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绝望写手(Hacks)第3季第4集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 绝望写手(Hacks)第3季第4集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
时间 英文 中文
[00:10] Hey! Stop! -站住
[00:12] It’s an emergency! -这是紧急状况
[00:13] What are you doing? 你在做什么?
[00:15] It’s not safe! 这样很危险
[00:25] Under the seat. 忘在座位下了
[00:27] Thank you. 谢谢
[00:29] Not the time to invite any crow’s feet. 要是长鱼尾纹就不好了
[00:32] Yeah. 对
[00:41] God, look at this. 你看这个
[00:43] Jack Danby’s reps have him 杰克丹比的经纪人让他
[00:45] schmoozing with the head of comedy and the CEO of the whole conglomerate. 跟集团喜剧部主管和执行长混得很熟
[00:49] You know what? Don’t worry, 别担心
[00:50] ’cause Kayla and I are all over it, OK? 凯菈跟我正在处理
[00:52] We’re working really hard to connect with Winnie Landell. 我们正在努力联络温妮兰德尔
[00:54] Oh, yeah, she looks like she’s all over it. 是啊,她看起来超努力
[00:57] Winnie’s schedule is packed, and every comedy rep is trying to sit down with her, 温妮的行程很满 所有喜剧业务都想跟她谈
[01:00] so it’s been a little tricky. 所以有点难搞
[01:02] Tricky for you. 那是你觉得难搞
[01:04] You need to get a meeting with Winnie ASAP. 你得尽快安排跟温妮开会
[01:06] I promise you we will, OK? 我保证会的
[01:07] And when we do, I already have a great angle, OK?I’ve practiced this. 已经想好了很棒的切入点,练了很久
[01:10] They probably want someone diverse, right?Well, guess what. 他们可能会想找多元背景的人 你猜怎么著
[01:12] Old is diverse, huh? 年长也是多元的一种
[01:16] Yeah. We’ll shatter the glass hip. 对啊,我们会打破玻璃髋关节
[01:19] No, I didn’t mean that. 不是,我不是那个意思
[01:22] Oh, man. 真是的
[01:23] Is there any way I can get out of this thing? 我真的不能脱身吗?
[01:25] Cohosting the Macy’s Day Parade is–it’s so daytime. 担任感恩节大游行的共同主持人…
[01:28] It’s not gonna help with these guys. 白昼感太重,不会打动这些人的
[01:30] Well, we’re 45 minutes from landing to tape the promo, 我们再过45分钟 就要降落拍摄宣传片了
[01:33] so I think it’s a little late to pull out. 现在退出有点太晚了
[01:35] Is there any other meaningful press I can do while I’m in New York? 我在纽约能不能 做什么有意义的媒体宣传?
[01:38] You know, I could probably get you on “Talk Stoop.” 我也许能安排你上"倾谈"
[01:40] “Talk Soup”? No, “Talk Stoop” with Cat Greenleaf. -清汤? -是"倾谈" 凯特格林利的节目
[01:42] It’s on Taxi TV.You sit on a stoop and…talk. 在计程车电视播出 坐在楼梯上聊天
[01:44] – Oh, my God. – You know what? 我的天哪
[01:48] You also have a standing offer at “The Chew.” 这样吧,"闲聊"说你随时可以去上
[01:50] – “The Jew”? – “The Chew,” like teeth.Oh, yeah. -煎饺? -"闲聊",谈话性节目
[01:53] No, I know.You need to come up with better ideas. 原来,你得想些更好的主意
[01:55] And speak from your diaphragm. 讲话也别这么没中气
[01:57] Will do. 没问题
[01:59] People, this is what we’re up against, 各位,这就是我们的对手
[02:02] a Harvard boy with connections. 人脉亨通的哈佛小子
[02:04] Sitting on a stoop can’t compete 坐在楼梯上闲聊
[02:06] with a guy who just hosted the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. 哪里比得上白宫记协晚宴主持人?
[02:09] OK, why don’t you just put out a press release 不如发布新闻稿
[02:11] saying that you want late night 说你想主持深夜秀
[02:12] so that way, you’re in the conversation? 这样就会受到注目了
[02:14] Oh, God, no. 天哪,不可以
[02:16] A woman can’t just come out and say what she wants. 女人不能直白说出心里想要的东西
[02:19] No, that looks– 不行,那看起来…
[02:21] – Thirsty. – Mm-hmm. 很饥渴…
[02:23] No, it’s got to seem like it’s their idea. 必须看起来是对方主动
[02:24] OK, fine. Do what you want. 好吧,随你便
[02:26] I’ll just be quiet and keep eating these cookies. 我就静静坐在这里吃饼干
[02:30] Those are dog biscuits. 那是狗饼干
[02:32] I’m aware. They’re delicious…and grain-free. 我知道,但很好吃,而且不含谷物
[02:35] The chef told me.I was like, are you fucking serious? 厨师告诉我的,我本来还不信
[02:46] So Deborah and I agreed that while I’m with her, 黛博拉跟我说好了
[02:49] I should also spend time working on my own stuff. 我跟在她身边时 也要花时间做我自己的东西
[02:52] You absolutely should; I would love to get 这是应该的
[02:53] – a feature out of you. – You and me both. -我很想让你写一部电影 -我也想
[02:55] So I was wondering if you knew of any, like,open writing assignments that you think would be good for me. 我在想你知不知道 什么适合我的编剧职缺?
[03:00] Yes, I have coverage from Kayla, actually…Whoo! 有,凯菈帮我找了
[03:02] That I think might be interesting.- OK, great. -我觉得应该很有意思 -好极了
[03:04] – Literally every studio wants a procedural based on “Operation.” 每家片厂都想要一部 根据"外科手术"的单元剧
[03:09] Remember that game? 记得那个游戏吗?
[03:11] OK, what else you got? 好,还有什么?
[03:13] OK, so they’ve done some market research, 好,有市调显示
[03:14] and they’ve found that Gen Z thinks the animated spoon from “Beauty and the Beast” is hot Z世代觉得"美女与野兽"里的 动画汤匙很性感
[03:19] and apparently can “get it.” 而且显然很吃得开
[03:21] So they want something that focuses on his love life, 所以想聚焦于它的感情生活
[03:24] like a spin-off focusing on the animated spoon’s love life. 以动画汤匙感情生活为主题的衍生剧
[03:27] Love life.- Um, all right. – OK. 感情生活喔…好喔
[03:31] – Give me another one. – No spoon. OK. -再来一个 -不要汤匙?
