| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | You’re not gonna believe this. | 你们一定不敢不信 |
| [00:06] | I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. | 我编了一则笑话寄到《花花公子》 |
| [00:09] | They printed it. | 结果登出来了 |
| [00:12] | I didn’t know they print jokes. | 我不知道《花花公子》也登笑话 |
| [00:14] | They print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. | 他们有笑话 专访 扎实的新闻报导 |
| [00:18] | It’s not just about the pictures. | 并非只有裸女图片 |
| [00:20] | Didn’t work on Mom, it’s not gonna work on us. | 当年妈不信你 现在我们也不可能会信 |
| [00:23] | Here, check it out. It’s the first one, too. | 给 你们看 还是第一则呢 |
| [00:27] | Right there. | 在这里 |
| [00:31] | That is funny. | 真好笑 |
| [00:32] | It was also funny when I made it up. | 我编出来时也很好笑 |
| [00:37] | – What? – I made that joke up. | -什么 -这则笑话是我编的 |
| [00:40] | No, you didn’t. I did. | 不是你 是我 |
| [00:41] | Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, | 是我 我说给公司的丹听 |
| [00:44] | and he said it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard. | 他说这是他听过最好笑的笑话 |
| [00:46] | Hey, tell Dan thanks. | 帮我谢谢丹 |
| [00:52] | What? | 怎样 |
| [00:53] | I’m sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. | 抱歉 我在看下面那则笑话 |
| [00:55] | Man, that one is funny. | 那则很好笑 |
| [01:00] | Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right? | 莫妮卡 你记得我跟你说过那则笑话吧 |
| [01:03] | – No. – Seriously? | -不记得 -真不记得吗 |
| [01:05] | You tell a lot of jokes. | 你的笑话一大堆 |
| [01:09] | Look, Chandler, it’s my joke. | 钱德勒 那是我的笑话 |
| [01:10] | But if it makes you feel any better, | 不过他们没有印投稿人的名字 |
| [01:13] | they don’t print the name. | 或者这样你会好过点 |
| [01:14] | So it doesn’t really matter who gets credit. | 所以是谁的并不重要 对吧 |
| [01:17] | Yeah, I guess. | 大概吧 |
| [01:18] | – Hey, guys. – Playboy printed my joke! | -你们好 -乔伊 《花花公子》登了我的笑话 |
| [01:21] | No, no, it’s mine, it’s my joke. | 不 不 那是我的笑话 |
| [01:23] | You can call them, they’ll tell you. | 你可以打电话去问 他们会告诉你是谁的 |
| [01:24] | – It’s my joke! – It’s my joke! | -那是我的笑话 -是我的 |
| [01:27] | Jokes? What…? | 笑话 |
| [01:29] | You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right? | 你们知道这上面有裸女吧 |
| [01:39] | So no one told you life was gonna be this way | 没人告诉你生活会是这样 |
| [01:44] | your jobs a joke, you’re broke, | 你滑稽的工作 你的差劲 |
| [01:46] | your love life’s D.O.A. | 你半途而废的爱情 |
| [01:49] | It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear, | 就像开车卡在二档 |
| [01:53] | And it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, | 每日每周每月 |
| [01:56] | or even your year, but | 甚至每年都是如此 |
| [01:59] | I’ll be there for you, | 大雨倾盆时 |
| [02:02] | ’cause you’re there for me too. | 因为你也陪伴着我 |
| [02:14] | Dude! You have got to turn on Behind The Music. | 快 赶快转到《音乐幕后》 |
| [02:17] | The band Heart is having a tough time and they may break up. | 红心合唱团状况百出 可能会解散 |
| [02:20] | Let’s watch that at your place. | 我们去你家看吧 |
| [02:23] | Nah, Monica’s watching some cooking show. | 不行 莫妮卡在看烹饪节目 |
| [02:24] | Come on, I don’t want to miss when they were skinny. | 快点 我可不想错过第一手消息 |
| [02:27] | Chandler, Chandler, You know what we should do? | 钱德勒 你知道吗 |
| [02:29] | You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses. | 我们应该去买新墨镜 |
| [02:33] | What? No, I want to watch this. | 什么 不要 我想看电视 |
