| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Hey, gang. Great news. | 嘿 同志们 有个好消息 |
| [00:04] | Popcorn Chicken is back?! | 是劲爆鸡米花杀回来了吗 |
| [00:05] | No, Popcorn Chicken is not back. | 不是 劲爆鸡米花没杀回来 |
| [00:07] | A TV crew is going to shoot an infomercial | 一个电视团队要在牧场牛排餐馆 |
| [00:09] | at Cattleman’s Ranch! | 拍一个广告宣传片 |
| [00:11] | Whoa, cool! | 哇 棒棒哒 |
| [00:12] | An infomercial? What’s that? | 广告宣传片 那是什么 |
| [00:13] | It’s like a commercial, but longer. | 就像是广告 但是更长一点 |
| [00:15] | And they come on late at night. | 它们一般在深更半夜播出 |
| [00:16] | I watch them when I can’t sleep | 我被奶奶穿墙入耳的呼噜声 |
| [00:17] | because of Grandma’s snoring through the wall. | 吵得睡不着的时候就看它们 |
| [00:24] | How are you gonna serve food | 要是有一堆拍摄组工作人员 |
| [00:25] | if there’s a bunch of TV people running around the restaurant? | 在餐馆里来回乱逛那你要怎么上菜啊 |
| [00:28] | We’re closing the restaurant for the day. | 那天我们准备歇业一天 |
| [00:29] | They’re paying us a generous location fee. | 他们会付我们一大笔场地租借费 |
| [00:31] | They’re paying you to not serve food? | 他们给你钱让你不用上菜 |
| [00:33] | I love it. Great scam. | 对我胃口 这骗术不错 |
| [00:36] | Some of those infomercials are so cool. | 有的广告宣传片真是太酷炫了 |
| [00:38] | Dad, would it be okay if I went down to the restaurant to watch? | 爸爸 我可以去餐馆旁观吗 |
| [00:42] | Hmm. Can I get my son into my own restaurant? | 嗯 能不能把我儿子弄进我自己的餐馆 |
| [00:45] | I’ll see if I can pull some strings. | 我会看看能不能给你走走后门什么的 |
| [00:47] | Oh, um, I’m actually busy. | 嗯 我可是很忙的 |
| [00:50] | That’s okay. You don’t have to come. | 没事 你也不用来 |
| [00:51] | Oh, okay. I see how it is. | 哦 我懂你的套路了 |
| [00:55] | This will only make me stronger! | 你这样只会让我更坚强 |
| [01:02] | Where is my papaya? | 我的木瓜呢 |
| [01:04] | Excuse me? | 什么 |
| [01:05] | My papaya. I was saving it. | 我的木瓜 我留下来的 |
| [01:07] | My morning papaya is my one moment of joy, | 早上一个木瓜就是我的幸福时光 |
| [01:09] | the thing that gets me ready for the day, | 一日之计在于瓜 |
| [01:11] | and someone ate my papaya. | 现在被人偷吃了 |
| [01:21] | Oh! Okay, it was me. | 我认输 是我吃的 |
| [01:22] | I knew it! Evan, what’s that thing you learned in church? | 我就知道 埃文 你在教堂学到的那个事是什么 |
| [01:24] | Turn the other cheek. | 有容乃大 |
| [01:25] | No, the other thing about Bible justice? | 不是 是关于圣经上的公正的事 |
| [01:27] | – An eye for an eye? – That’s the one. | -以眼还眼 -就是它了 |
| [01:30] | Hey, that’s the last of the Lucky Charms! | 嘿 那是最后剩的一点麦片幸运星了 |
| [01:32] | You eat my papaya, I eat your cereal. | 你吃了我的木瓜 我就吃你的麦片 |
| [01:38] | Purple horseshoe? | 紫色的马蹄 |
| [01:40] | Is this some kind of a political thing? What is this? | 是跟政治有什么关系吗 这是什么鬼 |
| [02:03] | Bananas. That’s all I get. | 香蕉皮 我就能得到这点东西吗 |
| [02:05] | Can’t a brother get a red shell? | 就不能给兄弟来点红色龟壳吗 |
| [02:07] | Eddie, you’re not gonna believe it. | 埃迪 说出来你肯定不信 |
| [02:09] | Don’t distract me. I’m on Rainbow Road. | 别打扰我 我正打到彩虹赛道这一关了 |
| [02:10] | There’s no guardrails. | 这关没有护栏 |
| [02:12] | Eddie, put the joystick down. | 埃迪 把游戏手柄放下 |
| [02:17] | I just had lunch at my white friend Zack’s house, | 我刚刚在我的白人朋友扎克家吃午饭的时候 |
| [02:19] | and I saw something. | 看到了一个东西 |
| [02:21] | Delicious lunch, Mr. And Mrs. Z. | 午餐很可口 Z先生Z太太 |
| [02:24] | Can I help with the dishes? | 我来帮你刷盘子吧 |
| [02:25] | You relax. I’ll just put them in the machine. | 你歇着吧 我把这些盘子放在机器里就行了 |
| [02:42] | I don’t get it. | 我没懂 |
| [02:43] | Why would she put dirty plates in the drying rack? | 她为什么要把盘子放到晾碗盘架上呢 |
| [02:45] | That’s just it, Eddie. It’s not a drying rack. | 重点就在这里 埃迪 那不是晾碗盘架 |
| [02:48] | It’s a dishwasher. | 那是一个洗碗机 |
| [02:49] | You mean the thing we put our dishes in | 你的意思是我们在水槽里洗好盘子以后 |
| [02:51] | after we wash them in the sink? | 把它们放到里面的那个东西吗 |
| [02:53] | The drying rack. | 就是晾碗盘架啊 |
| [02:54] | Darn it, Edwyn! That’s what I’m telling you! | 麻哒 埃德温 我一直在跟你说 |