[03:35] Oh. I got it. I found it. 好吧 我找到了
[03:37] This one is good for you. 这个很适合你
[03:39] They’re doing a bisexual Gumby. 有片厂要做双性恋冈比的节目
[03:41] He bends both ways. 左右都可以弯
[03:43] You’re bisexual. -你是双性恋
[03:44] Yeah, so that might be perfect for you. -对,所以可能很适合你
[03:46] The working title: “Gum-Bi.” 片名暂定为"冈bi"
[03:47] OK, you know what?I think I’m just gonna try to write an idea of my own. 这样吧,我还是自己想好了
[03:51] Original is really harder to sell. 原创内容比较难卖
[03:53] Honestly, nobody wants it. 讲白一点,没人有兴趣
[03:55] But Roku is open, and they have two buckets 但Roku开始营运了
[03:57] they’re looking to fill right now, 现在有两种东西要做
[03:59] noisy concepts and Black joy. "嘈杂概念"和"黑色喜悦"
[04:01] I think you should focus on noisy concepts, though, 劝你聚焦在"嘈杂概念"
[04:03] since you are not Black– no offense. 因为你不是黑人,无意冒犯
[04:05] You’re not. 的确不是
[04:07] Oh, OK.I missed one. 等等,我漏看了一个
[04:10] They want to do something with “Sleeping Beauty,” 他们想写睡美人的故事
[04:12] but apparently, this time, it’s consensual. 但这次是你情我愿
[04:14] And if someone could ask Hoda where she got her scarf, 找人去问问荷达的丝巾哪里买的
[04:16] I would just love it. 我超爱
[04:17] Sure. 没问题
[04:19] Deborah Vance. 黛博拉凡斯
[04:20] Oh, my gosh, Henry Weeks! 天啊,亨利威克斯
[04:23] How have you been? I haven’t seen you since– 你好吗,我们上次见面是…
[04:26] – Jerry Lewis Telethon. – That’s it. -杰瑞路易的募款节目 -没错
[04:28] This is so wild. 太巧了
[04:29] Two weeks ago, I recorded an NPR segment 两周前我去录公共广播电台的节目
[04:32] where I had to pick something from pop culture that I loved, and I talked about your special. 我要选我在流行文化中的最爱
[04:36] – You did? – Are you kidding? -我选了你的特辑 -真的吗?
[04:39] It was the best special of the last ten years, 还用说,那可是过去十年最棒的特辑
[04:42] which kills me because I released one three years ago. 我难过死了 因为我三年前才推出一部
[04:46] Wow, that–wow, thank you. 那实在…谢谢
[04:49] That means a lot coming from you. 听你这么说实在意义重大
[04:51] I’m serious.You took a lifetime of issues, 我是认真的 你把一生累积的心理创伤
[04:54] and you turned it into a work of genius. 变成一件天才之作
[04:57] Actually, are you still in Vegas? 说到这个,你还在拉斯维加斯吗?
[04:59] – Yeah. – Oh, this is fabulous. -对 -太好了
[05:01] ‘Cause every few years, Terry, Cliff Calhoun, and I– 因为每隔几年 泰瑞,克利夫卡洪和我…
[05:04] Oh, let me guess– 我猜猜,去赌博
[05:05] gamble, golf, drugs, women? 打高尔夫球,嗑药还是嫖妓?
[05:07] No, even better. 不是,比那些更好
[05:08] We get colonoscopies together. 我们一起去照大肠镜
[05:12] I knew something was going in a hole. 我就知道一定会牵涉到插洞
[05:14] We rent a house in Vegas. 我们租一栋房子
[05:15] We play cards, clear out our GI tract. 一边打牌,一边清空肠胃
[05:18] Next day, we get the colonoscopies. 隔天去做大肠镜检查
[05:20] And then we celebrate with a Vegas night out. 然后庆祝 在赌城狂欢一晚
[05:23] And whoever has the cleanest bill of health buys dinner. 身体最健康的人晚餐买单
[05:27] Well, that sounds like a blast.It is. 听起来超好玩的
[05:29] And we’re doing it this weekend. 确实好玩,我们约了这个周末
[05:31] So if you’re due, you should come. 如果你也该检查了 欢迎加入
[05:34] I’d love to. 乐意之至
[05:36] I’ve been so busy, I’m overdue.Oh, well, that’s great. 我最近忙昏了,早该检查了
[05:38] That’s great.I will text you all the details. 太好了,我把细节传给你
[05:41] OK. Can I bring something? 好,需要带什么吗?
[05:43] Air freshener. 空气芳香剂
[05:45] I guess men can be funny. 看来男人还是可以幽默的
[05:47] OK, see you soon. 回头见
[05:51] Just do it harder, or don’t do it at all, Jimmy. 不够用力干脆别按,吉米
[06:00] Hi. I got a delivery for Ruby. 有露比的快递
[06:01] It says hand off in person. 上面写"本人亲收"
[06:03] Oh, well, I’m– sorry, I’m not there. 抱歉,我不在
[06:05] It’s my girlfriend’s house. 那是我女友的房子
[06:07] I mean, it’s my house too. 也是我的房子啦
[06:08] We’re sort of taking space right now 但我们要给彼此空间
[06:11] to evaluate things. 评估两人的关系
[06:12] Hey, is that order for one person or two? 订单是一个人的还是两个人的?
[06:15] I’m just gonna leave it at the door. 我放门口吧
[06:17] No, no, just tell me if there’s beef. 看看有没有牛肉
[06:18] She doesn’t eat beef. 她不吃牛
[06:19] Beef is a smoking gun!Sir! 牛肉是确凿的罪证,先生
[06:23] Hey, are you OK? 你还好吗?
[06:25] Yeah. Why? 很好啊,怎么了?
[06:26] You just yelled, “Beef is a smoking gun.” 你大吼"牛肉是确凿的罪证"
[06:27] Oh, that. 那个啊,
[06:29] I think I’m extra sensitive because Ruby’s 我特别敏感 因为露比
[06:30] having this going-away party on Friday. 周五要开饯别派对
[06:32] Do you think I should drive four hours to LA 我该开车4小时去洛杉矶道别吗?
[06:34] to say goodbye even though she didn’t invite me? 尽管她没有邀我?
[06:35] – I should, right? – No. 我该去吧? 不应该
[06:37] Whew. Your mind. -你真理智
[06:39] But if you’re looking for a distraction, -如果你想分心
[06:41] you could come to bar trivia Friday night. -周五来玩酒吧竞猜吧
[06:42] You do bar trivia? -你玩酒吧竞猜?
[06:43] OK, extracurriculars, very healthy. 还有课外活动啊,真健康
[06:46] Well, it is a team that my mom and ex-boyfriend started without me. 队伍是我妈和前男友自己成立的
[06:49] They only asked me to join when they realized 找我只是因为需要
[06:50] they needed someone who knew state capitals. 一个知道各州首府的人
[06:52] Sorry. 真为你难过
[06:53] Hello, my gorgeous team. 我俊俏的团队,你们好啊
[06:56] What’s going on?They slash the capital gains tax? 怎么回事? 资本增值税减免了吗?
[07:00] No. I’m getting a colonoscopy. 不是,我要去照大肠镜
[07:03] – Ah. – Hmm.But you just– you just had one. 你最近刚照过
[07:06] I know, but this is a group thing. 我知道,但这次是大家一起
[07:09] – Well, OK. – Exciting. -真刺激,真有你的
[07:10] – Oh, all right. – Whoa! -好兴奋喔
[07:11] – OK! – Shake it!Shake that thing! 摇啊…
[07:17] Honestly, this was a great idea. 真是好主意,
[07:19] I cannot wait to hit. 我已经等不及下场了
[07:20] I’ve been so stressed out with all this Deborah stuff. 黛博拉的事让我压力好大
[07:22] Yeah, I had no idea they had courts here. 我不知道这里有球场
[07:24] Yeah, they don’t have tennis courts. 有啊,但不是网球场
[07:25] They have pickleball courts. 是匹克球场
[07:27] Wait, pickleball? 等一下,匹克球?
