| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Oh, no. Is that what I think it is? | 是跟我的想象一样吗? |
| [00:07] | Eddie’s making his “Soda Suicide” Again… | 埃迪又在做他的“自杀苏打” |
| [00:10] | …A sugar-coma-inducing blend | 一种甜到齁人的混合液 |
| [00:12] | of Dr. Pepper, Squirt, Fanta, Mountain Dew, | 包括胡椒博士 雪碧 芬达 激浪 |
| [00:15] | and a cherry Jolly Rancher. | 再加一颗红色樱桃硬糖 |
| [00:18] | And like always, he’s gonna stumble into the living room | 像往常一样 他会像在婚礼上的醉鬼一样 |
| [00:21] | like a drunk uncle at a wedding… | 在客厅中绊倒 |
| [00:23] | Plop down on the couch too hard, | 倒在沙发上 |
| [00:24] | spilling all over the place. | 把混合液洒的满地都是 |
| [00:26] | Not this time. | 这次可不行 |
| [00:31] | You… | 你… |
| [00:32] | didn’t… spill on the couch? | 没有…洒在沙发上? |
| [00:35] | Nope. As I was about to sit, I was like… | 没呀 当我要坐下去的时候 我就想… |
| [00:38] | “What if I put my cup down on the table first?” | 要不我先把我的杯子放在桌子上? |
| [00:40] | Seems so obvious, but, hey, live and learn. | 感觉很简单啊 活到老学到老嘛 |
| [00:44] | He’s even using a coaster. | 他还会用杯垫了 |
| [00:47] | Ahh. Still got the skills. | 宝刀未老啊 |
| [00:48] | I haven’t made one of these | 自从艾莉森跟我约会后 |
| [00:50] | since Alison and I started dating. | 我就没再做了 |
| [00:52] | She hated them. | 她很讨厌这些 |
| [00:55] | Are you telling me you think you can make a soda taste better | 你是说你做的苏打水比专业人员做的 |
| [00:57] | than the professionals? | 更好喝? |
| [00:58] | Than the flavor engineers at Mountain Dew? | 与激浪的调味师比? |
| [01:00] | Than Dr. Melvin Pepper? | 还有胡椒博士? |
| [01:02] | He’s a damn doctor! | 他可是个大博士！ |
| [01:03] | Now that she broke up with me, | 现在她跟我分手了 |
| [01:05] | I’m focused on forgetting about her | 我正专注于忘记她 |
| [01:07] | and just being the best me I can. | 努力成为最好的自己 |
| [01:09] | Very mature, son. I’m proud of you. | 非常成熟 儿子 我为你感到骄傲 |
| [01:11] | Hey, hey, hey. | 嘿 嘿 嘿 |
| [01:13] | I’m proud of us. | 我为我们感到骄傲 |
| [01:16] | Do you see what’s happening here? | 你看到了吗? |
| [01:18] | The last of our three children has grown up. | 我们三个娃中最迟钝的也长大了 |
| [01:20] | We’re finally out of “Kid jail.” | 我们终于逃脱了”娃的牢笼” |
| [01:27] | We can have nice things again. | 我们又可以摆放美好的事物了 |
| [01:30] | Look at her, Louis. | 看看她 路易斯 |
| [01:30] | As beautiful as the day we first put her in storage in 1982. | 跟1982年我们把她放在仓库里的时候一样漂亮 |
| [01:34] | I’ll never forget that day. | 我永远忘不了那天 |
| [01:36] | Your water broke, and I said, “Let’s go to the hospital,” | 你羊水破了 我说 “我们去医院吧” |
| [01:38] | and you said, “After we make one stop.” | 你说 “做完这个就去” |
| [01:41] | My labor pains were so intense. | 我的产前阵痛太激烈了 |
| [01:43] | But after three hours of pushing, | 但经过三小时拼劲全力 |
| [01:44] | we finally figured out a way | 我们终于 |
| [01:46] | to wedge this couch into the storage unit. | 把沙发挤进了仓库 |
| [01:49] | Welcome home, sweetheart. | 欢迎回家 小甜心 |
| [02:08] | – No way. -Yes way. | – 没门 – 有门 |
| [02:10] | The last time we drank | 上次我们白天 |
| [02:11] | during the day | 喝酒 |
| [02:12] | was 15 years ago | 还是在15年前的 |
| [02:12] | at the racetrack. | 赛马场上 |
| [02:13] | You called the cashier a racist | 你说那个收银员是种族主义者 |
| [02:15] | because a horse was named | 因为有一匹马 |
| [02:16] | “Chinese Chicken Salad.” | 被称为“中国弱鸡” |
| [02:17] | I remember that now! | 我记起来了! |
| [02:19] | Wow. We had fun, Louis. | 我们玩的可开心了 路易斯 |
| [02:20] | Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. | 不要听别人的话 |
| [02:23] | Well, with Eddie maturing, | 埃迪也长大了 |
| [02:24] | we can go back to having fun. | 我们可以重拾欢乐啦 |
| [02:25] | Orlando is the 37th best city | 奥兰多作为美国第37个最好的城市 |
| [02:27] | in America for a reason. | 是有原因的 |
| [02:28] | Let’s start enjoying it. | 让我们好好享受它吧 |
| [02:30] | Okay. What should we do first? | 好 我们应该从哪开始呢? |
| [02:31] | Why don’t we see | 要不我们 |
| [02:33] | what Honey and Marvin are up to tonight? | 问问蜜儿和马文今晚干嘛 |
| [02:34] | Let’s dial up those fools and see what’s up. | 我们打电话问问这两傻蛋怎么样 |
| [02:37] | Hey, nice use of slang. | 嘿 俚语用的不错 |
