| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Okay, we’ve got four deliveries. Let’s hit the road, Grandma. | |
| [00:07] | Hey! People paid for that food. | 嘿！这是别人买的 那是送货税 |
| [00:11] | Cattleman’s To-Go doesn’t stand for | 牛仔餐厅外卖不是让 |
| [00:13] | Cattleman’s to-go-out-of-business, okay? | “牛仔餐厅歇业”好吗？ |
| [00:15] | Don’t make me kick you out. | 别让我把你辞退了 你不行 你只有学习执照 你需要驾照 |
| [00:21] | How do you even have a license? | 你怎么会有驾照？ 我的脚还能踩 |
| [00:27] | [ Loud rap music plays ] | |
| [00:29] | [ Music stops ] Hey! | 嘿！ 太剧烈了 我喜欢比较舒服的音乐 |
| [00:36] | [ Chinese opera music plays ] | |
| [00:42] | What is this? Bats mating? | 这是什么？蝙蝠交配？ 国剧 江佩蓉是全世界最棒的歌唱家 |
| [00:50] | A person is making this noise? | 这是人发出的声音？ |
| [00:51] | An angel. | -是天使的声音 |
| [00:53] | I’m changing it back. ** | -我要换回去了 |
| [01:01] | I can slap all day. | 我可以这样拍一整天 |
| [01:05] | [ Sighs ] | |
| [01:07] | — Captions by VITAC — | |
| [01:09] | * Fresh off the boat | 初来乍到 |
| [01:10] | * I’m gettin’ mine everywhere I go * | 所到之处 尽显真我 |
| [01:12] | * If you don’t know, homey, now you know * | 如果你之前没听说过我 那你现在就会认识我 |
| [01:14] | * Fresh off the boat | 初来乍到 |
| [01:16] | * Homey, you don’t know where I come from * | 你不知道我来自何处 |
| [01:18] | * But I know where I’m goin’ | 但我知道我将去往何地 |
| [01:19] | * I’m fresh off the boat | 《初来乍到》 初来乍到 |
| [01:22] | Radio DJ: Next up, it’s what you’ve all been waiting for, | 多多指教 接下来 是你们一直在等待的 |
| [01:25] | 88.7 FM’s “The Lurch” giveaway! | 频道FM88.7的 “危机营救”有奖竞猜 |
| [01:28] | Call in to win the biggest prize of the year! | 快来打电话赢得年度大奖吧！ |
| [01:30] | Jessica: Everybody ready? | 大家准备好了吗？手指还灵活吗？ |
| [01:31] | Fingers nimble? | 大家准备好了吗？手指还灵活吗？ |
| [01:32] | So nimble. I’ve been practicing my dial. | 非常灵活 我一直都在练习拨打电话 |
| [01:35] | One-point-seven seconds flat. | 短短1.7秒 |
| [01:37] | Home phone, Grandma’s phone — | 家庭座机 |
| [01:39] | whose phone is this? | 奶奶的电话 这是谁的电话？ |
| [01:40] | Derek Jeter was hitting on you? | 德里克杰特勾引你？ |
| [01:43] | I know you don’t like men, Nicole, | 我知道你不喜欢男人 妮可 |
| [01:44] | but you could’ve at least gotten a gift bag. | 但是至少你可以拿到礼物阿 |
| [01:46] | -Honey, get off the phone! -Sorry, Jessica! | -哈妮 挂了电话！ -抱歉 洁西卡！ |
| [01:48] | Okay all you radio-heads — haha — | 好了 |
| [01:50] | it’s time to get on those phones! | 所有听众朋友们 是时候接听电话了 |
| [01:52] | Caller 88 wins the big prize, | 第88位来电者 |
| [01:54] | starting now! | 赢得大奖 现在开始 |
| [01:55] | Wait for it… | 等一下 |
| [01:56] | wait for it… | 等一下 |
| [01:57] | go, go, go! [ Rapid beeping ] | 打！快打！ |
| [02:00] | [ Busy signal beeps ] | |
| [02:01] | [ Groans ] Busy signal! Us, too! | -占线 -我们也是 |
| [02:04] | [ Line rings, clicks ] Hello? | 你好？ |
| [02:05] | Congratulations, you’re caller number 88! | 恭喜！你是第88位来电者 |
| [02:07] | [ Laughs ] We won! | 我们赢了！ |
| [02:09] | [ Squeals ] I knew we could do it, | 我就知道我们能做到 |
| [02:11] | we are a well-oiled machine. | 我们就是 |
| [02:13] | Like B2-D2. | 高速运转的机器 就像B2-D2 |
| [02:16] | Now, as our lucky winner, you get to choose | 作为我们的幸运获奖者 |
| [02:17] | your grand prize — a resort getaway for two | 现在由你来选择你的大奖 |
| [02:19] | at Sandturtles… Sounds expensive. | 是要沙龟度假村的两人度假旅行… 听起来很贵 |
| [02:22] | …or the brand-new Office ’98 software bundle! | 还是全新98办公软件安装包！ |
| [02:24] | The entire bundle? Including Access? | 整个软件安装包？包括数据库？ |
| [02:27] | Access to what? | -什么的数据库？ |
| [02:28] | Who cares?! | -管他呢？ |
| [02:29] | So, what’ll it be? | 所以你想要哪个？ |
| [02:30] | Well, obviously the getaway, right? | 嗯 很明显是去度假对吗？ |
| [02:33] | Definitely. | 当然 |
| [02:34] | I could really use a weekend by the pool. | 我可以在泳池里度过整个周末 |
| [02:35] | Lie back, relax, soak up some rays — | 躺下 放松 |
| [02:38] | UV rays, not stingrays. | 享受一些日光浴 不是什么黄貂鱼 |
| [02:39] | I wasn’t confused. | 我没有糊涂 |
| [02:40] | [ Chanting ] Bundle! Bundle! Bundle! | 安装包！安装包！要安装包！ |
| [02:42] | How do we tell the boys? | 我们该怎么和孩子们说？ |
| [02:46] | We’re taking Sandturtles. | 我们要去沙龟度假 |
| [02:47] | Cool beans, the getaway it is! | 哇 这是个好去处！ |
| [02:49] | Nooooooooo! Come on! | -不！ -拜托！ |