| [02:38] | Did your cable go out? | 你的有线电视断线了吗 |
| [02:40] | No. No, that’s VH1 . | 不是 那是热门音乐台 |
| [02:43] | I tell you, the music these kids listen to today… | 我跟你说 现在小孩听的音乐 |
| [02:45] | It’s like a lotta noise to me. I don’t know… | 我都觉得好吵哦 |
| [02:50] | Joey, why is your cable out? | 乔伊 为什么你有线台没了 |
| [02:52] | Because, uh, I haven’t really paid the bill | 因为我没交钱 |
| [02:55] | If you need money, | 你若缺钱 |
| [02:56] | would you please-please just let me loan you some money? | 拜托让我借给你点 好吗 |
| [02:59] | No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? | 不要 钱德勒 你别再说了 |
| [03:01] | I know things have been tight since Janine moved out. | 我知道吉宁搬走后 我手头是有点紧 |
| [03:05] | God, was she hot. | 天哪 她可真辣 |
| [03:06] | I know, yeah. | 就是啊 |
| [03:08] | Look, I can handle it, all right? | 但是我可以应付 好吗 |
| [03:09] | I can listen to the radio. | 我可以听广播 |
| [03:12] | And Ross gave me this great book. | 罗斯也给了我一本很棒的书 |
| [03:17] | You want to see if the joke stealer | 要不要问那个笑话小偷 |
| [03:18] | will let us watch the show at his place? | 我们能不能去他家看 |
| [03:20] | Sure. | 好啊 |
| [03:23] | – Paid your phone bill? – Not so much. | -电话费有缴吗 -没有 |
| [03:35] | It’s only you. | 原来是你 |
| [03:37] | What are you doing? | 你们在看什么 |
| [03:38] | Looking at a Playboy. | 我们在看《花花公子》 |
| [03:40] | I want to look too! | 我也想看 |
| [03:44] | Yikes! | 哎哟 |
| [03:47] | So do you think that these pictures- | 你们认为 |
| [03:48] | Are, are they trying to tell a story? | 这些照片是有故事性的吗 |
| [03:51] | Oh, yeah, sure. | 当然有 |
| [03:52] | I mean, like in the case of this young woman, | 比如像这位年轻小姐 |
| [03:54] | …she has lost her clothes, so… | 她的衣服不见了 所以… |
| [03:57] | So she rides naked on the horse, | 她光溜溜的骑着马 |
| [03:59] | she’s crying out, “Where are they? Where are they?” | 大喊”我的衣服呢 我的衣服呢” |
| [04:03] | She’s not gonna find them, lying in the grass like that. | 撩人地躺在草地上 是找不到的 |
| [04:11] | Remember the days when you’d go out to the barn… | 记不记得以前去马厩 |
| [04:14] | …lift up your shirt and bend over? | 掀起衣服翘起屁股的日子吗 |
| [04:20] | You see, now, I would date this girl. | 我会愿意约这个女孩出去 |
| [04:23] | She’s cute, she’s outdoorsy. | 她很可爱 很阳光 |
| [04:26] | You know, and she knows how to build a fire. | 她知道怎样点火 |
| [04:28] | I mean, that’s got to come in handy. | 总会有用上她的一天 |
| [04:30] | I got a question. | 我有一个问题 |
| [04:32] | If you had to pick one of us to date, | 如果要在我们之中挑女朋友 |
| [04:33] | who would it be? | 你们会挑谁 |
| [04:36] | – I don’t know. – Me neither. | -不知道 -我也不知道 |
| [04:38] | Rachel. | 瑞秋 |
| [04:40] | What? | 什么 |
| [04:43] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [04:46] | Me neither. | 我也不知道 |
| [04:51] | You know, you forget how many great songs Heart had. | 红心合唱团有多少经典的歌啊 |
| [04:57] | “Barracuda” was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard. | 《梭子鱼》是我学会弹的第一首歌 |
| [05:02] | So you heard it, you repeated it… | 那么说你听过 弹过 |
| [05:05] | …so that must mean you wrote it. | 所以那首歌是你写的咯 |
| [05:09] | You guys with this joke. Well, I gotta say… | 你们怎么还争啊 老实说 |
| [05:12] | …l know I cracked up, | 尽管我当时捧腹大笑 |
| [05:13] | but I’m not even sure I got it. | 但我不确定有没有看懂 |
| [05:16] | What? | 什么 |
| [05:18] | You didn’t get it? | 你看不懂 |
