| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:08] | Mmm! | |
| [00:09] | Really, Dad? Another burger? | 不是吧，老爸？又吃汉堡？ |
| [00:10] | Whoa! | |
| [00:12] | You gonna take that from your own kid, Lou? | 儿子敢笑老爸？快回嘴，嘲笑他的手 |
| [00:14] | Come on, fight back. Make fun of his hands. | |
| [00:16] | No, we’ve just been eating a lot of burgers together lately. | 这是因为我们最近很常一起吃汉堡 |
| [00:19] | We formed a club, the Burger Boys. | 还组了汉堡男孩俱乐部 |
| [00:20] | Whenever a place has the balls to advertise | 若有餐厅敢号称”奥兰多最棒汉堡” |
| [00:22] | the “Best Burger in Orlando,” | |
| [00:24] | it’s the Burger Boys’ job to put it to the test. | 汉堡男孩就有责任去验证 |
| [00:26] | It’s been a really fun way to hang out with two of my sons. | 这是能愉快跟两个儿子一起玩的方式 |
| [00:29] | Food is just brain-fuel. | 食物不过是为大脑提供养分 |
| [00:31] | My girlfriend Sicily makes nutrition bars | 我女友西西莉会做营养棒 |
| [00:33] | so we can focus on what matters… | 我们才能专注于更重要的事 |
| [00:34] | Science and holding hands. | 科学和牵手 |
| [00:36] | You touch her knee yet? | -你碰过她的膝盖了吗？-闭嘴 |
| [00:37] | Shut up! | -你碰过她的膝盖了吗？-闭嘴 |
| [00:38] | Almost. | 几乎碰到了 |
| [00:40] | Thank you for scheduling this dinner so late. | 谢谢你把晚餐安排得这幺晚 |
| [00:42] | I can’t get out of the house while Maria’s awake anymore. | 玛丽亚醒着的时候我都离不开家 |
| [00:44] | Sure you can. Use the door. | 当然可以，开门就能走 |
| [00:47] | No, she is just so clingy, | 不行，她超黏人，我一走她就闹脾气 |
| [00:49] | she has a tantrum whenever I leave the room. | |
| [00:51] | Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! | -妈咪… |
| [00:52] | It’s okay, sweetie! Mommy’s right here! | -没事，妈咪在这里，好吗？ |
| [00:55] | She has a shy bladder, though, | 你一直叫妈妈尿不出来，会搞更久 |
| [00:57] | so the more you scream, the longer this’ll take. | |
| [00:59] | Mommy, where are you? | 妈咪，你在哪里？ |
| [01:02] | Honey, you have to start ignoring her. | 哈妮，你得开始冷落她 |
| [01:04] | Teach her that she doesn’t get attention by yelling. | 让她知道靠吼叫是无法得到注意力的 |
| [01:07] | She only gets it through hard work and academic achievement. | 唯有靠努力学习和学业表现 |
| [01:09] | That worked with your boys? | 那对你儿子有用？冷落他们就成了？ |
| [01:10] | You ignored them and that fixed it? | |
| [01:12] | Oh, they never needed it. | 不需要，他们很独立，特别是现在 |
| [01:13] | They’re so independent, especially now. | |
| [01:16] | In fact, it’s freed me up for… | 事实上，那让我有时间去… |
| [01:20] | Hey! Eyes on me! | 眼睛看过来 |
| [01:23] | I am pleased to announce that I will finally | 我很荣幸宣布 |
| [01:25] | be recording an audiobook of my under-appreciated novel, | 我终于要录我无人赏识的小说 |
| [01:29] | “A Case of a Knife to the Brain.” | ”脑上一把刀骇人事件”有声书 |
| [01:32] | I’ll be doing an R-rated version and an X-rated version. | 我会录限制级和成人级两个版本 |
| [01:35] | Ooh! | |
| [01:36] | You should’ve said all ea on you. | 你该说耳朵听过来，毕竟是有声书 |
| [01:38] | It’s an audiobook. | 1995年，华盛顿特区 |
| [01:45] | ♪ Fresh off the boat | 初来乍到 |
| [01:46] | ♪ I’m gettin’ mine everywhere I go ♪ | 所到之处都能如我所愿 |
| [01:48] | ♪ If you don’t know, homey, now you know ♪ | 若你不知道，现在绝对了解 |
| [01:50] | ♪ Fresh off the boat | 欢迎来到奥兰多 初来乍到 |
| [01:52] | ♪ Homey, you don’t know where I come from ♪ | 初来乍到 老兄，不知道我来自何方 |
| [01:54] | ♪ But I know where I’m goin’ | 不过我有明确的方向 |
| [01:55] | ♪ I’m fresh off the boat | 菜鸟新移民 |
| [02:00] | “As Jennifer Hong got up to the bazooka factory rafters, | “当珍妮佛洪走上火箭筒工厂顶楼” |
| [02:03] | she saw a door. | “她看见一扇门” |
| [02:04] | Her elegant fingers grasped the knob, turned the knob, | “优雅的手指抓住门把，转动拉开” |
| [02:08] | and pulled the knob…” | |
| [02:10] | Ooh! Sorry, are you recording? | -抱歉，你在录音 |
| [02:12] | Hi. | -你好 |
| [02:14] | Honey, why is there a child on your leg? | 哈妮，为何有孩子巴着你的腿？ |
| [02:16] | I gave you perfect advice. She should be obedient by now. | 我给了你完美建议，她现在该很服从 |
| [02:19] | Actually, your advice worked too well. | 建议太奏效 |
| [02:21] | Oh, yes. My curse. | 那是我的宿命 |
| [02:23] | I ignored her, and she calmed down, | 我冷落她，她冷静下来 |
| [02:24] | but then I started to miss | 然后我开始想念她的纠缠和热情 |
| [02:26] | all that clinginess and affection. | |
| [02:28] | Oh, yes. Your curse. | 对，那是你的宿命 |
| [02:30] | I guess, but right now, she’s my precious little girl. | 对，但现在她是我的小宝贝 |
