| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | So, for Halloween — | -那万圣节… |
| [00:04] | I’m not doing a couples costume. | -我是不会穿情侣装的 |
| [00:05] | That’s not what I was going to say, | 我不是那个意思 |
| [00:07] | but since you brought it up, this year, | 不过既然你提起来了 |
| [00:08] | Halloween does fall on a Saturday — date night. | 今年 万圣节正好在星期六 |
| [00:11] | You wear a black dress, I go as ALF, | 约会之夜 你穿条黑裙子 我扮成阿尔夫 |
| [00:13] | and you’re my puppeteer! | 你就是我的木偶师 |
| [00:14] | You love black dresses | 你很喜欢黑裙子啊 |
| [00:16] | and putting words into my mouth. | 也喜欢教我做事 |
| [00:17] | ALF was a puppet? | 阿尔夫是个木偶？ |
| [00:18] | [ Knocking on door ] Honey: Yoo-hoo! It’s us. | 是我们 |
| [00:20] | Ooh, give me those fat baby thighs. | 让我看看宝宝的屁屁 |
| [00:25] | Why is there no baby? Where’s the baby? | 宝宝呢？咋不在呢？ |
| [00:27] | Sleeping safely at home. | 乖乖在家睡觉呢 |
| [00:28] | We’re testing out the new baby monitor. | 我们在试验新的宝宝监控 |
| [00:30] | Marvin: [ Chuckling ] Yeah. This is the farthest | 是啊 |
| [00:31] | we’ve ever gone without her. [ Baby monitor whirring ] | 我们都没离她这么远过 |
| [00:33] | I can sit on your stoop and drink a glass of wine. | 我可以在你家喝杯酒 |
| [00:34] | [ Both laugh ] | |
| [00:36] | [ Baby monitor shuts off ] | |
| [00:37] | Oh. | Oh. |
| [00:38] | End of the line. Listen — | 没信号了 |
| [00:40] | we didn’t just come here for monitor science. | 是这样的 我们不只是来测试技术的 |
| [00:43] | We came to ask if you two would consider | 我们是来问你们 |
| [00:45] | being godparents to Maria. | 愿不愿意做玛莉亚的教父母 |
| [00:47] | Oh, yes, yes, yes! | 太愿意了！ |
| [00:49] | [ Laughter ] | |
| [00:51] | -Oh! | -Oh! |
| [00:52] | That’s wonderful. Thank you. | 太好了 谢谢你们 |
| [00:54] | I knew it would either be us or Bill and Melinda Gates. | 我就知道除了比尔盖茨夫妇 只有我们最合适了 |
| [00:57] | We’d be happy to be your death back-up parents. | 我们特别开心能做你们的托孤备胎 |
| [01:00] | [ Laughs ] And you know the great thing about godparents? | 知道做教父母最大的福利是什么吗？ |
| [01:03] | They’re always up for babysitting. | 可以随时照顾宝宝！ |
| [01:05] | We’d be honored. Any time. | -随时愿意效劳 |
| [01:07] | Yes! | -没错 |
| [01:08] | How about Saturday night? Date night. | 周六晚上如何？约会之夜 |
| [01:10] | Ooh! | |
| [01:11] | But that’s Halloween. | -但那是万圣节啊 |
| [01:13] | Is it? We’ll do it. | -是吗？ |
| [01:15] | -[ Laughing ] All right! -Yay! | -说定了 |
| [01:17] | — Captions by VITAC — | -太好了 |
| [01:20] | * Fresh off the boat | 初来乍到 |
| [01:21] | * I’m gettin’ mine everywhere I go * | 所到之处 尽显真我 |
| [01:23] | * If you don’t know, homey, now you know * | 如果你之前没听说过我 那你现在就会认识我 |
| [01:25] | * Fresh off the boat | 初来乍到 |
| [01:26] | * Homey, you don’t know where I come from * | 你不知道我来自何处 |
| [01:29] | * But I know where I’m goin’ | 但我知道我将去往何地 |
| [01:30] | * I’m fresh off the boat | 《初来乍到》 |
| [01:33] | ** | |
| [01:36] | [ As Marlon Brando ] I’m gonna make you an offer | 我要向你提出一个难以拒绝的邀请 |
| [01:37] | you can’t refuse. | |
| [01:39] | Are you The Penguin from “Batman”? | 你是《蝙蝠侠》里的企鹅吗？ |
| [01:41] | ‘Cause he wears a top hat. | |
| [01:42] | [ Normal voice ] I’m The Godfather. | 是《教父》 |
| [01:43] | You tried to kill Halloween with babysitting, | 你妄图用照顾宝宝为借口取消万圣节 |
| [01:45] | but you’ve only made it stronger. | 但不消反涨 |
| [01:47] | Now I can do a couples costume with Marvin and Honey’s baby. | 现在我可以帮马尔文和哈妮的宝宝 做圣诞装扮 |
| [01:50] | [ Chuckles ] She’ll be the severed horse’s head. | 她可以当马头仆人 |
| [01:52] | Her little face peeking out of the horse’s mouth? | 她的小脸从马嘴这边露出来 |
| [01:54] | [ Chuckles ] I die. I die just thinking about it. | 光想象我都受不了 |
| [01:56] | What if she suffocates? | 万一窒息了怎么办？ |
| [01:57] | Wasn’t married to it. | 不会的 |
| [01:59] | [ Horse mask thuds ] | |
| [02:00] | So, have you boys figured out | 那你们想好万圣节扮成什么了吗？ |
| [02:01] | your joint Halloween costume yet? | |
| [02:03] | We’re gonna be Fred and Barney from “The Flintstones.” | 《摩登原始人》里的弗雷德和巴尼 |
| [02:05] | No. I’m gonna need you both in pants, | 不行 我需要你们都穿裤子 |
| [02:07] | especially since the two of you | 尤其是今年你俩都要发糖果 |
| [02:09] | are gonna be handing out candy this year. | |
| [02:12] | That is, if you’re up for it. Listening. | 如果你们愿意的话 |
| [02:14] | One piece of candy per kid, | -你说 -每个孩子一颗糖 |
| [02:16] | nobody gets anything for just a Dolphins jersey, | 穿了海豚队球衣的不要发 |
