| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | And then I moved to Ohio… | 然后我就搬到了俄亥俄州… |
| [00:03] | Akron, Ohio, rubber capital of the world. | 阿克伦城 世界著名橡胶之都 |
| [00:05] | He’s at the 20-minute mark. Louis, make it stop. | 给他的讲话时间到了 路易斯 叫他别说了 |
| [00:07] | Never. I’m riveted. What a life. | 不行 我被迷住了 他的人生经历太丰富了 |
| [00:09] | And it was there that I adopted | 在那里我领养了 |
| [00:11] | a little pet alligator I nicknamed Rocky. | 一只小宠物鳄鱼 我叫他洛奇 |
| [00:15] | His given name was Rico. | 大名里克 |
| [00:17] | – Rocky, baby! – Rocky. | – 洛奇 宝贝! – 洛奇 |
| [00:18] | All teeth and all love. | 它的牙齿有多锋利 我们就有多爱它 |
| [00:21] | That’s my best Navy buddy, Clyde Roses. | 这位是我在海军服役时最好的朋友 克莱蒂·罗斯 |
| [00:24] | He followed me out to the Rust Belt. | 他跟着我一起离开了铁锈地带 |
| [00:25] | We worked the line at the GM plant together. | 我们还一起在通用汽车工厂的生产线上工作过 |
| [00:28] | And if anybody needs auto parts, | 要是有人需要汽车零件 找我就对了 |
| [00:29] | I have a scrapyard in Pine Hills. | 我在松山有个废品回收场 |
| [00:32] | You got a spoiler for a station wagon? | 你有给旅行车用的小零件吗? |
| [00:34] | Spoiler alert… I do. | 小小剧透一下… 我有 |
| [00:36] | Now, uh, before we call it a night, | 好了 在今晚的聚会结束之前 |
| [00:38] | there is one more thing… | 还有一件事… |
| [00:40] | Your retirement present. | 你的退休礼物 |
| [00:43] | You’re getting me my very own flagpole for the yard? | 你要在院子里给我安个专属的旗杆吗? |
| [00:46] | Oh, honey, it’s the perfect gift. | 蜜儿 这是份完美的礼物 |
| [00:48] | Thank you, thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [00:52] | Wait. | 等一下 |
| [00:53] | I have an announcement. | 我有事情要宣布 |
| [00:55] | Grandma, if you fart right now, it’d be the perfect joke. | 奶奶 你要是现在放个屁 肯定超级搞笑 |
| [01:07] | Retire from what? | 从哪里退下来啊? |
| [01:28] | I’m just gonna say it. | 不行 我忍不住了 |
| [01:28] | Does anyone know what Grandma’s retiring from? | 有人知道奶奶要从哪里退休吗? |
| [01:31] | No idea. | 一头雾水 |
| [01:32] | I am so happy you brought that up. | 我很高兴你提起这件事 |
| [01:34] | I was standing there last night thinking, “What on Earth?” | 我昨晚就站在那里一直想 啥玩意儿? |
| [01:37] | I have made a list of my preferred retirement gifts. | 我给我想要的退休礼物列了一张清单 |
| [01:42] | Any one will do. | 上面你买哪个都行 |
| [01:43] | Just a gift? No party? | 买礼物就行了吗? 不用开派对庆祝吗? |
| [01:45] | The answers you seek are on the list. | 你想要的答案就在这份清单上面 |
| [01:51] | Drum kit? Hot tub? Trip to Jamaica for one? | 架子鼓? 热水浴缸? 牙买加单人游? |
| [01:54] | She wouldn’t like Jamaica. | 她不会想去牙买加的 |
| [01:55] | The post-colonial poverty would bum her out. | 她不会喜欢这个后殖民地穷国的 |
| [01:57] | Kid gets one Bob Marley CD. | 这就是给小孩听鲍勃·马利音乐的后果 |
| [02:00] | This list is crazy. | 这清单太不像话了 |
| [02:02] | Because she expects me to dismiss it. | 肯定是因为她想我不要理这个 |
| [02:05] | She wants a retirement party, but she’s too proud to ask. | 她想要的是一个退休派对 她只是不肯拉下面子问而已 |
| [02:07] | Or she’s just using that retirement | 又或者是 她只是想利用退休 |
| [02:10] | as an excuse to get a gift. | 这个理由来叫你给她买礼物 |
| [02:11] | Well, can I afford to take the chance? | 我冒得起险吗? |
| [02:13] | I don’t give her this party, and then she’ll seek revenge, | 要是我不给她开个派对 她生气了要报复我的话 |
| [02:15] | and I just don’t have the time for that. | 我可没功夫应付 |
| [02:16] | Totally get it. | 我懂 |
| [02:17] | It’s a lotta work, but I’m happy to do it. | 虽然很麻烦 可我很乐意这么做 |
| [02:19] | She deserves to be celebrated. | 这是她应得的 |
| [02:23] | Can someone agree with me? | 有人能表示一下赞同吗? |
| [02:24] | – Sure. – Yep. – What a woman. – No. | – 当然 – 好吧 – 了不起 – 不能 |
| [02:32] | I know I seemed to be my usual fun self at breakfast, | 我知道我刚刚在吃早餐的时候表现的跟平时一样风趣幽默 |
| [02:35] | but underneath that mirth, I’m full of fear. | 可是在欢乐背后 我的内心充满恐惧 |
| [02:38] | – Why? – We have a problem. | – 为什么? – 我们遇到问题了 |
| [02:40] | At Marvin’s party last night, | 在昨晚马尔文的派对上 |
| [02:41] | I overheard him gossiping about his patients. | 我不小心听见他在聊病人的八卦 |
| [02:43] | About a month ago, | 大概一个月前 |
| [02:44] | I was at his office for a dental procedure. | 我去他诊所看牙 |