| [02:33] | Don’t you miss when your boys were this young? | 你不想念儿子宝宝时期？ |
| [02:35] | No. | 不想 |
| [02:37] | I put in the work, | 不想 |
| [02:38] | and I taught them to study hard, feed themselves, | 我尽责地教他们努力念书，自己吃饭 |
| [02:41] | so now I can focus on my own life again. | 现在终于能再度专注于自己的生活 |
| [02:43] | Speaking of which… | 说到这个 |
| [02:46] | “And as the bazooka factory rafter door creaked open…” | “随着火箭筒工厂大门打开…” |
| [02:52] | Wow, your door impression is incredible. | -你的开门音效好真实 |
| [02:55] | That wasn’t me. I can only do doors closing. | -还不够好 |
| [02:57] | I haven’t mastered doors opening yet. | 我只会做关门音效，开门还没练好 |
| [03:00] | Evan. What’s wrong? | -艾文，怎幺了？-我被分手了 |
| [03:02] | Sicily broke up with me. | |
| [03:04] | Oh, my precious little boy! | 我可怜的小宝贝，过来，没事的 |
| [03:06] | Come here! It’s okay! | |
| [03:08] | I told you it’s hard to ignore your children. | 我就说，很难无视自己的孩子 |
| [03:10] | This is totally different. | 这完全不同 |
| [03:12] | This isn’t a baby crying for more milk. | 这不是孩子吵着要喝奶 |
| [03:14] | This is a beautiful young man, | 而是俊美男孩惨遭邪恶丑巫婆背叛 |
| [03:16] | who has been betrayed by an evil, ugly witch. | |
| [03:21] | Okay. Come on, Maria. | 好吧，走了，玛丽亚 |
| [03:23] | Bye. | 再见，二位 路易士黄牛仔牧场牛排屋 |
| [03:27] | I’m telling you, turducken is not Thanksgiving-exclusive. | 我告诉你，火鸭鸡不仅能在感恩节卖 |
| [03:31] | We could do it year-round. | 整年都能卖 |
| [03:33] | And I’m telling you… I see “turd” on a restaurant menu? | 我也告诉你，在菜单上若有怪东西 |
| [03:35] | I’m eating somewhere else. | 我就会闪人 |
| [03:37] | We’ve got another one, boys! | 又找到一家，男士们 |
| [03:38] | Looks like Burger Barrel thinks they have | 汉堡桶自称是”奥兰多最棒汉堡” |
| [03:40] | the “Best Burger in Orlando.” | |
| [03:41] | Those suckers don’t know what they’re in for. | 那些浑球不知道自己惹来什幺麻烦 |
| [03:43] | You mean when you buy their food and talk about it? | 你们不就是去吃饭兼评论吗？ |
| [03:45] | Trent, just… Okay? | 川特，配合一下 |
| [03:47] | Hey, boss, think I could get in on the action this time? | -行吗？-老板 这次可以让我一起出动吗？ |
| [03:49] | Oh, sorry, Chestnut, | 抱歉，查斯纳，这是黄家家族活动 |
| [03:51] | but this is more of a Huang-boys-only thing. | |
| [03:53] | Alright. Yeah. | 好吧，我猜你得先领养我 |
| [03:55] | I guess you would have to adopt me. | |
| [03:56] | Which would be crazy, right? | 那有点太疯狂了，对吧？对吗？ |
| [03:58] | Right? | |
| [04:00] | Whoa, no bacon bits? | |
| [04:03] | I get it, saving space for the beef. | 没加培根脆块？ |
| [04:04] | Smart. | 我懂了，好留更多胃吃牛肉，聪明 |
| [04:06] | I could learn from you. | 我该跟你学习 |
| [04:07] | Well, actually… | 我该跟你学习 其实… |
| [04:12] | Look, I wasn’t sure how to say this before, | 我之前不知道怎幺开口 |
| [04:14] | but I was watching PBS, and there was this documentary | 但我看了公共电视的纪录片 |
| [04:17] | called “Fatal Farming.” | “致命养殖业” |
| [04:18] | Long story short… | “致命养殖业” |
| [04:19] | God, why is this so hard? | 长话短说 老天，为什幺这幺难？ |
| [04:22] | The thing is… | 事实是 |
| [04:24] | I’m vegan now. | 我现在是纯素者了 |
| [04:28] | A vegan? | 纯素者？ |
| [04:29] | No. | 纯素者？ 不 |
| [04:30] | No boss’s son of mine is gonna be a stinkin’ vegan! | 不 不，我老板的儿子才不能是臭纯素者 |
| [04:36] | Here I am, ready to give my left chestnut | 我本来愿不顾一切成为汉堡男孩 |
| [04:37] | to be a Burger Boy, | |
| [04:38] | and you’re gonna give a spot to this little… | 而你却把名额留给草食者？真恶心 |
| [04:40] | leaf-muncher?! | |
| [04:41] | It’s disgusting! | |
| [04:42] | Whoa, you need to cool down! Oh, I need to cool down! | -你得冷静点 -太扯了 |
| [04:46] | I’m sorry, boss. | 抱歉，没人认为会发生在自己身上 |
| [04:47] | You never think it’ll be your kid. | |
| [04:48] | Sorry, just playing catch-up here, | 抱歉，我在努力跟上 |
| [04:50] | but what’s a vegan? | 纯素者是什幺？ |
| [04:51] | It’s like a vegetarian, except you don’t eat | 像素食者，但不能食用任何动物产品 |
| [04:53] | any animal products, not just meat. | |
| [04:55] | So no dairy, no eggs… | 像蛋，奶类 |
| [04:57] | Wait, what about candy? Can you still eat candy? | 等等，那糖果呢？ |
| [04:59] | Guys, this doesn’t have to be a whole thing. | 你还能吃糖果吗？ 各位，这不必成为我们的阻碍 |
| [05:02] | I don’t need to eat burgers to be a Burger Boy. | 就算不吃汉堡也能是汉堡男孩 |
| [05:04] | It’ll still be fun to hang out. | 一起出去还是很好玩 |
| [05:05] | Emery’s right. | 艾默利说得对，一切照旧 |
