| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | – I did a benefit with Shaquille O’Neal yesterday. | 我昨天跟侠客欧尼尔 一起参加慈善活动 |
| [00:10] | – Oh, yeah? | 是吗？ |
| [00:11] | – Yeah. And I swear to God, | 对，但我发誓 |
| [00:13] | your hands are bigger than his. | 你的手比他的手还大 |
| [00:17] | Should I do stock market? | 我该投资股票吗？ |
| [00:20] | – Yes. Why the hell wouldn’t you? | 当然，你怎么还没进场？ |
| [00:23] | – I like having all my money in checking, | 我喜欢把钱全部存银行 |
| [00:25] | so when I get a receipt at the ATM, | 在提款机拿到收据时 |
| [00:26] | I see a high number. | 可以看到大数字 |
| [00:28] | – And, uh–Deborah? | 黛博拉？ |
| [00:30] | – Oh, sorry. I– | 抱歉 |
| [00:33] | I’ve been approached about doing a podcast. | 有人找我做播客 |
| [00:35] | I got to say, very impressed you don’t have one. | 老实说 你没有播客让我肃然起敬 |
| [00:39] | – I know, right?Thank you so much. | 就是啊，太感谢你了 |
| [00:44] | – No, no, thank you. | 不对…应该是我谢谢你 |
| [00:48] | I’m cooking dinner for Ruby tonight. | 我今晚要为露比下厨 |
| [00:52] | Did you know you can make dressing? | 你知道沙拉酱可以自己做吗？ |
| [00:54] | It doesn’t just come as dressing in a bottle. | 可以不用只买瓶装的 |
| [00:57] | – Of course. | 当然 |
| [00:59] | I travel with my own balsamic. | 我出门都自己带巴沙米克醋 |
| [01:01] | I’d be selling it, too, if goddamn Newman | 要不是可恶的纽曼独占市场 |
| [01:03] | hadn’t cornered the market. | 我都想卖了 |
| [01:07] | – Sorry. Sorry. | 抱歉… |
| [01:11] | The richest man in the country. | 全国最有钱的人 |
| [01:13] | What time were you born? | 你是几点出生的？ |
| [01:14] | I wanna look at your birth chart to see | 我想看你的天宫图 才能知道你的１２宫在哪里 |
| [01:16] | what houses your planets are in. | 习惯基本上就是… |
| [01:18] | – Don’t know, but I can tell you | 不知道，但我可以告诉你 |
| [01:20] | what cities my houses are in– | 我在哪些城市有房 |
| [01:22] | uh, Vegas, Aspen, LA, | 赌城，阿斯本 洛城 |
| [01:24] | Jackson Hole, Palm Beach, | 杰克孙谷，棕榈滩 |
| [01:25] | and if penthouses count, Dubai. | 如果要包含顶楼别墅，还有杜拜 |
| [01:29] | Remind me, do you observe Lent? | 我忘了，你过不过四旬斋？ |
| [01:31] | – Absolutely not.Do you? | 当然不过，你呢？ |
| [01:38] | – Hi, honey, it’s Josefina. | 亲爱的，我是约瑟菲娜 |
| [01:39] | Deborah took an Ambien | 黛博拉吃了安眠药 |
| [01:41] | but will text you in the morning… | 她早上会再传简讯给你 |
| [01:43] | or in the afternoon if it was 20 milligrams. | 如果吃了２０毫克，就是下午传 |
| [01:46] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [02:01] | – Hey, quiet on set. We’re close. | 片场保持安静，快好了 |
| [02:04] | – Hey, Deborah, I’m Mark, the first AD. | 黛博拉，我是第一副导马克 |
| [02:07] | – Yeah. – We’re almost ready to go. | －请说 －我们快可以拍了 |
| [02:09] | We’re just waiting on the fountains. | 正在等喷泉 |
| [02:10] | Can we get your stand-in so you’re out of the sun? | 要找替身来吗？ 你就不用晒太阳了 |
| [02:12] | – Oh, no, it’s fine, baby. I’ve got an umbrella coming in. | －没关系，我叫人拿阳伞来了 |
| [02:14] | – Okay. – Move it! | －好的 -让开 |
| [02:20] | Hi. – Thanks. | －谢谢 |
| [02:21] | – So I bumped into the booker for late night, | －我碰到＂深夜秀＂通告人员 |
| [02:23] | and he said again how much they’d love to have you on. | 他又说很想请你上节目 |
| [02:26] | – Eh, no.I-I got too much going on. | 不要，我现在太忙了 |
| [02:28] | – Really? Because you did make time | 真的吗，因为你抽时间 |
| [02:30] | to do this ad for the Vegas Chamber of Commerce. | 帮拉斯维加斯商会拍了一支广告 |
| [02:33] | – I love Vegas. I love commerce. | 我喜欢维加斯，也喜欢商业 |
| [02:36] | Let’s just pass on it for now. | 我暂时不想上深夜秀 |
| [02:37] | – This is the fourth time they’ve asked. | 他们已经问第四次了 |
| [02:39] | And your special was a year ago now. | 你的特辑推出一年了 |
| [02:41] | They’re not gonna ask again, | 他们不会再问的 |
| [02:42] | and I really think this is the moment. | 我觉得现在时机正好 |
| [02:44] | – The answer is no. – No means no, Jimmy. | －我不要 -不要就是不要，吉米 |
| [02:45] | Get over it. | 别再执著了 |
| [02:47] | I got you, girl. | 我挺你，姊姊 |
| [02:48] | – Okay, yes, but I need you to explain why. | 好吧，但我得给他们一个理由 |
| [02:51] | – I can’t keep passing on something | 我不能一直拒绝 |
| [02:53] | that I think as your manager you should be doing. | 我身为经理觉得你该把握的机会 |
| [02:56] | – That’s the show I almost hosted, Jimmy. | 吉米，那是我差点 就当上主持人的节目 |
| [02:59] | After my special, everybody knows how badly I wanted that. | 推出特辑后，大家都知道 我多渴望那个工作了 |
| [03:03] | So if I go on the show and I don’t kill… | 如果我上深夜秀却表现不好 |
| [03:06] | it’s like, you know, of course she isn’t hosting. | 大家会说＂难怪没找她主持 |
| [03:08] | She’s not even a good guest. | 她连当来宾都好烂＂ |
| [03:10] | – Oh. | 哦 |
| [03:12] | – What? | 干吗？ |
| [03:14] | – That’s just kind of lame of you. | 你这样很逊 |
| [03:16] | – Excuse me? | 你说什么？ |
| [03:17] | – Spicy boy. | 讲话很呛喔 |
| [03:19] | – Deborah, of course you’re gonna kill. | 黛博拉，你表现一定会很好 |
| [03:21] | You always kill. All you need to do | 你一直都是，讲个精彩故事就好 |
| [03:23] | is tell a good story, and I bet you have binders | 我敢打赌你有 |
| [03:25] | full of amazing stories to tell. | 一箩筐的精彩故事可以说 |
| [03:27] | – Rolodexes. – See? All right, you know, | －好几箩筐 －看吧 |
| [03:29] | I’m just gonna tell ’em you’re gonna do it, unless you want me | 我就直接答应他们了 除非你要 |
| [03:31] | to offer them Vanna White singing “We Are The World.” | 让凡娜怀特去唱 ＂四海一家＂ |
| [03:33] | – In C flat. Do you guys want to hear it? | 降Ｃ调，想听吗？ |
| [03:35] | She sent me a voice memo of the whole thing. | 她传了语音备忘录给我 |
| [03:37] | both: No. | 不要… |
| [03:39] | – Fine, I’ll do it. | －好啦，我去 |
| [03:40] | Tell them I’ll do it. both: Yes. | 说我答应了 －太好了… |
| [03:41] | – Okay, this is a good decision | 这是个简单的 |