| [05:19] | The doctor is a monkey. | 那个医生是只猴子 |
| [05:23] | And monkeys can’t write out prescriptions. | 猴子没办法开处方 |
| [05:28] | You are not allowed to laugh at my joke. | 我的笑话不准你笑 |
| [05:32] | Your joke? | 你的笑话 |
| [05:33] | Well, I think the Hef would disagree. | 海夫纳可不会同意[花花公子创办人] |
| [05:36] | Which is why he sent me a check… | 所以他寄了这张 |
| [05:39] | …for $ 100. | 百元支票给我 |
| [05:41] | So you stole my joke and you stole my money? | 你偷我的笑话 还偷我的钱 |
| [05:45] | I was gonna stick it in the ATM. | 我本来要拿去存款机存的 |
| [05:47] | But now I think I’ll show the sexy teller… | 现在我决定让那位性感女行员 |
| [05:50] | …that I am a published writer. | 知道我是个作家 |
| [05:53] | Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke. | 她会知道你是偷来的 |
| [05:56] | Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there? | 你想怎样 跟着我去吗 |
| [05:57] | – Yeah. – Well, I’m not going to go now anyway | -没错 -反正我现在又不去 |
| [06:00] | Okay. | 好 |
| [06:04] | Here you go. | 帐单 |
| [06:08] | Gunther? | 甘瑟 |
| [06:10] | I can’t pay now, because I’m not working. | 我现在没钱付 因为我没工作 |
| [06:13] | I’ve had to cut down on some luxuries like… | 因而我必须尽量避免奢侈行为 |
| [06:15] | …paying for stuff, so…. | 像付帐之类的 |
| [06:20] | Well, if you want, you can work here. | 如果你不介意 你可以来这里工作 |
| [06:23] | I don’t know. | 我不晓得… |
| [06:24] | It’s just…. | 只是 |
| [06:26] | See, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know? | 我是连续剧的常驻演员 |
| [06:29] | And to go from that to this, it’s just…. | 从明星到服务员 我实在… |
| [06:32] | And plus, I’d have to wait on all my friends. | 而且还得给我朋友端茶送水 |
| [06:36] | Okay. But the money’s good. | 好 但薪水不错哦 |
| [06:37] | Plus, you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want. | 还可以看瑞秋看个够 |
| [06:43] | What? | 什么 |
| [06:44] | Flexible hours. | 工作时间很弹性 |
| [06:48] | Maybe I could be a waiter. | 也许我可以当个服务员 |
| [06:50] | Could I use the phone? | 可以用电话吗 |
| [06:59] | She picked Rachel. | 她选了瑞秋 |
| [07:00] | I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. | 虽然她想改口 但是很明显 |
| [07:03] | She picked Rachel. | 她选瑞秋 |
| [07:05] | He took my joke. He just took it. | 他偷我的笑话 还那么理所当然 |
| [07:09] | This is wrong. You know what else is wrong? | 这样是不对的 你知道还有什么是不对的吗 |
| [07:12] | Phoebe picking Rachel. | 菲比选了瑞秋 |
| [07:14] | Know who else picked Rachel? Ross. | 还有谁会选瑞秋吗 罗斯 |
| [07:16] | You know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. | 罗斯还做了什么 他偷了我的笑话 |
| [07:20] | You know what? I’m going to get a joke journal. | 我要买一本笑话日志 |
| [07:23] | And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes. | 好记录我每次讲笑话的日期时间 |
| [07:26] | Good idea. Know what’s a bad idea? | 好主意 你知道什么主意不好吗 |
| [07:29] | – Picking Rachel. – That’s right. | -选择瑞秋 -没错 |
| [07:34] | Did you hear something? | 什么声音 |
| [07:36] | Maybe it’s the sound of Ross climbing into my brain | 也许是罗斯爬进我的脑袋 |
| [07:38] | to steal my thoughts. | 窃取我的思绪 |
| [07:40] | It’s coming from the living room. | 是从客厅传来的 |
| [07:49] | I finished my book. | 我的书看完了 |
| [07:58] | – Hey, you guys. – Hey. | -姐妹们 -好啊 |
| [08:01] | Don’t you guys look cute. | 你们好可爱 |
| [08:03] | You guys make a cute couple. | 真是可爱的一对 |
| [08:07] | Monica, what are you doing? | 莫妮卡 你这是在干嘛 |
| [08:08] | Nothing, I’m just trying to recreate some of the fun that | 没什么 我只是想再造出 |
