时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:00] | [School bell rings, indistinct talking] | 亚伯拉罕林肯中学 |
[00:03] | Excuse me. | 打扰了 |
[00:04] | No, Evan. We still haven’t heard from Yale | 艾文 耶鲁还没有回复 |
[00:06] | on your obscenely early admissions request. | 你那早得离谱的入学请求 |
[00:09] | They’ll come around. | 他们迟早会回复的 |
[00:10] | Actually I’m here because I need to use your phone to call my mom. | 其实我来这儿是为了 借你的电话打给我妈妈 |
[00:13] | Okay, are you sick, have you soiled yourself, | 你病了吗? |
[00:15] | or do you have a note saying that you’ve | 你是拉在裤子上了还是留言说 |
[00:16] | recently experienced the loss of a pet? | 最近丢失了一只宠物? |
[00:18] | I left my recreational reading at home. | 我把我的课外书忘在家了 |
[00:20] | I wanted to finish “The Art of War” | 我想在今天的击剑比赛前 |
[00:21] | before my fencing match today, | 读完《孙子兵法》 |
[00:23] | and I planned to read 8 1/2 pages at lunch. | 所以打算在午餐时间读八页半 |
[00:26] | I’m gonna mark you down for “sick”. | 那就算你病了吧 |
[00:29] | [Buttons beeping] | |
[00:31] | [Phone dialing] | |
[00:32] | – Hello? – Grandma? | -喂? -奶奶? |
[00:33] | I need to talk to Mommy. | 我找妈妈 |
[00:35] | Jessica: You don’t need to get me on the phone. | 你不用给我打电话 |
[00:36] | I’m right here. | 我来了 |
[00:39] | Mommy? Oh, no. | 妈妈?糟了 |
[00:40] | Am I having the dream again? | 我又做梦了吗? |
[00:41] | Pinch yourself. I’m real. | 捏下你自己 我是真的 |
[00:43] | I’m your new principal. | 我是你的新校长 |
[00:46] | That’s not technically or even remotely true. | 千万别信她 |
[00:48] | The PTA wasn’t giving me enough power over the teachers, | 家长教师会给我的权利不如老师大 |
[00:51] | so I’m shadowing Principal Hunter | 所以我只好跟着亨特校长 |
[00:52] | to see if I want to take his job. | 看下我要不要接任他 |
[00:54] | A job like mine at a different school. | 跟我在另一所学校开的玩笑一模一样 |
[00:56] | Sure. | 谁说不是呢 |
[00:57] | Grandma: _ | 把电话挂掉 |
[00:59] | _ | 我把电话号码 给了在咖啡店里的一个人 |
[01:03] | Hairy-chested, like I like them. | 他胸毛旺盛 我挺中意的 |
[01:10] | ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ | 初来乍到 |
[01:11] | ♪ I’m gettin’ mine everywhere I go ♪ | 所到之处 尽显真我 |
[01:12] | ♪ If you don’t know, homey, now you know ♪ | 如果你之前没听说过我 那你现在就会认识我 |
[01:15] | ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ | 初来乍到 |
[01:16] | ♪ Homey, you don’t know where I come from ♪ | 你不知道我来自何处 |
[01:18] | ♪ But I know where I’m goin’ ♪ | 但我知道我将去往何地 |
[01:20] | ♪ I’m fresh off the boat ♪ | 《初来乍到》 初来乍到 多多指教 |
[01:24] | Eddie is going to be taking you to your fencing match | 艾迪会带你去击剑比赛 |
[01:26] | – since I’m busy being principal. – Shadowing the principal. | 我忙着当校长呢 是跟着校长 |
[01:29] | He can bring your war book then. | 他可以把你的兵书拿给你 |
[01:30] | Great, now there’s gonna be a bunch of drawings of boobs in it. | 太好了 他肯定会在里面画满咪咪 |
[01:33] | Let’s get you back to class, kiddo. | 回去上课吧 孩子 |
[01:36] | I take the long way with honor students | 我愿意陪着优生们走远路 |
[01:38] | so they don’t have to walk by the “In School Suspension” kids. | 以免他们碰上那些留校察看的孩子 |
[01:41] | [Groaning] | 本周五 |
[01:44] | [Shudders] | |
[01:45] | I don’t want kids like Evan | 我不希望像艾文这样的孩子 |
[01:46] | getting bad ideas from the “trouble bubble”. | 被别人给带坏了 |
[01:48] | We should just move the trouble bubble to the long way | 我们应该把坏孩子挪到远路那边 |
[01:51] | so we, the smart people, can take the short way. | 这么我们这些聪明人就可以走近路了 |
[01:53] | ‘Kay, there’s no “we”. | 不是“我们” |
[01:54] | It’s called “shadowing” because you stay silently behind me, | 所谓跟着 是你安静地待在我背后 |
[01:58] | not giving opinions. | 不是提供意见 |
[01:59] | Shadows aren’t sentient. | 影子是没有知觉的 |
[02:00] | Peter Pan’s was. | 彼得潘的就有 |
[02:02] | Good boy. | 好样的 |
[02:06] | I’m lending Honey all our throw pillows | 哈妮去休息的时候 |
[02:07] | – while she goes on bed rest. – Great idea. | 我要把我们所有的抱枕都借给她 好主意 |
[02:10] | We all need to be supportive of Honey | 我们都得照顾好哈妮 |
[02:11] | until the human inside her is fully cooked. | 知道她的宝宝降临 |
[02:13] | Bed rest is just a precaution | 卧床休息只是保险起见 |
[02:15] | because baby number two is coming so soon after Maria. | 因为生完玛莉亚后 二胎怀得太快了 |
[02:18] | Doc wants me to lie low | 医生让我平躺 |
[02:19] | since my vaginal walls are structurally compromised… | 因为我的阴道壁有结构性损伤 |
[02:21] | Doctors! | -医生? -深有体会 |
[02:22] | – Been there. – Cool, bye. | -医生? -深有体会 |
[02:23] | These pillows are perfect. | -好了 拜拜 -这些枕头太棒了 |