[07:28] Yeah, it’s like tiny tennis. 对,像袖珍网球
[07:30] I know what pickleball is, but I thought we were 我知道匹克球是什么
[07:32] playing tennis; that’s why I agreed. 但我以为要打网球,所以才答应
[07:34] – OK, don’t be mad at me. – Oh, God. -不要生我的气 -惨了
[07:36] But this is our general with Winnie Landell. 但这是和温妮兰德尔的会议
[07:38] What? Kayla, what the hell? 什么? 凯菈,你搞什么
[07:40] I thought you were scheduling that for next week. 我以为你安排在下周
[07:41] I’m sorry, man. 对不起
[07:43] I can’t be perfect, OK? I tried to get us the meeting. 我不是完人,好吗? 我努力想安排
[07:45] Her next opening’s not for, like, eight months. 她下个空档在8个月后
[07:47] But her second assistant Avi, who I made out with seven years ago– really bad kisser– 但她的第二助理阿维 7年前跟我亲热过
[07:50] said she’s obsessed with pickleball 吻功超烂,但他说她爱匹克球成痴
[07:53] and she has a standing reservation on this court. 而且固定来这个球场打球,所以啰
[07:55] So you’re welcome. -不客气
[07:57] Kayla, what do you expect me to do here? -凯菈,你要我怎么做?
[07:58] You want me to just walk up to her randomly,wearing mesh shorts, and pitch Deborah to host late night? 穿著网布短裤搭话 说黛博拉想主持深夜秀吗?
[08:02] No, I want you to get into a game with her, 当然不是,我要你跟她打球
[08:04] you know, impress her with your skills. 用球技让她惊艳
[08:06] Maybe you earn her respect, 也许就能得到她的敬重
[08:08] and then you seal the fucking deal, baby! 然后敲定一笔大交易,宝贝
[08:10] OK, shh, we’re at an expensive country club. 小声点,这是有钱人来的乡村俱乐部
[08:12] It’s not illegal to yell. 大叫又不犯法
[08:13] I don’t know how to play pickleball. 我不会打匹克球
[08:15] And this plan is insanity, girl. 这个计划简直是疯了
[08:17] You’re an amazing tennis guy. 你是网球高手
[08:19] You could probably pick up any sport. 任何运动都能很快上手
[08:20] – You could probably bowl. – What– -搞不好连保龄球都会打 -什么…
[08:21] Come on.I got us these cute little paddles. 好嘛,我弄了两支可爱小球拍
[08:24] It’s kind of kinky. 感觉有点变态
[08:25] Come on, stretch me out. 来帮我伸展
[08:27] My God. 我的天啊
[08:34] Let’s see. 我看看
[08:36] That, that… 这件…
[08:40] Hi.While you’re gone, I will be turning the heat up to 68 你出门的时候 我会把暖气调到68度
[08:43] ’cause I’ve started shivering so hard, 因为我发抖得太厉害
[08:45] my arm hair is getting thicker. 连手毛都变粗了
[08:47] I need the thermostat passcode. -把恒温器的密码给我 -不行…
[08:48] No, no, a room should be the same temperature as a white wine fridge. 房间温度应该跟白酒柜一样
[08:52] Keeps your metabolism on its toes. 新陈代谢才不会松懈
[08:54] So what do you think, this or this? 你觉得哪套比较好?
[08:56] I mean, which is better for a colonoscopy prep party? 哪套比较适合大肠镜清肠派对?
[08:59] I don’t know. Is it too sparkly?I just– 是不是太闪亮了?
[09:02] I don’t know, maybe– I’ll just–should go with what I have on. 算了,就穿身上这套吧
[09:05] I’m so shocked that you care this much. 你这么在乎让我好震惊
[09:08] Oh, you don’t understand. 你不懂
[09:09] I’ve always idolized them. 我一直好崇拜他们
[09:11] When I was first starting in stand-up, they were the guys. 我刚出道时,他们可是风云人物
[09:15] OK, but weren’t you, like, the girl? 但你那时候不也很红吗?
[09:17] Oh, no, no. 不是…
[09:19] I mean, I could fill seats, you know, 买票看我表演的人很多
[09:22] but they thought it was because of my sitcom, you know, 但他们觉得只是因为我的情境喜剧
[09:24] or the fire. 或是我纵火的事
[09:27] I was never seen as legit by guys like them. 他们从来不把我当一回事
[09:32] And now they want you to clean out your colon with them. 现在他们邀你一起清肠
[09:34] Dreams really do come true. 美梦还是会成真的
[09:36] I know! 就是啊
[09:38] Isn’t it fantastic? 是不是很棒?
[09:41] Can I just get a blanket? 可以至少给我毯子吗?
[09:50] Yeah. Yeah, well, she can go– 对…她可以…
[09:53] they can go to hell for all I care. 他们可以下地狱,我才懒得管
[09:55] OK, bye-bye. 好,再见
[09:57] Hey, hey, hey. This is our court. 这个球场是我们的
[09:58] Oh, Johnny? -强尼?
[10:00] Jimmy LuSaque, Jr. We met at JFL. -小吉米拉萨克 我们嘻笑节见过
[10:02] You told me you had sex with my dad. 你说你跟我爸上过床
[10:04] Oh, right. This is our court. 对,这是我们的球场
[10:05] Oh, I must have accidentally booked this 我大概是不小心把周四的球场
[10:07] for Tuesday instead of Thursday. 订成周二了
[10:09] This always happens–you put a T down in the calendar, 难免啦,在日历上写了T
[10:11] and you’re like, was that for Tuesday or Thursday? 会忘记是周二还是周四
[10:14] – Does that ever happen to you? – No. -你也会这样吗? -不会
[10:16] Honestly, I have the same problem with trying to r– -其实我也常常不记得
[10:17] Damn it, this sucks, ’cause, you know, -可恶,真扫兴,因为
[10:19] Jimmy here was gonna help me with my technique. 吉米本来要帮我精进球技的
[10:22] He’s really amazing. He’s really, really good. 他很厉害,是高手
[10:24] Really? You don’t really have a pickleball body. 是吗,你的体型不像是打匹克球的
[10:27] He’s got a pickleball body. It’s in his bones. 怎么不像,他是天生好手
[10:30] He’s a tennis star. 他是网球明星
[10:31] You know, my dad hired him to give me lessons one summer, 我爸某年夏天聘他来教我打球
[10:33] and it’s probably one of the best memories of my childhood. 那可能是我童年最美好的回忆
[10:36] – It was? – Mm-hmm. 是吗?
[10:38] You’re that good? 你这么厉害?
[10:39] Yeah, he played tennis at Brown. -对,他在布朗打网球
[10:41] I did. -没错
[10:42] Well, maybe we should play doubles. 不如我们双打吧
[10:43] I love a little competition, 我喜欢竞争
[10:45] but I hate people who waste my time. 但是讨厌浪费我时间的人
[10:47] Peter Thiel? Like playing with Helen Keller without the star power. 彼得提尔,跟他打球
[10:51] Wow, well, I’m certainly better than that. 像是跟素人版的海伦凯勒打球
[10:53] She was blind, deaf, and mute. 她又瞎又聋又哑,我肯定更强吧
[10:54] Jimmy. -吉米
[10:56] By the way, I’m Beth. I work with Winnie. -我是贝丝,跟温妮一起工作
[10:57] We play for money. What do you say? 我们赌钱,如何?