| [02:18] | and no white sheets. | 披白色床单的也不要发 |
| [02:20] | It’s either a lazy ghost or something much worse. | 要么是个懒鬼 要么就更糟糕 |
| [02:22] | Dad, don’t worry. We’ve got this. | 爸 别担心 我们知道的 |
| [02:24] | Good, because one false move, and the house gets egged. | 好 错了一步 我们就会被扔鸡蛋啊 |
| [02:27] | Sure, we can clean it all up, | 是可以清理干净 |
| [02:28] | but the shame will last for years. ** | 但是太丢脸了 |
| [02:33] | [ Sighs ] Okay. | 好 |
| [02:34] | So, the plan for Halloween is to meet the guys | 万圣节的计划是 |
| [02:36] | at the cemetery at sundown. | 日落时分在墓地集合 |
| [02:37] | Spending the night there is gonna be so creepy fun. | 整晚呆在那边 简直酷毙 |
| [02:40] | Yeah, sure, cool. | 嗯 好 对 |
| [02:42] | Eddie, I’m not feeling heard by you. | 艾迪 你没听我说吧 |
| [02:44] | Sorry. I’m trying to find a job so I can buy a car. | 对不起 我想找个工作 |
| [02:47] | Ooh! The country club’s hiring! | 这样就能买车了 乡村俱乐部在招人 |
| [02:49] | Do bathroom tenants get to pee on the job, or…? | 厕所清洁工上班的时候可以小便吗？ |
| [02:51] | Do they have to hold it? | 还是要憋着？ |
| [02:53] | If you want a job, why don’t you just go back to Cattleman’s? | 你找工作的话 为什么不回牛仔牧场那边？ |
| [02:55] | I’m not trying to work at my pop’s restaurant my whole life. | 我才不想一辈子都在我爸的餐厅打工 |
| [02:58] | I got my own plans. | 我自有打算 |
| [02:59] | I want to prove I can do this myself. | 我想证明我能自立 |
| [03:01] | But you’re still bringing the day-old ribs | 你干完活还是会去墓地的吧？ |
| [03:03] | to the cemetery, right? | |
| [03:04] | Of course. It’s gonna be awesome. | 那当然 肯定帅炸了 |
| [03:06] | I’ve memorized things Brian’s dead grandma used to say. | 我记得布莱恩奶奶生前说的 |
| [03:08] | Gonna scare the crap out of him. | 可以把他吓尿 |
| [03:10] | [ As Brian’s grandma ] “I once got hit on by Ronald Reagan.” | “我有一次被罗纳德里根打了” |
| [03:12] | [ Jingle plays on television ] | |
| [03:14] | You know what scares me? | 你知道我最怕什么吗？会跳舞的床 |
| [03:15] | That dancing bed. | |
| [03:16] | * When you need to rest your sleepy head * | 累了困了想睡觉了 |
| [03:19] | * Go to “Beds! Beds! Beds!” and buy a bed * | 请来床床家！买张床 |
| [03:21] | [ Ding! ] | |
| [03:23] | Beds! Beds! Beds! I can work there. | 床床家！我可以去那儿打工 |
| [03:25] | I’ve spent half my life on a mattress. | 我大半辈子都在床上 |
| [03:27] | I’m the king of napping. | 我就是睡王 |
| [03:28] | The California King. | 加州之王 |
| [03:31] | You know, it’s a longer mattress than a… | 你不知道吗 床垫比较长… |
| [03:33] | You know what? You’re gonna do great. | 没错 |
| [03:35] | ** | 你一定可以做得很好 床床家 |
| [03:40] | A Japanese man saved my father’s life once, so… | 一位日本人曾救过我父亲的性命 |
| [03:44] | you’re hired. I’ll take it! | -所以 你被录用了 -太好了 |
| [03:46] | And I’ll take my commission in cash, too, if that’s cool. | 如果可以的话 我想提成也发现金 |
| [03:49] | [ Sighs ] No, I can’t put you on sales. | 我不能让你做销售 |
| [03:51] | Lucas handles sales. | 卢卡斯负责这块 |
| [03:53] | [ Snoring ] | |
| [03:55] | Oh, he’s just setting the bait. | 他在当托呢 |
| [03:57] | Customers see a doze like that, | 顾客看见他那样 |
| [03:59] | they want some for themselves. | 自然而然就想买了 |
| [04:01] | Now, you’ll be in the back assembling beds, | 你的工作是在后台 组装床 |
| [04:04] | de-vacuum-packing pillows, | 给枕头抽真空 |
| [04:06] | making coffee. Sir, please. | 做咖啡… 先生 |
| [04:08] | I can sell mattresses. | 求求你了 |
| [04:09] | Just give me a chance. | 我可以卖床垫的 给我个机会吧 |
| [04:11] | Kid’s got a set of springs on him. | 这孩子还挺有激情 |
| [04:14] | All right. Tell you what — | 好吧 这样吧 你可以做万圣夜惊悚销售 |
| [04:15] | you can work our all-night Halloween Spooktacular sale. | 好吧 这样吧 你可以做万圣夜惊悚销售 |
| [04:19] | Oh, well I was gonna spend my night in the cemetery, | 哎呀 我还要去墓地呢 |
| [04:21] | but you know what? | 但是 |
| [04:22] | I’ll be here. I won’t let you down. | 没问题 |
| [04:24] | * Yeah | 我会来的 |
| [04:26] | ** | 不会让您失望的 |
| [04:28] | [ Door opens ] | |
| [04:32] | Why are you throwing away candy? | 为什么把糖扔掉？ |
| [04:33] | I am saving the boys some guesswork. | 给他们省省事 |
| [04:35] | I’m chucking all the Smarties. | 我在检查聪明豆 |
| [04:36] | Sweet chalk? I don’t think so. | 甜粉笔 算了吧 |
| [04:38] | Get this — Marvin and Honey | 看这个 |
| [04:40] | made us a list of baby instructions. | 马尔文和哈妮 给我们写了宝宝指南 |
| [04:43] | “Ask her permission before you check her diaper. | “换尿布之前取得她的同意” |
| [04:45] | No peek-a-boo after 4:00 p.m.” | “下午四点后不要玩躲猫猫” |
| [04:47] | “Don’t let her watch lacrosse on TV”? | “别让她在电视上看长曲棍球比赛” |