| [03:43] | that was very simple. I’m glad we… | 明智决定 很高兴我们… |
| [03:44] | – We’re ready! – Worked it out. | －准备开始 －有共识了 |
| [03:45] | Okay, we’re ready. | 要开始了 |
| [03:46] | Break a leg, girl. – Whoo! | 演出顺利 |
| [03:49] | – We’re ready. | 准备 |
| [03:51] | – Background. – Background! | 背景演员… |
| [03:54] | – And action.- The shopping! | －开始 －购物 |
| [03:57] | – Cut. | 卡 |
| [03:58] | We got it. That is a wrap on Deborah. | 拍到了，黛博拉杀青了 |
| [04:02] | – Hey, hey, eye. – What? Are you okay? | －小心眼睛 －干吗，没事吧？ |
| [04:04] | – Watch my eye. Yeah. – Jimmy, where’s the car? | －吉米，去开车 |
| [04:06] | – It’s right over here. – Come here, queen. | －在这里 －天后这边请 |
| [04:08] | All right, we had them double-park. | －我们是并排停车 |
| [04:26] | – Okay, so Tripadvisor is– | 旅游评论网… |
| [04:28] | – Oh, my God, can I just have… | 天啊，先让我喘口气 |
| [04:29] | – Oh. – Like, one second? | |
| [04:31] | – Yeah, sorry. | 好 |
| [04:36] | – Okay, so Tripadvisor is– | 旅游评论网… |
| [04:41] | Sorry, but if we want to stay in a gligloo | 抱歉，若我们在冰岛 |
| [04:43] | when we’re in Iceland, all the reviews are saying | 要住豪冰屋 评论都说 |
| [04:45] | that we need to book now. | 必须现在就预订 |
| [04:47] | – A gligloo? | －豪冰屋？ |
| [04:48] | – Glam igloo. – Oh. | －豪华冰屋 |
| [04:49] | – Could be chic. – Mm-hmm. | 可能很炫 |
| [04:51] | – I know the show hasn’t given you your dates yet, but– | 我知道剧组 还没跟你敲定日期，但是… |
| [04:54] | – Just book it. | 直接订吧 |
| [04:56] | – Are you sure? – Yeah. | －你确定？ －对 |
| [04:58] | Let’s do whatever you want. | 你想做什么都行 |
| [05:00] | You’re spending your whole hiatus where I’m shooting. | 你休假都待在我拍戏的地方 |
| [05:03] | I’ll tell them they have to work around it, | 我会叫剧组把时间排开 |
| [05:05] | and they’ll just have to deal. | 他们也只能接受 |
| [05:07] | – Okay. | 好喔 |
| [05:08] | Very hot number-one-on-the- call-sheet energy, baby. | 果然有大女主的气势，宝贝 |
| [05:26] | – Deborah, right here. | 黛博拉，这里 |
| [05:28] | – We’ve got Arnold, Carmen, and Carmen’s cousin. | 这是阿诺，卡门和卡门的表兄弟 |
| [05:31] | – Arnold. | 阿诺 |
| [05:32] | Oh, my goodness.Oh, and the cousins are here. | 天啊，表兄弟都来了 |
| [05:35] | – Hey, Deborah, looking gorgeous. | 黛博拉，你好美 |
| [05:37] | Can you just write, to Kevin, | 请写＂给凯文 |
| [05:39] | congrats on your gastric bypass. | 恭喜胃绕道手术成功＂ |
| [05:42] | – Hope this one sticks, honey. – Oh, thank you so much. | －希望这次效果可以持续 －感谢 |
| [05:44] | – Deb, I found out our dogs go to the same groomer. | 小黛，我发现 我们狗狗的美容师是同一个 |
| [05:47] | – What’s this? – It’s a candle.- This is two chins ago. | －这是什么？ －是蜡烛 -那是我没做下巴的照片 |
| [05:49] | I never would have approved this.Where’d you get it? | 我绝不可能核准 哪里买的？ |
| [05:51] | – I bought it off of Etsy.- Who the fuck is Betsy? | －我在爱西买的 -贝西是哪根葱？ |
| [05:54] | – No, Etsy, it’s a website. | 不是，＂爱西＂是个网站 |
| [05:55] | There’s a lot of DV merch on there. | 上面有很多黛凡的商品 |
| [05:57] | I actually just bought a replica of your birth certificate. | 我刚买了你出生证明的复制品 |
| [06:03] | – Damien! | 戴米恩 |
| [06:04] | – I’m right here. – Did you know about this? | 我在这里 －你知情吗？ |
| [06:06] | – No. | －不知道 |
| [06:07] | – I’m taking this. | 这个我拿走了 |
| [06:11] | – She took my candle. | 她拿了我的蜡烛 |
| [06:16] | – Let’s call Grandma. | 快打电话告诉奶奶 |
| [06:29] | – And what are these? | 这些是什么？ |
| [06:31] | – These are websites I printed out. | 这些是我印出来的网站 |
| [06:32] | – Oh. Good? | －好棒？ |
| [06:35] | – Do you know how many sellers there are on Etsy | －你知道爱西网上有多少卖家 |
| [06:37] | making a profit off my name and likeness? | 用我的名号和肖像赚钱吗？ |
| [06:40] | – I don’t. – Look at this first one. | －不知道 －你看第一个 |
| [06:42] | This is a throw pillow. | 这是个抱枕 |
| [06:44] | Okay, it says, tax loopholes are my love language. | 上面写＂报税漏洞是我的爱之语＂ |
| [06:47] | Now, that’s true, but, I mean, I didn’t authorize this. | 虽然没错，但是我没有授权 |
| [06:49] | Did you? | 你有吗？ |
| [06:50] | – No, but now I want this pillow. | 没有，但这下我也想要这个抱枕了 |
| [06:52] | – It’s not funny, Marcus. This needs to stop now. | 马可斯，不好笑 赶快遏制这股歪风 |
| [06:55] | – Okay, okay, I’ll get on it. | 好…我会处理 |
| [06:57] | – Look at this.It’s a coffee cup that says, | 你看这个咖啡杯上面写 |
| [07:00] | I’m so old, I went apple picking with Eve. | ＂我老到跟夏娃一起摘过苹果＂ |
| [07:03] | I mean, I like the joke, but I hate that font. | 挺好笑的，但是字体有够丑 |
| [07:41] | Okay. | 好喔 |
| [08:12] | – Okay.This is your last late night story. | 这是你最后一个深夜秀的故事 |
| [08:15] | – You’ve gone through the whole Rolodex? | 几大箩筐都讲完了吗？ |
| [08:17] | – Uh-huh. It’s USO debacle in Germany. | 这个讲的是联合劳军组织 在德国的闹剧 |
| [08:21] | – That’s a good one, but that hinges | 这个很好笑，但前提 |
| [08:23] | on the Berlin Wall still being erect. | 是柏林围墙还在 |
| [08:25] | – I just think you do the other one, | 不如你就讲另一个 |
| [08:27] | change Studio 54 to Buddha Bar and Quaaludes to fentanyl. | 把５４俱乐部改成佛陀酒吧 把安眠酮换成吩坦尼 |
| [08:29] | – Oh, that is sad. | 太悲惨了 |
| [08:32] | Buddha Bar is no Studio 54. | 佛陀酒吧和５４俱乐部差远了 |
| [08:34] | – Yeah, sure. – God damn it. | 该死的 |
| [08:36] | Martha Stewart is so lucky she went to jail. | 玛莎史都华坐牢是走狗屎运 |
| [08:38] | I mean, that shit’s evergreen. | 那个话题永远不会过气 |
| [08:40] | – Why don’t you tell a more recent story? | 不如你讲个比较新的故事 |
| [08:42] | You can talk about your new horsehair bed from Austria. | 记得你那张奥地利的马毛床吗 |
| [08:44] | Remember when we thought it wouldn’t fit | 我们以为塞不进窗户 |
| [08:46] | through the window but then it did? | 但后来成功了 |
| [08:48] | – Yeah, very relatable. | 对啦，观众一定有共鸣 |
