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绝望写手(Hacks)第2季第6集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 绝望写手(Hacks)第2季第6集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
时间 英文 中文
[00:05] We’re going backwards.
[00:07] Felt better a week ago. 一个礼拜前好多了
[00:09] – Okay, hear me out. 好,听我说
[00:10] Maybe we’re working too hard. 可能是因为用脑过度了
[00:12] Maybe we need to rest our brains. 也许需要休息一下
[00:15] DJ’s texting you. 黛洁传讯息来了
[00:17] – How do you know? – I can read it from here. 你怎么知道?
[00:20] Your text setting is enormous. 我从这里就看得到了 你字体设定有够大
[00:21] It’s like the top row of an eye exam. 就像视力检查第一行
[00:23] – Oh, God, it’s another message about ancestry.com. 天啊,又跟基因检测网有关
[00:27] Ever since she decided to have a kid, 自从黛洁决定要生小孩后
[00:28] DJ’s obsessed with our family heritage. 一直对我们的家族史很着迷
[00:30] – Oh, I did that, and I found out 我也测过,发现有个远房表亲
[00:32] I had a second cousin who lived an hour away 住在车程一小时以外
[00:34] who did not wanna get coffee. 对方完全不想跟我喝杯咖啡
[00:36] – Huh, it appears I’m a descendant 看来我是塞勒姆审巫案中
[00:38] of a person in the Salem witch trials. 其中一人的后代
[00:41] Betty Parris. 贝蒂帕里斯
[00:43] – Wait, could we use this for the show? 等等,这可以用在表演里吗?
[00:46] Like, maybe this is the through line we’ve been looking for. 我们可能终于找到可用的主轴了
[00:49] – Oh, maybe. Um, something about how her story mirrors mine. 有可能
[00:55] – Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. – Umm, 可以说我和她的遭遇很像
[00:56] beautiful, brilliant woman 都是漂亮又有脑袋的女人
[00:57] blazing her own path in a male-dominated world. 在男人主导的环境开疆辟土
[00:59] – Yes! – Unfairly persecuted. -没错,被大众公审
[01:01] – Found guilty in the court of public opinion. -遭到不公审判
[01:03] Burned at the stake. – Yes, exactly! -没错‥ -被骂得体无完肤
[01:05] Oh, this is good. This is good. 太棒了‥
[01:06] Um…oh, oh, I know. I know how it could start. 有了,我知道该怎么开头
[01:09] – Ooh, shoot. -可恶 -怎么了?
[01:10] – What? -可恶 -怎么了?
[01:13] – Okay, it turns out Betty Parris was actually 这个贝蒂帕里斯
[01:16] one of the Salem witch trial accusers. 其实是塞勒姆审巫案中的原告
[01:18] She and Abigail Williams kinda kicked the whole thing off. 整件事就是她 和艾比盖儿威廉斯造成的
[01:21] Lotta innocent women dead. 害死了很多无辜的女性
[01:23] Her fault. 都是她的错
[01:24] Mm. – Mm.
[01:30] Well, I don’t need
[01:32] a stupid through line for my show. -我的表演才不需要什么主轴 -完全不需要
[01:34] – Not at all. Literally dumb. 真是太蠢了
[01:35] – Not my department, and I know you hate puppets, 这不是我的长项 我也知道你讨厌布偶
[01:38] but I was thinking that… – I know. -但我在想‥
[01:39] I know. -我想到了‥
[01:46] Babe, hi. 亲爱的,你好
[01:47] Oh, I am in such a rut. 我现在灵感枯竭,我需要你
[01:49] I need you.
[01:51] Yeah. 是啊
[01:52] How quickly can you get to Memphis? 你多快可以到曼非斯?
[01:55] – ♪ Doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪
[01:59] ♪ Run run run, run run run ♪
[02:02] ♪ Doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪
[02:06] ♪ Run run run, run run run ♪
[02:09] ♪ Oh, load up your mama ♪
[02:11] ♪ We’ll ride on out to the line ♪
[02:14] ♪ ♪
[02:16] ♪ Run ♪
[02:18] ♪ ♪
[02:20] ♪ Run ♪
[02:21] ♪ ♪ "黛博拉凡斯"
[02:30] Hi! 你们好
[02:32] Thank you for the ride, 谢谢你载我一程,别忘了
[02:33] and remember, love can be an addiction, too, 爱也是会上瘾的
[02:36] so set boundaries. 划下界线对你和她都好
[02:37] It’ll be good for you and her.
[02:39] I love you so much. Bye! 我真的很爱你
[02:41] Thank you! – Kiki! 再见,谢谢你 你们好
[02:43] – Yay. 我爱你们,姊妹
[02:48] – ♪ Run ♪ -好开心能来找你们 -是啊
[02:52] – What else? 还有什么呢?
[02:54] Oh, I got a haircut. 我剪头发了
[02:56] But it kinda grew out, so you can’t really tell. 但已经长回来了,所以不太明显
[02:58] – It’s cute. – Thank you. -很好看 -谢谢
[02:59] And there’s this really weird smell 最近赌城空气真的很难闻
[03:01] in Vegas right now.
[03:02] No one knows what it is, 虽然没人说是什么原因
[03:03] but I think it’s feet. – Feet? 但我觉得是脚臭味
[03:06] – All those shoes people leave behind? -脚臭味? -四处都有人乱丢鞋子
[03:07] When I’m at my table, girls will literally take off 很多女生会在我赌桌下脱鞋
[03:09] their high heels, and they will never, ever come back for them. -但从不回来穿走 -没错,这是真的
[03:11] – No, it’s true. The Palmetto lost and found 帕美托的失物招领
[03:13] is full of Jessica Simpson-brand shoes. 有一堆洁西卡辛普森牌子的鞋
[03:15] I go a lot ’cause I keep losing my retainer. 我很常去因为一直弄丢维持器
[03:17] But don’t worry. I always find it. 但不用担心,每次都能找到
[03:19] – Anyway, I’m just happy to be here. 不管怎样,我真的很高兴能来
[03:21] I’ve always wanted to visit, and I love Memphis music. 我一直很想去 而且我很喜欢曼非斯音乐
[03:24] – Wait, really? Like what? Like… like Elvis? 真的吗,像什么,猫王吗?
[03:26] – No, like Three 6 Mafia, Pooh Shiesty, Project Pat, 不是 邪恶黑帮,普夏伊斯,专案高手
[03:29] Young Dolph, Yo Gotti, NLE Choppa. 小阿道夫,尤高堤 和恩艾伊查波
[03:33] Really? Hello! 有点品味好吗?
[03:34] Oh, Deborah, that’s 24. I’m sorry. 黛博拉,24点了,抱歉
[03:36] – Yes, I can count. 是的,我会算
[03:38] – Hm. – Ugh! 八点
[03:40] Damn it. 可恶
[03:41] I need this to get back 我需要赢才能进入表演状态
[03:42] into my pre-show rhythm.
