| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | – Ladies, why do compression socks always | 姊妹们，为何压力袜穿上去 |
| [00:06] | make you look like you’re about to be wheeled onto an airplane? | 感觉总像坐着轮椅 准备被推上飞机？ |
| [00:09] | They scream, “I’m old.” | 显老到不行 |
| [00:11] | Well, not me and not these. | 但我可不老，这些袜子也是 |
| [00:14] | You want compression socks | 压力袜应该要让人想到＂巴黎＂ |
| [00:15] | that say “Paris,” not “hospice.” | 而不是＂安养院＂ |
| [00:19] | You want… | 你需要‥ |
| [00:20] | God damn it, Weed! | －该死，草姐 |
| [00:21] | – You ruined another take. | －又一个镜次被你毁了 |
| [00:23] | – It’s so hot, Deb! | 里面太热了，小黛 |
| [00:25] | We need to turn on the air conditioner! | 我得把空调打开 |
| [00:27] | – Well, as soon as I get a clean take, you can. | 等我录完你就能开啦 |
| [00:30] | – Sweltering! | 热得要死 |
| [00:32] | – Uh, and, Deborah, you forgot the American flag print. | 黛博拉，你忘记美国国旗那双 |
| [00:34] | – Ugh. | |
| [00:36] | Stupid fucking American flag! Okay. | 该死的白痴美国国旗 |
| [00:39] | – Okay, uh, let’s go from Halloween. | －好‥ －我们从万圣节开始 |
| [00:41] | – All right. | 好 |
| [00:42] | Ugh, you ready? – Yeah. | －准备好了吗？ |
| [00:44] | – Okay. – Ready. | －好了 |
| [00:46] | – Now, pay special attention to these. | 我们仔细来看看这双 |
| [00:49] | Look at those little witches flying on their little brooms. | 你看这上面有小女巫 骑扫帚飞来飞去 |
| [00:52] | Look at that artistry. | 多有设计感 |
| [00:54] | Fabulous. | 真好看 |
| [00:55] | – Whew, those compression socks are fierce. | 你的压力袜真是新潮 |
| [00:58] | – What do you want? | 你要做什么？ |
| [00:59] | – Oh, uh, I was just thinking | |
| [01:00] | maybe I should stay back with Damien and Weed | 我只是觉得 |
| [01:02] | while you’re on the cruise. | 你上邮轮表演时 我该跟戴米安和草姐待在一起 |
| [01:03] | – You’re coming, and you’ll love it. | 你要一起来，而且你会喜欢的 |
| [01:05] | Cruises are fabulous, especially gay ones. | 搭邮轮最好玩了 尤其是同志邮轮 |
| [01:07] | – Sure, but being in the middle of the ocean | 是没错 |
| [01:09] | is maybe the scariest thing I can imagine, | 但我最大的恐惧就是被困在海上 |
| [01:11] | since I can’t swim. | 毕竟我不会游泳 |
| [01:14] | – You can’t? – Yeah, I told you that. | 你不会游泳？ |
| [01:17] | – Huh. | 对，我跟你说过了 |
| [01:19] | Must have blocked it out ’cause it’s so sad. | 我大概是当耳边风了 听起来好可悲 |
| [01:21] | You’ll wear a life jacket. – All right. | 你可以穿救生衣啊 |
| [01:23] | I guess gay men will be a good test audience | 好吧，男同志应该也很适合 |
| [01:25] | for the show, so it’s good if I’m there. | 测试表演题材 |
| [01:27] | – No. No, no, no, no, no. | －我在也好 －不行‥ |
| [01:28] | No. This is a money gig. | 这场是要赚钱的 |
| [01:30] | The people want the old stuff. | 他们要听老段子 |
| [01:31] | I’m doing the classics for my people. | 我要表演经典段子 给我的同温层听 |
| [01:35] | – Wealth hoarders? | 死有钱人？ |
| [01:39] | – Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [01:41] | – Okay. | 好了‥ |
| [01:42] | Fucking hell. | 该死 |
| [01:44] | Fuck! | |
| [01:48] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [01:49] | – I was like, “Listen, bitch. | 我说＂死八婆听好＂ |
| [01:51] | You have cankles. Don’t tell me what to do.” | ＂你脚踝超胖 |
| [01:53] | – Mm. | 少对我发号施令＂ |
| [01:54] | – Mark, do you want some of this? | 马克，来一点吧？ |
| [01:55] | – Okay, again, it is Marcus. | 我再说一次，我叫马可斯 |
| [01:57] | And no, I have a breakfast meeting across town. | 不用了 我早上要去别的地方开会 |
| [02:00] | – Wait, you’re going to work right now? | 你要直接去上班？ |
| [02:01] | Yup, it is 7:00 a.m. | 已经早上七点了 |
| [02:02] | – Babe, we’re your friends, and you need to make sure | 帅哥，我们当你是朋友 |
| [02:05] | you’re prioritizing your mental health, okay? | 才提醒你要把心理健康摆第一 |
| [02:07] | – Seriously, like, we’re not doing double shifts | 真的，我们这周 |
| [02:09] | until this weekend so we can have the week off. | 到周末前都不连续值班 这礼拜才能放假 |
| [02:11] | – Okay, no offense, but I’m not a waiter. | 我没有别的意思 |
| [02:13] | – I’m a CEO. – Okay, Gru. | 但我不是服务生，我是执行长 好喔，格鲁 |
| [02:18] | – Who is Gru? | 谁是格鲁？ |
| [02:19] | – From “Despicable Me.” | ＂神偷奶爸＂那个啊 |
| [02:20] | Leader of the Minions, honey. | 小小兵的老大啊，亲爱的 |
| [02:24] | – Oh, shit, can I get a couple Addies? | 讨厌，能给我两颗聪明药吗？ |
| [02:26] | – David, you just literally did cocaine. | 大卫，你才嗑完古柯碱 |
| [02:28] | – Yeah, I did. It’s gone now. | 对啊，嗑完了，药效退了 |
| [02:30] | – Here. | 给你 |
| [02:32] | All right, I’ll see you guys tomorrow night. | －明晚再见了 |
| [02:33] | – Okay, go make a deal, Gru. | －好 |
| [02:35] | – Bye, Gru! | －谈一笔好生意喔，格鲁 －格鲁再见 |
| [02:37] | Bye, boys. | 再见了 |
| [02:38] | – Wait, let’s crush this. Let’s crush this. | －快把它们压碎 |
| [02:39] | – Okay. | －好 |
| [02:42] | – Huh. Lot of ladies. | 好多女的 |
| [02:46] | – Hey, Deb! – Oh, my God. | －小黛 －我的天啊 |
| [02:48] | Margaret Cho. | 赵牡丹 |
| [02:50] | Great to see you. You look great. | 见到你真开心，你气色真好 |
| [02:52] | – You look great. – Thanks. | －你也好漂亮 －谢啦 |
| [02:54] | So how were they? – Uh, | 他们怎么样？ |
| [02:56] | audiences, B-minus, | 观众差强人意 |
| [02:58] | but the cunnilingus, A-plus. | 但是舌上功夫超棒 |
| [03:00] | – Huh. | |
| [03:02] | I-I thought this was a gay cruise. | 我以为是同志邮轮 |
| [03:05] | – It is. | 是啊 |
| [03:07] | Lesbians. | 女同志 |
| [03:12] | Good luck, Deb. | 加油啰，小黛 |
| [03:16] | ♪ ♪ – Oh. This is amazing. | 太棒了 |
| [03:22] | No wonder you love cruises. | 难怪你喜欢搭邮轮 |
| [03:23] | They’re like the Vegas of the sea. | 简直是海上的赌城 |
| [03:25] | – No, it’s terrible. | 完蛋了，男同志爱我 |
| [03:26] | Gay men get me. They always have. | 他们一直都懂我 |
| [03:29] | Lesbians aren’t my crowd. | 但女同志不是我的受众 |
| [03:30] | And they’re crawling all over this boat. | 而且船上到处都是女同志 |
