时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:05] | All right, out. | |
[00:07] | Up. Squeeze the pelvic floor. | |
[00:10] | Jesus Christ, Marty. | 天啊,马提 |
[00:11] | You’re putting an awful lot of effort into this one. | 你还真努力运动 |
[00:13] | – Ma’am, you can’t… – Help. | -女士,你不能‥ |
[00:14] | Hang on. I’ll just be a second. | -等等,我一下就好 |
[00:17] | – What? – I’m not doing fewer dates. | -怎样? -我不会减少场次 |
[00:20] | Well, it really wasn’t a request. | 我那不是请求 |
[00:22] | Well, I don’t know who you’re gonna get. | 我不知道你能请到谁 |
[00:23] | – Did you hear about Pentatonix? – What? | -听说五声音阶乐团的事了吗? -什么? |
[00:25] | Well, Steve Wynn found out about your offer somehow | 史提芬永利不知怎么发现 你想聘请他们 |
[00:28] | and gave them dates at the Encore. | 聘他们去永利安可饭店表演了 |
[00:30] | Huge up-front guarantee they didn’t even counter. | 高额预付金 让他们二话不说就接了 |
[00:32] | F**k. | 该死 |
[00:34] | Oh, take it easy on his pelvic floor. | 别那么操他的骨盆 |
[00:37] | You really want to do this, Deb? | 你真的想这样玩吗,小黛? |
[00:39] | You really want to try to f**k me here? | 你真的想要这样搞我吗? |
[00:40] | Oh, Marty. I’ll never be doing that again. | 马提,我再也不会搞你了 |
[00:44] | – He leaves his t-shirt on, you know. – Oh… | 你知道他都不脱上衣吗? |
[00:47] | – That’s not true. – Okay. | 才不是真的 好 |
[01:03] | And now for the KTQZ weather report. | 现在进入天气预报 |
[01:06] | Expect highs of 111 degrees in Clark County today | 克拉克郡今天预计高温111度 |
[01:09] | so make sure to stay out of the sun. | 记得别晒太阳 |
[01:11] | Common savers can now take advantage | 退休金提领规定松绑 |
[01:13] | of relaxed withdrawal rules around 401(k)s. | 存款族现在有福了 |
[01:16] | That’s exactly right, Joe. | 你说得没错,乔‥ |
[01:18] | You know, a lot of people are taking losses and do need extra help, but actually…. | 给你 |
[01:38] | – Morning. | – Morning. 早安‥ |
[01:40] | Good morning, Deb. | 早安,黛博拉 |
[01:48] | He’s a miracle worker. There’s nothing you can’t do. | 他能化腐朽为神奇 什么都做得到 |
[01:51] | So, we’re thinking of doing the fuzzy slippers | 我们想卖绒毛拖鞋 |
[01:53] | instead of the glitter wrapping paper. | 别卖亮片包装纸 |
[01:55] | Good, the fuzzy slippers always sell really well. | 好,绒毛拖鞋都卖得很好 |
[01:57] | And can we get color options on that too? | 可以有颜色选择吗? |
[01:58] | Of course. | 当然 |
[02:26] | Excuse me. Sorry. | 不好意思 抱歉 "员工餐厅" |
[03:04] | The non-smoking section’s over there. | 禁烟区在那边 |
[03:06] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
[03:09] | Can I get your attention please? | 各位请注意 |
[03:11] | All casino employees are reminded to submit timecards by 5.00pm. | 赌场员工请在五点前交考勤卡‥ |
[03:16] | All timecards must be turned in by 5.00pm… | |
[03:20] | – Hey. – Hey, beautiful. | 美女,我一直想昨天的事 |
[03:21] | I keep thinking about last night. | |
[03:22] | I… I didn’t think it was gonna be so ticklish, but… | 我没想到会这么痒 |
[03:24] | What the f**k? | -搞什么? |
[03:25] | – Wait, who is this? – Ava, your client. | -等等,你是谁? 艾娃,你的客户 |
[03:28] | – You called me. – Kayla! | -是你打给我的 |
[03:30] | Oh, yes. You are next on my call sheet. | -凯拉 对,我下一个才会打给你 |
[03:33] | I was about to call you, but… how’re you doing? How’s Vegas? | 我是要打给你,你还好吗? |
[03:37] | Are you and Deborah Vance “Thelma and Louise” yet or what? | 赌城好玩吗? 跟黛博拉凡斯一起末路狂花了吗 |
[03:39] | No, but I do want to drive off a cliff. | 没有,但我真想开车冲下悬崖 |
[03:42] | How long do I have to do this? | 我还得做多久? |
[03:43] | Well, it’s been three days, so longer than that. | 才过三天,所以还要一阵子 |
[03:46] | I don’t even know what I’m doing here. | 我根本不知道我在这里干嘛 |
[03:48] | You’re there to write material for Deborah’s show. | 你要替黛博拉写笑话题材 |
[03:49] | You know, punch-ups for appearances and things like QVC | 写笑话骂权贵 购物台销售的哏 |
[03:51] | and, you know, any personal joke writing… | -贴近个人生活 |
[03:53] | Yeah, I know the literal job description. | -我读过工作叙述 |
[03:55] | I signed a 470-page NDA. | 我签了470页的保密协定 |
[03:57] | – Seems right. – God! | 也对 天啊 |
[04:01] | – Too much. – Okay, Kayla. | -太夸张了 |
[04:03] | – Yeah? – You’re supposed to be on mute. | -凯拉,你应该关静音 |
[04:04] | Oh, I am. I just pushed the thing, bud. | 我有,我按了按钮,老兄 |
[04:07] | Okay, bud. We can hear you. So, you’re definitely not. | 老兄,我们都听得到 所以你才没按 |
[04:09] | Oh, don’t worry. I’m not listening. I’m laughing at a meme. | 别担心,我没偷听 我只是在笑哏图而已 |
[04:12] | It’s like a… there’s a Minion with a big eyeball. | -有个大眼球的小小兵 |