| [02:56] | It’s a machine | 那是个可以 |
| [02:58] | that washes the dishes for you. | 给你洗盘子的机器 |
| [03:01] | With jets of water that shoot on the plates. | 有那么一小股水流射到盘子上 |
| [03:06] | I’m sorry. I get emotional just thinking about it. | 不好意思 光想想我的眼泪都要掉下来了 |
| [03:12] | The one at Zack’s house looks just like it. | 扎克家的那个跟这台就一模一样 |
| [03:15] | Only it had buttons. | 不过那台上面有按钮 |
| [03:17] | Is that tape? | 那不是胶带吗 |
| [03:23] | The controls! | 是控制按钮 |
| [03:25] | Super Rinse, Heavy Duty. | 超能冲洗 强力洁净 |
| [03:27] | Pots and Pans? | 盆和锅 |
| [03:28] | What are you boys doing? | 你们干什么呢 |
| [03:31] | We’ve had a dishwasher this whole time? | 我们一直有一台洗碗机 |
| [03:33] | Why haven’t we been using it? | 为什么我们不用它 |
| [03:34] | Because this family doesn’t believe in dishwashers. | 因为我们家族不相信洗碗机这种存在 |
| [03:36] | It was there when we moved in. We’ll never use it. | 我们搬来的时候它就在这儿了 咱们永远都不会用到它 |
| [03:38] | Why not? Because it’s wasteful. | -为什么不用 -因为这是一种奢侈 |
| [03:41] | It makes you soft, and it’s hard on the dishware. | 它会让你变得软弱 而且它对餐具有伤害 |
| [03:43] | Chinese people respect their nice plates. | 我们中国人对好盘子有景仰之情 |
| [03:46] | That’s why they’re called “China.” | 这就是为什么它们被称为 中国瓷器 |
| [03:47] | But… No dishwasher! | -但是 -不准用洗碗机 |
| [03:49] | Wash and dry dishes the usual way. | 给我用平时的方法洗完擦干 |
| [03:51] | Ooh! It has a setting for crystal. | 居然还有专门洗水晶餐具的按钮 |
| [03:55] | What a gentle beast. | 真是头刚柔并济的小野兽呢 |
| [04:00] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [04:02] | Whoa! | 哇 |
| [04:05] | This is amazing. | 这真是太棒了 |
| [04:07] | Ah, Louis. Hey, the place looks great. | -路易斯 -嘿 这里看起来很不错啊 |
| [04:09] | This is my son Emery. This is Reggie, the director. | 这是我儿子埃默里 这是雷吉 那个导演 |
| [04:12] | Hi, Emery. Are you here to see how an infomercial is made? | 嗨 埃默里 你是来这里见证一个广告宣传片是如何诞生的吗 |
| [04:15] | It’s so glamorous. What do you call these things? | 太吸引人了 你们业界是怎么叫这些东西的 |
| [04:19] | Uh, lights. | 灯具 |
| [04:21] | Lights. | 是灯具啊 |
| [04:23] | Okay, settle down. | 好了 冷静点 |
| [04:24] | Oh. “The On-Gun”? | 哦 洋枪 |
| [04:27] | It’s “The Un-Gun.” It’s a Salad Shooter for onions. | 是 阳枪 这是一种专为洋葱打造的沙拉喷射器 |
| [04:30] | Oh. Well, why not call it “The Gunion”? | 哦 好吧 为什么不叫 喷葱枪 呢 |
| [04:34] | Hey, mister, wh-where were you | 嘿 我们这三天创意大会的时候 |
| [04:36] | during our three-day creative retreat, huh? | 你跑哪儿去了 |
| [04:38] | It took you three days to come up with On-Gun? | 你们花了整整三天才想出来 洋枪 这种烂名字 |
| [04:40] | A lot of it was, uh, you know, like, volleyball. | 呃 我们当时大多数时间都在打排球来着 |
| [04:44] | Oh. And then there was a swimming party at the end. | 而且最后还开了个泳池派对 |
| [04:47] | Hello, hello, hello! | 大家好哇 |
| [04:49] | Oh. You must be the proprietor of this fine establishment. | 你一定就是这个上等企业的经营者了 |
| [04:52] | Oh, “Proprietor.” I like that. Sounds fancy. | 经营者 我喜欢这个称呼 听上去真高级 |
| [04:54] | Hi, I’m Louis… | 嗨 我是路易斯 |
| [04:55] | “Proprietor.” | 经营者 |
| [04:56] | Tony Wonder at your service. | 托尼·旺德听候您的吩咐 |
| [04:58] | Oh! I’ve seen a bunch of your infomercials. | 我看了无数个您的广告宣传片 |
| [05:01] | My favorite is the Dyna-Broom. | 我最喜欢的是电动扫帚的那个 |
| [05:03] | Always nice to meet a fan. | 跟粉丝见面总是愉快的 |
| [05:05] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [05:07] | “Keep it squiggy. Tony.” | 保持活力 托尼 |
| [05:10] | Oh, thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [05:12] | I guess I’ll just hold onto this. | 我看我就坚持不放了 |
| [05:15] | Bad news, boss. Our Salad Eater just called in sick. | 坏消息 老板 吃沙拉的那个人刚请了病假 |
| [05:18] | What?! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! | 什么 不不不不不要啊 |
| [05:20] | Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh! | 不不不不不不不 |
| [05:22] | What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? | 怎么办 怎么办 |
| [05:23] | We need somebody to eat the salad and then… Oh, boy. | 我需要有人在镜头前吃沙拉啊 天哪 |