| [02:39] | Did it sound dumb? | 这是哑了吗? |
| [02:40] | I’ve only had half a beer, but the voice in my head | 我才喝了半瓶酒 我脑海中 |
| [02:42] | that criticizes me constantly has gone quiet. | 持续批判我的声音已经安静了 |
| [02:45] | And you realize we don’t need | 你知道我们不需要 |
| [02:46] | to have quick dinners anymore, right? | 再吃快手晚餐了 对吧? |
| [02:48] | We don’t need to be afraid of leaving Eddie unsupervised. | 我们不需要担心埃迪一人无人监管了 |
| [02:50] | We can finally do more than just dinner. | 我们终于还可以做除了晚餐以外的事情 |
| [02:53] | We can do “Dinner and…”. | 我们可以做“晚餐和…” |
| [02:54] | Dinner and dancing, | 晚餐和跳舞 |
| [02:55] | dinner and a movie… | 晚餐和电影… |
| [02:57] | dinner and drinks at a jazz club! | 晚餐和在爵士俱乐部喝酒! |
| [02:59] | Better idea | 我有个更妙的主意 |
| [03:00] | we can invite Honey and Marvin to dinner and… | 我们可以邀请蜜儿和马文共进晚餐然后… |
| [03:04] | …karaoke. | …卡拉OK |
| [03:05] | Get them on the phone immediately. | 立马给他们打电话 |
| [03:07] | Ahh! I can’t wait to sing some Mariah. | 我等不及要飚几首玛利亚的歌了 |
| [03:09] | She’s the only woman | 她是唯一 |
| [03:10] | who can match my range. | 可以匹配我的音域的女人了 |
| [03:17] | How did that | 那个 |
| [03:18] | out-of-control sprinkler | 失控的洒水车 |
| [03:19] | only hit me and not you? | 怎么就只洒到了我身上? |
| [03:20] | I don’t know, bro, | 我哪知道 哥们 |
| [03:21] | but it’s your bad luck year, | 这是你的本命年 |
| [03:23] | so keep your nasty juju away from me. | 你要让你的霉气远离我 |
| [03:25] | I’m gonna go throw my clothes in the dryer. | 我要把我衣服丢到烘干机里 |
| [03:30] | Oh, come on! | 不是吧! |
| [03:36] | What the hell? | 什么鬼? |
| [03:38] | Alison, what are you doing here? | 艾莉森 你怎么在这? |
| [03:39] | Why wouldn’t she be here? We’re friends. | 她为什么不能在这? 我们是朋友 |
| [03:42] | Since when are you friends? | 啥时候你们成了朋友? |
| [03:43] | Eddie, you know | 埃迪 |
| [03:44] | how you’re always late for everything? | 你知道什么事情都总是迟到吧 |
| [03:46] | No. | 我没有 |
| [03:49] | Well, over the years, when Alison came by our house | 这些年 当艾莉森到访我家 |
| [03:52] | and had to wait for you to arrive, | 等你的时候 |
| [03:54] | she and I struck up a great friendship. | 我俩成了好朋友 |
| [03:56] | A great friendship? | 好朋友? |
| [03:57] | What do you guys | 你俩有啥 |
| [03:58] | even talk about? | 好聊的? |
| [03:58] | We talk about Pogs, | 我们聊波格游戏啊 |
| [04:00] | tamagotchis | 电子鸡啊 |
| [04:01] | Volleyball, | 排球啊 |
| [04:01] | Leno vs. Letterman. | 雷诺对决莱特曼啊 |
| [04:03] | And, you know, life in general. | 就是些生活点滴 |
| [04:05] | What does anyone talk about with their friends? | 就是大家跟朋友之间的日常啊 |
| [04:07] | Sorry, Eddie, but Evan and I agreed a long time ago | 不好意思啊 埃迪 |
| [04:07] | that if our relationship ever ended, | 但是埃文跟我早就说好了 |
| [04:09] | me and him would stay friends. | 即使咱俩分手了 我俩也还是好朋友 |
| [04:12] | Two crossed arrows | 双剑合璧 |
| [04:14] | is the universal symbol for friendship. | 是全宇宙通行的友谊象征 |
| [04:16] | Friends forever. | 友谊永存 |
| [04:17] | Friends forever. | 友谊永存 |
| [04:19] | Your necklaces look cheap. | 你俩的项链真廉价 |
| [04:22] | – He’s not worth it. -You’re right. | – 当他放屁 – 你说得对 |
| [04:24] | I’m gonna go see if our dino nuggets are ready. | 我去看看咱的恐龙鸡块好了没 |
| [04:27] | When I return, I hope you’re not here. | 我回来的时候希望你已经消失了 |
| [04:32] | Why you doing me like this, girl? | 你为何要如此对我啊 妹纸 |
| [04:34] | I’m sorry. | 对不起啊 |
| [04:34] | I was laying it on thick | 我是为了埃文 |
| [04:36] | for Evan’s sake. | 才那样说的 |
| [04:36] | He’s sensitive… | 他很敏感的… |
| [04:37] | classic Leno fan… | 典型的雷诺脑残粉… |
| [04:38] | but, really, I… I’m uncomfortable being here. | 讲真 我… 我在这不自在 |
| [04:41] | I don’t want to make things harder between us than they already are. | 我不想让我们之间更尴尬 |
| [04:43] | Then why are you? | 那你现在是在干嘛呢? |
| [04:44] | Because I can’t just abandon my friendship with Evan. | 因为我不能就这样抛弃和埃文的友谊啊 |
| [04:46] | You and I splitting up… | 你和我分手了… |
| [04:47] | it’s like he’s a child of divorce. | 他就像是个离异家庭的孩子 |
| [04:49] | What do you know about divorce? | 你对离婚有啥了解? |
| [04:51] | – My parents are divorced. – They are? | – 我爸妈就离婚啦 – 是吗? |