[04:14] | Okay, you’re supposed to be listening. | -你是该要听,之前讲过了 |
[04:15] | We talked about this. You listen and you take notes, right? | 你要仔细听,做笔记 |
[04:17] | Yeah. So, okay. Where’s my notebook? | 好,我的笔记本呢? |
[04:20] | Hey, I need to leave early. I have an adult ballet recital. | 对了,我今天要早退 我有成人芭蕾舞排演 |
[04:23] | Like, just, I can’t miss this one because I missed last week. | 上周已经没去 今天不能再缺席了 |
[04:26] | It just wouldn’t make sense. The whole thing will be off. | 这样不行,不去就白练了 |
[04:28] | – Should I leave you two alone? – Kayla, can you jump off, please? | 我让你们俩聊吧 凯拉,你可以退出吗? |
[04:31] | – No problemo. – Thank you. | -没有问题 -谢谢 |
[04:33] | Testing, Kayla, testing, testing. | 测试‥凯拉 |
[04:35] | – Okay. – You need to fire her. | -好了 -你得开除她 |
[04:36] | I would if I could, but her father owns half the company | 可以的话我也想 她爸握有公司一半股权 |
[04:39] | so she’s essentially my assistant and my boss. | 她基本上是我助理兼老板 |
[04:41] | How does everyone have rich parents except for me? | 为何只有我没有富老爸? |
[04:44] | Look. Just hang in there, okay? | 你撑着点就对了 |
[04:45] | Every job has a learning curve, right? | 每份工作都有值得学习之处吧? |
[04:47] | When I was 15 | -我15岁在肉桂卷店‥ |
[04:48] | – I took a summer job at Cinnabon… – Jimmy, I gotta go. | -我得挂了 |
[04:49] | If I don’t keep moving, I’ll remember that I’m here. | 我得做点什么 |
[04:51] | Hey, stop… | 才能忘记我人在赌城 |
[04:53] | Are you there? You don’t say goodbye. She doesn’t say goodbye. | 你还在吗? 你都不说再见,都这样 |
[04:56] | All right, Kayla, do you want to come in here? | 凯拉,你要不要进来聊芭蕾舞? |
[04:58] | Let’s talk about this dance. | |
[05:00] | I really like the jade. | 我很喜欢翡翠绿 |
[05:02] | I do too. But “normals” like “subway tile.” | 我也是 但普通人都喜欢地铁磁砖 |
[05:04] | Oh, God, they do. | 天啊,的确如此 |
[05:06] | I don’t know, Marcus. | 不知道,这是你的工作 |
[05:07] | – It’s your flip. – What’s going on here? | 他们在干嘛? |
[05:09] | Marcus flips properties on the side | 马可斯的副业是翻修住宅 |
[05:11] | – like they do on HDTV. – I don’t know. I’m torn. | 像电视拍的那样 |
[05:13] | Let’s ask her. Jade or white? | -好犹豫 -问她吧,翡翠绿还是白色? |
[05:17] | I… think the white. | 我想‥ 白色吧 |
[05:22] | – Let’s go with the jade. – Yeah, absolutely. | -我们选翡翠绿吧 -就这么办 |
[05:24] | Let me know how it goes. | 再让我看成品 |
[05:26] | So, do you think today you’ll have time | 你今天有空看我写的东西吗? |
[05:28] | to look over what I’ve been working on? | |
[05:30] | – Sure, just give me a minute. – All right. | -好,你等我一下 -好的 |
[05:33] | I noticed you weren’t at my show last night. | 你昨晚没来看我表演 |
[05:35] | Oh, sorry. I… | 抱歉,我前天晚上有去 |
[05:36] | I came the night before. I figured it was probably the same. | 我以为是一样的 |
[05:39] | Should I be coming… | 我今天该‥ |
[05:41] | – Oh, crap! – I’ll get it. | -该死 -我来装 |
[05:43] | No, you’re busy. I’ll get it. | 不用‥你很忙,我来就好 |
[05:52] | Excuse me. | 借过 |
[06:11] | There we go. | 好了 |
[06:29] | Okay, let’s go. | 好的,来吧 |
[06:37] | Hm. | |
[06:39] | Is that a good “hm”? | 写得好的意思吗? |
[06:41] | No. | 不好 |
[06:43] | Most of these are unusable, but… | 大部分都不能用 |
[06:46] | this part works. | 但这个可以 |
[06:51] | Oh, cool. | 很好,只有铺陈可以用 |
[06:53] | The set-up. | |
[06:59] | You a lesbian? | 你是女同志吗? |
[07:03] | – Not sure you can ask me that. – Oh, what? | 你好像不能问这个 |
[07:06] | Someone’s gonna show up and arrest me? | 怎样,难不成有人会来抓我吗? |
[07:07] | Since you’re my employer, it is illegal. | 你是我的雇主,这么问是违法的 |
[07:11] | But… if you’re genuinely curious. | 既然你那么好奇 |
[07:15] | I used to only hook up with men | 我以前都只跟男人睡 |
[07:17] | but when I masturbated, I thought about women. | 但我自慰时,想的都是女人 |
[07:19] | So, then in college | 大学的时候 |
[07:21] | I finally hooked up with this amazing TA, Phoebe. | 跟漂亮助教菲比勾搭上了 |
[07:24] | And I realized that I could connect more emotionally with women | 我发现和女生比较能有情感交流 |
[07:27] | which led to deeper sexual experiences. | 这样床上经验也更深刻 |
[07:30] | But sometimes I do still need penetrative sex with a dick to come. | 但我有时候还是需要老二 才能有高潮 |
[07:35] | But, I don’t know. | 谁知道 |
[07:37] | Maybe I was just conditioned by the porn | 也许我只是被演算法推播的 |
[07:38] | that was fed to me by the algorithm, you know? | 色情片洗脑 |
[07:42] | So, anyway, I’m bi. | 总之,我是双性恋 |
[07:47] | Jesus Christ, I was just wondering why you were dressed | 我的天啊 |
[07:49] | like Rachel Maddow’s mechanic. | 难怪我觉得你穿得 好像瑞秋梅道的工人 |