| [02:50] | What’s so funny? | 什么这么好笑? |
| [02:51] | Oh, nothing. | 没什么 |
| [02:52] | You just told us a funny secret while you were under the gas. | 只是你刚刚在吸麻醉气体的时候 告诉了我们一个好玩的秘密 |
| [02:55] | Don’t worry. I won’t tell anybody. | 别担心 我不会告诉别人的 |
| [02:57] | Dentist-Patient confidentiality. | 牙医跟病人有保密协议 |
| [03:04] | Marvin retiring means | 那现在他退休就意味着 |
| [03:05] | that the Dentist-Patient confidentiality is over. | 保密协议也失效了 |
| [03:07] | That’s why he’s blabbing about his ex-patients. | 这就是为什么他到处去说前任病人的八卦 |
| [03:09] | He can freely tell my secret with no consequences. | 他随便把我的秘密说出来 也不用承担任何后果 |
| [03:12] | But, Evan, it’s you. | 但是 埃文 现在说的是你啊 |
| [03:13] | If you have any secrets, they’re baby secrets. | 你要是有什么秘密 也只是小孩子的秘密 |
| [03:16] | Like you befriended a ladybug | 不过就是你交了个瓢虫朋友 |
| [03:18] | and then accidentally stepped on it. | 然后不小心踩死了 |
| [03:20] | R.I.P., Spottypants. | 一路走好 圆点小可爱 |
| [03:22] | But I do have a big boy secret. | 可我真有一个大孩子的秘密 |
| [03:24] | And it could hurt us all. | 还会波及到我们所有人 |
| [03:26] | Marvin operated on my teeth | 马尔文给我看牙的那天 |
| [03:27] | the day after the best day of our lives. | 正好是我们人生中最美好的那一天的第二天 |
| [03:30] | – No. – Yep. | – 不是吧 – 是的 |
| [03:32] | I might’ve told him about “Reggie.” | 我可能把瑞吉的事情告诉他了 |
| [03:36] | – Reggie? – Reggie. | – 瑞吉? – 瑞吉 |
| [03:41] | Congrats, Jenny! | 珍妮 恭喜你! |
| [03:43] | It’s amazing, you put in all those years, doing… | 太厉害了 你这么多年来 做… |
| [03:47] | what you did. | 你做着的事情 |
| [03:49] | No longer, though. | 虽然 现在不做了 |
| [03:50] | you did a great job at that… the job. | 你做得很好… 你的工作 |
| [03:57] | Carol-Joan, | 嘿 卡洛·琼 |
| [03:58] | those lip injections are looking good. | 你的丰唇手术做得不错啊 |
| [04:01] | I only did it to be a better whistler. | 我做来只是为了能吹好口哨 |
| [04:05] | You were right. He’s a blabber box. | 你说得对 他就是个大嘴巴 |
| [04:07] | Uh, hello. | 大家好 |
| [04:09] | I want to thank you all | 我想要谢谢你们 |
| [04:10] | for joining us to celebrate my mother’s retirement. | 和我们一起庆祝我母亲的退休 |
| [04:14] | Now, if you could all turn your attention to the screen, | 现在 请各位留意一下大屏幕 |
| [04:16] | I put together a little retrospective. | 我做了一个回顾片 |
| [04:23] | You’re simply the best | 你就是最棒的 |
| [04:28] | Better than all the rest | 比其他人都还要棒 |
| [04:33] | Better than anyone | 比所有人都还要棒 |
| [04:36] | Anyone I ever met | 我认识的人里面最棒的 |
| [04:39] | You’re simply the best | 你就是最棒的 |
| [04:44] | I had to imagine myself while I was singing that | 我在唱的时候 得想着这首歌是唱给我自己的 |
| [04:46] | for it to feel real. | 不然就显得不真实了 |
| [04:48] | Uh, Ma, you simply are the best. | 妈妈 你就是最棒的 |
| [04:51] | Uh, and now that you’re retiring from, uh… | 既然你现在从… 退休了 |
| [04:57] | y-you’ll have time | 你就有时间 |
| [04:58] | to, uh, make new memories with all of us. | 和我们所有人创造新的回忆了 |
| [05:03] | Um, now, is there anything you’d like to say to everyone? | 好了 你有什么想跟我们大家说的吗? |
| [05:06] | I love you all. | 我爱你们全部人 |
| [05:08] | Now I’m ready for my gift. | 现在我准备好收礼物了 |
| [05:17] | The party is kind of the gift. | 这派对本身就是礼物了 |
| [05:20] | Then it was not necessary. | 那你没必要搞这个 |
| [05:22] | You should have just bought me a hot tub. | 你应该直接给我买一个热水浴缸的 |
| [05:26] | I’m sorry this nice party isn’t enough for you, | 我很抱歉这派对不是你想要的 |
| [05:28] | but a hot tub is just impractical. | 可是买个热水浴缸太不切实际了 |
| [05:30] | It’s a big responsibility. | 这是个很大的责任 |
| [05:31] | Who’d wash it? Who’d pay for its utility bills? | 谁来洗呢? 谁来付水电费呢? |
| [05:34] | Who’d, uh, take care of it when we’re out of town? | 我们不在家的时候 又找谁来给它做日常维护了? |
| [05:37] | Uh, maybe we start you with a foot bath. | 也许我们可以先给你买个足浴盆 |
| [05:39] | Maybe you start me with a hot tub. | 也许你先给我买个热浴盆 |
| [05:43] | Trent, the room is dying. Give me “Rolling on the River.” | 特伦特 气氛太尴尬了 给我弹个《河中翻滚》 |
| [05:46] | It’s called “Proud Mary.” | 那首歌的名字是《骄傲的玛丽》 |
| [05:47] | And it’s in D major, so good luck. | 这歌调很高 祝你好运 |