| [04:53] | I talked to you about it all the time! | 姐姐我跟你说过了五千遍啦 |
| [04:54] | Well, you say a lot of things! | 你说过很多事啊 |
| [04:56] | Let’s just drop it. | 不吵了 |
| [04:57] | Obviously, we need some space from each other. | 显然 我们之间需要空间 |
| [04:59] | Well, that means you and Evan can’t be friends. | 所以你跟埃文不能做朋友 |
| [05:01] | Yeah, I…I know. | 我… 我懂 |
| [05:03] | Let’s have a talk with him tomorrow. | 我们明天跟他说吧 |
| [05:05] | So, if your parents are divorced… | 所以 你爸妈离婚了… |
| [05:07] | do you get, like, twice as many presents at Christmas? | 那你圣诞节有两份礼物啊? |
| [05:11] | We’re Jewish. | 我们是犹太人好吗 |
| [05:14] | Huh. | 哦 |
| [05:18] | I’m so happy Honey and Marvin | 蜜儿和马文能来吃完饭 |
| [05:20] | could come to dinner tonight. | 我太高兴啦 |
| [05:21] | I already pre-paid for our private karaoke room. | 我已经订好了卡拉OK包间 |
| [05:24] | – So we are all set. – Thank you for splurging | – 一切就绪 – 谢谢你能奢侈一把 |
| [05:26] | on the four-microphone package. | 定了四个麦克风的套餐 |
| [05:27] | It’s important we do “Lady Marmalade” Properly. | 这样我们就能好好唱果酱女郎了 |
| [05:30] | I can’t wait! | 我简直迫不及待了 |
| [05:31] | – Hey! – Oh, hi! | – 嗨 – 哈喽 |
| [05:33] | – Oh, it’s so good to see you. -Hello, hello. | – 见到你真是太好了 – 哈喽哈喽 |
| [05:36] | Oh, I’m sorry we’re late. | 不好意思啦 我们迟到了 |
| [05:37] | Marvin was stuck at work finishing a dental cleaning… | 马文加班了 |
| [05:39] | Uh-huh. ?…for a celebrity. | 因为一个名人来洗牙 |
| [05:42] | Was it Denzel? | 是丹泽尔·华盛顿吗? |
| [05:44] | No. But I will tell you… | 不是 但我告诉你哦 |
| [05:46] | she was a joy to work with. | 跟她一起工作很开心 |
| [05:51] | It was Joy Behar! | 是乔伊·比哈尔啦 |
| [05:53] | – Whoa! ? – Oh, amazing! | – 哇哦 – 真棒呢 |
| [05:55] | Who is that? ? | 这谁啊? |
| [05:56] | Hi. Welcome to Chez Dennis. | 嗨 欢迎光临丹尼斯家 |
| [05:58] | Can I get you all a drink to start? | 需要喝点什么吗? |
| [05:59] | I’ll have a glass of red wine. | 我要一杯红酒 |
| [06:01] | Pinot gris, please. | 我要灰皮诺酒 谢谢 |
| [06:02] | What do you say, Marv, | 马文 咋样 |
| [06:03] | a couple Negronis to warm up our engines? | 先来两杯内格罗尼热热身? |
| [06:06] | I…I’ll just have some water. | 我… 我要杯水就好 |
| [06:08] | Hilarious joke, Marvin. | 搞笑哦 马文 |
| [06:10] | Come on. I’ve already taken a dangerous amount of Pepcid AC | 喝点嘛 我都吃了好多法莫替丁 |
| [06:13] | to combat the Asian Flush. | 来防止喝酒脸红了 |
| [06:14] | Let’s go big tonight! | 不醉不归 |
| [06:16] | Uh…actually, I can’t drink because | 其实 我是不能喝酒 |
| [06:18] | well… | 那啥… |
| [06:20] | I’m having some surgery tomorrow. | 我明天要开刀 |
| [06:22] | Oh, my God. What for? | 天呐 怎么了? |
| [06:25] | I’m having my vasectomy reversed! | 重建输精管 |
| [06:28] | We want to have kids! | 我们想要个孩子 |
| [06:33] | Okay, one last time, I promise. | 我保证 就问最后一次 |
| [06:36] | Are you sure you want to have kids? | 你真的想要孩子吗? |
| [06:39] | Because nobody wants to have kids. | 因为没人想要孩子啊 |
| [06:41] | They’re just a thing that happens to you | 孩子就是个不请自来 |
| [06:43] | and then you carry that burden with you until you die. | 你要背负至死的负担啊 |
| [06:45] | My only burden will be keeping my fingers | 我唯一的负担只会是阻止自己 |
| [06:47] | from pinching baby legs. | 去捏宝宝的脸的腿 |
| [06:49] | Where’s your leg? Give me your leg. | 你的小腿腿捏? 来踢我呀 |
| [06:51] | You nervous about the surgery? | 要做手术你紧张吗? |
| [06:52] | A reverse vasectomy sounds intense. | 重建输精管听起来很可怕啊 |
| [06:54] | No, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [06:55] | Uh, it’s a simple outpatient procedure. | 只是个很简单的门诊手术 |
| [06:58] | They… They just go down south, | 医生们只需要下去 |
| [06:59] | do a little snip-snip, loosen up my tubes, | 剪一剪 松一松我的管道 |
| [07:02] | and then they take a capillary out of my neck, | 从我的脖子上取一根毛细管 |
| [07:04] | they take that capillary, fuse it to my tubes, | 跟我的管道熔合 |
| [07:07] | probably with some kind of a heat gun, | 大概是用什么加热枪吧 |
| [07:09] | throw some stitches on it, | 再缝几针 |
| [07:10] | and — boom — Marvin’s shooting bullets. | 然后– 嘣– 马文又重展雄风了 |
| [07:12] | Uh-huh. Sounds simple. | 听着很简单 |