| [05:07] | Nothing has to change. I’m sure it’ll all be fine. | 我相信没事的 |
| [05:09] | Yeah, you’re probably right. | 对，你大概是对的 |
| [05:10] | It’ll be totally fine, | 没事的，就像我姊蒂芬妮戒酒时那样 |
| [05:11] | like when my sister Tiffany stopped drinking. Huh. I didn’t know you had a sister named Tiffany. | 我不知道你有个叫蒂芬妮的姊姊 |
| [05:16] | We don’t talk about her because she stopped being fun. | 因为她不再有趣，所以我们不提起她 |
| [05:23] | Do we have any Gatorade? | 洞 我们有运动饮料吗？ |
| [05:26] | My new boyfriend’s a lot of fun. | 我的新男友很好玩 |
| [05:28] | No, and keep it down. | 没有，小声点，艾文很心碎，要睡觉 |
| [05:30] | Evan’s had a tough day, and he’s trying to sleep. | |
| [05:33] | You’re giving Evan too much attention. | 你太关注艾文了 |
| [05:35] | What about the advice you gave blondie? | 忘记你给金发妞的建议了吗？ |
| [05:38] | Jenny, you eavesdrop too much. | 珍妮，你太爱偷听，有天会惹祸上身 |
| [05:40] | One day, it’s gonna come back and bite you. | |
| [05:41] | The last thing that tried to bite me | 最后上我身的现在正在车库里等我 |
| [05:43] | is waiting in the garage. | |
| [05:45] | Maria is a toddler, Evan is a teenager. | 玛丽亚是幼童，艾文是青少年 |
| [05:48] | It’s different. Give him a day. | 这很不同，给他一天，明天就正常了 |
| [05:49] | Tomorrow he’ll be back to normal. | |
| [05:51] | I got to get back. | 我得赶快回去 |
| [05:52] | And don’t come in no matter how much I yell “help.” | 不管我再怎幺喊”救命”都别进来 |
| [05:58] | Mommy, I had a bad dream. | -妈咪，我做恶梦 |
| [05:59] | Oh, it was just your grandmother. | -那只是奶奶罢了 |
| [06:01] | Shh. Uh… sorry. | 汉堡桶 |
| [06:08] | Are you sure this is okay? | 抱歉，这样真的可以？不会太奇怪？ |
| [06:09] | Not too weird? | |
| [06:10] | Not at all. | 不会 |
| [06:12] | I’m loaded on vitamin B12 with all these fresh vegetables. | 蔬菜让我摄取到很多维生素B12 |
| [06:14] | I’m in a great mood. | 所以我心情超嗨 |
| [06:16] | Is it just me, | |
| [06:17] | or is tofu at a burger joint a real bummer? | 是我多心，还是在汉堡店吃豆腐超瞎 |
| [06:19] | It’s like a cat at a dog show. Disrespectful. | 这就像带猫逛狗展，很没品 |
| [06:23] | Two Double-Barrel Burgers for you. | 双桶汉堡是你们的 |
| [06:26] | And a seltzer for the boy who brought in outside food. | 还有气泡水，给携带外食的男孩 |
| [06:31] | Thanks. Well… | 谢谢 |
| [06:37] | Oh. We finally found the one burger the Hamburglar wouldn’t steal. | 终于找到连汉堡神偷都不会偷的汉堡 |
| [06:48] | You can tell these were frozen. | 吃得出来这些是冷冻汉堡排 |
| [06:50] | Burrrr-ger. | |
| [06:51] | Boom! Got ’em! | 抓到了 |
| [06:54] | Umm… Are you sure you don’t want to try it? | 你确定你不想尝尝？ |
| [06:58] | So you can see how bad it is? One bite won’t kill you. | 这样才知道有多难吃？一口又不会死 |
| [07:00] | First of all, you don’t know that. What if I choke? | 首先，你怎幺知道？要是我噎到呢 |
| [07:02] | Second, I’m serious about my veganism, Dad. | 第二，我很认真看待吃素 |
| [07:04] | But you two should enjoy. | 但你们慢用 |
| [07:07] | You know, maybe we just call it. | 我看我们还是放弃闪人吧 |
| [07:09] | There’s something about this place | 这个地方不如我想像中好玩 |
| [07:10] | that isn’t as fun as I thought. | 这个地方不如我想像中好玩 |
| [07:11] | Oh, that reminds me. | 这让我想到 |
| [07:13] | There’s this vegan restaurant, Cafe Fiona, that says | 有家纯素餐厅叫费欧娜 |
| [07:15] | they have the Best Veggie Burger in Orlando. | 号称有奥兰多最棒的素食汉堡 |
| [07:17] | Whaddaya say we put ’em in their place, huh? | 不如我们去评鉴一下？ |
| [07:20] | Oh, wow, yeah. Cool. Can’t wait. | -好的 -哦，嗯，是的 |
| [07:22] | You’re not gonna like the price, | 价钱很贵，但用豆类制作汉堡排 |
| [07:24] | but that’s what it costs to make a patty out of beans. | 价钱很贵，但用豆类制作汉堡排 |
| [07:26] | And bun out of beans. | 豆类制作汉堡包和乳酪就是这幺昂贵 |
| [07:27] | And cheese out of beans. | 豆类制作汉堡包和乳酪就是这幺昂贵 |
| [07:29] | And the parking’s valet-only. | 而且只能代客泊车 |
| [07:34] | Soothes the vocal cords… | “润滑声带并促进生育” |
| [07:36] | and boosts fertility? | |
| [07:38] | Just do one thing well. | 做好一件事就行 |
| [07:40] | Oh, you’re looking refreshed, how are you feeling? | 你看来很有精神，感觉如何？ |
| [07:43] | Better. | 好多了 |
| [07:45] | Spending time with you always makes me feel better, Mommy. | 有你陪总会让我好起来，妈咪 |
| [07:47] | Great. That’s solved. | 很好，问题解决了 |
| [07:50] | My cords are soothed. It’s time. | 我的声带润滑了，该上工了 |
| [08:00] | What’s happening? What… What is this? | 发生什幺事？你这是干嘛？ |