| [05:53] | I still can’t believe you told Marvin about Reggie. | 我还是不能相信你竟然跟马尔文讲了瑞吉的事 |
| [05:56] | Hey, lay off! | 喂 闭嘴! |
| [05:57] | I didn’t even want anything to do with “Reggie.” | 我甚至都不想和”瑞吉”有任何关系。 |
| [05:59] | It was your guys’ idea, and you pressured me to go. | 这是你们的主意 是你们逼我去的。 |
| [06:02] | Really? | 真的么? |
| [06:02] | So, you didn’t want to cut piano class, | 所以你不想翘掉钢琴课 |
| [06:04] | drive across state lines to meet Reginald VelJohnson, | 开车穿过州界去见雷金纳德·维尔约翰逊 |
| [06:07] | AKA Carl Winslow, | 或者说卡尔·温斯洛 |
| [06:08] | read his memoir at the Georgia Tech Student Union? | 在佐治亚理工学院学生会读他的回忆录? |
| [06:11] | Please! | 别装了! |
| [06:12] | Guys, it doesn’t matter who’s to blame. We’re all guilty. | 兄弟们 该怪谁并不重要 我们都有责任 |
| [06:16] | Well, Evan ratted on us, so he should take the heat | 埃文背叛了我们 所以他得背起这个锅 |
| [06:18] | and tell Mom and Dad he did it by himself. | 告诉爸妈这是他自己一个人做的事 |
| [06:20] | Whoa, whoa! That’s crazy! | 别 别! 疯了吧! |
| [06:22] | We don’t even know if I told him anything. | 咱们甚至不知道我有没有告诉他什么 |
| [06:25] | Why don’t we just ask Marvin if he knows? | 咱们为什么不问问马尔文他知不知道? |
| [06:27] | Dummy, if he didn’t know, | 笨蛋 如果他不知道 |
| [06:28] | we’d be telling him our secret by asking. | 我们问他的时候就等于把秘密告诉他了 |
| [06:31] | Public schools are failing our children. | 公立学校真是毁了祖国的花朵 |
| [06:33] | The only way to make sure Marvin stays quiet | 确保马尔文把嘴闭紧的唯一方法 |
| [06:36] | is to find out a secret about him to use against him. | 就是找出他的秘密来对付他 |
| [06:39] | Shut those loose lips with leverage. | 用手段堵住那些大嘴巴 |
| [06:41] | If anyone knows a secret about Marvin, | 如果有人知道马尔文的秘密 |
| [06:42] | it’s got to be his old Navy buddy. | 那一定是他在海军的老伙伴 |
| [06:47] | This is a punch card for Chubby Burger. | 这是胖汉堡的打孔卡 |
| [06:50] | I’m so close to a free egg. | 我马上就能换一个免费鸡蛋了 |
| [06:55] | This cuff link! | 这该死的袖扣! |
| [06:56] | Why won’t it come out?! | 为什么出不来?! |
| [06:57] | Louis, you know you shouldn’t undress when you’re upset. | 路易斯 你知道你不该在不开心的时候脱衣服 |
| [06:59] | Remember when you tore your pants | 还记得你看完”哈啦猛男” |
| [07:01] | after watching “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo”? | 之后把裤子撕了么? |
| [07:03] | Why is Schneider wasting our time? | 为什么施耐德要浪费我们的时间? |
| [07:04] | Just make the movie version of the “Makin’ Copies” Guy! | 简直把这部电影拍成了翻版”复印男”! |
| [07:08] | I just can’t believe my mom tonight. | 我今天晚上就是很不爽我妈 |
| [07:09] | Louis, so she didn’t like your party. | 路易斯 她不喜欢你的派对 |
| [07:11] | Why are you so upset? | 你为什么这么不高兴呢? |
| [07:13] | It’s not just tonight. She does this all the time. | 不只是今晚 她一直是这样 |
| [07:15] | I do everything for her, but do I ever get a thank-you? | 我为她做了一切 但我得到过感谢吗? |
| [07:17] | One thank-you? | 哪怕一句? |
| [07:19] | How can she be so ungrateful? | 她怎么能这么忘恩负义呢? |
| [07:20] | It’s frustrating. I know. | 你难过 我明白 |
| [07:22] | Mother-son relationships are complicated. | 母子关系是挺复杂的 |
| [07:25] | Remember last week with Evan? | 还记得上周埃文那事么? |
| [07:27] | I just bought this soy milk, and you leave it out to spoil? | 我刚买了这个豆奶 你就这么开着盖等它变质? |
| [07:30] | I’m sorry, Mommy. | 对不起 妈妈 |
| [07:32] | I know we have car insurance, | 我知道我们有车险 |
| [07:34] | but do we have mailbox and tree insurance? | 但我们有邮箱险和树险么? |
| [07:38] | It’s all about perspective. | 这都和你的视角有关 |
| [07:40] | Compared to perfection, Evan messed up. | 与完美相比 埃文搞砸了 |
| [07:42] | Compared to Eddie, Evan is a saint. | 但和埃迪相比 埃文简直是圣人 |
| [07:45] | Wait. That’s it. | 等会 就是这个 |
| [07:47] | My mom has her own Eddie. | 我妈有她自己的埃迪 |
| [07:51] | Gene! | 金! |
| [07:52] | I’ll invite my jackass brother over to visit, | 我把那个混蛋弟弟请来 |
| [07:54] | and he’ll annoy Mom so much, | 他就会把我妈烦死 |
| [07:56] | she’ll see how good she has it with me! | 她就会知道我对她有多好! |
| [07:57] | No, Louis! | 不 路易斯! |
| [07:58] | His voice is too loud | 他声音太大了 |
| [07:59] | and his clothes are too colorful. | 他的衣服也太鲜艳了 |
| [08:01] | And his cologne. He’s tough on all the senses. | 还有他的古龙水 他对所有的感官都是种摧残 |