| [05:26] | I have an idea. | 我有个主意 |
| [05:27] | Why doesn’t Louis play our Salad Eater? | 为什么不让路易斯扮演这个吃沙拉的角色呢 |
| [05:29] | – Really, me? – Really, him? | -真的吗 让我来 -真的吗 让他来 |
| [05:31] | Wait a minute. Yeah. | 等等 对啊 |
| [05:32] | No. I… Hold on. | 等 等一下 |
| [05:35] | Yeah. Yes. | 就这样 |
| [05:38] | Yeah! I like it. | 就这样 很上镜啊 |
| [05:40] | Yeah, yeah. All right. | 就这样 不错啊 |
| [05:42] | Huzzah! This calls for a souvenir. | 好哇 给你当纪念品 |
| [05:45] | Oh, no. I-I-I-I… | 哦 不用 我我我 |
| [05:46] | “Welcome to the cast, Louie baby.” | 欢迎成为卡司一员 路易宝宝 |
| [05:49] | Well, thank you. | 谢谢了 |
| [05:50] | Now we don’t have to fight over just the one. | 现在我们两个不用去争那一个了 |
| [05:53] | Let’s go. | 来吧 |
| [06:26] | It’s warm. | 还是暖和的 |
| [06:30] | Disobedience. | 居然敢不服 |
| [06:34] | # Man, the panic, funkmode # | #兄弟 这恐慌 是放克模式# |
| [06:35] | # Mechanical mix flows # | #机械混音夹杂着人潮# |
| [06:36] | # Competition in my dojo # | #我的道馆里充斥着竞争# |
| [06:38] | # In my dojo # | #我的道馆里# |
| [06:39] | # In my dojo # | #我的道馆里# |
| [06:40] | # In my do… # | #我的道馆# |
| [06:43] | Eddie, I specifically told you not to use the dishwasher. | 埃迪 我特意告诉过你不准用洗碗机的 |
| [06:46] | – I didn’t! – Then why are the plates warm? | -我没用 -那为什么那些盘子还是暖和的 |
| [06:48] | It’s Florida. Everything’s warm. | 这里是佛罗里达 所有东西都是暖和的 |
| [06:51] | Okay. Maybe someone used the dishwasher, but it wasn’t me. | 好吧 可能有人用了洗碗机 但是不是我用的 |
| [06:54] | I wash dishes by hand, the stupid way. | 我是用蠢办法手洗的盘子 |
| [06:57] | Let me see your hands. | 让我看看你的手 |
| [06:58] | If your fingers look like raisins, | 如果你的手指看起来像葡萄干一样皱皱巴巴的 |
| [07:00] | I’ll know you’re telling the truth. | 我就知道你在说实话了 |
| [07:02] | They were wrinkly before, but they plumped already. | 我的手之前是起皱了 但是它们已经膨胀起来了 |
| [07:05] | I know what’s going on here… I’m being profiled! | 我知道是怎么回事了 我在你心里已经有固定形象了 |
| [07:08] | Profiled? | 固定形象 |
| [07:09] | Every time something bad happens, | 每次一有坏事发生 |
| [07:11] | you assume I’m the one who did it. | 你就下意识的觉得是我干的 |
| [07:12] | I’m a victim of institutional bias. | 我就是惯性偏见的受害者 |
| [07:14] | What? How do you know these words? | 什么 这些词你是怎么知道的 |
| [07:17] | Oh, I can’t know things?! Another assumption. | 我就不能有知识吗 又是一个想当然 |
| [07:20] | No allowance, three weeks. | 罚你三周没有零花钱 |
| [07:22] | I’m not paying you to do chores that a machine is doing for you. | 我不是花钱让一个机器来帮你做家务的 |
| [07:25] | But I was saving up to buy an N64 | 但是我正在存钱买任天堂64[家用游戏机] |
| [07:27] | and play “GoldenEye” The day it comes out. | 然后等《007黄金眼》出来之后玩呢 |
| [07:29] | Oddjob’s gonna bust a cap in some fools. | 奥德乔布要手刃一些蠢货了 |
| [07:31] | Hearing what you want to do with that money | 听你说你把钱花哪里去了 |
| [07:33] | only makes me know I’m doing the right thing. | 只会让我更肯定我做的事是对的 |
| [07:34] | You’re stressing me out. I need to eat. | 你都把我逼饿了 我得吃点东西 |
| [07:45] | Okay, Louis, are you ready to eat some salad? | 好吧 路易斯 你准备好吃沙拉了吗 |
| [07:48] | Call me the Titanic, | 管我叫泰坦尼克号吧 |
| [07:49] | ’cause I’m about to tear into some iceberg. | 因为我就要大吃冰块了[撞上冰山] |
| [07:51] | Great. | 好吧 |
| [07:52] | So, for this first shot, Tony’s gonna demonstrate the Un-Gun. | 所以 第一个镜头 托尼会展示阳枪 |
| [07:55] | And then he’ll ask, “And how does it work on those salads?” | 然后他会问 让我们看看做出来的沙拉怎么样 |
| [07:58] | At which point, we will pan over to you, | 这个时候 我们把镜头切给你 |
| [07:59] | and you’re gonna say your line, which is, | 你就说你的台词 就是 |
| [08:01] | “Onions, shallots, scallions… It does it all!” | 洋葱 胡葱 大葱 统统拿下 |
| [08:03] | And then you eat some salad. | 然后你就吃两口沙拉 |
| [08:04] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [08:06] | Hey, um, that thing I said about the Titanic earlier, | 嘿 我刚刚说的关于泰坦尼克的笑话 |
| [08:08] | I didn’t mean to offend anyone. | 我不是故意冒犯的 |
| [08:10] | That was a huge tragedy. | 那是场巨大的悲剧 |
| [08:12] | All right. Places everyone! Here we go. | 好了 各就各位 准备开拍 |
