| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | I’m just… | 我就是 |
| [00:02] | I’m so excited to tell you guys… | 超级兴奋 有件事要跟大家说… |
| [00:03] | Louis, when’s it your turn to speak? | 路易斯 什么时候轮到你发言? |
| [00:04] | I’m on a tight schedule, and I can’t waste time | 我很忙 没空浪费时间来 |
| [00:06] | listening to these HOA ladies squawk about “Community spirit.” | 听这些家委会成员为了社区精神说个不停 |
| [00:09] | Soon. | 快了 |
| [00:10] | And while summering in Tuscany… | 当我在托斯卡纳区避暑时 |
| [00:12] | You were there for four days. In May. | 你只在那儿呆了四天 而且是五月 |
| [00:16] | I noticed the locals | 我注意到当地人 |
| [00:17] | sitting in the piazza all day long, | 一整天都在广场里坐着 |
| [00:20] | which inspired the theme for our new median. | 所以我想到了我们新分隔带的主题 |
| [00:24] | Say buon giorno… to Piazza del Eastview. | 向东景广场说早安 |
| [00:30] | And it’s more than just a traffic diversion. | 这不只是交通分流 |
| [00:32] | It is neutral territory for community bonding. | 还是社区交流的分割区 |
| [00:35] | “Community.” | 社区啊 |
| [00:36] | I mean, we’re gonna have a ribbon-cutting ceremony | 我是说 我们下周将会举办 |
| [00:38] | – next week and… – Okay, we get it, lady. | – 剪彩仪式 – 好了 我们懂了 |
| [00:40] | Let’s move on. | 往下进行吧 |
| [00:43] | Okay, next item on the agenda, | 议程的下一项是 |
| [00:46] | I believe we have a Louis Huang? | 路易斯·黄要发言? |
| [00:51] | Thanks, son. | 谢了 儿子 |
| [00:53] | Uh, hey everyone. | 大家好 |
| [00:54] | Many of you know me as the peppy owner | 大部分人都知道我是牧场主餐厅 |
| [00:56] | of, uh, Cattleman’s Ranch, | 热情的老板 |
| [00:58] | the award-winning steakhouse located right off I-4, | 我们餐厅牛排获过奖 店就在I-4路 |
| [01:01] | uh, now offering a chopped Cobb. | 柯布牛排是我们的新品 |
| [01:07] | Um, but today, I’d like to reintroduce myself | 但是今天 我想重新介绍自己 |
| [01:10] | as Louis Huang, business consultant | 以路易斯·黄 路为你铺咨询公司创始人 |
| [01:12] | and founder of Lou For You Consulting. | 及咨询顾问的身份 |
| [01:17] | Uh, still finding the name. | 名字还没定 |
| [01:20] | Uh, after weeks of soul searching, | 思索了几周后 |
| [01:22] | I found my purpose… | 我终于找到了想做的事 |
| [01:23] | Helping others realize their small-business dreams. | 帮助别人实现创业梦 |
| [01:26] | And I’m relying on referrals from people like you… | 我需要引荐人 比如你们 |
| [01:29] | Well, what kind of profit margins | 我们现在谈的事 |
| [01:30] | are we talking about here? | 有多少利润? |
| [01:32] | Um, I’m just starting, | 我才刚开始 |
| [01:33] | so it must be somewhere around zero. | 所以应该跟零利润差不多 |
| [01:37] | What have you done to promote your business? | 你都做了什么来促成你的事业? |
| [01:39] | Uh, well, there’s this. | 找你们做引荐 |
| [01:40] | Uh, and an e-commerce conference coming up. | 还有个电子商务会议要参加 |
| [01:42] | Oh! My mother’s Mahjong tournament. | 还有我妈举办的麻将锦标赛 |
| [01:44] | Different ballrooms, same Radisson. | 不同的比赛房间 但都在雷迪森酒店 |
| [01:46] | I am so excited for this new chapter of your life, Louis. | 路易斯 我为你的人生新篇章感到高兴 |
| [01:51] | You tied up in assets, or are you free to move? | 你是固定资金 还是流动资金? |
| [01:53] | How robust is your client portfolio? | 你的客户投资组合有多稳健? |
| [01:58] | S… I-I-I-I don’t know yet, but, um… | 我 我 我还不清楚 但是… |
| [02:00] | Well, if you don’t have any clients, | 路易斯 如果你没有客户 |
| [02:01] | you’re not a real business, Louis. | 这就不是正经在做生意 |
| [02:05] | Get out of here. | 你还是走吧 |
| [02:24] | Honey, I know it’s hard to get out with two little ones, | 蜜儿 我知道带着两个小宝宝很难出门 |
| [02:26] | so I brought you something to nibble on… | 所以我给你带了点吃的 |
| [02:28] | Slab of ribs and our famous chopped Cobb. | 肋板和我们店最有名的柯布牛排 |
| [02:30] | Thanks, Louis. | 谢了 路易斯 |
| [02:31] | I’m always happy to help. It’s kinda my thing. | 我很乐意提供帮助 这是我的专长 |
| [02:33] | Or it was before Deidre crushed my dreams. | 或者在黛德丽粉碎了我的梦想之前是 |
| [02:36] | Well, that’s kinda Deidre’s thing. | 这是黛德丽的专长 |
| [02:38] | That and a Mariah-level cackle. | 还有玛利亚级别的笑声 |
| [02:40] | Well, she very publicly noted | 她大庭广众之下 |
| [02:42] | that my new consulting business has no clients and no money. | 说我的新咨询公司既没客户也没钱 |
| [02:44] | Technically, we’re in the red | 技术上来说 自从印了这些名片 |
| [02:46] | since printing these business cards. | 我们就一直处于亏损状态 |
| [02:50] | This a business card | 这是张名片 |
| [02:51] | or an invitation to a really weird party? | 还是某个怪异派对的邀请函? |
| [02:53] | Yeah, I haven’t landed on a company name. | 是 我还没想好公司名称 |