| [08:50] | Are you sure you didn’t miss anything in there? | 你确定所有笑话都看过了吗？ |
| [08:52] | – Let me check. | 我看看 |
| [08:54] | Did it, did it. | 讲过了… |
| [08:55] | Oh, Benihana’s with O.J. Simpson. | 红花铁板烧跟ＯＪ辛普森… |
| [08:59] | No. – Forget it. | －不行 －算了 |
| [09:02] | You know what? | 这样吧 |
| [09:04] | I’m going to make a new story. | 我要创造一个新的故事 |
| [09:12] | – Scott Thompson? | 史考特汤普森？ |
| [09:14] | – Carrot Top, yeah. How can I help you? | 我是胡萝卜头，有什么事？ |
| [09:15] | – As you know, this land has been zoned | 你也知道本区已经划为 |
| [09:17] | a historic environmental preservation zone. | 历史环境保护区了 |
| [09:19] | We’re going to need you to vacate | 请马上撤离 |
| [09:20] | the premises immediately so we can begin demolition. | 让我们展开拆除作业 |
| [09:22] | – Demolition? What the fuck are you talking about? | 拆除作业？ 你在说什么？ |
| [09:24] | – Yes, sir. There was a city council meeting | 没错，市议会已经 |
| [09:25] | where this was discussed. | 讨论过这件事了 |
| [09:27] | – No one has ever discussed anything with me about any– | 没有人跟我讨论过 |
| [09:29] | – Please put whatever belongings will fit into this bag. | －个人物品请放进这个袋子 |
| [09:31] | – Are you fucking kidding me? | －你在开玩笑吗？ |
| [09:32] | – Demolition will begin in 20 minutes. | 拆除作业将在２０分钟后开始 |
| [09:34] | – 20 minutes? This is a joke. | ２０分钟？ 开什么玩笑 |
| [09:36] | – Mr. Top, we sent several notices. | 头先生，我们寄了好几张通知 |
| [09:38] | – You didn’t send jack shit, and I don’t think | 你们啥都没寄 |
| [09:40] | you have the right fucking house. | 你们找错房子了 |
| [09:41] | See if you have the right fucking house on there. | 查一下是不是找错了 |
| [09:43] | – 1929 Chickasaw Way. – God damn it! | －奇克索路１９２９号 －天杀的 |
| [09:47] | – Wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等一下… |
| [09:49] | Wait, no, stop, you can’t do this! | 停，你们不能这样 |
| [09:51] | Wait! | 等等 |
| [09:56] | I got you. I got you. | 你上当了… |
| [09:57] | – Deborah? – Oh, thanks so much. | －黛博拉？ －太感谢你了 |
| [09:59] | I needed a story for late night. | 我上深夜秀需要一个故事 |
| [10:01] | This is going to play like gangbusters. | 这段肯定会搏得满堂彩 |
| [10:03] | – Do not have anything better to do with your time? | 你没有别的事好做吗？ |
| [10:05] | What the fuck is wrong with you? | 你有什么毛病？ |
| [10:07] | – Oh, lighten up. | 别这么激动 |
| [10:09] | What’s wrong with me? | 想知道我有什么毛病？ |
| [10:10] | What’s wrong with your landscaper? | 你的园丁才有毛病 |
| [10:12] | Look at this shrub. It’s dead. | 这棵树都死了 |
| [10:14] | I should take that out. | 我来挖掉好了 |
| [10:16] | – Jesus. No, stop it. | 妈呀，不可以 |
| [10:18] | Stop, stop, stop! | 住手… |
| [10:19] | I fucking love that bush! | 我超爱那丛 |
| [10:32] | – Marcus. | 马可斯 |
| [10:33] | – Ezekiel. | 以西结 |
| [10:35] | So you’re “DebbieTwoTon,” huh? | 你就是＂黛比兔塔＂？ |
| [10:38] | – Mm-hmm. | 嗯嗯 |
| [10:41] | – Ezekiel, do you know what this is? | 以西结，知道这是什么吗？ |
| [10:44] | – A candle. – But who is on the candle? | －一根蜡烛 －蜡烛上那个人是谁？ |
| [10:47] | – The greatest living comedian of our time. | －当代最伟大的喜剧家 |
| [10:48] | – You have a problem. | －你麻烦大了 |
| [10:50] | First of all, this candle is not soy based. | 首先这根蜡烛不是大豆制品 |
| [10:52] | That’s going to be a dirty burn. | －烧起来会造成污染 |
| [10:53] | – Fuck. | －可恶 |
| [10:55] | – But your real problem is that you’re running | 但真正的麻烦是你开网店 |
| [10:57] | an Etsy store selling unauthorized merchandise. | 贩售未获授权的商品 |
| [10:59] | And my very litigious business associate can sue you | 我的合伙人很爱打官司 |
| [11:02] | for trademark infringement. | 她会告你商标侵权 |
| [11:03] | – It would be an honor to be in litigation with Deborah. | 跟黛博拉打官司是我的荣幸 |
| [11:07] | And, also, I will not be policed by some straight guy | 而且我拒绝被直男指手画脚 |
| [11:10] | who doesn’t get it because he’s not even a fan. | 你不懂因为你根本不是粉丝 |
| [11:11] | – I’m not straight. | －我不是直男 |
| [11:13] | – Prove it. | －证明啊 |
| [11:15] | – And just so you know, I am the original fan. | 跟你说一声，我就是最原始的铁粉 |
| [11:19] | I created the first Deborah Vance merchandise. | 最早的周边产品就是我设计的 |
| [11:21] | – I am the original fan. | 原始铁粉是我 |
| [11:23] | I’ve seen every one of her specials over 40 times. | 她所有特辑我都看了至少４０遍 |
| [11:25] | – Okay. Then what was her most well-attended overseas show? | 好，那她最卖座的 海外演出是哪一场？ |
| [11:27] | – Stockholm ’97. Her birthday. | 斯德哥尔摩，９７年生日当天 |
| [11:28] | Her real birthday. | －她真正的生日？ |
| [11:30] | – Same day, two years earlier. Bra size? | －相同日期，早了两年 －胸罩尺寸？ |
| [11:31] | – None. She does custom. | －没有，全部订做 |
| [11:33] | What’s her favorite food if calories don’t count? | 不算热量，她最爱吃什么？ |
| [11:35] | – Potatoes dauphinoise. If calories do count? | 马铃薯千层派 如果算热量呢？ |
| [11:37] | – Endive salad, no croutons. | 苦苣沙拉，不放面包屑 |
| [11:38] | Okay.What’s her favorite snack? | 好喔，她最爱的零食？ |
| [11:41] | – Ezekiel, that’s a trick question. | 陷阱题 |
| [11:43] | Deborah Vance doesn’t snack, | 黛博拉凡斯不吃零食 |
| [11:44] | but she’s contractually obligated to say– | －但合约规定她要说麦纤脆饼 |
| [11:46] | Wheat Thins. | －麦纤脆饼 |
| [11:47] | – Are you as turned on as I am? – No. | 你跟我一样性致勃勃吗？ |
| [11:50] | You have 48 hours to fulfill all outstanding orders, | 没有，给你４８小时出货 |
| [11:52] | and then you will shut this site down. | 然后就要关闭网站 |
| [11:55] | – I had no choice. | 我也别无选择 |
| [11:57] | I have always wanted a Deborah Vance tour jacket, | 我一直都很想要一件 黛博拉凡斯的巡演夹克 |
| [12:00] | and they were always too small. | 但是都太小了 |
| [12:03] | So I made some in my size, and they sold out within a day. | 所以我做了几件我的尺码 结果一天就卖光了 |
| [12:06] | There is a community of people out there | 有许多人对这些商品需求若渴 |