[07:51] | Great. So, the jokes? You didn’t like any? | 好,我写的笑话怎么样? 你都不喜欢吗? |
[07:55] | They’re not jokes. I mean… | 那些都不是笑话 |
[07:58] | they’re, like, thought poems? | 我觉得比较像‥心灵短诗 |
[08:01] | “I had a horrible nightmare that I got a voicemail.” | "我做了接到语音留言的恶梦" |
[08:07] | What? | 什么啊? |
[08:09] | It’s funny because voicemails are annoying. | 语音留言很烦,所以才好笑 |
[08:11] | – It’s, like, just text. – First of all | 传简讯就好了 |
[08:14] | if you start a sentence with, “it’s funny because” | 首先,你说"所以才好笑" |
[08:17] | then it’s probably not. | 那大概都不好笑 |
[08:18] | And second, jokes need a punchline. | 第二,需要有好笑的结尾 |
[08:20] | Well, in my opinion | 我个人认为 |
[08:22] | traditional joke structure is very male. | 传统笑话结构太男性化了 |
[08:25] | It’s so focused on the ending. It’s all about the climax. | 都只在乎结局,老是想着高潮 |
[08:27] | Oh, look who’s talking. I just got a TED Talk about yours. | 居然训起话来 我才听完你长篇大论一番 |
[08:31] | – Deborah, Kiki’s here. – Oh, great. | 黛博拉,琦琦来了 |
[08:33] | Thanks, Josefina. | 好的,谢谢,约瑟菲娜 |
[08:36] | Sorry, are we done? What’s happening? | 谈了吗,怎么回事? |
[08:37] | I’m playing blackjack. I don’t know what you’re doing. | 我要去玩21点 你要干嘛我不管 |
[08:40] | Why don’t you just play at the casino? | 你干嘛不去赌场玩就好? |
[08:42] | Oh, casinos are disgusting. People smoke indoors. | 赌场很恶心,大家都在室内抽烟 |
[08:45] | Yeah, I know. You make me live in one. | 我知道,你逼我住那里 |
[08:47] | – Ha! – Hi, Deborah. | 你好,黛博拉 |
[08:49] | Hello. | 你好,新头发好可爱 |
[08:50] | – Oh, cute hairdo. – Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
[08:53] | – How’s our little Luna? – She’s amazing! | 璐娜还好吗? |
[08:56] | We just had her three-year check-up. | 她很棒,刚才完成三年检查 |
[08:58] | The doctor said her arms and legs are super long. | 医生说她的手脚都非常长 |
[09:00] | I think she’s going to be a hip-hop dancer. | 我觉得她以后是街舞好手 |
[09:02] | Oh, good for her. | 太好了 |
[09:03] | Kiki, Ava. Deal her in. | 琦琦,这是艾娃 发牌给她 |
[09:06] | Oh. Oh, no. I… I don’t really know how to play. | 不用,我其实不知道怎么玩 |
[09:09] | Then why’d you follow me in here? | 那你干嘛跟着我进来? |
[09:12] | Your call. | 你决定吧? |
[09:15] | Hit me? | 拿牌? |
[09:16] | You just moved here, huh? | 你才刚搬来吧? |
[09:18] | Well, Vegas f**king slaps! | 赌城很酷,你一定会喜欢 |
[09:21] | – You’re gonna love it. – Not if she keeps playing like that. | 她继续这样玩就不酷了 |
[09:24] | Okay. Any… | 好‥你可以教我一下吗? |
[09:25] | any guidance for me? | |
[09:27] | Always hit on 16 and double down on 11. | 16点就拿牌 11点就加倍下注 |
[09:29] | Hilarious. | 真好笑,我是说写笑话的部分 |
[09:30] | I mean about the jokes. Anything in particular you want? | 你有什么特别偏好吗? |
[09:33] | Yes, there should be more of them, and they should be funny. | 你要多写一点,要写得好笑 |
[09:36] | Blackjack! Deborah! | 二十一点,黛博拉 |
[09:38] | – Yay, got a blackjack! – The blackjack! Oh, my God. | -二十一点‥ -我的天啊 |
[09:41] | – Thanks for the ride. – Yeah, no problem. | 谢谢你送我一程 |
[09:43] | It’s on the way to my next gig. | 不用客气,到我下一场顺路 |
[09:48] | – Nice car. – So sick, right? | 好棒的车 很帅吧? |
[09:50] | Whenever Deborah gets a new Rolls, I get the old one. | 每次黛博拉买新的劳斯莱斯 我就可以接手旧的 |
[09:54] | This is my third. | 这是第三辆了 |
[09:58] | I cannot believe she gave you this car. | 没想到她会送你这辆车 |
[10:01] | So far all I’ve gotten is emotional abuse. | 我只一直被情绪虐待 |
[10:03] | – Today she asked me about the… – Okay, that sounds like a bummer | -她今天问我‥ |
[10:05] | but I’ve gotta stop you. | -听起来很惨,但我得打断你 |
[10:06] | I’ve got to sing the chorus whenever this song comes on. | 每次播这首歌 我一定要跟着唱副歌 |
[10:11] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
[10:13] | This dancing was killing me softly | "这支舞迷死我" |
[10:17] | I needed to hate you to love me, yeah | "我得恨你才能宠爱自己" |
[10:21] | To love, love, yeah | "宠爱‥" |
[10:23] | To love, love, yeah | |
[10:25] | To love, yeah | |
[10:27] | I needed to lose you to love me, yeah | "我得离开你才能宠爱自己" |
[10:30] | Oh. | |
[10:32] | Okay. You were complaining? | 好,你刚才在抱怨什么? |
[10:34] | Sorry. I… | 抱歉,我知道有工作就很幸运了 |
[10:35] | I know I’m lucky to have a job, genuinely, I do. I just, I don’t understand why she’s making it so hard. | 真的,但我不懂她干嘛这么难搞 |
[10:40] | Listen, Deborah’s a hustler like me. | 听着,黛博拉跟我一样拼命 |
[10:43] | You see this dope shirt? This was hers. She gave it to me. | 看见这漂亮上衣了吗? 这是她的,她给我的 |