| [02:55] | According to Deidre, I haven’t even landed on a company. | 按黛德丽的说法 我甚至连个公司都没有 |
| [02:58] | Tune her out. | 别理她 |
| [02:59] | She is just a bottle blonde with low bone density. | 她不过是个金发骨质疏松的花瓶 |
| [03:01] | – That’s easier said than done. – Not really. | – 说着容易 – 并不是 |
| [03:03] | I use the same technique for my girls. | 我也对女儿们用这招 |
| [03:05] | When I need a break and they refuse to nap, | 当我想休息而她们不肯睡的时候 |
| [03:07] | I just shut off the baby monitor for a few minutes. | 我就把宝宝监听器关个几分钟 |
| [03:12] | Oh, God. Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:13] | TMI. | 信息量太大 |
| [03:14] | No, Jessica and I did the same thing with the boys. | 不会 杰西卡和我以前也是这么对儿子们的 |
| [03:16] | Only we didn’t have a baby monitor. | 唯一差别就是我们没有宝宝监听器 |
| [03:25] | That’s how we got hooked on “Mork & Mindy.” | 我们就是这样迷上了默克与明蒂 |
| [03:27] | More like “Mindy & Mork,” If you ask me. | 要我说的话 更像是明蒂与默克 |
| [03:30] | Oh, it is so good to hear | 很高兴知道 |
| [03:31] | I’m not the only parent who struggles. | 不是只有我受煎熬 |
| [03:32] | I swear, when it’s not magical, | 我发誓 宝宝要么是天使 |
| [03:34] | it’s a waking nightmare. | 要么就是个醒着的噩梦 |
| [03:35] | Oh, there’s no middle ground. | 确实 没有其它选项 |
| [03:37] | It’s either nirvana or a sledgehammer to the crotch. | 要么是天堂 要么是疼痛一击 |
| [03:40] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [03:41] | I wish more parents would share this kind of thing. | 我希望有更多的父母能分享这方面的事 |
| [03:44] | Hey, you should start a web log on Live Diary. | 嘿 你应该在生活日记网上写网络日志 |
| [03:47] | I don’t understand any of those words. | 我一个字没听懂 |
| [03:49] | It’s a new Internet platform I heard about at that conference. | 它是个网络平台 是我在会议上听到的 |
| [03:51] | People write posts to share their thoughts anonymously. | 人们匿名发帖分享想法 |
| [03:54] | Hmm. What I’m hearing is | 在我听来 我可以 |
| [03:55] | I can do it while wearing pajamas? | 边发帖边穿着睡衣? |
| [03:57] | That sounds great. | 听起来不错 |
| [03:59] | Ooh, I could call it “TMI: | 噢 我可以叫它TIM |
| [04:00] | True Mommy Insights.” | 妈咪的真实想法 |
| [04:02] | That’s perfect. I can help. | 完美 我可以帮你 |
| [04:04] | And now that we’re throwing around names, | 既然我们现在在起名字 |
| [04:05] | what do you think about Louniversal Consulting? | 你觉得一年一路咨询怎么样? |
| [04:10] | I’ll leave that to Lou. | 我还是留给路来想吧 |
| [04:12] | I don’t get it. | 我没懂你意思 |
| [04:17] | I like hard tacos, | 我喜欢硬玉米饼 |
| [04:19] | but I can fit more soft tacos in my purse. | 但是软玉米饼在包里能装的更多 |
| [04:23] | What are you guys laughing at? | 你们在笑什么? |
| [04:25] | Is Marvin at it with that stray cat again? | 是不是马文又在处理那个流浪猫? |
| [04:27] | Don’t plant berries if you don’t want mischievous kitties. | 如果你不想招来猫咪 就不要种浆果 |
| [04:30] | It’s opening day for Thanksgiving Turkeys | 今天是杂货店的感恩节火鸡 |
| [04:31] | at the grocery store. | 开放日 |
| [04:32] | It’s already Turkey Tango Time? | 这么快就到火鸡探戈时间了? |
| [04:34] | The holiday season begins when folks come together | 当大家聚在一起 为了肥鸡争得你死我活的时候 |
| [04:36] | and fight to the death over big, frozen birds. | 假日就开始了 |
| [04:39] | It was one of the best years yet. | 今年是最棒的年之一 |
| [04:40] | Tie-Dye Tim brought a lasso. | 扎染店的蒂姆买了一个套索 |
| [04:42] | A lasso! | 套索啊 |
| [04:45] | – I can’t believe this. – Me, neither. | – 难以置信 – 我也是 |
| [04:47] | Tie-Dye Tim told me he wasn’t into rope stuff. | 扎染店的蒂姆告诉我他没有恋绳癖 |
| [04:51] | The boys and I have never missed a Turkey Tango. | 我和孩子们从来没错过火鸡探戈时间 |
| [04:54] | 30 people, 15 turkeys. | 30个人 15只鸡 |
| [04:56] | Something’s gotta give. | 得有人不得不妥协了 |
| [04:57] | Ohh, Carol-Joan and Deidre | 哦 卡萝尔乔和黛德丽 |
| [04:59] | both have their claws in a 20-pounder. | 抢到了同一只20磅的火鸡 |
| [05:01] | C-J, use the other hand to slap. | 卡乔 用另一只手扇她 |
| [05:08] | It is one of my favorite shopping fights of the year. | 这是我最喜欢的购物狂殴之一 |
| [05:11] | It’s like Thunderdome without the dome. | 就像是没有穹顶的竞技场 |
| [05:13] | And with an aisle. | 但是有走廊 |
| [05:15] | Thunderaisle. | 竞技廊 |
| [05:16] | Why wouldn’t they invite me? | 他们为什么不叫我? |
| [05:18] | They are at that age | 他们这个年纪 |
| [05:19] | where you are not interesting to them anymore. | 已经不需要你了 |
| [05:23] | I am also at that age. | 我也在不需要你的年纪 |
| [05:25] | No, that’s not it. | 不 不是这个原因 |