| [12:08] | who are hungry for this stuff, and I gave it to them. | 我满足了他们的需求 |
| [12:13] | Then, naturally, I branched out into unlicensed cookbooks, | 我自然开始多角化经营 贩卖未获授权的食谱 |
| [12:17] | oven mitts, cell phone cases. | 隔热手套，手机壳… |
| [12:19] | – You know, the more you talk, the stronger my lawsuit gets. | 你说得越多，我告你的理由就越充分 |
| [12:21] | – Okay, okay. | 好啦… |
| [12:23] | But if I don’t do it, someone else will. | 但就算我不卖，也会有别人卖 |
| [12:26] | Good day, Ezekiel. | 再见，以西结 |
| [12:34] | Push and feel the pain. | 用力，感受酸痛 |
| [12:37] | – Here we go. Come on. Keep going. | 这样就对了，继续 |
| [12:38] | Nice. | 很好 |
| [12:39] | – Hey. – Hey. | 嘿 – 嘿 |
| [12:41] | – Made you something. Matcha. | 我帮你做了一杯抹茶 |
| [12:43] | – Oh, thanks. Put it over on the big tire. | 谢了，放在大轮胎那里 |
| [12:47] | – And time. | 时间到 |
| [12:48] | Good. Go right into squat jumps. | 很好，直接开始蹲跳 |
| [12:50] | Down, explode. Nice. | 下去…很好 |
| [12:51] | – So I was just thinking, maybe we should get some new silverware. | 我刚在想也许该买一些新的餐具 |
| [12:57] | – Yeah, sure. | 行，好啊 |
| [12:58] | – You have 15 seconds. Push. | 还有１５秒，加油 |
| [13:00] | – It’s just that I have my silverware,and you have your silverware, | 我们目前各有各的餐具 |
| [13:03] | but I just thought it would be nice if we had, like, our silverware. | 买一些我们共同的应该很不错 |
| [13:07] | – Yeah, sure. New silverware. | 好啊，没问题，买新的 |
| [13:09] | – Time. Nice. Back on the rope. | 时间到，很好，续续甩战绳 |
| [13:11] | Back on the rope. Right to it. | 续续甩战绳…快点 |
| [13:13] | – Okay. Enjoy your matcha. | 好啰，别忘了喝抹茶 |
| [13:16] | Don’t know why she’s doing all that. | 不懂干吗这么拚 |
| [13:17] | Perfect the way she is. | 原来的样子就很完美了 |
| [13:19] | Love you. | 爱你哟 |
| [13:20] | – Love you. | 我也爱你 |
| [13:22] | – And time. | 时间到 |
| [13:27] | – She has scoliosis. | 她有脊椎侧弯 |
| [13:29] | – I know. | 我知道 |
| [13:30] | – Ready for the bike? | 准备踩飞轮了吗？ |
| [13:32] | I’m ready. – Yeah. | 我准备好了 – 好 |
| [13:34] | – And then I told him we could sue him if he didn’t stop. | 我说我们会告他，除非他停止 |
| [13:37] | – Good. That should settle it. | 很好，搞定了 |
| [13:39] | – But then he said something interesting. | 后来他说了很有趣的事情 |
| [13:41] | Basically, people were asking him to make these products. | 基本上是消费者要求他做这些商品 |
| [13:44] | He was only meeting a demand that was already there. | 他只是满足了原本就存在的需求 |
| [13:46] | – So? | －所以呢？ |
| [13:48] | – So I think we should bring him in and the other sellers. | －我们应该收编他和其他卖家 |
| [13:50] | They understand the Deborah Vance marketplace, | 他们了解黛博拉凡斯的市场 |
| [13:52] | because they are the marketplace. | 因为他们就是市场 |
| [13:54] | – Oh, so we bring them in, and then we sue them. | 先收编再告死他们？ |
| [13:57] | – No, no.We bring in the independent creators, | 不是…我们找到这些个体户 |
| [14:00] | and we spotlight them on QVC. | 在购物台上强力宣传他们 |
| [14:03] | Listen, we’ve had an amazing year. | 我们这年过得很好 |
| [14:04] | Your profile is raised, | 你的知名度提高了 |
| [14:06] | and that’s been hugely helpful for the company. | 对公司大有助益 |
| [14:08] | But if we want to really scale up, | 但如果想更上一层楼 |
| [14:09] | we’ve got to start branching out and putting your stamp | 我们必须开始多角化经营 |
| [14:11] | of approval on outside products, | 帮别人的商品背书 |
| [14:13] | the way Oprah did with her Favorite Things. | 像欧普拉的最爱清单 |
| [14:15] | – I like Oprah. – Everyone does. | －我喜欢欧普拉 －大家都喜欢 |
| [14:17] | But this would be a special hour every week on QVC | 以后每周在购物台 用一个小时 |
| [14:20] | devoted to the House of Vance. | 专门介绍凡斯之家 |
| [14:22] | And for every sale, we get a cut, naturally. | 每卖出一件商品，我们自然就能抽成 |
| [14:26] | – And after that, we sue them. | 然后再告他们 |
| [14:27] | Oh, Jesus, I’m kidding. | 开玩笑的啦 |
| [14:29] | But I’m afraid that QVC might think | 但我担心购物台可能会觉得 |
| [14:32] | we’re diluting the brand. | 我们稀释了这个品牌 |
| [14:33] | I mean, it could backfire. | 说不定会适得其反 |
| [14:35] | – It won’t.Trust me. | 不会的，相信我 |
| [14:38] | – Okay.Let’s pitch it on Monday’s call. | 好，星期一电话会议时提出来 |
| [14:41] | – All right. | 好 |
| [14:50] | – Hello.- Yeah, mama. | －你好 －大姐 |
| [14:53] | – So how you feeling? – Really good. | －你觉得如何？ －非常好 |
| [14:56] | You were right. This is the right moment to do this. | 你说得对，现在上这个节目时机正好 |
| [14:59] | – Definitely. – It’s going to kill. | －没错 －一定很精彩 |
| [15:00] | – All gold. – Kill. | 绝对棒到不行 |
| [15:02] | – Is that hazelnut coffee? | －那是榛果咖啡吗？ |
| [15:04] | – Yeah.- Yeah. – Oh. | －对 |
| [15:07] | And then I went right over his shrubs. | 之后我辗过他的树丛 |
| [15:09] | I guess you could say I trimmed Carrot’s top. | 算是帮胡萝卜头剃头了 |
| [15:10] | – Fun. | －好笑… |
| [15:12] | – Does that work? – Yeah, that’s fun. | －这样可以吗，很好 |
| [15:13] | – Hey, so, little problem. | 有个小问题 |
| [15:15] | Danny’s got salmonella from the egg toss | 丹尼感染了沙门杆菌 |
| [15:18] | he did with Christiane Amanpour yesterday. | 因为他昨天 跟克莉丝汀艾曼普玩抛鸡蛋 |
| [15:20] | We have to cancel and air a rerun. | 今天录影取消，改重播旧节目 |
| [15:22] | – No. Oh. | 不要啦 |
| [15:23] | – Really sorry, Deborah. | 很抱歉，黛博拉 |
| [15:25] | Shit, I’ve got to release the audience. | 可恶，我得去叫观众回家 |
| [15:27] | Shit, will you guys excuse me a minute? | 恕我失陪一下 |
| [15:29] | – Wait, hey, um, what if Deborah guest-hosts? | 等等 如果让黛博拉客座主持呢？ |
| [15:33] | I mean, Danny’s a fan, right? | 丹尼是她的粉丝吧 而且她一定很出色 |
| [15:35] | And you know she’d be great. She almost hosted herself. | 她差点就自己当上主持人 |
| [15:38] | – Would you? | 你愿意吗？ |
| [15:40] | – Yeah, I can do that. | 好啊，我愿意 |