[10:46] | – Deborah had a glitter crop top? – Uh-uh, no. | 黛博拉居然有亮片小背心? |
[10:49] | I had to cut off the sleeves and trim it. | 不是,我把袖子剪掉改造的 |
[10:51] | Point is, her shit is ugly, but the quality is there. | 重点是,她的东西很丑 但品质很好 |
[10:55] | So, if you can’t make it good, that is on you. | 若你不能善加发挥,错就在你 |
[10:59] | Oh, and don’t kill me | 你别生气 |
[11:00] | but I’m gonna play that song two more times. | 这首歌我还要再播两次 |
[11:03] | – This is a playlist? – Uh-huh. | -原来这是歌单? -对 |
[11:05] | Then why did I have to stop talking? | 那干嘛叫我别讲话? |
[11:06] | Honey, when you’re on shuffle, any song can play at any moment | 亲爱的 随机播放时歌随时都会出现 |
[11:10] | and it is through that randomness | 就是这种随机感才能学到意义 |
[11:12] | that we can totally receive meaning. | |
[11:16] | I needed to lose you to find me | "我得离开你才能找到自我" |
[11:21] | I can see it in your eyes. You wanna. | 从你的眼神看得出你也想唱 |
[11:22] | Killing me softly | "迷死我" |
[11:26] | I needed to hate you to love me, yeah | "我得恨你才能宠爱自己" |
[11:29] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
[11:30] | To love, love, yeah | "宠爱自己‥" |
[11:32] | To love, love, yeah, to love, yeah | |
[11:34] | Yeah! | |
[11:35] | I needed to lose you to love me | "我得离开你才能宠爱自己" |
[11:43] | I’m sorry. I’m gonna… | 抱歉,我得‥ |
[11:47] | – Really? – Yeah. | -你来真的吗? -对 |
[11:48] | – Oh, watch the drink. – Sorry. | -小心饮料 -抱歉 |
[11:52] | Jesus. | 天啊 |
[11:58] | I’m sorry. I can’t write in my room. | 对不起,我在房里无法写作 |
[12:00] | My neighbors are having, like, performatively loud sex | 邻居恩爱叫得夸张大声 |
[12:02] | and the business center is essentially like | 商务中心根本是古柯硷毒窟 |
[12:03] | a f**king coke den. | |
[12:05] | Okay. | 好喔 |
[12:08] | Hey, can I get you a drink? | 你需要饮料吗? |
[12:09] | Oh, yes. Can I get a vodka soda? | 好,给我伏特加苏打好吗? |
[12:12] | – Sure. – Yeah. | 当然 |
[12:13] | Oh, drinks are on the house. | 饮料免费 |
[12:14] | Oh, can I get two? | 那可以给我两杯吗? |
[12:17] | Oh, I’ll get you three, sweetie. | 我拿三杯给你,美女 |
[12:19] | Yes! | 好耶 |
[12:22] | Do you want me to show you how to play? | 要我教你怎么玩吗? |
[12:24] | Sure, yeah. | 好啊 |
[12:25] | Well, you have to match up the hamsters with the tabby cats. | 你得把仓鼠跟虎斑猫配对 |
[12:28] | The tabby cats? | 虎斑猫 |
[12:29] | – There you go. – Thank you. | -给你 -谢谢 |
[12:31] | – Oh, enjoy. – You too. | -慢慢享受 |
[12:34] | – Thanks. – “You too”? | -你也是 你也是? |
[12:43] | – Oh, my God, yes! – Yes! | 天啊,好耶 |
[12:47] | Chill… | 喝慢一点 |
[12:48] | – Christina. – Whoo! | 克莉丝汀 |
[12:49] | Have fun at Disney World. | 去迪士尼乐园好好玩 |
[12:51] | Yeah… | |
[12:52] | This game is such f**king capitalist bullshit. | 这机台根本是资本主义垃圾 |
[12:55] | I won! | 我赢了 |
[13:35] | Yes? | 怎么了? |
[13:36] | Oh… I was just wondering if you got a chance | 不知道你看过 |
[13:39] | to read any of the new stuff I sent for tonight? | 我为今晚表演写的新素材了吗? |
[13:42] | I did. | 我看了 |
[13:44] | And? | 然后呢? |
[13:46] | Better. | 比较好 |
[13:47] | Oh. Great. | 太好了 |
[13:50] | It’ll be great to hear them with a crowd. | 你能在观众前讲就太好了 |
[13:52] | – Fifteen, Ms. Vance. – Thank you. | -十五分钟,凡斯小姐 -谢谢 |
[13:56] | Oh, but I do love my wine, though. | 但我很爱葡萄酒 |
[13:59] | Now, I wouldn’t say I’m alcoholic. | 我不会大声说我是酒鬼 |
[14:01] | I’d slur it. | 我会偷偷说 |
[14:04] | But my idea of a perfect evening is a glass of wine | 但我理想的夜晚是一杯红酒 |
[14:09] | and if I’m feeling a little frisky | 若我感到有点调皮 |
[14:12] | I’ll pop in an adult film. | 可能就放一支成人片 |
[14:14] | But here’s the trick. | 但有技巧的 |
[14:16] | I watch it in reverse. | 我会倒着看 |
[14:20] | Because then it’s about being rewarded for sex. | 那样性爱结束就有奖品 |
[14:24] | With a pizza! | 可以吃披萨 |
[14:32] | Have a good night. | 祝你有个美好夜晚 |
[14:35] | – You said my jokes were better. – They were. | -你明明说我的笑话比较好了 -的确 |
[14:37] | Well, you didn’t use any. | 但你一个都没用 |
[14:39] | They were better because you stole them from yourself. | 比较好的原因是你抄自己的笑话 |
[14:42] | Half were from your film script. | 有一半都是你剧本里的哏 |
[14:44] | The others were clearly dated rehashes you threw in. | 剩下的都是你稍微改过而已 |
[14:47] | – You read my script? – Yes. | 你看过我的剧本? |
[14:49] | I had Jimmy send me everything you’ve ever written. | 对,我叫吉米把你所有作品寄来 |
[14:51] | I do my research. | 我做足功课 |
[14:52] | So, the next time you try to half-ass something | 下次你想交半调子的东西出来前 |
[14:55] | I… | "自助餐吃到饱,黛博拉凡斯 螃蟹真材实料" |