| [08:03] | Exactly. I’ll tell him Mom’s retiring, and he’ll rush out here. | 就是要这样 我去告诉他妈妈要退休了 他就会冲过来的。 |
| [08:06] | Oh, God. | 天哪 |
| [08:07] | Hurricane Gene is coming to Orlando. | 飓风金即将登陆奥兰多 |
| [08:15] | Hello, brother. | 你好 哥哥 |
| [08:20] | Your face is like a sunrise in my heart. | 你的脸就像我心中的日出 |
| [08:32] | Each leaf in this tea has a story. | 这每一片茶叶都有一个故事 |
| [08:37] | Gene, you seem a little different. | 金 你看起来有点不一样 |
| [08:40] | Not just seem. | 不只是看起来 |
| [08:42] | I am. | 我确实不一样了 |
| [08:43] | You see, I had a near-death experience. | 是这样 我有过濒死的体验 |
| [08:45] | Oh, no! What happened? | 不是吧! 发生什么了! |
| [08:47] | I was at the Singapore zoo. | 我当时在新加坡动物园 |
| [08:49] | I climbed on the railings to make faces at the lions. | 我爬上栏杆对着狮子做鬼脸 |
| [08:52] | Then I fell in the pit. | 然后我就掉进了坑里 |
| [08:54] | – What?! – As that lioness was clawing my chest, | – 什么?! – 当那只母狮抓着我胸口的时候 |
| [08:58] | I realized life is precious | 我意识到生命是宝贵的 |
| [08:59] | and we must value every moment | 我们必须珍惜 |
| [09:02] | while we have on this Earth. | 在这个世界上的每一刻 |
| [09:04] | He’s not a hurricane. | 他不是飓风 |
| [09:05] | He’s a warm breeze on a hot summer day. | 他是炎热夏日里的一阵和风 |
| [09:07] | This is great. | 这不正合你意么 |
| [09:08] | This new Gene is more annoying than ever. | 这个新的金比以往任何时候都让人讨厌 |
| [09:10] | So, Gene, you came here for my retirement. | 金 你为了庆祝我退休大老远跑来了 |
| [09:13] | Did you bring me a gift? | 你给我带礼物了么? |
| [09:15] | I did, Mother. | 我带了 母亲 |
| [09:17] | I brought you a deep hug of gratitude. | 我带给你一个充满感激的拥抱 |
| [09:19] | O-O-Oh, no… no… No, thank you. | 不… 不… 不 谢了 |
| [09:22] | Does anybody know how to give a gift anymore? | 就没有人知道怎么给人送礼吗? |
| [09:27] | What’s wrong with our mother? | 我们的妈妈怎么了? |
| [09:29] | Well, you may not realize this, | 你可能没有意识到 |
| [09:30] | because you visit once every 10 years, | 因为你每十年才来看一次 |
| [09:32] | but our aging mother can be difficult. | 但是我们年迈的母亲很难相处 |
| [09:34] | She’s been like this all the time, | 她一直都是这样的 |
| [09:36] | and it’s been “Steady Louis” Taking care of everything | 一直是”沉稳路易斯”照顾好一切 |
| [09:38] | while you’ve been in Taiwan. | 而你却在台湾 |
| [09:40] | You’re right. I haven’t been here. | 你说得对 我一直不在身边 |
| [09:41] | But now it’s my turn to share the load with Mom. | 但现在就让我来分担妈妈的重担吧 |
| [09:44] | Suddenly you care about doing your share? | 你现在突然关心起你的分内事了? |
| [09:46] | I do. | 没错 |
| [09:49] | Okay, sure. | 好吧 |
| [09:50] | Uh, well, Mom has a full plate of errands today | 妈妈今天有一大堆杂事 |
| [09:53] | that I’d help her with, | 要我帮她做 |
| [09:53] | but, um, why don’t you go ahead and take over for me? | 但要不你来替我做吧? |
| [09:56] | Oh, I’d love to. It’d be great fun. | 我很乐意 会很有趣的 |
| [09:59] | Right. That’s our mom… A pleasure. | 对 这就是我们的妈妈… 一种乐趣 |
| [10:05] | You. | 你 |
| [10:06] | Just… you. | 还是… 你 |
| [10:11] | So, Clyde, we’re here because | 克莱蒂 我们来找你 |
| [10:13] | we were thinking of doing a retirement roast for Marvin. | 是因为我们想给马尔文致辞庆祝一下退休 |
| [10:16] | We need some funny stories of him when he was younger. | 我们想听一些他年轻时的趣事 |
| [10:19] | Well, funny stories and Ol’ Marv go hand in hand, | 趣事和马尔文可是密不可分的 |
| [10:22] | like, uh… Like plums and hot sauce. | 像 呃… 就像李子和辣酱 |
| [10:25] | In ’68, Marv and I were driving across country, | 68年 我和马夫开车横穿美国 |
| [10:27] | took a stop in New Orleans, met some swamp ladies. | 在新奥尔良停下 遇到了几个沼泽姑娘 |
| [10:31] | Well, we had a few drinks and… | 我们喝了点小酒然后… |
| [10:34] | I can’t finish this story. | 我没法给你们讲这个 |
| [10:38] | Okay, how about a story from when you were in the Navy? | 好吧 那要不讲讲你们在军队的故事? |
| [10:40] | Once, we stopped this mysterious boat | 有一次 我们拦住了这艘 |
| [10:42] | that had crossed into American waters. | 进入美国水域的神秘船只 |
| [10:44] | Marv and I kicked down the doors to the bridge, | 我和马夫踢开通往大桥的门 |
| [10:46] | and we were confronted by these… these two… | 然后我们碰上… 碰上两个… |