| [04:50] | [ Chuckles ] New parents. | 新手父母啊 |
| [04:51] | Did you tell them how amazing we were with our babies? | 你有没有跟他们说 我们带孩子带得多好？ |
| [04:54] | Of course, for like an hour. | -当然了 |
| [04:55] | And they still gave you the list? | 吹了有一个小时呢 -那还给你开个单子？ |
| [04:56] | White people love lists. | -白人就喜欢开单子 |
| [04:58] | As if we need baby instructions. | -搞得像我们需要什么指南一样 |
| [04:59] | Hey, Evel Knievel, here’s how you jump | 班门弄斧 |
| [05:01] | 15 buses on a motorcycle. | 自作聪明 贻笑大方 |
| [05:03] | Let’s file this with that recipe for upside-down cake | 把这个跟哈妮给我的 |
| [05:06] | that Honey gave me. Alley-oop! | 垃圾蛋糕食谱放一起吧 |
| [05:09] | [ Laughs ] | |
| [05:11] | Is this a Mervyn’s bag? | 这是马文百货商场的袋子吗？ |
| [05:12] | When are we gonna stop reusing bags? | 什么时候能不重复用购物袋了？ |
| [05:14] | We’re doing really well. We can buy trash bags. | 我们资金情况还行 |
| [05:17] | [ Insects chirping ] | |
| [05:19] | [ Soft music plays in background ] | |
| [05:23] | [ Heavy breathing ] | |
| [05:25] | [ Dramatic music plays ] | |
| [05:27] | ** -Aah! -[ Screams ] | 可以买得起垃圾袋的 |
| [05:34] | Trent, what are you doing here? | 特伦特 你干嘛呢？ |
| [05:35] | Couldn’t let my best bud work the ‘ween all by himself. | 不能让我最好的兄弟 万圣夜一个人干活 |
| [05:37] | I did some trick-or-treating on the way over | 路上我要了点糖 |
| [05:39] | so you’d have enough chocolate to stay up all night. | 这样你熬得再晚巧克力也足够了 |
| [05:41] | Aren’t you supposed to be at the cemetery? | 你不是去墓地了吗？ |
| [05:43] | Nah, I stopped by, | 没 |
| [05:44] | but, honestly, what’s the big deal? | 我路过了一下 但那有什么大不了的？ |
| [05:46] | You think I haven’t been to a graveyard before? | 你以为我以前没去过？ |
| [05:48] | I’ve lost several loved ones. | 我有好几个亲人去世了 |
| [05:49] | [ Crowing ] | |
| [05:51] | Die, Satan! [ Crowing stops ] | 去死吧 魔鬼！ |
| [05:53] | [ Gasps ] | |
| [05:54] | Seemed like he was gonna be a distraction. | 他看起来会影响我发挥 |
| [05:56] | ** | |
| [05:59] | I can’t believe they thought we were “Men in Black.” | 我不敢相信他们以为我们是黑衣人 |
| [06:01] | “Men in Black” wear sunglasses, | 黑衣人是戴墨镜 |
| [06:03] | Mulder and Scully wear badges. | 穆德和史高利有徽章 |
| [06:04] | When I opened the X-Files, I knew there’d be doubters. | 我一看《X档案》就知道有人分不清 |
| [06:07] | People fear the unknown. | -大家都害怕未知 |
| [06:09] | We live in it. | -我们生于未知 |
| [06:10] | The Baby Ruth is out there. | -糖果来咯 |
| [06:12] | You did it, Mulder. | -该你了 |
| [06:13] | [ Knocking on door ] Children: Trick or treat! | 穆德 |
| [06:15] | [ Indistinct conversations ] | |
| [06:17] | Thanks again for babysitting. | 再次感谢照顾孩子 |
| [06:18] | Honey and I are gonna make the most of our night out. | 哈妮和我几乎整晚都在外面 |
| [06:20] | My spinach can is full of rum! [ Imitates Popeye’s laugh ] | 我的菠菜罐头里全是酒 |
| [06:23] | We are so happy to help. | 很高兴能帮忙 |
| [06:24] | In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Louis happier. | 其实吧 我就没见路易斯这么开心过 |
| [06:27] | [ In Italian accent ] It’s-a me, Mario, | 我是马里奥 |
| [06:29] | and my little helper, Yoshi! | 这是我的小助手吉田 |
| [06:31] | [ Laughs ] There are no girl dinosaurs, Louis. | 没有女恐龙 |
| [06:34] | That’s how they got extinct. | 路易斯 他们就是这样灭绝的 |
| [06:35] | -[ Cries ] -Okay! | 好嘞 |
| [06:36] | So fun! | 真好玩 |
| [06:38] | Now, don’t forget — bedtime is 7:30. | 别忘了啊 七点半上床 |
| [06:40] | Well, I mean, you know that. | 我是说 你们知道的 |
| [06:43] | -You have the list. -Memorized. | 你们有单子嘛 记住了 |
| [06:45] | You two go enjoy your night. This is nothing for us. | 你们尽去享受吧 对我们来说这是小菜一碟 |
| [06:47] | We’ll get her down and have time to clean your kitchen, | 我们会哄她睡觉的 |
| [06:50] | which needs it. [ Softly ] Hi. | 还要帮你们清洗厨房 拜拜 |
| [06:52] | There you go. Aww… [ Crying stops ] | 给你 |
| [06:54] | I’m surprised to see the daughter of a dentist | 牙医的女儿居然用奶嘴 |
| [06:56] | using a pacifier. | |
| [06:58] | That’s what I say. | 我也是这么说的 |
| [06:59] | Everybody knows that the suck leads to buck. | 大家都知道越唆越龅牙 |
| [07:03] | Teeth. Buck teeth. | 牙 龅牙 |
| [07:06] | [ Laughs ] We really need this night out. | 我们真的需要放松一晚 |
| [07:08] | Hey, guys, | 还有 |
| [07:09] | you’re really good with babies. | 你们很会带孩子 |
| [07:11] | Do you think maybe you could wean her off it? | 能不能帮她戒掉奶嘴？ |
| [07:13] | -Hallo-wean her off it. -No problem. | -万圣节戒掉奶嘴 -没问题 |
| [07:15] | We got Eddie to take the paci in one night. | 我们一个晚上就让艾迪戒掉了 |