[15:01] | – Son of a… – There she is. | -王八蛋 -你打来了 |
[15:03] | How dare you! | 你好大的胆子 |
[15:05] | Well, if I don’t have Pentatonix, I’ve got to promote you, right? | 没了五声音阶乐团 我只能宣传你了 |
[15:08] | And the truth is… | 但老实说,卖龙虾赚的钱比你多 |
[15:09] | is you don’t make me nearly as much money as lobster tail. | |
[15:13] | But, if it’s any consolation | 希望我这么说,你会好过一点 |
[15:15] | I bet you taste just as good dipped in butter. | 我猜你沾了奶油也很好吃 |
[15:41] | I just… I wanted to say I’m sorry that I gave you… | "自助餐吃到饱,黛博拉凡斯 螃蟹真材实料" |
[15:46] | upcycled material yesterday. | 我想跟你道歉 昨天给了你创意再利用的素材 |
[15:51] | The crowd loved the show last night. | 观众很爱昨晚的表演 |
[15:53] | You might wanna lose that joke about Anna Nicole Smith, though | 但安娜妮可史密斯的哏 还是别说了 |
[15:57] | as she is… | 因为她已经‥死很久了 |
[16:00] | long dead. | |
[16:02] | Let me get this straight. | 我厘清一下状况 |
[16:05] | You not only don’t write me anything funny | 你不只没写出好笑又原创的素材 |
[16:09] | or even original | |
[16:11] | and now you’re telling me what jokes not to do? | 现在还要禁止我讲某些笑话吗? |
[16:15] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
[16:18] | I think it’s just been hard to write in your voice | 在不了解你的状况下 |
[16:21] | when I don’t know you. | 要用你的语气写笑话很困难 |
[16:26] | You know what? | 这样吧 |
[16:28] | You make a good point. | 你说得有道理 |
[16:29] | Why don’t we… | 我们开车出去绕绕吧? |
[16:32] | take a little drive? | |
[16:33] | You can get to know me better on a little road trip. | 出去兜风的过程你也可以认识我 |
[16:35] | Okay, cool. | 太好了 |
[16:37] | Wait. What about… what about the show tonight? | 等等,今晚的表演怎么办? |
[16:39] | Ah! We’ll be back in time. I’ll speed. | 我们会及时赶回来,我会飙车 |
[16:44] | What do you think about the climate crisis? | 你觉得气候危机如何? |
[16:47] | In theory, I’m an environmentalist, but in practice | 理论上,我是环保份子 |
[16:49] | paper straws taste like a cardboard worm. | 但实务上 |
[16:51] | Uh-huh. Hey, why don’t you turn on the radio? | 我觉得纸吸管都有纸板虫味 你开一下收音机吧? |
[16:55] | All right. | 好 |
[16:57] | Whoa, do you have, like, huge hands? | 你的手也太大了吧? |
[17:03] | – I think they’re normal-sized. – No… | 应该是正常尺寸 |
[17:05] | They look like catcher’s mitts. | 不对‥看起来跟捕手手套一样 |
[17:07] | Your manicurist must use a paint roller. | 你的美甲师得用油漆滚轮吧 |
[17:09] | Okay. You know, some people think it’s pretty cheap | 有人觉得拿他人外表作文章 |
[17:12] | to make fun of other people’s appearances. | 是一件很低级的事 |
[17:14] | Yeah. Ugly people. | 对,丑八怪都这么想 |
[17:20] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
[17:21] | Had I known the drive was this long, I would have peed before we left. | 我要是知道要开那么久 出发前我就会先尿尿 |
[17:24] | – All right, well, just hurry. – Okay. | 好啦,动作快就是了 |
[17:26] | Oh, wait, while you’re in there | 等等,既然都要进去 |
[17:27] | you might as well get me a Diet Coke… | 顺便帮我买健怡可乐 |
[17:31] | from the fountain. | -要饮料机的 |
[17:32] | Okay! Jesus. | -好啦 |
[17:39] | Oh. | 天啊 |
[17:40] | Hey. Do you have a reusable cup? | 对了,你有环保杯吗? |
[18:01] | Here you go. | 给你 |
[18:03] | Where’s the change? | 找的钱呢? |
[18:04] | Oh, it was only, like, 27 cents or something. | 只找了27分钱 |
[18:06] | Go back and get it. | 回去拿呀 |
[18:13] | Okay. | 好的 |
[18:17] | I should’ve finished college. | 早知道就乖乖读完大学 "古董行" |
[18:42] | Okay. You see that antique shop there? | 你看见那边的古董店了吗? |
[18:46] | – Yeah. – Okay. I want you to go in there | 看到了 我要你进去店里 |
[18:49] | and I want you to buy… this for me. | 帮我买这个东西 |
[18:55] | I’m… I’m sorry, what? | 抱歉,那是什么? |
[18:56] | What is… what is that? | |
[18:58] | That is a Jean Royère pepper shaker. And I want it. | 那是罗耶尔的胡椒罐 我想要,但我不能进去 |
[19:01] | But I can’t go in. He’ll gouge me. You’ll get a much better deal. | 他会开高价 你能谈到更好的价格 |
[19:04] | Oh, my God. | 天啊,难怪我们要开车出来 |
[19:06] | That’s why we drove all the way out here. | |
[19:07] | You didn’t want to spend time getting to know each other. | 你才不想花时间认识彼此 |
[19:10] | You just wanted a pepper shaker mule. | 你只是想找人帮你代买胡椒罐 |
[19:13] | Okay, when you go in there | 你进去之后 |
[19:14] | don’t make a beeline for the pepper shaker | 千万别冲去找胡椒罐 |
[19:16] | because he’s gonna know you want it | 这样他就知道你的目的 |
[19:17] | so, you know, kind of casually browse, you know. | 你就随意看看 |
[19:20] | Look at a couple of other things | 看看其他的东西 |
[19:21] | but then, when you do | 等到你看到胡椒罐时 |