| [08:14] | Hi, Dad. I just wanted to wish you good luck. | 爸爸 我只想来祝你好运 |
| [08:16] | Uhp. In showbiz, we say “Break a leg.” | 在演艺圈 我们管这叫 大放异彩 |
| [08:19] | Wishing someone good luck is actually bad luck. | 祝人好运实际上代表坏运 |
| [08:21] | – Good to know. – Hmm. | -涨知识了 -嗯 |
| [08:22] | I’m surprised how calm you are. | 我很惊讶你居然这么冷静 |
| [08:24] | If I were in your shoes, I’d be so nervous. | 如果我是你 我肯定紧张死了 |
| [08:26] | Nervous? Why? | 紧张 为什么 |
| [08:28] | This infomercial is gonna be seen by hundreds of people, | 这个广告宣传片会在好几百人前播放 |
| [08:31] | every one of them dissecting your performance, | 他们每个人都剖析着你的表演 |
| [08:33] | wondering, “Why this guy? | 心里想 这人是谁啊 |
| [08:35] | Why does he get to be the Salad Eater?” | 为什么他可以上镜当那个吃沙拉的人 |
| [08:38] | It’s like they’re setting you up for failure. | 就像他们有意想看你出糗一样 |
| [08:40] | Okay. Break all your legs! | 好了 大胆地大放异彩吧 |
| [08:43] | And let’s roll cameras. | 现在机位准备 |
| [08:45] | Rolling. | 准备 |
| [08:48] | And… action! | 开拍 |
| [08:49] | The Un-Gun. | 阳枪 |
| [08:50] | It’s so easy, the only thing you’ll be crying about | 操作就这么简单 唯一会让你流泪的是 |
| [08:53] | is not getting one sooner. | 后悔没有早点入手 |
| [08:58] | And how does it work on that salad? | 让我们看看做出来的沙拉怎么样 |
| [09:01] | Onions, shallions, scallots… It does all of them! | 洋葱 胡中 大重 统统拿下 |
| [09:04] | Okay, cut. | 好 停 |
| [09:06] | How was that? | 我做得怎么样 |
| [09:07] | Uh, you just mixed up some of the words. | 这个 你把几个单词弄混了 |
| [09:09] | The line is, “Onions, shallots, scallions… It does it all.” | 台词是”洋葱 胡葱 大葱 统统拿下” |
| [09:11] | What did I say? | 我说的是什么 |
| [09:13] | You said something different, but it doesn’t matter. | 你说了别的什么 不过没关系 |
| [09:14] | Let’s do it again. Let’s, uh, roll camera. | 我们再来一遍 机位准备 |
| [09:16] | Rolling. | 准备 |
| [09:18] | And… action! | 开拍 |
| [09:19] | And how does it work on that salad? | 让我们看看做出来的沙拉怎么样 |
| [09:22] | Onions, shillions, skillets… It does them all! | 洋葱 葱大 煮锅 统统拿下 |
| [09:25] | Cut. | 停 |
| [09:26] | Onions, shallots, sicillians… It does them all! | 洋葱 胡葱 羽纱 统统拿下 |
| [09:29] | Okay, cut. | 行了 停 |
| [09:30] | Onions, garlic, galleons… It does them all! | 洋葱 大蒜 大船 统统拿下 |
| [09:34] | Onions, onions, onions… | 洋葱 洋葱 洋葱 |
| [09:36] | And cut. Cut, cut, cut. Onions, onions. | -停 停 停 -洋葱 洋葱 |
| [09:38] | Louis. What? | -路易斯 -什么 |
| [09:39] | Onions, scallions, shallots. It do… | 洋葱 大葱 胡葱 同同 |
| [09:42] | “It do.” | “同同” |
| [09:44] | Onions, scallions, shallots… It does them all! | 洋葱 大葱 胡葱 统统拿下 |
| [09:47] | Oh! I’m supposed to eat after the line. Sorry. | 噢 我该说完再吃的 对不起 |
| [09:51] | Onions, shallions… Kyle, you’re in the sho… | -洋葱 胡中 -凯尔 你挡着摄… |
| [09:54] | Onions, shal… Oop! | 洋葱 胡 噢 |
| [09:56] | Oh, I got dressing on my sleeve. | 噢 袖子上沾上沙拉酱了 |
| [09:58] | Onions, shallots, scallions. | 洋葱 胡葱 大葱 |
| [10:02] | Line? | 忘词了 |
| [10:04] | Cut. | 停 |
| [10:06] | Forget it. Louis, I’m so tired. | 算了吧 路易斯 我真累了 |
| [10:12] | Good tea. | 这茶真好 |
| [10:14] | Why are you whispering? | 你怎么说话这么小声 |
| [10:15] | I’m saving my voice for the infomercial tomorrow. | 我得留着嗓子明天拍广告宣传片 |
| [10:18] | You’re not done yet? You were there till midnight. | 还没拍完吗 弄到半夜你才回来 |
| [10:20] | I had a little trouble getting the line. | 我说台词时总不顺 |
| [10:22] | But they said it was no big deal. | 不过他们说问题不大 |
| [10:23] | We just have to shoot again tomorrow. | 明天接着拍就行了 |
| [10:25] | Which means an extra day of location fees. | 这样我们又能多收一天的场地租借费 |
| [10:29] | You okay? I thought you would be excited about that. | 你怎么了 我还以为你听到会很高兴 |
| [10:31] | I’m just worried about Eddie. | 我在担心埃迪 |
| [10:33] | What’s wrong? | 他怎么了 |
| [10:34] | Today I told him not to use the dishwasher, | 今天我叫他不准用洗碗机 |
| [10:36] | and he did it anyway. | 但他还是用了 |
| [10:39] | We have a dishwasher? | 我们家有洗碗机吗 |