| [07:18] | Both: * That with the sun’s love | 太阳之爱 |
| [07:21] | * In the spring | 在春天化为玫瑰 |
| [07:23] | * Becomes the rose | |
| [07:27] | [ Insects chirping ] | |
| [07:34] | Emery was even easier. | 艾默利更容易 |
| [07:36] | Don’t forget — you’re looking at | 别忘了 |
| [07:37] | a couple of seasoned baby whisperers. | 你们面前的是一对 经验丰富的哄孩子专家 |
| [07:39] | [ Marvin chuckles ] | |
| [07:40] | Now, go neck in the woods, you crazy kids. | 去玩吧 |
| [07:42] | -We got this. -[ Laughs ] | 你们两个疯子 交给我们了 |
| [07:44] | Thank you. | 谢谢了 |
| [07:46] | [ Maria crying ] Put it back in! Put it back in! | 放回去 |
| [07:48] | [ Crying stops ] | |
| [07:52] | [ Crying resumes ] Oh! Gosh! Uh. | 快放回去 |
| [07:55] | [ Crying stops ] | |
| [07:56] | This baby’s broken! | 这娃没救了 |
| [08:01] | We’ve sung “The Rose” eight times, | 我们都唱了八遍《玫瑰》了 拿掉奶嘴她还哭 |
| [08:03] | and she still cries for the pacifier. | 你肯定是跑调了 |
| [08:04] | You must not be in key. Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [08:05] | Costume number two should do the trick — | 二号装扮可以解决 |
| [08:07] | Kuato from “Total Recall.” You just don’t recognize me | 《宇宙威龙》里的阿托 |
| [08:09] | without a mutant baby coming out of me. | 要是我身上没有变异宝宝 你是认不出来的 |
| [08:11] | This chest hole will be comforting like the womb. | 这个袋子 会跟子宫一样舒服 |
| [08:13] | She won’t even miss the paci. | 她就不会想要奶嘴了 |
| [08:15] | Open your mind. | 想不到吧 -我错了 |
| [08:17] | [ Crying ] I was wrong! Get her out! | 把她抱出去 -放下来 |
| [08:19] | Put her down! Get her out! Ohh! | Put her down! |
| [08:21] | I don’t understand what’s happening! | 我搞不懂了 |
| [08:22] | It was so easy with Eddie! | -艾迪当时就很容易 |
| [08:24] | The truth is… | -其实吧 |
| [08:26] | it might not have been as easy with Eddie as you thought. | 艾迪也没你想的那么容易 |
| [08:28] | Both: * The rose | 玫瑰 |
| [08:33] | [ Crying ] | |
| [08:34] | [ Door opens ] | |
| [08:36] | [ Crying continues ] | |
| [08:39] | [ Crying continues ] | |
| [08:42] | [ Crying stops ] [ Sighs ] | |
| [08:46] | Louis! You were completely undermining my parenting. | 路易斯 你完全破坏了我的育儿计划 |
| [08:49] | I wasn’t undermining. | 没有 那不是“破坏” |
| [08:51] | I was collaborating while you were not in the room. | 那叫合作 当你不在房间的时候 |
| [08:53] | Besides, I only did it once or twice. | 而且 |
| [08:55] | A night. | 我只做了一两次 就一晚 |
| [08:57] | For a year or so. | -好吧 |
| [08:58] | Oh, my God. | 差不多一年 -我的天呐 |
| [08:59] | Well, you were finally getting some sleep. | 你总算可以好好睡觉了 |
| [09:01] | I didn’t want him to wake you. | 我不想让他吵醒你 |
| [09:02] | Eventually, he outgrew the pacifier | 最终 他长大了 |
| [09:04] | and no one was the wiser. | 不需要奶嘴了 无知者无罪嘛 |
| [09:06] | Not being wise is being dumb! | 无知就是愚蠢 |
| [09:08] | You made me dumb! | 你让我变成了笨蛋 |
| [09:09] | [ Doorbell rings ] Children: Trick or treat! | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
| [09:10] | I put a sign on the door! [ Maria crying ] | 我在门上挂标志了 |
| [09:12] | Damn this holiday! | 这节真糟 |
| [09:13] | Okay, you take Halloween. I’ll take the baby. | 好 你去忙万圣节的事 我来管孩子 |
| [09:15] | Apparently, I’m the only one of us who has the stomach | 显然 我们两个里面 |
| [09:17] | to do the hard work of good parenting. | 只有我有肚量坚持做一个好家长 |
| [09:19] | Stomach? If that’s a dig at my Kuato hole, | “肚量”？ |
| [09:21] | you’re taking it a step too far. | 如果你是嘲笑我的阿托袋 |
| [09:22] | ** | 那太过了啊 |
| [09:25] | Okay, here it goes — | 好 |
| [09:27] | sales pitch. | 来了 推销 |
| [09:28] | [ Exhales deeply ] | |
| [09:30] | I’m guessing you’re a man who runs hot. | 这位先生 您看起来满头大汗 |
| [09:31] | You know I am. You make me sit on paper towels | 你也知道啊 我扮成古惑狼的时候 |
| [09:34] | when I come over for “Crash Bandicoot.” | 你让我坐纸巾上 |
| [09:36] | Okay, just — You’re not Trent. | 好吧 |
| [09:37] | You’re my pretend customer. | 哎呀…你现在不是特伦特 你假装是一位客户 |
| [09:39] | [ Deep voice ] Yes, yes. Please go on. | 好的 继续吧 |
| [09:40] | So, you sleep hot, | 那么 |
| [09:42] | but say your wife gets easily chilled. Yes, my wife, | 你睡觉时很热 但你妻子觉得冷 |
| [09:45] | Sarah Michelle Gellar, runs cold. | 没错 我老婆莎拉米歇尔盖拉怕冷 |
| [09:47] | I call her “Buffy the Thermostat Slayer.” | 我叫她吸血鬼猎人巴菲 |
| [09:49] | [ Chuckles ] Fine. | |
| [09:50] | You and your wife, the gorgeous, famous actress, | 行吧 您与尊夫人 美丽动人的著名演员 |
| [09:53] | will both love this hybrid model | 都会爱上这款混合型床垫 |