| [03:32] | – Oh, it’s not a boat. It’s a ship. | 这不是船，这是邮轮 |
| [03:34] | – See? They don’t like me for some reason. | 你看，不知为何 她们就是不喜欢我 |
| [03:37] | – Could it be your hundreds of thousands | 会不会是因为你多年来 |
| [03:39] | of jokes at their expense over the years? | 不停消遣她们？ |
| [03:44] | – I think they feel threatened. – Okay. | 我看她们是觉得被威胁 |
| [03:47] | I actually meant this was amazing for me, so… | 好吧，反正我是说我觉得很棒 |
| [03:50] | – Nice Chacos! | 凉鞋真好看 |
| [03:51] | – Nice Chacos to you. | 你的也是喔 |
| [03:54] | – What’d you say? | 你说什么？ |
| [04:00] | – Hey. | |
| [04:01] | Do you guys by any chance make mocktails? | 你们有无酒精调酒吗？ |
| [04:03] | – Yup, what can I get you? | 有，想喝什么？ |
| [04:04] | – I’m trying not to drink alcohol right now | 我正在努力不要碰酒 |
| [04:06] | ’cause I make very bad decisions when I do, | 因为我喝了酒就会做蠢事 |
| [04:07] | which I know is like, “Duh,” | 我知道这样很正常啦 |
| [04:09] | but when I think about the person… | 但每次我想到一个人‥ |
| [04:10] | – What can I get you? | 你要喝什么？ |
| [04:12] | – Could you do a nonalcoholic frosé? | 请给我无酒精的冰雪桃红酒 |
| [04:13] | – Yeah. | 好的 |
| [04:17] | – Well, hello there, m’lady. | 小姐，你好 |
| [04:20] | – Hey, how’s it going? | 你好 |
| [04:21] | – I don’t think I have seen you | 我没在这种邮轮上见过你 |
| [04:22] | on one of these trips before. | |
| [04:24] | – No, uh, first time, so… | 我是第一次搭 |
| [04:26] | – I know I’d remember that strawberry mane. | 你的红色秀发 |
| [04:29] | Lord. | 我若见过是不会忘记的 天啊 |
| [04:32] | – Yeah. – I’m Linda. | －是啊 |
| [04:34] | – Uh, Ava. | －我叫琳达 |
| [04:36] | Nice to meet you. | 我叫艾娃，幸会 |
| [04:37] | – Ava. – Oh. | 好名字 |
| [04:44] | Wow. Who are they? – Oh, them. | 她们是谁啊？ |
| [04:49] | They come on all these cruises. | 她们啊 每次有这种邮轮行程都会来 |
| [04:51] | They’re a real Lavender Travel “it” couple. | 货真价实的神仙眷侣 |
| [04:53] | – So they’re together? – Oh, yeah. | －她们在一起？ |
| [04:55] | But a lot of people open their relationships at sea. | －是啊 但很多人出了海，关系也开放了 |
| [05:00] | Rules on land don’t apply, you know? | 陆地上的规矩不适用了，懂吗？ |
| [05:03] | – Right. | －是喔，真有道理 |
| [05:04] | That makes so much sense. – Right. | －对吧？ |
| [05:06] | – Water is different from land. | 水‥ 和陆地就不一样嘛 |
| [05:10] | Can you dump alcohol in that? | 能帮我加酒精进去吗？ |
| [05:14] | – Your pheromones are rocking, mama. | 你正散发浓浓费洛蒙啊，美人 |
| [05:18] | Yeah. | 是喔 |
| [05:21] | – I’ve been trying you. | 我一直在找你 |
| [05:23] | Your assistant said you were at anger management? | 你的助理说你去上情绪管理课？ |
| [05:24] | – She’s not supposed to tell people that, but yes. | 她其实不该跟别人说 |
| [05:26] | Uh, it’s horrible. | 但没错 |
| [05:28] | Russell Crowe is my accountability partner. | 很恐怖，我的搭档是罗素克洛 |
| [05:30] | – Does he scream a lot? | 他会一直咆啸吗？ |
| [05:31] | – Worse. He just whispers. | 更糟糕，他会用气音说话 |
| [05:33] | Pretty sure he’s a climate terrorist, | 他应该是气候变迁激进份子 |
| [05:34] | because he talks a lot | 因为他一直说 |
| [05:36] | about “finding the oilmen in their homes.” | 要去挖石油的人家里算账 |
| [05:38] | – Oh, my God. – Chilling. | －我的天啊 －不寒而栗 |
| [05:40] | Anyway, how are you? – Not great. | －你怎么样？ －不太好 |
| [05:42] | I’m surrounded by lesbians. | 我被女同志包围了 |
| [05:45] | – Huh. I did want to talk to you, actually, about the casino showcase. – Oh, good. | 我之前就想跟你谈谈赌场的演出 |
| [05:49] | – Okay, hear me out. Kind of interesting idea here. | －好啊 －你听我说 这个点子满有意思的 |
| [05:52] | What do you think about a residency | 你觉得在特里伯赌场 |
| [05:55] | at Terrible’s casino? | 驻场表演如何？ |
| [05:57] | – Jimmy, Terrible’s is 40 minutes off the Strip. | 吉米，特里伯离赌城大道 有四十分钟车程耶 |
| [05:59] | – I know. I know it’s not ideal. | 我知道，是不太理想 |
| [06:02] | Look, I have been having some trouble | 但赌城大道上的饭店都谈不成 |
| [06:04] | booking casinos on the Strip | |
| [06:05] | or, honestly, even slightly off the Strip. | 其实大道附近的都是 |
| [06:10] | – Well, just, you know, | 那就‥ |
| [06:13] | keep… keep on ’em. | 继续谈吧 |
| [06:14] | – Yeah, I-I will. | 好，我知道 |
| [06:16] | And, um, good luck with the, um, lesbians. | 祝你跟女同志们相处愉快 |
| [06:20] | – Yeah, thanks, Jimmy. Okay. | 好，谢啦，吉米 |
| [06:22] | I’ll talk to you later. Bye-bye. | 我们再聊，再见 |
| [06:24] | – Hey. How’s Jimmy? | |
| [06:26] | – He’s good, and good news about the showcase. | －吉米还好吗？ －他很好，演出有好消息 |
| [06:29] | MGM is very interested. – Amazing. | 米高梅很有兴趣 |
| [06:31] | And in more amazing news, I’ve been thinking. | 太好了，还有更棒的喔 |
| [06:34] | And since we’re in international waters, | 我一直在想 反正我们都到公海了 |
| [06:36] | I think it’s different, and so I can drink. | 我觉得我应该可以喝酒了 |
| [06:39] | – I don’t care. | 我才不在乎 |
| [06:40] | These are just artificial rules | 那只是你给自己设下的规定 |
| [06:42] | you make up for yourself. | |
| [06:44] | You should be writing jokes for me. | 你现在应该要帮我写段子 |
| [06:46] | I mean, you speak lesbian, right, | 你能跟她们沟通吧？ |
| [06:48] | ’cause you’re half? – Deborah. | 你也算半个女同志 |
| [06:50] | – Deborah Vance? | －黛博拉 －黛博拉凡斯？ |
| [06:52] | Oh, my God, I can’t believe you’re on this cruise. | 你居然会在这艘邮轮上 |
| [06:54] | – Hi. – See? You have fans here. | 看吧，有你的喜剧迷 |
| [06:56] | – I bought a pair of your jean-ish ankle leggings on QVC. | 我在购物台买了 |
| [06:59] | – Oh, one of the best sellers, yeah. | 你的仿牛仔紧身裤 畅销单品呢 |
| [07:02] | Feels like you’re not wearing pants. | 如同没穿裤子一样轻盈 |
| [07:03] | Cheaper than taking a family of four to the movies. | 比一家四口的电影票还便宜 |
| [07:06] | – Yeah, well, the elastic band gave out after one wash. | 松紧带下水一次就坏掉了 |