| [08:11] | we had at my place the other day. | 我们前两天的欢乐时光 |
| [08:13] | Remember? When you picked Rachel over me? | 就是你选瑞秋不选我那次 |
| [08:15] | That was funny. | 蛮好玩的 |
| [08:18] | – lt was kind of funny. – lt wasn’t funny at all! | -是挺好玩的 -一点也不好玩 |
| [08:22] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么选她 |
| [08:24] | Why? Why didn’t you pick me? | 为什么不选我 |
| [08:26] | Fine. | 好 |
| [08:27] | The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you | 我之所以比较倾向瑞秋 |
| [08:32] | …is just, you know, you’re… | 是因为你… |
| [08:34] | …kinda high maintenance | 有点难搞 |
| [08:35] | Okay, let’s go to lunch! | 我们去吃饭吧 |
| [08:37] | That is completely untrue. | 哪有这回事 |
| [08:39] | You think I’m high maintenance? | 你觉得我难搞 |
| [08:41] | Okay, prove it. | 证明给我看 |
| [08:42] | I want write out a list, and we’ll go through it point by point. | 你列一张清单 我们逐条讨论 |
| [08:48] | No, you’re right, you’re easygoing. | 你说得对 你很好相处 |
| [08:51] | You’re just not as easygoing as Rachel. | 你只是没有瑞秋那么好相处 |
| [08:54] | She’s just more flexible and-and mellow. | 她比较有弹性 比较圆滑 |
| [08:57] | That’s all. | 就这样 |
| [09:01] | Well, people are different. | 每个人都不一样 |
| [09:05] | Rachel will do whatever you want. | 瑞秋什么都好 |
| [09:07] | You can just walk all over her. | 怎么欺负她都行 |
| [09:09] | What? Wait a minute. | 慢着 |
| [09:11] | Are you saying that I’m a pushover? | 你是说我没个性吗 |
| [09:12] | I’m not a pushover. | 我才不是 |
| [09:14] | Oh, okay. You’re not a pushover. | 好 你有个性 |
| [09:19] | You think I’m a pushover. | 天哪 你觉得我没个性 |
| [09:21] | Well wait, watch this, you know what? You’re not invited to lunch. | 好吧 你听着 我们不跟你吃饭了 |
| [09:24] | What do you think of that? | 你觉得怎么样 |
| [09:25] | I think that’s pretty strong, that’s what I think. | 我觉得够强硬了吧 |
| [09:26] | Come on, Monica, let’s go to lunch. | 走 莫妮卡 我们去吃饭 |
| [09:31] | You start working on that list. | 把清单给我列出来 |
| [09:35] | I cannot believe her. | 她真是太扯了 |
| [09:36] | I know. Where do you want to go eat? | 就是啊 你想去哪里吃饭 |
| [09:40] | Oh, I love that Japanese place. | 我很喜欢那家日本料理 |
| [09:42] | I’m sick of Japanese. Not going there. | 我吃腻日本菜了 不去 |
| [09:43] | All right. Wherever you want to go is cool. | 好吧 你想去哪里就去哪里 |
| [09:51] | Oh, hey, Gunther… | 甘瑟 |
| [09:53] | …check this out. | 你看 |
| [09:57] | Yeah, that Chandler cracks me up. | 那个钱德勒讲的超好笑 |
| [10:04] | Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, | 罗斯 你要喝什么吗 |
| [10:06] | ’cause I’m heading up there. | 我正好要去柜台 |
| [10:07] | – I’ll take a coffee. Thanks. – Sure. | -要 我要咖啡 谢了 -不客气 |
| [10:10] | – Coffee? – No. | -咖啡 -不要 |
| [10:11] | Coffee? I’m going up there. | 要咖啡吗 我要去柜台 |
| [10:13] | No, thank you. | 不用了 |
| [10:16] | You need anything? I’m heading up there. | 需要什么吗 我要去柜台 |
| [10:19] | I’d love ice water. | 我要一杯冰水 |
| [10:20] | You got it. | 没问题 |
| [10:23] | Joey, what are you doing? | 乔伊 你在干什么 |
| [10:25] | Just being friendly. | 以示友善啊 |
| [10:28] | Joey, honey, I don’t think you’re supposed to go back there. | 乔伊 亲爱的 你不能去柜台后面 |
| [10:31] | Nah, it’s okay. Right, Gunther? | 没关系啦 对吧 甘瑟 |
| [10:34] | Don’t wink at me. | 别跟我使眼色 |
| [10:37] | And put on your apron. | 把围裙穿上 |
| [10:41] | Okay. | 穿就穿 |