| [09:55] | with our patented hot-away foam on top — | 顶部配有我们的专利热泡沫… |
| [09:57] | [ Normal voice ] Shh! | |
| [10:00] | D-Did you hear that? | 你听见了吗？ |
| [10:01] | [ Creaking ] [ Scoffs ] | |
| [10:03] | Relax. It’s just the vibrating function. [ Creaking stops ] | 放轻松 振动器而已啦 |
| [10:06] | The only thing you should be scared of | 你唯一该怕的就是运费 |
| [10:07] | is a delivery fee, which we waive. | 我们给你免了 |
| [10:09] | I wasn’t scared. Besides, we’re safe here. | 我才没害怕呢 而且我们在这儿很安全 |
| [10:11] | I locked the door when I came in. | -我来的时候把门锁上了 -特伦特！ |
| [10:13] | Trent! How am I supposed to sell a mattress | 你把门锁上我还怎么卖床垫？ |
| [10:15] | if the door is locked? | |
| [10:16] | Not by making excuses like that. | 不用找借口 |
| [10:19] | [ Knocking on door ] [ Indistinct conversations ] | |
| [10:21] | All: Trick or treat! | 不给糖就捣蛋！ |
| [10:23] | Hello, friends. What have we here? | 朋友们好 你们这扮的是谁？ |
| [10:25] | Britney Spears. Hit me baby one more time? | 布兰妮斯皮尔斯 “宝贝再拥抱我一次” |
| [10:30] | Evan: And three Harry Potters! | 还有三个哈利波特 |
| [10:31] | Please compliment your mothers on your scar makeup. | 你们妈妈画的疤痕真不错 |
| [10:34] | I did mine myself. | 我是自己画的 |
| [10:36] | Mm. | |
| [10:39] | [ Candy clatters ] | |
| [10:43] | Trick or treat! | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
| [10:46] | Weren’t you just here, Britney? | 你不是才来过吗 布兰妮？ |
| [10:48] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我听不懂你在说什么 |
| [10:49] | [ British accent ] I’m Hermione Granger. | 我是赫敏格兰杰 |
| [10:51] | Candy-loriam! Chocolatose! | 糖果飞来！巧克力飞来！ |
| [10:54] | Mulder? A word. | 穆德 我有话说 |
| [10:56] | [ Quietly ] What do we do? It’s the same girl. | 怎么办？这是同一个人 |
| [10:58] | Dad said one piece of candy per person. | 老爸说一个人只发一次糖 |
| [11:00] | What if she’s telling the truth, Scully? | 史高利 万一她说的是真的怎么办？ |
| [11:02] | I want to believe. | “我情愿相信” |
| [11:04] | Fine, but if we run out of candy, | 好吧 |
| [11:06] | the egging is on you. | 但要是糖发完了 都是你的锅 |
| [11:08] | Sorry about my partner, Scully. Such a skeptic. | 对不起 我的同伴史高利 是个怀疑论者 |
| [11:11] | Trick or treat. | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
| [11:12] | [ Both gasp ] | |
| [11:13] | [ Scary music plays ] | |
| [11:18] | I solved the trick-or-treat problem. | 我解决问题了 |
| [11:20] | Snipping wires is not as stressful | 剪电线没电影里那么吓人 |
| [11:21] | as they make it seem in the movies. | |
| [11:23] | Permission to sniff your bottom? | 可以闻闻您的屁股吗？ |
| [11:26] | You brought the baby list? | 你把育儿清单拿来了？ |
| [11:27] | Uh, no, this is… our will. | 没有 这是我们的遗嘱 |
| [11:29] | I wrote it up while you were gone. | 你不在的时候我写的 |
| [11:31] | You don’t believe in wills. | 你不信遗嘱 |
| [11:33] | You said you want to be buried with everything we own. | 你说你要所有财产陪葬 |
| [11:35] | Give me that. [ Sighs ] | 给我 |
| [11:36] | You dug through our trash? | 你翻垃圾桶了？ |
| [11:38] | I was afraid I’d need it. | 我怕我们会需要 |
| [11:40] | Funny, I thought you were the only parent here | 真好笑 |
| [11:41] | who had the stomach for all this. | 我还以为你是在场唯一一个 有肚量完成一切的呢 |
| [11:43] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [11:45] | I may have cut a few corners with Emery. | 我可能选择性遗忘了艾默利的一些事 |
| [11:48] | ** Shh. | 如果不哭了我可以赚十块钱 |
| [11:55] | [ Emery crying ] | |
| [11:57] | [ Door opens ] | |
| [12:05] | [ Emery cooing ] | |
| [12:07] | You made my mother night-nurse my son? | 你让我妈晚上给我儿子做看护？ |
| [12:10] | Yes, because of you! | 对！因为你 |
| [12:11] | You tricked me into thinking Eddie was perfect. | 你骗我说艾迪是完美的孩子 |
| [12:13] | I didn’t want people to think there was something wrong with Emery. | 我不希望别人觉得艾默利有什么问题 |
| [12:16] | Well, now Marvin and Honey are gonna think | 好 |
| [12:17] | something’s wrong with us! | 那现在马尔文和哈妮 就会觉得我们有点问题了 |
| [12:18] | We promised we’d wean Maria off the pacifier. | 我们答应了要帮玛利亚戒掉奶嘴的 |
| [12:22] | We don’t deserve to be godparents. | 我们不配做教父母 |
| [12:24] | We were barely even parents. | 我们连做父母都不配 |
| [12:26] | We need a hand. | 我们要请求外援 |
| [12:28] | [ Cooing ] | |
| [12:29] | [ Scary music plays ] | |
| [12:31] | I hear someone can’t sleep. | 我听说有的小朋友不肯睡觉 |
| [12:37] | Trick or treat. | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
| [12:39] | Welcome back, Hermione Britney. | 欢迎回来 赫敏布兰妮 |