| [15:42] | – Okay. | 好啊 |
| [15:43] | Um, I have to get approval from Winnie Landell, but– | 我要先问过温妮兰德尔，但… |
| [15:45] | – Oh, my God, Winnie Landell, I know her. | 天啊，温妮兰德尔？ 我认识她 |
| [15:47] | We met in Montreal. – Okay. | 我们在蒙特娄见过 |
| [15:49] | – Yeah, yeah. | －好喔 －对… |
| [15:51] | – We’re going to have to move really fast if this is– | 那我们得快点动起来… |
| [15:53] | – Yeah, let’s go. Where are my writers? | 那走吧，我的写手呢？ |
| [15:55] | – You made them wait outside because they have | 你叫他们在外面等 因为他们 |
| [15:57] | hazelnut coffee breath. | 有榛果咖啡口臭 |
| [15:59] | – Well, find some mints. – Mints. | －找点爽口糖 －好 |
| [16:01] | – We have a monologue to write. | 得写一段开场 |
| [16:02] | – We’re going to need a guest for the second act. | 第二幕需要来宾 |
| [16:04] | – You know, let us help with that. | －交给我们吧 |
| [16:06] | We can help. – Yeah, we can help with that. | －对，我们可以帮忙 －打几通电话 |
| [16:07] | – Get–get– | －快去… |
| [16:12] | – We have some pitches that we think you’re really going to like, Deborah. | 我们有几个你可能会喜欢的想法 |
| [16:15] | – Great, great. Okay. Well, we don’t have much time, | 太好了，我们时间不多 |
| [16:18] | so there’s no such thing as a bad idea. | 没有所谓的坏点子，快说吧 |
| [16:19] | Let’s hear them. – John. | －约翰？ －也许可以演一段短剧 |
| [16:21] | – So maybe an in-studio sketch where you try not to set | 你努力不要放火烧桌子 |
| [16:23] | your desk on fire but can’t. – Uh-huh. | 但是做不到 |
| [16:26] | – Because of the whole, like, burning-down-the-house thing. | －因为你放火烧房子的事 |
| [16:27] | – Yeah, I got it. I got it. | －对…我懂 |
| [16:28] | Anything else? | －有别的吗？ |
| [16:30] | – What about a desk piece where you go through celebrities | －不如你坐在主持台前 |
| [16:32] | and guess their favorite sex position? | 猜不同名人最喜欢的性爱姿势 |
| [16:35] | Like Daniel Radcliffe’s could be Dobby style. | 例如丹尼尔雷德克里夫 最喜欢＂多比式＂ |
| [16:38] | – What? | －什么？ |
| [16:39] | – Like doggy style… | －就是小狗式 |
| [16:42] | but Dobby. | 但换成多比？ |
| [16:44] | – So how long till we tape, again? | 离录影还有多久？ |
| [16:46] | – About an hour. | 大概一个小时 |
| [16:47] | Yeah. – Yeah. | 对… |
| [16:50] | – What if we put you in a Lincoln hat, | 不如你戴一顶林肯帽 |
| [16:52] | and you punch a sack of corn? | 再捶一袋玉米？ |
| [16:54] | – No, no, no. I totally get it. It’s fine. | 我懂，没问题，我们再回头讨论 |
| [16:56] | We’ll circle back. Okay, all right, bye. | 好了，再见 |
| [16:58] | Shit, she’s in New York. | 可恶，她在纽约 |
| [16:59] | – What about your mom? – No. | －你妈呢？ －不行 |
| [17:02] | My mom’s Deidre Hall from “Days of Our Lives.” | 我妈是黛德丽霍尔 演过＂我们的日子＂ |
| [17:05] | Honestly, she’s always camera ready, | 说真的，她随时都能上镜 |
| [17:07] | but I’m not sure it’s worth it. | 但我不确定划不划得来 |
| [17:08] | – Oh, my God, Reese Witherspoon, I love her. | 天啊，瑞丝薇斯朋，我超喜欢她 |
| [17:10] | – Do you have a connection to her? | 你跟她有关系？ |
| [17:12] | – I feel like I do. I love her.I just said that. | 我觉得有，我刚刚才说过喜欢她 |
| [17:16] | Someone needs to listen. | 我说话你要听啊 |
| [17:19] | – What if you sing? | 不如唱歌吧 |
| [17:20] | You know, you could really show off your musical-comedy chops. | 露一手你音乐喜剧的实力 |
| [17:23] | – Musical comedy is an oxymoron. | ＂音乐喜剧＂这个词 本身就很矛盾 |
| [17:25] | – Yes, of course. | 当然 |
| [17:27] | – What about a desk piece, and we call “Deb-it or Credit.” | 不如安排主持台桥段 叫做＂黛比或信用？＂ |
| [17:29] | – Good, good. So what is it? | 很好…要做什么？ |
| [17:31] | – Oh, I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [17:32] | I was just seeing if you liked the title first. | 只是想先看看 这个名字行不行 |
| [17:35] | – Oh, oh, you wear a wig, right? | 你戴假发吧？ |
| [17:38] | – Yes. – Maybe something with that? | －对 －也许可以用那个做文章？ |
| [17:41] | – Something with wigs? | 用假发做文章？ |
| [17:44] | – Yeah. | 对 |
| [17:48] | – Hey. | 嘿 |
| [17:49] | – Yeah, hi, this is going to be quick, | 我长话短说，时间不多 |
| [17:51] | because I don’t have much time. – Okay. | 气氛十足喔 |
| [17:53] | Loving this energy. Very “Bourne Identity.” | 很有＂神鬼认证＂的感觉 |
| [17:55] | – Well, listen, Danny Collins is out sick. | 听著，丹尼柯林斯生病了 |
| [17:57] | – Oh, shit. | 可恶 |
| [17:58] | But trimming Carrot Top’s bush. | 你都修了胡萝卜头家的树丛 |
| [18:00] | – Yeah, I know, I know. But listen. | 我知道，听著 |
| [18:02] | I’m going to guest host. And so that’s happening. | 我要客座主持，就是这么一回事 |
| [18:05] | – Oh, my God, that’s amazing. – Yeah. | 天啊，太棒了 是啊 |
| [18:07] | We’re throwing together a show, like, right now, now. | 马上就要始录影了 |
| [18:10] | So would it be okay if I, uh, | 我可以问问你 |
| [18:14] | you know, asked you your opinion about a joke? | 对一个笑话的意见吗？ |
| [18:18] | – Sure. – Okay, thanks. How’s this? | －当然可以 －谢了 这样如何 |
| [18:20] | Danny has salmonella. | 丹尼感染了沙门氏杆菌 |
| [18:22] | The good news is, no one can directly | 好消息是没人能证明 |
| [18:24] | connect me with the purchase of any toxic chemicals. | 我买过有毒化学药品 |
| [18:26] | – What about the good news is, we’re saving the network money | 不如改成 好消息是我们帮电视台省钱了 |
| [18:29] | ’cause I only cost 80 cents on the dollar. | 因为我的价码只有他的八成 |
| [18:30] | That’s good.That’s good. I like that. | 很好…我喜欢 |
| [18:34] | – Well, I’m getting a lot of texts here from my mom. | 我妈一直传简讯来 |
| [18:36] | She’s wondering if she can get a car and driver to the show | 她问赶通告的车和司机 |
| [18:38] | and then keep it after. | 录影后可以留著吗？ |
| [18:39] | – His mom has an incredible body. | 他妈妈的身材一级棒 |
| [18:42] | – Kayla, I don’t want to hear that, though. | －凯菈，我不想听，拜托 |
| [18:43] | – It’s a compliment. – Please. | －玲珑有致，这是赞美耶 |