[10:59] Grand a game? 一场一千
[11:00] – Holy hell, OK. – Wow. 妈呀,好喔
[11:02] – Sure, yeah, absolutely. – Great. – 当然可以 – 好极了
[11:03] It’s just money, and we got it. -行,钱嘛,我们有
[11:04] Sure thing. I like it. -好极了 好啊,我喜欢
[11:06] That sounds good to me. 真是好主意
[11:07] Google the rules. Google the rules. 快上网查规则…
[11:18] – Hey. – This is Ava. 这是艾娃
[11:19] – Hey, nice to meet you guys. – Hey. 幸会
[11:21] – Hi. – Hey! 你好 -嘿
[11:22] Thank God you got us a white. 幸好你找了个白人
[11:24] What? Oh, yeah. I’m a white person, yeah. 什么? 对,我是白人
[11:27] We got a strong team, but we have some blind spots. 我们实力坚强,但是有盲点
[11:30] – Last week, we lost on a question about natural wine. 上周自然葡萄酒的问题 我们答错了
[11:33] Oh, I love natural wine. 我好爱喝自然葡萄酒
[11:35] Oh, I love natural wine. "我好爱喝自然葡萄酒"
[11:37] We gon’ mop the floor with these motherfuckers. 那些龟孙子要输惨了
[11:51] – Ho-ho! – Henry!Well, if it isn’t our very own “It Girl.” -亨利 -风云女郎来了
[11:55] Oh, I like that. 我好喜欢
[11:57] Ah, Terry, Cliff, hi! 泰瑞,克利夫
[11:59] Aw, good to see you, Deb. -很高兴看到你,小黛
[12:01] – Oh, my God, you too. – You look fantastic. -天哪,彼此 -你看起来真美
[12:02] Thank you. -多谢夸奖
[12:04] Now, are you ready for my famous laxa-tini? 准备品尝我的泻药马丁尼了吗?
[12:06] – Oh, boy. – You might be used to vodka, -天啊 -你也许习惯伏特加
[12:07] but tonight you’re getting magnesium sulfate straight up. 但今晚要喝纯的硫酸镁
[12:11] Shaken, not stirred, I hope. 希望是用摇的,不是搅的
[12:13] May I take your bag, Miss Special of the Year?- Oh, thank you. – Mm-hmm. 我帮你拿行李吧,年度特辑小姐 谢谢
[12:16] Her bag, my jokes– you take everything. 她的包包,我的笑话 全被你抢光了
[12:17] All right, let it go, Cliff. 释怀吧,克利夫
[12:21] There are six bathrooms. 这里有六间厕所
[12:23] But if you can’t make it, 但如果来不及
[12:25] there’s a really ugly vase on the kitchen counter. 厨房流理台上有个很丑的花瓶
[12:28] No, it’s deep. 它很深,可以用
[12:30] – It’ll work. – Oh, my. 我的天哪
[12:37] Mine. 我来
[12:41] Beth. 贝丝
[12:43] Mine! 我来
[12:48] Mine! 我来
[12:50] – Oh, my God. – Boom goes the dynamite. 看到我的爆炸威力了吧
[12:52] – How’s my ass taste? – That’s– 吃瘪味道如何?
[12:54] $10 grand, you beta fuck. 一万块了,你这个草食男
[12:55] I’m sorry. I get very competitive. 抱歉,我很好胜
[12:57] But it is $10 grand. 但确实一万了
[12:59] We have to go.We don’t have that kind of money. 该走了,我们没那么多钱
[13:04] Double or nothing? 赌双倍,赢家通吃?
[13:06] Oh, look who grew some foreskin. 突然有种啦,我喜欢
[13:08] I like it. Let’s go. 来吧
[13:11] Oh, my God, help us all. 上帝保佑我们
[13:19] Hello! 这里
[13:20] – Wh– – Oh, shit. Ray? 要命 -雷?
[13:23] Oh, my God. -我的天啊
[13:24] Dude!King of the Palmetto front desk. 兄弟,帕美托赌场饭店前台之王
[13:28] What’s up, my man?How are you? 近来如何,还好吗?
[13:31] So you’re back in Vegas? 你回赌城了?
[13:32] Just for a little. I live in LA. 只待一阵子,我住在洛杉矶
[13:34] I’m on hiatus from working on that show “On The Contrary.” 在"反而言之"工作,现在在休假
[13:37] Oh, yeah. That show used to be funny. 那出节目以前很好笑
[13:40] Thanks. 谢啰
[13:42] Are you here for trivia? -你是来参加竞猜的吗?
[13:43] Am I here for trivia? -还问啊
[13:44] Yeah, I’m a legend around these parts. 对,我在这里是传奇人物
[13:46] My team Quiz Khalifa was disbanded 我的队伍"答题哈利法" 赢太多场被解散了
[13:48] ’cause we won too much,so now I’m with O’trivia Newton-John. 我现在是"竞猜纽顿强"的成员
[13:52] Oh, that’s cool.Yeah, it’s my first time. 好酷,今天是我第一次玩
[13:55] My friend Marcus invited me. 我朋友马可斯请我来的
[13:56] Wait, you’re here with SWA? 等等,你跟SWA一起?
[13:58] SWA? Yeah, Sisters with Answers. -SWA? -对,"答题姊妹"
[14:02] I hate them. We hate them. 我恨她们,大家都是
[14:04] Marcus, are you wearing an Apple Watch, dude? 马可斯,你戴苹果手表?
[14:06] Raymond, it is on airplane mode. 雷蒙,我开到飞航模式了
[14:08] OK, you know the rules, though:no smartwatches, no smartphones. 你知道规则 不能用智慧型手表和智慧型手机
[14:11] You know, you can rattle off about the rules all you want to. 你想搬规则压我,请便
[14:14] You still don’t know the capital of South Dakota. 但你还是不知道南达科塔的首府
[14:16] – Bismarck? – Is it? -俾斯麦? -是吗?
[14:19] It i– 是…
[14:20] oh, fuck, that’s North Dakota.Shit. 可恶,那是北达科塔,该死
[14:23] Jesus Christ. 老天喔
[14:25] – All right, see you on the ice. – Hello! 好,比赛时见 有人吗?
[14:28] You know, I work in customer service too, 我也是客服人员
[14:30] and this is dog shit. 这样实在太差劲了
[14:31] You did not! -不可能… -真的
[14:33] – I did. – No, you did not! 对,我还倒过来呢
[14:34] – Did it backwards. – Backwards! – 倒着做
[14:40] Oh, boy.You are gonna hate this. 你一定会恨死的
[14:47] To talking shit and to making it too. 敬说屁话,和制造大便
[14:51] Down one hatch and out another. 上面进,下面出
[14:57] Oh, God! 天哪
[15:00] I can’t believe you did 40 dates last year. 真不敢相信你去年演了40场
[15:03] I got to give you a lot of credit.I couldn’t do that now. 真有你的,我就做不到了
[15:06] Oh, don’t sell yourself short, Terry. 别妄自菲薄,泰瑞
[15:09] You couldn’t sell out that many venues when you were young either. 你年轻时也演不了这么多场
[15:11] All right, all right. 好…
[15:13] Had I known that you were going to roast Terry, 要是我早知道你会吐槽泰瑞
[15:16] I would have invited you years ago. 我好几年前就会邀你来了
[15:20] Deborah, I saw you on late night. You were fantastic. 黛博拉,我看了你主持深夜秀 你主持得超棒
[15:24] Oh, thanks.Yeah, I heard that Danby kid’s 谢了 我听说丹比那小子
[15:25] probably gonna be the next host. 可能会是下一个主持人
[15:29] I don’t get him.I mean, how old is he? 我不懂这个人 对啊,他几岁?