[02:25] | I know it’s bed rest, but I’m gonna be on the couch. | 虽说是卧床休息 但我想在沙发上 |
[02:28] | Marvin got HBO to help me pass the time. | 马尔文订了家庭影院给我打发时间 |
[02:30] | – [Whistles, chuckles] – Yeah. | |
[02:32] | Have you heard of that new show “The Sopranos”? | 是啊 你听说过那部新剧《黑道家族》吗? |
[02:34] | It’s crazy good. | 拍得超级好 |
[02:36] | Like, you want to punch a wall it’s so good. | 好到让你想砸墙 |
[02:38] | – Oh, I’ve heard great things… – We’re not getting HBO. | 我有听说过 不过… 我们不会订家庭影院的 |
[02:41] | If I want to see Italians being ruthless, | 如果我想看意大利狠人 |
[02:43] | I’ll just watch the boys playing “Super Mario Bros.” | 我可以看孩子们 玩《超级马里奥兄弟》 |
[02:45] | Well, they’re always airing “The Sopranos”. | 好吧 他们会一直播《黑道家族》 |
[02:47] | You should come over and watch it. | 你可以过来一起看 |
[02:48] | Oh, I would love to, but I promised my mother | 我也想去 不过我答应了我妈妈 |
[02:50] | I’d help catch a rat she saw in her apartment. | 帮她抓她房里的老鼠 |
[02:52] | Louis! It’s getting worse. | 路易斯 情况更糟了 |
[02:54] | It took the toy! | 它把玩具偷走了 糖弹 |
[03:00] | [Laughs] | |
[03:02] | Jessica: You are an hour late. | 你们迟到了一个小时! |
[03:04] | We were supposed to watch “Mulan”. | 我们本来要看《花木兰》 |
[03:05] | Yes! It’s about time | 是的! |
[03:07] | Disney made a movie about Asian people. | 迪士尼是该拍一部 关于亚洲人的电影了 |
[03:09] | Freaking mermaids and lions got representation before we did. | 该死的美人鱼和狮子都有代表作了 |
[03:12] | Well, to be fair, | 老实说 |
[03:13] | mermaids and lions were around before we were. | 美人鱼和狮子 的确比我们先存在 |
[03:15] | Well, now the whole schedule is thrown off. | 现在整个安排都被打乱了 |
[03:17] | Evan won his fencing match, so I took him to the arcade to celebrate. | 艾文赢了击剑比赛 所以我带他去游乐场庆祝了 |
[03:21] | I got some nacho cheese on his mask, | 我弄了些玉米片奶酪在他面具里 |
[03:23] | – but I’ll get it out. – Celebrate? | 不过我能把它弄出来 庆祝? |
[03:25] | Evan always wins his matches. | 艾文总是赢 |
[03:26] | He’s undefeated. | 他百战百胜 |
[03:27] | Winning is average for him, | 胜利对他来说是小事一桩 |
[03:29] | and in this family, we don’t celebrate average. | 我们家从不庆祝小事 |
[03:31] | Then why does Dad do a dance | 那为什么老爸每次打开了 |
[03:33] | every time he opens a pickle jar? | 酸黄瓜罐子 都要高兴得跳舞? |
[03:35] | [Sighs] | |
[03:36] | I know you wanted to come right home, | 我的完美宝贝 |
[03:38] | my perfect little boy. | 我相信你是想直接回家的 |
[03:40] | Remember, you don’t have to go along | 你不用顺着你哥哥的那些坏点子 |
[03:42] | with your brother’s bad ideas. | |
[03:44] | Bad ideas? We used his épée to get quarters out of the change machine. | 坏点子? 我们用他的剑从零钱机搞到了两毛五 |
[03:48] | Go watch “Mulan” at your grandma’s. | 去奶奶房间看《花木兰》 |
[03:51] | And tuck your feet under you! I don’t want you coming back | 把脚盘起来看 |
[03:53] | with rat bites on your toes! – [Sighs] – [Door closes] | 我不想你的脚趾被老鼠咬了 |
[03:57] | You should know better than keeping him out all hours. | 你该知道不应该让他一直在外面 |
[03:59] | What’s the big deal? It’s the arcade. | 有什么大不了? |
[04:00] | And it’s 6:00 PM! That’s how it starts! | 只是游乐场 现在也才六点 这开了个坏头 |
[04:03] | It goes arcade, pool hall, drug corner, 7-to-10 in the pen. | 从游乐场开始 到泳池 再到毒品角 最后就是被拘留七到十天 |
[04:07] | 3-to-5 with a good attorney. | 有好律师的话只用三到五天 |
[04:08] | I just don’t want you poisoning pure, sweet Evan | 我不想你的坏习惯带坏了 |
[04:11] | with your screw-up juice. | 单纯可爱的艾文 |
[04:13] | Whatever. I’m gonna go sweep under my bed | 随你怎么说 我要去找找 |
[04:15] | for loose CHEETOS. | 床下有没有掉了的奇多 汉克五金店 |
[04:20] | – All right, that’ll work. – Thanks for helping | 这个能行 |
[04:21] | – with rat supplies, Marvin. – Yeah. | 谢谢你帮忙选灭鼠工具 马尔文 没事 |
[04:23] | Last night, it perched on top of a cabinet | 昨晚 |
[04:25] | – and we got into a staring contest. – [Laughs] | 它爬到了橱柜顶上 我跟它四目相对 |
[04:27] | I think it winked at me. | 我感觉它对我眨了眨眼 |
[04:28] | Well, I had to get good at catching rats in my Navy days. | 我在海军服役时可擅长捕鼠了 |
[04:30] | If Cookie got to them first, it was vermin stew for days. | 如果厨师先抓住 接下来几天就都喝炖汤了 |
[04:33] | And he’d say the tiny bones were quail, but we all knew. | 他非说那些小骨头是鹌鹑的 |
[04:36] | – [Groans] – [Laughs] | 但我们都心知肚明 |
[04:37] | Truth is, I’m terrified of rats. | 事实上 我很怕老鼠 |
[04:39] | But I can’t let my mother see any sign of weakness. | 但我不想让我妈妈看到我的脆弱 |
[04:41] | That woman likes to tease, and her jibes have teeth. | 这个女人喜欢嘲笑人 而且牙尖嘴利 |