| [18:45] | – What? Perfect ass. | 怎么了，完美的翘臀 |
| [18:47] | – Kayla, this is my mother you’re talking about. | －凯菈，这可是我妈 －怎么了？ |
| [18:49] | You’re giving me a bad taste in my mouth. | －你这样害我很反胃 |
| [18:50] | – You’re giving me a bad taste in my mouth. | －你也害我很反胃 |
| [18:52] | – Stop talking about my mom. | －别再说我妈妈的事了 |
| [18:53] | – Okay, sorry that I complimented your mom’s body. | －抱歉赞美了你妈的身体 |
| [18:55] | You never say anything about my mom’s body. | －你从来不提我妈的身体 |
| [18:57] | – It would be wildly inappropriate if I did. | －那也太不恰当了吧 |
| [18:58] | Why would I talk about your mother’s body? | －我干吗讨论你妈的身体？ |
| [19:00] | – She’s cute. | －她很美呀 |
| [19:01] | – Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be funny. | 好…那样很好笑 |
| [19:03] | And–yes. And for a desk piece.Oh, the visual. | 再来是主持台单元 |
| [19:07] | The visual would be great. – Oh, my God. | 视觉效果会很棒 |
| [19:08] | – And then we could tag it with– | 然后再加上… |
| [19:09] | Yes, oh, that’s perfect. | 对，太完美了 |
| [19:11] | Yes. Oh, my God, that’s the perfect opener. | 天啊，这样开场超棒 |
| [19:13] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:19] | Look, I know you probably can’t, but… | 我知道你可能没办法，但是… |
| [19:23] | it’d be so much easier if you just came here. | 如果你来现场，会容易很多 |
| [19:28] | Hello? | 喂？ |
| [19:35] | – Sorry. Lost service in the elevator. | 抱歉，电梯里没有讯号 |
| [19:38] | Okay. So, yeah, I think that works for the opener, | 对，我觉得那样开场可以 |
| [19:41] | but then I think you got to go right into the Danny stuff. | 然后你直接讲丹尼的事 |
| [19:43] | – Okay. Yeah, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right. | 对，你说得对… |
| [19:44] | Okay, but the poison line, is that too lateral? | 但毒药那句会不会太横向？ |
| [19:46] | – No, no, I don’t think you need it at all. | 不要，我觉得根本不需要 |
| [19:48] | – Okay, last question before she agrees. | 好，她同意前的最后一个问题 |
| [19:50] | Does the hair and makeup department | 梳化人员用的是 |
| [19:51] | use cruelty-free products? | 无动物实验的产品吗？ |
| [19:52] | – I mean, I’ll ask. | 我…我去问问 |
| [19:54] | – I’m just going to get her here. | －我先把她拐来 |
| [19:55] | I’ll figure it out. – Guess what. | 再想办法 －好消息 |
| [19:56] | – What? | －怎么了？ |
| [19:57] | – We do not have to worry anymore. | －不用担心了 |
| [19:59] | We don’t need a guest. Deborah figured it out. | 不需要来宾，黛博拉有办法了 |
| [20:00] | – Well, what’s the idea? | 什么办法？ |
| [20:02] | – She did not tell me. She actually said to get away. | 她没告诉我，甚至叫我滚 |
| [20:03] | So… | 所以… |
| [20:04] | But I think it’s going to be good. | 但一定会很精彩 |
| [20:06] | We don’t need to worry. | 我们不用担心 |
| [20:08] | – Well, this is going to suck. Would you excuse me? | 这下麻烦了，恕我失陪 |
| [20:09] | Hey, Mommy. | 妈咪 |
| [20:11] | Yeah, it turns out they do test on animals, big-time. | 他们用的产品做了大量动物实验 |
| [20:14] | I know. | 就是啊 |
| [20:18] | – She said Kinos only. No LEDs. 2,900 Kelvin. | 只能用冷光灯，不可以用ＬＥＤ 凯氏温度２９００度 |
| [20:20] | – And move “A” camera 30 degrees clockwise | 一号摄影机顺时针旋转３０度 |
| [20:21] | so we get more of her good side. | 拍她上相的那一侧 |
| [20:23] | – And do you have any copper-colored lav mics? | 有红棕色夹式麦克风吗？ |
| [20:24] | If not, I’m going to need a can of spray paint. | 没有的话，请给我喷漆 |
| [20:28] | Hanging there, sweetheart, to the right. | 在那里，甜心 往右 |
| [20:30] | You see it hanging there? The pink. | 看到它挂在那里了吗？ |
| [20:32] | The pink.Perfect, perfect, perfect. | 粉红色的，好极了… |
| [20:34] | – Good evening. How’s everyone doing tonight? | ＂晚安，今晚大家都好吗？＂ |
| [20:37] | Good, good. | 很好… |
| [20:38] | Sorry, I think you got to make that bigger. | 抱歉，你得写大一点 |
| [20:40] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [20:41] | Yeah, her text font is, like, double the size of that. | 她光是手机字体就是那个的两倍 |
| [20:46] | – No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | 不行… |
| [20:47] | These are going to block her good side. | 会挡住她好看的那侧 |
| [20:49] | I need those on the back wall. Small ones over there. | 放在后面墙上，小的放在那里 |
| [20:53] | Okay. | 好耶 |
| [20:55] | – Are you ready to be the best audience | 你们准备要成为我们听过最棒的观众了吗？ |
| [20:57] | late night has ever heard? | 一起渡过快乐时光吧 |
| [21:23] | – Ladies and gentleman, please welcome your host, | 各位观众，请欢迎主持人 |
| [21:26] | Deborah Vance! | 黛博拉凡斯 |
| [21:33] | – Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [21:38] | – Colors look amazing. – Thank you so much. | －抱枕看起来超美 －感谢各位 |
| [21:41] | As you might know, Danny is out with a health issue. | 各位大概已经知道丹尼请病假 |
| [21:43] | And out of respect for his privacy, | 为了尊重他的隐私 |
| [21:45] | I can’t say much more than that. | 我只能说这么多 |
| [21:47] | But should you experience an erection lasting longer | 但如果您也勃起超过六个小时 |
| [21:49] | than six hours, this is a medical emergency, | 就是医疗紧急状况 |
| [21:51] | and you should consult a doctor. | 一定要找医生 |
| [21:57] | I recently found out there’s a group of people on Etsy | 我最近发现爱西网上有一群人 |
| [22:00] | who are selling knockoff Deborah Vance merchandise | 在贩售黛博拉凡斯的山寨商品 |
| [22:04] | with things I supposedly said | 上面印了感觉像是我说过的话 |
| [22:06] | printed on them, which leads us to a segment I like to call, | 所以接下来这个单元叫做 |
| [22:10] | Did I Say It? | ＂是我说的吗？＂ |
| [22:13] | A poster that says, “I may love jewelry, | 这个杯垫印著＂我喜欢珠宝 |
| [22:15] | but a ring has no place on my coffee table.” | 但是茶几上不该有环＂ |
| [22:18] | Do you think I said it? crowd: Yes! | 你们觉得是我说的吗？ |
| [22:20] | – Yes, I did, right before | 对，是我说的 |