| [07:15] | Louis and I just got sprung from kid jail, | 路易斯和我刚刚摆脱所有的孩子 |
| [07:17] | because Eddie finally matured, | 因为埃迪终于成熟了 |
| [07:19] | and it is the best thing that has ever happened to us. | 而且那是发生在我们身上最好的事情了 |
| [07:22] | Why make your life harder… with a baby? | 为什么要个孩子让自己活得更艰难呢? |
| [07:25] | I don’t know. I think it’ll be fun. | 我不知道 我觉得应该挺有意思的 |
| [07:27] | I can get it a hat. | 我可以给它弄个小帽子 |
| [07:29] | Oh, my God. And the jeans. | 我的天啊 还有小牛仔裤 |
| [07:30] | For its fat legs. | 套在它的小胖腿上 |
| [07:32] | – Uh, Honey? -Hmm? | – 嗯 蜜儿? – 嗯? |
| [07:33] | I think it’s time for us to hit the ol’ road. | 我觉得咱们该上路了 |
| [07:34] | Already? But we were gonna do dinner and karaoke. | 这么快? 但咱们还要吃完饭唱卡拉OK呢 |
| [07:37] | I know, but Marvin needs to rest up for his procedure, | 我知道 但是马文手术之前要休息 |
| [07:41] | and I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, | 而且我明天还约了妇科医生 |
| [07:43] | just to make sure things are good on my end. | 来确定我这边一切都好 |
| [07:47] | I mean, they are, for sure. | 我是说 肯定没问题 |
| [07:48] | I don’t want to get into details, | 我不想说的太详细 |
| [07:50] | but just know that I’ve never had a problem getting pregnant. | 但是我在怀孕上从来没出现过问题 |
| [07:52] | – All right. – Bye-bye. | – 好吧 – 拜拜 |
| [07:54] | Bye, guys. | 再见啊 |
| [07:56] | You know what? We don’t need them. | 你猜怎么着? 我们不需要他们 |
| [07:58] | We can still go out and have fun. | 咱们还是可以出去浪 |
| [08:00] | I did pre-pay. | 我确实预付过了 |
| [08:03] | * I take two steps forward * | *我百折不挠* |
| [08:06] | * I take two steps back * | *我犹犹豫豫* |
| [08:08] | * We come together, ’cause opposites attract * | *我们相遇 因为异性相吸* |
| [08:14] | That was a disgrace to Paula Abdul | 这真是对宝拉·阿巴杜和她 |
| [08:16] | and all that she stands for. | 代表的一切的大不敬啊 |
| [08:20] | This just isn’t as fun without Honey and Marvin. | 没有蜜儿和马文就是没有那么好玩了 |
| [08:22] | I can’t believe the moment we get out of kid jail, | 我真不敢相信我们刚刚摆脱了孩子们 |
| [08:24] | our best friends decide to go in. | 我们最好的朋友又想要孩子 |
| [08:26] | I was honest with Honey about how hard it is, | 我很认真的跟蜜儿讲了那有多艰难 |
| [08:28] | but she wouldn’t even hear it. | 但是她不听啊 |
| [08:30] | She’s lost in baby fever. | 她陷得太深了 |
| [08:31] | She is always quick to dive into whatever’s new. | 她总是很容易被新鲜事物吸引 |
| [08:34] | Remember when she made Marvin grow sideburns like Luke Perry? | 你记得她让马文留卢克·贝里那样的胡子吗? |
| [08:36] | Besides, at Marvin’s age, | 更何况 以马文的年龄 |
| [08:38] | their baby’s gonna come out 4 years old. | 他们的孩子出生就四岁了 |
| [08:40] | Meanwhile, I’m not even sure he’s into the idea of having a baby. | 而且 我都不确定他是不是真的想要一个孩子 |
| [08:43] | Is there baby corn in this salad? | 这个沙拉里有小玉米吗? |
| [08:45] | Because if there is, I don’t want it. | 如果有 那我就不要 |
| [08:47] | He asked for no baby corn. | 他连小玉米都不要 |
| [08:50] | Oh, he’s definitely not ready for this! | 噢 他肯定没准备好! |
| [08:52] | You can send back baby corn. You can’t send back baby. | 你能退掉小玉米 但不能退掉小孩 |
| [08:55] | I understand Honey wanting to rush in, | 我理解蜜儿的冲动 |
| [08:57] | but Marvin’s done it before. | 但是马文有过孩子了 |
| [08:58] | He should know better. | 他应该明白的 |
| [08:59] | You know, if he’s even a little bit unsure, | 你知道 如果他有一点点不确定 |
| [09:01] | we should talk to him. | 我们都应该找他聊聊 |
| [09:02] | Absolutely. | 必须的 |
| [09:04] | But first, let’s sing some Michael? | 但首先 咱们唱点迈克尔的歌? |
| [09:06] | – Jackson? – McDonald. | – 杰克逊? – 麦克唐纳 |
| [09:07] | Stipe? | 斯蒂普 |
| [09:08] | Ooh. | 哦 |
| [09:12] | We sit before the truest test of the puzzle master — | 咱们面对着拼图的最高境界– |
| [09:15] | the 1,000-piece puzzle of a bowl of plums. | 一千块拼图拼成的一碗李子 |
| [09:18] | Every piece is just purple. | 每一块都是紫色的 |
| [09:21] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [09:23] | Where’s Eddie? | 埃迪呢? |
| [09:24] | He should’ve been here 45 minutes ago. | 他四十五分钟之前就应该到了 |
| [09:26] | Eddie’s late?! I’m stunned! | 埃迪迟到了? 我都惊呆了! |
| [09:28] | I know, right? | 我知道 对吧? |
| [09:29] | But we actually have something serious to talk to you about, | 但其实我们有很严肃的事情要跟你说 |