[19:23] | offer him five, but go up to ten if you have to. | 先开五千块钱 必要的话开到一万块也可以 |
[19:28] | I’m sorry. Is this 10,000 dollars? For… for a pepper shaker? | 抱歉,这是一万块钱吗? 买区区一个胡椒罐? |
[19:34] | Royère never made tableware. It’s very rare. | 罗耶尔从来不做餐具 非常稀有 |
[19:39] | Okay, now don’t mention my name. | 好,记得别提到我的名字 |
[19:41] | Oh, and tell him it’s personal to you. | 记得跟他说东西对你很重要 |
[19:43] | He loves a story. | 他很喜欢听故事 |
[19:46] | Hurry up! | 快去 |
[19:54] | I hope you’re donating regularly to Planned Parenthood. | 希望你会定期捐款 给计划生育协会 |
[19:57] | Go! | 去啦 |
[20:04] | Well, hi there. | 你好 |
[20:05] | Hi, how’s it goin’? | 你好吗? |
[20:06] | Well, can I help you find something special? | 要帮你找特别的商品吗? |
[20:10] | No, I’m just browsing. | 没关系,我随意看看 |
[20:25] | How much is this? | 这多少钱? |
[20:27] | Well, look at you. You have great taste. | 瞧瞧你,品味真好 |
[20:30] | That’s one of the most valuable pieces in the store. | 这是店里最名贵的古董 |
[20:33] | – Oh, yeah. That’s… – It’s French. | 这样啊‥ |
[20:37] | Sevres porcelain, signed | 这是法国赛佛尔瓷器 |
[20:40] | early 19th century, with exceptional provenance. | 上头有签字,19世纪初的古董 大有来头 |
[20:43] | It was purchased by a member of the Obenchain-McMillan family | 欧班麦克米兰家族成员 |
[20:45] | at auction in 1930. | 于1930年拍卖会时购入 |
[20:47] | Cute. | 真可爱 |
[20:48] | It’s listed for 32,000 dollars. But I could do… | 要价三万两千元 |
[20:53] | 28 today. | 但今天可以卖你‥两万八千元 |
[20:54] | Oh, okay. Maybe. Maybe. | 也许吧‥ |
[21:00] | Oh, you know, this just occurred to me. | 我突然想到 |
[21:03] | Do you have a pepper shaker? | 店里有胡椒罐吗? |
[21:07] | A single pepper shaker? | 单一胡椒罐吗? |
[21:10] | Yeah. I love… them. | 对,我很爱 |
[21:16] | I did list one. | 店里有一个,今天刚到货 |
[21:19] | Just today. | |
[21:25] | Yep, yeah, wow. That’s so nice. | 对,好漂亮 |
[21:29] | Would you do 5,000? | 五千元你卖吗? |
[21:35] | – Are you here for Deborah Vance? – Yes. | -黛博拉凡斯派你来的? -对 |
[21:37] | I explicitly told you not to say my name. | -我明叫你不要提我的名字 |
[21:38] | – He asked! – Unbelievable. | -是他问的 太离谱了 |
[21:41] | Well… | 你看看‥ |
[21:43] | She shows her face. | 藏镜人现身了 |
[21:45] | I can’t believe you would stoop so low | 没想到你竟然自贬身价 |
[21:47] | as to hire some niche escort off Craigslist to do your dirty work. | 随便找网路上的人帮你代购 |
[21:50] | I wouldn’t have to send anyone if you’d just sell it to me! | 你若直接卖我,就不需要找人了 |
[21:52] | Yeah, I wasn’t joking, Deborah. I will never sell to you. | 我不是开玩笑,黛博拉 我永远不会卖给你 |
[21:55] | Oh, get over it! | 别闹了 |
[21:57] | Do you know how many years I put in with that rancid gorgon | 你知道我跟蛇发女妖交涉多少年 |
[22:00] | before she croaked? | 她才终于死掉吗? |
[22:01] | I played Parcheesi with her! | 我还跟她玩十字戏 |
[22:02] | And then you sweep in and buy | 你半路杀出来 |
[22:05] | the entire estate sale sight unseen. | 就这样扫光所有财产 |
[22:08] | It’s a free market! Come on! I’ll give you 15. | 这是自由市场 拜托,我出一万五千元 |
[22:10] | – No. – Oh, you stubborn ass! | -不要 |
[22:12] | – Twenty? – No. | -你这固执鬼,两万块呢? 不要 |
[22:16] | Okay, name your price. | 你开个价 |
[22:19] | An apology. | 跟我道歉 |
[22:36] | No eating in the car. | 车上不准吃东西 |
[22:44] | Oh! | |
[22:55] | Shit. | 该死 |
[22:58] | All right. Should we get the spare? | 好,要拿备胎出来换吗? |
[23:02] | It’s a Rolls Royce, not a Suzuki Samurai. | 这是劳斯莱斯 |
[23:05] | There is no spare. | 不是三菱越野车,没有备胎 |
[23:06] | Thing’s got heated cup holders. There’s no f**king spare tire. | 车上有保温杯座,却没有备胎 |
[23:08] | Okay, so we’ll call AAA. | 好,叫道路救援吧 |
[23:11] | My show’s in 90 minutes. I can’t wait. | 再90分钟就要开演,等不了 |
[23:15] | Danny. Danny, hi. It’s Deborah Vance. | 丹尼‥我是黛博拉凡斯 |
[23:18] | Hi, baby. | 宝贝啊 |
[23:19] | I’ve got a flat, and I need to get to my show. | 我爆胎了 但我得赶着演出 |
[23:21] | Yeah, I need a ride. Can you pick me up? | 对,我需要你载我一程 你能来载我吗? |
[23:25] | You’re a sweetheart. Okay, I’m on Las Vegas Boulevard | 你人太好了 我在洛杉矶大道上 |
[23:29] | about… 15 minutes north of Primm. | 普莱姆向北约15分钟车程处 |
[23:33] | You’ll see me. Okay. | 你会看到我的,好的 |
[23:37] | Yeah, that is shredded. | 没错,裂光光了 |
[23:41] | Shredded to the bone. | 裂到见骨了 |
[23:54] | So, how long you gonna give me the silent treatment? | 你要跟我冷战多久? |
[23:56] | It’s not silent. You’re breathing very loudly. | 这不是冷战 你呼吸声非常大声 |
[24:00] | You know, it’s gonna be hard to work together | 我们无法沟通的话很难共事 |
[24:01] | if we can’t communicate. | |