| [10:43] | I don’t see you asking other paying customers to put on aprons. | 你怎么不叫其他客人穿围裙 |
| [10:47] | – Joey, do you work here? – No. | -乔伊 你在这里打工吗 -没有 |
| [10:50] | – Waiter. – Yeah! | -服务员 -什么事 |
| [10:59] | Joey, What’s going on? | 乔伊 怎么回事 |
| [11:00] | Why didn’t you tell us you work here? | 你为什么不告诉我们 你在这里工作 |
| [11:05] | It’s kind of embarrassing. | 这件事蛮尴尬的 |
| [11:06] | I mean, I was an actor, now I’m a waiter. | 我之前是演员 现在是服务员 |
| [11:09] | It’s supposed to go the other direction. | 这有点背道而驰 |
| [11:12] | So’s your apron. You’re wearing it like a cape. | 就象你的围裙 它现在成了个披风 |
| [11:16] | I mean, the job’s easy and the money’s good, you know? | 这份工作很简单 薪水很高 |
| [11:19] | I guess I’m going to be hanging out here anyway. | 反正我都在这混 |
| [11:21] | I might as well get paid for it, right? | 干脆赚个钱呗 |
| [11:24] | I just feel kind of weird serving you guys, you know? | 只是要招呼你们感觉很怪 |
| [11:27] | It’ll be great. | 会好起来的 |
| [11:29] | Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine. | 乔伊 我也做过 其实也还好啊 |
| [11:31] | Why would it be weird? | 对啊 怎么会怪 |
| [11:33] | Hey, Joey? Can I get some coffee? | 乔伊 给我来杯咖啡 |
| [11:37] | Okay, I guess it doesn’t seem that weird. | 好吧 确实没那么怪 |
| [11:40] | Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still haven’t gotten it. | 我说真的 我早就点了 现在还没端来 |
| [11:44] | See, now it’s weird again. | 现在又变怪了 |
| [11:47] | I think it’s great that you work here. | 你来这里工作是好事 |
| [11:48] | You’re gonna make a lot of money. Here’s your first tip. | 你会赚大钱 给你第一笔忠告[小费] |
| [11:51] | Don’t eat yellow snow. | 那就是别吃黄雪 |
| [11:56] | 2:15, coffeehouse. | 2点15分 咖啡馆 |
| [12:00] | Well, you know what? This is great. | 太好了 |
| [12:01] | Finally, someone I can pass my wisdom to. | 总算有人能传承我的智慧 |
| [12:04] | Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned | 告诉你几条我在这里工作时 |
| [12:06] | while working at the coffeehouse. | 学到的经验 |
| [12:08] | First of all, the customer is always right. | 首先 顾客永远是对的 |
| [12:11] | A smile goes a long way. | 微笑能让你无往不利 |
| [12:16] | And if anyone is ever rude to you, sneeze muffin. | 有人对你不客气 就朝松饼打喷嚏 |
| [12:22] | Thanks, Rach. | 谢了 瑞秋 |
| [12:24] | Hey, look, you guys are just terrific, you know? | 你们对我真好 |
| [12:27] | How about clearing out so I can get some new customers? | 不如你们先行退下 好让我招待几个新顾客 |
| [12:31] | It’s all about turnover. | 有流动才有商机 |
| [12:34] | Joey. | 乔伊 |
| [12:36] | Seriously, can I get my coffee? | 说真的 我的咖啡什么时候上 |
| [12:40] | Oh, I’m sorry, Ross. I’ll get it for you right now. | 抱歉 罗斯 马上来 |
| [12:42] | And since I made you wait, I’ll toss in a free muffin | 让你等这么久 我送你一块松饼做补偿吧 |
| [12:52] | Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second. | 菲比 我们想跟你谈谈 |
| [12:54] | Okay. | 好 |
| [12:56] | So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. | 或许我是有点难搞 |
| [12:59] | And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. | 或许瑞秋是有点没个性 |
| [13:02] | But you know what we decided you are? | 但你知道我们觉得你是什么吗 |
| [13:04] | Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, | 很抱歉这么说 |
| [13:06] | but you, Phoebe, are flaky. | 但是你 菲比 是个怪人 |
| [13:11] | That’s true, I am flaky. | 没错 我是很怪 |
| [13:14] | So, what, you’re just, you’re just okay with being flaky? | 所以说你怪 你也无所谓吗 |