| [02:50] | You don’t need a computer. You have your brains. | 你们不需要电脑 你们有大脑 |
| [02:53] | Now, I’m assuming this vacation package | 这个度假套餐应该包括免费泳衣 |
| [02:56] | comes with a free bathing suit. I like the ones | 我喜欢带裙边的泳衣 |
| [02:58] | with the little skirt on them so I can twirl. | 这样我就可以转圈了 |
| [03:00] | Sorry guys, the bundle sounds good, | 不好意思 孩子们 |
| [03:02] | but your mom really needs this. | 安装包很好 但你们的妈妈需要度假 |
| [03:03] | Totally fine, | 完全没问题 |
| [03:05] | I’ll just keep writing my school essays in Paint. | 我继续用绘图器 搞定我的学校作业吧 |
| [03:07] | Oh, that sounds cool. | 听起来好酷 |
| [03:13] | So my birthday party is gonna be epic. | 我的生日宴将会是个传奇 |
| [03:15] | Phase one, laser tag. | 阶段一 激光标签 |
| [03:17] | Phase two, pizza. | 阶段二 |
| [03:18] | The square kind. | 披萨 正方形的 |
| [03:20] | Phase three, an appearance by a special guest. | 阶段三 特殊嘉宾出场 |
| [03:22] | Hint — he went to UMass Amherst. | 提示 他曾去过 马萨诸塞大学阿默斯特分校 |
| [03:25] | [ Whispering ] Trent just sat on my sunglasses. | 特伦特坐了我的墨镜 |
| [03:27] | [ Whispering ] You can’t say anything — he’s a guest. | 你不能说 他是客人 |
| [03:29] | So you’re coming, right, Eddie? Definitely. | 艾迪你会来的 对吧？ |
| [03:31] | I need something to look forward to | 绝对会 我需要有点盼头 |
| [03:32] | after a whole week of driving with Grandma. | 在我和奶奶一起开了整整一周车之后 |
| [03:34] | Why? Grandma is fascinating. | 为什么？奶奶很有趣 |
| [03:36] | Lots of layers to that gal. | 她有很多面 |
| [03:38] | I’d love a day in the car with her. | -我也想和她在车里待一天 |
| [03:39] | Not with the Chinese opera she plays. | -绝对不是和她播放的国剧待在一起 |
| [03:41] | And every time I try to put in my O.G. Best of ’95 mix, | 每次我想播放我的95年 最佳说唱歌曲合集 |
| [03:44] | she slaps me. | 她都会打我的手 |
| [03:45] | Eddie, you’ve been mainlining hardcore rap | 艾迪 |
| [03:48] | since you were 9. | 你从九岁开始 就疯狂热爱硬核说唱 |
| [03:49] | You gotta ease your grandma in with the soft stuff. | 你需要先用舒缓点的说唱 |
| [03:51] | Hmm. | 让你奶奶慢慢接受 |
| [03:52] | Kinda like how my dad eased me into wasabi | 就像我爸爸用辣根让我接受芥末酱 |
| [03:54] | with horseradish. | |
| [03:55] | I just need to find the horseradish of rap. | 我需要去找说唱的辣根 |
| [03:57] | Let’s crack open those Case Logics. | -我们去打开凯思智品的包看看吧 |
| [03:59] | Yeah. | -好的 |
| [04:06] | These aren’t mine. These are Dad’s. | 这不是我的墨镜 |
| [04:08] | [ Inhales sharply ] | |
| [04:09] | ** | 是爸爸的 |
| [04:13] | Why are these sunglasses so small? | 为什么我的墨镜这么小？ |
| [04:16] | [ Sighs ] | |
| [04:17] | Wow. This place is beautiful. | 这个地方太漂亮了 |
| [04:20] | It’s like an Olive Garden and a Tommy Bahama store | 就像橄榄园餐厅和 汤米巴哈马商店 |
| [04:22] | got together and made a resort baby. | 一起生下了这个度假酒店 |
| [04:25] | We earned this. | 我们赚了 |
| [04:28] | Let’s find out how much we earned. | 让我们来看看我们到底有多赚 |
| [04:33] | Hi, how much did you pay for this vacation? | 嗨 请问你们花了多少钱来度假？ |
| [04:35] | Does it start with a four? Five? | 是从4字头的？还是5字头？ |
| [04:37] | [ Inhales sharply ] Six? | 6字头？ |
| [04:38] | It doesn’t really matter how much it costs, | 只要让我们的婚姻步入正轨 |
| [04:40] | as long as it gets our marriage back on track. | 花了多少钱并不重要 |
| [04:42] | What? | 什么？ |
| [04:44] | Sandturtles is a place for troubled couples | 沙龟度假村是专为问题夫妻 |
| [04:46] | to rehabilitate their marriages. | 修复婚姻的地方 |
| [04:48] | See, there’s an entire itinerary planned for this weekend. | 看 |
| [04:53] | Ugh. From 2:00 to 2:30, | 这周末有一个完整的行程表 |
| [04:55] | we’re washing each other’s areolas? | 下午两点到两点半 我们清洗彼此的乳晕？ |
| [04:57] | Auras. | 光晕 |
| [04:58] | The emanation of our souls. | 我们灵魂散发的光晕 |
| [04:59] | Ugh! That is even worse. | 这更糟了 |
| [05:02] | There must be some kind of a mistake. | 听着 肯定出什么差错了 |
| [05:03] | We’re just here for vacation. | 我们只是来度假的 |
| [05:05] | Great, Kelly, now they’re upset. | 很好 凯莉 |
| [05:07] | You’re always oversharing. | 现在他们失望了 你总是说的太多了 |
| [05:08] | Well, you’re too private! | -你总是太自私 |
| [05:09] | Ken: Well, I like to think! | -但我喜欢思考 |
| [05:11] | Well, watching you think is boring! | -但是看你思考实在太无聊了 |
| [05:12] | Oh, really, Kelly? | -认真的吗 凯莉？ |
| [05:13] | No matter what happens, | 不管怎样 |
| [05:15] | I’m not returning the swimsuit. | 我是不会退还这套泳衣的 |