| [05:27] | I’ve just been so busy lately | 我只是最近太忙于 |
| [05:28] | with studying and job applications. | 学习和找工作 |
| [05:31] | They need a reminder that I can be the life of the party. | 他们需要有人提醒一下 我可是聚会的核心人物 |
| [05:34] | I don’t think you know what a party is. | 我觉得你没明白派对的定义 |
| [05:42] | “At the end of the day, children are like silverware. | “一天结束的时候 对待孩子们可如对待银器一般 |
| [05:45] | You don’t have to clean them that well… | 你无需将他们彻底清洁干净 |
| [05:47] | Just get the food off.” | 只需将上面的食物拿掉” |
| [05:48] | Amazing first post. | 首发内容便精妙无比 |
| [05:50] | And sticking your head in the freezer | 而且把头塞进冰箱里 |
| [05:51] | to muffle your screams is a great tip. | 以此来把尖叫声消音真是个好技巧 |
| [05:53] | Because sound doesn’t travel through cold air. | 因为声音在冷空气中难以传播 |
| [05:55] | Publish it. | 发布吧 |
| [05:59] | And we can track how many people are reading | 然后我们就能从计数器上看出 |
| [06:01] | with the view counter. | 有多少人浏览了这广告 |
| [06:03] | One view. | 一个浏览者 |
| [06:04] | Our first view! | 我们的第一个浏览者! |
| [06:05] | Refresh the page. | 刷新一下 |
| [06:06] | – Uh… – Two views. Click again. | – 呃… – 两个浏览者了 再点一下 |
| [06:08] | Three! You’re famous! Oh! | 三个了! 你已经出名了! |
| [06:10] | Wait a second. Wait, I think we’re ticking up | 等会 等等 我觉得是我们在让计数器 |
| [06:12] | the view counter. | 上的数字上涨 |
| [06:13] | – Four, five, six. – Oh. Oh. | – 四 五 六 – 啊哦 好吧 |
| [06:15] | Maybe we should just log off for a while. | 也许我们应该先退出歇会儿 |
| [06:17] | In the meantime, can I run some new company names by you? | 顺便一提 你能帮我看看这几个新的公司名字吗? |
| [06:19] | Or maybe we c… | 又或者我们也许可… |
| [06:21] | Here we go. | 现在就开始 |
| [06:25] | Okay. Oh. | 好了 |
| [06:26] | Sure, it’s long, but there’s something about | 当然了 这名单挺长 但是感觉像 |
| [06:28] | C.S. Louis and the Chronicles of Consulting that feels right. | 咨询路易斯还有咨询大事纪之类的名字不错 |
| [06:33] | I think we’ve waited long enough. | 我觉得我们已经等得够久了 |
| [06:36] | Oh, my God, Louis. | 天哪 路易斯 |
| [06:37] | 100 views?! | 一百个浏览者?! |
| [06:38] | Triple didgies! Honey, you maternal genius! | 三位数了! 亲爱的 你可真是个天才妈咪! |
| [06:41] | This is great! | 这太棒了! |
| [06:42] | Oh, I’m so glad you encouraged me to do this. | 真高兴你当初鼓励我去做这件事 |
| [06:44] | Me too. | 我也很高兴 |
| [06:45] | See, this is why I started | 这就是为什么我要开 |
| [06:46] | Stand and DeLOUver Consulting. | 持立发”路”者咨询公司的原因 |
| [06:48] | Who knew so many people out there | 谁能想到外头会有那么多人 |
| [06:50] | would care about my parenting problems? | 关心我家长的烦恼呢? |
| [06:52] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [06:53] | It’s an untapped market. | 这是个完全没开发过的市场 |
| [06:54] | There were ones you chose not to say? | 这些都是你没打算提出来的? |
| [06:56] | I mean, at least Lou Cheese Dressing is a pun. | 我说 起码广开财”路”还算句双关 |
| [06:59] | So, that one? | 所以就选那个? |
| [07:02] | You fools lace them up? | 你们俩傻子还系鞋带呢? |
| [07:04] | That’s what they want you to do. | 这只是大人对你的要求罢了 |
| [07:05] | Okay! | 好嘞! |
| [07:07] | Who’s ready for some fun? | 谁想来找点乐子? |
| [07:09] | – What’s happening? – Oh, no. The gas leak’s back again. | – 什么事啊? – 惨了 煤气又泄露了吗 |
| [07:12] | I know I’ve been busy lately, | 我知道我最近很忙 |
| [07:13] | so I thought I’d set aside one hour of concentrated fun time | 所以我特地抽了一小时空出来和我的宝贝们 |
| [07:18] | for us to spend together. | 联络联络感情 |
| [07:20] | Say hello… | 来跟… |
| [07:22] | to the Family Fun Activity Wheel! | 全家乐大转盘打个招呼吧! |
| [07:24] | Hello, Wheel! | 你好啊大转盘! |
| [07:25] | See? Fun. | 可有意思了 |
| [07:26] | Is that just a chore wheel | 那不就是个写满了家务活儿 |
| [07:28] | but with “Dusting” crossed out | 只不过把”除尘”划掉 |
| [07:29] | and “Roast Grandma” written in? | 换成了”烤奶奶”进去的大转盘? |
| [07:32] | Oh, we were gonna go to the ribbon cutting ceremony | 我们得去参加那个广场的 |
| [07:34] | for the piazza. | 剪彩仪式 |
| [07:35] | Apparently, “Piazza” Is not “Pizza” In Italian, | 显然 “广场”并不是意大利语中的”披萨” |
| [07:38] | so I still have to learn how to say “Pizza” In Italian. | 所以我还得学学意大利语的”披萨”怎么说 |
| [07:40] | Carol-Joan’s diving into the Italian theme. | 卡罗尔-琼已经完全沉迷在意大利主题里了 |
| [07:42] | Marvin’s gonna teach everyone bocce. | 马文还会教大家玩地滚球 |
| [07:44] | Play on the dirt hill later. | 以后再去土丘上打滚吧 |
| [07:46] | But the ribbon will be cut. | 但是有剪彩啊 |
| [07:47] | Let’s have some quality time together. | 现在让我们一起做点有意义的事儿吧 |