| [07:09] | I’ve been trying to return them for months. | 我这几个月一直退货无门 |
| [07:12] | – Oh. Well, you know what? | |
| [07:14] | I think you’ll find that if you contact | 这样吧，你去联系 |
| [07:16] | our crack QVC customer care service team, | 我们的购物台客服 |
| [07:18] | they will take care of you in a jiffy. | 他们肯定很快帮你处理好 |
| [07:20] | You’ll have to excuse us. We’re going to the buffet. | 失陪了，我们要去吃自助餐 |
| [07:22] | – Mm. I’ve been wanting to go the buffet. | －我一直想去吃自助餐 |
| [07:24] | – I would never. | －我死都不去 |
| [07:26] | I’m not gonna eat food that’s been seasoned | 我才不要吃这种 |
| [07:27] | with the breath of 300 people, thank you very much. | 被三百人口水加料的食物 |
| [07:29] | – Okay, well, I’m gonna go. | －敬谢不敏 －那我自己去 |
| [07:31] | – Bon appétit. | 用餐愉快 |
| [07:34] | – ♪ Gotta let a woman be a woman ♪ | |
| [07:38] | ♪ And let a man be a man ♪ | |
| [07:40] | – I’m fairly certain I sent that email. | 我确定寄过信了 |
| [07:42] | Is there no way to avoid delay? | 没办法避免延期吗？ |
| [07:43] | Jesus. | 搞屁啊 |
| [07:45] | No, not you. Sorry. | 不是说你，抱歉 |
| [07:46] | Let me call you right back. | 我晚点回你电话 |
| [07:49] | What are you doing here? | 你们在这里做什么？ |
| [07:50] | I told you I needed to get work done today. | 我说了今天有工作要完成 |
| [07:52] | – Well, Joe looked like he needed a belly rub. | 乔乔看起来想要被搔肚肚嘛 |
| [07:55] | – What do you mean looked like? – Well, | 什么叫＂看起来＂？ |
| [07:57] | we watch the puppy on the puppy cam all day. | 我们用你的宠物监视器 看了狗狗一整天 |
| [08:00] | – What? Why? | 什么‥为什么？ |
| [08:01] | – Well, because we needed a puppy fix | 因为我们需要被狗狗疗愈 |
| [08:04] | and you have a puppy. | 你刚好有狗狗 |
| [08:08] | – Honey, your place is a mess, by the way. | 你家真乱 |
| [08:10] | You cannot be employee of the month | 你不能又要当模范员工 |
| [08:13] | and be the last one to leave the club every night, Marcus. | 又要混夜店混到天亮啊，马可斯 |
| [08:17] | – So you break into my house, then tell me how to live. | 你们闯进我家 又要干涉我的生活？ |
| [08:19] | – Honey, I’m just trying to help. | 亲爱的，我只是想帮忙 |
| [08:21] | – Okay, Mom, stop. I’ll get it. | 妈，别弄了，我会整理 |
| [08:22] | I’ll take care of it, just like I take care | 我会照料好这里 |
| [08:24] | of you two and everything else. | 就像我照顾你们和其他事情 |
| [08:25] | – Excuse me, I am very self-sufficient. | 不好意思喔，我很自给自足 |
| [08:28] | Who are you talking to? You better check your boy. | 你是在说谁啊？ 你最好管管你儿子 |
| [08:30] | – Okay, maybe we should go. | 好，也许我们该走了 |
| [08:33] | – Yeah, I think you should. | 我也这么觉得 |
| [08:35] | And I’m changing my puppy cam password. | 我还要换掉宠物监视器密码 |
| [08:36] | – Well, good, ’cause I don’t want to see you | 很好，我才不想看你 |
| [08:38] | walk around butt-ass naked noway. | 光着屁股在家里晃 |
| [08:40] | – Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [08:42] | – ♪ Mama told me to watch out ♪ | |
| [08:46] | ♪ You better look out, look out ♪ | |
| [08:50] | – So, Dad, you always wanted to see the Caribbean. | 爸 |
| [08:56] | – Hey. – Hey. | 你都说你想看看加勒比海 |
| [08:59] | – You play? | 你会打球？ |
| [09:01] | – Oh, uh, tennis? | |
| [09:03] | Yeah, I hit. | 网球吗？ 对，我会打球 |
| [09:04] | So annoyed there’s not a court on the boat. | 可惜船上没有网球场 |
| [09:06] | – It’s a ship. – Oh, right, sorry. | 这是邮轮 对喔，抱歉 |
| [09:09] | – But, um, do you know where pool two is? | 你知道二号泳池在哪里吗？ |
| [09:11] | – Yeah. Yeah, it’s just… | 应该走过高空滑索就看到了 |
| [09:12] | I think it’s just past the zip line. | |
| [09:14] | – Thanks. | 谢了 |
| [09:18] | Are you going to the “she-ano” bar tonight? | 你晚上会去钢琴酒吧吗？ |
| [09:20] | – Uh, yeah, I’ll be there. | 会啊，我会去 |
| [09:22] | Music is… lets my soul on fire, so yeah, I’m going. – Great. | 音乐能点燃我的灵魂之火 |
| [09:29] | I can’t wait to see you then. – Uh, you… I… also. | －太好了 |
| [09:35] | – ♪ I, I, I ♪ | －我会去 |
| [09:38] | ♪ Am somebody ♪ | 真期待在那里见到你 |
| [09:41] | ♪ ♪ | 你‥我也是 |
| [09:42] | I heard there are | 听说船上有好几个奥运选手 |
| [09:44] | multiple Olympic athletes on board. | |
| [09:46] | Apparently if we were a country, | 如果这艘船是个国家 |
| [09:48] | we’d place at least fifth in medals overall… at least. | 我们的奖牌数排名至少第五名 是至少喔 |
| [09:52] | – Yippee. | 好棒喔 |
| [09:53] | – You want to come out tonight, | 晚上要一起出去吗？ |
| [09:54] | be my wingman… wing…person? | 当我的助攻兄弟‥助攻伙伴 |
| [09:58] | – No, I’m gonna stay, and I’m gonna take | 不要，我要待在房里 |
| [09:59] | one of those depression naps | 像你说的那样 |
| [10:01] | you’re always raving about. | ＂睡一场忧郁觉＂ |
| [10:02] | – Okay, jealous. | 好吧，吃醋鬼 |
| [10:06] | – Oh, no. I missed a call from Marcus. | 糟了，我没接到马可斯的电话 |
| [10:09] | Ugh, I’m gonna murder him. This is not like him. | 我要杀了他，这样真不像他 |
| [10:12] | He messed this cruise up big-time. | 他把这趟邮轮行完全毁了 |
| [10:14] | – Well, maybe you need to blow off some steam. | 也许你该纾压一下 |
| [10:16] | – No, thank you. | 不用了，谢谢 |
| [10:17] | But if you’re planning on seducing | 如果你想勾引这些女人 |
| [10:19] | any of these women out there, you should fix your nails. | 最好是剪一下指甲 |
| [10:22] | – I did them. They’re beautiful. | 我剪了，很漂亮啊 |
| [10:23] | – Yeah, if you did them while riding a jackhammer. | 好像用电钻修的一样 |
| [10:25] | No, look, | |
| [10:27] | let me clean them up. | 真是，我帮你修一下 |
| [10:28] | – Okay. | －好吧 |
| [10:31] | Marty. | －坐‥ 马提 |
| [10:34] | Why is Marty FaceTiming me? | 马提要跟我视讯？ |
| [10:36] | – FaceTime at night? Maybe he wants to, you know. | 晚上视讯？ 他可能想要‥ |
| [10:39] | – No. | 不可能 |
| [10:40] | How’s my lipstick? | －我的口红怎么样？ －很美 |
| [10:41] | It looks good. | －我的口红怎么样？ －很美 |
| [10:43] | Shit, why does he do these things to me? | 他干吗要这样整我呢？ |