| [05:17] | I already ripped out the liner. | 我的里衬裂开了 |
| [05:19] | ** | 黄路易斯的牛仔牧场牛排屋 |
| [05:22] | I was just thinking. | 我只是在想 |
| [05:23] | Could you imagine if a dog got loose back here? | 如果有条狗在这里发疯会怎样？ |
| [05:26] | Boy, oh, boy. | 天啊 |
| [05:29] | We should go get gas. | 我们该去加油了 半缸油 够多了 |
| [05:32] | Better to be safe than sorry. | 安全第一 |
| [05:33] | Speaking of safe, | 说到安全… |
| [05:36] | I know you didn’t like my rap music before, | 我知道你以前不喜欢我的说唱音乐 |
| [05:37] | but that was because I should’ve eased you in. | 我应该先用一些轻松的 音乐让你适应的 |
| [05:39] | Introducing Will Smith. | 威尔史密斯 |
| [05:42] | He’s the horseradish of rap. | 他是说唱界的“辣根” |
| [05:44] | He never cusses, | 他从不说脏话 |
| [05:45] | and he only raps about soft stuff like aliens, | 他只玩软说唱 |
| [05:48] | summertime, and going to Miami. | 歌词里都是外星人、假日和 去迈阿密之类的 |
| [05:52] | I will allow it. | 我同意 |
| [05:53] | Awesome. | 太好了 |
| [05:54] | And when you’re ready, we’ll go up the rap chain — | 等你准备好了 我们就正式进入说唱圈子 |
| [05:56] | Mase, Puff Daddy, Jay-Z, DMX, until we get to Biggie. | 给你听梅森 吹牛老爹 Jay-Z DMX和声名狼藉大先生的歌 |
| [06:01] | He’s the toughest guy out there. | 他是世界上最硬核的人 |
| [06:02] | He’s kinda who I take after, you know. | 我有点像他 |
| [06:04] | Really? | 真的吗？你不是声名狼藉大先生 |
| [06:05] | You’re not Biggie. You’re Will Smith — | 你是威尔史密斯 |
| [06:08] | soft. | 柔软 |
| [06:09] | [ Cassette clatters ] | |
| [06:11] | ** | 沙龟 |
| [06:14] | [ Breathes deeply ] | |
| [06:19] | Hi. Uh, sorry to interrupt your…deodorant check… | 你好 不好意思打断一下 你的除臭剂检查 |
| [06:24] | but we heard you’re the owner of this resort? | 我们听说你是这个度假村的老板 |
| [06:26] | Yes, I’m Guru Sheela, | 是的 我叫希拉大师 |
| [06:28] | and I was just starting my day with a little self-hug. | 我刚用一个小小的自我拥抱 来开启我的一天 |
| [06:31] | A self-hug sounds nice. | 自我拥抱听起来很棒 |
| [06:33] | That’s how I stand on the train. | 我就是这么站在火车上的 |
| [06:34] | We heard this is a couples’ retreat? | 我们听说这是夫妻情感修复院 |
| [06:36] | And there are classes all weekend? | 并且整个周末都有课程？ |
| [06:38] | We don’t have classes. We have journeys. | 我们不叫课程 |
| [06:41] | Pass. | 我们叫旅行 |
| [06:43] | We’re just gonna go sit by the pool. | 算了 我们要去泳池旁坐着了 |
| [06:44] | So, everyone at Sandturtles is required | 但是来沙龟的每个人都要遵守行程 |
| [06:47] | to follow the itinerary so that we can all bond | 这样我们才能通过 |
| [06:51] | over a shared experience, okay? | 共同的经历联系在一起 好吗？ |
| [06:54] | So you can go through the program or leave. | 你们要么完成项目要么走人 |
| [06:56] | Oh, um… | 我想去游泳 |
| [06:58] | I want to go in the pool and then in the hot tub | 然后泡个热水澡 |
| [07:01] | and back in the pool. | 然后再去游泳 |
| [07:03] | All right, look, Googoo Sheela, is it? | 好吧 听着 咕咕希拉 对吧？ |
| [07:06] | Here’s the deal. | 事情是这样的 |
| [07:07] | Our marriage is great. | 我们的婚姻很好 |
| [07:08] | Louis and I are like a well-oiled machine. | 路易斯和我就像高速运转的机器 |
| [07:11] | We’re not like the other suckers that paid to be here. | 我们不像其他付了钱的笨蛋 |
| [07:13] | I mean, uh, this place is lovely | 我的意思是 这里很漂亮 |
| [07:15] | and you seem very sweet, but — | 你也非常亲切 但是… |
| [07:16] | We don’t need this garbage. | 我们不需要那些垃圾课程 |
| [07:19] | I think you do. | 我觉得你需要 |
| [07:20] | The greater the resistance, the greater the need. | 越是拒绝的人就越是需要 |
| [07:24] | Well, that sounds like some commie bull– Okay, you know what? | 全部都是废… 好吧 |
| [07:27] | We’re — We’re gonna, uh, hit the guava station, | 你猜怎么？ 我们要去一趟番石榴车站 |
| [07:28] | and then we’ll be back. | 然后我们再回来 |
| [07:29] | I have to go say good morning to the sun. | 我要去和太阳说早上好了 |
| [07:31] | Of course you do. | 可不嘛 |
| [07:35] | [ Sighs ] Can you believe that woman? | 那个女人在说什么？ |
| [07:37] | She thinks we need to be here? | 她觉得我们需要上课？ |
| [07:38] | We don’t have any problems! | 我们没有任何问题 |
| [07:39] | Let’s just load up on towels and go. | 我们带上毛巾走吧 |
| [07:42] | No. We’re gonna prove to her that we’re the best couple here. | 不行 我们要向她证明 我们是这里最好的夫妻 |
| [07:44] | We’re gonna stay. And we’re gonna win. | 我们要住下来 我们要赢 |
| [07:47] | I don’t think this is a competition. | 我觉得这不是一场比赛 |
| [07:49] | It is now. | 现在是了 |