| [10:40] | Then he has the nerve to look me in the eye and lie about it. | 而他居然敢看着我说谎 眼睛都不眨一下 |
| [10:43] | Hmm. Eddie has always been… | -嗯 -埃迪一直是个 |
| [10:46] | colorful, but I’m just starting to worry. | 一言难尽的孩子 但我现在开始担心 |
| [10:50] | Are we raising a bad kid? | 我们会不会养了一个坏小子 |
| [10:52] | No way. Eddie’s got a good heart. | 不可能 埃迪心地很好 |
| [10:54] | He’s probably just excited to try out the machine, | 他很可能只是急于试试洗碗机 |
| [10:57] | which apparently we have. | 看来我们真有这玩意 |
| [10:58] | You’re probably right. | 大概你是对的 |
| [11:00] | Don’t worry. He’ll be fine. | 别着急 他不会有事的 |
| [11:13] | Could you yell at my mom to turn on her side? | 你能不能跟我妈喊 叫她侧着睡 |
| [11:17] | I’d do it, but… my instrument. | 我本可以喊的 但是我得保护嗓子 |
| [11:24] | That dishwasher | 这台洗碗机 |
| [11:25] | should never have been connected in the first place. | 一开始就不应该通上管子 |
| [11:27] | Who knows how much water has been wasted | 谁知道我们有多少水 |
| [11:29] | dripping into those hoses? | 浪费在这些管子里 |
| [11:31] | It must have cost us a fortune in drips. | 一大笔钱肯定就这样跟着水滴一点一点流走了 |
| [11:33] | You know who’s a drip? Ziggy. | 你知道谁才跟水滴一样烦人 齐格 |
| [11:35] | It’s like, “Put on some pants.” | 给人的感觉就是”拜托穿上裤子” |
| [11:38] | There. You now have a nonfunctioning dishwasher. | 好了 现在你们的洗碗机正式坏了 |
| [11:42] | Thank you. Now this machine won’t make us soft. | 谢谢你 现在这机器再也不能让我们变得软弱了 |
| [11:53] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [11:55] | What?! | 什么 |
| [11:58] | Where’s the manager? | 经理在哪里 |
| [12:01] | Where is he?! | 他在哪 |
| [12:03] | Who? | 谁 |
| [12:04] | My son! You called and said you caught him shoplifting. | 我儿子 你打电话说抓到他在商场偷窃 |
| [12:08] | Uh, that… that wasn’t me. | 呃 这个 不是我打的电话 |
| [12:09] | Isn’t this Razorshank Records? | 这是剃刀柄唱片店吗 |
| [12:11] | It is. | 是的 |
| [12:13] | We have another location in the mall. | 我们在商场那边还有一间店 |
| [12:22] | You need to be clearer on the phone. | 你应该在电话里说清楚 |
| [12:23] | And you are in big trouble. | 你大祸临头了 |
| [12:27] | Razorshank Records… | 这是剃刀柄唱片店 |
| [12:30] | Mall location. | 商场分店 |
| [12:35] | And that’s when I found this CD | 然后我就发现他把这张唱片 |
| [12:38] | tucked into his waistband. | 别在腰带上 |
| [12:40] | Eddie, what were you thinking? | 埃迪 你当时在想些什么鬼 |
| [12:41] | I know what he wasn’t thinking… | 我知道他没有想到什么 |
| [12:42] | All stolen merchandise comes out of Howie’s paycheck. | 所有被盗商品都要从霍伊工资里扣 |
| [12:44] | But you know who does think about that? | 你知道谁会考虑到这点吗 |
| [12:46] | Howie. Howie thinks about it all the time. | 霍伊 霍伊一直记着这一点 |
| [12:50] | I’m Howie, if that wasn’t clear. | 你们可能没明白 我就是霍伊 |
| [12:52] | I swear, I didn’t steal that CD! | 我发誓 我没偷唱片 |
| [12:54] | I brought it from home. | 这是我从家里带来的 |
| [12:56] | This place buys used CDs, | 这家店收购二手唱片 |
| [12:57] | and since you took away my allowance, | 因为你取消了我的零用钱 |
| [12:59] | I was gonna sell my old “Street Fighter” Soundtrack | 我才打算卖我这张《街头霸王》原声旧唱片 |
| [13:01] | – for some extra skrill. – Oh, really? | -来挣点外快的 -哦 是吗 |
| [13:03] | If you weren’t stealing, | 如果你没偷 |
| [13:04] | then why was this tucked into your waistband? | 那你为什么要把它别在腰带里 |
| [13:06] | Because my pockets were full of Runts candy. | 因为我的裤兜里装满了雀巢水果糖 |
| [13:08] | Okay. Let’s see this candy. I ate it on the way over here. | -好啊 让我看看你的糖 -在来的路上我已经吃光了 |
| [13:10] | That’s what they’re for. They’re my traveling Runts. | 糖就是为路上准备的 那是我的外出必备糖 |
| [13:13] | You even ate the bananas? Yeah, right. | 你连香蕉味儿的都吃了 信你才怪 |
| [13:16] | Howie, I am so sorry about all of this. | 霍伊 这事我很抱歉 |
| [13:18] | He’s gonna be in big trouble when he gets home. | 等回家以后我会好好收拾他 |
| [13:21] | Oh, he’s going to jail. | 哦 他会去坐牢的 |
| [13:23] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:24] | It’s corporate policy to prosecute shoplifters | 我们公司的政策 要对商场偷窃者 |
| [13:25] | to the fullest extent of the law. | 以法律允许的最高限度施以惩罚 |