| [13:18] | Yeah, totally. | 完全无所谓 |
| [13:21] | Then I’m okay with being high maintenance. | 那我难搞也无所谓 |
| [13:24] | Yeah. And I am okay with being a pushover. | 那我没个性也无所谓 |
| [13:27] | That’s great. Good for you guys. | 太好了 无所谓就好 |
| [13:30] | I am not high maintenance! | 我才不难搞 |
| [13:31] | I am not a pushover! | 我才不是没个性 |
| [13:34] | – Who said you were? – You did! | -谁说你们是了 -你啊 |
| [13:36] | I’m flaky. I’ll say anything. | 我是怪人 专门乱说话 |
| [13:45] | Hey, Gunther. | 甘瑟 |
| [13:47] | Can you cover for me? I got an audition. | 你能替我一下吗 我刚接到试镜通知 |
| [13:49] | No, I’m leaving to get my hair dyed. | 不行 我要去染头发 |
| [13:54] | I like your natural color. | 是吗 我喜欢你的自然色 |
| [13:58] | Come on man. It’s a great part. | 拜托 伙计 这是个好角色 |
| [13:59] | Look, check it out. I’m the lead guy’s best friend | 听我说 我演男主角的死党 |
| [14:02] | and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. | 负责在酒吧帮他占位子 你听 |
| [14:05] | “I’m sorry, that seat’s saved.” | “抱歉 这个位子有人” |
| [14:09] | That’s the whole part? | 就这样 |
| [14:11] | Okay, maybe he’s not his best friend. But… | 或许不是他的死党 但是… |
| [14:14] | Okay, I’ll see you in an hour. | 得了 1小时后见 |
| [14:16] | Oh, man. | 天啊 |
| [14:18] | I could totally get that part. | 我绝对能拿到那个角色 |
| [14:21] | “I’m sorry, this seat is taken.” | “抱歉 这个位子有人” |
| [14:22] | – Excuse me. – No, no, I didn’t mean you. | -抱歉 -不 我不是说你 |
| [14:26] | But you believed me? | 但你以为是真的吧 |
| [14:28] | I believed you were saving this seat for someone. | 我以为你在帮别人占位 |
| [14:32] | So you’d hire me, right? | 所以你会用我咯 |
| [14:35] | For what? | 用你干嘛 |
| [14:37] | Exactly! All right, everybody listen up! | 就是说嘛 好啦 各位请注意 |
| [14:40] | The coffeehouse is gonna be closed for about an hour. | 本店要暂停营业1小时 |
| [14:43] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:45] | Yeah, it’s for the kids. | 都是为了帮助孩子们 |
| [14:47] | Yeah, to keep the kids off drugs. | 让孩子远离毒品 |
| [14:50] | It’s a very important issue in this month’s Playboy. | 这是本期《花花公子》的重要报导 |
| [14:54] | I’m sure you all read about it. | 各位一定都看过 |
| [15:06] | – lt’s my joke. – lt’s my joke. | -那是我的笑话 -是我的 |
| [15:12] | It’s my joke. | 是我的 |
| [15:15] | You know, I don’t think we’re gonna settle this. | 我们再吵也吵不出结果 |
| [15:19] | – Let’s have Monica decide. – Yeah. | -让莫妮卡决定吧 -好 |
| [15:21] | – Hey, Mon! – Mon, get out here! | -小妹 亲爱的 -出来一下 |
| [15:23] | – Monica? – Okay. Okay. | -莫妮卡 -听好了 |
| [15:25] | You have to decide whose joke this is. | 你来决定这个笑话是谁的 |
| [15:27] | Why do I have to? | 为什么要我决定 |
| [15:28] | You’re the only one that can be fair. | 因为你才能客观公正 |
| [15:31] | I can’t be fair. You’re my boyfriend. | 我没法公正 你是我的男朋友 |
| [15:33] | Yeah. But I’m your brother. We’re family. | 但我是你哥哥 我们是家人 |
| [15:36] | That’s the most important thing in the world. | 世上最重要的就是亲情 |
| [15:42] | Don’t try to sway her. | 不要想左右她 |
| [15:44] | I’m your only chance to have a baby. | 只有我能让你生小孩 |
| [15:50] | – Okay, let’s go. – All right. | -我们开始吧 -好的 |
| [15:52] | Okay. We’ll each tell you how we came up with the joke | 我们会分别说出这个笑话的由来 |
| [15:56] | …then you decide which one of us is telling the truth. Me. | 你再决定谁说的是实话 当然是我 |
| [16:01] | – Chandler, you go first. – Okay. | -钱德勒 你先 -好 |