[04:44] | Yeah, well, some of the meals Cookie made had teeth, too. | 是啊 那厨师做的饭菜里也会有尖牙 |
[04:46] | [Chuckles] | |
[04:48] | Say, why don’t I help you catch that rat? | 话说我可以帮你抓老鼠啊? |
[04:51] | I’d rather do that than sit and watch any more TV. | 我宁愿抓老鼠也不想再看电视了 |
[04:54] | Marvin, are you seeing this? | 马尔文 你看到没? |
[04:55] | You mean Allen wrenches in the ratchet bin? | 你是说棘轮箱里的六角扳手? |
[04:57] | This place is a damn mess. | 这地方太乱了 |
[04:59] | No, not that. This! We should switch! | 不 我是说我们可以互换 |
[05:01] | You mean I catch the rat, you watch “The Sopranos”? | 我抓老鼠 你看《黑道家族》? |
[05:04] | [Laughs] | |
[05:05] | Genius! Yes! [Laughs] | 好主意 |
[05:07] | Okay. All right. | 好的 |
[05:08] | Wait, why are you putting everything back? | 等等 你干嘛都放回去? |
[05:10] | Well, if I’m gonna do the rat catching, | 如果我来来捕鼠 |
[05:11] | I want it to be a fair fight. | 我要以公平的方式 |
[05:12] | [Basket clatters] | |
[05:14] | I’ll bare-hand this thing. | 让我徒手捕鼠 |
[05:16] | [School bell rings] | 亚伯拉罕林肯中学 红眼病科普日 |
[05:18] | The staff will invite you to after-work drinks, | 员工会邀请你下班后去喝一杯 |
[05:20] | but it’s just a trap to get secrets. | 但那只是为了获取你秘密的诡计 |
[05:23] | I will trick them and drink water and get all their secrets. | 我会只喝水 然后套取他们的秘密 |
[05:26] | So, maybe we up your sessions. | 或许我们得开个会 |
[05:28] | What’s going on here? | 发生什么了? |
[05:30] | Evan was disrupting his classroom. | 艾文扰乱课堂纪律 |
[05:32] | Because the other students are jealous | 肯定是其他学生嫉妒他的学识 |
[05:34] | of his superior knowledge. | |
[05:36] | The boy can’t help that fools covet his intellect. | 这孩子不会因此掩藏他的智慧 |
[05:39] | No, because he made repeated fart noises | 不 杜根女士在讲解 《红色羊齿草的故乡》时 |
[05:41] | during Ms. Duggan’s lecture on “Where the Red Fern Grows”. | 他一直弄出放屁的声音 |
[05:44] | [Fart noise] | |
[05:46] | [Sighs] Where did you get that? | 你从哪儿弄来的? |
[05:48] | I won it at the arcade. Eddie helped me pick it out. | 游乐场赢的 艾迪帮我选的 |
[05:51] | [Scoffs] Eddie, of course. | 又是艾迪 |
[05:52] | Well, you leave me no choice. Evan Huang, | 我不得不决定 |
[05:55] | you are suspended from all extra-curricular activities. | 黄艾文 你被禁止参加所有课外活动 |
[05:57] | But my fencing match tomorrow! | 但我明天就要击剑比赛了! |
[05:59] | He has a perfect record! | 他从没违纪过 |
[06:00] | I’m sorry, but this is the hardest part of the job. | 抱歉 这就是我的工作最难的地方 |
[06:02] | This and breaking up pee fights in the boys’ bathroom. | 以及在男厕所阻止尿尿大战 |
[06:05] | Evan, why would you do this? | 艾文 你为什么要这么做? |
[06:07] | [Fart noise] | |
[06:11] | Sorry. She’s jammed. | 抱歉 这玩意儿卡住了 |
[06:14] | I’ll deal with this at home. | 回家再收拾你 |
[06:16] | You’re grounded! | 你被禁足了 |
[06:18] | – What? – Pickles, anyone? | -什么? -有人要酸黄瓜吗? |
[06:20] | Because the jar… is… open! [Chuckles] | 因为罐子被我打开了! |
[06:23] | [Singsong voice] I opened the jar. | 我打开了罐子 |
[06:25] | The jar is open. | 我打开了罐子 |
[06:26] | I opened the jar, all by myself. | 全靠我自己 |
[06:31] | You can’t ground me! I didn’t do anything wrong! | 你不能禁足我 我没做错事! |
[06:33] | Oh, you didn’t encourage your brother | 你没让你弟弟买个放屁玩具 |
[06:35] | to buy a fart machine and then use it in class? | 还拿去教室用吗? |
[06:37] | What? | 是吗?太酷了! |
[06:38] | That’s awesome! What a little gangster! | 真有出息! |
[06:40] | This is your bad influence. Eh. | 全都怪你! |
[06:42] | I would’ve played that baby over the P.A., | 换成我 我会在喇叭里放 |
[06:43] | but, hey, you gotta start somewhere. | 但你得先找个地方先试试 |
[06:46] | For real. | 讲真的 |
[06:47] | I’m sorry Evan messed up at school, and I’m… | 我很遗憾他在学校乱来 |
[06:49] | I’m sure it’s hard for you, but it’s not my fault. | 你一定不好受 但这不是我的错 |
[06:51] | Disagree. | 我反对 |
[06:53] | From now on, you’re not allowed to be alone with Evan | 现在起 |
[06:55] | without adult supervision. That means me. | 没有大人的监督 你不能跟艾文在一起 |
[06:57] | Pickle Man doesn’t count. | 大人说的是我 不是酸黄瓜那人 |
[06:58] | What?! That’s complete B.S. | 什么?简直胡说八道 |
[07:00] | So he got in trouble. | 他的确惹上了麻烦 |
[07:01] | Evan could use some trouble in his life. | 艾文日后会因此受益的 |
[07:03] | It builds character! | 利于个性发展! |
[07:04] | Character is for cartoons, | 个性是骗小孩的 |
[07:06] | like that wolf who can never catch that tall bird. | 就像那只永远抓不到大鸟的狼 |
[07:09] | Why do you need an anvil? Poison his fruit. | 为什么你需要铁砧?给他水果下毒吧 |
[07:11] | Just stay away from Evan. | 离艾文远一点 |