| [12:41] | As if. I’m Cher from “Clueless.” | 那是谁啊 我是《独领风骚》的雪儿 |
| [12:44] | Mulder? | 穆德 |
| [12:47] | She’s back for a third time | 她来了三次了 |
| [12:49] | tricking us for treats. | 耍我们呢 |
| [12:51] | This is everything Dad warned us about. | 老爸警告过我们的 |
| [12:53] | What if she’s a clone? It’s Halloween. | 万一她是克隆人怎么办呢？ |
| [12:55] | Strange things happen. [ Sighs ] | 现在可是万圣节 无奇不有啊 |
| [12:57] | It’s your show, Mulder. | 算在你头上了 |
| [12:58] | ** | 穆德 |
| [13:03] | We need you to wean her off the pacifier | 我们想要你帮他戒掉奶嘴 |
| [13:04] | like you did with Emery. | 就像对艾默利那样 把孩子给我 |
| [13:07] | Well, can you take off the knife gloves? | 你能不能把刀具手套摘掉？ |
| [13:09] | No. | -不行 -好吧 那告诉我们 |
| [13:11] | Well, then just tell us. | 好吧 很简单 马尔文威士忌放在哪里呀？ 把酒抹在她那个牙花上 |
| [13:19] | You gave Emery whiskey?! | 你给艾默利喝威士忌了？ 哦别着急 不是好酒 |
| [13:23] | No whiskey. Well, that’s it. | -不能用威士忌 -算了 |
| [13:25] | We’re all out of tricks. | 就这样吧 没招了 |
| [13:27] | Wait. We still had one more baby. | 等等 |
| [13:28] | What did we do with Evan? [ Sighs ] Evan was perfect. | 还有个呢 艾文是怎么搞的？ |
| [13:31] | He never even took the pacifier! | 艾文特别完美 他就没叼过奶嘴 |
| [13:32] | Damn you, perfect Evan! [ Maria crying ] | 该死 |
| [13:34] | Aah. Ohh. | 完美的艾文 她不喜欢我把奶嘴拿出来 |
| [13:39] | That was our only pacifier! | -就这一个奶嘴 |
| [13:41] | Well… | -嗯呢… |
| [13:43] | [ Humming ] | |
| [13:44] | [ Crying continues ] | |
| [13:48] | Now, we call this pillow the faux-down hoedown. | 现在 |
| [13:50] | Just close your eyes and relax. | 我们把这个枕头当作人造枕头 |
| [13:54] | ** | 闭眼 |
| [13:56] | [ Telephone ringing ] What was that?! | 放松 |
| [13:58] | The phone? [ Gasps ] | -那是什么？ -电话啊 |
| [14:00] | [ Ringing continues ] | |
| [14:01] | The call is coming from inside the store! | 电话是从店里打来的 |
| [14:05] | [ Ringing stops, glass shatters ] | |
| [14:06] | [ Scoffs ] You got to chill, man! | 冷静啊 |
| [14:08] | That could’ve been a customer! | 兄弟 万一是个顾客呢 |
| [14:09] | Or a killer on the premises. | 或是个现场杀手 |
| [14:11] | Do you know how many people die from pillow suffocation? | 你知道有多少人因枕头窒息而死吗？ |
| [14:14] | Every witness to every murder | 每场谋杀案的目击者一开始都在医院 |
| [14:15] | who happens to be in the hospital, for starters! | |
| [14:17] | I’m gonna go get a mop. | 我去拿个拖把 |
| [14:19] | Try not to mess anything else up. ** | 别再添乱了 |
| [14:21] | [ Sighs ] | |
| [14:28] | Hi! I’m looking for a bed. | 你好 我来买床 |
| [14:29] | I work a graveyard shift and sleep all day, | 我在墓地上班 |
| [14:31] | and my futon from college sucks. [ Chuckles ] | 整个白天都在睡觉 而且我学校的被子太差劲了 |
| [14:34] | Graveyard, sleep all day, sucks? | 墓地 整个白天都在睡觉 该死 |
| [14:37] | You’re a vampire! I didn’t invite you in! | 你是个吸血鬼 我没邀请你进来 |
| [14:39] | Spirito | spirito santi! |
| [14:41] | Spirito | spirito santi! |
| [14:42] | Take Eddie! He’s full of blood! | 去咬艾迪吧 他血厚 |
| [14:44] | I’m uncomfortable. So… | 我有点不舒服 |
| [14:46] | ** | 那个… |
| [14:49] | Wait! No! | 等等 不！ |
| [14:53] | [ Sighs ] | |
| [14:54] | Damn it, Trent. This is my job! | 该死 特伦特 这是我的工作 |
| [14:57] | [ Ominous chord strikes ] | |
| [14:58] | [ Shrieks ] | |
| [15:00] | [ Screams ] | |
| [15:03] | [ Indistinct conversations ] | |
| [15:05] | I found six cigar cutters, a maritime compass, | 我找到六个雪茄刀 一个海事指南针 |
| [15:08] | but not a single pacifier. | 就是没有一个奶嘴 |
| [15:09] | [ Maria crying ] Shh! It’s okay. It’s okay. | 没事 |
| [15:10] | I tawt I saw a puddy tat. | 我以为我看到一只胖猫 |
| [15:12] | Are you kidding me? [ Clatters lightly ] | 你逗我呢？ |
| [15:14] | I thought the distraction would be good for her. | 我觉得分散点注意对她有好处 |
| [15:16] | [ Crying continues ] | |
| [15:17] | Okay, for me. | 好吧 对我有好处 |
| [15:18] | [ Groans ] [ Drawer closes ] | |
| [15:19] | Why can’t I find another pacifier | 为什么整个房子 |
| [15:22] | in this entire house? | 就是找不到一个奶嘴？ |
| [15:23] | This is all your fault. | 都怪你 |
| [15:25] | This all started with you sneaking in with Eddie, | 一切都从你对艾迪搞鬼开始 |
| [15:27] | and it ends here with us failing at Maria. | 现在到玛莉亚这遭报应了 |
| [15:29] | You’re the one who outsourced our parenting to my mom. | 你把带孩子的事全推给我妈 |
| [15:32] | Besides, we wouldn’t even be in this mess | 况且要不是你不想过万圣节 |
| [15:34] | if you hadn’t tried to ruin Halloween. | 根本就没那么多事 |
| [15:35] | Well, you’re not helping with the outfits. | 你也没帮上忙啊 |