| [07:50] | And we are going to win. Okay. | 我们还要赢了这场比赛 好吧 |
| [07:57] | Welcome all to Sandturtles, | 欢迎你们来到沙龟 |
| [08:00] | the preeminent healing place for broken couples. | 婚姻破裂夫妻的绝佳感情治愈地 |
| [08:03] | Together, we are going to find the nexus | 我们同心协力 |
| [08:06] | of all of your problems. | 一起发现你们所有问题的结症 |
| [08:08] | Is there a trophy for the winner? | 获胜者会有奖杯吗？ |
| [08:10] | Well, my hope is that by the end of the retreat, | 我的愿望是在治疗的结尾 |
| [08:12] | you’ll all be winners | 你们都是获胜者 |
| [08:14] | and that the trophy you’ll leave with | 你们的奖杯就是陪你们来的伴侣 |
| [08:15] | is the partner you came with. | |
| [08:17] | You could’ve just said “no.” | 你可以直接说没有 |
| [08:19] | So, here at Sandturtles, you are no longer individuals. | 在沙龟你们不再是一个个体 |
| [08:23] | You are now units, | 你们是一个组合 |
| [08:25] | and as such, I’m going to ask you right now | 所以现在我要求你们 |
| [08:28] | to name those new units. | 给你们的新组合起名字 |
| [08:31] | Let the work begin. | 让我们开始吧 |
| [08:32] | Okay. | 我们叫“这里最好的夫妻”或者 |
| [08:34] | How about “Best Couple Here”? | “胡说八道 |
| [08:36] | Or “No Problem Havers”? | 我们没事”怎么样？ |
| [08:38] | No, those are awesome, | 都挺好 但是… |
| [08:39] | but, you know, I can’t get comfortable. | 我不太舒服 |
| [08:41] | It’s these mats. I know. | 这个垫子好难受 |
| [08:42] | My back is acting up, too. | 我懂 |
| [08:43] | Let me ask for some chairs. | 我的背也很不舒服 |
| [08:45] | Googoo Sheela. | 我们换成两把椅子 咕咕希拉？ |
| [08:47] | I’m hearing you. | 我在听 |
| [08:49] | These mats are hurting our back. | 坐垫子上让我的背好痛 |
| [08:50] | Can we get some chairs? | 我们能要两把椅子吗？ |
| [08:51] | So, here at Sandturtles, | 在沙龟 |
| [08:52] | we prefer you closer to the ground. | 我们希望你们能离地面更近 |
| [08:55] | It’s where human beings are the most vulnerable. | 人类在这里最容易受到伤害 |
| [08:57] | To what? Snakes? | 被什么伤害？蛇吗？ |
| [08:58] | Uh, Jessica was just joking. | 洁西卡只是在开玩笑 |
| [09:00] | We don’t need chairs. [ Chuckles ] | 我们不需要椅子 |
| [09:01] | Thank you so much. | 非常感谢 |
| [09:02] | This retreat has been great so far. | 治疗到现在为止都很棒 |
| [09:04] | Good. Good. | 很好 |
| [09:07] | What was that about? | 很好 你这是在干什么？ |
| [09:09] | None of the other couples asked for chairs. | 其他的夫妻都没有要求换成椅子 |
| [09:10] | You want to win, right? No, I want Mr. Stupid | 你想赢 |
| [09:13] | and his wife, Mrs. Idiot, to win. | 对吗？ 不是 |
| [09:15] | ** | 我希望傻子先生 和他的妻子傻瓜女士赢 |
| [09:19] | Our new name is Starfish. | 我们的新名字叫海星 |
| [09:21] | We both love the ocean, | 我们都很爱大海 |
| [09:23] | and starfishes are just so cool. | 并且海星很酷 |
| [09:25] | Yeah, actually, uh, the plural of “starfish” | 是的 |
| [09:28] | is “starfish,” | 海星的复数形式和原来一样 |
| [09:29] | so, hence our name, Starfish. | 所以我们的名字叫海星 |
| [09:31] | You’re always criticizing me in front of other people. | 你总是当着别人的面批评我 |
| [09:34] | I-I don’t know why I do that. | 我不知道我为什么会这样做 |
| [09:36] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [09:37] | I’ve never heard you say that before. | 我之前从来没听你说过抱歉 |
| [09:40] | Starfish has found their nexus. | 海星找到了他们的结症 |
| [09:44] | Snaps for Starfish. | 为海星组打响指 |
| [09:45] | [ Snapping fingers ] | |
| [09:48] | Great work, you guys. | 干得好 伙计们 |
| [09:53] | Our name is… | 我们的名字叫洁西卡 |
| [09:54] | Jessica. | |
| [09:55] | Uh, we wanted to combine our names, | 我们想把我们的名字组合在一起 |
| [09:57] | but we couldn’t choose “Jouis” for obvious reasons, | 但我们不能叫“洁易斯” 很明显的原因 |
| [10:00] | and “Lessica” just sounds negative. | “路西卡”听起来像恶魔的名字 |
| [10:01] | I did pitch Lewbacca, like… | 我选择了这样的音调 像… |
| [10:04] | [ Imitates Chewbacca ] | |
| [10:07] | …but that was also nixed. | 但这也被否决了 |
| [10:10] | Interesting. | 很有趣 |
| [10:11] | Moving on. | 下一组 |
| [10:12] | Wait, wait! | 等等！等一下！ |
| [10:14] | No “Snaps for Jessica”? | 为什么不为洁西卡组打响指？ |
| [10:15] | Oh, come on, Starfish. | 拜托 |
| [10:16] | I snapped for you. | 海星组 我都为你们打响指了 |
| [10:18] | Can’t force a snap. | 不能逼别人打响指 |
| [10:20] | ** | |
| [10:21] | Can you believe Grandma said I was Will Smith? | 你们敢相信吗？ 奶奶居然说我像威尔史密斯 |
| [10:23] | She called me soft! | 她说我柔软 |
| [10:25] | A lot of great things are soft — | 很多好东西都很柔软 |