| [10:50] | sea ladies. | 大海姑娘 |
| [10:52] | So, we had a few drinks and… | 所以我们喝了点小酒然后… |
| [10:56] | I can’t finish this story, either. | 这个我也没法给你们讲 |
| [10:57] | Well, are there any stories you can tell us | 行吧 你能给我们讲一些 |
| [10:59] | without drinks or ladies? | 与酒和女人无关的故事么? |
| [11:02] | Here it is, boys. | 我这么说吧 孩子们 |
| [11:03] | Marvin? | 马尔文? |
| [11:04] | Marvin is my best buddy. We’re like brothers. | 马尔文是我最好的朋友 我们就像兄弟 |
| [11:07] | And brothers don’t talk out of school about their secrets. | 而兄弟们不会在校外谈论他们的秘密 |
| [11:10] | I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful. | 抱歉我没能帮上什么忙 |
| [11:11] | I got to go, uh, fire up the magnet. | 我得走了 去把磁铁打开 |
| [11:16] | Move some cars. | 挪挪车 |
| [11:17] | Come on. | 快点 |
| [11:19] | Yeah, come on. | 行啦 快来 |
| [11:23] | Gene and Mom have been doing errands for a long time. | 金和妈妈已经一起干活好久了 |
| [11:25] | That’s a good thing. | 那是件好事 |
| [11:26] | They probably got in a fight at the salon | 他们可能在沙龙打起来了 |
| [11:28] | and one of them is arrested. | 其中一个人被捕 |
| [11:30] | Or dead. | 或死亡 |
| [11:32] | Damn it. | 该死 |
| [11:33] | Hey! | 嗨! |
| [11:35] | Sorry to take so long. | 抱歉用了这么久 |
| [11:36] | Her nail guy is very chatty, | 给她涂指甲油的人太能聊了 |
| [11:38] | and I loved every minute of it. | 我享受那每一分钟 |
| [11:41] | I believe in him. | 我信任他 |
| [11:42] | I think he has designed a better energy drink. | 我觉得他确实设计了一款更棒的功能饮料 |
| [11:44] | The trick is getting it into stores. | 问题是怎么把它弄进商店 |
| [11:46] | Anyway, Ma, I’m gonna get you some water. | 无论怎样 妈妈 我要给你弄点水 |
| [11:57] | You don’t? | 不够感谢? |
| [11:58] | That’s never crossed my mind at all. | 我从来没想过 |
| [12:08] | Uh, that means so much, Ma. | 这话对我意义重大 妈妈 |
| [12:10] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [12:15] | This new, extra-annoying Gene totally did the trick. | 全新的 格外让人讨厌的金竟然达到了目的 |
| [12:17] | She’s never treated you like that. | 她之前从来没这么对你过 |
| [12:19] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [12:20] | I’m pretty emotional on the inside right now, | 我心里现在十分感触 |
| [12:22] | but I don’t want to cry in front of you. | 但我不想在你面前哭 |
| [12:24] | Don’t. Bottle it up and save it for the shower. | 别 把眼泪装进瓶子 留着洗澡用吧 |
| [12:27] | Wasn’t that amazing? | 不是很棒吗? |
| [12:29] | Um, what are you talking about? | 你在说什么? |
| [12:30] | When I arrived, | 我到的时候 |
| [12:32] | I sensed there was tension between you and Mom. | 就感觉你和妈妈之间有点紧张 |
| [12:35] | You glowed with resentment. | 你身上散发着怨恨 |
| [12:37] | So I talked to her about it, | 所以我就跟她说了这事 |
| [12:38] | and I got her to empathize with the burden you feel. | 然后我让她理解到你身上的负担 |
| [12:41] | You’re saying you somehow got our mother | 你是说 是你想办法 |
| [12:43] | to feel empathy for me? | 让妈妈理解我的? |
| [12:44] | The woman who thinks Lex Luthor is the hero of “Superman”? | 那个认为莱克斯卢瑟是超人的女人? |
| [12:47] | I did. | 是我 |
| [12:49] | Well, I don’t know what to say. | 好吧 我不知道该说什么 |
| [12:51] | I appreciate you doing that. | 感谢你那么做 |
| [12:52] | Look, I couldn’t have fallen in that lion pit and changed my life | 听着 要不是你在这照顾我妈妈 |
| [12:55] | if you weren’t here taking care of Mom, | 我不可能掉入那个狮子洞然后改变了我的一生 |
| [12:57] | so it was… It was the least I could do. | 那是我至少能做的 |
| [13:00] | Thanks, Gene. | 谢谢你 金 |
| [13:03] | Whoo! She’s firing up the jets! | 哇 她打开了喷射机! |
| [13:06] | Jets? | 喷射机? |
| [13:08] | Isn’t she beautiful? | 她多美丽啊！ |
| [13:10] | Same-day delivery. | 同日达 |
| [13:12] | You bought her a hot tub? | 你给她买了个浴缸? |
| [13:14] | I taught her to value you more, | 我教她更珍惜你 |
| [13:16] | and as a reward for learning her lesson, | 这是上课的奖励 |
| [13:19] | I got her a gift. | 我给她买了个礼物 |
| [13:20] | So you didn’t teach her anything. | 所以你什么都没教她 |
| [13:21] | You just bought her off! | 你不过是收买她了! |
| [13:27] | yes, I remember the day you came in well. | 是的 我记得你刚来的时候 |
| [13:29] | You were a real Chatty Cathy. | 你真的很能聊 |