| [09:33] | but I guess since he’s late, I’ll just tell you. | 但是既然他迟到了 那就我来告诉你吧 |
| [09:35] | What is it? | 什么? |
| [09:36] | Your brother and I… | 你哥哥和我… |
| [09:38] | well, we both care about you very much, and… | 我们都很关心你 而且… |
| [09:47] | … we’re getting back together! | … 我们要复合了! |
| [09:49] | Shut the front door and give me a hug! | 快闭嘴然后给我个拥抱! |
| [09:52] | Sorry I’m late. | 抱歉我迟到了 |
| [09:53] | I saw a red-tailed fox on the way home, | 我回家的路上看见一只红尾巴的狐狸 |
| [09:55] | so I chased it. | 我就追了上去 |
| [09:56] | I heard the great news! | 我知道好消息了! |
| [09:57] | I’ve been hiding some Nilla Wafers for when I finish the puzzle, | 我每次拼完拼图都会藏一些小饼干 |
| [10:01] | but what the hay, let’s celebrate! | 但是管他呢 咱们来庆祝吧! |
| [10:04] | What great news? | 什么好消息? |
| [10:05] | I kinda sorta told him we’re getting back together. | 我算是告诉他咱们复合了 |
| [10:07] | – What? – You were late, and I panicked! | – 什么? – 你迟到了 我就慌了! |
| [10:10] | Can you tell him we can’t be friends? | 你能告诉他我们不能是朋友了吗? |
| [10:11] | No way, ex-boo. | 没门 前女票 |
| [10:12] | You’re the one who broke up with me. | 是你先甩了我的 |
| [10:14] | This was your choice. You’ve got to be the bad guy. | 是你的选择 你来当坏人 |
| [10:18] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [10:18] | I brought the whole box | 我拿了一整盒 |
| [10:19] | in case we want to turn this into a party. | 要是你们想开派对庆祝也有得吃 |
| [10:23] | Evan, there’s something else I have to tell you. | 埃文 我还要告诉你点事 |
| [10:26] | Eddie and I were talking, and we think it’s best if… | 埃迪和我在说 然后我们决定… |
| [10:32] | … we take you on a pony ride! | … 我们带你去骑小马! |
| [10:40] | – Grandma! – Emery! | – 奶奶! – 埃默里! |
| [10:43] | My bad luck strikes again. | 我的坏运气又开始了 |
| [10:45] | I can’t be around anyone pouring liquids. | 我不能出现在倒东西的人周围 |
| [10:56] | Really? | 真的? |
| [11:02] | I thought that was Jesus. | 我以为耶稣是最大的帮助 |
| [11:10] | Whoa-ho-ho! What brings you two over? | 喔! 你们怎么过来了? |
| [11:13] | I was just on my way to the hospital. | 我正要去医院呢 |
| [11:14] | In a full suit? | 西装革履的? |
| [11:15] | Well, I got to show those docs | 我得让那些医生看看 |
| [11:17] | that they’re operating on classy merchandise. | 让他们开刀的可是个大人物 |
| [11:18] | Well, we just came by | 我们就是顺道来 |
| [11:20] | to see if you needed a ride to the procedure. | 看看你需不需要搭车去手术 |
| [11:22] | Since Honey has her appointment, | 蜜儿去看她的预约 |
| [11:24] | we figured we could lend a hand. | 我们觉得可以帮帮忙 |
| [11:25] | There’s no need. I’m gonna drive myself. | 不必要的 我自己开车去 |
| [11:27] | We could stop for ice cream on the way. | 咱们半道可以去买冰淇淋 |
| [11:29] | Shotgun! | 我要坐副驾驶座! |
| [11:34] | The pony’s name is Charlie! | 小马的名字是查理! |
| [11:36] | Very good! | 真棒! |
| [11:38] | Sorry I’m late. | 抱歉我来晚了 |
| [11:40] | How are you late? We came here together. | 你怎么会迟到? 咱们一起来的 |
| [11:42] | I saw some baby ducks | 我看到一些鸭宝宝 |
| [11:43] | and had to scope out if there was a pond here. | 就想知道有没有池塘 |
| [11:45] | There wasn’t. | 其实没有 |
| [11:46] | I think those ducks are in trouble. | 我觉得那些鸭子有麻烦了 |
| [11:48] | Isn’t his mane beautiful? | 他的鬃毛难道不漂亮吗? |
| [11:50] | – Hey, buddy! – Sure is! | – 嗨 哥们 – 当然好看了! |
| [11:52] | By the way, how’d you find this place? | 你怎么找到这个地方的? |
| [11:53] | Um… I know about it because we came here on our second date. | 嗯… 因为咱们第二次约会就来的这里 |
| [11:57] | Whaaat? | 什么? |
| [12:00] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [12:01] | You keep a picture of us in your purse? | 你把我们的照片放包里? |
| [12:03] | I thought you stopped liking me. | 我以为你不喜欢我了 |
| [12:05] | We’re broken up, | 咱们分手了 |
| [12:06] | but I’m not trying to forget you. | 但我也没试着忘了你 |
| [12:08] | It’s not like our time together meant nothing to me. | 又不是说咱们一起的时光对我来说毫无意义 |
| [12:10] | I know it’s my fault we’re here. | 我知道来到这儿是我的错 |
| [12:12] | I’ll tell Evan the truth as soon as we get back home. | 等我们一回到家我就告诉埃文真相 |
| [12:14] | His diet is mostly carrots! | 小马的食物主要是胡萝卜! |