| [07:50] | Have some fun. Spin the wheel. | 玩点有趣的 转一下转盘 |
| [07:52] | Sorry, Ma. Maybe next time. | 对不住 老妈 也许还是下次吧 |
| [07:54] | I hear there’s a moozarelle tasting. | 我听说还有个马苏里拉芝士测评 |
| [07:56] | Mozzarelle! | 马苏里拉! |
| [08:00] | “Spin again”? | “再转一次”? |
| [08:02] | Why is that on there? | 怎么还有这种选项? |
| [08:06] | So, uh, tech support, | 技术人员你好 |
| [08:07] | how do I know which pop-ups are viruses | 我该怎么辨认出哪些弹出窗口是病毒 |
| [08:09] | and which ones really are $100? | 哪些是真的拿得到一百美元? |
| [08:12] | Louis! I have good news! | 路易斯! 我有个好消息告诉你! |
| [08:14] | What’s all this?! | 怎么准备这些东西? |
| [08:15] | “TMI” Just hit 1,000 views. | “妈咪的真实想法”浏览量一千了 |
| [08:17] | Quaddie didgies?! | 四位数了?! |
| [08:19] | We’re in the big leagues, baby! | 我们真是大放异彩啊亲爱的! |
| [08:21] | Honey, that’s incredible! | 亲爱的 这真是太了不起了! |
| [08:22] | Perfect time for me to tell you about my news. | 正好我也能告诉你一个消息 |
| [08:25] | I incorporated “TMI” as a business. | 我已经将”妈咪的真实想法”做成一门生意了 |
| [08:28] | You did? | 真的? |
| [08:29] | And I’m taking you on as my very first client. | 而且你就是我的第一位顾客 |
| [08:32] | Oh, I don’t think you have to… | 我觉得你大可不必… |
| [08:34] | Uh, bup, bup, bup, bup. I know what you’re thinking, | 打住打住 别说啊 千万别 我知道你在想什么 |
| [08:35] | and I refuse to charge you a single cent. | 我是不会跟你收钱的 |
| [08:38] | We’re both real businesses now! | 我们现在可都是货真价实的商人了! |
| [08:40] | We are? | 真的? |
| [08:41] | Unh-unh. | 当然咯 |
| [08:42] | We’re on the clock. | 我们还有很多事要做 |
| [08:44] | Okay, so, first order of business… | 好的 那么 公司要做的第一件事是… |
| [08:46] | Uh, marketing. | 市场营销 |
| [08:49] | Wait. Maybe we should order dinner. | 等等 也许我们该订个晚餐庆祝 |
| [08:50] | It’s 3 in the afternoon. | 现在才下午三点 |
| [08:52] | You didn’t hire me to think in the present. | 你雇我又不是为了眼前着想 |
| [08:54] | You hired me to think ahead. | 而是为了未来做规划 |
| [08:59] | You turned my blog into a business? | 你把我的博客变成了公司业务? |
| [09:01] | But I’m just doing “TMI” for fun. | 但”妈咪的真实想法”只是我写着玩儿的 |
| [09:03] | Well, what’s more fun than a tax-sheltered, | 有什么能比开一家不用交税的 |
| [09:05] | limited liability S-corp? | 有限责任公司有趣呢? |
| [09:06] | As a business, we can reach more parents. | 作为一项公司业务 我们可以接触到更多家长 |
| [09:10] | Wow, you did a lot of unsolicited work. | 哇哦 你还真是自发做了不少准备工作啊 |
| [09:12] | The hard part was sneaking into Evan’s room | 最难的部分也不过就是溜进埃文房间 |
| [09:13] | and stealing his graph paper. | 偷拿一些他的表格图纸罢了 |
| [09:15] | He’s a light sleeper. | 他睡得太浅了 |
| [09:16] | Anyway, | 不管怎么说 |
| [09:17] | I booked your very first major promotional opportunity. | 我为你争取到了第一个非常重要的宣传机会 |
| [09:20] | “Good Morning Orlando.” | “早安奥兰多” |
| [09:22] | What? | 啥? |
| [09:22] | But I’m not TV-ready. | 可我没准备好上电视啊 |
| [09:25] | I forgot what real pants even feel like, | 我都忘了普通的裤子穿起来是什么感觉了 |
| [09:27] | and I lost a Ricola in my hair a week ago. | 而且一周前我还把一个润喉糖落在头发里了 |
| [09:29] | I saw it fall out yesterday. | 我昨天看见它掉出来了 |
| [09:30] | Okay, but, I mean, online, I’m anonymous. | 行吧 但是 在网上 我是匿名的 |
| [09:32] | Exposing myself in real life is scary. | 在现实生活中暴露我的真实身份是很恐怖的 |
| [09:34] | More risk, more reward. | 风险越大收获越大嘛 |
| [09:36] | Starting my own business was terrifying, too, | 我一开始发展公司业务的时候也怕的不行 |
| [09:38] | but I’m finally feeling good about it, | 但最后我也习惯了 |
| [09:40] | especially now that I have my very first client. | 尤其是现在我还有了我重要的第一个客户 |
| [09:43] | Okay, there’s no harm in trying. | 好啦 试一试也没什么坏处 |
| [09:45] | Uh, there is with crystal meth. | 冰毒这样的东西还是不能尝试的 |
| [09:48] | Boys! A grocery store in Sanford just got their turkeys, | 孩子们! 桑福德的一家杂货铺火鸡刚到货 |
| [09:51] | so I thought we’d all go down and… | 所以我觉得我们也应该全下场去… |
| [09:55] | Why are you all dressed like European hobos? | 你们为什么全都穿得像欧洲流浪汉似的? |
| [09:57] | We’re headed out to the piazza. | 我们正要出发去广场 |
| [09:58] | We all caught the bocce bug. | 我们都抓到了地滚球虫 |
| [10:00] | And I caught the toga bug. | 而我抓到的是长袍虫 |
| [10:01] | I’m one safety pin away from nudity, | 只要别针一掉我就全裸了 |
| [10:03] | and I love the thrill. | 这种兴奋的颤栗感我真是爱死了 |
| [10:04] | That fake park thing is still going on? | 那个虚构公园的事还没结束吗? |
| [10:06] | How is that more fun than spending time with your mother? | 那种东西怎么可能比和你们的妈妈一块儿玩有趣? |
| [10:18] | Carol-Joan’s scooping gelato! | 卡罗尔-琼已经在挖冰淇淋了! |