[07:12] | [Exhales sharply] | |
[07:15] | You know, I saw a wolf fall off a cliff once! | 我看到过一直狼掉下悬崖 |
[07:17] | It was not funny! | 一点都不好笑 |
[07:20] | Just brushing up on my New Jersey geography for “The Sopranos”. | 为了《黑道家族》 我再温习下新泽西的地理 |
[07:24] | Don’t want any turnpike jokes going over my head. | 免得我看不懂里面的段子 |
[07:27] | It must be so easy in there. | 这里面一定很简单 |
[07:29] | Look, I’m worried about Evan, too, | 我也很担心艾文 |
[07:31] | but it all seems pretty harmless. | 不过我觉得无伤大雅 |
[07:33] | It isn’t just today. | 不单单是今天 |
[07:34] | Evan’s 11. | 艾文十一岁了 |
[07:35] | That’s the age Eddie was when we lost him, | 艾迪这么大时 我们开始管不住他了 |
[07:37] | and now Evan is walking down that same dark path. | 现在艾文也在重蹈覆辙 |
[07:40] | [Wind gusts] | |
[07:43] | Evan, your eggs are ready! | 艾文 你的蛋做好了 |
[07:45] | [Hip-hop music plays] | |
[07:48] | Moms, check it. Fresh as hell, right? | 老妈 看看 酷吧? |
[07:50] | Mom, check it. Fresh as hell, right? | 老妈 |
[07:52] | [Music slows] | |
[07:54] | [Dramatic music plays] | |
[07:56] | ♪♪ | 你看 酷吧? |
[08:01] | I can’t let that happen. | 我不能坐视不管 |
[08:04] | Tomorrow, I’m gonna nip this in the bud. | 明天我要把这扼杀在萌芽阶段 |
[08:05] | You know, I never understood that expression. | 我一直搞不懂这个比喻 |
[08:08] | Buds turn into flowers. | 萌芽最终会开花 |
[08:09] | So why do we say it about bad things? | 为什么我们要比喻坏事? |
[08:11] | Are you doing stand-up again? | 你又开始做脱口秀了吗? |
[08:12] | I told you, you’re too old for that. | 告诉过你了 |
[08:14] | ♪ | 你太老了不适合这个 |
[08:18] | My understanding from Dr. Cusamano, | “我从你的家庭医生 |
[08:21] | your family physician, is that you collapsed… | 库萨马诺博士那里了解到” “你崩溃了” |
[08:24] | I think we got the better end of this deal. | 我觉得这笔交易是双赢的 |
[08:26] | – [Chuckles] – We get to watch this incredible show | 我们可以看剧 |
[08:28] | – while those two catch a rat. – [Both laugh] | 他们两捕鼠 |
[08:30] | I can’t imagine what they’re even talking about. | 很难想象他们在聊什么 |
[08:32] | Well, my mom’s probably making fun of someone. | 说不定我妈在取笑别人呢 |
[08:35] | We’re still hearing about the day Emery came home wearing a kilt. | 她现在还在说那次艾默利 穿着短裙回家的事 |
[08:37] | [Chuckles] Well, and Marvin’s probably gossiping. | 可能马尔文在八卦 |
[08:40] | I can’t hear any more about Carol-Joan’s fake front teeth. | 我都听烦了凯萝-琼的假门牙了 |
[08:43] | Some poor fool is being raked over the coals by those two. | 一些可怜虫正在被那两人嘲笑呢 |
[08:46] | [Both chuckle, door opens] | |
[08:47] | It turns out bare-handing the rat catching was a bad idea. | 徒手捕鼠真不是个好主意 |
[08:50] | – [Drawer opens] – Papa needs his work gloves. | 我需要我的手套 |
[08:52] | Hey, if you run out of things to talk about with my mom, | 嘿 如果你跟我妈没话聊了 |
[08:54] | get her started on how much she hates denim. | 问问她有多讨厌牛仔服 |
[08:56] | Oh, we won’t run out of things to talk about, Dice man. | 我们话题多着呢 黛斯男 |
[09:00] | [Door opens, closes] | |
[09:02] | Did he just called you “Dice man”? | 他叫你“黛斯男”? |
[09:04] | Um, no, I don’t think so. | 不 没有吧 |
[09:06] | I’m pretty sure he did. | 我很确定 |
[09:08] | No, I think he was talking to you. | 我觉得他在跟你讲 |
[09:11] | Marvin will just tell you tonight anyway, so… | 反正马尔文今晚也会告诉你 其实… |
[09:14] | I’m Dice man. | 我是黛斯男 |
[09:15] | Back in the ’80s, I loved Andrew Dice Clay, | 八十年代时 我迷恋上了 安德鲁黛斯克雷 |
[09:18] | and I would lip-sync along to his albums | 我会把他所有的专辑唱给愿意听的人 |
[09:20] | to whoever would watch, | |
[09:21] | which was mostly just my mother. | 基本上就是妈 |
[09:23] | [Crowd cheers] | |
[09:26] | Clay: Jack and Jill went up the hill, | 杰克和吉尔爬上山 |
[09:28] | both with a buck and a quarter. | 都带着一块二毛五 |
[09:30] | Jill came down with $2.50. | 吉尔下山带着两块五 |
[09:33] | – Oh! – [Cheers and applause] | |
[09:35] | – [As Andrew Dice Clay] Oh! – Mm-hmm. | |
[09:37] | And who knows what other embarrassing stories they’re telling. | 谁知道他们还会说我什么丢人的故事 |
[09:40] | There was the Weedwacker incident, | 有除草机事故 |
[09:42] | the Shetland pony, | 设得兰小马 |
[09:44] | my one-man show. | 我的单人演出 |
[09:45] | [Sighs] | |
[09:46] | My two-man show. | 双人演出 |
[09:47] | Who was the other man? | 另一个是谁? |
[09:49] | It was me in a mirror. | 镜子里的我 |
[09:50] | “Two Lous”. [Sighs] | 《两个阿路》 |
[09:53] | I can’t believe I put my mother and my best friend together | 不敢相信 我居然在没有 监护人的情况下 |