| [22:23] | a friendship-ending argument with Nancy Reagan. | 说完就跟南希雷根闹翻决裂了 |
| [22:30] | So good. | 好极了 |
| [22:31] | – We are down a guest, but I’m going to fix that. | 今天少了一位来宾 但是我有办法 |
| [22:35] | – You sir, you.Fourth row. | 第四排的那位先生 |
| [22:37] | Yes, you, you. Yeah. Come here. | 对，就是你 |
| [22:43] | So what do you do for work? | 你是做什么工作的？ |
| [22:45] | – I’m actually a TSA agent. | 我在运输安全局上班 |
| [22:47] | – Okay, that’s all the time we have, ladies and gentlemen. | 各位观众，今天节目到此结束 |
| [22:49] | No, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. | 没有，开玩笑的啦… |
| [22:52] | You must find some weird stuff in people’s suitcases. | 你一定在旅客行李箱中 找到过很怪的东西吧 |
| [22:54] | – It’s kind of X rated. | 这个有点限制级 |
| [22:56] | – Oh, now you have to tell us. | 这下你非说不可了 |
| [22:58] | Come on. | 快点 |
| [22:59] | – A few years ago, | 几年前 |
| [23:01] | this guy went through the metal detector. | 有一位旅客通过金属侦测器 |
| [23:02] | I guess he was wearing a– | 他好像戴著… |
| [23:04] | can I say “cuck cage” on TV? | 在电视上可以说＂鸟笼＂吗？ |
| [23:08] | – Well, Lance, I think you just did. | 兰斯，你已经说了 |
| [23:11] | What on Earth is that? | 那是什么鬼东西？ |
| [23:12] | – It’s like a metal cage that goes on a man’s– | 那是一个金属笼 套在男人的… |
| [23:17] | – TSA wand. – Yes. | －那话儿上？ －对 |
| [23:19] | – And you can only take it off with a key. | －只有钥匙才打得开 －我的天啊 |
| [23:23] | But his wife had the key. | 但是钥匙在他太太那里 |
| [23:24] | – And where was she? – In Miami. | －他太太在哪里？ －迈阿密 |
| [23:30] | – Hey. Don’t you need to get back to your actual job? | 你不用回去上班吗？ |
| [23:33] | – Oh, my God. Fuck. Shit. | 天啊，该死，可恶 |
| [23:35] | I’m supposed to get them coffee. | 我只是出来买咖啡 |
| [23:38] | – So, according to these cards, | 字卡上说你为了拍片 |
| [23:40] | you broke your hand training for the film? | 受训时手骨折断了？ |
| [23:42] | – Yeah. | 对 |
| [23:44] | Actually, it’s an interesting story. | 这个故事其实很有意思 |
| [23:45] | – Okay, I’m going to stop you right there. | 我先打个岔 |
| [23:47] | Are you just bored to tears from having | 你会不会觉得很无聊 |
| [23:48] | to tell this story over and over and over again | 因为要一直跟媒体说这个故事 |
| [23:50] | to the press and make it sound natural? | －而且假装很自然？ |
| [23:51] | – You’re going to get me in trouble. | －我会被你害惨 |
| [23:53] | – I told that so many times, I said it in my sleep | 我说过好多次 某次睡觉时说梦话 |
| [23:56] | and woke my girlfriend up. | 还吵醒女朋友 |
| [23:57] | – Well, she gets to sleep with you, | 她可以跟你一起睡 |
| [23:59] | so she doesn’t get to complain. | 没资格抱怨吧 |
| [24:01] | Oh, come on, it’s not a Me Too if I do it! | 少来，我说就不算性骚扰 |
| [24:04] | No, but, seriously, look at those arms. | 但说真的，看看你的手臂 你卧推多重？ |
| [24:07] | How much can you bench? – Uh, bench–300, 310 pounds. | 卧推吗，３００或３１０磅 |
| [24:10] | – What? No. Prove it. | 不可能吧，证明一下 |
| [24:12] | Bench-press me. | 举我看看 |
| [24:17] | – Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [24:18] | – Brad! Give it up for Brad! | 布莱德，为布莱德热烈鼓掌 |
| [24:21] | Whoo! | 喔 |
| [24:23] | Thank you, thank you. | 谢谢… |
| [24:28] | Thank you so much, every one of you, | 谢谢各位让今天 |
| [24:30] | for making it so special. | 变得这么特别 |
| [24:31] | Danny, thank you for loaning me the chair for the night. | 丹尼，谢谢你把位子借我坐一个晚上 |
| [24:33] | He will be back tomorrow. | 他明天就会回来 |
| [24:35] | All of you, thank you, and good night. | 谢谢各位，祝你们晚安 |
| [24:39] | – You were great. | －超精彩 |
| [24:48] | – Phenomenal. | －那个男的好帅 |
| [24:49] | – That guy was, like, really cute. | －有够精彩 －我该打给他吗？ |
| [24:51] | – That was really good. – Should I call him? | －谢谢各位出席 －她超厉害 |
| [24:53] | – She was great. Unbelievably great. | －不可思议 －Ａ排到Ｋ排的人可以离场了 |
| [24:54] | So good. | 棒极了 |
| [24:58] | – Thanks. Thank you. | 谢了，谢谢 |
| [25:01] | – Oh, my God, Deborah. | 天啊，黛博拉，简直… |
| [25:03] | That was–I mean, what an incredible show. | 今天节目太精彩了 |
| [25:06] | – Thanks. Thanks. – You were just unbelievable. | －谢了… －你表现得太好了 |
| [25:08] | Thank you. – Ah. Whew. | 谢谢 |
| [25:11] | Is it okay if I just hang here for a minute? | 可以再坐一会儿吗？ |
| [25:14] | – Oh, yeah, yeah, take your time. | 可以，不急，后台见 |
| [25:15] | I’ll see you backstage. – Absolutely. | 没问题 |
| [25:59] | – You were right about that last monologue joke. | 开场最后一个笑话你说得没错 |
| [26:01] | It killed. – Told you so. | －观众爱死了 －我就说吧 |
| [26:03] | – And you did a shockingly good job not kink-shaming cuck cages. | 而且你很克制，没有取笑鸟笼 |
| [26:07] | – Oh, I got another call.Yeah. I’m going to take this. | 有插播 －我得接， |
| [26:08] | Can you– – Yeah, sure. | 你可以…？ －没问题 |
| [26:11] | – Hello. – Deborah, it’s Danny Collins. | －喂？ －黛博拉，我是丹尼柯林斯 |
| [26:14] | – Hey. How are you feeling? | 身体怎么样了？ |
| [26:16] | – Oh, not bad. | 还可以 |
| [26:17] | In between having my last rites read to me,I saw the show. | 在神父帮我做临终礼的空档 我看了节目 |
| [26:20] | You did a hell of a job.- Thank you. | 你主持得真好 －谢谢 |
| [26:21] | – Seriously, you were having so much fun up there. | －真的，你主持时乐在其中 |
| [26:24] | – Yeah, well, it’s a fun gig.- Eh, at first. | 这份工作很好玩 一开始是吧 |
| [26:26] | At this point, I’m basically on cruise control. | 现在我闭著眼睛都能做 |
| [26:29] | Between you and me and my wife’s divorce lawyer, | 这件事你知我知 还有我老婆的离婚律师知道 |
| [26:33] | I’m leaving when my contract is up in a few months.- Oh? | 过几个月合约到期，我就会离开 |
| [26:35] | – It’ll be some other guy’s show soon. | 节目很快就要易主了 |
| [26:37] | Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up. | 我只是想谢谢你临危受命 |
| [26:39] | – Oh, my pleasure. Anytime. | 乐意之至，随时愿意效劳 |