| [08:02] | Spending yesterday together felt so good, I thought, why not do it again? | 昨天有你陪感觉很好，不如再来一次 |
| [08:05] | Oh. Another day of that. Hm. Okay, I guess you can observe my process. | 要再来一天 |
| [08:11] | Hm. | 好吧，你可以观察我工作 |
| [08:29] | Out you go. You’re gonna miss the bus. Are you gonna be waiting here when I get home? | 快出门，不然会错过校车 -我回家时你会在吗？-我保证 |
| [08:32] | I promise. Which room? | -哪个房间？-门要关上了 |
| [08:33] | Uhp, the door’s closing. | -哪个房间？-门要关上了 |
| [08:38] | Jessica, you were right… | 洁西卡，你说得对，关门音效太像了 |
| [08:39] | You make a perfect door-closing sound. | |
| [08:41] | I can make the perfect ass-kissing sound. | 我的亲屁股音效也很完美 |
| [08:45] | Evan is more clingy than ever. | 艾文比以往更黏人了 |
| [08:47] | I thought I raised him to be the perfect machine. | 我还以为养成了完美机器 |
| [08:49] | But I didn’t account for one thing… love. | 没想到爱情会改变他 |
| [08:52] | Now he’s turned on his creator. | 现在他转而对付自己的造物主 |
| [08:54] | Like the “Terminator.” | 就像魔鬼终结者 |
| [08:55] | I need a plan. | 我需要计画，如何修复刚被甩的人？ |
| [08:57] | How do you fix someone who’s just been dumped? | |
| [08:59] | I really wish I could help, | 我帮不上忙，但我从来没心碎过 |
| [09:01] | but I’ve actually never had my heart broken. | |
| [09:03] | My nicknames in high school were “Honey the Heartbreaker” | 我高中时的绰号是”少男杀手” |
| [09:05] | and another I just realized I shouldn’t tell you guys. | 另外一个绰号我顿悟到不该告诉你们 |
| [09:07] | I’ve never had my heart broken either. | 我的心也没被打碎过 |
| [09:10] | One guy tried, but he woke up the next morning | 有人试过，隔天醒来时在波多马克河 |
| [09:12] | with his mattress floating down the Potomac. | |
| [09:14] | Embarrassing for a senator. | 对参议员来说真的很丢脸 |
| [09:15] | I always do the dumping. | 每次都是我甩人，今年就甩了14个 |
| [09:17] | I’ve dumped 14 boyfriends this year. | |
| [09:19] | Hey, babe. | 宝贝 |
| [09:22] | You wanted to talk? | 你想跟我谈话？ |
| [09:24] | Time to make it 15. | 现在要变成15个了，我们去车库谈 |
| [09:26] | Let’s do this in the garage. | |
| [09:28] | Hmm? | |
| [09:29] | Okay. The garage. | 好，去车库 |
| [09:33] | That’s it. | 就是这样 |
| [09:35] | I just need to talk to some duds who’ve been dumped. | 我只需要跟被甩过的男人聊聊 |
| [09:38] | Did Jenny get a nurse? | 那是珍妮的护理师吗？ |
| [09:41] | What just happened? | 发生什幺事了？ |
| [09:42] | Dud. | 小狼狗 |
| [09:45] | ♪ Send me on my way | 费欧娜餐厅 |
| [09:46] | ♪ On my way | 费欧娜餐厅 |
| [09:47] | ♪ Send me on my way | 送我上路 |
| [09:48] | ♪ On my way | 送我上路 |
| [09:48] | ♪ Send me on my way | 送我上路 |
| [09:50] | ♪ On my way | 送我上路 |
| [09:51] | ♪ Send me on my way | 送我上路 |
| [09:52] | ♪ On my way | |
| [09:53] | ♪ Send me on my way | 送我上路 |
| [09:54] | A lot of hemp on these vegans. | 送我上路 这些纯素者都很爱呼麻 |
| [09:55] | Number 50! Your food’s sprouted! | -50号，食物发芽了 |
| [09:57] | That’s us! | -那是我们 |
| [09:59] | 50? | 50号？还有49桌点了这些垃圾？ |
| [10:00] | You mean 49 other people ordered this crap? | 50号？还有49桌点了这些垃圾？ |
| [10:02] | I can’t believe we’re stuck here | 不敢相信我们在这 |
| [10:04] | instead of trying Leroy’s Burger Town. | 没去李洛伊汉堡城 |
| [10:05] | Did you see their ad? | -有看到他们的广告吗？-我有 |
| [10:07] | I did. Scrambled eggs in a burger patty? Sounds terrible, but also maybe amazing? | 炒蛋肉排听来恶心又美味 |
| [10:11] | Who knows? | 不过谁知道呢？ |
| [10:12] | Not us. | 不过谁知道呢？ 不是我们 |
| [10:14] | But we can’t eat that around Emery. It’s too weird. | 我们无法在艾默利面前吃，那太怪了 |
| [10:17] | Look, it’ll all be fine. He’s probably just going through a phase. | 一切都会没事，他大概只是在叛逆期 |
| [10:20] | You know how he’s been. | -你也知道他的近况 -先生们，准备好 |
| [10:21] | Gentlemen, ready your wit. | -你也知道他的近况 -先生们，准备好 |
| [10:23] | The “Best Veggie Burger in Orlando” is served! | 奥兰多最棒的素食汉堡上桌了 |
| [10:26] | Wait, it’s just veggie stuff? | 等等，全部都是菜？不是菜肉混合？ |
| [10:28] | Not like, a veggie/beef mix? Wait, I have my shoe bologna! | 等等，我有私藏烟熏火腿在鞋里 |
| [10:32] | Oh, damn it. I ate it in the car. | 可恶，我在车上时吃掉了 |
| [10:40] | Ugh! This tastes like cardboard | |
| [10:42] | that was left out in the rain. | 吃起来像被雨淋湿的厚纸板 |
| [10:43] | There’s definitely dirt in here. | 这里面有混泥土，或许还是故意的 |
| [10:45] | And it might be on purpose. | |
| [10:48] | What if this isn’t a phase? | 若这不是叛逆期呢？ |
| [10:51] | You can really taste the chickpea husks. | 真的能吃到鹰嘴豆荚，感谢大地之母 |