[03:44] Come on, bust, bust, bust, bust, bust, bust. 快点,爆掉‥
[03:47] – Ava wins. – Shh. 艾娃赢了
[03:50] Oh, Deborah’s suing me. 话说黛博拉要告我
[03:53] – Stop trying to cheer me up. ♪ ♪ 不要这样帮我打气
[03:59] – ♪ If push ♪ ♪ Comes to a shove ♪ "蓝调故乡,比尔街"
[04:04] ♪ ♪ ♪ You’ve got to keep your head ♪ ♪ Above the water ♪ "国王蓝调俱乐部"
[04:14] – Um, not to add more to your plate, 我不想让你更忙乱
[04:16] but you should know that Axel is here. 但我得告诉你,艾索来了
[04:19] – Axel Axel? – Yes. 那个艾索吗?
[04:21] Apparently, his restraining order lapsed 没错,对他的保护令
[04:22] a couple years ago. – Sorry, 几年前就到期了
[04:23] but who is Axel Axel? 抱歉,谁是艾索?
[04:25] – One of Deborah’s stalkers. – One of? -黛博拉的跟踪狂之一 -之一?
[04:27] How many stalkers do you have? 你有几个跟踪狂?
[04:29] – Living? 12. 活的吗,12个
[04:31] – Mm, 11. 11个
[04:32] Donna died. 唐娜死了
[04:34] – Oh, she did? 真的吗?
[04:35] Oh, she was sweet. 她还蛮贴心的
[04:37] What an athlete. 而且体力超好
[04:39] She scaled that 30-foot pergola like it was nothing. 轻轻松松就爬上30呎高的棚架
[04:45] I mean, seriously, 说真的
[04:46] my little sister steals my husband. 我的小妹竟然抢走我的先生
[04:54] She used to just steal my dolls. 她以前只会抢我的娃娃而已
[04:58] But seriously, that… 但这真的‥
[05:00] that was the worst feeling in the world. 那是世上最糟糕的经历
[05:04] And I once bombed so bad at a USO show, 我可是搞砸过劳军表演
[05:06] they put me on the No Fly List. 被列上禁飞名单的人耶
[05:10] – So for tomorrow, we have requests 明天有两个广播节目想访问你
[05:11] for two radio interviews.
[05:13] One’s with “Gonzo and the Bean.” 一个是冈祖和豆豆‥
[05:14] – Let’s do the other one. 接另一个
[05:16] Wait a second. Where’s… where’s Axel? 等一下,艾索呢?
[05:21] Where’s Axel? -艾索呢? -我不知道
[05:26] Is that him? 那是他吗?
[05:27] Is he leaving? 他要走了吗?
[05:29] Hey, Axel. 艾索
[05:31] Wait. Ax… Axel! 等等,艾索‥
[05:33] Axel! Hey, hey!
[05:35] Hey, hey, Axel, Axel, Axel. 艾索‥
[05:36] – Oh, wow! Hi! – Hey.
[05:38] Hi. – Deborah. 黛博拉
[05:39] Hi. 你好
[05:41] – How you doing? 你好吗?
[05:43] – I’m doing better. Thank you for asking. 我过得不错,谢谢你的关心
[05:46] Got my own apartment. 我现在有自己的公寓
[05:47] Just started working at Best Buy. 也开始在电器商场工作
[05:49] – Good, good, good, good. So, um… 很好,话说‥
[05:53] did you… did you see the show? 你看了表演吗?
[05:54] – Yeah, yeah. 看了
[05:56] It was good. 很不错,感觉很不一样
[05:57] It was different. – Yeah, it’s a whole… 是啊,走完全不同的路线
[05:59] it’s a whole different thing, so… what’d you think? 你觉得怎么样?
[06:03] – I mean, you’re always great to watch. 我的话 你的表演一直都很精彩
[06:10] I don’t know, it just wasn’t the Deborah Vance I’m used to. 但我说不上来 不是我习惯的黛博拉凡斯
[06:14] – Oh, you mean the Deborah Vance that you sent 你不会寄整包阴毛
[06:16] a Ziploc bag full of pubic hair to? 给新的黛博拉凡斯吗?
[06:17] I don’t do that anymore. 我已经不会这么做了
[06:21] There were some funny jokes, but… but… 有些笑话蛮好笑的,但‥
[06:25] it just… 只是‥
[06:26] it was kind of a bummer, 没这么好笑了
[06:28] and I didn’t really expect that from you. 我没想到你会变成这样
[06:31] I miss the Deborah who takes everyone down. 我想念那个 把所有人都骂个臭头的黛博拉
[06:37] – Yeah. Huh. 知道了
[06:40] Well, nice to see you, Axel. 很高兴见到你,艾索
[06:42] – Oh, quick question while I have you. 既然你来了,我有个问题
[06:45] Do you know if Chelsea Handler still lives 你知道雀儿喜汉德勒
[06:48] in Brentwood, California? 是否还住在加州布伦坞吗?
[06:50] – No, I don’t, 我不知道
[06:52] and I wouldn’t tell you even if I did. 就算知道也不会告诉你
[06:54] – You know, she never visits Chuy’s grave. 她从来没去丘伊的墓前
[06:56] Goodbye, Axel. 再见,艾索
[07:00] – Oof, it’s so scary having a stalker. 有跟踪狂的感觉好可怕
[07:02] – Oh, you kinda get used to it. 慢慢就习惯了
[07:04] – Someone obsessed with you who could just show up 一想到有人很迷恋你
[07:06] at any moment. 还会突然出现‥
[07:07] – Ava! – Oh! -艾娃
[07:09] Mom. -天啊,妈妈
[07:10] – What are you doing here? – Well, you said the tour 你怎么在这里?
[07:13] was in Memphis for a couple nights, 你说会在曼非斯表演几天
[07:14] and you said… you said it would be fun if I visited. 然后说我来的话一定很棒
[07:17] – Those were two different conversations, 两句话不是同时说的
[07:19] but hi. 不过‥你好啊
[07:20] – Oh, honey. Oh, it’s so good to see you. "曼非斯" 亲爱的 见到你真开心
[07:23] – Hi, I’m Kiki. – Hi. -你好,我是琦琦
[07:25] – Oh, uh… uh, Kiki, this is my mom, Nina. -你好 琦琦,这是我妈妮娜
[07:28] Mom, this is my friend Kiki. 妈,这是我朋友琦琦
[07:29] – A friend! 艾娃的朋友
[07:31] Oh, Kiki, it’s so nice to meet you. 琦琦,很高兴见到你
[07:32] Ava’s never mentioned you. 艾娃从来没提过你
[07:34] – I did, actually. 我提过
[07:35] – No, it’s okay. 没关系
[07:37] I’m kinda hard to describe anyway. 我的确不是个好形容的朋友
[07:38] Kinda have to experience it. 亲自见面了才懂
[07:40] I love your hair. – Oh, thanks. -我喜欢你的发型
[07:41] Well, they’re extensions. -谢谢,这些都是接发
[07:43] No, I… I know that. 是啊,我知道
[07:45] – Well, hello. – Hi. Oh, Deborah. -你好 -你好,黛博拉
[07:47] – Hi. – It’s so good to see you. 很高兴可以见到你
[07:49] – Hi. How are you? This is fun. 你好吗? 太有趣了
[07:52] I didn’t know that you were coming to visit. 我不知道你会来找我们
[07:55] No one did. No one did. 没人知道‥
[07:57] So, uh, Mom, Kiki and I were gonna go to a bar, 妈,我跟琦琦准备要去酒吧
[08:00] but I guess we can get you settled at the hotel. 但我们可以先送你去饭店
[08:04] – Oh, no. No, let’s go out. 不用,没关系,一起去吧
[08:07] We can all go, right? 大家一起去,如何?