| [16:02] | I thought of the joke two months ago | 好 我是两个月前 |
| [16:04] | at lunch with Steve. | 跟史提夫吃饭时想到的 |
| [16:06] | Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas? | 慢着 就是圣诞节那家伙吗 |
| [16:07] | Can I finish my story?! | 让我说完好吗 |
| [16:08] | You want me to pick you? | 你要我选你吗 |
| [16:11] | See, I would never snap at you like that. | 我绝对不会像那样凶你 |
| [16:16] | Two babies. | 二个孩子 |
| [16:23] | – Continue. – Okay. | -请继续 -好 |
| [16:24] | So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. | 史提夫说他去看医生 |
| [16:26] | And Steve’s doctor’s name is Doctor Homey. | 他的医生姓侯 |
| [16:29] | So I said, “Dr. Monkey?” | 我当时问他 “是猴子医生吗” |
| [16:31] | And that is how the whole Dr. Monkey thing came up. | 所以才会有猴子医生这个笑话 |
| [16:38] | Are you kidding? | 你开什么玩笑 |
| [16:41] | Okay, look, I study evolution. | 我是念进化论的 |
| [16:43] | Remember? Evolution. | 记得吧 进化论 |
| [16:45] | Monkey into man. | 猴子进化成人 |
| [16:47] | Plus, I’m a doctor. And… | 况且我是博士 |
| [16:49] | …l had a monkey. | 我还养过猴子 |
| [16:54] | I’m Dr. Monkey! | 我是猴子博士 |
| [16:59] | I’m not arguing with that. | 这点我不跟你争 |
| [17:01] | All right, I’ve heard enough. I’ve made my decision. | 好 可以了 我决定好了 |
| [17:04] | – Okay, so what- – ? – Do tell. | -好的 如何 -说吧 |
| [17:06] | You are both idiots. | 你们两个都是白痴 |
| [17:09] | It’s not funny. | 那个笑话不但不好笑 |
| [17:10] | And it’s offensive to women. | 还冒犯了女性 |
| [17:12] | And doctors. And monkeys. | 还有医生 还有猴子 |
| [17:16] | You shouldn’t argue over who gets credit. | 你们不该争笑话是谁的 |
| [17:18] | You should argue over who gets blamed | 你们应该去争是谁 |
| [17:20] | for inflicting this horrible joke on the world. | 让这世界受这种罪 |
| [17:23] | Now, let it go. | 别再争了 |
| [17:25] | The joke sucks. | 那个笑话烂透了 |
| [17:33] | – lt’s your joke. – lt is not. | -那是你的笑话 -才不是 |
| [17:50] | – Oh, my God, Chandler, there you are. – Hi. | -钱德勒 你在这里啊 -你好 |
| [17:54] | Hey, it’s Phoebe and Rachel. | 是菲比和瑞秋 |
| [17:56] | Hey, why don’t you tell them | 你要不要告诉她们 |
| [17:58] | what you were telling me earlier | 你刚才说的话 |
| [17:59] | about me not being high maintenance? | 说我并不难搞 |
| [18:04] | Monica is a self- sufficient, together lady. | 莫妮卡是个自信沉着的女性 |
| [18:10] | Being with her has been like being on a vacation. | 跟她在一起就像在度假 |
| [18:15] | And what may be perceived as high maintenance… | 至于所谓的难搞 |
| [18:18] | is merely attention to detail | 只是注重小细节 |
| [18:21] | …and… | 和… |
| [18:24] | generosity of spirit. | 心灵的慷慨 |
| [18:28] | Wow. You know what? | 哇 不得不说 |
| [18:29] | That is the best fake speech I think I’ve ever heard. | 这真是我听过最棒的假话 |
| [18:33] | Really? I’ve heard better. | 真的 我听过更棒的 |
| [18:36] | Wait, he came up with that himself. | 等等 那是他自己说的 |
| [18:38] | Tell them, Chandler. | 告诉她们 钱德勒 |
| [18:40] | I’m out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again? | 我已经词穷了 我可以复述一遍吗 |
| [18:42] | Look, I am not high maintenance! | 我一点也不难搞 |
| [18:44] | I am not. Chandler! | 我不是 钱德勒 |
| [18:49] | You’re a little high maintenance. | 你是有点难搞 |
| [18:52] | You are on my list! | 你上我的黑名单了 |
| [18:55] | Look, I’m sorry, but you’re not- – | 对不起 但是你并不 |
| [18:57] | You’re not easygoing, but you’re passionate. | 你并不好相处 但你很热情 |
| [19:00] | And that’s good. | 这样很好 |
| [19:02] | And when you get upset about little things, | 当你为小事不高兴时 |