| [15:37] | Every time she sees you, she thinks | 每次她看见你 |
| [15:39] | you’re a terrifying, new stranger. | 都以为你是个恐怖的怪叔叔 |
| [15:40] | [ Crying continues ] | |
| [15:43] | [ Maria shrieking ] Don’t cry! | 别哭 |
| [15:45] | It’s me — Honey! | 是我 哈妮 |
| [15:47] | [ Deep voice ] I-I-It’s me, an older dentist | 是我 |
| [15:49] | who loves floral shirts and was in the Navy. | 一个曾在海军服役的 喜欢穿花衬衫的老牙医 |
| [15:52] | In my day, you were only allowed to cry | 在我们那会儿 |
| [15:54] | if a bone broke through the skin. | 只有头破血流才能哭 |
| [15:55] | [ Door opens, closes ] Mama loves you! | 妈妈爱你 |
| [15:57] | Mama wore a halter top the day after you were born! | 你出生后的第二天妈妈穿了件吊带衫 |
| [16:00] | What’s going on here? [ Crying continues ] | 怎么回事？ |
| [16:03] | Oh, sweetheart! | 宝贝 过来 |
| [16:05] | It’s okay. Mama’s home. | 没事了 跟妈妈回家 |
| [16:08] | Now, I’ve had a few, | 现在我有点疑问 |
| [16:10] | but did we do a body switch? | 我们身体互换了？ |
| [16:17] | Okay, she’s down for the night. | 好了 她睡觉了 |
| [16:18] | We are so sorry. Louis especially. | 太抱歉了 |
| [16:20] | The clothes were his idea. We’ll get them washed. | 尤其是路易斯 是他想出来要穿你们的衣服的 |
| [16:22] | Maybe Jessica will ask my mother to do it. | 我们会洗好的 搞不好洁西卡会让我妈洗 |
| [16:25] | The pants are dry clean only. | 裤子只能干洗 |
| [16:27] | Whatever’s going on between you two, | 不管你们有什么矛盾 |
| [16:29] | can it go on in your own home? ** | 可以等回自己家再说吗？ |
| [16:34] | This is yours. | 是你的 |
| [16:36] | [ Door opens ] | |
| [16:38] | [ Door closes ] | |
| [16:40] | [ Sighs ] | |
| [16:42] | I know the timing’s not great for this, | 我知道现在时机不对 |
| [16:43] | but I could really use a pee buddy. | 但能不能陪我尿个尿 |
| [16:46] | Storage room is real dark. | 卫生间太黑了 |
| [16:48] | Trent, just go to the cemetery. | 特伦特 去墓地吧 |
| [16:50] | I can’t. Look, the truth is… | 不行啊 这个 |
| [16:53] | [sighs] I’m scared. | 其实吧 我害怕 |
| [16:56] | Yeah, I got that. | 嗯 看出来了 |
| [16:57] | Why do you care so much about selling a mattress? | 你为什么非要那么在意卖床垫？ |
| [17:00] | I just wanted to prove that I could make it in a job | 我只是想证明我能干好一项 |
| [17:02] | that wasn’t handed to me by my dad. | 不是由我爸交给我的工作 |
| [17:06] | [ Sighs ] You know what? | 我跟你说 |
| [17:08] | I’ll buy a mattress from you. | 我要在你这儿买个床垫 |
| [17:09] | Trent, you don’t have to. | -特伦特 没必要 -我想买 |
| [17:11] | I want to. You really sold me on that hot-away foam earlier. | 那个加热垫真的很让我心动 |
| [17:14] | As my body is changing, | 我感到一股暖流从臀底涌上来 |
| [17:16] | there’s a heat radiating from down south. | |
| [17:19] | How much for this bad boy? | 这玩意多少钱？ |
| [17:20] | $4,000. On sale?! | -四千美元 -这还特卖？ |
| [17:23] | But the gently-used twin in the corner is only $75. | 但角落那边那个只卖75 |
| [17:27] | I’ll take it. Thanks. | -我买了 -谢了 |
| [17:30] | I won’t tell the gang you were scared. | 我不会告诉大伙你害怕的 |
| [17:31] | Honestly, the cemetery just sounds cold and boring. | 说实话 去墓地听起来又冷又无聊 |
| [17:34] | And to tell the truth, kind of scary. | 而且吧 有点吓人 |
| [17:36] | Trent, I know! Right, right. | -特伦特 我知道 -好吧 |
| [17:37] | [ Knock on door ] | |
| [17:41] | Trick or treat! | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
| [17:42] | Ugh, Britney? Again? | 布兰妮 又来了？ |
| [17:44] | No, I’m Mary Katherine Gallagher. | 不是哦 |
| [17:47] | [ Inhales deeply ] Superstar! | 我是玛丽凯瑟琳加拉赫 超级巨星 |
| [17:52] | Mulder, this has gone too far. | 穆德 太过了 |
| [17:54] | You’re right. It’s weird. | 没错 太诡异了 |
| [17:55] | The only explanation — she’s a shape-shifter. | 唯一的解释是 她是个变形人 |
| [17:59] | Wake up, Mulder! | 醒醒吧 穆德 |
| [18:01] | Sorry, that was Scully, not me. | 对不起 是史高利干的 不是我 |
| [18:03] | But I am done with your crazy conspiracy theories. | 但我受够了你的疯狂阴谋论了 |
| [18:06] | The truth isn’t out there. | 真相就在外面 |
| [18:07] | It’s right in front of your face! | 在你眼皮子底下 |
| [18:09] | It’s the same girl, and she’s not getting any more candy! | 就是同一个女生 没糖给她了 |
| [18:13] | Scram, Britney. We know it’s you. | 走开 布兰妮 |
| [18:15] | Case closed! | 我们知道是你 不奉陪了 |
| [18:17] | You guys are the worst! | 你们最差劲了 |
| [18:19] | [ Door creaks ] | |
| [18:20] | ** | |
| [18:24] | Ready, girls? | 好了吗 姑娘们？ |
| [18:26] | All: Ready, Mother. | 好了 妈妈 |
| [18:28] | That last house didn’t give me any candy. | 最后一家不给我糖 |
| [18:30] | ** | |
| [18:34] | [ Music stops ] You were right, Scully. | 你说得对 |