[09:55] | with no chaperone. | 把我妈妈跟我的好朋友放在一起 |
[09:57] | We should never have encouraged her to learn English. | 我不该让她学英语 |
[09:59] | Well, look, maybe you should just | 或许你该过去跟他们聊一聊 |
[10:00] | go over there and talk to them. | |
[10:02] | Well, then they’ll talk about how I’m | 那他们就会说我就是走过去的那个人 |
[10:03] | “the guy who goes over there”. | |
[10:05] | Tony Soprano would know what to do. | 托尼瑟普拉诺知道该怎么做 |
[10:10] | Son, I’m going to need you to wear a wire. | 儿子 我需要你戴个装备 |
[10:13] | [School bell rings] | 亚伯拉罕林肯中学 |
[10:15] | I have to say, | 不得不说 |
[10:17] | shadowing you has been very educational. | 跟着你受益匪浅 |
[10:20] | Do all principals get laughed at by students as much as you do? | 所有校长都跟你一样被大家嘲笑吗? |
[10:24] | No, ma’am. | 不是的 亨特校长 |
[10:28] | You. | 是你! |
[10:29] | You can’t touch me now, old man. | 你动不了我 老头 |
[10:31] | I’m out of your jurisdiction. | 我不归你管 |
[10:33] | I can’t touch any of the students outside of high-fives. | 除了击掌我不能碰任何学生 |
[10:35] | And even then, I have to ask first. | 就这样我还得先问一下 |
[10:38] | – Most kids say no. – Hmm. | 大多数会拒绝 |
[10:40] | You can high-five me. | 你可以跟我击掌 |
[10:42] | – Psych! [Laughs] – Eddie, get to the point. | 被我耍了! 艾迪 说重点 |
[10:44] | [Principal Hunter and Eddie sigh] | |
[10:46] | The fart machine incident was my fault. | 那个打屁玩具都怪我 |
[10:48] | Evan is blameless. | 艾文是无辜的 |
[10:50] | I put him up to it, for I am a bad influence. | 是我把他带坏了 |
[10:52] | Therefore, I should receive the punishment, not he. | 因此 我应该挨罚 不是他 |
[10:56] | That was better in the car. | 没你在车上说得好 |
[10:57] | But you see, Principal Hunter, Evan is innocent. | 你看 亨特校长 艾文是无辜的 |
[11:01] | Of course Eddie is at the bottom of this! | 艾迪当然脱不了干系 |
[11:03] | The kid who put roast beef in all of my file folders. | 他把烤牛肉都倒在我的文件袋里 |
[11:06] | You remembered! | 你还记得? |
[11:07] | So, can we clear Evan’s record | 我们能取消艾文的记录 |
[11:09] | so he can participate in the fencing match today? | 并让他参加击剑比赛了吗? |
[11:11] | Yes. | 可以 |
[11:13] | The last thing I want is a blemish | 我最不希望看到 |
[11:14] | on an honor student’s transcripts. | 优生的成绩单上有污点 |
[11:16] | Come on, Eddie, let’s go tell Evan the good news. | 走吧 艾迪 去告诉艾文这个好消息 |
[11:18] | So, am I ungrounded? | 那我的禁足令取消了吗? |
[11:20] | Yes, but you’re on a short leash… | 是的 不过我会看紧你的 |
[11:22] | One of those retractable ones | 虽然你会感觉无拘无束 |
[11:23] | where you think you’re not on a leash, but then you are. | 但我会随时监督你的 |
[11:27] | – [Tape stretching] – [Sighs] | |
[11:28] | Do we really need this tape recorder? | 这个录音机真的有必要吗? |
[11:30] | Can’t I just tell you what Grandma and Marvin are saying about you? | 我能直接告诉你 马尔文跟奶奶是怎么说你的吗? |
[11:33] | What? Son, no. | 什么?不行 儿子 |
[11:34] | We need hard proof. Otherwise, they’ll just deny it. | 我们需要证据 不然他们不认账 |
[11:36] | [Exaggerated Italian accent] The way “Christophuh” | 就像“克里斯多福”否认了 |
[11:38] | denied shooting the cannoli guy’s foot off. | 他开枪把吃煎饼卷那家伙脚打断一样 |
[11:40] | – Great scene. – It’s the writing. | 太有画面感了 |
[11:42] | Fine. You’re just lucky you caught me | -书里写的 -好吧 |
[11:44] | on my chest-shaving day! | 你运气不错 今天我刚刮了胸毛 |
[11:45] | My front is as smooth as glass. | 我的前胸跟玻璃一样丝滑 |
[11:50] | Perfect. | 太好了 |
[11:51] | Come on, little buddy. | 过来吧 小家伙 |
[11:53] | Come to Papa. | 来爸爸这里 |
[11:55] | [Stiffly] Yo. | 嗨 |
[11:57] | How’s it going in here? | 怎么样了? |
[11:59] | Dad sent me to help with the rat. | 爸爸让我来帮忙捕鼠 |
[12:03] | So, what are you guys talking about? | 你们在聊些什么? |
[12:07] | – Oh, wait. – [Button clicks] | 等等 |
[12:10] | So, whatcha guys talking about? | 你们在聊些什么? |
[12:14] | You! They were talking about you. | 是你!他们在聊你! |
[12:17] | You were right. I recorded the whole thing. | 你是对的 我都录下来了 |
[12:18] | I knew it! | 我就知道! |
[12:20] | [Exhales sharply] | |
[12:21] | Let’s go shake down those Chatty Cathies. | 我们去跟那些八卦精们对峙 |
[12:25] | [School bell rings] | 食堂 |
[12:26] | Ah, middle school. | 回忆里的中学啊 |
[12:28] | Right over there is where I gave Brian | 我就是在这儿给布赖恩 |
[12:29] | the biggest wedgie of his life. | 来了个他有生之年最猛的抓内裤 |
[12:31] | God, we were so young. | 我们当时好年轻啊 |
[12:33] | Hey, Evan. | 嘿 艾文 |
[12:35] | What are you doing here? | 你们怎么在这儿? |
[12:36] | [Singsong voice] Good news. | 好消息 |