[08:08] – Um, no, Deborah doesn’t wanna go… 没有,黛博拉不想去
[08:10] – Oh, I need to. -她没关系 -我需要喝酒
[08:11] My own stalker just ran away from me. 我的跟踪狂刚刚在躲我
[08:13] I could use a couple of drinks. 我需要喝个几杯
[08:14] Whoo! Girls’ night out! 女孩之夜
[08:17] – Yeah, that’s what girls’ night out is: 是啊,标准的女孩之夜
[08:19] just two friends, someone’s mom, and their boss. 两个朋友加上某人的妈 跟她们的老板
[08:22] – I’m someone’s mom too, actually. -其实我也是某人的妈
[08:24] – So am I. – Well, moms’ night out then. -我也是
[08:26] Plus Ava. – Whoo! 那就是妈妈之夜加上艾娃
[08:28] – There you go. Whoo! 就是这样
[08:29] Whoo-hoo!
[08:31] ♪ ♪ "牛仔与乡村乐"
[08:40] – Whoo!
[08:41] – Why aren’t you and your daughter’s father together? 你为什么没跟女儿的爸在一起?
[08:44] – We were for a little bit, but we just annoy each other, 在一起了一阵子 但彼此都看不顺眼
[08:46] so I couldn’t live with him. 所以我无法跟他住在一起
[08:48] I… but I love him. I love him as a co-parent. 但我以共同养育者的身份爱他
[08:50] – Well, how do your parents feel 那你爸妈对你没有结婚
[08:51] about you not being married? 是怎么想的?
[08:53] I mean, aren’t Asian families very traditional? 亚洲家庭不是都很传统吗?
[08:55] – Mom. – No, it’s cool. -妈妈 -没事,没关系
[08:57] I love nosy people. Uh, yeah, obviously, 我喜欢别人打探隐私
[08:59] they’re not in love with the fact 是啊,他们的确
[09:00] that we’re not married, but, you know, 对我们没结婚不太高兴
[09:02] they’re happy that we got Luna. 但他们很高兴有璐娜在
[09:04] Was it hard raising an only child? 养独生女是不是很难?
[09:06] Because Luna keeps asking me for a little sister, 璐娜一直跟我要个妹妹
[09:08] and I don’t know! 但我没有啊
[09:09] – Oh, no, no. It was fine. 没事,这样很好
[09:11] And-and Ava was more than enough to handle. 艾娃就让我够忙了
[09:13] And she turned out great. – Yeah. -她现在过得很好 -是啊
[09:15] – But only because I worked very hard 不过是因为我很努力
[09:17] to make sure she was never lonely. 让她不会觉得孤单
[09:18] – Actually, I was so lonely, I used to draw faces 其实我一直都很孤单 我会画脸在枕头上
[09:21] on our pillows and talk to them. 然后跟它们说话
[09:22] – Oh, yeah. She ruined so many pillows. 是啊,她毁了好多枕头
[09:25] But it gave her a great sense of humor, I guess. 但她也因此很有幽默感
[09:27] – Oh, I don’t think Luna’s gonna be funny. 璐娜以后应该不会搞笑
[09:29] She’s really comfortable with herself. 她还蛮有自信的
[09:31] – Okay, okay. 来了
[09:34] – Thank you. – Oh, Deborah, thank you. -来了 -谢谢
[09:35] – You didn’t get anything? -黛博拉,谢谢 -你没喝吗?
[09:36] – I couldn’t carry it all. 我没办法拿这么多杯
[09:38] – Two vodka rocks? -两杯加冰块的伏特加
[09:39] – Those are for me. Thank you. -是我的
[09:40] – Oh, my God. – Whoo! 我的天啊
[09:42] – Thank you, thank you. – So, Deborah, -谢谢‥ -黛博拉
[09:43] how’s the big show going? 巡演进行得如何?
[09:46] – Eh, not great. -不太好
[09:47] – No, it’s great. It’s great. -才怪,非常好‥
[09:49] – Yeah, you’re being too hard on yourself. 是啊,你对自己太严格了
[09:51] I mean, the show doesn’t need to be a laugh a minute. 不是让人笑破肚皮才叫好
[09:53] – It’s not about laughs. It’s-it’s a feeling, you know? 跟好不好笑没关系 是一种感觉
[09:56] I can tell when the audience isn’t fully with me, 我感觉得到观众的情绪
[09:58] and they’re not. 他们不喜欢
[09:59] You haven’t been up there 4 million times. 上台这么多次的人不是你
[10:01] You can’t hear it the way I can. 你的感受跟我不一样
[10:02] – I relate to that so much, Deborah. 你这样讲我很有共鸣,黛博拉
[10:05] When I’m doing a pitch, 每次我推销产品
[10:06] I can always tell when they’re not gonna buy. 我都能知道对方不想买
[10:08] – Uh, what? 你说什么?
[10:10] – Oh, my God, I forgot. – A pitch? -天啊,我忘了 -推销什么?
[10:12] – I forgot to tell you. 我忘记说,我找到工作了
[10:13] I got a job. I’m a Vibamins rep. 是健康产品的推销员
[10:15] I’m selling all-natural health and beauty supplements. 贩卖全天然健康和美容保健品
[10:18] – Well, that’s interesting. Good for you. 真有趣,我为你高兴
[10:20] – Thank you. Uh, you could do it too, Ava. 谢谢,你也可以做
[10:22] You could find people on the road to work for you. 可以在路上找人帮你工作
[10:24] – Work for me? – Mm-hmm. 帮我工作?
[10:26] – Hold on. Is this an MLM? 等等,这是直销吗?
[10:28] – A what? No, no, no, no. 什么,不是‥
[10:29] No, it’s an effervescent vitamin tablet… -这是维他命发泡锭
[10:30] – No, no, no, like, the more people you recruit, -不是‥
[10:32] the more money you make? 招募越多人赚得越多吗?
[10:33] – Yeah, well, of course. 是啊,当然
[10:36] What? 怎么了?