| [10:26] | pillows, marshmallows… | 枕头、棉花糖… |
| [10:28] | Gnocchi… | -意大利土豆丸… |
| [10:29] | We could go on all day. | -我们能继续说一整天 |
| [10:30] | I’m sure you could, because you’re soft. | 我相信你们可以 |
| [10:33] | But I’m not! | 因为你们柔软 但我不是 |
| [10:34] | On my first day of school, a kid insulted me, | 我上学的第一天 |
| [10:35] | and I smashed his hand in a microwave. | 一个孩子侮辱我 我用微波炉砸了他的手 |
| [10:37] | I’m hardcore. | 我很硬核 |
| [10:38] | That’s me. That’s who I am. | 那才是我 |
| [10:40] | I don’t see what the big deal is. | 我不明白这有什么大不了的 |
| [10:42] | How would you like it if Grandma called you disorganized? | 如果奶奶说你没有条理 你会怎么想？ |
| [10:45] | [ Gasps ] | |
| [10:46] | Exactly. | 没错就是这样 艾迪 我刚刚听到了“我们的歌” |
| [10:52] | How is that our song? | 怎么会是我们的歌？ 因为是关于我们两个人的 我是小孩 你是“活力王子”威尔史密斯 |
| [10:58] | Grandma, I am not Will Smith. | 奶奶 我不是威尔史密斯 |
| [11:01] | Will Smith is for softies like Evan and Emery. | 艾文和艾默利这样的软蛋 才是威尔史密斯 每次汽油不到半缸你就要着急 |
| [11:06] | It’s better to be safe than s– | 安全第一… 那是大个小子会唱的歌词吗？ |
| [11:08] | [ Gasps ] | |
| [11:09] | Oh, is that one of Biggie’s rap lines? | 或者你根本就不是威尔史密斯 你是卡尔顿 |
| [11:17] | What? But I’m Carlton. | 什么？但我才是卡尔顿 |
| [11:20] | ** | |
| [11:24] | Now, this next exercise is called “Love Sandwich,” | 现在进行我们下一个训练 叫做“爱情三明治” |
| [11:28] | a test of communication. | 一项沟通的测试 |
| [11:31] | Get into positions. | 准备好 |
| [11:32] | Let’s begin. | 开始 |
| [11:33] | Okay, first we need the bread. It’s on the right. | 首先我们需要面包 在右边 |
| [11:34] | Your right or my right? | 好的…你的右边还是我的右边？ |
| [11:36] | We’re facing the same direction, there’s only one right! | 我们面向同一方向 只有一个右边！ |
| [11:38] | Oh, uh… Oh, got it. | -拿到了！ -快把它打开！ |
| [11:40] | Oh, just rip it open. | 什么？把所有面包都浪费了？ |
| [11:41] | And waste all that bread? | 什么？把所有面包都浪费了？ |
| [11:42] | Just do it! | 照我说的做！ |
| [11:43] | Okay, uh, your right hand, | 你右手向左45度 |
| [11:44] | 45 degrees to the left. | 很好 |
| [11:46] | Yep. There’s the jar. Okay, back to center. | 这是果酱 放到中间 很好 |
| [11:48] | Great. Now, left hand, okay, uh, | 现在左手的右边是刀 |
| [11:51] | right below you is the knife. | 好吗？ |
| [11:52] | Okay, be careful. Be careful. Don’t cut yourself. | 小心 要小心 不要划伤自己 |
| [11:54] | Oh, thanks babe. I won’t. | 谢谢 宝贝 我不会受伤的 |
| [11:55] | Wonderful. Great communication. | 太棒了 |
| [11:57] | Snaps for Starfish. | 很好的沟通 为海星组打响手指 |
| [11:59] | [ Snapping fingers ] | |
| [12:00] | Stop snapping! You’re wasting time! | 别打响指了！你在浪费时间 |
| [12:02] | Keep your head in the game. | 继续专注游戏 |
| [12:03] | You know what? Switch. | 算了 |
| [12:04] | Uh… | 我们来交换吧 |
| [12:07] | Jessica: Okay, I have the knife, now where’s the jam? | 好的 我拿到刀了 果酱在哪里？ |
| [12:11] | Where’s the jam, Louis?! | -路易斯 |
| [12:12] | Stop swinging! You’re gonna cut me! | 果酱在哪里？ -别晃刀了！你会伤到我的 |
| [12:14] | We did it! | 我们做到了！ |
| [12:15] | [ Groans ] [ Knife clatters ] | |
| [12:16] | Mmm. | 宝宝 |
| [12:18] | Aww, it tastes just like our honeymoon, babe. Aww. Ugh. | 尝起来就像我们的蜜月一样甜 |
| [12:21] | We just lost because of you. | -都是因为你我们输了比赛 |
| [12:23] | Me? | -因为我？ |
| [12:24] | Yes. If you hadn’t been so busy | 没错 如果不是你忙着 |
| [12:26] | snapping for Starfish, we would’ve won. | 给海星打响指 我们就赢了 |
| [12:28] | It should be us tasting their honeymoon right now. | 现在应该是我们在品尝蜜月 |
| [12:31] | ** | |
| [12:35] | Terry-cloth bathrobes are soft… | 毛巾布浴袍很柔软 |
| [12:37] | Feathers… flower petals… | 羽毛和花瓣 |
| [12:38] | My face after I moisturize. | 我护肤后的脸颊 |
| [12:41] | ** | -很酷的造型 |
| [12:46] | Whoa. Cool outfit, Eddie. | 艾迪 |
| [12:48] | Yeah, looking fly! | -酷毙了！ |
| [12:50] | Oof, as soon as I said that, I knew it wasn’t me. | 我这么说的时候 我就知道这太不像我了 |
| [12:53] | Thanks, boys. Gotta rep hard at Trent’s b-day, ya know? | 谢谢兄弟们 今天是特伦特的生日 我得穿得硬核点 |
| [12:55] | Oh, please. | 拜托了 |
| [12:57] | Grandma, you got to check it. | 奶奶 |
| [12:58] | You don’t understand me at all. | 你得看看 你完全不懂我 |
| [13:00] | Isn’t that a Will Smith song, | 这难道不是威尔史密斯的歌吗？ |
| [13:02] | “Grandparents Just Don’t Understand”? | “祖父母们根本不懂我” |
| [13:05] | For the last time, I am not Will Smith. | 再说最后一次 我不是威尔史密斯 |