[24:03] | We don’t work together. You work for me. And not very well. | 我们不是共事 你是替我做事,还做得不好 |
[24:08] | You couldn’t even do the one thing I asked. | 叫你办个小事,你都做不好 |
[24:10] | Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t haggle | 抱歉没买到尚万强的小玩意儿 |
[24:12] | for your “Jean Valjean tchotchke” or whatever, but I… | 我是喜剧写手 |
[24:15] | – I’m a comedy writer. – Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
[24:27] | You know, this isn’t even about the pepper shaker. | 这根本跟胡椒罐无关 |
[24:29] | It is most certainly about the pepper shaker. | 这完全跟胡椒罐有关 |
[24:32] | No, I think you’re just butt-hurt about that billboard | 你只是看到螃蟹广告不高兴 |
[24:34] | and you’re taking it out on me. | 尽是拿我出气 |
[24:36] | Ooh. Great psychoanalysis. | 精神分析得真好 |
[24:38] | Oh, I get it. You’re a therapist. That explains it. | 我懂了,你是咨商师 |
[24:41] | – You’re certainly not a writer. – Yeah, how would you know? | 那说得通了,你绝对不是作家 你怎么知道? |
[24:44] | You barely give me the time of day! You skim my work. | 你根本没给我多少时间 你随手翻翻我的作品 |
[24:47] | I never know where you want me to be or when. | 我不知道你希望我何时何地出现 |
[24:49] | You don’t give me any feedback. | 也不给我任何回馈 |
[24:51] | You’re making it really hard! | 你让我真的很不好过 |
[24:55] | Hard? | 不好过? |
[24:57] | You think this… this is hard? | 你觉得这叫不好过吗? |
[25:00] | You don’t know what hard is. | 你根本不知道什么叫不好过 |
[25:02] | You got plucked off the Internet at what, 20? | 你不过二十岁时在网路上被骂 |
[25:05] | You just got lucky! | 你只是走运 |
[25:06] | I may have been lucky, but I’m also good. | 就算我是走运,我也有实力 |
[25:09] | Well, I should hope so. | 但愿如此 |
[25:10] | Good is the minimum. It’s the baseline. | 实力是基本的,最低底线 |
[25:13] | You have to be so much more than good. | 你必须更加突出 |
[25:15] | And even if you’re great and lucky | 就算你有实力,又走运 |
[25:17] | you still have to work really f**king hard! | 还是得非常努力 |
[25:19] | And even that is not enough. | 做到那样还是不够 |
[25:21] | You have to scratch and claw, and it never f**king ends. | 你必须埋头苦干,而且永无止尽 |
[25:25] | And it doesn’t get better. | 人生不会更顺遂 |
[25:29] | It just gets harder. | 只会更苦 |
[25:31] | So, don’t complain to me | 所以少跟我抱怨让你人生不好过 |
[25:32] | that I’m making your life hard. | |
[25:36] | You don’t even know what that means. | 你根本不懂什么叫做不好过 |
[25:41] | Oh, good. My ride’s here. | 很好,有人来接我了 |
[25:49] | I don’t think I’m comfortable riding in a local news chopper. | 我不敢坐当地新闻台直升机 |
[25:53] | Well, good, because you’re not. | 你不需要坐,你得把车开回去 |
[25:54] | You’ve got to get the car back. | |
[25:56] | What, you’re leaving me here? | 你要把我丢在这里吗? |
[25:57] | Yep! | 对 |
[25:59] | And don’t run the AC. It’s low on gas. | 记得别开冷气,快没油了 |
[26:02] | Hey! | 你好幸运,不用再忍受我的演出 |
[26:03] | Lucky for you | |
[26:04] | you don’t have to suffer through another one of my shows! | |
[26:08] | Nice catch! | 接得好 |
[26:10] | Not surprised. | 不意外 |
[26:42] | Oh… | |
[26:46] | F**k. | 该死 |
[26:53] | F**k it. | 算了 |
[26:58] | Jimmy Lusaque Jr.’s office. | 小吉米拉萨克办公室 |
[27:00] | Hi, Kayla. Can I talk to Jimmy? | 凯拉,我能找吉米吗? |
[27:02] | It’s… who is it? | 你哪位? |
[27:04] | – Ava. – Oh, my goodness! | 我是艾娃 |
[27:06] | We’ve gotta go to the club, girl. | 美女,我们得一起去夜店 |
[27:08] | Jimmy? You got a call. | 吉米,你有电话 |
[27:11] | Ava, jump on, babe. | 是艾娃 宝贝接吧 |
[27:15] | Hey, how’s it going? | 你还好吗? |
[27:16] | This woman left me in the middle of the desert. | 那女人把我丢在沙漠 |
[27:18] | I… I’m so sorry, like, I will do any other job. | 对不起,我其他什么工作都接 |
[27:22] | What about Camilla? Her room? | 帮卡蜜拉写稿呢? |
[27:23] | The job you quit after 11 days because you said it was “basic”? | 你才做了十一天 就嫌人家无聊辞职不干了 |
[27:27] | I don’t think so. | 我看不了 |
[27:28] | I can’t do it, Jimmy. | 我做不下去了,吉米 |
[27:31] | Ava, they want me to drop you. | 他们要我放生你 |
[27:32] | – Wait. What? Who? – The partners. | -等等,谁啊? -合伙人 |
[27:34] | I used this job with Deborah | 我说你在帮黛博拉,求他们留你 |
[27:35] | to convince them to let me keep you on. | |
[27:37] | I… I don’t wanna drop you. | 我不想放弃你 |
[27:38] | You’re the first person I signed for a reason. | 我第一个签下你不是没有原因 |
[27:41] | Didn’t you sign Lil Miquela before me. though? | 在我之前你不是签了米凯拉吗? |
[27:43] | Yes, but she’s a CGI Instagram thirst-trap bot, so it’s different. | 但她是卖弄身材的虚拟网红 那不一样 |
[27:47] | Look, you can do this, okay? | 听着,你一定可以的 |