| [10:54] | Thank you, Mother Earth, right? | |
| [10:58] | Welcome, heartbroken flops. | 路易士黄牛仔牧场牛排屋 |
| [11:00] | Thank you for meeting with me here today. | 欢迎各位伤心人士，谢谢大家来见我 |
| [11:01] | Yeah. Sure thing. Always a pleasure. Sup. | -没问题 -当然 |
| [11:04] | You’re all here because you’ve been dumped before… | 你们来次是因为你们曾经被甩 |
| [11:06] | Some, I’m assuming, more than others. | -几位可能被甩过较多次 |
| [11:07] | Guilty! | -不好意思喔 |
| [11:09] | But you’ve all managed to bounce back | 但你们复原，并成为还算有用的成人 |
| [11:11] | and become mostly functioning adults. | |
| [11:14] | How? | 怎幺做到的？马文？ |
| [11:15] | Marvin? | 怎幺做到的？马文？ |
| [11:16] | Oh, well, I just rebounded | 我跟随我爸建议，”往南搬吃嫩草” |
| [11:18] | the way my father taught me… | |
| [11:20] | Move south and date younger. | |
| [11:21] | My high-school sweetheart was a 50-year-old in Maine. | 我的高中女友50岁，住在缅因州 |
| [11:24] | “Marvin… useless.” | 马文… 无参考价值 |
| [11:27] | Never thought these words would come out of my mouth, | 没想过我会这样说 |
| [11:29] | but, Matthew Chestnut, please speak. | 但马修查斯纳请发言 |
| [11:31] | Well, uh, let me tell ya… | 我告诉你，我跟伤心夫人很有渊源 |
| [11:33] | Me and Madam Heartbreak go way, way back. | |
| [11:36] | I hate you. | 我恨你 |
| [11:38] | But every time she does pay me a visit, | 我恨你 |
| [11:40] | I just crack open a bottle of whiskey, | 但每次她来访，我会打开一瓶威士忌 |
| [11:41] | put on an old Western, | 放老西部片，让泪流干到像沙漠的沙 |
| [11:43] | and weep until my eyes are as dry as the desert sands. | |
| [11:47] | Spoken like a man who’s never been to the desert. | 用听的就知道你没去过沙漠 |
| [11:50] | Y’know, it’s truly amazing how many tears | 男人单月内能流的眼泪量真的很惊人 |
| [11:52] | one man can produce in a single month. | |
| [11:55] | “Never talk to Chestnut again.” | 永远别再跟查斯纳谈话 |
| [11:56] | Alright, tank-top. | 好了，背心男 |
| [11:59] | Prove your worth. | 证明你的价值 |
| [12:00] | Hmm? What? | 证明你的价值 |
| [12:02] | I-I’m sorry. – Go, man. | 什幺？抱歉，我… |
| [12:03] | This hangover is killing me. | 宿醉真的很痛苦 |
| [12:05] | I-I had a wild night out | 我昨晚跟朋友出去玩得很疯 |
| [12:06] | with the boys last night, y’know? | 我昨晚跟朋友出去玩得很疯 |
| [12:08] | Jackson bought some shots, Trey invited some babes, | 杰克森买酒 |
| [12:10] | Cody did some sick backflips. | 特雷找妹子 寇帝表演了超帅的后空翻 |
| [12:13] | By the end of the night I had forgotten | 昨晚后，我忘记你的婆婆和我家地址 |
| [12:15] | about your mother-in-law… And my home address. | |
| [12:17] | You know, unlike your choice in women, | 虽然你对女人眼光很糟 |
| [12:20] | that idea is not half-bad. | 主意倒是不坏 |
| [12:23] | A party could get Evan off my back | 派对能让艾文别烦我 |
| [12:25] | and might help him get over his break-up. | 并忘记分手的事 |
| [12:26] | Hmm. Hmm. | |
| [12:27] | Hmm. | |
| [12:29] | Okay, I just have to ask. | 好，我得要知道 |
| [12:30] | I grew up in Bangor. | 好，我得要知道 我在邦哥长大，她瘦瘦的，戴眼镜？ |
| [12:31] | Was she a thin woman with glasses? | 我在邦哥长大，她瘦瘦的，戴眼镜？ |
| [12:33] | No. | 不是 |
| [12:35] | She was a tub of clam chowder with perfect vision. | 她是有着完美视力的美味浓汤 |
| [12:38] | Whew! | |
| [12:41] | “She sipped her coffee.” | “她喝了口咖啡” |
| [12:43] | “The clock ticked. | “时钟滴答走过” |
| [12:45] | Seconds turned into minutes. | “每秒汇集成分钟” |
| [12:47] | Minutes turned into hours. | “分钟汇集成小时” |
| [12:48] | Hours turned into days. | “小时汇集成天，天汇集成周” |
| [12:50] | Days turned into weeks. | |
| [12:52] | She flagged down the waitress. | “她招来服务生” |
| [12:53] | ‘More coffee?’ | “还要更多咖啡” |
| [12:54] | One cup turned into two. | “还要更多咖啡” “一杯变成两杯” |
| [12:56] | Two cups turned into three…” | “一杯变成两杯” “两杯变成三杯” |
| [12:57] | Mommy! | “两杯变成三杯” |
| [12:58] | I forgot how bad the school cafeteria food is. | 妈咪，我忘记学校餐厅有多难吃了 |
| [13:01] | Can you please make me a healthy snack? | 能帮我做健康点心吗？拜托，妈咪？ |
| [13:02] | Please, Mommy? | |
| [13:03] | Maybe in a bit, but first | 等下吧，首先我有个自己独创的概念 |
| [13:05] | I have a different, original idea of my own. | |
| [13:08] | Call your friends and tell them you’re having a sleepover! | 打给你的朋友，邀他们参加过夜派对 |
| [13:10] | But you said sleepovers are just a scam | 但你说那是找人免费顾小孩的幌子 |
| [13:12] | to get free babysitting. | |
| [13:13] | They are, but I’ll make an exception. | 没错，但我愿意破例 |
