着 |
| [16:08] | “What the heck is going on here?” | “现在又发生了什么破事” |
| [16:12] | Oh, that’s not funny! That’s not funny. | 噢太好笑了 不好笑 |
| [16:14] | Yes, it is, and it’s okay that it’s funny. | 就是好笑 好笑一点没关系的 |
| [16:17] | And sometimes a guy doing an impression | 有时候一个人在模仿别人的时候 |
| [16:19] | is just a guy doing an impression. | 也只是单纯在模仿 |
| [16:21] | Okay. Fine. | 好吧 |
| [16:24] | Then go back on the show and just be yourself. | 那就重新回到节目上 做你真实的自己 |
| [16:27] | I’m banned from the studio. | 我被逐出演播室了 |
| [16:30] | Maybe you don’t have to go back into the studio. | 或许你不一定要回到演播室 |
| [16:38] | Okay, guys, remember the plan… | 好了 兄弟们 记住我们的计划 |
| [16:40] | same time, fall. | 同一时间 摔倒 |
| [16:42] | Whichever girl comes to each of us, that’s our girlfriend. | 谁来扶我们 就是我们的女朋友 |
| [16:45] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [16:55] | Damn it, Brian! | 我去 布莱恩 |
| [16:57] | We’re supposed to fall together! | 我们应该一起摔的 |
| [16:58] | I have weak ankles. | 我的脚踝很柔弱的 |
| [17:00] | Couples skate. Grab your partner’s hand. | 情侣溜冰 抓住你搭档的手 |
| [17:04] | Come on. Let’s skate. | 来吧 我们一起去溜冰 |
| [17:13] | Later, nerds. | 一会见 呆子们 |
| [17:24] | That’s it. I’m going in. | 不管了 我豁出去了 |
| [17:27] | Ew! | 咦 |
| [17:28] | Why are you grabbing my hand? | 你干嘛抓我的手 |
| [17:30] | I thought you were my girlfriend. | 我以为你是我女朋友 |
| [17:32] | What are you talking about, Trent? I’m your girlfriend. | 你在说什么 特伦特 我才是你女朋友 |
| [17:34] | How do you not know who your own girlfriend is? | 你怎么可以连自己的女朋友都不知道是哪个 |
| [17:37] | Hey! Leave him alone! | 嘿 别针对他 |
| [17:38] | None of us knew who we were dating. | 我们都不知道我们女朋友是谁 |
| [17:40] | What?! | 什么 |
| [17:41] | Why you gonna tell them that? | 你干嘛要告诉她们 |
| [17:42] | Wait… you didn’t know we were dating? | 等等 你不知道我们在交往吗 |
| [17:45] | I mean, I did, but, you know, | 我的意思是 我知道 但是 |
| [17:46] | you pushed a lot of people in the mosh pit, | 你在群魔乱舞区推过很多人 |
| [17:48] | so I made an evidence board and… | 所以我做了个证据板 然后 |
| [17:50] | I can’t believe this. | 简直难以相信 |
| [17:53] | Couple coming through! | 秀恩爱的来了 |
| [17:59] | Breaking news… | 重大消息 |
| [18:01] | another tortoise has appeared in the shrubbery, | 又有一只乌龟出现在灌木丛里 |
| [18:04] | in an apparent effort | 很显然 |
| [18:06] | to guide the first tortoise to safety. | 它在尽力引导第一只乌龟回到安全地方 |
| [18:08] | Oh… | 噢 |
| [18:09] | Um, I’m glad you said that, uh, Mindy. | 额 很高兴听到你这么说 明迪 |
| [18:11] | Sorry to barge in like this, | 很抱歉这样打断你们 |
| [18:12] | but they banned me from the studio. | 但他们把我逐出演播室了 |
| [18:14] | Uh, Gus, Mey-Mey… | 格斯 梅梅 |
| [18:15] | I just want to apologize for yesterday. | 我只是想为昨天的事道歉 |
| [18:17] | I wasn’t myself, and, uh, you know, | 那不是真正的我 你们知道 |
| [18:20] | myself is… is all I can be, really, | 我能做到的 就是我自己 真的 |
| [18:22] | and occasionally a smooth criminal. | 有时候也是个犯罪高手[迈克尔·杰克逊作品之一] |
| [18:25] | Shamone! Eee-hee! | 来吧[迈克尔·杰克逊自创的发音] |
| [18:30] | Look at that. Hey, forget about the Jackson 5. | 你看 嘿 别说杰克逊五兄弟了[迈克尔·杰克逊的组合] |
| [18:32] | We got the Jackson 6 right here. | 现在有个六兄弟了 |
| [18:34] | Oh! | 噢 |
| [18:36] | I can’t believe you get paid more than me. | 我不敢相信你工资比我还高 |
| [18:38] | Ooh! | 呼 |
| [18:40] | Ah! Ah! | 啊 啊 |
| [18:41] | Michael Jackson?! | 迈克尔·杰克逊 |