[12:38] | You get to play in your fencing match this afternoon. | 你下午可以参加击剑比赛了 |
[12:40] | – What?! – I took the hit for you, bro. | 什么? 我帮你背锅了 小兄弟 |
[12:43] | So next time Mom tells me to take a shower | 所以下次妈妈叫我洗澡 |
[12:44] | and I don’t feel like it, you’re hopping in there. | 我又不想洗的时候 你替我洗 |
[12:50] | I-I can’t fight today. | 我…我今天不能参加比赛 |
[12:54] | – What are you talking about? – Don’t worry, | 你说什么? |
[12:55] | I got the cheese smell out of your helmet. | 别担心 我把头盔的臭味都清理好了 |
[12:57] | – You’re good to go. – No! | -你放心去吧 -不是的 |
[12:59] | Look. | 是这样 |
[13:01] | I got myself suspended from fencing on purpose | 我故意让自己不能去击剑 |
[13:04] | so I wouldn’t have to fight today’s match. | 我就不用参加今天的比赛了 |
[13:06] | I knew exactly what I was doing with that flatulence emulator. | 我很清楚我用放屁玩具做了些什么 |
[13:09] | What? W-W-Why would you do that? | 什么?你为什么要这么做? |
[13:11] | [Sighs] | |
[13:12] | She’s why. | 因为她 |
[13:16] | You don’t want to fight a girl? | 你不想跟女孩比赛? |
[13:18] | No, I don’t want you to see me lose. | 不 我不想你看到我输 |
[13:20] | I can’t beat Carla. | 我打不过卡拉 |
[13:21] | She’ll ruin my perfect record, and I can’t not be perfect! | 她会毁了我的完美记录 但我不能不是完美的 |
[13:25] | Sorry, Mom… about the double negative. | 对不起 |
[13:30] | Whoa! | 妈妈 我用了双重否定 |
[13:32] | I’m not the bad influence on Evan. | 不是我影响了艾文 是你! |
[13:40] | Evan, you come out here right now | 艾文 |
[13:41] | – and fight this girl! – Mom, I don’t think | 你马上出来 去跟那女孩打 |
[13:43] | this is how a principal is supposed to behave. | 妈妈 我觉得校长不会这么做 |
[13:45] | Shadow principal! | 我只是影子校长 |
[13:47] | A shadow principal who puts too much pressure on her son | 让孩子压力巨大的影子校长 |
[13:49] | and now he’s terrified to lose. | 他现在都害怕失败了 |
[13:51] | I only want him to be the absolute best | 我是想让他在所有事上都拔尖 |
[13:53] | at everything he does all the time. Is that so wrong? | |
[13:55] | Yes! | -有错吗? -当然! |
[13:56] | Evan needs to learn to chill, | 艾文需要学会冷静 |
[13:57] | or he won’t be able to roll with the punches | 否则遇到不顺时 |
[13:59] | when things don’t go perfect for him. | 他无法面对 |
[14:01] | “Chilling” is just giving yourself permission to fail. | “冷静”是让你可以失败的借口 |
[14:03] | That might be your technique, but it’s not mine. | 对你可能适用 但不是我的方法 |
[14:05] | Well, your method just sent Evan running into the boys’ locker room. | 你的方法让艾文把自己锁在更衣室了 |
[14:08] | He hates that place. | 他讨厌那地方 |
[14:09] | – He usually changes in the car. – I need to go talk to him. | 他都是在车上换衣服 我需要跟他谈一谈 |
[14:12] | Well, this is the boys’ locker room, and you’re not a boy. | 但这是男更衣室 你不是男生 |
[14:15] | Or am I? | 假如我是呢? |
[14:17] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛? |
[14:19] | I’m cutting off my beautiful hair so I can pass for a boy. | 我把秀发剪短就可以装成男生了 |
[14:23] | Why isn’t this sword sharp? | 这剑怎么不够锋利? |
[14:25] | – Let me handle this. – [Epée clatters] | 让我来吧 |
[14:29] | Chii. Chii-chii-chii-chii. | |
[14:31] | Chii-chii. | |
[14:33] | I’m replicating the rat’s mating call. | 我在学老鼠求偶的叫声 |
[14:35] | Chii-chii-chii-chii. | |
[14:37] | Well, don’t do it too good, | 别做太像了 |
[14:38] | or they’ll be all over you like bears on honey. | 不然他们都来你这儿 |
[14:40] | [Both laugh] Aha! | 就像熊看到蜂蜜一样 |
[14:42] | – Caught in the act! – What are you talking about? | 抓个现行 你在说什么? |
[14:44] | You’ve been in here gossiping behind my back | 你们一直在我背后说闲话 |
[14:46] | like a couple of biddies folding laundry. | 就像一对在叠衣服的长舌妇一样 |
[14:48] | Emery recorded the whole thing. | 艾默利都录下来了 |
[14:50] | – Narc. – No, don’t change the subject. | -叛徒 -别转移话题 |
[14:52] | This is about you two betraying me. | 你们俩背叛了我 |
[14:54] | I have proof. Listen. | 我有证据 听听 |
[14:55] | [Breathing heavily] | |
[15:00] | Emery, why are you breathing so hard? I can’t hear anything. | 艾默利 你怎么呼吸这么重? 我都听不到了 |
[15:03] | It was my first time undercover. I was nervous. | 第一次当卧底 |
[15:04] | [Laughs] I didn’t know Dad did that. | 太紧张了 我还不知道老爸做过这些 |
[15:07] | That’s hilarious, Grandma. | 太好笑了 奶奶 |
[15:08] | Emery, you too? | 艾默利 你也笑我? |
[15:10] | It was really funny. | 确实很好笑 |
[15:11] | Your two-man show sounded great. | 你的双人表演太棒了 |
[15:13] | “Two Lous”? Who wouldn’t want to watch that? | 两个阿路?谁不想看看啊? |
[15:15] | The Washington Post, for one. | 《华盛顿邮报》就不想 |
[15:17] | “Two Louis Huangs is two too many.” | “两个阿路实在太多了” |