| [13:15] | You’re the best, Mommy! | 你最棒了，妈咪，我现在就去打电话 |
| [13:17] | I’ll go call people right now. | |
| [13:18] | And you’ll do this… without me? | 你可以… |
| [13:20] | Sure! | -独力完成？-对 |
| [13:24] | “Three cups turned into four. Four cups turned into five. | “三杯变成四杯，四杯变成五杯” |
| [13:29] | She asked for the bathroom code. | “她询问厕所密码” |
| [13:32] | It was 9-7-2-5-3-1-8-0…” | |
| [13:37] | Mom? | 妈妈？ |
| [13:38] | Damn it, Emery! | 妈妈？ |
| [13:40] | She was just about to meet Gorbachev in the bathroom! | 艾默利，她正要去厕所见戈巴契夫 |
| [13:42] | Have you seen Eddie and Dad? I can’t find them anywhere. | 有看到艾迪跟老爸吗？我找不到他们 |
| [13:44] | Well, they said something about going to Leroy’s Burger Town. | 他们好像说要去李洛伊汉堡城 |
| [13:47] | Wait, they went to Leroy’s Burger Town without me? | 等等，他们丢下我去李洛伊汉堡城？ |
| [13:50] | Are you at Leroy’s Burger Town right now? | -你在李洛伊汉堡城吗？-不在 |
| [13:52] | No. | |
| [13:53] | Well… | 那不就对了 李洛伊汉堡城 |
| [13:58] | They call this a burger?! | 这也叫汉堡？更像鼻屎三明治 |
| [14:00] | More like a… a booger. | |
| [14:02] | Sandwich. | |
| [14:03] | Cooked not good. | 没料理好 |
| [14:05] | Don’t force it. There’s a lot to figure out. | 别勉强，有很多要消化，边吃边讲 |
| [14:07] | You’re eating, you’re talking. | |
| [14:08] | Just slow down. You’ll find it. | 慢慢来，就会抓到诀窍 |
| [14:10] | I know, I know. I’m just so eager to please. | 我知道，我只是急着想取悦你们 |
| [14:12] | We’re pleased, man. Pleased you’re here. | 我们很开心，开心你在这里 |
| [14:16] | You’re sneaking off without me? | 你们偷偷丢下我？ |
| [14:17] | And you invited Trent? | 还请了川特？不是说只请黄家人？ |
| [14:19] | What happened to Huang boys only? | |
| [14:20] | Well, what happened to eating meat? | -说好了要吃肉 |
| [14:22] | It hurts the animals! | -那会伤害动物 |
| [14:23] | Of course it does! It’s meat! | 那是当然，那是肉 |
| [14:25] | Hey, I’m not the one that owes an explanation here. | 现在该辩解的不是我 |
| [14:27] | Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Not you, Trent! | 抱歉，我不知情 |
| [14:29] | I don’t know you that well, but you seem very nice! | 不是你，川特 虽然我们不熟，但你感觉人很好 |
| [14:32] | Well, since you two clearly didn’t want me here, | 既然你俩不想邀请我，我就走了 |
| [14:34] | I guess I’ll just go. | |
| [14:38] | That’s right, everyone! | 没错，各位，尽量看个够 |
| [14:39] | Get your stares in now! | |
| [14:41] | We’re all dealing with something! | 哪家人不吵架的 |
| [14:46] | Alright, Zack… Truth or Math? | 好了，柴克，真心话还是数学题？ |
| [14:49] | Truth. | 真心话 |
| [14:52] | Alright, boys, I’m gonna leave now. | 各位，我要走了，你们没问题吗？ |
| [14:53] | You sure you’re all okay? | |
| [14:55] | Evan, you’re good? | 艾文，你行吗？ |
| [14:56] | Yes, Mommy. Now please go. | 艾文，你行吗？ 可以，妈咪，请走吧 |
| [14:57] | Zack picked “truth.” | 柴克选了真心话，史无前例 |
| [14:59] | We’re in uncharted territory, and it’s gonna get weird. | 一定会很怪 |
| [15:04] | Well, then? C’mon. | 那幺，快问吧 |
| [15:06] | Who would you rather kiss… | 你宁愿吻谁？我妈还是杰夫的妈妈？ |
| [15:07] | My mom or Jeff’s mom? | |
| [15:09] | Ooh. | |
| [15:11] | Do you have a 5? Go fish. | -你有一张五吗？-继续钓鱼 |
| [15:14] | We’ve played the whole deck. I know you have a 5. | 我们玩了整叠牌，你一定有张五点 |
| [15:17] | Go fish. | 继续钓鱼 |
| [15:20] | I hate to admit it, but your ex | 我不想承认 |
| [15:22] | had some good advice | 但你前男友建议我用派对 |
| [15:23] | about distracting Evan with his “wild night.” | 让艾文分心的点子不错 |
| [15:27] | I don’t mean to be rude, but you weren’t paying that guy? | 抱歉多嘴，但你没付钱给那个男生？ |
| [15:30] | Not with money. | 我用的是别种报酬 |
| [15:32] | Oh, it’s so nice | 终于有自己时间的感觉真好 |
| [15:34] | to finally be able to have some time to myself! | |
| [15:37] | Evan was driving me nuts, | 艾文快把我逼疯了 |
| [15:39] | always following me around with the “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” | 整天追着我喊”妈咪” |
| [15:43] | The clinginess was just too much. | 他真的黏人粘过头了 |
| [15:47] | Just getting some juice. | 我来倒果汁，希望这样不会太过头 |
| [15:48] | Hopefully it’s not too much. | |
| [15:57] | Oops, there I go again. | 我又搞砸了 |
| [15:59] | Too much. | 太过头了 |
| [16:00] | She gets it, Evan! You’re just wasting juice! | 她懂了，艾文，别再浪费果汁 |
| [16:10] | Well, I guess I’ll leave you be, now that you “finally have time for yourself.” | 那我闪远点，现在你终于有私人时间 |