| [12:16] | – You don’t say! – Great job! | – 是吗! – 你太棒了! |
| [12:22] | So, this is how you want to spend our time together? | 这就是您想要消磨时间的方式? |
| [12:24] | Rearranging shelves? | 整理架子? |
| [12:34] | I’m so sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [12:36] | My stupid bad luck. | 又是我的坏运气 |
| [12:52] | What, the ice cream place is in the park? | 公园里居然有卖冰激凌的？ |
| [12:55] | Yes. It’s a truck. It’s very trendy. | 是辆冰淇凌车 现在很流行呢 |
| [13:04] | Wow. There are a lot of homeless people around here. | 哇 公园里有这么多流浪汉啊 |
| [13:07] | Oh, those aren’t homeless people. | 他们可不是流浪汉 |
| [13:10] | They’re new parents. | 他们只是新手父母 |
| [13:12] | Is it time to pump again? | 又到吃奶的时间了吗？ |
| [13:14] | Mommy! | 妈咪！ |
| [13:15] | Mommy!! | 妈咪!! |
| [13:22] | Why? | 为什么？ |
| [13:24] | Well, what happened to all of them? | 这些父母们都怎么了? |
| [13:26] | Well, they’re exhausted from taking care of kids. | 他们被孩子折磨的精疲力尽 |
| [13:29] | Feeding them, changing their diapers. | 要不停喂小孩 换尿布 |
| [13:31] | You remember what that’s like, right? | 你还记得当年照顾妮科尔的时候 对吧 |
| [13:32] | Right. Right. | 当然了当然 |
| [13:34] | You don’t know what I’m talking about,do you? | 你不知道我在说什么对吧 |
| [13:35] | I don’t! | 我不知道! |
| [13:36] | No, I never experienced any of this with Nicole. | 我从来没有跟妮科尔一起经历过这些 |
| [13:38] | Her mother did all the heavy lifting. | 她妈妈把重活全包了 |
| [13:39] | I just went to work, I came home, | 我每天只需要去上班 |
| [13:40] | watched Carson’s monologue, then went to sleep. | 回到家看强尼卡森脱口秀 然后上床睡觉 |
| [13:42] | Well, that’s not gonna fly with Honey. | 蜜儿可不会让你这样做的 |
| [13:45] | Oh, that’s true. Yeah. | 确实不会 |
| [13:46] | Honey’s part of that new, uh, Generation X | 蜜儿是X一代的一员 |
| [13:49] | I read about in Newsweek. | 我在《新闻周刊》上读到过 |
| [13:51] | They’re progressive. | 他们思想很先进 |
| [13:52] | Well, taking care of a baby today is hard work. | 现在照顾一个宝宝确实很难 |
| [13:55] | We just want you to be aware of what you’re getting into. | 我俩只是想让你了解你将要入的坑是什么样 |
| [13:59] | Baby corn. | 小玉米 |
| [14:05] | Well, here we are. | 我们到了 |
| [14:06] | Mm-hmm. You sure you’re up for this? | 你确定准备好了? |
| [14:08] | Yep. | 是的 |
| [14:09] | Already shaved my neck. | 脖子都刮干净了呢 |
| [14:18] | Well, I guess we were wrong. He really does want this. | 这次我们猜错了 马文是真想要个宝宝 |
| [14:21] | I guess he does. | 我也这样认为 |
| [14:33] | I thought he was going in the hospital, and then he just turned! | 我以为他要进医院呢 没想到他直接掉头走了! |
| [14:35] | I did not see that coming! | 我可没想到会这样！ |
| [14:40] | Thank you. Bye. | 谢谢你 拜拜 |
| [14:41] | Amazing news! | 好消息! |
| [14:42] | Not only did I book us the karaoke room | 我不但订到了 |
| [14:44] | that has the best acoustics, | 音响效果最好的ktv包间 |
| [14:46] | I also got us the four-mic package. | 而且还订到了四话筒套装 |
| [14:48] | They didn’t think it was available, | 工作人员本以为不能订了 |
| [14:49] | but then they checked, and it was. | 但他们检查了一下说可以订 |
| [14:50] | I feel really good about this. | 这一切都让我很开心 |
| [14:52] | If Marvin wasn’t sure about having kids, | 如果马文不确定要不要小孩 |
| [14:54] | why rush into it? | 为什么那么着急呢 |
| [14:55] | There’s plenty of time. He’s barely 70. | 他”才”七十岁 还有大把的时间呢 |
| [14:57] | They’re lucky to have us looking out for them. | 有我们这样的关心他俩真是太幸运了 |
| [15:01] | So I get home from my gyno checkup, | 当我做完妇科检查完回到家 |
| [15:04] | which was a huge success. | 顺便说一下检查很成功 |
| [15:05] | She compared my uterus to the fertile shores of Oahu, and… | 医生说我的子宫简直跟瓦胡岛肥沃的海岸一样 但是… |
| [15:10] | I’m keeping it. | 我不想做手术了 |
| [15:12] | I’m keeping my vasectomy. | 我还要继续结扎 |
| [15:16] | He said he changed his mind, and he doesn’t want a baby. | 他说他改变了想法 而且不想要宝宝了 |
| [15:19] | Right now he doesn’t, | 他现在不想要 |
| [15:20] | but maybe in the future, he will. | 但将来可不一定 |
| [15:21] | In the meantime, | 在这段时间里 |
| [15:22] | let’s all just have fun. | 不如跟我们一起出去玩吧 |
| [15:24] | Fun sounds fun. | 听起来不错 |
| [15:29] | I’ll have to cross-reference my diary, | 虽然我会跟我的日记对比下 |