| [10:46] | – Oh, my God, you’re stunning. | 天啊，你太美了 |
| [10:50] | – Hey, hey. Hello. | |
| [10:52] | – God damn it. Chunked that one. | 你好啊 可恶，凿地了 |
| [10:54] | – Hello? Marty. | 喂？ |
| [10:56] | – Oh, hey, Deb. | 马提 |
| [10:59] | I must have butt-dialed you. | 小黛，我大概是去压到手机了 |
| [11:01] | How you doing? | 你还好吗？ |
| [11:02] | – Oh, um, I’m great. I’m good. How are you? | 好极了，我很好，你呢？ |
| [11:05] | – I’m over 90 with three holes to go. | 我已经超过九十杆了 但还差三洞没打 |
| [11:07] | But other than that, I’m doing great. | 其他都还不错 |
| [11:10] | – Over 90 with three holes to go? | 超过九十还差三个洞？ |
| [11:12] | You sound like Hugh Hefner. | 听起来像花花公子啊 |
| [11:13] | Listen, I gotta run. Take care. Hey, thanks for calling, Deb. | 我要走了，你保重啊 |
| [11:17] | I didn’t call… | －谢谢你打来啊 －不是我打‥ |
| [11:23] | – Golf is racist, right? | 打高尔夫球超种族歧视的吧？ |
| [11:26] | – Go wash your hands. – Absolutely. | －去洗手 |
| [11:31] | ♪ ♪ | －没问题 |
| [11:39] | Can I ask you something? | 我能问个问题吗？ |
| [11:41] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [11:43] | – You know, with all the invasive questions | 你每次问侵略性很强的问题 |
| [11:45] | you ask without permission, I can only imagine what | 都不会先问我 |
| [11:48] | perverse road we’re about to go down. | 真不知道这次 会是什么糟糕的话题 |
| [11:50] | – No, it’s just… | 不是啦 |
| [11:52] | I’ve been thinking about the way | 我只是在想你表演时 |
| [11:54] | you talk about sex in your act, and… | 讨论到性的方式 |
| [11:58] | you have all these jokes about unfulfilling sex with men. | 你常常戏称跟男性做爱 总是欲求不满 |
| [12:03] | – It’s just a part of my shtick. | 这是我的卖点啰 |
| [12:05] | – Right, but… | 是没错 |
| [12:08] | that plus what I think would be considered | 此外，再加上‥ |
| [12:10] | an abundance of k.d. lang material… | 为数不少的出柜女同志笑话 |
| [12:14] | I’m not trying to negate your identity, but… | 我不是要否定你的认同，只是‥ |
| [12:18] | Have you ever considered | 你有没有想过 |
| [12:21] | being with a woman? | 和女人在一起？ |
| [12:23] | – Yeah. | 有啊 |
| [12:24] | I’m with one right now, and I wish I wasn’t. | 我现在就和你在一起，真后悔 |
| [12:27] | – Okay. Come on. | 说嘛 |
| [12:30] | – I like men. | 我喜欢男人 |
| [12:31] | So no, I’ve never considered it. | 所以我没有考虑过女人 |
| [12:33] | There are times that I wished I was gay | 有时候我确实希望自己是同志 |
| [12:36] | because I think dating women would be | 因为我觉得跟女人交往简单多了 |
| [12:38] | a hell of a lot easier. | |
| [12:40] | – But it wouldn’t have actually been, right? | 但其实不是这样吧？ |
| [12:43] | To be queer when you grew up? | 在你那个年代当酷儿这种事 |
| [12:47] | – No, no, it wouldn’t have been. | 没错，肯定不容易 |
| [12:50] | But doesn’t really matter. | 但其实没差 |
| [12:51] | You know, I got a crush on Paul McCartney | 我七年级时很迷保罗麦卡尼 |
| [12:53] | in seventh grade and never looked back. | 从那时起就确定了 |
| [12:55] | – That is the straightest Beatle to have a crush on. | 他确实是最受异女喜欢的披头士 |
| [12:57] | But have you ever considered, like, why you like men? | 但你想过自己为何喜欢男人吗？ |
| [13:03] | – I don’t understand that question. | 我不懂这个问题 |
| [13:05] | In my day, there were two options: | 我那个年代就只有两个选择 |
| [13:07] | you liked one, or you liked the other. | 不是男的就是女的 |
| [13:08] | I mean, why do some people like jazz, | 就像有人喜欢爵士乐 |
| [13:10] | some people like classical? | 有人喜欢古典乐 |
| [13:11] | You just like what you like. | 喜欢不需要原因吧 |
| [13:13] | – Sure, but that’s the thing. | 对，但这就是问题所在 |
| [13:15] | I have listened to all kinds of music, | 我已经听过各种不同的音乐了 |
| [13:20] | and I’m not saying you’re wrong to like men… | 不是说你喜欢男人是错的 |
| [13:22] | I am into men too, sadly… | 我也喜欢男人，可怜啊 |
| [13:24] | but I just, like… | 只是‥ |
| [13:28] | I’ve realized that sometimes I conflate the rush I feel | 我发现我会搞混 |
| [13:32] | when a man shows interest in me | 受到男性关注时的兴奋感 |
| [13:34] | with actual feelings of attraction, | 和真正的吸引力 |
| [13:36] | which makes sense because it feels good | 这其实也很合理 |
| [13:38] | to get attention from the group that’s held up as, like, | 因为被社会上的＂菁英份子＂ |
| [13:40] | the leader gods of society or whatever. | 注意到的感觉很棒 |
| [13:44] | – But I thought you were born gay or straight, | 我以为性向是出生时就决定的 |
| [13:47] | and I have conceded that there are | 当然我知道有些天选之人 |
| [13:49] | an elite few that are born bisexual. | 出生就是双性恋 |
| [13:52] | I mean, isn’t that what your generation’s all about, | 你们这一代不是很崇尚 |
| [13:54] | you know, “born this way”? | 这种＂天生如此＂的风气吗？ |
| [13:56] | – I just think there’s room for more nuance. | 我只是觉得应该 |
| [13:57] | Like, not every queer person feels like they arrive | 有更多的灰色地带 |
| [14:02] | into existence with an attraction to, like, | 并非所有酷儿都是一出生 |
| [14:04] | a specific kind of person, and that’s okay too. | 就知道自己对特定族群感兴趣 这样也没关系 |
| [14:08] | Your sexuality isn’t a choice, | 你无法选择你的性倾向 |
| [14:11] | but whether or not you examine it, I think, is. | 但愿不愿意去思考它 |
| [14:17] | – Hmm. | 就是你的选择 |
| [14:20] | – Do you even know where you are on the Kinsey scale? | 你知道自己的金赛量表结果吗？ |
| [14:22] | It’s a really handy tool. | 这个表很好用的 |
| [14:23] | So it measures your orientation from zero to six. | 把人的性倾向分成六个等级 |
| [14:25] | I could pull it up on my phone. | |
| [14:27] | I just, like, keep it open on a tab… | 我拿手机开给你看 我不关分页的 |
| [14:28] | – I know what the Kinsey scale is. | 我知道金赛量表是什么 |
| [14:30] | Thank you, Professor, for the seminar. | 谢谢你的解说，教授 |
| [14:32] | The Kinsey scale is older than I am. | 金赛量表比我还老 |
| [14:35] | Oh, God, I just depressed myself. | 天啊，我害自己心情好差 |