[15:31] I mean, not even 40, lucky fuck. 不到40吧,幸运的狗东西
[15:35] He’s fine, but he never would have made it back in the day. 他还不错,不过在以前绝对出不了头
[15:38] – Mm-mm, mm-mm. 没错…
[15:40] – No, no.Eh, he’s not that good. 他没那么厉害
[15:42] If they wanted to hire somebody unfunny, 想找不好笑的人
[15:43] they could hire him. 不如找他
[15:44] Hey, hey, hey! 嘿
[15:45] I was just nice to you. 我对你很友善耶,好啊…
[15:47] OK, OK. You have to pay the price. -你得受罚
[15:48] – No, no, no, no! – Come on. Come on. -不要…
[15:50] – Ah, God! – Ah! 天啊
[15:51] Oh, my God. 天啊
[15:53] – Cheers. – Cheers. 干杯…
[15:54] The answer to question number five is Kylie Minogue. 第五题的答案是凯莉米洛
[15:58] Yes, baby! 太好了
[16:00] Question six was Juneau, Alaska. 第六题是阿拉斯加朱诺
[16:01] Killing it! Killing it. -好过瘾
[16:03] – Whoo-hoo! – Yes. -太好了
[16:05] And the answer to question seven 第七题的答案
[16:06] was the film “Frances Ha.” 是电影"纽约哈哈哈"
[16:09] – Yes! – Good girl.I’m a Baumbach-head, dude. -太好了 -好女孩 我很迷包姆巴赫
[16:11] Know his whole oeuvre. 他所有的电影我都很熟
[16:14] The leaders are still Sisters with Answers with 30 points…That’s right. 领先队伍依然是 30分的"答题姊妹"
[16:19] Followed by O’trivia Newton-John 紧追其后的是"竞猜纽顿强"
[16:22] – with 29 points… – Fuck you, bitch. -去死吧 -得分29分
[16:25] And the Corn Cob Boys with 25 points. 和25分的"玉米棒男孩"
[16:28] So round five is gonna be a sports round. -第5回合将是…
[16:30] Wait, violation. Phone violation. -犯规,手机犯规
[16:31] Ava Daniels on SWA, she’s using her phone to cheat. "答题姊妹"的艾娃丹尼尔斯 在用手机作弊
[16:34] – No. – OK, OK, she’s new. -我没有 -她是新来的
[16:35] No, she was warned. -才怪,我警告过她
[16:37] – I warned her. – OK, everybody calm down. -大家别激动
[16:38] All right, so, SWA, you were on your phone. "答题姊妹"有人用手机
[16:40] That’s gonna be a five-point penalty. 扣5分
[16:41] – Oh! – I’m sorry. 对不起,我的手机
[16:43] I’m still connected to the Ring cam 还跟女友家的门铃摄影机连线
[16:44] at my girlfriend’s house, and she’s having a party. 她开派对,一直有人按门铃
[16:46] People keep buzzing the door. I’m just letting them in. 我只是帮人开门
[16:48] – Girl. – Ava? 艾娃?
[16:50] Oh, shit. 该死的
[16:51] – Hi. – Wow. 嗨 -哇
[16:53] Are you kidding me? OK, I’m going outside. 你开玩笑吗?
[16:54] Jesus. 我出去嘛,真是的
[17:00] What the fuck, Ava? 艾娃,你干吗开我家的门让人进去?
[17:02] Why are you letting people into my house? 因为我的手机一直响
[17:04] It kept buzzing on my phone.And I could say that you not creating 我也可以说,你开派对时
[17:08] a party protocol that didn’t involve 没有顾虑到门铃摄影机
[17:09] the Ring cam is disrespectful to me. 对我很不尊重
[17:10] Have you been spying on me through our camera? 你用摄影机监视我?
[17:15] No, I have been here living my life, having a phone. 不是,我在这里带著手机过我的日子
[17:19] And occasionally did I check to make sure 至于我是否偶尔确认
[17:20] you didn’t leave the palo santo burning? 你没有忘记熄掉秘鲁圣木?
[17:22] Yes, it’s possible. 对,有可能
[17:24] Oh, my God. 我的天啊
[17:25] OK. Jesus, I’m sorry. 好啦,对不起
[17:27] I’ll delete it, but it’s just gonna be annoying to re-log in when I get home. 我删掉就是了 但我回去时重新登入很烦
[17:34] I don’t think you’re gonna be re-logging in. 你应该不会重新登入了
[17:36] What do you mean I’m not gonna re-log in 为什么我不会重新登入
[17:38] to our doorbell app? 我们的门铃程式?
[17:40] I just think this space has felt…really right for me. 我觉得这样给彼此空间很适合
[17:45] And I’m just not sure– 我不确定…
[17:47] I’m sure. I’m very sure. 我确定,非常确定
[17:49] I want to be with you. 我想跟你在一起
[17:52] Then be with me. 那就跟我在一起
[17:54] Come to Iceland. 来冰岛
[17:57] I– 我…
[17:59] We’re just–it’s– 我们只是…
[18:00] There’s my answer. 我得到答案了
[18:04] I think this is over. 看来我们结束了
[18:06] No. Ruby– 不要,露比
[18:08] Bye, Ava. 再见,艾娃
[18:20] Great shot.Don’t say that. -好球 -别说这种话
[18:24] Why would you say that? 干吗这么说?
[18:29] – Oh. – You got to come up on those. – 哦,你要上前…
[18:31] – I beg your pardon? – You got to come up on those. -你说什么? 你要上前
[18:33] Oh, my God. 老天
[18:34] Mine! 我的
[18:39] You got to come up on those. -你要上前
[18:40] There we go. Boom! -打得好
[18:42] Oh, Jesus. Ow. 天啊
[18:44] Oh, you didn’t like that, huh? 不喜欢吧?
[18:46] Match point for you guys. 你们的赛末点
[18:48] We know, Beth. 我们知道,贝丝,天啊
[18:50] Jesus fuck!This is exactly why I divorced your ass. 该死的,难怪我会跟你离婚
[18:54] I know. God. 我知道,天啊
[19:04] Hey, what’s going on? You OK? 怎么回事,你还好吗?
[19:06] Jimmy, I feel like I’m really scared. 吉米,我好害怕
[19:08] My back’s, like, tensing up. 我的背好紧绷
[19:09] You know I’m the weakest link. 你也知道我最弱
[19:11] I feel like I’m gonna mess this up. 我会搞砸的
[19:12] Hey, you got a great serve. 你发球很强
[19:14] All you have to do is get it over the net. 发球过网就好了
[19:15] And if it comes to you, dink it. 球过来 吊回去就好
[19:16] OK. Dink it. 好,吊球回去
[19:18] Dink it, and I’ll take care of the rest, OK? 吊回去,其他的交给我
[19:19] – OK. – All right, you got this. -好 -你没问题的
[19:22] – OK. – OK. 好
[19:24] Thanks. 谢了
[19:37] Beth. 贝丝
[19:41] – Nice dink! – Mine! -吊得好 -我的
[19:45] – Yeah! – Yes! -太好了
[19:47] – How’s my ass taste? – Whoo! -吃瘪味道如何?