| [15:31] | but I think this is the best day of my life. | 但我认为今天真的是最棒的一天了 |
| [15:38] | So, I know we’ve been having a lot of fun today, | 今天确实玩的很开心 |
| [15:41] | but we need to talk about something serious. | 但是我们现在需要讨论点严肃的事 |
| [15:43] | Look, your brother and I… | 你哥哥跟我… |
| [15:45] | What I’m trying to say is… | 我想说的是… |
| [15:47] | Gosh, this is so hard. | 天 太难了 |
| [15:48] | Alison and I aren’t back together, Evan. | 艾莉森跟我没有和好 埃文 |
| [15:50] | We’re still broken up. | 我们还是分手状态 |
| [15:52] | I know she lied and said we’re back together, | 我知道她撒谎说我们和好了 |
| [15:54] | but it’s not her fault. | 但是这不是她的错 |
| [15:55] | It’s mine. | 是我的错 |
| [15:56] | This all happened because | 这都是因为 |
| [15:57] | I didn’t want you two to be friends. | 我不想让你们俩做朋友 |
| [16:00] | I was trying to forget about her after our breakup | 分手之后 我正努力忘记她 |
| [16:02] | and when I saw her in the house, I freaked. | 在家里看见她的时候 我都崩溃了 |
| [16:04] | But I realized that… | 但是我我意识到 |
| [16:06] | I don’t want to forget about her. | 我不想忘记她 |
| [16:08] | We had some great times. | 我们曾经多幸福 |
| [16:09] | So, I want you and her to be friends. | 所以 我想让你俩做朋友 |
| [16:11] | And hopefully, she and I can be friends, too. | 而且希望 她和我也可以当朋友 |
| [16:14] | Yeah. | 会的 |
| [16:15] | I think we’re gonna be friends, for sure. | 我们肯定会成为朋友的 |
| [16:17] | That’s sweet. | 你太好了 |
| [16:19] | Here’s what I think of your lies. | 对于你的谎话 我是这么想的 |
| [16:25] | Look what you did. | 看看你干的好事 |
| [16:26] | When was the last time he blinked? | 他最后一次眨眼是什么时候? |
| [16:30] | * Don’t go breaking my heart * | *别伤我的心* |
| [16:32] | * Don’t go breaking my * | *别伤我的* |
| [16:34] | * I won’t go breaking your heart * | *我不会伤你的心* |
| [16:39] | This next song is dedicated to my uterus. | 下一首歌 献给我的子宫 |
| [16:43] | *♪ All that she wants is one baby * | *她只想要一个小宝宝* |
| [16:46] | * She’s gone tomorrow, boy * | *她明天就要走了 男孩* |
| [16:48] | * All that she wants is * | *她只想要* |
| [16:50] | * One baby-a-yay-yay * My body, my choice! | *一个宝宝* 我的身体我做主! |
| [16:53] | * All that she wants is one baby * | *她只想要一个小宝宝* |
| [16:56] | * She’s gone tomor– * Wh– Sh– | *她明天就要走* |
| [16:59] | * What you want * | *你想要什么* |
| [17:01] | * Baby, I got it * | *宝贝 我明白了* |
| [17:03] | * What you need * | *你需要什么* |
| [17:05] | * You know I got it * | *你知道我明白的* |
| [17:07] | – What the hell is happening to you? – * All that I am askin’ for * | – 你这是见了什么鬼了? – *我想要的只是* |
| [17:10] | * Is just a little respect when you get home * | *你回家之后对我的一点点尊重而已* |
| [17:12] | Are they karaoke fighting? | 他们是在用卡拉OK互相喊话吗? |
| [17:14] | I don’t know, but I wish you would sing | 我不知道 但是我希望 |
| [17:15] | -with this much passion. -* Just a little bit * | – 你也能这么激情满满地唱歌 – *只要一点点* |
| [17:18] | * Just a — * | *只要* |
| [17:19] | You don’t get respect by changing your mind | 在你改变不想要孩子这想法之前 |
| [17:21] | last minute about having a baby! | 别想得到尊重 |
| [17:22] | It’s 1997. | 现在都1997年了 |
| [17:24] | You can’t tell a man what to do with his body! | 你不能指示一个男人如何支配他的身体! |
| [17:26] | I had doubts. | 我心里有疑问 |
| [17:27] | And — A-And Louis and Jessica | 路易斯和杰西卡 |
| [17:29] | -helped me confirm my doubts. -They what? | 让我确定了我的疑问 -他们怎么? |
| [17:31] | Oh, we just wanted to remind Marvin | 我们就是想提醒一下马文 |
| [17:33] | what having a baby was really like. | 有个孩子到底是怎样的 |
| [17:34] | It’s a big decision — one that all four of us | 这是个重大的决定 |
| [17:37] | need to be 100% on board for. | 我们四个全都要全身心的参与进来 |
| [17:40] | I can’t believe this. | 我不敢相信 |
| [17:45] | Oh, sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [17:46] | I had this queued up like 10 minutes ago. | 我等这首十分钟了 |
| [17:50] | * Gotta make a move to a town that’s right for me * | *我要搬家去一个合适我的小镇* |
| [18:00] | Mahjong! This is gonna be so much fun. | 麻将! 应该很好玩 |
| [18:03] | Throw the tiles around… | 把牌到处扔 |
| [18:18] | I am plotzing. These tiles are caliente! | 我胡了 牌运太旺 |
| [18:23] | We’re gonna take her down together. | 我们一起把她拉下冠军宝座 |