| [14:36] | I do need to go out for a drink. | 我需要出去喝一杯 |
| [14:38] | – Whoa, whoa. What about the rest of my manicure? | 我的指甲还没修完耶 |
| [14:40] | – Oh, who cares? | 谁在乎啊，把左手藏在口袋里 |
| [14:41] | Just put your left hand in your pocket. | |
| [14:43] | If it’ll fit. | 假如塞得进去 |
| [14:47] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [14:50] | – Thank you. Thanks. | 谢谢‥ |
| [14:52] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [14:55] | That’s them. – Hmm? | 就是她们 |
| [14:59] | Oh. | |
| [15:01] | And have you examined why you feel attracted to these gals? | 你想过自己为什么 受这些女孩子吸引吗？ |
| [15:07] | Because they’re extremely hot. | 因为她们极度性感 |
| [15:09] | – Mm-hmm. | |
| [15:10] | But do you feel that society | 你觉得这种想法 |
| [15:11] | has programmed you to feel this way? | 是不是受到社会的影响？ |
| [15:14] | – You know, not society at large. | 主要不是社会的问题 |
| [15:17] | More so “The L Word” | 主要是因为爱 |
| [15:18] | and the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team. | 和美国女子足球国家队 |
| [15:21] | Okay, I’ll be your wingman. Okay. | 好吧，我帮你助攻 |
| [15:27] | Watch and learn. | 学着点吧 |
| [15:32] | Excuse me, ladies. | 不好意思，小姐们 |
| [15:33] | Would you settle a bet for us? | 你们能帮我们评评理吗？ |
| [15:35] | – Sure. | – Sure. 当然好‥ |
| [15:36] | – I gave my… | 我帮我没有肉体关系的旅伴 |
| [15:38] | platonic traveling partner a manicure on one hand only, | 修了其中一只手的指甲 |
| [15:42] | and we want you to pick the one you think is best. | 想请你们帮忙选出 哪只手的指甲比较漂亮 |
| [15:44] | – Yeah, let’s see it. | 给我们看看 |
| [15:48] | The right. | 右手‥ |
| [15:51] | – Wow, your hands are so soft. – Insane. | －你的手好细喔 －真的 |
| [15:54] | – Oh, that’s the Sisleya L’Integral Anti-Age | 那是法国名牌高级抗老护手霜 |
| [15:56] | Hand Care Concentrate. | |
| [15:58] | It’s all about active botanicals. | 都是活性植物成分 |
| [16:00] | – You guys into botanicals? | 你们喜欢植物吗？ |
| [16:03] | – Well, to be honest, | 说真的，我们觉得是二元性向 |
| [16:05] | we think it’s a binary and… | |
| [16:07] | you’re just born gay or straight. | －天生就是同性或异性恋 |
| [16:08] | – Totally, totally. 100%. | －当然‥ 绝对是这样子 |
| [16:14] | – Oh, fuck. | 可恶 |
| [16:16] | – Well, listen, we gotta go meet up | 是这样的 |
| [16:18] | with a date for the rest of the night. | 我们今晚和一个对象有约了 |
| [16:19] | – Okay, well, uh, nice talking to you guys. | 很高兴能和你们聊天 |
| [16:22] | – Would you want to hang tomorrow? | 要不要约明天？ |
| [16:24] | Drinks by the pool at, like, 10:00? | 十点钟在泳池边喝一杯？ |
| [16:27] | – Yes, that would be… yeah, that’d be great. | 好啊 那太‥太好了 |
| [16:31] | – Cool. – Great. | －那好 －好极了 |
| [16:32] | Well, we’ll see you then. – All right. | －到时候见了 －好的 |
| [16:33] | – Nice to meet you. | – Nice to meet you. －很高兴认识你们 －我也是 |
| [16:42] | – I’m on the books. | 我有约了 |
| [16:49] | – You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [16:50] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [16:59] | – I’m sorry, I hate to be that person, but… | 不好意思，我不想打扰你 |
| [17:03] | I’m such a fan. | 但我真的很喜欢你 |
| [17:05] | – Oh, please don’t apologize. I love you being that person. | 千万别道歉，我最喜欢被你打扰 |
| [17:10] | – You’re hilarious. – Oh. | 你真幽默 |
| [17:12] | – No, but seriously, you’re just | 真的，你太厉害了 |
| [17:13] | so amazing in everything that you do. | |
| [17:15] | Thank you. | －你做的那些事情 －谢谢 |
| [17:17] | – Marla. – Oh, Deborah. | 我是玛拉 黛博拉 |
| [17:19] | – Nice to meet you. | 幸会 |
| [17:21] | Well, I don’t want to take any more | 幸会 |
| [17:22] | of your time, uh, Deborah, | 我就不占用你的时间了，黛博拉 |
| [17:24] | but I just… thank you, thanks. | 谢谢你 |
| [17:28] | – Marla. – Yeah? | 玛拉？ 怎么了？ |
| [17:33] | – Would you like to buy me a drink? | 你愿意请我喝一杯吗？ |
| [17:36] | – Absolutely. | 当然愿意 |
| [17:41] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
| [17:48] | – ♪ When I knew I had ♪ | ＂当我知道自己必须‥＂ |
| [17:50] | – Oh. | |
| [17:52] | Oh, I love that song. | 我好爱这首歌 |
| [17:53] | I’m sorry. I’m sorry. | I’m sorry. 不好意思‥ |
| [17:56] | I’ve gotta… I’ve gotta get closer. | 我得坐前面一点 |
| [18:00] | – ♪ Before for the day I met you ♪ | ＂认识你之前＂ |
| [18:03] | ♪ Life was so unkind ♪ | ＂我看尽人生的凉薄＂ |
| [18:05] | ♪ You’re the key to my peace of mind ♪ | ＂你就是我通往平静的钥匙＂ |
| [18:09] | ♪ ‘Cause you make me feel ♪ | ＂你让我觉得‥＂ |
| [18:12] | ♪ You make me feel ♪ | |
| [18:15] | ♪ You make me feel ♪ | ＂你让我觉得 |
| [18:17] | ♪ Like a natural woman ♪ | 自己是个自在的女人＂ |
| [18:20] | – I’m sorry. I’m gonna take this now. | －抱歉，我要抢走麦克风了 |
| [18:23] | ♪ And when my soul was in the lost and found ♪ | －没关系 ＂当我的灵魂被弃置一旁＂ |
| [18:29] | ♪ You came along to claim it ♪ | ＂是你前来认领＂ |
| [18:32] | – Oh. | |
| [18:34] | – ♪ I didn’t know just what was wrong with me ♪ | ＂我也不知道自己是怎么回事＂ |
| [18:40] | ♪ Till your kiss helped me name it ♪ | ＂你的吻让我了解到问题所在＂ |
| [18:44] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [18:45] | ♪ Now I’m no longer doubtful ♪ | ＂现在的我不再浑浑噩噩＂ |
| [18:48] | ♪ Of what I’m living for ♪ | ＂不再没有生活重心＂ |
| [18:51] | ♪ And if I make you happy, I don’t have to do more ♪ | ＂只要能让你快乐 我还有什么遗憾＂ |
| [18:55] | ♪ ‘Cause you make me feel ♪ | ＂因为你让我觉得‥＂ |
| [18:58] | ♪ You make me feel ♪ | |
| [19:01] | ♪ You make me feel like a natural woman ♪ | ＂你让我觉得 |
| [19:09] | – ♪ Oh, baby, what you done to me ♪ | 自己是个自在的女人＂ |
| [19:12] | ♪ Done to me ♪ | ＂宝贝，你对我施的魔法＂ |
| [19:14] | – ♪ You make me feel so good inside ♪ | ＂让我的内心欢喜＂ |
| [19:19] | ♪ Good inside ♪ | |
| [19:21] | – ♪ And I just want to be ♪ | ＂我只想要‥＂ |
| [19:24] | ♪ Want to be ♪ | |