| [16:14] | Look, Evan, I don’t know | 艾文，我不知道你误听到什幺 |
| [16:15] | what you think you heard, but I wasn’t… | |
| [16:17] | Let’s check the tapes. | 但我… 我们来听现场侧录 |
| [16:19] | You were recording? | 你在录音？ |
| [16:21] | Evan was driving me nuts, always following me around | 艾文快把我逼疯了 |
| [16:24] | with the “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” | 整天追着我喊”妈咪” |
| [16:27] | Nobody learned from Watergate. | 大家都没从水门事件学到教训 |
| [16:29] | Look, Evan, I wasn’t… | |
| [16:31] | Don’t worry, Mommy. | -艾文，我不… -别担心，妈咪 |
| [16:32] | What’s a few more cracks in this broken heart of mine? | 反正心已碎，多踩几脚又何妨 |
| [16:40] | It’ll be okay, Jessica. | 没事的，洁西卡 |
| [16:42] | I mean, parents are allowed to mess up once in a while. | 父母也该被允许偶尔犯错 |
| [16:44] | Marvin gave Maria coffee yesterday. | 马文昨天喂玛丽亚喝咖啡 |
| [16:46] | I’ve never messed up like this before. | 我从没犯过这样的错 |
| [16:48] | He’ll come back. They all do. | 他会回来，他们总会回来 |
| [16:50] | Louis still comes to me for motherly support. | 路易士仍会来向我寻求母亲的支助 |
| [16:53] | Really? | 真的？很有趣 |
| [16:54] | Interesting. | 真的？很有趣 |
| [16:57] | It’s not that Marvin isn’t satisfying in bed. | 我不是说马文不能满足我 |
| [16:59] | It’s just, I don’t have the stamina to keep up. Okay, Jenny, that’s enough. | -我实在没精神 -可以了，珍妮 |
| [17:02] | Hey, Emery. | 艾默利，刚才的事 |
| [17:03] | Look, about earlier… | 艾默利，刚才的事 |
| [17:04] | Yeah, about earlier indeed! | 对，刚才的事 |
| [17:05] | I can’t believe you picked undercooked meat blood | 不敢相信你们为了一坨血肉抛弃血亲 |
| [17:07] | over your own flesh and blood. | |
| [17:09] | Well, I got news for you, kid. | 坦白跟你说，孩子，我经营牛排馆 |
| [17:10] | I run a steakhouse! That’s how we survive! | 我们靠那个维生 |
| [17:13] | Meat paid for the clothes on your back, | 你的衣服是血肉买的，睡的床也是 |
| [17:14] | meat paid for your bed, | |
| [17:15] | meat paid for your commemorative coins! | 纪念硬币也是，你的一生建于血肉上 |
| [17:17] | Your life was built on meat! | |
| [17:19] | Yeah, what’s the deal, Emery? | 艾默利，所以是怎样？ |
| [17:20] | You too good for meat now or what? | 现在肉配不上你了吗？ |
| [17:22] | If you’re too good for meat, I guess you’re too good for… this alarm clock! | 若是肉配不上你，那这个… |
| [17:25] | And this journal! And this… bowl of… loose batteries. | 闹钟和日记本，及一碗电池也是 |
| [17:30] | You know what, Dad? | 爸，我不会因为你吃肉卖肉而歧视你 |
| [17:31] | I never judged you for eating and selling meat. | |
| [17:33] | I respected you. | 我尊重你 |
| [17:34] | And all I wanted was some respect in return. | 我只希望你们也能尊重我 |
| [17:40] | Hey, is this sleepover still happening? | 这个过夜派对还要继续吗？ |
| [17:42] | Yeah, because if not, uh, that would actually be a relief. | 要是取消了，会让我松一口气 |
| [17:45] | I need my home bathroom to… do what I need to do. | 我需要回家，才能安心上厕所 |
| [17:51] | I know I’m on your bed, but it’s not because I’m clingy. | 我知道我在你床上，但不是因为黏人 |
| [17:54] | There was just nowhere else to go. | 而是因为无处可去 |
| [17:55] | Evan, I felt awful for hurting you. | 艾文，伤害你让我很自责 |
| [17:58] | I didn’t know what to do, | 我不知该怎幺办，所以打给我妈妈 |
| [17:59] | so I called my mom to talk about it. | 我不知该怎幺办，所以打给我妈妈 |
| [18:01] | Did she go on a rant about how annoying you are? | 她有抱怨你有多烦人吗？ |
| [18:03] | Actually, she sent me straight to voicemail. | 其实她直接让我进语音信箱 |
| [18:06] | But the fact that I wanted to call her | 但我想到打给她这点，让我顿悟到 |
| [18:08] | made me realize something… | |
| [18:09] | Sometimes a kid just needs their mom. | 有时孩子会需要他们的妈妈 |
| [18:13] | Unless your mom’s a hamster. They eat their babies. | 除非你妈是仓鼠，它们会把宝宝吃掉 |
| [18:16] | So you figured out Cool Ranch Jr. Didn’t move to Seattle? | 所以你发现小酷酱没有搬去西雅图？ |
| [18:18] | Yeah. | -对 -艾迪知道吗？ |
| [18:19] | Did Eddie? | -对 -艾迪知道吗？ |
| [18:20] | No. And I won’t tell him. | 不知道，我也不会说 |
| [18:23] | You’re always so perfect, I sometimes forget | 你总是这幺完美 |
| [18:26] | it doesn’t mean you won’t struggle. | 我有时会忘记你还是会遇到挫折 |
| [18:28] | I was glad I could be here to help you… | 我很高兴能在你身边帮助你 |
| [18:31] | Because I know I won’t always be. | 因为我不会永远都在 |
| [18:32] | Oh, no. Are you dying? | 糟糕，你要死了？预言不是这样说的 |
| [18:34] | What about the prophecy? | |
| [18:35] | What? No. | 什幺？我指的是你会离家去上大学 |
| [18:36] | I’m talking about when you go off to college. | |