[19:48] Motherfucker! 天杀的
[19:50] – Yes! We won nothing. – That was amazing. -太棒了 -我们什么都没赢
[19:52] God, what is wrong with you? 你是有什么毛病?
[19:54] – Good game. – Ugh. 打得好
[19:55] That is the best match we’ve had in months, right, Beth? 这是我们几个月来最精彩的一场吧?
[19:58] – I guess. – You’re good, LuSaque. -大概吧 -拉萨克,你真行
[20:00] You’re at Latitude, right? 你在纬度公司吧?
[20:01] I actually left to start my own firm. 其实我自立门户了
[20:03] Deborah Vance came with us.Ah, she’s funny. 黛博拉凡斯跟我们一起离开 她很搞笑
[20:05] Good for you. She’s having a moment. 恭喜,她现在很红
[20:07] Yeah, a moment I think you could be taking advantage of. 对,你可以好好利用
[20:10] I know you need a new host for 11:30, 我知道你们11点半需要新主持
[20:11] and she’d be amazing. 她很适合
[20:13] – She rocks. – I mean, she’s funny -她超棒 -她很风趣,
[20:14] but old-school in the perfect way. 传统得很完美
[20:16] She can talk to anybody and– -很有亲和力…
[20:17] Hey, you don’t have to sell me on Deborah. -你不用跟我推销黛博拉
[20:19] I love her. I loved her guest spot. 我欣赏她,客座主持很棒
[20:20] But I need someone with–how can I put this– staying power. 但是我需要…要怎么说呢? 一个比较持久的人
[20:23] You said yourself in your interview in “Variety”– 我看了你接受综艺杂志
[20:25] I read it, loved it– 采访的报导,我很喜欢
[20:26] that late night’s on the decline 你说深夜秀在走下坡
[20:27] and you need to shake it up. 需要整顿一番
[20:29] Well, Deborah’s a really noisy choice. 黛博拉是个很有声量的选择
[20:31] She’s certainly unexpected. 她确实出人意料
[20:32] But a 70-year-old woman is a tough sell. 但一个70岁的女人没有卖点
[20:34] Well, not to your audience. 对你的观众来说不是
[20:36] I mean, the majority of people watching are over 30. 这个时段的观众大多都超过30岁
[20:38] You put someone like Jack Danby behind that desk, 让杰克丹比这样的人主持
[20:40] kids aren’t getting off TikTok to watch him. 年轻人不会放下抖音来看他 我妈不认识他
[20:41] My mom doesn’t know who he is. 但是黛博拉的实体DVD
[20:43] But Deborah sold 4 million physical DVDs last year. 去年热卖400万张
[20:46] I mean, she’s the queen of people who can’t figure out their internet. 她是网路白痴族群的女王
[20:49] With her, you keep the audience you have. 有了她,你能保住原来的观众
[20:51] Plus, you’re doing something that’s never been done before. 而且也做了前所未有的创举
[20:53] Jimmy, it’s a good pitch, 吉米,你很有说服力
[20:55] but I just don’t think she’s it. 但我觉得她不适合
[20:56] But I’m gonna think about it. 不过我会考虑的
[20:58] You want to play tomorrow morning? 明早再来打球?
[20:59] Like, in ten hours? -10个小时后吗?
[21:00] Yeah. -对
[21:01] See you there, sister. 到时候见,姊妹
[21:02] You reserve. See you at 7:00. Bye. -你去约场地,7点钟见 -再见
[21:05] We can’t reserve a court if we’re nonmembers. 非会员不能约场地
[21:08] Ugh, how much does it cost to join? 入会要多少钱?
[21:10] $20 grand a year apiece. 一个人一年2万
[21:11] It’d be less if we were married. 配偶比较便宜
[21:14] How much less? 便宜多少?
[21:15] OK, I hear you loud and clear. 我明白你的意思了
[21:17] – No, I just want to know– – No, no. -不是,我只是想知道…
[21:19] It’s something you want to consider. -不用解释,你想考虑 我们必须入会
[21:20] – That’s fine. – We have to join now 我考虑的是这个
[21:21] – is my consideration. – OK, yeah. 好,我们讨论一下
[21:22] Let’s talk about it.This is the last question. 这是最后一题,我们可以赢
[21:25] We could win this.Which Ventura, California, swing band 加州文土拉哪个摇摆乐团的
[21:28] are known for their song “You, Me, and the Bottle Make Three”? 成名曲是"你我和酒瓶成三人"?
[21:35] The Big Bad Voodoo Daddies. "巫毒坏老爹们"
[21:41] Are you OK? 你还好吗?
[21:43] No. 不好
[21:45] And the answer to the final question 最后一题的答案是
[21:47] is Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, singular. "巫毒坏老爹",是单数
[21:50] Big Bad Voodoo Daddies will not be accepted. Yes! -"巫毒坏老爹们"不是正确答案 -太好了
[21:54] And that means the winner is O’trivia Newton-John. 所以获胜的是"竞猜纽顿强"
[22:00] That’s good, Sisters with Not Enough Answers. 没关系,《答案不够》姐妹篇。
[22:01] It’s OK. It’s just bar trivia. 这只是酒吧竞猜
[22:03] I’m so stupid. 我好蠢
[22:06] – It’s OK. Here. – Here, drink. 没关系,来 喝吧
[22:09] – Do they have food here? – No. -这里有卖吃的吗? -没有…
[22:14] Yes, I fly to Miami next week. 对,我下周要飞去迈阿密
[22:16] You know, the one thing I do love about getting old: 知道变老的唯一好处吗?
[22:20] boarding early. 可以提早登机
[22:21] Oh, yeah, yeah. 对
[22:22] In the time it takes for them to say, 只要听到他们说
[22:24] “Does anyone need any assistance?” "有谁需要协助吗?"
[22:25] I can go from Usain Bolt to Stephen Hawking. 我可以马上从牙买加闪电 变成史蒂芬霍金
[22:31] Oh, shame on all of you, flying commercial 你们也真够丢脸的 明明可以
[22:34] when you have the means to fly private. 坐私人飞机,却坐商业航班
[22:36] OK, get this. 听我说
[22:38] We’re having Thanksgiving at my daughter’s this year. 我今年要去女儿家过感恩节
[22:40] And last night, she called me to give me a heads-up 昨天她打电话警告我说
[22:43] that my 15-year-old granddaughter is bisexual now. 我15岁的外孙女现在是双性恋
[22:47] – Oh, no. – Come on. 少来了
[22:48] Do they even know what boys and girls are? 她们知道男生跟女生是什么吗
[22:50] She showed me a picture of her boyfriend. 她拿男朋友的照片给我看
[22:53] I thought it was my second wife. 我还以为是我的第二任前妻
[22:55] You know, I hate that shit.Then they got the pansexual. 我恨死这套鬼话了,现在还有泛性恋
[22:59] What, they fuck skillets? 怎么,他们会搞平底锅吗?