| [19:26] | ♪ Close to you, you make me feel so alive ♪ | ＂靠近你 感受你带给我的活力＂ |
| [19:30] | ♪ You make me feel ♪ | ＂你让我觉得‥＂ |
| [19:33] | ♪ You make me feel ♪ | |
| [19:35] | ♪ You make me feel like a natural woman ♪ | ＂你让我觉得 自己是个自在的女人＂ |
| [19:42] | ♪ You make me feel ♪ | ＂你让我觉得‥＂ |
| [19:44] | ♪ You make me feel ♪ | |
| [19:47] | ♪ You make me feel like a natural woman ♪ | ＂你让我觉得 |
| [19:56] | ♪ ♪ | 自己是个自在的女人＂ |
| [20:09] | – Hey, hey, hey. How ’bout another one? Yeah! | 再一首如何？ |
| [20:18] | – Okay, that cover needs to be on iTunes. | 你昨天唱的应该要上架 |
| [20:20] | – Oh! – Stop. | 好了啦 |
| [20:25] | Ava, Ava, Ava, I was thinking about | 艾娃‥ |
| [20:26] | what you said last night, and look at me. | 我在想你昨天说的话 |
| [20:28] | Look at me. I’m eating at the buffet. | 你看看我，我在吃自助餐 |
| [20:30] | – Buffets aren’t inherently queer, but sure. | 自助餐不是天生的酷儿 |
| [20:33] | – See you at your show tonight, Deb. | 但也好 期待今晚的表演喔，小黛 |
| [20:35] | – Oh, can’t wait. | 我也是 |
| [20:37] | I can’t believe how wrong I was. | 我之前居然是大错特错 |
| [20:39] | I mean, I should have embraced lesbians years ago. | 我好几年前就该 拥抱女同志族群了 |
| [20:42] | They love women, and I’m a fabulous one. | 她们喜欢女人，我这么漂亮 |
| [20:45] | I mean, it just makes perfect sense. | 一点问题都没有 |
| [20:47] | I’m a high femme, apparently. | 我显然是＂抢手婆＂ |
| [20:50] | Just learned that in the buffet line. | 刚才排队时知道的 |
| [20:53] | Nice Chacos. | 凉鞋真好看 |
| [20:56] | – Ladies and ladies, | 各位女士们 |
| [20:58] | please welcome to the stage | 请热烈欢迎‥ |
| [21:01] | Deborah Vance! | 黛博拉凡斯 |
| [21:08] | – Oh, no. | 糟了 |
| [21:10] | She’s doing Ellen. | 她在学艾伦 |
| [21:11] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [21:13] | – ♪ With the air, like I don’t care ♪ | |
| [21:16] | ♪ Baby, by the way ♪ | |
| [21:18] | – ♪ Because I’m happy ♪ | |
| [21:20] | – ♪ Clap along if you feel ♪ | |
| [21:22] | ♪ Like a room without a roof ♪ | |
| [21:26] | – You know, I gotta say, | 我不得不说啊 |
| [21:27] | I can’t believe so many women came tonight… And all at the same time. | 真不敢相信 |
| [21:33] | – ♪ Clap along if you feel ♪ ♪ Like that’s what you want to do ♪ | 今晚有这么多女人＂到了＂ |
| [21:37] | ♪ ♪ – ♪ I need your love, I need your love ♪ | 而且还是同时到呢 |
| [21:45] | – So now I’m like, “Fuck it, I’m gonna start voting.” | 所以我现在不管了 我要开始投票了 |
| [21:49] | – Wait, you never voted before? | 你之前没投过票？ |
| [21:53] | – You want some? – What is it? | －你要吗？ －什么东西？ |
| [21:55] | – Whiskey, we snuck it in. – God. | －威士忌，我们偷带进来的 －不要 |
| [21:57] | Here. Open up a tab and get whatever you want. | 来，另外开一单 想喝什么随便点 |
| [22:00] | – Yes! – Thanks, Daddy. Excuse me. | 谢啦，干爹 |
| [22:02] | ♪ ♪ | 借过 |
| [22:05] | – ♪ Could you be the one to call ♪ | |
| [22:08] | – Be right back. | 我马上回来 |
| [22:09] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [22:13] | Oh, my God, hi. | 天啊，你好啊 |
| [22:14] | – Oh. Whoa. | 天啊，你好啊 |
| [22:16] | – It’s so good to see you. | 真高兴见到你 |
| [22:18] | – I thought you hated clubs. | 我以为你讨厌跑夜店 |
| [22:20] | – Oh, I do. But now I like it. | 没错 但现在很喜欢 |
| [22:23] | Oh, my God, how was Zion? “Zi-un”? | 天啊，锡安怎么样？ 还是叫赛安？ |
| [22:25] | – Zion. It was really fun. | 锡安，满好玩的 |
| [22:29] | – I really wanted to go, but… | 我真的很想去 |
| [22:30] | I guess I really fucked that up. | 但我大概是搞砸了 |
| [22:33] | I don’t know what’s wrong with me. | 我也不知道自己怎么回事 |
| [22:35] | – I don’t really think this is the place to have that convo. | 我觉得这里不适合聊这些 |
| [22:37] | But maybe we can talk another time. | 我们再找时间谈吧 |
| [22:39] | – We can’t. | 没办法 |
| [22:40] | I blocked your number. | 我封锁你的号码了 |
| [22:42] | – Oh, okay. Wow. – Yeah. I had to. | 好喔 非这么做不可 |
| [22:45] | I don’t trust myself not to call or text you. | 不然我会忍不住 |
| [22:48] | And if I do call or text you, I don’t trust myself | 想打给你或传讯息给你 |
| [22:50] | not to tell you that I love you, | 然后就会忍不住跟你说我爱你 |
| [22:52] | which I shouldn’t say ’cause you don’t love me back. | 但我不该那样说的 因为你不爱我 |
| [22:55] | I’m saying it now because I’m on Molly. | 我现在跟你说是因为我嗑了药 |
| [22:57] | – Molly. – Yeah. | －嗑药啊 －没错 |
| [23:00] | – Got ya. | 我懂了 |
| [23:01] | – But I do mean what I’m saying. | 但我说的都是真心话 |
| [23:03] | I’m just saying it ’cause I’m on Molly. | 只是现在嗑了药才说出口 |
| [23:05] | – Well, yeah, I heard you the first time. | 我刚才就听到了 |
| [23:06] | Are you here with anyone? – Yeah. | －你跟别人一起来的吗？ －对 |
| [23:09] | Over there. | 那几个 |
| [23:11] | – Oh, those guys. | －他们啊 |
| [23:13] | – Yeah. | －没错 |
| [23:15] | – Wilson, I want you to meet someone. | 威尔森，我介绍个人给你认识 |
| [23:17] | – One sec. | 等一下 |
| [23:19] | Do you have a ride home? | 你有车回家吗？ |
| [23:21] | – Yeah. Why? | 有 |
| [23:23] | I can go with you. | 怎么了？ |
| [23:25] | – Oh. | 我也可以跟你走 |
| [23:27] | No, no. I’m just making sure. | 不是‥ 我只是确定一下 |
| [23:31] | Take care, okay? – Okay. | 自己保重，好吗？ |
| [23:34] | – ♪ Could you be the one to call ♪ ♪ When I lose control ♪ It’s terrible. | 太糟糕了 |
| [23:43] | You know, I have to tell you guys, | 我要跟你们说 |
| [23:44] | I’ve had the best time here. | 我在这里真是太开心了 |
| [23:46] | Thank you so much. | 谢谢你们 |
| [23:49] | Truly, truly. | 真的‥ |
| [23:51] | And I’m gonna tell you something honestly. | 我老实跟你们说一件事 |
| [23:53] | When I first found out I was booked on a lesbian cruise, | 当我发现自己要在 女同志邮轮表演时 |
| [23:56] | I was angry. | 我很生气 |
| [23:59] | But you have welcomed me with open arms, | 但你们如此敞开双臂接受我 |
| [24:02] | and I am so flattered. | 我真是受宠若惊 |