[10:37] – Mom, that’s a pyramid scheme. 妈,这就是老鼠会
[10:39] – No! That’s impossible. 不是,怎么可能?
[10:40] It’s on Facebook. – Oh, my God. 社群网站到处都是
[10:42] Mom! – What? What are you saying? -我的天啊,妈
[10:44] What did I say? – Hey, Deborah… -又怎样了
[10:46] Deborah and I are gonna take a lap. 你在说什么?
[10:48] – Mm. – Be right back. 我又说了什么吗? 我跟黛博拉去晃晃吧
[10:49] – It’s women-owned, Ava. 公司老板是个女的,艾娃
[10:52] It’s an innocent thing. 不是什么骗人的公司
[10:53] I’m making a lot of money, 我赚了很多钱,整个社区都是
[10:54] and so is the whole neighborhood.
[10:56] Hazel Smith who lives next door is so excited. 住隔壁的海兹儿史密斯很开心
[10:59] Her husband’s a little upset about the $30,000, 她先生对她花三万块是不太满意
[11:02] but she’s really thrilled. 但至少她很开心
[11:04] ♪ ♪
[11:06] – I mean, sure, I have the money, 我当然有这笔钱
[11:08] but I… I don’t wanna go to space. 但我不想上太空
[11:09] – Ugh, no. I never wanna go to space. 没错,我永远不会想上太空
[11:12] I do not wanna feel like a grain of sand. 我不想要感觉很渺小
[11:13] – – No.
[11:15] ♪ ♪ No. 不要‥
[11:18] Deborah? – Mm? 听着,黛博拉
[11:20] – There is a guy staring at you. 有个男的一直盯着你看
[11:23] – People stare at me all the time… I’m famous. -我常被人盯着看,我是名人
[11:25] – No, no, no, no, no. -不对‥
[11:26] These are “fuck me” eyes, 他的眼神是想跟你上床
[11:27] not “I’ve seen you on ‘The View'” eyes. 而不是"我在电视上看过你"
[11:32] – Oh, God. You’re insane. 天啊,你疯了吗?
[11:34] He could be my son. 他都可以当我儿子了
[11:36] – Never know. Why don’t you go say hi? 不好说,去打个招呼吧
[11:37] Follow the fun. – Absolutely not. -放纵一下 -绝对不要
[11:42] What? 怎样‥?
[11:43] What?
[11:45] Have fun. 好好玩吧
[11:47] – No. – Bye. -不要
[11:49] ♪ ♪ -再见
[11:51] – Hi. – Oh, Christ. 你好
[11:54] – Hi. – Hey. 天啊
[11:56] – Where’d your mom go? 你妈妈去哪里了?
[11:58] – Oh, she got upset that I thought 她不爽我觉得她在做老鼠会
[11:59] she’s in a pyramid scheme, which she is… 但她的确是
[12:01] – Yeah, she is. – She went to go ride the bull. -的确是
[12:03] Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! -所以她去骑牛了
[12:06] Whoo-hoo! Yeah! – Huh. – This whole thing is so weird. 感觉真是太奇怪了
[12:11] – Well, it’s nice that she wanted to visit. 但她来找你很棒啊
[12:13] – I guess. 可能吧
[12:14] But sometimes it’s hard to have, like, casual fun 但真的很难跟她轻松相处
[12:17] when we never talk about the real stuff 因为没谈过心
[12:18] that could actually make us close. 所以我们不是很亲
[12:20] But that’ll never happen. 但这是不会发生的
[12:23] – Well, I don’t know. Maybe it could. 不好说,也许有机会啊
[12:26] Like, it’s just the two of you now, 现在只剩你和你妈了
[12:27] and she did come all this way. 她还大老远跑来找你
[12:30] This could be a good time for a fresh start. 可能是个重新开始的好时机
[12:33] – Yeah. 是啊
[12:34] Maybe you’re right. 有可能吧
[12:37] – She’s certainly showing new sides of herself. – Whoo-hoo! Ava! Whoo! 我的确看到她完全不同的一面
[12:43] Whoo! Whoo! – Oh! – Ooh. – Whoo, Ava! Kiki! 艾娃
[12:47] – Oh, she’s… – Oh, she’s good. Yeah, yeah. -她没事,很好
[12:49] – Whoo! -她没事
[12:51] – Where’s Deborah? – Oh, she’s about 黛博拉呢?
[12:53] to get her titties sucked by a 40-year-old. 她跟一个40岁的人打得正火热
[12:59] I didn’t know attractive people could be so funny. 我都不知道美女 讲话也能这么幽默
[13:01] – Oh, we can. – Oh, yeah? -那当然 -是吗?
[13:03] – Yes, yes. No, it’s a myth 没错,丑人必须这样相信
[13:04] that we want ugly people to believe just to keep the peace. 才不会暴动
[13:08] – People don’t like you to have both. 才貌兼具会让人眼红
[13:10] – Well, I like that you have both. 我欣赏你有美貌又有幽默感
[13:12] – Well, I like that you have one. 我欣赏你只拥有一项
[13:15] – Well, which one’s that? 是哪一个?
[13:17] – I’m not gonna tell you yet. 我还不能告诉你
[13:19] Oh, no? 不说?
[13:20] – Okay. Okay. 好吧‥
[13:23] So what do you do? 你做什么工作的?
[13:30] You really don’t know? 你真的不知道吗?
[13:32] – No. Should I? 不知道,我该知道吗?
[13:35] – No. 不用
[13:41] Why are you talking to me? 你为什么来搭讪我?
[13:44] – Oh, wow, uh…
[13:46] ♪ ♪
[13:50] I think you’re attractive. 因为我觉得你很有魅力
[13:52] – Oh, God. 天啊
[13:53] What, what? 什么?
[13:55] You have a fetish for older women? 怎样,你对老女人有癖好吗?
[13:57] ♪ ♪
[14:00] – I guess I do. 我想是吧
[14:01] I like older women. 我喜欢年纪比我大的女人
[14:03] That a bad thing? Huh? – I don’t wanna think about it. 这样不对吗?
[14:08] ♪ ♪ Wow. 我不想思考这件事
[14:13] Bold. 真大胆
[14:15] – You just asked me if I had a fetish for older women. 你刚问我对老女人有没有癖好
[14:19] So I think you’re bold. 我想你才是大胆的那个
[14:20] – Well, I guess we’re both bold. -看来我们都很大胆
[14:21] – I guess we’re both bold. -确实如此
[14:25] – You wanna come back to my place? 要跟我回家吗?
[14:27] ♪ ♪
[14:33] – ♪ They don’t know ♪
[14:35] ♪ And they don’t know nobody’s business ♪
[14:38] ♪ ♪
[14:41] So it’s a different driver every time? 每次都有不同的司机吗?