| [13:08] | If anyone is soft around here, it’s you. | 如果这里有个人是软蛋 那个人就是你 |
| [13:09] | You read cartoons every day. | 你每天都看动画片 |
| [13:12] | And my mom paints your fingernails. | 我妈妈还要给你涂指甲油 |
| [13:13] | Now let’s go. I don’t want to be late for Trent’s birthday. | 我们现在出发吧 我不想在特伦特的生日会上迟到 |
| [13:16] | I’m not coming. | -我不去 |
| [13:17] | What? But I can’t drive without you. | -什么？但我不能一个人开车上路 |
| [13:19] | I have cartoons to read. | 我要看动画 |
| [13:22] | You know what? Fine. | 行吧 无所谓了 |
| [13:24] | Biggie wouldn’t need his grandmother anyways. | 反正大先生也不需要奶奶 |
| [13:25] | I can drive my damn self. | 我能自己开车 |
| [13:27] | [ Scoffs ] | |
| [13:29] | Um…cotton balls? | 那棉花球呢？ |
| [13:31] | I think the game is over. | 我觉得游戏结束了 |
| [13:34] | I can’t believe we failed another exercise. | 不敢相信 我们居然又输了 |
| [13:38] | We almost had it. | 我们本来能赢的 |
| [13:41] | Okay, now turn to the left. | 现在左转 |
| [13:42] | Take three giant steps. | 迈三大步 |
| [13:48] | Okay, now swim! | 现在游泳 |
| [13:50] | Guru Sheela never said the pool was off limits! | 希拉大师从没说过游泳池是禁区 |
| [13:54] | That was the most direct path. | 那是最近的路线 |
| [13:55] | I don’t know why this keeps happening to us. | 我不知道为什么 这种事一直发生在我们身上 |
| [13:57] | We are obviously the best couple here. | 很明显我们是这里最棒的夫妻 |
| [13:59] | The only reason we’re failing is because Sandturtles is crazy. | 我们失败的唯一原因是沙龟都是疯子 |
| [14:01] | I run a restaurant. I know how to make a sandwich. | 我经营餐厅 我当然会做三明治 |
| [14:03] | And why does everything have to involve blindfolds? | 为什么做什么都要戴上眼罩？ |
| [14:05] | We are both blessed with sight. | 我们都有视力 |
| [14:07] | And “find the nexus of your problems”? | 还要“找到你们问题的原因”？ |
| [14:09] | Uh, Earth to Sheela, there is no nexus, | 去她的希拉 没有原因 |
| [14:11] | we don’t have any problems. You’re just nutty. | 我们没有任何问题 她才是个疯子 |
| [14:13] | All we wanted was a relaxing weekend by the pool. | 我们只想在泳池度过一个轻松的周末 |
| [14:18] | Let’s go find Guru Sheela and talk some sense into her. | 我们去找希拉大师 给她讲点道理 |
| [14:21] | Sounds good. But can you give me like two minutes? | 很好 但是你能给我两分钟吗？ |
| [14:22] | I can’t go outside with wet hair. | 我不能湿着头出去 |
| [14:24] | I’ll achoo. ** | 我会感冒的 |
| [14:29] | Guru Sheela, we need to talk. | 希拉大师 我们需要谈谈 |
| [14:30] | Louis and I don’t need to do | 我和路易斯不需要通过你疯狂的活动 |
| [14:31] | your crazy exercises | |
| [14:33] | to show we’re a good couple. | 来展示我们是对好夫妻 |
| [14:34] | So for the rest of the weekend, | 所以剩下的时间 |
| [14:36] | we’re sitting by the pool, and that is final. | 我们要一直坐在泳池边到最后 |
| [14:38] | I see. | 我明白了 |
| [14:40] | And is this what Jessica wants, | 这就是洁西卡组想要的 |
| [14:41] | or is this what Jessica wants? | 或者这只是洁西卡想要的 |
| [14:43] | Jessica just needs some pool time. | 洁西卡一个人需要泳池时间 |
| [14:45] | Me? | 我？你也想要 |
| [14:47] | You wanted this, too. | |
| [14:48] | You just said in the room, | 你刚刚在房间里说的 |
| [14:50] | “These exercises are all crazy, Guru Sheela is a nutbag!” | “这些活动太疯狂 希拉大师是个疯子” |
| [14:53] | No, no, no. I didn’t use the term “nutbag.” | 不 不 不 我没说“疯子”这个词 |
| [14:54] | You know what? | 你猜怎么样？ |
| [14:55] | We thought we didn’t have any problems, but we do. | 我们以为我们没有问题 |
| [14:58] | It’s you. | 但我们确实有 问题就是你 |
| [14:59] | You’re the nexus. | 你才是原因 |
| [15:00] | -What, me? -Yes, you. | -什么？我？ -没错 是你 |
| [15:02] | You are so busy being the good guy. | 你一直都在做好人 |
| [15:04] | That’s why we lost the sandwich competition. | 所以我们才会输了三明治比赛 |
| [15:07] | Not a competition. | 这不是个比赛 |
| [15:09] | You always make me do the dirty work, | 你总是让我做坏事 |
| [15:10] | and I’m sick of it. | 我受够了 |
| [15:11] | Yes, there it is. | 没错 |
| [15:13] | Snaps for Jessica. | 就是这样 为洁西卡打响手指 |
| [15:23] | Will you please stop snapping?! | 你能不能别打响指了？ |
| [15:24] | I was just celebrating the breakthrough. | 我只是在庆祝你的突破 |
| [15:26] | And if you two want to explore this further, | 如果你们俩想进一步探讨这个问题 |
| [15:29] | I would suggest the penguin hug exercise. | 我推荐你们做企鹅抱训练 |
| [15:31] | Not a chance. | 没门 |
| [15:33] | I think we’re just gonna explore it here, | 我们就在这里探索一下就行了 |
| [15:35] | but it does sound cute. | 不过听起来挺可爱的 |