| [24:06] | And if you know me at all, you know | 认识我的人 |
| [24:08] | that flattery is my biggest turn-on. | 都知道我一受欢迎就会欲火焚身 |
| [24:12] | I mean, I should have known women know how to treat women. | 我早该知道女人最懂得疼惜女人 |
| [24:21] | I mean, what have I been doing | 我何必浪费那么多年 |
| [24:23] | all these years, wasting my time with men? | 跟男人瞎混？ |
| [24:25] | I mean, you have no idea what it’s like waiting around | 你们肯定不懂 |
| [24:28] | all day for your partner to finish playing golf. | 整天等另一半打完高尔夫球 是什么感觉 |
| [24:33] | Well, probably because you were both playing golf. | 大概是因为你们 |
| [24:37] | Oh, she didn’t like that one. | 会两人一起打高尔夫球 她觉得不好笑 |
| [24:40] | She must be distracted. | 肯定是在发呆 |
| [24:42] | Excuse me, miss. | 不好意思，小姐 |
| [24:44] | My jokes are up here. | 笑话在台上喔 |
| [24:45] | – Don’t worry, you’re not really my type. | 别想太多，我不喜欢你这型的 |
| [24:50] | – Oh, she’s not into me. This lesbian must be broken. | 她不喜欢我 这个拉子大概坏掉了 |
| [24:55] | – You wrote these? | 这是你写的吗？ |
| [24:57] | Doesn’t sound like you, my fuego chick. | 太不像你了吧，火辣妹子 |
| [24:59] | – No, she’s going off-book. | 不是，她在脱稿演出 |
| [25:01] | – Eh, it’s okay. Doesn’t matter. | 没关系啦，算了 |
| [25:04] | I mean, I’m out of her league, right? | 反正她高攀不起我 |
| [25:11] | Oh, come on, I’m playing. | 好啦，我只是在说笑 |
| [25:15] | I mean, I know I’m your type. | 我知道你喜欢我这型的 |
| [25:19] | Yeah, you were flirting with me all night. | 你那天整晚都在跟我打情骂俏 |
| [25:21] | – Uh, you’re not. | |
| [25:23] | I was actually just trying to get my wife | 不是耶，我只是想帮我太太 |
| [25:25] | a refund for her leggings. | 退回她的紧身裤 |
| [25:29] | – Oh, Christ. Well, you know what? | 老天 |
| [25:31] | You’re not my type either, lady. | 老实说 你也不是我喜欢的型，小姐 |
| [25:33] | You’re a lady. | 你是女生耶 |
| [25:35] | Good luck with your marriage. Your wife’s obsessed with me. | 祝你们婚姻幸福 你老婆超迷恋我的 |
| [25:38] | – No, I am not. | 我才没有‥ |
| [25:40] | No, I am not. | |
| [25:43] | – Hey, well, you, hey, you there in the second row. | 那边那个第二排的 |
| [25:45] | I mean, would you date me? I mean, you’re reading a book. | 你会跟我交往吗？ |
| [25:48] | – Um, actually, I’m married to the captain. | 你在看书呢 我跟船长结婚了 |
| [25:51] | – The captain. Oh, God. Bring him out. | 船长，天啊 |
| [25:53] | I love a man in uniform. | 快叫他出来 我最喜欢穿制服的男人 |
| [25:55] | – She’s a woman. | 她是女的 |
| [25:57] | – The captain’s a woman? | 船长是女的？ |
| [26:00] | Oh, God. | 老天啊 |
| [26:02] | Hope we don’t have to parallel park this thing. | 希望她知道怎么靠岸停船 |
| [26:05] | Oh, please. | 拜托喔 |
| [26:07] | It’s not a lesbian joke. | 这不是嘲讽女同志 |
| [26:09] | It’s a woman joke. Everyone hates women! | 这是嘲讽女人，大家都讨厌女人 －是真的啊 |
| [26:12] | What? They do. | －滚下台 接招，八婆 |
| [26:18] | Well, you missed! | 你没丢中 |
| [26:19] | I thought you were all Olympians! | 你们不都是奥运选手吗？ |
| [26:26] | Shit. | 糟糕 |
| [26:31] | ♪ ♪ | 路德维＂ |
| [26:42] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [26:45] | – Joe, did you chew this? | 乔乔，这是你咬的吗？ |
| [26:50] | Joe? | 乔乔？ |
| [26:55] | Joe? | 乔乔？ |
| [27:04] | Fuck. | 完了‥ |
| [27:05] | Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Can someone help? Please? | 谁可以帮忙一下，拜托 |
| [27:13] | – Sir, please calm down. What happened? | 先生请你冷静，怎么回事？ |
| [27:15] | – I think he got into some Adderall | 它好像吞了一些聪明药 |
| [27:16] | when I was at Queergasm… um, an event. | 我刚刚在同志夜店‥参加活动 |
| [27:18] | – Okay. Just give him to me and have a seat. | 好，把它交给我，你先坐着 |
| [27:23] | Sam, I need you. | 小珊，来帮忙 |
| [27:31] | – ♪ You used to know me, now you don’t ♪ | |
| [27:34] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [27:35] | ♪ You used to hypnotize me did it so easy ♪ | |
| [27:40] | – Shots? – At 10:00 a.m.? | 喝一杯？ 才十点耶 |
| [27:42] | – Why not? – Sure, I mean, 100%. | －不行吗？ －当然可以，没问题 |
| [27:45] | Don’t talk to me till I’ve had my vodka, you know? | 我喝完伏特加才能正常运作 |
| [27:47] | – Mm-hmm. Tastes weird after toothpaste. | 刷完牙喝这个好怪 |
| [27:53] | – Wow, okay, you’re hot and funny? – I guess. ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪ | 你不只辣，还很幽默？ |
| [28:13] | ♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪ ♪ You used to know me, now you don’t ♪ – Ugh. | 大概吧 |
| [28:26] | – Hi. – Miss Vance. | －你好 －凡斯小姐？ |
| [28:27] | – Yes. | －是 －我能跟你说句话吗？ |
| [28:29] | – Can I speak to you for a moment? | －是 －我能跟你说句话吗？ |
| [28:30] | – Of course. | －当然可以 |
| [28:32] | – A lot of the guests were very offended last night, | －昨晚有很多宾客觉得被冒犯 |
| [28:34] | especially the captain’s wife. | 尤其是船长的太太 |
| [28:36] | And apparently you hit someone with a shoe. | 你还用鞋子打到人 |
| [28:38] | – It was thrown at me. | 有人拿鞋子丢我 |
| [28:40] | I was returning it. | 我只是还回去 |
| [28:42] | – Well, the passengers have held a quorum. | 乘客们开了治安会议 |
| [28:44] | – A quorum? | －治安会议？ |
| [28:45] | – There’s been a vote, | －她们投票决定 |
| [28:46] | and they want you off. | 要你下船 |
| [28:47] | – Off? | 下船？ 好可爱 |
| [28:52] | – Ouch, that’s a nasty bruise. | 看起来好痛 瘀青太惨了吧 |
| [28:55] | – Oh, yeah, I got bored in my room, | 是啊，我在房间太无聊 |
| [28:57] | and I tried to do a cartwheel, and I hit my leg really hard. | 就试着侧翻，摔得好惨 |
| [29:00] | – Aww. Poor baby. | 可怜的宝贝 |
| [29:04] | Should I kiss it? | 要我亲亲吗？ |
| [29:08] | – Yeah. | 好啊 |
| [29:10] | – ♪ I’ll be fucked up if you can’t be right here ♪ | |
| [29:14] | ♪ Oh, whoa ♪ | |
| [29:18] | ♪ Oh, whoa ♪ | |
| [29:22] | ♪ Oh, whoa ♪ | |
| [29:26] | ♪ I’ll be fucked up ♪ | |
| [29:27] | Ava! | 艾娃 |
| [29:29] | Get your shit. We’re leaving. | 快收行李，我们要走了 |