| [10:20] | Prego, boys! | 出发吧伙计们! |
| [10:23] | No, wait. You can’t go. | 不行 等会 你们不能去 |
| [10:25] | – Why? – Because… | – 为什么? – 因为… |
| [10:27] | it’s racist. | 这涉及了种族歧视 |
| [10:28] | Against Italians? | 歧视意大利人吗? |
| [10:29] | I guess it’s a little on the nose. | 我觉得是有点擦边了 |
| [10:31] | No, against us. | 不 歧视我们 |
| [10:33] | An Asian family moves onto the block, | 一户亚洲人家搬到这条街上之后 |
| [10:35] | and suddenly, we need a median to solve our “Driving issues”? | 突然就需要分隔带来解决我们的驾驶问题了? |
| [10:39] | Wake up. | 醒醒吧 |
| [10:41] | Suddenly? | 突然? |
| [10:42] | We moved here six years ago. | 我们六年前就搬过来了 |
| [10:43] | And to be fair, we’ve had our share of driving incidents. | 老实说 我们发生的交通意外已经够多了 |
| [10:55] | Feels like a reach. | 我感觉很牵强 |
| [10:56] | You dilute the movement with stuff like that, Ma. | 妈 我们应该让人们忘记这种事 |
| [10:59] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
| [11:00] | Meatball’s playing “Ave Maria.” | 肉球正在放圣母颂 |
| [11:02] | That’s my jam. | 我的最爱 |
| [11:03] | Ciao bella, mamma mia. | 再见 我美丽的妈妈 |
| [11:05] | Now that’s racist. | 这才是种族歧视 |
| [11:09] | If you want to spend time with them, | 如果你想跟他们待在一起 |
| [11:10] | then just go out there. | 出去就是了 |
| [11:12] | But I want quality time with the boys, | 但是我是想和他们做点有意义的事 |
| [11:14] | not watch Carol-Joan eat gelato and say, | 而不是看着卡罗尔琼吃着冰激凌 然后说 |
| [11:17] | “It’s not as good as it was on holiday.” | “这冰激凌没有节日上的好吃” |
| [11:19] | She was hammered the whole time. | 节日上她全程烂醉 |
| [11:20] | Of course it was good. | 当然吃什么都好吃 |
| [11:22] | You’re trying too hard. | 你用力过猛了 |
| [11:23] | No wonder they prefer the median. | 怪不得他们都去分隔带找乐子了 |
| [11:25] | It smells like grass, not desperation. | 那儿只有草的香气 不会感受到你的绝望 |
| [11:28] | You’re right. | 你说的没错 |
| [11:30] | I must destroy the median. | 我必须毁了这个分隔带 |
| [11:34] | You always take the wrong lesson. | 你总是吸取不到正确的教训 |
| [11:39] | Good morning, Orlando. | 早安 奥兰多 |
| [11:41] | Gus and Mey-Mey back at ya. | 各位早上好 这里是格斯和梅梅 |
| [11:43] | Two seconds in, you’re off-script. | 才两秒你就不按稿子来了 |
| [11:45] | This morning, we have Honey Ellis, | 今天的节目我们请来了蜜儿爱丽丝 |
| [11:47] | the voice of popular parenting Internet blog, “TMI!” | 当红网络育儿博客”妈咪的真实想法”的博主! |
| [11:51] | As a mother myself, I love it. | 作为一个母亲 我太喜欢你的博客了 |
| [11:54] | – Really?! – Oof. | 真的吗?! |
| [11:55] | Oh, that’s wonderful to hear. | 听你这么说我真的太开心了 |
| [11:56] | I thought I was the only one who ignored my kids. | 我一直以为只有我对我的孩子不闻不问 |
| [11:58] | Sometimes, I go days pretending I can’t hear him. | 有时候我一连几天装作听不见他们讲话 |
| [12:02] | Days? | 一连几天? |
| [12:02] | You have a kid? | 你有孩子? |
| [12:03] | So, Honey, now, what would you say | 蜜儿 你认为你的博客 |
| [12:07] | is the secret behind “TMI’s” Success? | 成功的秘诀是什么? |
| [12:10] | Well, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my friend | 如果没有路易斯·黄 我现在也不会在这儿 |
| [12:12] | and business consultant, Louis Huang. | 他是我的朋友兼商业顾问 |
| [12:14] | He’s backstage right now. | 他现在在后台 |
| [12:15] | Oh, he’s right over there. | 看 他就在那儿 |
| [12:18] | Oh. Oh, he’s coming over. | 他过来了 |
| [12:20] | Oh, he mic’d himself. | 连麦克风都戴好了 |
| [12:21] | Uh, hi. Thank you for having me on. | 你们好 感谢邀请我来到现场 |
| [12:23] | You know, I’ve been a business consultant for Honey, | 我是蜜儿的商业顾问 |
| [12:25] | who has an original voice. | 她观点很独到 |
| [12:26] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, | 对对对 |
| [12:27] | that’s… that’s… That’s great. | 这很棒 这很棒 |
| [12:28] | Now, uh, uh, uh, Mey-Mey. | 那个… 梅梅 |
| [12:29] | Uh, how old is this kid that I’ve never heard of? | 这个我从来没听说过的孩子多大了? |
| [12:32] | Uh, 12. | 12岁了 |
| [12:33] | 12. | 12岁了 |
| [12:34] | Now, Honey, back to your blog. | 蜜儿 我们接着聊你的博客 |
| [12:36] | No, back to the kid. | 不不 接着说孩子的事 |
| [12:37] | You and I took a cruise 12 years and 9 months ago, | 十二年零九个月前我们俩乘船出去玩 |
| [12:41] | and then when we got back, | 回来之后 |
| [12:42] | you swore off sushi and took a sabbatical. | 你戒了寿司 还请了假 |
| [12:43] | We’re talking about a blog. | 我们正在说博客的事 |
| [12:45] | No, we’re talking about my son! | 不 这说的是我的儿子啊 |
| [12:46] | We need to go to break. | 我们得进一段广告 |
| [12:48] | Yes, we do need to go to break, | 我们是得进一段广告 |
| [12:49] | but let’s go to break because I’d like to know… | 因为我想知道 |