| [26:42] | Thanks for calling, Danny. | 谢谢你打电话来，丹尼 |
| [26:43] | – Love you, Deborah. – Okay. | 爱你，黛博拉 |
| [26:45] | Bye. | 好了，再见 |
| [26:47] | Ava. | 艾娃 |
| [26:49] | – Yeah, that was definitely an I’ll-call-you-back situation. | －你大可下次再打来 |
| [26:51] | – I know, I know, I’m sorry. | －我知道…对不起，听著 |
| [26:53] | Listen, you said you have a hiatus coming up from your show, right? | 你说你的节目要休息一阵子吧？ |
| [26:56] | How long is it? – Uh, three months. | －休息多久？ －三个月 |
| [26:58] | – Do you have any plans? | 你有什么计划吗？ |
| [27:04] | – Hey. – Hey. | 嘿 -嘿 |
| [27:07] | – I was thinking, do you think it just makes more sense | 我在想，不如改成 |
| [27:09] | if I visit for, like, a weekend, | 我找个周末去找你就好了 |
| [27:11] | since you’ll be working so much? | 反正你到时也会很忙 |
| [27:13] | – What? – Yeah. | 什么？ 对 |
| [27:15] | Um, this, uh– this work thing came up. | 工作上突然有状况 |
| [27:18] | – Shit. I mean, that’s totally fine if it’s for work. | 要命，如果是为了工作 那当然没问题 |
| [27:21] | Is it for the show? | 是为了节目吗？ |
| [27:22] | – You know what? It’s actually, um… | 其实是… |
| [27:27] | for Deborah. | 黛博拉的事 |
| [27:29] | – Are you serious? – I know. I know. | －真的假的？ －我知道… |
| [27:31] | But listen, they’re replacing the late show host, | 是这样的，深夜秀要换主持人了 |
| [27:34] | and I think she has a real shot at it. | 我觉得她很有胜算 |
| [27:37] | She asked me to help her just on my hiatus. | 她请我休息时去帮忙 |
| [27:39] | But you’ll be working so much, right? | 反正你工作也很忙吧？ |
| [27:42] | So this could be good. – Good for who? | 这样也比较好 －对谁好？ |
| [27:45] | – It’s just for a couple months. | －就几个月而已 |
| [27:46] | – I don’t care how long it’s for. | 我不管多久 |
| [27:48] | I mean, she fired you and then cut you off. | 她之前开除你，跟你一刀两断 |
| [27:50] | That’s fucked up. | 太过分了 |
| [27:51] | You couldn’t stop talking about it for months, | 你叨念了好几个月 |
| [27:53] | about how unhealthy it was. | 说这样很不健康 |
| [27:55] | And now we’re finally in a good place. | 现在我们终于渐入佳境 |
| [27:57] | It makes me feel like you’re more serious about her | 我觉得你把她看得 |
| [27:59] | than you are about your job, our life here, me. | 比自己的工作、我们的生活和我重要 |
| [28:01] | – What? What are you talking about? | 什么，你在说什么？ |
| [28:04] | I’m so serious about you. | 我很重视你 |
| [28:05] | I mean, we’re getting married. | 我们都要结婚了 |
| [28:09] | – What? – What? | －什么？ －还装啊 |
| [28:10] | I found the ring, okay? | 我找到戒指了 |
| [28:12] | – Ava, what are you talking about? | 艾娃 你在说什么？ |
| [28:16] | Ava. | 艾娃？ |
| [28:18] | – Here. | 这里 |
| [28:20] | Ask me. I’ll say yes. | 求婚吧，我会答应的 |
| [28:22] | – Oh, my God. – Or I can ask you. | －天啊 －要我求婚也行 |
| [28:24] | We’re gay. There are no rules. | 我们是同志，没有规矩 |
| [28:27] | – Oh, my God. – Ruby Rojas… | －我的天哪 －露比罗杰 |
| [28:29] | from the first time I saw you at Little Dom’s– | －我看到你的第一眼… |
| [28:31] | – Oh, my God, Ava, stop. Stop. Okay, stop. | －天哪，别说了… |
| [28:34] | This ring is from the show. | 戒指是影集的道具 |
| [28:37] | This is how Wolf Girl gets her powers. | 是狼女的力量来源 |
| [28:40] | I have it here to help me get into character. | 我拿回家帮助自己入戏 |
| [28:42] | And I have to wear it to practice while I’m wielding the flail. | 戴著练习挥舞链锤 |
| [28:51] | I’m gonna stand up. | －那我站起来了 |
| [28:53] | – I knew you didn’t read the graphic novel. | －你果然没有看漫画 |
| [28:55] | – I don’t know how to follow the fucking boxes. | 我看不懂格子的顺序 |
| [28:57] | – Wait. You want to get married? | 等等，你想结婚？ |
| [28:59] | – I thought so. – You thought so? | －我以为我想 －你以为？ |
| [29:01] | – I misunderstood. – Uh-huh. | 我误会了 |
| [29:03] | – Listen, this has gotten completely out of hand. | 听著，情况已经失控了 |
| [29:04] | – Yeah. – And I’m sorry about the trip. | －还用说 |
| [29:06] | I’m sorry I just proposed.But it’s different this time. | 旅行的事很抱歉，抱歉刚刚求婚 但这次不同 |
| [29:09] | I’m just going to be working with her temporarily. | 我只是暂时去跟她工作 |
| [29:12] | – You’re not going to be working with her. | 你不是跟她工作 |
| [29:15] | You’re going to be working for her. | 而是为她工作 |
| [29:16] | You’ll always be working for her. | 你永远都只会为她工作 |
| [29:18] | – You’re making this such a bigger deal than it needs to be. | 你在小题大做 |
| [29:21] | – You’re canceling our plans to go work with someone | 你取消计划 去帮某个有施虐倾向的人做事 |
| [29:23] | who was borderline abusive because she might get a job. | 就因为她＂可能＂得到某份工作？ |
| [29:25] | Look, I know that you respect this person. | 我知道你很尊敬这个人 |
| [29:29] | And I know you’re proud of the work you did together, | 你也为你们一起做的事为荣 |
| [29:31] | but it was also really hard,and not just when she fired you– | 但是我也知道你很苦 不只是她开除你的时候 |
| [29:33] | the whole time. | 而是一直都很苦 |
| [29:35] | She slapped you. She sued you. | 她打你，告你， |
| [29:37] | You said she was toxic. | 你说她很恶毒 |
| [29:40] | – I said that stuff when I was mad at her. | 我说那些都是气话 |
| [29:42] | I’m so sorry. You just don’t get it. | 对不起，但你不懂 |
| [29:47] | Yeah.I guess I don’t get it. | 对，我是不懂 |
| [29:51] | Fuck. | 可恶 |
| [29:57] | I think we need to take some space. | －我们需要一点空间 |
| [29:59] | – What? No.Come on. | －什么？不要，别这样 |
| [30:02] | – Yeah.I’ll, um, I’ll go to Iceland alone. | 对，我自己一个人去冰岛 |
| [30:06] | And, um… | 呃… |
| [30:09] | you do your thing. | 你去忙你的事 |
| [30:11] | And we’ll see where we’re at when we’re back… | 我们回来后再看情况吧 |
| [30:15] | if you’re back. | 如果你回得来 |
| [30:17] | – Ruby. – No. | －露比 －别说了 |
| [30:19] | – Are you serious? | 你是认真的吗？ |
| [31:17] | – Welcome back. | 欢迎回来 |
| [31:23] | – Shoes off. | 脱鞋 |