| [15:36] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [15:38] | There you go again, hanging me out to dry, | 你又开始了 |
| [15:40] | like an Italian woman’s laundry. | 把我晾在一边 像意大利女人洗完的衣服一样 |
| [15:41] | I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to hurt her feelings. | 对不起 我只是不想伤害她的好意 |
| [15:43] | What about me? | 那我呢？ |
| [15:45] | You always make me do the dirty work | 你总是让我干坏事 |
| [15:46] | and then you don’t even back me up. | 但是却不挺我 |
| [15:48] | Like when I asked Guru Sheela for the chairs. | 比如我向希拉大师要椅子的时候 |
| [15:50] | Well, I don’t want to anger someone | 我只是不想惹怒那个有毒药的人 |
| [15:52] | who clearly has access to potions. | |
| [15:54] | It’s not just this retreat. It happens all the time. | 不只是这次的治疗 你总是这样 |
| [15:57] | Like the other day with the boys. | 比如我们和孩子们中奖的那天 |
| [15:58] | We both wanted this vacation and not the bundle, | 我们俩都想要度假 不想要安装包 |
| [16:01] | buthad to be the one to tell them. | 但是我必须做那个告诉孩子们的坏人 |
| [16:03] | But that’s your thing — you tell it like it is. | 但那是你擅长的事情 你能直话直说 |
| [16:05] | I thought you liked doing that. | 我还以为你喜欢那样做 |
| [16:06] | Just ’cause I’m great at it doesn’t mean I enjoy it. | 我擅长做不代表我喜欢做 |
| [16:09] | ** | |
| [16:14] | ** | |
| [16:20] | You think Biggie would stop? | 大先生会停下来吗？ |
| [16:22] | Naw. He would push through, like a G. | 不会 |
| [16:25] | ** | 他会踩满油门冲过去 |
| [16:32] | [ Engine sputters ] | |
| [16:33] | Crap. | 糟了 嘿 你到哪里去了 |
| [16:35] | ** | 特伦特打电话来找你 你错过了惊喜嘉宾 …比尔普尔曼 |
| [16:45] | You were right. I’m soft. | 你说得对 我是个软蛋 |
| [16:47] | I ran out of gas and had to walk home | 车没油了 |
| [16:49] | because I was too scared to hitch a ride. | 我只能步行回家 因为我害怕搭便车 |
| [16:50] | And then I got freaked out because I thought I saw a wolf. | 我好像看到了一只狼 我被吓坏了 |
| [16:53] | Turned out to be a cat. | 结果是只猫 |
| [16:55] | A kitten. | 一只小猫咪 |
| [16:59] | Come, I’ll help you. * Psycho react from a drunk kick * * You better back up before I turn into a nine clip * | 来吧 |
| [17:05] | * Loaded, now the fools in the ground lookin’ moldy * * It’s a gang of us * You know, you know, you know, you know, yeah * | 我帮你 |
| [17:12] | How’d you learn to do all that? | 你是怎么学会这些的？ 我在你这个年纪的时候… …正是第二次世界大战 我为了要生存吃了很多苦… …偷东西、打架、卖假烟给那些蠢兵 |
| [17:25] | What was in them? | 假烟里装的是什么？ 泥土 我告诉你他们很笨 |
| [17:30] | Whoa. How come you didn’t tell me about this before? | 怎么你之前没有告诉我这些事？ |
| [17:32] | [ Sighs ] When you’ve lived a hard life, | 当你曾经历过艰苦的生活 |
| [17:35] | you’d rather not be reminded of it. | 你不想再回忆那些日子 |
| [17:38] | So that’s why you like soft stuff | 这就是你喜欢软萌的东西的原因 |
| [17:40] | like Garfield and Will Smith. | 比如加菲猫和威尔史密斯 |
| [17:42] | I only call you Will Smith because you’re a good kid. | 我叫你威尔史密斯 因为你是个好孩子 |
| [17:45] | And you’re lucky. | 你很幸运 |
| [17:47] | You don’t have to live a hard life unless you want to. | 你不必过苦日子 除非你想 |
| [17:51] | You want to try? | 你想试试吗？ |
| [17:55] | Ugh! | |
| [17:56] | Oh damn, it burns! | 该死 好辣好疼 天啊 你是怎么忍住的？ |
| [17:57] | Holy crap! How do you handle that?! | 该死 好辣好疼 |
| [17:59] | [ Laughs ] [ Coughing ] | |
| [18:01] | ** | 天啊 你是怎么忍住的？ |
| [18:02] | And remember, like actual sand turtles, | 记住 要像真的沙龟一样 |
| [18:05] | you need to keep returning to the resort | 你们需要不断回到度假村 |
| [18:07] | and laying your eggs of love. | 诞下你们爱情的结晶 |
| [18:10] | Now, snaps for everyone. | 现在为所有人打响指 |
| [18:11] | [ Snapping fingers ] | |
| [18:13] | [ Sighs ] | |
| [18:14] | What a miserable weekend. | 多么悲惨的周末 |
| [18:18] | Here comes Starfish. | 海星组来了 |
| [18:20] | Oh, my God, you guys, | 天啊 |
| [18:22] | this has been such an amazing weekend. | 我们度过了多么完美的周末 |
| [18:25] | Right? Hey, we should keep these good times going, huh? | 没错 嘿 我们应该 让美好的时光延续下去 |
| [18:27] | You want to have a drink? | 想去喝一杯吗？ |
| [18:32] | No, I don’t want to. | 不 我不想去 |
| [18:33] | Okay. Uh, are you sure? | 好吧 你还好吗？ |
| [18:36] | Yeah. | 我很好 |
| [18:38] | Oh, I’m so sorry about him. | 很抱歉他那样说 |
| [18:40] | He hates drinks. And he hates good times. | 他讨厌喝酒 他讨厌这些美好时光 |
| [18:43] | If it were up to me, I would totally go. | 如果是我的话 我绝对会去的 |