[23:01] – Pick a team. Pick a team. – Yes. Yes. 选定一边…
[23:05] Well, I mean, there are an elite few who are attracted to both genders or all genders. 有少数菁英会受到两性 或所有性别的吸引 -所有?
[23:12] – All genders? – All 15? -所有性别?-全部15种性别?
[23:13] Wait, wait, wait. -等等…
[23:16] – A-L-L? – Are you doing a bit? 你在说笑话吗?
[23:17] No, no.I’m just saying you– 不是,我只是说
[23:21] you can’t say that all bisexuals are faking it. 总不能说所有的双性恋都是假装的吧
[23:25] Oh, come on, Deb, we all know most of the girls 少来了,我们都知道大部分这种女性
[23:26] are doing it these days ’cause they want a little attention. 都是因为想得到关注
[23:29] OK. 好喔
[23:31] Is this a bit? 这是在说笑话吗?
[23:34] No. 不是
[23:36] You know, for comedians, you’re all… 亏你们是喜剧演员 跟现实
[23:38] a little out of touch. 还这么脱节
[23:39] Uno.Excuse me. 我剩一张 失陪,我去一下洗手间
[23:55] Nature calls. 我说错话了吗?
[24:02] So Deborah swings both ways, huh? 黛博拉也是两边通吃?
[24:04] Between funny and unfunny. 好笑跟不好笑
[24:07] Maybe she is one of those people. 也许她就是这样的人
[24:09] Yeah, what a buzzkill. 对啊,真扫兴
[24:11] Thanks for inviting the PC police, Henry. 亨利,多谢你邀请政治正确警察喔
[24:14] It’s gonna be hard to do a colonoscopy 这么玻璃心 照大肠镜
[24:16] with that stick up her ass. 恐怕撑不住喔
[24:21] Shh, shh, shh. 嘘嘘
[24:54] Don’t even think about taking that to your room. 不准把那个拿回房间
[24:57] Eat it over the sink like you normally do. 像平常一样在水槽吃
[24:58] I’m depressed, and I don’t want to talk to you, 我心情不好 不想跟你讲话
[25:00] so I’m leaving. 所以我要走了
[25:02] Well, too bad. I’m not talking to you either. 可惜,我也不想跟你讲话
[25:04] You ruined my poop party!What? What did I do? 你毁了我的便便派对 什么,我做了什么?
[25:06] Also, why are you housing cheese like a fucking mouse? 而且你干吗像老鼠一样狂吃起司?
[25:11] – It’s binding! – Not for me! -因为可以止泻 -对我没用
[25:13] You know, I finally get in good with those guys, 我好不容易跟他们混熟了
[25:15] and I can’t enjoy it because of you.You got in my head. 却没办法享受 因为我的思绪被你污染了
[25:20] They said some crap about bisexuals, 他们说了一些关于双性恋的鬼话
[25:22] and I couldn’t let it go. 我没办法当做没听到
[25:24] I don’t understand. So you defended me? 我不懂,你帮我讲话了?
[25:26] Not you.Other bisexuals. 不是你,是其他双性恋
[25:29] Alan Cumming and Malcolm X. 艾伦康明和麦尔坎X
[25:32] You know, I had to say something, 我必须发声
[25:34] and then it got really uncomfortable,and I didn’t want to stay. 场面变得好尴尬,我不想留下来
[25:37] And it’s all because of you! 都是因为你
[25:38] Well, sorry I changed your mind about bisexuals. 抱歉改变了你对双性恋的看法喔
[25:41] I mean, before you, I was perfectly content 认识你之前
[25:43] being a gorgeous Vegas comic, doing my thing,making tons of money. 我很安逸地当著 美艳的赌城喜剧演员,日进斗金
[25:48] And then you come along,and you make me want more for myself. 结果遇见了你,害我有更大的目标
[25:51] And it’s just fucking annoying! 真是烦死了
[25:53] OK, so you’re mad at me for pushing you to be better? 你气我督促你进步?
[25:56] Yes. No. 对…不对
[25:58] I don’t know. I don’t know. 我也不知道…
[26:00] It’s just, a few years ago, I could not have dreamt 几年前,我做梦都梦不到
[26:02] that I would walk out of a party 我会离开这场派对
[26:03] where Henry Weeks was saying how great I was, 尽管亨利威克斯在赞美我
[26:07] and that’s what I did tonight. 但我今晚就这么做了,我好气你
[26:09] And I’m just mad at you! 我也很气你
[26:11] Well, I’m mad at you. Where are you going? 你要去哪里?
[26:14] The bathroom! 厕所啊
[26:15] Are you–is there a bathroom right there? I’ve been walking 你…那里有厕所?
[26:18] all the way to the east wing this whole time. 我一直都跑去东厢上厕所
[26:22] Oh, my God. 天啊
[26:24] You know, I’m sorry you had to leave a party. 很抱歉让你离开了一场派对
[26:27] But I just lost a relationship with someone I love to be here. 但是我为了来这里,失去了我爱的人
[26:31] And I’m gonna lose all our mutual friends. 这下我会失去我们所有共同朋友
[26:33] And our facialist is for sure gonna choose her 我们的美容师一定会选她
[26:36] ’cause she said Ruby’s face was “less work” on a text 因为我偷看到她传简讯
[26:39] that I saw over her shoulder. 说露比的脸"比较不费工"
[26:43] And that sucks. 感觉超差
[26:46] And it’s all because I came back here. 全都是因为我回来
[26:50] Well, you didn’t have to come back! 你可以不用回来
[26:52] Yes, I did. 我非回来不可
[26:54] Because I wanted to. I wanted to be here with you 因为我想要,我想回来跟著你
[26:57] ’cause you’re in my head. 因为你污染了我的思绪
[27:00] Yeah, well, I’m sorry, I guess. 那我很抱歉吧
[27:03] I don’t know what to tell you. 我不知道该说什么
[27:05] I don’t know either. 我也不知道
[27:07] All I know is, we better get this thing, 我只知道我们最好成功
[27:08] ’cause it comes at great personal cost 因为我做了很大的牺牲
[27:10] to repair the trauma of your pilot not going 才修复你在卡特总统时代
[27:13] during the Carter administration. 试播集失败造成的创伤
[27:15] That’s not why I want it. 那不是原因
[27:16] I’ve wanted it since I was a kid. 这是我从小的梦想
[27:19] You have?Yes. -真的? -对
[27:22] Well, cool your parents let you stay up that late. 你爸妈真好,让你看那么晚的节目
[27:24] My mom wouldn’t let me watch “Ren & Stimpy” ’cause of all the close-ups of zits. Yeah, well, 我妈连"莱恩和史丁比"都不准我看 因为特写都在拍青春痘
[27:28] you know, my house wasn’t real big on rules. 你也知道,我家没什么规矩
[27:35] My dad was a drinker. 我爸是酒鬼
[27:37] The later it got, the worse it got. 时间越晚,状况越糟
[27:42] Except when Johnny Carson came on. 除了强尼卡森的节目播出时
[27:46] He was funny enough that he’d distract him, 强尼卡森很风趣,让我爸分心了
[27:48] and he’d laugh. 逗得他大笑
[27:51] And we’d all laugh. 我们也都跟著笑
[27:54] It was– 那种感觉…
[27:57] I don’t know, it was nice. 说不上来 感觉很好
[28:04] So all I ever wanted was to,you know, live in that hour. 所以我希望能一直停留在那个小时
[28:12] You never talk about your parents. 你从来不谈父母的事
[28:14] Well, it makes you sound old when you say your parents are dead. 谈父母双亡的事很显老
[28:19] Why don’t you just come out and say why you want it? 干吗不直说想要这份工作的原因?