| [12:52] | what is his name? | 他叫什么名字? |
| [12:53] | I-I-I-Is he… | 他… |
| [12:54] | Hold this, and flash ’em the goods. | 拿着这个 对着镜头展现出你的亮点 |
| [12:56] | Your teeth. | 你的牙齿 |
| [12:57] | There. | 就是这样 |
| [13:00] | According to maritime law, that baby belongs to no one. | 按照海商法 这个孩子不属于任何人 |
| [13:05] | Hey, can you pipe down? | 你能安静点吗? |
| [13:07] | I’m working on an op-ed for the newspaper. | 我正在给报社写一篇专栏 |
| [13:09] | How’s this for a finish? | 这个结尾怎么样? |
| [13:10] | “In summary, leave bocce to the Mafia. | 总之 把草地滚球交给黑手党处理 |
| [13:14] | Take down that median.” | 拆掉分隔带 |
| [13:15] | You are a fool to invoke the mob. | 把黑帮牵扯进来实在是太蠢了 |
| [13:21] | My parakeet said… | 我的长尾鹦鹉说… |
| [13:22] | Can’t you watch that in your room? | 你不能回你房间看吗? |
| [13:23] | I was here first. I’m not moving. | 我先来的 我才不走 |
| [13:26] | Looks like you’re stuck with me. | 看来你只能忍着了 |
| [13:28] | Get there first! | 先去一步! |
| [13:30] | Jenny, you’re one for 1,000 on good ideas. | 珍妮 你总算有一个好点子了 |
| [13:32] | What about the time I attached the vacuum to my wheelchair? | 我把吸尘器绑到轮椅上的那次呢? |
| [13:37] | Two for 1,000. | 好吧 两个好点子 |
| [13:43] | All done with today’s blog post. | 今天的博文写完了 |
| [13:45] | “The 55-Second Rule: | “55秒原则: |
| [13:46] | Why Floor Food is Better for Everyone.” | 为什么掉在地上的食物对大家都有好处” |
| [13:48] | Unless it’s pudding. | 除了布丁 |
| [13:49] | So hard to pick up. | 太难捡了 |
| [13:51] | Wow, you’re really churning these posts out. | 别说 你真是高产啊 |
| [13:53] | I have been so inspired to write since our readership tripled. | 自从我们读者数量翻了三倍之后我就文思泉涌 |
| [13:56] | I’m so glad you convinced me to go on TV. | 幸亏你劝我上了电视 我真是太高兴了 |
| [13:58] | I’m just doing my job. | 这是我该做的 |
| [13:59] | Speaking of, maybe we put a pin in that post | 说到这个 我们要不先把这个帖子搁一边 |
| [14:01] | and instead do a… baby food review. | 来给婴儿食品写一篇评论怎么样? |
| [14:03] | It’ll be easy. You just have to include | 很简单 你只需要 |
| [14:05] | these promotional bullet points. | 用上这些推销的关键词就行 |
| [14:07] | A baby food review? | 婴儿食品评论? |
| [14:10] | They want me to say “Scrumdeeleeumpcious?” | 他们想让我说”超级无敌非常棒”? |
| [14:12] | I would rather scrumdeelee-stick my head in the oven. | 我超级无敌想把头伸到烤箱里去 |
| [14:15] | An oven full of cash. | 装满了钱的烤箱哦 |
| [14:17] | Come on. | 来嘛 |
| [14:18] | The advertising opportunities | 自从你上了电视之后 |
| [14:19] | have been pouring in since your TV segment. | 广告机会可是源源不断啊 |
| [14:21] | Don’t you want to make money? | 你难道不想赚钱吗? |
| [14:23] | Like a real business? | 像门真正的生意一样 |
| [14:24] | Thanks, but I just want to write | 谢了 |
| [14:26] | what I want to write. | 我只想写点自己感兴趣的东西 |
| [14:28] | Hate to be that guy, | 我实在不想说 |
| [14:29] | but Americans don’t know how to make coffee. | 但是美国人真的不懂怎么做咖啡 |
| [14:32] | What coffee did you go with, Eddie? | 你喜欢哪种咖啡 埃迪? |
| [14:33] | It’s an Eddie-chino… | 它叫埃迪奇诺 |
| [14:34] | Melted Rocky Road with a bean at the bottom. | 是融化了的石板街冰淇淋 最下面再放一颗豆子 |
| [14:37] | Ma? | 妈? |
| [14:39] | What are you doing here? | 你在这儿干嘛? |
| [14:40] | I’m getting my work done outdoors. | 在室外工作啊 |
| [14:43] | You know how I love the sun. | 你们知道我喜欢晒太阳 |
| [14:45] | Can you do that somewhere else? | 你能去别的地方晒吗? |
| [14:46] | We’re about to play bocce. | 我们要玩草地滚球 |
| [14:47] | No. I was here first, and I’m not moving. | 不 我先来的 我才不走 |
| [14:53] | Got the bean. | 豆子呛着了 |
| [15:08] | Dear TMI Honey. | 亲爱的”妈咪的真实想法”博主蜜儿 |
| [15:10] | Thanks for the review. | 感谢你的评论 |
| [15:12] | We think you’re scrumdeeleeumpcious, too.” | 我们也觉得你超级无敌非常棒 |
| [15:17] | So, a box popped up | 是这样 一个弹窗跳了出来 |
| [15:19] | offering me a free trip to Cozumel. | 说免费请我去科苏梅尔岛旅行 |
| [15:20] | I clicked on it, and then four more boxes popped up, | 我点了之后又跳出来四个弹窗 |
| [15:23] | so I clicked on those. | 我又把这四个都点了 |
| [15:24] | Now I have no tickets, and my computer’s frozen. | 但是现在我既没拿到票 电脑又死机了 |
| [15:27] | You published that baby food review behind my back! | 你背着我发表了那篇婴儿食品评论! |
| [15:30] | What about my post? | 我的帖子呢? |
| [15:31] | You’re welcome, Honey. | 不用谢 蜜儿 |
| [15:33] | For what? | 为什么要谢你? |
| [15:34] | For making your business a success. | 因为我让你的生意大获成功了啊 |
| [15:36] | That’s why you hired me, right? | 这不就是你雇我的原因吗? |