| [13:31] | Nice job, bro. | 干的漂亮 伙计 |
| [13:32] | What did I say, exactly? | 我说啥来着? |
| [13:34] | Well, it wasn’t so much what you said. | 好吧 可是你没说啥 |
| [13:36] | It’s how you said it. | 是你说的方式 |
| [13:38] | Little secret. | 小秘密 |
| [13:39] | Your eyebrows look like birds. | 你的眉毛像小鸟 |
| [13:44] | So I wasn’t making any sense? | 所以我说的一点道理都没有吗? |
| [13:46] | No, you just kept looking at your reflection | 不 你只是一直在我的小镜子里 |
| [13:48] | in my tiny mirror and saying, “Peep these cheeks!” | 看你的倒影 然后”看看这小脸蛋” |
| [13:51] | That’s amazing! | 太棒了 |
| [13:52] | Oh, and you were the opposite of Evan | 你那时候 |
| [13:54] | when you were there. | 就是埃文的反面 |
| [13:56] | Come again, Queenie? | 又来 奎尼? |
| [13:57] | This is a secret, but I love Garth Brooks. | 那是个秘密 但我喜欢加思·布鲁克斯 |
| [14:01] | And Shania impresses me very much. | 沙尼亚也让我印象深刻 |
| [14:04] | Oh, and me and my brothers drove to Georgia | 我和我兄弟开车去乔治亚 |
| [14:07] | to meet Reginald VelJohnson. | 去见雷金纳德维尔约翰逊 |
| [14:09] | It wasn’t my fault! It was the gas! | 那不是我的错 这是麻醉气体的问题! |
| [14:11] | They gave me a man’s dosage | 他们给了我一个成年男人的用量 |
| [14:12] | even though I’m still a little boy! | 可我还是个小男孩! |
| [14:14] | Is Georgia beautiful? I hear it’s beautiful. | 乔治亚漂亮吗? 我听说很漂亮 |
| [14:23] | I feel like we’re in a giant bowl of noodles. | 我感觉我们在一大碗面条里 |
| [14:26] | You ever wonder what it would be like | 你有想过如果我们像面条一样 |
| [14:27] | if we spent our life as a noodle? | 度过一生会是什么样子吗? |
| [14:29] | That’s enough, Gene. | 够了 金 |
| [14:31] | Okay, everybody out! This tub is going back where it came from! | 好吧 大家都出去 这个浴缸哪来的回哪去 |
| [14:34] | Whoa, boss. You said this is a job for two? | 哇 老板 你说这是两个人的工作? |
| [14:36] | I dunno. | 我不知道 |
| [14:37] | We’re gonna drain it first. | 我们得先把它抽干 |
| [14:39] | Jessica, what are you doing? | 杰西卡 你在干嘛? |
| [14:41] | Your mother said | 你妈妈说 |
| [14:42] | she’d take care of the tub and pay the utilities, | 她会负责浴缸并且付电费的 |
| [14:45] | so why say no to a free hot tub? | 所以免费的浴缸谁不要呢? |
| [14:46] | And you believe her? | 你相信她? |
| [14:47] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [14:48] | If Mom can’t make payments, | 如果妈妈不付钱 |
| [14:50] | then Steady Gene can handle it. | 沉稳金会处理的 |
| [14:53] | Steady Gene? | 沉稳金? |
| [14:54] | Hilarious. | 真好笑 |
| [14:55] | Here’s what’s actually gonna happen. | 事情会是这样发展的: |
| [14:57] | In about a week or two, Mom will forget to pay the utilities, | 在大约一到两周内 妈妈会忘了付电费 |
| [14:59] | Gene will be long gone, | 金早就走了 |
| [15:01] | and it’ll all fall on me, just like it always does. | 然后由我负责 就像之前一样 |
| [15:03] | You have that little faith in me? | 你这么不信任我? |
| [15:05] | The one thing I have faith in is that you’ll always screw up. | 我唯一相信的就是你总是把事情搞砸 |
| [15:08] | I even brought you here to screw up and make me look good, | 我甚至把你带过来把事情搞砸显得我很棒 |
| [15:11] | and you somehow screwed that up, too. | 但你也搞砸了 |
| [15:12] | I’m not a screw-up anymore. | 我再也不搞砸事情了 |
| [15:14] | I’ve changed. | 我变了 |
| [15:16] | But clearly, you haven’t. | 但很明显 你没有 |
| [15:17] | Once a martyr, always a martyr. | 成事不足 败事有余 |
| [15:22] | I’m not ready to show my lion scars to anyone. | 我还没准备好给任何人看我的狮子疤 |
| [15:25] | But my emotional scars for being your brother? | 但是当你兄弟的情感伤疤就可以? |
| [15:30] | Well, that is right out there for all to witness! | 你们所有人都见证了! |
| [15:37] | Not to invite myself in, | 我不是故意想插话的 |
| [15:39] | but have you ever seen a redhead in a hot tub? | 但是你见过浴缸里红色的头吗? |
| [15:41] | It’s like a lobster in a pot. | 就像锅里的龙虾 |
| [15:42] | It’s sort of my party trick. | 和我的派对恶作剧差不多 |
| [15:47] | Gene’s locked himself in our bedroom. | 金把自己锁在卧室了 |
| [15:49] | He says he’s meditating, but I can hear him crying. | 他说他在冥想 但我听到他在哭 |
| [15:51] | Why can’t anything be easy? | 为什么就没件省心的事? |
| [15:52] | Can you believe this? | 你敢信? |
| [15:54] | Gene was right. You’re a martyr. | 金是对的 你就是成事不足 |