| [18:45] | Great, just the three of us, then. | 很好 那就我们三个人去吧 |
| [18:47] | Huh? First round of Mai Tais is on Ken, okay? | 第一轮我们喝迈泰鸡尾酒 我请客怎么样？ |
| [18:51] | So, you a fan of the Devil Rays yet? | 你是魔鬼鱼的粉丝对吧？ |
| [18:52] | Nope, I’m out. | 不 我不去 |
| [18:54] | I just remembered — | 我想起来我不能和你们去喝酒 |
| [18:56] | I can’t go get drinks with you because I don’t like you. | 是因为我讨厌你们 |
| [19:00] | Bye. | 慢走 |
| [19:04] | Ugh. | |
| [19:07] | I couldn’t do it. I broke. | -我做不到 |
| [19:08] | I saw. | 我演砸场了 -我看到了 |
| [19:09] | I don’t know how you do it. | 你是怎么做到的？ |
| [19:10] | My cheeks hurt from fake-smiling so hard. | 我都假笑到脸抽筋了 |
| [19:13] | I don’t know how you could be the bad guy. | 我也不知道你是怎么当坏人的 |
| [19:14] | My heart is beating so fast. | 我的心脏跳得太快了 |
| [19:16] | You would’ve gone to the bar with them. | 你会和他们一起去酒吧 |
| [19:17] | Yeah, and I would’ve bought season tickets | 是的 |
| [19:19] | to the Devil Rays. | 我还会买魔鬼鱼的季票 |
| [19:20] | You’re right. | 你是对的 |
| [19:22] | I do like being the bad guy. | 我喜欢当坏人 |
| [19:24] | Yeah, but instead of hanging you out to dry, | 是的 但我不会再把你晾在一边 |
| [19:26] | I could do a better job of supporting you. | 我可以更好地支持你 |
| [19:28] | And maybe once in a while | 也许我也该缓解一下 |
| [19:30] | I could tone down my public thunder. | 在公众场合的怒火 |
| [19:33] | Oh, crap. | 太糟了 |
| [19:35] | She was right. We did need this. | 她是对的 |
| [19:37] | Mm. | 我们确实需要治疗 |
| [19:38] | Penguin hug? | 来个企鹅拥抱？ |
| [19:39] | Yes. ** | 好呀 |
| [19:48] | Action. | 行动 |
| [19:50] | Mom, Dad, you’re home! | 妈妈 爸爸！你们回来啦！ |
| [19:52] | Emery: How was your vacation? | 你们的度假怎么样？ |
| [19:53] | You must be so tired. | 你们一定累了吧 |
| [19:55] | The type of tired where cooking sounds terrible. | 你们肯定累得饿坏了吧 |
| [19:57] | Hey, yeah, great point, Evan. | 说得对 艾文 |
| [20:00] | What do you say we order a pizza? | 我们点个披萨怎么样？ |
| [20:02] | What an idea, Emery! | 好主意 艾默利 |
| [20:03] | Nice try. You’re not getting pizza. | 很好的尝试 但你们不能吃披萨 |
| [20:05] | Both: [ Chanting ] Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! | 披萨！披萨！披萨！披萨！ |
| [20:09] | You heard your mom. No pizza. | 听妈妈的话！不许吃披萨！ |
| [20:14] | [ Exhales sharply ] That was so hard. | |
| [20:15] | Don’t worry. It gets easier. | -这也太难了 -别担心 会变得简单的 |
| [20:17] | Y’know, after two days of guava, pizza did sound good. | 吃了两天的番石榴了 点份披萨是个好主意 |
| [20:19] | We’ll order one after they go to bed. | 等他们睡觉了我们再点份披萨 |
| [20:26] | Okay, Grandma, let’s kick this off Big Willie-style… | 奶奶 一起听威尔史密斯的专辑吧 |
| [20:30] | Hey! What was that for? | 嘿！这是在干什么？ |
| [20:32] | You’re tougher than I thought. You have graduated to Mase. | 你比我想象中的要硬核 |
| [20:38] | * What you know about goin’ out? * * Head west, red Lex * | 你可以听梅森的歌了 |
| [20:41] | * TVs all up in the headrest * I’ll take it. * Try and live it up * Mase is way harder than Will Smith. | 我接受 |
| [20:44] | * Ride true, bigger truck, piece all glittered up * * Stick up kid, what? * * Bad, bad, bad, bad boy * * Yeah * | 梅森比威尔史密斯硬核多了 |
| [20:49] | Delivery tax. * You make me feel so good * | 外卖税 |
| [20:52] | * Bad boy * * You know you make me feel so good * | |
| [20:53] | * You know you make me feel so good * | |
| [20:59] | Radio DJ: Congratulations, you’re caller number 12! | 恭喜！您是第12位来电者！ |
| [21:01] | You’ve won our weekly giveaway — | -你赢得了我们每周的奖品 |
| [21:03] | We don’t want the prize. | -我们不想要那份奖品 |
| [21:04] | Uh, excuse me? | 什么？ |
| [21:05] | You lied to us. | 你撒谎了 |
| [21:07] | We thought we were getting a relaxing resort vacation, | 我们以为我们要舒舒服服地去度假 |
| [21:10] | instead, you made us work on our marriage. | 结果你骗我们去上婚姻修复课 |
| [21:11] | Not cool, bro. Not cool. | 一点都不酷 兄弟 逊透了 |
| [21:13] | I — I’m sorry? | 抱歉 您说什么？ |
| [21:15] | Yeah, you should be. Okay. | 你是该道歉 |
| [21:17] | Well, do you still want the prize you just won, or…? | 好吧 你们还想要奖品吗？或者… |
| [21:20] | What is it? | 奖品是什么？ |
| [21:22] | A package of hand towels! | 一包手巾！ |
| [21:23] | Yes, yes, a hundred percent yes. Now, that’s a prize. | -当然 当然要 百分百要 -这才是奖品 |
| [21:25] | Ooh, party! | 恭喜！ |