[14:44] ♪ ♪
[14:47] Yeah. 是啊
[14:50] It’s just like a taxi. 就跟计程车一样
[14:52] You’ll never see him again. 以后都不会再见到他了
[14:54] ♪ ♪
[15:07] See, they’re hard, 这种卡有够难用
[15:08] those cards.
[15:10] Like, whatever happened to keys? 钥匙还是很好用啊,我不懂
[15:11] I don’t understand.
[15:14] The bed. 大床
[15:18] All right. We should order a movie. 我们应该来看部电影
[15:20] Do they… wait, do they have “Pretty Woman”? 有"麻雀变凤凰"吗?
[15:22] – Mom, no. It’s late and you’re drunk. 妈,不要,太晚了
[15:24] I don’t wanna start a movie. 而且你喝醉了,我不想要看电影
[15:25] I am not drunk. 我才没有醉
[15:28] All right. 好吧
[15:31] Hey, um, Mom,
[15:33] what about tomorrow morning, we get some breakfast? 妈妈,明天一起吃早餐吧
[15:35] I read about this place, Mary’s Pancake House. 我找到一间店,玛莉松饼屋
[15:37] We could, you know, catch up and talk for real. 我们可以谈谈近况,好好聊个天
[15:41] – Oh, yeah. I love that idea. 好啊,我觉得很棒
[15:43] Okay, great. 太好了
[15:46] They do! They do have “Pretty Woman”! 真的有"麻雀变凤凰"
[15:48] I’m hitting play. 我要按播放了
[15:53] Oh, God. 天啊
[15:54] He is so ha… handsome. 他真的好帅喔
[16:02] – So I moved down too. 所以我也搬来这里
[16:04] Got a job at FedEx. 在快递公司找了份工作
[16:08] Benefits are good. 福利很不错
[16:10] Get to see my kids every week. 我每周都能见到孩子
[16:11] That’s nice. 真不错
[16:17] Thank you. 谢谢你
[16:18] Mmm.
[16:24] Ah, beer. 啤酒,熟悉的味道
[16:25] I remember you.
[16:29] – How’d you get this scar? 这个疤怎么来的?
[16:32] Oh.
[16:35] When I was a kid, 我小时候
[16:36] there was a bully in our neighborhood 我家附近的恶霸
[16:38] who was chasing my little sister on his bike. 骑着脚踏车追我妹妹
[16:41] So I tackled him. 所以我就把他撂倒了
[16:42] You tackled him? 你把他撂倒了?
[16:44] – That’s sweet. 真贴心
[16:45] You guys close? 你们很亲吗?
[16:49] – We were. 以前很亲
[16:54] Then she ran off with my husband. 但后来她跟我先生私奔了
[16:57] – Jesus Christ, you’re kidding? 老天爷啊,你开玩笑的吧?
[17:00] – Mm-mm.
[17:01] – That’s fucking crazy. 真是太夸张了
[17:03] How could they do that to you? 他们怎么能这样对你?
[17:07] – Truth be told, it wasn’t entirely their fault. 老实说,这不能完全怪他们
[17:10] I think they both felt neglected because I cared 他们可能觉得被忽视
[17:13] more about my career than I did about them. 因为比起他们
[17:15] – Ah. 我更在意自己的事业
[17:19] – Let’s not talk about that. 不要再谈这个了吧
[17:22] – Yeah. 好
[17:27] You want a massage? 要不要帮你按摩?
[17:28] – Let’s leave that to the professionals. 那个就交给专业的吧
[17:43] Wow.
[17:45] – Are you too tired? 你会累吗?
[17:51] – No. 不会
[18:08] – This is crazy. 真是太疯狂了
[18:11] – Go with it. 顺其自然吧
[18:14] Okay. 好
[18:17] Mmm. Mm, oh. "皮博迪饭店"
[18:36] Come back later, please. 晚点再来,谢谢
[18:38] Mom? -妈妈?
[18:39] – I’m just getting back from breakfast, and here, -我刚吃完早餐回来
[18:41] I got your favorite, chocolate chip pancakes. 我带了你最爱的巧克力碎片松饼
[18:44] They’re so good. 很好吃
[18:45] – Wait. You went without me? 等等,你自己去了吗?
[18:47] The whole point was for us to go together. 我的意思就是要一起去
[18:49] Why didn’t you wake me up? I set my alarm. 干吗不叫醒我? 我设了闹钟
[18:51] – I turned it off. You looked so tired. 我关掉了,你看起来很累
[18:53] – I looked tired while I was sleeping? 我睡觉的时候看起来很累?
[18:56] – Yeah, plus I know how much you love sleeping in. 是啊,而且我知道 你多爱睡到自然醒
[18:59] You were addicted to it when you were a teenager. 你十几岁的时候简直睡到上瘾
[19:01] – I was clinically depressed. 我是被诊断为忧郁症
[19:03] – No, you weren’t! 没有,你才不是
[19:04] That was an iron deficiency 那是因为你吃素缺铁造成的
[19:06] because you went vegetarian.
[19:08] Happy people eat steak, Ava. 开心的人都吃牛排,艾娃
[19:10] Bridget, down the street, she’s a happy girl. 住在附近的布丽姬过得很开心
[19:12] She plays field hockey and eats two steaks a week. 她玩草地曲棍球 每周吃两次牛排
[19:16] – Okay. – Okay, good. 天啊,好吧
[19:18] Um, so will… will you listen 很好
[19:20] to my practice pitch to Deborah? 你可以帮我练习 要怎么向黛博拉推销吗?
[19:22] – Pitch to Deborah? Mom, no. 向黛博拉推销?
[19:25] Deborah’s not interested in Vibamins. 妈妈,不要 黛博拉对你的公司没兴趣
[19:26] She was just being nice. 她只是好心而已
[19:28] – She said it was interesting. 她说真有趣
[19:29] Aren’t you always telling me 是你叫我要相信女人的话
[19:30] to believe women?
[19:31] It’s exhausting, but we do. 实在不容易,但我们相信
[19:34] Okay, uh, will you help me move the desk? 好 帮我搬桌子
[19:37] Maybe I-I’ll stand over here. 也许我可以站在这里
[19:39] Okay, Deborah. 好的,黛博拉
[19:43] You’re someone who knows how important self-care is. 你是个非常注重自己健康的人
[19:48] This is our best-selling collagen balm. 这是我们卖最好的胶原蛋白炸药
[19:51] It is five times the daily recommended intake 里面的胶原蛋白
[19:54] of collagen, plus there is turmeric and seaweed in it. 是每日建议摄取量的五倍 而且还有姜黄跟海藻
[19:59] – Why? – I don’t know, Ava. -为什么? -我不知道,艾娃
[20:01] I’m a saleswoman, not a scientist. 我是销售员,不是科学家
[20:03] Shoot, um, could… could you hand me a bottle of water? 可恶 你可以帮我拿一罐水吗?
[20:07] I should have that ready to go next time. 我下次应该要先准备好
[20:09] Okay. All right.