| [18:25] | We’re an unstoppable team. | 我们是无人能挡的组合 |
| [18:39] | Did you have me stand back there | 你要我站在那后面 |
| [18:41] | so you could use my bad luck to make Cheryl lose? | 是想利用我的烂运气让谢丽尔输掉吧? |
| [18:50] | I am? | 真的吗? |
| [19:02] | We can make a real dent. Who’s next? | 我们所向披靡 下一个是谁? |
| [19:12] | Pass the Normandy butter? | 把诺曼底黄油递给我一下? |
| [19:13] | Go to hell. | 去死吧你 |
| [19:15] | Sorry to interrupt your dinner. | 抱歉打扰你们吃晚餐 |
| [19:17] | How did you get in here? | 你们怎么进来的? |
| [19:18] | We’re not here to discuss your lack of home security. | 我们不是要探讨你们缺少房屋防盗系统的问题 |
| [19:20] | We’re here to apologize. | 我们是来道歉的 |
| [19:23] | I’m not interested in your apology. | 对你的道歉没啥兴趣 |
| [19:24] | I know it was selfish, but we didn’t want to see | 我知道这挺自私的 |
| [19:27] | our best friends go into kid jail | 但是我们不想看着最好的朋友被孩子给禁锢住 |
| [19:29] | just as we were getting out of it. | 而且是在我们正逐渐摆脱的时候 |
| [19:30] | If you want to have a baby, we support you. | 如果你们想要孩子 我们支持你们 |
| [19:33] | You’ll be great parents. | 你们两个会是很棒的父母 |
| [19:34] | Sorry! Shop’s closed. | 抱歉! 我关张了 |
| [19:36] | I have Nicole — one and done. | 我有妮科尔 一个就够了 |
| [19:38] | I know, and Nicole’s amazing. | 我知道 妮科尔很好 |
| [19:40] | But just think of how incredible | 但是想想 和蜜儿拥有一个宝宝 |
| [19:41] | it would be to have a baby with Honey. | 是多么美妙的事啊 |
| [19:45] | Pumpkin… I know you’re mad at me, | 小南瓜…我知道你生我的气了 |
| [19:48] | but I’m just nervous about my life changing. | 但是我只是因为生活会被改变而紧张 |
| [19:52] | I know you’d be a great mom, | 你会是很好的妈妈 |
| [19:55] | but I’m just not sure if I’m ready to be a father again. | 但是我还不确定自己有没有做好第二次当爹的准备 |
| [19:58] | I’m nervous, too. | 我也很紧张 |
| [20:00] | I never thought I wanted kids, like, ever. | 我从没想过要孩子 从来没有 |
| [20:04] | But then I met you, and that changed. | 但是之后我遇到了你 情况就变了 |
| [20:07] | Look, you may not be sure you’re ready, | 你可能不确定自己有没有做好准备 |
| [20:10] | but together, we’re ready. | 但是我们两个一起 一切都没问题了 |
| [20:13] | I think we are, too. | 我也这么想 |
| [20:14] | So, let’s untie these tubes and make a baby! | 所以 让我们解开结扎要个孩子吧 |
| [20:21] | I say this with love, but please, | 我是带着爱意说的 但是拜托 |
| [20:22] | never interfere in our lives again. | 再也不要掺和我们的生活了 |
| [20:25] | I say this with love — no promises. | 我也是带着爱意说的 不敢保证 |
| [20:28] | So, I’m just gonna get right into it. | 我就直入正题了 |
| [20:29] | Can I go to the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival next weekend? | 我下周末能去密歇根女性音乐节吗? |
| [20:32] | It’s a woman’s-only event celebrating the crossroads | 这是个女性专属的活动 |
| [20:34] | between music and femininity. | 来庆祝音乐和女权主义的碰撞交叉 |
| [20:35] | Tori Amos is playing | 托莉·阿莫斯周六晚上 |
| [20:36] | the Nair Hair Removal stage Saturday night. | 要在奈尔脱毛赞助的舞台上演奏 |
| [20:38] | Dad, you like her, you saw her on TV and said, | 爸 你喜欢她的 你在电视上看见她的时候说 |
| [20:40] | “Who’s the mermaid on the keys?” | “那个弹钢琴的美人鱼是谁?” |
| [20:41] | And I said, “That’s Tori Amos.” | 我说 “是托莉·阿莫斯” |
| [20:43] | I should have said, “She’s playing at the Womyn’s Festival” | 我本来应该说 “她要在女性音乐节上弹琴了” |
| [20:45] | and asked you about it then, but I didn’t. | 然后再问你我能不能去的 但是我没说 |
| [20:47] | So here we are. | 所以我现在来问你 |
| [20:48] | Anyway, it’s all on the flier, | 反正这些都写在传单上了 |
| [20:49] | which I’m gonna leave here for you to read. | 我把它留在这给你们看 |
| [20:53] | It’s, uh… | 这… |
| [21:01] | Two days. | 两天 |
| [21:03] | We paid for fifteen years of storage on the couch lasted two days. | 我们辛辛苦苦储藏十五年的沙发 只完好了两天 |
| [21:07] | You want me to find out which one of them did it? | 要我找出来是哪个崽子干的吗? |
| [21:09] | No. We just ground all of them. | 不用 我要禁足所有人 |
| [21:11] | I guess we still can have nice things. | 我觉得还能抢救一下 |
| [21:14] | I’ll flip the cusion. | 我把坐垫翻过来 |
| [21:15] | Don’t. It’s from my water broke, remember? | 别 那边有我破了的羊水 记得吧? |
| [21:18] | Eddie somehow managed to ruin the couch | 埃迪甚至在来到这个世界以前 |
| [21:20] | even before he’s on this earth. | 就成功地把沙发毁了一次 |