| [13:27] | Corporate policy? | 公司政策 |
| [13:29] | Your logo is a man slapping a cop! | 你们的标志就是一个人在扇警察耳光啊 |
| [13:32] | Maybe there’s a bee on his face. | 可能是他脸上有蜜蜂吧 |
| [13:35] | We see what we want to see. | 仁者见仁 智者见智 |
| [13:39] | Red leather, yellow leather. | 红色皮革 黄色皮革 |
| [13:42] | La, la, la, la, la, la. Hey. Hey, Dad. | -啦 啦 啦 啦 -爸爸 |
| [13:45] | Emery, I’ve been practicing all morning | 埃默里 我一上午都在练习 |
| [13:47] | and I think I finally got it. | 我觉得已经没问题了 |
| [13:48] | Onions, shallots, scallions… It does them… | 洋葱 胡葱 大葱 统统拿 |
| [13:51] | Yeah, about that. I’ve got bad news. | 是哦 关于这个 我有个坏消息 |
| [13:54] | They want someone else to play the Salad Eater. | 他们想换人来吃沙拉 |
| [13:56] | What? Who? | 什么 谁啊 |
| [13:58] | Emery, we’re ready for you. | 埃默里 我们给你准备好了 |
| [13:59] | You’re the new Salad Eater? | 换你来吃沙拉 |
| [14:01] | I happened to be walking by | 我正好路过 |
| [14:03] | and heard them saying they were gonna recast you. | 听到他们说要把你换掉 |
| [14:04] | Then the director looked at me through his fingers, | 然后导演透过他比划的手指看着我 |
| [14:06] | and next thing I knew, I had the part. | 等我反应过来的时候 就已经得到这个角色了 |
| [14:09] | That doesn’t even make sense. Kids hate salad. | 这根本不合情理 小孩讨厌沙拉 |
| [14:11] | Not Danny Winterbottom. | 丹尼·温特博特姆可不是这样 |
| [14:12] | Who’s Danny Winterbottom? | 谁是丹尼·温特博特姆 |
| [14:14] | My character. | 我演的角色 |
| [14:15] | He loves salad because he was raised on a lettuce farm. | 他从小在莴苣农场长大 所以他爱吃沙拉 |
| [14:18] | Growing up, his mom would give him salad as a treat. | 在他成长过程中 沙拉算是他妈妈给他的奖励 |
| [14:20] | Oh, I see what’s going on here. | 哦 我明白是怎么回事了 |
| [14:23] | Making me nervous about being on TV, wishing me luck. | 让我对上电视产生紧张感 又对我说”祝我好运” |
| [14:27] | You were sabotaging me from the start. | 你从一开始就在搞破坏 |
| [14:29] | I don’t feel bad. | 我可不内疚 |
| [14:30] | When I found out what the lights were, | 当我知道那些灯具是做什么用的时候 |
| [14:32] | I knew I wanted to be in front of them. | 我就知道我想在它们前面表演 |
| [14:33] | Sorry, Dad. It’s “Infomercial,” Not “Friend-mercial.” | 对不起 爸爸 这是”广告宣传片” 不是”友谊宣传片” |
| [14:43] | Sorry how this all went down. | 很遗憾这事黄了 |
| [14:45] | Please accept this consolation bobblehead. | 请接受这个摇头玩偶 聊表安慰 |
| [14:49] | We’re both sorry. Aren’t we, little Tony? | 我俩都很遗憾 对吧 小托尼 |
| [14:51] | Yeah. | 对了 |
| [14:56] | Do you really think if I were to steal a CD, | 你觉得如果我真会去偷唱片 |
| [14:58] | it would be the “Street Fighter” Soundtrack? | 我会选《街头霸王》吗 |
| [15:00] | “Makaveli” Just came out. | 《马卡维力》[已逝美国说唱歌手] |
| [15:01] | “Life After Death” Just came out. | 《死后生活》[美国说唱歌手”臭名昭著的比格”之绝唱] |
| [15:04] | Why would I shoplift a two-year-old soundtrack | 我为什么要去偷一张已发行两年之久的 |
| [15:06] | from a movie about a video game? | 电子游戏电影的原声唱片 |
| [15:08] | You’d be amazed at what people try to steal. | 人们想偷的东西说出来你会吓一跳 |
| [15:10] | Last week, my mom made us snickerdoodles | 上周我妈做了笑脸曲奇 |
| [15:12] | to celebrate the end of Lent. | 来庆祝四旬斋节的结束 |
| [15:13] | Gone. | 结果也不见了 |
| [15:14] | Boss, the new Spice Girls CD isn’t ringing up. | 老板 辣妹合唱团的新唱片的销售额录不进去了 |
| [15:17] | The line out front has gone from Baby to Scary. | 前台的队都从小孩排到老头了 |
| [15:20] | Excuse me. I have to deal with this. | 不好意思 我得处理一下 |
| [15:22] | Don’t go anywhere. | 你们待在这哪儿也别去 |
| [15:27] | I can’t believe you stole. | 真不敢相信你居然偷东西 |
| [15:29] | – I told you, I’m not a thief. – That’s what you say. | -我说过了 我不是小偷 -这是你的说法 |
| [15:31] | But after what happened | 但是洗碗机事件之后 |
| [15:32] | with the dishwasher, how can I believe you? | 我要怎么相信你 |
| [15:34] | All right. I admit it. I used the dishwasher. | 好吧 我承认 我是用了洗碗机 |
| [15:36] | Aha! | 啊哈 |
| [15:38] | And I did lie about it, but I didn’t steal the CD. | 关于这件事我确实撒谎了 但我没偷唱片 |
| [15:40] | That’s the truth. | 这是实话 |
| [15:41] | I knew it. I knew you were lying all along, | 我就知道 我就知道你一直都在骗我 |