| [18:35] | I let myself get carried away. | 史高利 我有点太疯了 |
| [18:37] | Like my sister was carried away by those aliens. | 就像我妹妹为那些外星人疯魔一样 |
| [18:39] | Thanks for keeping me grounded. | 谢谢你把我拉回来 |
| [18:41] | That’s why we’re a good team, Mulder. | 我们是一个很好的团队 |
| [18:43] | [ Music resumes ] | |
| [18:45] | ** | 穆德 |
| [18:49] | [ Music stops ] | |
| [18:52] | ** | 万圣节快乐 |
| [18:56] | We really put our worst godparent foot forward | 我们昨晚真真切切迈出了 |
| [18:58] | last night. | 成为最烂教父母的第一步 |
| [18:59] | Up late. Almost overslept. Gotta get to work! | 我要迟到了 差点睡过头 上班去了 |
| [19:03] | [ Door opens ] Maybe I’m the reason Eddie’s a bad sleeper. | 可能就是我让艾迪睡得那么糟的 |
| [19:06] | I’m lucky Emery broke his whiskey habit. | 我运气够好了 艾默利没染上酒瘾 |
| [19:08] | I’m gonna draw lines on all our liquor bottles | 我要在所有酒瓶上划线 |
| [19:11] | just in case. | 以防万一 |
| [19:12] | Did we just pass Eddie in a tie? | 刚刚过去的艾迪打领带了？ |
| [19:15] | For a minute there, I thought you got a valet. | 有那么一分钟 我还以为你们请了个男仆 |
| [19:17] | [ Door closes ] [ Sighs ] | |
| [19:20] | If you want us to step down as godparents, | 如果你们不想让我们当教父母了 |
| [19:23] | we totally get it. | 我们相当理解 |
| [19:24] | Oh, of course, we don’t want that. | 我们不是要那么做 |
| [19:26] | I mean, yes, we did come home | 我的意思是 |
| [19:27] | to a real diaper show last night, | 对 我们昨晚回家的 |
| [19:30] | but it made us feel better | 确实到处都是尿布 |
| [19:32] | about the hard time we were having. | 但那段艰难的时光 反而让我们好受些了 |
| [19:34] | Really? We thought we’d blown it. | 真的吗？我以为我们搞砸了 |
| [19:35] | No. You two are the best parents we know. | 没有 你们是我们所知道的 最出色的家长了 |
| [19:38] | Honestly, it was a relief to see you having a tough time, too. | 说实话 看到你们也不好过 我就平衡了 |
| [19:42] | So, the fact that we were so bad made you feel better | 意思是看到我们跟你们一样差 |
| [19:44] | -about also being so bad? -Exactly. | 反而让你们好多了？ |
| [19:47] | And as a little thank you, | -没错 -这是一点小小的感谢 |
| [19:49] | I made my upside-down cake | 我做我的翻转蛋糕 |
| [19:51] | you love so much. Ohh. | 你很喜欢的 |
| [19:53] | You guys are amazing godparents. | 你们是超棒的教父母 |
| [19:55] | There’s no one we’d rather have | 我们想不到在我和哈妮过感恩节期间 |
| [19:56] | take care of this little butterball | |
| [19:57] | when Honey and I go to that big Thanksgiving in the sky. | 除了你们还能托付谁照顾这孩子了 |
| [20:00] | -[ Chuckles ] -Oh! | |
| [20:01] | We got to go. | 我们要走了 |
| [20:02] | Maria’s got seashell class in 10 minutes. | 十分钟后玛莉亚有节贝壳课 |
| [20:05] | It’s what you think it is. [ Door opens ] | 就是你们想的那样 |
| [20:10] | [ Door closes ] | |
| [20:12] | No idea what they’re doing. | -搞不懂他们 |
| [20:13] | No idea. [ Chuckles ] | -我也是 |
| [20:15] | But neither did we. | -管它呢 |
| [20:16] | And our kids turned out pretty great. | -我们的孩子成长得很好啊 |
| [20:18] | ‘Cause we always had each other’s back, | 因为有彼此的帮助 |
| [20:20] | even if it was behind each other’s back. | 尽管有时候是帮倒忙 |
| [20:23] | So, should we share everything we’ve done | 那我们是不是应该把 |
| [20:25] | without each other knowing? | 背着对方做过事都摊牌？ |
| [20:28] | Of course not. That would be crazy. | 那不行 |
| [20:29] | Nothing to tell. [ Chuckles ] | 那太变态了 无可奉告 |
| [20:34] | Special delivery for Mommy. | 给妈妈的特别配送 |
| [20:36] | One Evan hug with a side of cheek peck. | 艾文抱抱 脸上亲一口 |
| [20:39] | What was that for? | 怎么啦？ |
| [20:41] | After embodying Agent Dana Scully for a night, | 扮了一晚上戴娜史高利探员后 |
| [20:43] | I have a new respect for women. | 我对女性有了新的敬意 |
| [20:45] | It is not easy for you. | 你们太不容易了 |
| [20:47] | Let me bus these wrappers. | 我来把这些垃圾清走吧 |
| [20:52] | Are you sure you didn’t — I never snuck in. | -你真没对他做过什么？ -我没溜进去过 |
| [20:54] | I swear. You? | -我发誓 |
| [20:56] | Never, not once. | 你呢？ -没有 |
| [20:57] | Huh. We really nailed it with Evan. | 一次都没有 艾文这孩子真是养得好啊 |
| [21:00] | We did. We really did. Mm-hmm. | 养得好啊 真的好啊 |
| [21:03] | [ Door opens ] [ Evan fussing ] | 艾文 |
| [21:05] | ** | |
| [21:09] | Hey, Evan. Can’t sleep? | 嘿 艾文 睡不着吗？ |
| [21:11] | Me neither. | 我也是 |
| [21:13] | I’m not scared, but I thought you might be. | 我才不是害怕 但我觉得你会害怕 |
| [21:15] | Your big bro Eddie is just a night owl. | 你大哥艾迪是个夜猫子 |
| [21:18] | [ Hoots ] | |
| [21:20] | Man, you won’t believe what went down | 天哪 |
| [21:22] | on “Thirtysomething” tonight. | 你都不会相信 今晚《三十而立》发生了什么 |
| [21:24] | The Steadmans have asbestos. | 工头有块防火布啊 |