[20:11] So in three to five minutes, 好 只要三到五分钟
[20:13] you have a delicious raspberry… 你就有一杯美味覆盆子‥
[20:18] – Oh! – Oh, no! -糟了 -妈妈
[20:19] – Mom! – Oh, shoot! Oh! 妈妈,可恶
[20:20] – Fuck. – Oh, God, oh, God, okay. 天啊,没事
[20:22] – This is the notebook we use for Deborah’s show. 这是黛博拉表演用的笔记本
[20:24] It’s all our work! – You gave me sparkling water! -我们的点子都在里面 -是你给我气泡水的
[20:26] – So it’s my fault? You’re not even gonna apologize 所以是我的错吗?
[20:29] for getting it all over the notebook? 你不打算为弄湿笔记本道歉吗?
[20:30] – How was I supposed to know this was sparkling? 我哪知道这是气泡水?
[20:32] – It’s Perrier! It’s always sparkling! 这是沛绿雅
[20:34] It’s famously sparkling water! – Well, I don’t sit around 它就是气泡水 是非常有名的气泡水
[20:37] in fancy hotels drinking fancy water. 我可没有在高级饭店里 喝气泡水的经验
[20:40] – I can’t believe you won’t just say you’re sorry. 真不敢相信你连抱歉也不肯说
[20:41] – Okay! I’m sorry! 好,我很抱歉
[20:43] But that’s just a notebook! 但那只是个笔记本罢了
[20:45] I mean, if it’s good enough, you’ll remember it. 如果点子够好就会记在脑里
[20:47] – That’s not how it works. – Look… oh, wait, here. 不是这样的
[20:49] Here’s some papers. – No, not those! 等等,这些纸拿去 不对,这些不可以
[20:51] – Wait. What is this? 等等,这是什么?
[20:53] Wait, Ava, “Vance v. Daniels”? 艾娃‥ "凡斯控告丹尼尔斯"?
[20:59] – Um, Deborah… 黛博拉要告我
[21:02] is suing me.
[21:04] – Ava. 艾娃
[21:06] What did you do? 你做了什么?
[21:07] What did I do? 我做了什么?
[21:09] Why do you assume I’m the one who did something wrong? 你为什么直觉认为是我做错事?
[21:11] – Because that’s usually the case. 因为通常都是这样
[21:14] Oh, my God. 我的天啊,她之后也会告我吗?
[21:15] Is she gonna come after me?
[21:17] – It has nothing to do with you, Mom. 妈妈,这跟你完全无关
[21:20] – Oh. – What are you doing? 你在做什么?
[21:21] – No, I’m-I’m calling your cousin Randall. 不行,我要打给你表哥蓝道尔
[21:24] He went to Suffolk Law. -他念过萨福克法学院
[21:26] – Randall? -蓝道尔吗?
[21:27] He took two night classes 他只上了两堂
[21:28] in paralegal studies. 法务研究的夜间课程
[21:30] He can’t help us. – Hi, sweetie. -他才帮不了我们
[21:32] It’s Auntie… yeah, it’s your Auntie Nina. -亲爱的,我是妮娜阿姨
[21:35] Terrible! – Mom. -糟透了
[21:40] ♪ ♪ -妈妈
[22:00] – Hello, boys. 你们好,孩子们
[22:02] – Uh…
[22:06] – You’re sitting on my fur. 你坐到我的皮草外套了
[22:09] – Oh, oh, shit. Sorry. 可恶,对不起
[22:11] – That’s quite all right. 没关系
[22:21] Have a nice day. 祝今天愉快
[22:27] Holy shit. 我的老天爷啊
[22:30] Do you know who that was? – No. 知道那是谁吗?
[22:32] – That’s Deborah Vance. -不知道 -她是黛博拉凡斯
[22:33] We have her spice rack. 我们有她的调味料架
[22:36] Oh, my God. 天啊,我要打给我妈
[22:37] I-I gotta go call my mom.
[22:50] – You’re leaving already? 你要走了吗?
[22:51] – Oh, well, you know, 你也知道
[22:53] I like to get to the airport four hours ahead of time. 我喜欢提早四小时到机场
[22:56] And I was hoping to get a nap on the plane, 我本来希望能在机上睡个午觉
[22:59] but I don’t think that’s gonna happen now 但我看应该办不到了
[23:02] ’cause I’m gonna be worrying about this lawsuit. 因为一定满脑子都是官司的事
[23:05] And you know, I can barely sleep at home 我在家已经很难入睡了
[23:06] because Mr. Cream Pie does zoomies all night. 因为奶油派先生 整晚都在跑来跑去
[23:13] – Mom, don’t worry about me. 妈妈 你不用担心我
[23:16] I… 我有很棒的律师
[23:18] I have an amazing lawyer who’s doing it pro bono. 在免费帮我打官司
[23:21] Yeah, she’s… 真的,她说‥我是说他相信
[23:22] I mean, he is really confident
[23:25] he can get it dismissed. 一定可以驳回案子
[23:27] – Oh, really? 真的吗?
[23:29] Oh, good. 太好了
[23:31] Oh, good, good. 很好‥是个厉害的家伙?
[23:33] Somebody knows what they’re doing?
[23:34] – Yes. It’s okay. 是的,不用担心
[23:36] He’s tall too. 而且他也很高
[23:43] – Here. 来
[23:44] Don’t forget your Vibamins. 别忘了你的维他命
[23:46] – Oh, no. Those are for you. 不是,这些是要给你的
[23:48] You probably don’t want them. 虽然你可能也不想要
[23:52] I just have all this time 我现在时间有够多
[23:54] on my hands now.
[23:58] And I was hoping that you would just be proud of me 我只是希望
[24:02] for doing something. 你会因为我找事做而骄傲
[24:06] – I am proud of you, Mom. 我很以你为傲,妈妈
[24:10] You’re… 你可是个‥
[24:12] a girlboss. 女强人
[24:14] – Oh, oh.
[24:15] They… they put that on a T-shirt 他们有写着女强人的衣服
[24:18] if you hit your volume quota. 只要销量达标就能拿到
[24:21] – I bet. 可以想像
[24:24] – Hey, if you’re willing to get to the airport 如果你愿意晚一小时去机场的话
[24:27] only three hours ahead of time, we could finish “Pretty Woman.” 我们能把"麻雀变凤凰"看完
[24:29] – Really? Oh, good. Oh, good. 真的吗,太好了
[24:32] Oh, good. 太棒了
[24:36] You know, this is how your father and I met. 其实呢 我跟你爸爸就是这样认识的
[24:41] You were a prostitute? 你以前也是妓女?
[24:43] – Hell yeah. – Ava. -太酷了 -艾娃
[24:46] I was there with my girlfriend, Joyce Petracelli, 我是跟女生朋友去看的 乔伊斯波特切利
[24:49] and he was there with Joyce’s brother, 你爸跟乔伊斯哥哥来的
[24:51] and so we ended up sitting together. 所以后来我们坐在隔壁
[24:53] – Oh. Did he like the movie? -他喜欢这部电影吗?