| [15:44] | about the dishwasher, eating my papaya. | 你偷用了洗碗机 偷吃了我的木瓜 |
| [15:46] | Oh, I didn’t eat your papaya. Papayas are gross. | 我没吃你的木瓜 木瓜好难吃 |
| [15:49] | Those slimy black seeds? Ugh! Hard pass. | 那一个个小黑籽 难以下咽 |
| [15:52] | Well, if you didn’t eat my papaya, who did? | 好吧 如果你没吃我的木瓜 那是谁吃的 |
| [15:54] | I don’t want to say. | 我不想说 |
| [15:56] | Eddie, tell me! | 埃迪 告诉我 |
| [15:57] | I can’t. I live by a code. | 我不能说 我做人是有底线的 |
| [15:59] | Howie, put him in jail! | 霍伊 送他进监狱 |
| [16:00] | Fine. | 好啦 |
| [16:02] | It was Evan. | 是埃文 |
| [16:03] | Evan? Really? | 埃文 你说真的 |
| [16:05] | It wasn’t his fault. | 不是他的错 |
| [16:06] | He didn’t mean to eat your breakfast. | 他不是故意要吃你的早饭的 |
| [16:08] | He just has a weakness for tropical fruit. | 他只是对热带水果没有抵抗力 |
| [16:10] | He also has a clean record, so I took the fall for him. | 而且他也没有前科 所以我就替他顶罪了 |
| [16:13] | I mean, what’s another papaya on my rap sheet? | 我的意思是 我以前没有偷吃木瓜的前科吧 |
| [16:15] | You mean you sat and watched me eat your Irish elf cereal | 你是说你眼睁睁看着我吃你的爱尔兰小精灵麦片 |
| [16:20] | just so your little brother wouldn’t get into trouble? | 就是为了不让你弟弟陷入麻烦 |
| [16:23] | Yeah. Of course. | 是啊 当然 |
| [16:28] | Uh, Mom, are you okay? | 妈妈 你还好吗 |
| [16:33] | I’m proud of you, Eddie. | 我真为你骄傲 埃迪 |
| [16:34] | Really? So you’re not mad that I lied? | 真的吗 所以你不再因为我撒谎而生气了 |
| [16:37] | No, I’m not mad. | 不 我不生气 |
| [16:38] | So, you’re saying sometimes it’s good to lie? | 所以 你是觉得有时候撒谎也是好事咯 |
| [16:40] | No. Don’t make me mad again. | 不是 别让我又发火 |
| [16:42] | You lied about us having a dishwasher. | 你也跟我们隐瞒了洗碗机的事啊 |
| [16:44] | Isn’t that hypocritical? | 这难道不是虚伪吗 |
| [16:45] | Eddie, there is something called a “White lie.” | 埃迪 有种东西叫做善意的谎言 |
| [16:48] | And that is a lie that protects you | 这种谎言是用来保护你 |
| [16:49] | from all the things that make white people soft. | 不让你接触那些让白人们变得软弱的东西的 |
| [16:58] | Emery, you were here yesterday, | 埃默里 你昨天来过 |
| [16:59] | so you know what we’re going for. | 你知道我们要什么效果 |
| [17:01] | Yep. I got it. | 没问题 我懂的 |
| [17:02] | Okay. Let’s roll! | 好了 机位准备 |
| [17:04] | An Asian boy named Winterbottom. Okay, sure, all right. | 一个名叫温特博特姆的亚洲男孩 行 你们说怎样就怎样吧 |
| [17:09] | And… action! | 开拍 |
| [17:11] | The Un-Gun is so easy to use, | 阳枪操作就这么简单 |
| [17:13] | the only thing you’ll be crying about is not getting one sooner. | 唯一会让你流泪的是后悔没有早点入手 |
| [17:18] | And how does it work on that salad? | 让我们来看看做出来的沙拉怎么样 |
| [17:21] | Onions, shallots, scallions… It does them all! | 洋葱 胡葱 大葱 统统拿下 |
| [17:25] | Yeah, great, but can you do it without all the blinking? | 很好 但是你能别一直眨眼吗 |
| [17:28] | What blinking? | 什么眨眼 |
| [17:29] | Cut. | 停 |
| [17:31] | Dustin, could you get me a hot tea and six cyanide capsules? | 达斯汀 能给我冲杯热茶再来六个氰化胶囊吗 |
| [17:33] | Uh, let me talk to him. | 让我跟他聊聊 |
| [17:36] | Dad, did you see the blinking they were talking about? | 爸 你看见他们说的眨眼了吗 |
| [17:39] | Do you think the camera’s picking it up? | 你觉得摄像机录进去了吗 |
| [17:41] | Yeah, I do. | 恐怕是的 |
| [17:43] | I guess I’m more nervous than I thought I’d be. | 我可能比预想的还要紧张 |
| [17:45] | It’s okay. You can do this. | 没关系 你可以做到的 |
| [17:46] | Yes, I was a little upset when I heard about the recast, | 没错 我听到要换角的时侯是有点难过 |
| [17:49] | but if it can’t be me, I’m happy it’s you. | 但如果不是我来演 我很开心是你 |
| [17:52] | Salad Eater is the second role you were born to play. | 吃沙拉的人是你注定要演的第二个角色 |
| [17:55] | What was the first? | 那第一个是什么 |
| [17:56] | Fantastic son. | 优秀的儿子 |
| [17:59] | Thanks, Dad. | 谢谢你 老爸 |
| [18:01] | I understand now. | 我现在懂了 |
| [18:03] | You’re trying to throw me off my game, | 你想让我出局 |
| [18:04] | make me think my mediocre performance is fine | 让我以为平庸地表演就可以 |
| [18:07] | so I don’t strive to be the best. | 这样我就不会力争上游了 |
| [18:09] | Well, it’s not going to work. | 你不会得逞的 |
| [18:10] | What? No… | 什么 不是这样的 |