[27:50] | You just have to find a way to prove it to her. | 你得找到向她证明自己的方法 |
[27:53] | Okay, okay. | 好‥ |
[27:56] | Hey, Jimmy. | 吉米,我手很大吗? |
[27:58] | Do I have big hands? | |
[28:01] | – I don’t think so. – Yes, you do, girl. | -我觉得没有 -你手真的很大,姊妹 |
[28:03] | – Kayla! – What? | -凯拉 -怎样? |
[28:04] | They’re not big. | 你的手不大 |
[28:05] | I wouldn’t call them small, but I wouldn’t call them big. | 不算小,但也不会太大 |
[28:07] | Don’t worry about it. | 你不要担心 |
[28:15] | Where’s the girl? Did you bury her in the desert? | 她人呢,你把人家埋在沙漠吗? |
[28:18] | Not yet. | 还没埋 |
[28:20] | Cue intro. | 准备开场 |
[28:21] | Ladies and gentlemen, Deborah Vance! | 各位观众,欢迎黛博拉凡斯 |
[28:26] | This donut, it’s too small for this car. | 这个备胎太小 |
[28:28] | You can’t drive faster than 50 miles per hour. | 时速不能超过五十哩 |
[28:30] | – Great, thank you. – Yeah. | 好的,谢谢 |
[28:53] | I’m closing! | 我们关门了 |
[28:59] | Jesus. | 天啊 |
[29:01] | – What happened to you? – It’s… | 你怎么了? |
[29:03] | it’s a long story. | 说来话长 |
[29:06] | So then, I had to leave LA. | 后来我得离开洛杉矶 |
[29:08] | It’s pretty much the worst thing that’s ever happened to me | 算是我人生最惨的经历了 |
[29:10] | and that’s saying a lot | 我所言不假 |
[29:11] | because my dad had a stroke the same day I chipped a veneer. | 我爸中风那天 我还撞断瓷牙贴片 |
[29:15] | And now, for your punishment, you’ve got to work for that woman? | 如今你受到惩罚 得在那女人手下做事吗? |
[29:19] | – Poor girl. – Life is random, but I… | 可怜的孩子 生命无常 |
[29:24] | I think from that randomness we can totally receive meaning. | 但经历这种无常 才能悟出人生意义 |
[29:28] | And, right now, for me | 对现在的我来说 |
[29:31] | there’s meaning in that pepper shaker. | 那个胡椒罐很有意义 |
[29:33] | Because of that one stupid tweet I’m stranded in the Nevada desert | 就因为一则愚蠢的推特 我被困在内华达沙漠 |
[29:39] | asking you to sell me an antique pepper shaker | 拜托你卖古董胡椒罐给我 |
[29:43] | because otherwise I’ll lose this job that I hate | 因为要是我买不到 我就会失去我痛恨的工作 |
[29:48] | but… that I need. | 我需要这份工作 |
[29:51] | So, it’s not for Deborah. | 所以不是卖给黛博拉,是卖给我 |
[29:53] | It’s for me. So, please. Will… will you just sell me the pepper shaker? | 拜托你,可以卖胡椒罐给我吗? |
[30:06] | No. | 不要 |
[30:11] | Okay. | 好的,我尊重你的决定 |
[30:13] | – I have to respect that. – Good luck. | 祝你好运 |
[30:24] | – What are you doing? – Sell it to me. | -你这是干嘛? -卖给我 |
[30:25] | Are you out of your mind? | 你疯了不成? |
[30:27] | – That’s one of a kind! – Sell me it! | 那是稀世珍宝 |
[30:29] | I have nothing left to lose! I’ll do it! | 卖给我,我没什么好损失‥ |
[30:30] | – Just stop! Put it down! – Sell me it! | -住手,放下来 -卖给我 |
[30:32] | You think you have nothing in common with Deborah Vance? | 你以为你跟黛博拉凡斯不一样? |
[30:34] | No, you’re the same! | 你们一模一样 |
[30:35] | You’re both psychotic bitches! | 你们都是疯女人 |
[30:37] | You have three seconds to take the money or I’m gonna do it! | 只给你三秒收钱,否则我就砸了 |
[30:39] | Please! Think of the Obenchain-McMillan family! | 拜托,想想欧班麦克米兰家族 |
[30:40] | I don’t give a f**k about the Obenchain-McMillans! | 我才不在乎欧班麦克米兰家族 |
[30:43] | They probably owned slaves! F**k you, “Lemony Snicket”! | 他们家可能还有奴隶 去死吧,雷蒙尼史尼奇 |
[30:47] | One, two, three! | 一,二,三 |
[30:52] | Here. | 给你 |
[30:55] | And no. | 而且没有找钱 |
[30:57] | There was no change. | |
[31:00] | You look like hell. | 你看起来很糟 |
[31:01] | Yeah, I had a pretty hard day. | 我今天不太好过 |
[31:06] | Oh, we can start early tomorrow. I can be ready for you at 10.00. | 明天可以早点开始 我十点可以见你 |
[31:12] | Okay. | 好 |
[31:54] | – Oh, good morning. – Morning. | 早安‥ |
[31:57] | So, I have been thinking more about what you said | 我思考过你说的话,你说得对 |
[32:00] | and you’re right. | |
[32:01] | You do need to get to know me to write for me. | 你得更认识我才能帮我写笑话 |
[32:05] | – For real this time? – Yes. | -你这次是认真的吗? -对 |
[32:08] | Cool. | 太好了 |
[32:09] | So, come with me. | 那么,你跟我来 |
[32:15] | This is everything I’ve ever done. | 这是我所有的表演 |
[32:17] | Every joke I’ve ever written. Every show I’ve ever taped. | 所有写过的笑话都在这里 |
[32:20] | Every TV appearance for the last 40 years. | 所有录下的演出 过去四十年来上过的电视 |
[32:23] | I want you to digitize it and organize it. | 我要你数位化整理好 |
[32:26] | – Well, I’m not… – Before you say anything | -我不是‥ -在你开口前 |
[32:29] | I know, you’re a writer. | 我知道你是写手 |
[32:31] | That’s all material, honey. | 这些都是素材,亲爱的 |
[32:37] | Wha… | 待续 谢谢观赏 |