| [15:57] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
| [15:58] | You got everything you wanted. | 你已经得到你想要的一切了 |
| [15:59] | A helpful Gene, a respectful Grandma, | 有用的金 尊敬你的奶奶 |
| [16:01] | even a new hot tub. | 甚至一个全新的浴缸 |
| [16:02] | Yet you’re still acting like it’s some kind of a burden. | 你还在表现的好像那是某种负担 |
| [16:05] | “I’m Louis. Woe is me. Poor me. | 我是路易斯 我太难了 可怜的我 |
| [16:07] | I married totally out of my league.” | 我的婚姻完全出乎我的意料 |
| [16:10] | I guess I got so used to fixing my family’s problems | 我想我已经习惯于解决我家人的问题了 |
| [16:12] | that I didn’t believe that they could change. | 我不相信他们会改变 |
| [16:14] | Well, of course not. You’re terrible with change. | 对啊 你当然没想到 你太不喜欢改变了 |
| [16:16] | What do you mean? | 什么意思？ |
| [16:17] | When Emery tried to quit volleyball, you stalked him. | 当埃默里想要放弃排球时 你跟踪了他 |
| [16:20] | When Eddie had to learn how to drive, you pushed him so hard | 当埃迪必须学会开车时 你把他逼得太厉害了 |
| [16:23] | that he ran over a child on a scooter. | 以至于他撞到了一个骑摩托车的孩子 |
| [16:25] | When Gene arrived and your role with Grandma changed, | 当金来了 你和奶奶的角色一改变 |
| [16:27] | here we are. | 就成了现在的样子 |
| [16:28] | I could go on. | 我还可以继续说下去 |
| [16:29] | No, no, I get it. | 不 不用了 我懂你的意思了 |
| [16:30] | It’s hard for me. | 这对我来说很难 |
| [16:31] | You see Marvin’s stupid new flagpole in his yard? | 你看到马尔文院子里有个愚蠢的新旗杆了吗？ |
| [16:35] | That’s you. | 这就是你 |
| [16:37] | The steady pole in the ground. | 像固定在地面上的旗杆一样 |
| [16:38] | Everyone else around you is like the flag, | 你身边的其他人就像旗帜 |
| [16:41] | changing direction as the wind shifts. | 会随风变换方向 |
| [16:43] | But not you. | 但你不会 |
| [16:44] | You’re keeping everything in place. | 你把一切都保持在原来的位置上 |
| [16:46] | But the pole gets no attention. | 但旗杆并不会受到关注 |
| [16:48] | We salute the flag but not the pole. | 我们向旗帜敬礼 但不向旗杆敬礼 |
| [16:50] | It might help you out every once in a while | 如果你时不时的变成旗帜的话 |
| [16:52] | if you were the flag. | 可能会对你有所帮助 |
| [16:54] | I think you’re right. | 我认为你是对的 |
| [16:55] | And beautiful metaphor. | 而且比喻得很漂亮 |
| [16:57] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [16:58] | You know, I hated that stupid flagpole, | 你知道 我讨厌愚蠢的旗杆 |
| [17:00] | but suddenly, it’s useful to me. | 但突然之间它对我很有用 |
| [17:01] | Marvin’s gonna blow | 当奶奶想要在那旗杆上晾干她的裤子时 |
| [17:03] | when Grandma tries to dry her panties on that thing. | 马尔文会被气炸的 |
| [17:09] | I’m sorry, guys. | 我很抱歉 伙计们 |
| [17:11] | I just don’t trust myself to keep that secret. | 我只是不相信我能保守住那秘密 |
| [17:13] | Please, Uncle Marvin? | 求你了 马尔文叔叔 |
| [17:14] | No way, Jose Canseco. | 没用的 何塞·坎塞科 |
| [17:16] | I’ve spent the last 40 years | 我前四十年 |
| [17:18] | talking to patients all day long, | 整天都在和病人聊天 |
| [17:20] | and now I’ve got no outlet. | 而现在我却没有说话的对象 |
| [17:21] | And I’m a chatterbox. | 而且我还是个话匣子 |
| [17:22] | I mean, the minute I run into somebody, | 我是说 我一遇到某人 |
| [17:25] | But you’re a Navy man. | 但你是个海军士兵 |
| [17:27] | Shouldn’t you be able to control yourself? | 你难道不能控制自己吗？ |
| [17:29] | Hey, us Navy guys are in control on the ocean. | 嘿 我们海军士兵会在海上控制自己 |
| [17:33] | But we’re on land, little buddies. | 但现在我们在陆地上了 小兄弟 |
| [17:34] | All bets are off. | 所有协议都取消了 |
| [17:35] | Sea legs, land lips. | 在船上行走自如 在离地上说话自由 |
| [17:39] | Oh, by the way, Queenie says “Hi.” | 哦 对了 奎尼向你问好 |
| [17:41] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [17:42] | You talked to Queenie? | 你和奎尼说话了？ |
| [17:44] | Is that a threat? | 这是在威胁我吗？ |
| [17:46] | Did she tell you about… | 她有和你提到 |
| [17:48] | Angela? | 安吉拉吗? |
| [17:50] | Angela? | 安吉拉？ |
| [17:52] | You don’t know about Angela, do you? | 你们不知道安吉拉 是吗？ |
| [17:55] | No. But now we do. | 不知道 但现在我们知道了 |
| [17:56] | Just the lip leverage we were looking for. | 正如我们所希望的撬开了你的嘴巴 |
| [17:58] | How could you do this to Honey? | 你怎么能这样对蜜儿？ |
| [18:00] | Who is she? | 她是谁啊？ |
| [18:02] | No, Angela’s the name of my boat. | 不 安吉拉是我的船的名字 |