| [18:11] | Get out of my eyeline. | 在我的视线里消失 |
| [18:15] | Let’s shoot this thing! | 让我们把这片子拍完 |
| [18:23] | Well, that Spice Girls line was a total nightmare. | 排队买辣妹合唱团唱片的队伍简直是场噩梦 |
| [18:25] | A lot more middle-aged men than I thought. | 里面中年人的数量超出我的想象 |
| [18:28] | Where were we? Oh, right. | 我们说到哪了 对了 |
| [18:30] | I was just about to press charges against your boy. | 我正要起诉你儿子呢 |
| [18:32] | You will do no such thing. | 你不能这么做 |
| [18:34] | I believe my son. He didn’t steal that CD. | 我相信我儿子 他没偷那张唱片 |
| [18:37] | Well, that’s nice you believe him, | 嗯 你相信他很好 |
| [18:38] | but there’s still no way of knowing | 但我们还是没法知道 |
| [18:39] | whether the CD is really his or if he stole it. | 这张唱片到底本就属于他还是他偷来的 |
| [18:41] | I’m gonna call the police. | 我要报警了 |
| [18:42] | 16 seconds! What? | -十六秒 -什么 |
| [18:46] | That’s the exact moment it skips on track 8. | 就在那个时间点唱片会跳到第八节 |
| [18:47] | I know that because it’s my CD. | 我知道这个因为这是我的唱片 |
| [18:50] | What have we here? A boom-boom box. | 看这儿有什么 一个唱片机 |
| [18:53] | Play it. | 放吧 |
| [19:00] | I have to fast-forward a bit. | 我要快进一下 |
| [19:02] | Hold down the right arrow button. | 按住右箭头键啊 |
| [19:04] | Hold it down. | 按住它 |
| [19:05] | I’m doing it. There! There. | 我在按 看到了吗 满意了吗 |
| [19:07] | # Mechanical mix flows # | #机械混音夹在着人潮# |
| [19:08] | # Competition in my dojo # | #我的道馆里充斥着竞争# |
| [19:10] | # In my dojo # | #我的道馆里# |
| [19:11] | # In my dojo # | #我的道馆里# |
| [19:13] | If the CD skips, you must acquit. | 如果唱片跳过去了 你必须还我清白 |
| [19:14] | I guess it is yours. My mistake. | 我想这是你的 我搞错了 |
| [19:17] | “My mistake”? That’s it? | 我搞错了 这就完了 |
| [19:19] | You falsely accused my son of being a thief! | 你给我的儿子安了个莫须有的罪名 说他是小偷 |
| [19:23] | You need to make this right. | 你要补偿我们 |
| [19:24] | How would I do that? | 怎么补偿 |
| [19:25] | You’re gonna buy back his music disc at full price. | 你要全价买回他的音乐碟片 |
| [19:28] | Or else I will tell everyone that your store profiles Asians. | 否则我要广而告之你的店歧视亚洲人 |
| [19:32] | Institutional bias. | 惯性偏见 |
| [19:34] | But it’s a “Street Fighter” Soundtrack from two years ago, | 可这是两年前的 街头霸王 唱片了 |
| [19:36] | a-and it skips. | 而且它还会漏节 |
| [19:37] | No one’s gonna buy it. | 没人会买的 |
| [19:38] | Eddie, what’s that sound like to you? | 埃迪 你怎么看 |
| [19:40] | Not our problem. | 不关我们的事 |
| [19:43] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [19:50] | Who pays for it? | 钱从谁的口袋里出 |
| [19:51] | Howie does. Always Howie. | 霍伊 永远是霍伊 |
| [19:57] | They said the infomercial will air | 他们说这个广告宣传片 |
| [19:59] | sometime between 3:00 and 6:00 a.M. | 会在早上三点到六点之间播出 |
| [20:01] | Mom, will you pass the popcorn? | 妈妈 能把爆米花递过来吗 |
| [20:03] | You’re hungry? I’m surprised you’re not full of papaya. | 你饿了吗 真奇怪你居然没被木瓜撑爆 |
| [20:06] | I said I was sorry. Can’t a boy have a hankering? | 我说了对不起了 难道一个男孩子不能有点欲望吗 |
| [20:09] | I can’t believe you’re gonna be on TV, Emery. | 真不敢相信你要上电视了 埃默里 |
| [20:11] | Thanks, Eddie. I’m glad somebody’s happy about it. | 谢谢你 埃迪 幸好还有人为我感到高兴 |
| [20:14] | I told you, I wasn’t trying to sabotage you. | 我说了 我没有要破坏你的拍摄 |
| [20:17] | Hmm. Finally, some good acting. | 嗯 终于啊 演得挺像啊 |
| [20:23] | Tired of chopped onions turning you into a whiny crybaby? | 厌倦了切洋葱的时候眼泪流得像个唧唧歪歪的小孩吗 |
| [20:29] | Are you a dumb idiot, wasting everyone’s time and money, | 你是个浪费大家的时间和金钱 |
| [20:32] | cutting onions the old-fashioned way? | 还在用老办法切洋葱的白痴吗 |
| [20:33] | Uh, duh. | 呃 傻 |
| [20:35] | Presenting a better way. | 让我们向您展示一个好办法 |
| [20:38] | Hi. Tony Wonder here | 嗨 托尼·旺德在这里 |
| [20:39] | with a miracle machine that makes chopping onions | 给大家推荐一款神奇的机器 |
| [20:42] | as easy as pulling the trigger. | 能让切洋葱跟扣扳机一样轻松 |
| [20:44] | It’s called… | 它就叫做 |
| [20:45] | “The Gunion.” | 喷葱枪 |
| [20:48] | They stole my name! | 他们窃取了我的创意 |