| [15:38] | I never hired you. | 不是我雇的你 |
| [15:39] | You hired you. | 你自己雇的自己 |
| [15:41] | But now I’m firing you. | 我现在要炒了你 |
| [15:43] | Ohh, so sorry. | 哦 很抱歉 |
| [15:45] | Did you mean to put me on speakerphone? | 你原本就打算把我接在免提上的吗？ |
| [15:47] | I wasn’t sure. | 我不能确定 |
| [15:50] | You’re firing me as your business consultant? | 你要解雇我做你的商业顾问？ |
| [15:53] | – Why? – Because you knew I didn’t want to post | – 为什么？- 因为你知道我不想 |
| [15:55] | that baby food review, and you did it anyway. | 发布婴儿食品评论 但你还是发布了 |
| [15:57] | Well, I saw you were nervous about increasing | 嗯 我看到你对增加的”妈咪的真实想法”市场 |
| [15:59] | “TMI’s” Market share, | 感到很紧张 |
| [16:00] | so I pulled the trigger on that post… | 所以我扣动了发帖的开关 |
| [16:02] | Just like you were nervous about being on TV, | 就像之前你因为要上电视很紧张 |
| [16:04] | and that turned out great. | 但最终的结果很棒 |
| [16:05] | And Gus and Mey-Mey are co-parenting Little Monty. | 而且格斯和梅梅决定共同抚养小蒙蒂 |
| [16:08] | But I didn’t want any of this. | 但这些都不是我想要的 |
| [16:10] | Well, don’t you want this? | 嗯 你不想要这个吗？ |
| [16:11] | Now you can take your mind off | 现在你可以不去想 |
| [16:13] | the diaper budget and focus on “TMI.” | 尿布的预算 并且专注于”妈咪的真实想法”了 |
| [16:15] | Louis, this is my blog, not yours. | 路易斯 这是我的博客 不是你的 |
| [16:18] | Well, I was only doing this to help you. | 我做这些事情只是为了帮助你 |
| [16:20] | Well, I’m only doing this to help you. | 我做这些也是为了你 |
| [16:22] | You were so desperate for a client, | 你太渴望有一个客户了 |
| [16:24] | I just went along with it. | 我就同意了 |
| [16:26] | Clearly that was a mistake. | 这显然是一个错误 |
| [16:31] | Come on, Ma, a-scootchie over. | 得了吧 妈妈 该结束了 |
| [16:33] | Jessica, stop hogging the piazza. | 杰西卡 该停止独占广场了 |
| [16:35] | Yeah, we have bocce finals. | 对啊 我们有草地滚球球决赛 |
| [16:37] | Finals! | 决赛啊！ |
| [16:40] | Well, I guess the, uh, bocce ball tournament | 我猜测草地滚球赛会被推迟 |
| [16:42] | has been postponed, folks, so all bets are off. | 所以所有的赌注都没有了 各位 |
| [16:44] | You can see Meatball here for a refund. | 你可以找肉球来退款 |
| [16:46] | Sorry. | 很抱歉 |
| [16:48] | Excuse me. I have to go. I have to go. | 抱歉 我必须得走了 必须得走了 |
| [16:50] | Now that we have the place to ourselves, | 既然我们能独自占有这个地方了 |
| [16:52] | maybe we can have Family Fun Time out here! | 我们或许可以在这过开心的家庭时间了 |
| [16:54] | We were already having fun. | 我们本来玩得很开心的 |
| [16:55] | Until you showed up and ruined it. | 直到你出现 并毁了它 |
| [16:58] | Not-a cool-a. | 非常不好 |
| [17:03] | Hey, Jessica. | 嘿 杰西卡 |
| [17:04] | Brought you some baby food. | 给你带了一些婴儿食物 |
| [17:06] | Thought you might be hungry but not want to chew. | 我觉得你可能饿了 但不想咀嚼 |
| [17:12] | This baby food really is scrumdeeleeumpcious. | 这个婴儿食物还真是超级无敌非常棒 |
| [17:16] | I don’t get Honey. | 我不懂蜜儿 |
| [17:17] | I help her turn “TMI” Into a real business, | 我帮她把”妈咪的真实想法”变成了一个真正的生意 |
| [17:19] | and then she fires me. | 然后她就解雇了我 |
| [17:20] | That’s just Honey. | 那可是蜜儿啊 |
| [17:22] | Some people are born for business, | 有些人注定要做生意 |
| [17:23] | and other people were born | 有些人就注定 |
| [17:24] | with skin that smells like fruit. | 会拥有闻起来像水果一样的皮肤 |
| [17:26] | It doesn’t add up. | 真是不能理解 |
| [17:27] | She was actually starting to make money. | 她真的有开始盈利了 |
| [17:28] | I know what this is. | 我知道是怎么回事 |
| [17:30] | The problem with Honey is she has TMI… | 问题就在于蜜儿有太多”妈咪的真实想法” |
| [17:33] | Too Much Integrity. | 太过正直 |
| [17:35] | She’s never in it for the money. | 她做那事从来都不是为了盈利 |
| [17:37] | Our boys also have a TMI problem… | 我们的孩子们也有”妈咪的真实想法”的问题 |
| [17:40] | Too Many Interests, | 太多的爱好 |
| [17:42] | – and none of them are me. – Oh, what do you mean? | – 而且他们没有一个像我的 – 什么意思啊？ |
| [17:44] | All they want to do is play bocce on this dumb piazza | 他们一心只想在这蠢地方玩草地滚球 |
| [17:47] | instead of spending time with me. | 而不是多花一些时间和我待在一起 |
| [17:48] | But I’ve been so busy lately, I never get to see them. | 但是最近我太忙了 都没时间见到他们 |
| [17:51] | If you want to spend time with them, | 如果你想和他们多相处的话 |
| [17:52] | do what interests them, | 做一些他们感兴趣的事情 |
| [17:53] | even if it happens to be something | 即使是一些 |
| [17:55] | you’ve taken an arbitrary stance against. | 你持反对观点的事情 |
| [18:01] | No one wants to eat a mashed-up Thanksgiving meal. | 没人想吃捣碎的感恩节大餐 |
| [18:06] | I do. | 我就想吃 |