[15:20] | Come on, Emery. Let’s go. | 走吧 艾默利 |
[15:25] | [Sighs heavily] | |
[15:28] | You’re really not gonna fight this fight? | 你真的不想比赛了? |
[15:30] | No, because if I lose, which I will, | 不想 如果我输了 我也会输 |
[15:33] | Mom will be crushed. | 妈妈会很伤心的 |
[15:34] | That’s not gonna happen. | 不会的 |
[15:35] | Really? | 是吗?你觉得我有可能赢卡拉? |
[15:36] | You think I have a chance to beat Carla? | |
[15:38] | Oh, no, she’ll destroy you. | 不 她会毁了你 |
[15:39] | You’ll probably cry. | 你可能会哭 |
[15:40] | But Mom will be fine. | 但妈妈不会 |
[15:42] | She loves you no matter what. | 无论发生什么她都爱你 |
[15:44] | In fact, she’s out there right now | 其实她正在外面锯头发 |
[15:46] | trying to saw her hair off so she can come in and talk to you. | 这样她就能进来跟你谈 |
[15:48] | Like Mulan. | 像木兰一样 |
[15:49] | Yeah, like Mulan. Exactly. | 没错 像木兰一样 |
[15:52] | You love that movie, right? | 你也喜欢那部电影? |
[15:53] | Other than the dragon being named Mushu | 嗯 |
[15:55] | and fireworks saving the day, sure. | 除了那条叫木须的龙 以及拯救世界的烟火 |
[15:57] | Yes, it’s not perfect, | 没错 |
[15:59] | but it’s more about female empowerment anyway. | 它不完美 但它是关于女性赋权的 |
[16:02] | Mulan’s a badass. | 木兰是个狠角色 |
[16:03] | She made me feel things. | 她让我感触良多 |
[16:05] | We’ll get to that later. | 一会再谈这个 |
[16:06] | The point is, | 关键是 |
[16:08] | nobody wanted Mulan to go to war because she’s a girl. | 就因为她是个女孩 大家都不愿她去从军 |
[16:10] | Even though she’s an amazing soldier. | 即便她是个优秀的士兵 |
[16:12] | If you refuse to fight Carla, | 如果你拒绝跟卡拉比赛 |
[16:14] | you’re robbing her of that chance to be Mulan. | 你就剥夺了她成为木兰的机会 |
[16:16] | [Gasps] | |
[16:17] | I never thought of it that way. | 我没这么想过 |
[16:19] | I’m the patriarchy! | 这太父权制了 |
[16:21] | Yeah, you’re the… that. | 没错 你就是…那什么制 |
[16:23] | Thanks, Eddie. | 谢谢 艾迪 |
[16:24] | Now I need to go out there and give it my best shot, | 我现在要去放手一搏了 |
[16:27] | even if I get my patootie kicked. | 即便会被那位女士教训 |
[16:29] | Apologies for the locker-room talk. | 抱歉在更衣室聊这些 |
[16:31] | Boys will be boys. | 不愧是兄弟 |
[16:35] | [“Woke Up This Morning (Chosen One)” plays] | |
[16:37] | ♪ Woke up this morning ♪ | |
[16:39] | ♪ Got yourself a gun ♪ | |
[16:41] | I’m like Tony. | 我像托尼一样 |
[16:42] | Can’t trust nobody. | 无法信任任何人 |
[16:44] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[16:45] | I would really love to hear all about it | 等《牛人阿利斯》开演的时候 |
[16:47] | when “Arli$$” comes on. | 再好好跟我说下 |
[16:48] | [Door opens] | |
[16:50] | We caught the rat! | 抓到了! |
[16:52] | [Laughs] | |
[16:53] | I count three rats. | 我看到三只 |
[16:54] | The one in the bag and the two of you. | 一只在袋子里 另两只是你们 |
[16:56] | To be clear, I’m calling you rats. | 说清楚点 你们两是叛徒 |
[16:58] | [Sighs] | |
[16:59] | Louis, let us explain. | 路易斯 我们可以解释 |
[17:01] | We were talking about you. | 我们确实在聊你 |
[17:03] | Sharing our favorite Louis stories | 分享我们最爱的路易斯往事 |
[17:05] | because the love of you is the only thing we have in common. | 因为对你的爱 是我们两唯一共同点 |
[17:07] | _ | 在谈到你之前 |
[17:09] | _ | 都是一些在船上无趣的谈话 |
[17:13] | Lip-syncing Dice is genius! | 跟唱黛斯太赞了! |
[17:15] | I’m gonna try it with Don Rickles. | 我要试试学唐里柯斯 |
[17:17] | Please don’t. | 千万别 |
[17:18] | _ | 我最好的故事都是关于你的 |
[17:21] | _ | 你在我一生是最重要的一部分 |
[17:24] | [Chuckles] Aww, Mom. | 妈 |
[17:26] | I guess I got a little paranoid about family | 我想家人背地里聊我让我有些多疑 |
[17:28] | talking behind my back. | |
[17:30] | Watching “The Sopranos” didn’t help. | 看《黑道家族》也缓解不了 |
[17:32] | I was only laughing at that “Two Lous” story | 只有《两个阿路》的故事让我发笑 |
[17:33] | because it sounded hilarious. | 实在太搞笑了 |
[17:35] | Well, it was a searing drama, but that means a lot. | 那是一部爱恨交织的剧 |
[17:38] | Um, | 不过这很有意义 |
[17:39] | could you two just hug and shut up, please? | 你们能抱一抱然后闭嘴了吗 拜托? |
[17:42] | – [Chuckles] Yeah. | – [Chuckles] 当然 |
[17:44] | [Stammers] What the hell… bring it to the front. | -怎么回事?面对面吧 |
[17:46] | All right. [Both laugh] | -好呀 |
[17:48] | I let the rat out. | 我把老鼠放了 |
[17:49] | W-Why? | 为什么? |
[17:51] | Because I wanted to look at him. | 因为我想看看他 食堂 |
[17:56] | [Shudders] | |
[18:01] | I’m ready to fight the match. | 我准备好比赛了 |
[18:03] | Oh. Maybe you can be a good influence. | 或许你可以当个榜样 |
[18:06] | I have my moments. Don’t count on me! | 我有我的高光时刻 但别指望 |