[28:21] I think if people knew how personal this is for you, 如果大家知道这件事 对你个人的意义
[28:24] that would be really compelling. 会很感动的
[28:26] Oh, God, no, I can’t even say I want it, 不行,我连想要都说不出口
[28:28] let alone all that other stuff. 更别提背后原因了
[28:29] OK, sure, but I think you can say what you want. 对啦,但我觉得你可以说出你的渴望
[28:33] You’ve never played by the rules. 你向来离经叛道
[28:35] And I don’t think you have the luxury of playing this safe 现在也没资格打安全牌
[28:37] ’cause you’re not the safe choice. 你本来就不是安全的选择
[28:39] Can’t risk it. -我不能冒险
[28:40] You’re all about risk. -你最喜欢冒险了
[28:42] You self-financed your special and sold it on QVC. 你自掏腰包拍了特辑,在购物台兜售
[28:46] That was before. 那是以前
[28:48] I’ve got all these eyes on me now. 我现在是众人瞩目的焦点
[28:51] I’m finally respected, respectable. 我终于受到尊重,值得尊重
[28:57] If I say I want it and then I don’t get it 如果我说想要,但是没有获选
[29:02] for the second time, 再次失败
[29:06] then I’ll be a joke again. 我会再度成为笑柄
[29:09] And that would just be too much. 那样我会无法承受
[29:13] Would it? 会吗?
[29:15] I mean, who are you worried about being a joke to? 你担心谁嘲笑你?
[29:17] The guys whose respect you wanted most of all, 你最希望尊重你的人
[29:19] you just rejected. 刚刚被你拒绝了
[29:22] Deborah, your superpower is that you’re shameless. 黛博拉,你的超能力就是忝不知耻
[29:25] And having shame about the thing you want most in the world 羞于追求自己最想要的事物
[29:29] isn’t you. 不是你的作风
[29:32] You think that’s a terrible idea. 你觉得我的想法很糟糕
[29:36] No, the cheese isn’t working. 不是,起司没有作用
[29:46] All right, well, next up 好,接下来
[29:48] is the Sulfur Springs High School marching band. 是硫磺泉镇高中乐仪队
[29:50] Careful, kids, those New York City potholes can be a doozy. 小朋友当心了 纽约的道路可是千疮百孔
[29:55] Well, not to steal their thunder, Mario, 玛利欧,不是我想抢风头
[29:56] but can I make an announcement here on live television? Thanks. 但我想趁直播时宣布一件事,谢谢
[30:00] America, I am ready to 美国同胞们 我准备好
[30:02] be the next woman on network late night. That’s right. 成为下一个 进驻电视深夜节目的女性了
[30:05] I want to be the next host of “The Late Show.” 没错,我想当 "深夜秀"的下一个主持人
[30:09] I may be a woman and I may be a natural blonde, 我也许是女的,也许天生金发
[30:12] but I am the best person for the job. 但我是最适合这份工作的人
[30:14] I’m funny. I’m vivacious. 我风趣,活泼
[30:16] And I’m the only person who can get away 也是唯一可以
[30:18] with asking a man, “Cut or uncut?” 问男人有没有割包皮的人
[30:20] Mario? 玛里欧?
[30:22] Uncut. Thought so. -没有 -我想也是
[30:25] OK. 好的
[30:27] And how about that cymbal section? 铙钹精彩吧?
[30:31] Yeah, why don’t we take a quick commercial break? 休息一下,进广告吧
[30:35] – Did you see this? – What? Deborah Vance went rogue on live TV 看到了吗,黛博拉凡斯 现场转播时脱稿演出
[30:38] and announced she’s gunning to be the next woman in network late night. 宣布争取成为下一位 主持电视深夜节目的女性
[30:42] – That was bold of her. – I loved it. -好勇敢 -我喜欢
[30:45] Good for her.I don’t like her for it. Come on.Joy, you got to get over the beef. -我觉得她不适合 -你该放下对她的怨恨了
[30:48] – Never. – Oh, my God.- Joy. -别想 -天啊
[30:50] – What? You’re unbelievable. -干吗? -你真是不可理喻
[30:52] Well, like it or not, she’s on the campaign trail. 管你喜不喜欢,她都铁了心要争取
[30:54] So watch out, America. She’s coming for you. 美国观众小心了,她来势汹汹
[31:00] Temps will fall across Indianapolis late tonight. 今天深夜印第安纳波利斯会降温
[31:03] Speaking of late night, wouldn’t you like 说到深夜 你难道不希望
[31:04] a charming gal like me on your TV set every night to keep you warm and toasty? 我这样的迷人女生 每晚在电视上给你温暖吗?
[31:08] Oh, a Deborah burger is very interesting to us. -很棒 -黛博拉汉堡很有意思
[31:12] Yo, can I get a Deborah’s Dunkin’ Midnight Roast? 我要一份黛博拉深夜烘焙
[31:15] Welcome to Las Vegas, baby. 欢迎光临拉斯维加斯,宝贝
[31:17] Remember, what happens here stays here, 别忘了,这里发生的事永远留在这里
[31:19] unless it’s crabs. 除非是阴虱
[31:21] Fuck yes. 太好了
[31:22] Deb’s in. Whoo! Rock and roll! 厉害喔,摇滚吧
[31:28] In 20 feet, you will be arriving at your destination. 目的地在前方20呎处
[31:31] What a dump! 真是个烂地方
[31:38] I have been bugging my manager for years. 我已经烦了经理好多年
[31:40] The only thing I’ve wanted more than late night 我比"深夜秀"更想上的节目
[31:42] is to be on “Talk Stoop.” 就是"倾谈"
[31:44] Right, Cara? 对吧,卡拉?
[32:01] OK, hold on.You got to hear this. 等等,你们听听这个
[32:04] Hi, it’s Winnie. 我是温妮,
[32:06] So this morning, I walked in on my son 今早我撞见儿子
[32:07] doing a Deborah Vance makeup tutorial. 看著黛博拉凡斯的彩妆教程学化妆
[32:10] She might have wider appeal than I thought. 她的观众群可能比我想的还广
[32:12] We should talk. Call me back. 我们谈谈吧,回电给我
[32:14] OK! 好啊
[32:15] Yay! Oh, my God! 天啊
[32:18] God, of course her kid was the key. 关键当然是她的孩子
[32:20] Executives love listening to their kids. 高阶主管最听小孩的话
[32:22] I was actually at the sleepover 我小时候去朋友家过夜时
[32:24] where we decided that Tobey Maguire 决定让陶比麦奎尔
[32:26] would be the next Spider-Man. 当下一任蛛蛛人
[32:29] Oh, my God! 我的天啊
[32:31] This is huge. 这可是大事
[32:32] You did it. 你成功了
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