[24:55] Oh, he fell asleep. – How much is this, Marie? -他睡着了
[24:57] – Yeah, that sounds like him. 是啊,像他会做的事
[25:00] – Oh, I do miss him falling asleep everywhere. 我真的很想念
[25:02] – Look, I got money to spend in here. 他不管在哪里都能睡着
[25:05] – He was really good at it. – Yeah. -这点他很厉害 -是啊
[25:07] – You’re obviously in the wrong place. 你显然找错地方了
[25:10] Please leave. 请你离开 "蓝调餐厅"
[25:16] – Sorry I’m late. 对不起我迟到了
[25:17] Did I miss Kiki? 琦琦走了吗?
[25:18] – Yeah, she went home. – Oh. 是啊,她回家了
[25:20] – Where’s your mom? 你妈妈呢?
[25:22] She out getting her belly button pierced? 她去穿肚脐环了吗?
[25:24] Maybe.
[25:26] – Did you guys have a good time? -可能吧
[25:28] – Uh, not really. -你们玩得开心吗? 不太算
[25:30] It was mostly just yelling and watching “Pretty Woman.” 我俩一直大吼大叫 然后看了"麻雀变凤凰"
[25:34] – Ah.. 各位听好了 今天有一位传奇人物来到现场 准备好了吗?
[25:40] – Did you have nice time? 那你玩得开心吗?
[25:44] – I did. – Okay, pop off, slut. -很开心 -不错嘛,小荡妇
[25:47] – Ladies and gentlemen… – Oh, nope, sorry. -抱歉,这样不太‥
[25:48] That’s not… – Deborah Vance! – Whoo! -黛博拉凡斯
[25:55] Go, girl! 加油
[26:00] You… you laugh. 你们笑啊
[26:03] My sister stole my husband. 我妹妹抢走了我先生
[26:09] I thought it was bad enough when she just stole my dolls. 我以为她会抢娃娃就已经够糟了
[26:16] That… that was truly the worst feeling in the world. 那真的是世上最痛苦的经历
[26:21] And I… 而我可是‥
[26:31] Actually, no, it wasn’t. 其实不是这个
[26:32] It actually wasn’t the worst feeling in the world. 那不是世上最痛苦的经历
[26:34] The worst feeling in the world was losing a late-night show. 世上最痛苦的是深夜秀被取消
[26:46] I’m serious! 我是说真的
[26:49] That was absolutely the worst. 那真的感觉糟透了
[26:51] I mean, I had the opportunity to host 我原本有机会主持
[26:53] my own late-night TV talk show. 我自己的电视深夜脱口秀
[26:57] I would’ve been the first woman ever to do that. 而且会是第一个做到的女人
[27:01] But it never aired. 但却没有成功上档
[27:04] And that had been my dream, 那一直都是我的梦想
[27:07] and I was so close. 差一点就能实现了
[27:11] I got over my husband, but I never got over that. 我已经放下我先生了 但我从来没放下这件事
[27:16] No joke. I-I-I was a wreck. 不开玩笑,我当时喝得很疯
[27:19] At one point, my little girl came up to me 我女儿一度跑来
[27:21] and she asked if it was her fault. 问这是不是她的错
[27:23] And I said, “No, honey. 我说不是
[27:26] “Of course not. I mean, the network loved you. It just”… 当然不是,电视台很爱你,但‥
[27:30] And she said… was like, “No, I mean when you and Daddy got divorced.” 她说不是,她是指我离婚的事
[27:46] Oh, that! 那件事啊
[27:53] Hey, sir, how ’bout you? 先生,你呢?
[27:56] What is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? 你一生最痛苦的经历是什么?
[27:59] – Um, I guess it’s when my mom died of cancer. 我想是我妈死于癌症
[28:04] – Cancer. That is a sad one. 癌症,的确很痛苦
[28:06] And I’m sorry. 我很遗憾
[28:08] But let me ask you a question. 但我问你一个问题
[28:11] If you had one wish, 如果你可以实现一个愿望
[28:14] would you rather bring your mom back to life… 你会想让妈妈死而复活
[28:18] or host a late-night talk show? 还是主持深夜脱口秀?
[28:22] – I would bring my mom back to life. 我会让我妈复活
[28:25] – See, I can’t relate to that! 你看,我实在无法认同
[28:29] Are you crazy? 你疯了吗?
[28:33] We’re talking 11:30 time slot here. 这可是11点半的黄金时段
[28:36] Syndication. 黄金播放权
[28:41] Deborah Vance, everybody! 黛博拉凡斯
[28:44] – That was amazing. – Yeah, that was it. 太棒了
[28:46] That was it, I’ve been doing this woe-is-me shit, 这就对了‥ 我一直在做自怜的段子
[28:49] and… and I need to balance it. 我需要调整一下
[28:50] I need to make more fun of myself. 应该要多加一点自嘲
[28:52] – Okay, but the whole point 好,但重点就是
[28:54] was to stop making yourself the butt of the joke. 不要让自己变成笑柄
[28:56] – No, but I was never the butt of the joke. 我从来都不是笑柄
[28:57] It was a caricature of myself that was. 我只是在讽刺自己罢了
[28:59] – Yeah, but you shouldn’t be the punching bag. 没错,但你不该当受气包
[29:01] I mean, you were mistreated. – No, I know. -你才是被辜负的人
[29:03] I’ve still got plenty of that stuff. -我知道,这种题材不会少
[29:04] No, no, no, but listen, 不对,听好了
[29:06] I have to admit what I did wrong too. 我也得承认我所犯下的错
[29:08] You said it yourself. 你也说过,我必须学着承担责任
[29:09] I have to hold myself accountable.
[29:10] – What? When did I say that? 什么,我什么时候说的?
[29:12] – In your stupid email. 你那封愚蠢的信啊
[29:13] I am a bully who’s been thinking of myself 我是认为自己是受害者的恶霸
[29:15] as the victim. I mean, people like me 我受人喜欢是因为
[29:17] because I take everyone down, right? 我把所有人都骂个臭头,对吧?
[29:20] Well, I need to take myself down too, 我也得骂自己
[29:22] in a real way. 认真地骂
[29:25] – Right. Right. 没错‥
[29:27] 100%. – Yeah, no, no. -你说得对 -不对‥不需要这个了
[29:28] Don’t need that. Don’t need that.
[29:29] No more, no more. 不需要了
[29:30] If it’s good, we’ll remember it. 如果点子够好就会记住
[29:32] You had the answer months ago. 你好几个月前就找到答案了
[29:35] Why didn’t you just tell me? 干吗不直接告诉我?