[18:08] | I’m sorry I used a fart machine to get out of fencing. | 对不起 我用放屁玩具来逃避 |
[18:10] | It’s okay. | 没关系 |
[18:11] | I’m proud of you for going through with the match. | 我很骄傲你能克服自己参加比赛 |
[18:14] | Even if I lose? | 即便我输掉比赛? |
[18:17] | Even if you lose. | 即便输掉比赛 |
[18:21] | [Fart noise] | |
[18:23] | Still works! | 还能用 |
[18:24] | Come on, Evan! Stab her! | 加油 艾文!刺她! |
[18:26] | Stab her in the heart! | 刺她脑袋! |
[18:28] | Popcorn? | 要爆米花吗? |
[18:30] | Why are you being nice to me? | 你怎么对我这么好? |
[18:32] | After spending the week with your mother, | 跟你妈妈相处一周后 |
[18:35] | I get it. | 我明白了 |
[18:36] | Yesterday, when I got home, I said awful things to my cat. | 昨天我回家后 我对我的猫破口大骂 |
[18:39] | Unforgivable. | 不可原谅 |
[18:42] | You get used to her. | 你会习惯她的 |
[18:43] | [Sighs] ♪ Let’s get down to business ♪ | 让我们开干吧 |
[18:46] | – ♪ To defeat ♪ – Referee: Salute. | 敬礼 |
[18:48] | ♪ The Huns ♪ | 打败敌人 |
[18:51] | ♪ Did they send me daughters ♪ | 当我要要回我儿子时 |
[18:55] | ♪ When I asked for sons? ♪ | 他们是否把女儿还给我? |
[18:57] | – Fence. – ♪ Be a man ♪ | 举剑 勇敢一点 |
[18:59] | ♪ We must be swift as a coursing river ♪ | 你得像流淌的河流一样敏捷 |
[19:02] | – ♪ Be a man ♪ – [Device beeps] | 勇敢一点 |
[19:04] | ♪ With all the force ♪ | 带着像台风一样的力量 |
[19:05] | – ♪ Of a great typhoon ♪ – [Beeping] | |
[19:06] | – ♪ Be a man ♪ – [Beeping continues] | 勇敢一点 |
[19:08] | Match. | 结束 |
[19:09] | [Murmuring] | |
[19:15] | – Good match. | – Good match. -打得不错 -打得不错 |
[19:17] | Wonderful use of parry. | 招架很不错 |
[19:18] | You’ll get me next time. | -你下次会赢的 |
[19:19] | – I don’t know… – You won’t. | -我不确定 |
[19:21] | I was just being nice. | 你不会的 我只是表示友好 |
[19:24] | [Sighs] | |
[19:29] | Gotta hand it to you, Evan… you didn’t cry. | 真得夸夸你 艾文 你没哭 |
[19:31] | That’s what the mask is for. | 所以才需要面罩 |
[19:33] | What are you two waiting for? | 你们还在磨蹭什么? |
[19:35] | The arcade’s only open for another hour. | 游乐场还有一小时就关了 |
[19:37] | Go celebrate. | 去庆祝下吧 |
[19:38] | Really? But I lost. | 真的吗?但我输了 |
[19:40] | Yes, but you lost perfectly. | 没错 但你输得很漂亮 |
[19:44] | Come on, Bro. I’ll show you where Principal Hunter | 走吧 兄弟 |
[19:46] | keeps his keys to his filing cabinet on the way out. | 出去的时候我带你去看亨特校长 把档案柜的钥匙藏哪儿的 |
[19:48] | So I can keep track of the Yale application myself. | 这样我就能自己跟踪 耶鲁大学的申请进度了 |
[19:52] | I try. | 试试吧 |
[19:58] | Marvin, Ma, I’m sorry I doubted you. | 马尔文 妈妈 抱歉我怀疑你们 |
[20:00] | Emery, sorry I taped a recording device to your chest. | 艾默利 抱歉我在你胸口缠上录音机 |
[20:03] | – It left a mark. – Honey’s here, too. | -都留下印记了 -哈妮还在呢 |
[20:06] | Sorry I talked over “The Sopranos”. | 抱歉 看《黑道家族》时一直说话 |
[20:08] | To make it up to all of you, | 为了弥补各位 |
[20:10] | I wanted to present my two-man show. | 我准备呈现我的双人表演 |
[20:12] | Since you love sharing Lou stories, | 既然你们喜欢聊我的故事 |
[20:14] | this will give you a lot to chew on. | 我就让你们大饱眼福 |
[20:18] | “Two Lous” by Louis Huang. | 《两个阿路 》表演者黄路易斯 |
[20:22] | Growing up in Taiwan, nothing comes easy. | 在台湾生活 处处不易 |
[20:25] | [Gruffly] Shut up, you baby! | 闭嘴吧你 |
[20:27] | [Normal voice] Who said that? | 谁在说话? |
[20:28] | [Gruffly] You said that! | 是你 |
[20:30] | [Exhales shakily] | |
[20:32] | Okay, I don’t know what to do. | 我不知所措了 |
[20:35] | Just kiss her, you fool. | 快亲她 你个笨蛋 |
[20:41] | [Whispering] You said this was good. | 你说好看的 |
[20:43] | [Whispering] I remembered wrong. | 我记错了 |
[20:44] | I can’t believe I’m alone on Christmas. | 难以置信 圣诞节我孤身一人 |
[20:49] | You’re never alone… | 你从没孤身一人 |
[20:55] | [Southern accent] Let me live, Mama! | 让我自己生活吧 妈妈 |
[20:57] | [Femininely] Maybe if you acted like a man for once in your life. | 等你能像个男人一样再说吧 |
[21:01] | [Breathing heavily] | |
[21:02] | [Slurring] You’re drunk again, aren’t you? | 你又喝醉了 |
[21:04] | [Laughs] I’m not drunk! | 是不是? |
[21:07] | You’re drunk! | 我没醉 你才醉了! |
[21:11] | We’re drunk! | 我们都醉了 |
[21:13] | I wish I was drunk. | 我希望我醉了 |
[21:14] | Yeah, this is the only way I can get through this. Here. | 这是我唯一能挺过去的方法了 给你 |
[21:18] | We love ya, Lou! | 我们都爱你 阿路 |
[21:20] | Both of you! Bravo! Bravo! [Applause] | 你们两都很棒 |
[21:23] | All right, thank you very much. | -赞 -非常感谢 |
[21:24] | Now it’s time for act two. | 现在开始第二幕 |