| [18:04] | I’ve been keeping her a secret for years | 我已经保密这艘船很久了 |
| [18:05] | because Honey thought that a boat was a bad investment. | 因为蜜儿觉得船是一个赔本的投资 |
| [18:08] | But what about the boat you got for retirement? | 但你退休后的船呢？ |
| [18:10] | Well, it’s the same boat. | 嗯 是同一艘船 |
| [18:12] | I gave old Angela a wax job | 我给老安吉拉打了新蜡 |
| [18:13] | and then I pretended that I bought a new one. | 然后就假装我买了一艘新的船 |
| [18:16] | So please don’t tell Honey. | 所以请别告诉蜜儿 |
| [18:17] | How about we’ll keep your secret if you keep ours? | 不如我们会替你保密 你也替我们保密 怎么样？ |
| [18:20] | Yeah, that’s a deal. | 好啊 说好了 |
| [18:21] | We’re brothers now, | 我们现在是 |
| [18:23] | bound forever by our shared secrets. | 永远被我们分享的秘密拴住的兄弟了 |
| [18:25] | I might even throw in a few weekend boat rides. | 我甚至可以参加周末的乘船旅行 |
| [18:28] | My only rule… | 我唯一的准则是 |
| [18:29] | Never, ever touch the harpoon gun. | 永远不要触碰鱼叉枪 |
| [18:32] | It’s for that seagull that stole my hat. | 那玩意儿是为了那只偷走了我帽子的海鸥准备的 |
| [18:38] | Hey, brother. | 嘿 兄弟 |
| [18:41] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么？ |
| [18:42] | Trying to be more like you. | 为了变得更像你 |
| [18:44] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [18:45] | Because Hurricane Gene is the kind of guy | 因为飓风金就是那种 |
| [18:47] | to put a hot tub in a living room. | 在客厅中放一个热水浴缸的人 |
| [18:49] | “Clever.” | 真聪明 |
| [18:49] | I’m trying to change, like you did. | 我在尝试着改变 就像你一样 |
| [18:51] | And the change I need is to be a little more unpredictable. | 而且我需要的是更不可预测的改变 |
| [18:55] | But the carpets… | 但是地毯 |
| [18:56] | I’m extremely worried about the carpets, | 我非常担心地毯 |
| [18:58] | but I’m letting that go. | 但我不予理会了 |
| [18:59] | Can you hop in? | 你能进来吗？ |
| [19:00] | I have a lot of apologizing to do, | 我有很多想想要道歉的地方 |
| [19:02] | and we do our best brother-to-brother talks | 然后我们会来一场兄弟之间的谈话 |
| [19:04] | in hot water. | 在这热水中 |
| [19:06] | Like in the hot springs with Dad. | 就像和爸爸一起泡温泉一样 |
| [19:09] | I’m, uh, sorry about earlier. | 我对之前的行为感到很抱歉 |
| [19:11] | When you took over my role of helping Ma, I struggled. | 当你接手我帮助妈妈的角色时，我很纠缠 |
| [19:15] | But I am thankful | 但是我很感谢 |
| [19:16] | for you teaching her to appreciate me. | 你教会了她要感谢我 |
| [19:19] | Boy, our family didn’t make it easy on you. | 兄弟 我们的家庭对你来说并不轻松 |
| [19:22] | And Hurricane Gene wasn’t easy on anyone. | 而且飓风金对任何人来说都很糟心 |
| [19:24] | You, my wife… | 你 我的妻子 |
| [19:26] | Oh, I’m sure she’s loving the new you. | 哦 我相信她喜欢现在全新的你 |
| [19:28] | Wouldn’t know. | 不知道 |
| [19:29] | She left me, Louis. | 她离开我了 路易斯 |
| [19:32] | What?! | 什么?! |
| [19:32] | When did that happen? | 这是什么时候的事? |
| [19:33] | It was recently… | 就在最近 |
| [19:34] | Actually, it was over two years ago. | 事实上 这是两年前的事 |
| [19:37] | But I was too ashamed to talk about it to you or Mom. | 但我羞于跟你或妈妈说 |
| [19:40] | Wow. I’m so sorry, Gene. | 我感到很难过 金 |
| [19:42] | It’s okay. | 没关系的 |
| [19:43] | I’m actually better | 事实上我更好了 |
| [19:45] | ’cause it made me look myself in the mirror | 因为这让我看到了镜中的自己 |
| [19:47] | and make some changes. | 然后做了些改变 |
| [19:48] | Wait, so you didn’t fall into a lion pit? | 等等 所以你没有掉进狮子坑？ |
| [19:51] | Oh, no, no, I did. | 哦 不 不 我掉进去过 |
| [19:52] | It was an unrelated incident. I’m super clumsy. | 这是一个毫无关联的事情 我超级笨手笨脚 |
| [19:55] | Seriously, just being here with you | 讲真 就只是和你在一起 |
| [19:56] | really made me feel better. | 已经让我好很多了 |
| [19:58] | I mean, it always does. | 我想说 和你一起总能让我好很多 |
| [20:00] | I didn’t come here just for Mom’s retirement. | 我来这儿不只是为了妈妈的退休 |
| [20:02] | Well, you’re welcome here anytime. | 欢迎你随时来 |
| [20:06] | Actually, what is Mom retiring from? | 但是 妈妈是从什么工作上退休的呢？ |
| [20:10] | No idea. | 我不知道 |
| [20:11] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [20:16] | Okay, everybody’s got it? | 好了 所有人都懂了吗？ |
| [20:18] | Arms up. | 抬起手臂 |
| [20:20] | Five, six, seven, eight. | 五 六 七 八 |