| [18:43] | I taught him that! | 这也是我教他的 |
| [18:45] | Ooh! | 哦 |
| [18:52] | Did you figure out your “Big-kids business”? | 你解决好你的“大孩子问题”了吗 |
| [18:58] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [18:59] | I screwed things up with Alison. | 我搞砸了我和艾莉森的关系 |
| [19:02] | I really liked her, and I don’t know what to do. | 我真的很喜欢她 我不知道怎么做 |
| [19:05] | Have you tried talking to her? | 你有试过和她聊聊吗 |
| [19:07] | No. | 没有 |
| [19:08] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [19:10] | Well, ’cause I don’t think | 因为我觉得 |
| [19:12] | that’s how they do things in seventh grade. | 七年级谈恋爱不是这么做的 |
| [19:14] | How’s that working for you? | 结果呢 |
| [19:19] | Alison. | 艾莉森 |
| [19:22] | Hey, you got anything to say to her, | 嘿 如果你要和她说话 |
| [19:24] | you can pass a note through me. | 你可以传纸条给我 |
| [19:25] | It’s okay, Ned. | 没事的 奈德 |
| [19:29] | I’m listening. | 我听着 |
| [19:32] | To be honest, I didn’t even know we were dating, | 说实话 我甚至都不知道我们在交往 |
| [19:34] | and when I found out we were, | 然后等我发现原来是真的 |
| [19:36] | I didn’t want to do anything to mess it up, | 我不想出任何差池 |
| [19:38] | because I like you a lot. | 因为我很喜欢你 |
| [19:39] | And I don’t know if we’re supposed to be saying that | 我也不知道七年级了我们还能不能 |
| [19:42] | in seventh grade or if we’re supposed to be | 这么说话 也不知道这段对话 |
| [19:44] | having this conversation on an escalator. | 是否应该发生在电梯上 |
| [19:46] | I don’t know how any of this works. | 我一点都不知道应该怎么做 |
| [19:49] | Yeah. It’s weird. | 是啊 很别扭 |
| [19:50] | I had so much fun with you at the fall ball, | 秋季舞会的时候我和你玩的很开心 |
| [19:52] | but then my friends were like, “You can’t talk to him. | 但我的朋友都说 你不能和他讲话 |
| [19:55] | You’re dating him.” | 你在和他交往呢 |
| [19:56] | Well, I’m sorry we broke up. | 好吧 我很遗憾我们分手了 |
| [19:58] | – Broke up? We didn’t break up. – We didn’t? | -分手 我们没分手啊 -没吗 |
| [20:00] | No. That was our first fight, and we got through it. | 没有 那只是我们的第一次争吵 我们也安然度过了 |
| [20:03] | We did? | 没事了 |
| [20:04] | Yes. And now we’re stronger than ever. | 嗯 我们的感情更加坚固了 |
| [20:07] | A’ight. A’ight. | 没错 没错 |
| [20:08] | So, are all my friends still dating your friends? | 那么 我的朋友还在和你的朋友交往吗 |
| [20:11] | Oh, hell no. | 噢 才没有呢 |
| [20:12] | In fact, they shouldn’t come around for a while… | 说句实话 他们最近还是别凑过来了 |
| [20:14] | especially Dave. | 尤其是戴夫 |
| [20:16] | A’ight. A’ight. | 没错 没错 |
| [20:17] | That makes sense. | 很有道理 |
| [20:18] | Walk me to class? | 送我去上课吗 |
| [20:20] | Okay, but just so I’m clear… | 好的 但只是想问清楚 |
| [20:22] | you’re my girlfriend? | 你是我女朋友吧 |
| [20:23] | Yes. | 嗯 |
| [20:25] | I’ll explain on the way. Come on. | 我在路上和你解释清楚 走吧 |
| [20:32] | The number-one dating rule is to listen to a woman. | 谈恋爱的第一大准则就是 听女人说话 |
| [20:36] | “Listen… To… Her.” | 听 她 说话 |
| [20:39] | – What if what she’s saying is, uh… – Boring? | 如果她说的东西很无聊呢 |
| [20:43] | You should still be listening to her. | 你也应该听她说 |
| [20:45] | Even if she’s talking about horses? | 如果她谈论的是马呢 |
| [20:47] | Especially when she’s talking about horses. | 尤其是她在谈论马的时候 |
| [20:49] | What if you’re scared of horses? | 如果你怕马呢 |
| [20:51] | Don’t be scared of horses! | 那就别怕马 |
| [20:56] | “Don’t… Be… Scared… Of horses.” | 别 怕 马 |