[29:40] – All right. 好吧
[29:42] – ♪ Ain’t got no trouble in my life ♪
[29:43] – Yeah, that premise thing… 对,大概这样,我觉得‥
[29:44] but I think… wait. But it’s a little wordy. 等等,这样太饶口了
[29:47] See, if you cut out… just end it there. 你看,如果删掉这段 这里就结尾
[29:51] How many women do you have 我得在乎多少女人
[29:52] to care about to be a feminist? 才算女性主义者?
[29:53] I mean, what if I only care about one woman? 如果我只在乎一个女人呢?
[29:56] Me! 我自己
[29:57] – ♪ I heat up ♪
[29:58] – I wasn’t a great mother. 我不是个好妈妈
[29:59] I missed my daughter’s first steps. 我错过了女儿跨出的第一步
[30:01] But I made it up to her. 但我弥补了过错
[30:03] I was the reason she did 12 more. 我是她踏上戒瘾12步的原因
[30:04] So then my doctor told me 我的医生说我必须选择
[30:07] I have to choose between breastfeeding and formula. 要喂母奶还是配方奶
[30:09] Do I want to bond with my baby, 我想要跟婴儿加深连结
[30:11] or do I want to keep my perfect breasts? 还是要保持完美胸型?
[30:12] So I turned to my husband and I said, “Go to the grocery store.” 然后我就对我先生说
[30:16] – ♪ I got the music in me ♪ ♪ I got the music in me, yeah ♪ "马上去卖场吧"
[30:22] – Okay, so I really think we go into this part after… 我想接下来可以讲这个
[30:25] – No, no, I’m adding the parent-teacher story there. 不对,我要加一个家长会的故事
[30:27] So one day, DJ had a parent-teacher conference, 有天黛洁学校办家长会
[30:30] but I had a gig in D.C., 但我得去华盛顿特区表演
[30:32] so I sent Bill, my drag impersonator. 所以我叫比尔去 专门模仿我的装扮皇后
[30:36] Anyway, DJ was scarred for life, 总之呢,黛洁一辈子都有阴影
[30:38] but I crushed at Liberty Hall. 但我那天表演超级精彩
[30:40] And then I can go into… into the Susan stuff. 然后我可以接苏珊的梗
[30:44] I erased her name. 我擦掉了她的名字
[30:45] I’ve always been so competitive with other women. 我碰到女人总是会特别好强
[30:48] I mean, I once stole backup dancers from Cher. 我还曾经抢走雪儿的伴舞
[30:52] I’m a comedian! I don’t use backup dancers. 我是喜剧家,根本不需要伴舞
[30:55] – Oh, oh, you can punch that with, “They were my”… 你可以这样结尾"他们是‥"
[30:58] – Backup backup dancers. 我备用的伴舞
[31:01] – ♪ I got the music in me ♪
[31:02] – So I was court-ordered to see a psychologist. 法院命令我去做心理咨商
[31:05] After only two sessions, he knew what was wrong with me: 在两次疗程之后 咨商师找到我的问题了
[31:08] I needed to have sex with him. 我需要跟他上床
[31:10] Yeah, most people have an hour with their therapist. 是啊,大家的疗程都是一小时
[31:12] I got three minutes. 我却只有三分钟
[31:14] – Or, “Ironically, 最讽刺的是
[31:15] he was the one therapist who never asked”… 只有这个咨商师没问过
[31:18] – And how did that make you feel? "你觉得怎么样?"
[31:19] – And you could be like, “I didn’t even know 你可以说"原来卫生纸
[31:21] the tissue box was for crying.” 是准备给你擦眼泪的"
[31:24] I didn’t even know the tissue box was for crying. 原来卫生纸 是准备给你擦眼泪的
[31:27] I thought it was for cleanup. 还以为是用来擦干净的
[31:30] – ♪ I got the music in me ♪
[31:33] – I wear high heels that hurt my back, 我穿的高跟鞋让我背痛
[31:35] most of my meals are 75% lettuce, 几乎每一餐的四分之三都是青菜
[31:37] and I get skin treatments that make my face bleed. 也做满脸流血的皮肤美容
[31:40] Not only do I not regret that, 但我一点也不会觉得辛苦
[31:42] I hate women who don’t make the effort. 因为我最讨厌懒女人了
[31:45] I think they’re quitters. 在我看来她们毫无毅力
[31:46] You think it’s brave showing your bare face 难道不上妆又露出白发给人看
[31:48] and gray hair in society? 就叫做勇敢吗?
[31:50] Try signing a waiver that says you might die 你又没签过
[31:52] during elective surgery. 因非必要手术丧命的弃权同意书
[31:53] Now that takes guts! 那才真的需要勇气
[31:58] – ♪ I got the music in me, yeah ♪
[32:02] ♪ I got the music in me ♪
[32:04] ♪ I got the music ♪
[32:06] ♪ I got the music ♪
[32:08] ♪ Pretty music ♪
[32:10] – Thank you! – ♪ I got the music ♪ 谢谢
[32:13] – Holy shit. That was amazing. – So good. -天啊,实在太精彩了 -好棒
[32:15] – We got it. Marcus, you’re gonna call Jimmy, 成功了
[32:17] you’re gonna cancel the showcase. 马可斯,打给吉米 取消参加团体表演
[32:18] – Wait, wait. What? 等等‥什么?
[32:20] – This isn’t a residency. This is bigger than Vegas. 这规模不是驻演
[32:22] This is a special. We’re gonna go to the networks 赌城容不了这场秀
[32:23] and we’re gonna sell it. 这场秀很特别 我们要去电视台推销巡演
[32:25] We’re going to LA, baby! 我们要去洛杉矶了,各位
[32:26] – Fun. 真好玩
[32:27] – ♪ I got the music in me ♪ 待续 谢谢观赏
[32:30] ♪ I got the music in me ♪
[32:32] ♪ I got the music in me ♪
[32:36] ♪ I got the music in me, I got the music in me ♪
[32:40] ♪ I got the music in me ♪
[32:43] ♪ Don’t let it get ya down, don’t let it get ya down ♪
[32:47] ♪ Don’t let it get you down ♪
[32:52] ♪ I got the music in me ♪
[32:53] ♪ I got the music in me, I got the music in me ♪
[32:59] ♪ Gonna fly like a bird on the wing ♪
[33:02] ♪ Hold on to your hat, honey ♪
[33:05] ♪ Sing, sing, sing, sing ♪
[33:07] ♪ I got the music in me, I got the music in me ♪
[33:11] ♪ I got the music in me ♪
[33:15] ♪ Don’t let it get you down, don’t let it get you down ♪
[33:19] ♪ Don’t let it get you down ♪
[33:23] ♪ I got the music in me, I got the music in me ♪
[33:27] ♪ I got the music in me ♪
[33:29] ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
[33:31] ♪ Don’t let it get you down, don’t let it get you down ♪
[33:35] ♪ Don’t let it get you down ♪
[33:39] ♪ I got the music in me ♪
绝望写手

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