| [18:11] | You know, when you think about it, | 你知道吗 当你认真思考 |
| [18:13] | bocce is just adult marbles. | 草地滚球就像是成人弹珠一样 |
| [18:16] | I made you a lasagna to make up for ruining dumb bowling. | 我给你们做了千层面条来弥补我毁了愚蠢的保龄球游戏 |
| [18:20] | I’m not eating carbs this week. | 我这周不吃碳水化合物 |
| [18:23] | It’s still frozen. | 这还是冻着的 |
| [18:24] | Apparently it takes an hour to bake, | 显然这需要一小时的时间来烘焙 |
| [18:26] | and I didn’t need that much time to reflect. | 而我不需要那么多时间来表达我的歉意 |
| [18:29] | Between studying and the job hunt, | 最近被学习和找工作包围了 |
| [18:31] | I’ve missed you guys. | 我很想念你们几个 |
| [18:33] | Us too. | 我们也是 |
| [18:34] | It’s just weird when you were jogging around, | 只是在你你慢跑的时候 |
| [18:36] | making us spin a wheel. | 让我们转动轮子很奇怪 |
| [18:37] | It’s forced. | 太勉强了 |
| [18:38] | Like when MTV tried to make voting cool. | 就像音乐电视频道想要把投票变得很平静一样 |
| [18:40] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [18:41] | I just wanted you all to myself. | 我只想让你们都属于我 |
| [18:43] | But as long as we’re together, I am happy. | 但是只要我们能在一起 我就很开心了 |
| [18:45] | Even if Carol-Joan’s hitting the old grapes. | 即使卡罗尔琼在撞击老葡萄 |
| [18:48] | You know, Mommy, you’d love bocce. | 你知道吗 妈妈 你会喜欢上地滚球的 |
| [18:49] | It means “Boss” In Latin. | 在拉丁语里面 这是“老板”的意思 |
| [18:51] | Yeah, it’s perfect for you… | 对 这很适合你 |
| [18:52] | Precision, competition, violence. | 精准 竞争 暴力 |
| [18:55] | You wanna come play with us? | 你想和我们一起玩吗？ |
| [18:56] | I do love violence. | 我确实很喜欢暴力 |
| [19:07] | Hey, Honey. I was, uh, wondering | 嘿 蜜儿 我在想 |
| [19:09] | if I could use your computer. | 我能否用一下你的电脑 |
| [19:10] | And give it a virus? | 给它带点病毒吗？ |
| [19:12] | No, thanks. | 不了 谢谢 |
| [19:13] | I think I’ve had enough consulting. | 我觉得我已经有够多的建议了 |
| [19:15] | I want to show you the latest “TMI” Post. | 我想要给你看看最新的”妈咪的真实想法”帖子 |
| [19:22] | You took down the review and posted | 你撤掉了商品评论而且发布了 |
| [19:23] | my “55-Second Rule” Piece instead? | 我的”55秒规则”? |
| [19:26] | I was wrong to sell out your blog. | 我不该出卖你的博客 |
| [19:27] | That’s not you. | 那不是你 |
| [19:29] | I know you just wanted to help. | 我知道你只是想要帮我 |
| [19:31] | I got so caught up trying to prove I could be successful, | 我为了证明自己能成功而忙得不可开交 |
| [19:33] | I forgot the job is supporting someone else and their dreams. | 我忘了工作是支持别人和他们的梦想 |
| [19:36] | Thanks, Louis. | 谢谢你 路易斯 |
| [19:37] | You are great at what you do. | 你很擅长你的工作 |
| [19:39] | I know you are gonna make | 我知道有一天 |
| [19:41] | a small-business owner so happy one day. | 你会让一个小企业的拥有者开心的 |
| [19:43] | Well, you’ve gotta keep blogging. | 你该继续发帖 |
| [19:44] | It’s so good, and you’ve got such a relatable voice. | 真的很棒 而且你的嗓音很有亲和力 |
| [19:46] | Oh, yeah, I’m not stopping. | 是的 我不会停止的 |
| [19:48] | I’ve got so many ideas. | 我已经有了很多想法了 |
| [19:50] | The other day, I wore a diaper, and it was magical. | 前几天 我穿了一个尿布 真的很神奇 |
| [19:54] | Yeah. Yeah, yeah! | 哦哦 那很棒啊！ |
| [19:57] | Ooh. Guess what? | 哦 你猜怎么了？ |
| [19:58] | I finally thought of a good company name… | 我最终想到了一个很棒的公司名字 |
| [20:00] | All About Lou Consulting. | 一切有路咨询 |
| [20:02] | Yeah. Yeah, yeah! | 哦哦 那很棒啊！ |
| [20:05] | Or what about just Louis Huang Consulting? | 或者可以试试路易斯·黄咨询公司 |
| [20:11] | Wow. | 哇 |
| [20:22] | Are you not entertained?! | 你不开心吗？！ |
| [20:23] | And that’s game. | 这就是游戏 |
| [20:24] | Jessica wins! | 杰西卡赢了！ |
| [20:25] | You killed it, Ma! | 你无敌了 妈妈！ |
| [20:29] | Clear out, people! This median was constructed | 快散了 大家！这个分隔带的建造是 |
| [20:32] | without a permit. | 没有许可证的 |
| [20:33] | Bulldozers are on their way. | 推土机就要来了 |
| [20:35] | What?! Who snitched? | 什么？！谁告的密？ |
| [20:37] | There was an anonymous op-ed in the newspaper. | 报纸上有一篇匿名评论文章 |
| [20:39] | I bet it was Carol-Joan. | 我打赌是卡罗尔·琼 |
| [20:42] | No, it wasn’t me. | 不 不是我 |
| [20:43] | Well, it was good while it lasted. | 好吧 至少它存在的时候很棒 |
| [20:44] | Arrivederci, bocce. | 再会了 地滚球 |
| [20:46] | No way. Let’s continue this thing in our backyard. | 不可能 让我们在后院继续玩地滚球 |
| [20:50] | Sorry, Huang family only. | 对不起 仅限老黄家的人 |
| [20:52] | Boys, grab the gelato cart. Let’s go. | 孩子们 带上冰淇淋车 我们走吧 |
| [20:55] | Bring on the bulldozer. | 开动推土机吧 |
| [20:57] | Jim, bring in the bulls. | 吉姆 把推土机带来吧 |