| [18:38] | The psychic’s prediction is still true. | 大师的预言不变，我会比你们都长命 |
| [18:40] | Mommy will outlive you all. | |
| [18:41] | Oh, thank God. | 感谢老天，请在我丧礼献唱 |
| [18:43] | Please sing at my funeral. You have a lovely voice. | 你的歌声很美 |
| [18:46] | It was wrong of me to get annoyed at you | 我不该因为你需要我就觉得你烦 |
| [18:48] | just for needing my support. | |
| [18:50] | Getting over heartbreak takes time. | 治疗伤心需要时间 |
| [18:52] | Or so I’ve heard. | 我听说是如此 |
| [18:53] | I guess I might have been overdoing it a bit. | 我想我也有点太过头了 |
| [18:56] | And also, I started to hear myself, | 我开始听到自己 |
| [18:58] | and all that “Mommy” is a bit much. | 一直叫”妈咪”真的很烦 |
| [19:00] | From now on, you can be “Mother.” | 从现在起，我改口叫你母亲 |
| [19:01] | Mm, just call me “Mom.” | 叫我妈就行了 |
| [19:04] | It’s the easiest thing to scream when you’re being kidnapped. | 被绑架时这样叫最容易 路易士黄牛仔牧场牛排屋 |
| [19:10] | I got the weird invitation you slid under my door. | 我从门缝下收到奇怪的邀请书 |
| [19:12] | Your handwriting is really bad, Eddie. | 你的笔迹真的很丑，艾迪 |
| [19:14] | Look, you’re still upset. | 你还在生气，我们说了些无心之话 |
| [19:15] | We’ve all been saying things we don’t mean… | |
| [19:17] | No, it’s bad. | 真的很糟，你应该知道E开口在哪边 |
| [19:18] | You should know which way an “E” faces by now. | |
| [19:20] | We have computers. Who cares?! | 反正现在都用电脑，谁在乎 |
| [19:21] | Look, we’re sorry. | 我们很抱歉，我们真的搞砸了 |
| [19:23] | We messed up big time. | |
| [19:25] | You did. You did do that. | 没错，你们的确如此 |
| [19:27] | And we’re sorry we bounced you out of the Burger Boys. | 我们也很抱歉将你挤出汉堡男孩外 |
| [19:29] | We really did like hanging out. | 我们真的很喜欢跟你混 |
| [19:30] | I mean, look at this trio. | 看看这三人组，我们很少这样一起混 |
| [19:32] | How often are the three of us a thing? | |
| [19:34] | It was never supposed to be about burgers. It was about bonding. | 重点不在于汉堡，而在于联络感情 |
| [19:36] | It was hard for me not to see you going vegan as a judgment on me. | 很难不把你转而茹素看做对我的批判 |
| [19:39] | You don’t claim to be the best in town, so I’d never judge you. | 你不号称全市最棒，我就不会批判你 |
| [19:42] | Thanks. | 谢谢，我们邀请你来餐厅是有原因的 |
| [19:44] | Now, we did invite you to Cattleman’s for a reason. | |
| [19:46] | We put our heads together and made you | 我们同心协力为你做了好吃素食汉堡 |
| [19:47] | a good veggie burger… | |
| [19:49] | Not like that crap from the restaurant. | 跟那间餐厅的不一样 |
| [19:51] | Thanks, guys. | 谢谢你们 |
| [20:01] | So? What do you think? | 所以你觉得如何？ |
| [20:04] | Wow, it’s, uh… in my mouth. | 我吃到嘴里了 |
| [20:10] | “As he knelt over his lover’s pale, lifeless body | “他跪在爱人苍白无力的身体旁” |
| [20:13] | he took her pale, lifeless hands in his darker, alive hands. | “把她苍白无力的手” “握在黝黑强壮的手中” |
| [20:17] | He turned his neck upward | “他仰天长啸” |
| [20:19] | and screamed to the heavens…” | |
| [20:21] | Whyyyy?! How could this have happened?! | “为什幺？” |
| [20:23] | My heart has been broken!! | “为什幺会这样？ 我伤心了” |
| [20:24] | Sicily!! | “西西莉” |
| [20:26] | Whew! | “西西莉” |
| [20:27] | Sorry, this is way more therapeutic than I thought. | 抱歉，这比我想像中更疗愈 |
| [20:30] | I’m glad it’s helping, but just so you know, | 我很高兴这有帮助，但版税不能分你 |
| [20:32] | you’re not making any royalties from this. | |
| [20:34] | I know, Mom. | 我懂，妈 |
| [20:37] | “He turned his neck upward, then screamed to the heavens…” | “他仰天长啸” “为什幺？” |
| [20:50] | Thank you for such a lovely date, Jenny. | 感谢你给我这次美好的约会，珍妮 |
| [20:51] | What the hell? | 搞什幺啊？ |
| [20:53] | You really do know your “Matlock” trivia. | 搞什幺啊？ 你真擅长电视剧猜谜 |
| [20:55] | Color me impressed. | 我非常惊艳 |
| [20:57] | And you really know how to talk over the best parts. | 而你总是在精华部分打岔 |
| [21:08] | Heard there was an opening in the Burger Boys | 听说你们汉堡男孩有空缺 |
| [21:09] | and you skipped over me for your little golden boy Trent. | 你们却跳过我，选了黄金男孩川特 |
| [21:12] | So now I’m dating your mother. | 所以我在跟你老妈约会 |
| [21:14] | It’s your move, boss. | 换你出招了，老板 |
| [21:18] | You employ some odd people, Dad. | 你的员工真的很多怪咖，老爸 |
| [21:21] | I like the ones with low self-esteem. | 我喜欢自尊心低落的人，什幺都肯干 |
| [21:23] | They do anything. | |
| [21:24] | Hm. | |
| [21:26] | Think that’s a good idea. | |
| [21:28] | Hmm. |