| [29:32] | Leaving? What? | 走？ |
| [29:33] | No, we’re in the middle of the ocean, and…no! | 我们在海上耶 |
| [29:36] | – Yeah, well, there was a quorum, | －我不要 －就是要 |
| [29:37] | and it didn’t go our way. We’re off. | 有场治安会议 我们占下风，要下船了 |
| [29:39] | – Okay, well, I’ll meet you at the dock, then. | 那我靠港后再去找你吧 |
| [29:42] | – The dinghy will be here in ten. | 小艇十分钟后到 |
| [29:44] | – Dinghy? | 小艇？ |
| [29:50] | – Right this way. Right this way, Miss Vance. | |
| [29:51] | – I’m fine. | 不用扶我 |
| [29:52] | – Watch your step. | －小心脚步‥ |
| [29:54] | – Let go of me. – Watch your step. – Let go of me! | －放开我‥ |
| [29:58] | Why didn’t you just make us walk the fucking plank? | 干吗不叫我们跳海算了？ |
| [30:00] | – Hey, Deborah! | 黛博拉 |
| [30:02] | Try again, bitch. | 看你怎么丢回来，八婆 |
| [30:05] | – What? Oh! | |
| [30:09] | – Piece-of-shit leggings. | 烂紧身裤 |
| [30:15] | – Bye. | 再见 |
| [30:23] | – You know what, Deborah? | 依我看，黛博拉 |
| [30:25] | Your orientation isn’t gay or straight. | 你的性向不是同性或异性恋 |
| [30:29] | It’s egomaniac. | 是自大狂 |
| [30:32] | – Ah, this waistband is kind of loose. | 松紧带确实满松的 |
| [30:36] | Yeah, should have done another round of testing. | 应该再多测试一次的 |
| [30:41] | – Oh, no. | 糟了 |
| [30:44] | The Molly’s hitting. – What? | 快乐丸药效发作了 |
| [30:48] | – I might have to dance. – You did Molly? | －什么？ |
| [30:51] | – ♪ Constant ♪ | －我得跳个舞 你嗑了快乐丸？ |
| [30:53] | – Okay, I can’t watch this. – ♪ Craving ♪ | 我看不下去了 |
| [30:59] | ♪ Has always ♪ Oh, oh, is that a dolphin? | 那是海豚吗？ |
| [31:03] | Right there. | 那边 |
| [31:05] | – No, that’s trash. – Oh, God. | －不是，那是垃圾 |
| [31:07] | – ♪ Craving ♪ ♪ ♪ | －天啊 |
| [31:20] | – Hey, buddy. – Oh, Sam, Sam, no. | －乖狗狗‥ －小珊 |
| [31:22] | We are not releasing that dog right now. | 现在不能让狗狗出院 |
| [31:24] | – What? – I’m sorry, but… | －什么？ |
| [31:26] | you’re clearly on drugs, | －抱歉，但你显然嗑了药 |
| [31:27] | and it is my professional and moral obligation | 基于职业伦理与道德 |
| [31:30] | to keep this animal from harm. | 我必须让它远离伤害 |
| [31:32] | – Okay, you can’t keep my dog from me. | 最好是，你不能不让我接狗 |
| [31:33] | – I actually can. | |
| [31:35] | – Okay, this is ridiculous. I’m fine, okay? | －其实可以 －太荒谬了，我没事 |
| [31:36] | I’m a responsible person. I can take care of a dog. | 我是个负责任的大人 我可以照顾一只狗 |
| [31:39] | I-I run a fucking multimillion-dollar company! | 我有一家上百万资产的公司 |
| [31:45] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [31:50] | Can my mother pick him up? | 那能让我妈来接它吗？ |
| [31:53] | – Sure. | 当然可以 |
| [31:56] | Put him in room three. | 让它待在三号房 |
| [31:57] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [32:05] | – Shit. | 糟了‥黛博拉 |
| [32:07] | Deborah. | |
| [32:08] | – It was not a gay cruise. | 那不是同志邮轮 |
| [32:10] | It was a lesbian cruise! | 是女同志邮轮 |
| [32:13] | – Oh, no. – Oh, yes. | －不是吧 －就是 |
| [32:15] | I was almost a victim of unprovoked | 我差一点就要莫名其妙被揍了 |
| [32:17] | physical violence. – I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [32:20] | – Where have you been? | 你死去哪里了？ |
| [32:22] | – Fuck. | 可恶‥ |
| [32:24] | Look, I’m so sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [32:26] | I thought I read that contract, but I must have just | 我以为我细看过合约了 |
| [32:28] | DocuSigned it quickly. | 但我大概只草草用了电子签名 |
| [32:29] | And I was dealing with Roy that day, | 我那天还要应付罗伊 |
| [32:31] | and I approved the wrong lookbook, | 而且我型录签准错本了 |
| [32:33] | and it goes into production today, | 今天就要送印 |
| [32:35] | and, Deborah, I know it’s no excuse, | 黛博拉，我知道这不是借口 |
| [32:37] | but I haven’t been sleeping well lately. | 但我最近睡得很不好 |
| [32:40] | And my dog… | 而且我的狗‥ |
| [32:42] | – Oh, Marcus. Marcus. | 马可斯‥ |
| [32:43] | Don’t worry. Don’t worry. | －别担心了 －我‥ |
| [32:46] | Look, look, why don’t you come join us on the road? | 别担心，这样吧 你来跟我们一起巡回吧 |
| [32:50] | – Wait, why? | 等等，为什么？ |
| [32:52] | You need me? Is Alice not working out? | 你需要我去，爱丽丝不行吗？ |
| [32:54] | – Yeah, yeah. | 对啊‥ |
| [32:57] | Yeah, she’s gone, so I do need you. | 她要走了 我需要你 |
| [33:00] | – Okay. | 好 |
| [33:02] | I’ll be on the next flight. | 我搭下一班飞机过去 |
| [33:04] | – Good, great. | 很好，太好了 |
| [33:06] | – Okay, I’ll see you soon. | 好，晚点见 |
| [33:07] | – See you soon. | 晚点见 |
| [33:15] | – They kicked you off the boat? | 她们把你踢下船？ |
| [33:19] | – It’s a ship, | 那是邮轮 |
| [33:21] | and you’re fired. | 而且你被开除了 |
| [33:24] | – Hmm. | |
| [33:26] | Well, FYI, | 那我跟你说一下 |
| [33:29] | I ate some of your fancy cream | 我吃了一些你的高级面霜 |
| [33:31] | ’cause I thought it was dip. | 因为我以为是沾酱 |
| [33:33] | And it’s really dangerous to keep it in the fridge. | 这样放冰箱很危险 |
| [33:46] | Good luck getting to Springfield on time! | 祝你们及时赶到春田啊 待续 |
| [33:51] | – ♪ Constant ♪ | 谢谢观赏 |
| [33:55] | ♪ Craving ♪ | |
| [33:58] | ♪ Has always been ♪ | |
| [34:05] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [34:07] | ♪ Maybe ♪ | |
| [34:10] | ♪ A great magnet pulls ♪ | |
| [34:14] | ♪ All souls ♪ | |
| [34:18] | ♪ Towards truth ♪ | |
| [34:22] | ♪ Or maybe it is life itself ♪ | |
| [34:29] | ♪ Feeds wisdom ♪ | |
| [34:33] | ♪ To its youth ♪ | |
| [34:37] | ♪ Constant ♪ | |
| [34:41] | ♪ Craving ♪ | |
| [34:45] | ♪ Has always been ♪ | |
| [34:51] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [34:53] | ♪ Craving ♪ | |
| [34:56] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [34:58] | ♪ Aha ♪ | |
| [35:01] | ♪ Constant craving ♪ |