| [19:04] | I think that I’m pretty good at | 我会恰如其分地 |
| [19:06] | making you feel better about that. | 帮你排解解难 |
| [19:08] | That’s good too. | 那样也很好 |
| [19:09] | They say you’re high maintenance… | 所以她们说你难搞也行 |
| [19:11] | …but it’s okay, because I like… | 但没关系 因为我喜欢… |
| [19:16] | maintaining you. | 搞定你 |
| [19:26] | I didn’t even tell him to say that. | 我可没叫他说这些 |
| [19:32] | – Alright. You’re off my list. – I’m off the list. | -你从黑名单除名了 -我除名了 |
| [19:35] | Phoebe? | 菲比 |
| [19:37] | It’s okay that you don’t want me to be your girlfriend. | 你不找我当女朋友也没关系 |
| [19:39] | I have the best boyfriend. | 因为我有最棒的男朋友 |
| [19:44] | You know, suddenly I find you very attractive. | 我突然觉得你好迷人 |
| [19:50] | Hey, buddy boy, how’d the audition go? | 兄弟 试镜结果如何 |
| [19:52] | Oh, not good. No. | 不好 |
| [19:54] | I didn’t get the part. | 我没拿到那个角色 |
| [19:55] | And I lost my job here, so…. | 这里的工作也没了 所以… |
| [19:58] | Wow, that is a bad audition. | 好惨烈的试镜 |
| [20:02] | Well, how did you lose your job here? | 这里的工作为什么没了 |
| [20:05] | Well, I had the audition… | 我要去试镜 |
| [20:06] | but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge | 但甘瑟叫我留在这里顾店 |
| [20:08] | so he could go get his hair dyed. | 他好去染头发 |
| [20:10] | So I went anyway, and he fired me. | 但我还是去了 他就炒我鱿鱼 |
| [20:12] | He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand | 他大白天扔下工作去办私事 |
| [20:15] | and left you in charge when you’ve been working here two days? | 把一个刚工作两天的员工 留下顾店 |
| [20:19] | That’s not right. | 这样不对吧 |
| [20:21] | What are you gonna do? | 但是能怎么办 |
| [20:23] | Joey, you can’t let him get away with that. | 乔伊 你不能就这么算了 |
| [20:26] | Ya know what, I won’t let him get away with that. | 我绝不放过他 |
| [20:28] | I’m gonna say something | 我要去教训他 |
| [20:29] | No, I shouldn’t say anything. | 不 我不该多事 |
| [20:31] | No, I should say something to him. | 不 我要去教训他 |
| [20:36] | Gunther? | 甘瑟 |
| [20:37] | I want you to give Joey his job back. | 让乔伊继续在这里打工 |
| [20:39] | – lt’s not fair that you have to fire- – – Okay. | -你这样解雇他一点也不… – 好 |
| [20:47] | – What? – He can have his job back. | -什么 -他可以继续打工 |
| [20:50] | That’s right, he can have his job back. | 没错 他可以继续打工 |
| [20:55] | Glad we got that all straightened out. | 很高兴我们把事情都说明白了 |
| [20:59] | There you go, Joey. | 好了 乔伊 |
| [21:00] | Got your job back. | 你可以继续打工了 |
| [21:02] | That’s great. Thanks. Rachel. | 太好了 谢谢你 瑞秋 |
| [21:04] | Pretty nice, huh? Now who’s a pushover? | 不赖吧 谁没个性了 |
| [21:08] | – Rach, you’re in my seat. – I’m sorry. | -瑞秋 你坐到我的位子了 -抱歉 |
| [21:16] | Hey, I never got to hear | 你们都没说 |
| [21:17] | who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend. | 会找谁当女朋友 |
| [21:20] | I’d pick you, Phoebe. | 我选你 菲比 |
| [21:21] | Yeah, definitely you, Pheebs. | 没错 绝对是你 菲比 |
| [21:23] | Yeah, I kind of thought. | 我也这么觉得 |
| [21:33] | Hey. Oh, I have a question. | 我有一个问题 |
| [21:34] | If-if-if one of you had to pick | 如果你们要找 |
| [21:36] | one of the other two guys to go out with, | 另外两个人当男朋友 |
| [21:37] | …who would you pick? | 你们会找谁 |
| [21:39] | – No way. – I’m not answering that. | -少来 -我拒绝回答 |
| [21:40] | Joey. | 乔伊 |
| [21:45] | No way, I’m not answering that. | 少来 我拒绝回答 |