| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | “Hot in Cleveland” is recorded in front of a live studio audience. | 《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的 |
| [00:04] | Happy shared fake-birthday everyone! | 大家假生日快乐 |
| [00:06] | Happy birthday. | 生日快乐 |
| [00:07] | So what are we geting each other for our fake birthday this year? | 今年的假生日 我们互送什么 |
| [00:10] | We’re getting each other dates. | 还是互送约会对象 |
| [00:11] | Just like we did last year. | 跟去年一样 |
| [00:13] | But last year was a disaster. | 去年可是彻头彻尾的灾难 |
| [00:15] | I still haven’t recovered from my fix-up with Chester. | 我还没从大雄的阴影中走出来呢 |
| [00:18] | You know, with the man boobs. | 就是大胸那个 |
| [00:21] | I hear he’s married now | 我听说他结婚了 |
| [00:23] | and has a baby. | 孩子都有了 |
| [00:24] | I wonder who’s feeding it. | 喂奶的是爹还是妈呢 |
| [00:27] | We’re getting each other dates. | 就送约会对象 |
| [00:28] | And here’s who I want. | 我要这个 |
| [00:31] | Jack Huntington? | 杰克·汉廷顿 |
| [00:32] | Wow, he’s handsome. | 他很帅嘛 |
| [00:34] | And rich. | 还很有钱 |
| [00:35] | I’m steering my boat in a whole new direction- | 我的爱情之舟要改变方向 |
| [00:38] | hot and loaded. | 驶往”英俊多金” |
| [00:41] | So it’s really over with Max? | 麦克斯真的已成往事了 |
| [00:43] | He hooked up with a younger woman. | 他和一个年轻妹子搞上了 |
| [00:45] | Some 80-year-old bimbo. | 80岁的小傻妞 |
| [00:50] | Apparently, she fawns all over him. | 很显然她靠献媚勾搭上的 |
| [00:51] | Why are men such suckers for women who are dumb and adoring? | 为什么一见漂亮傻妞 男人就成了软骨头 |
| [00:54] | I don’t know, but that’s exactly how I’m gonna be to get Jack. | 不知道 但我打算使这招钓上杰克 |
| [00:57] | So hook me up, bony-maroni. | 你得给我介绍成功 排骨精 |
| [01:02] | You know what, I want to go another way too. | 知道吗 我也想换换口味 |
| [01:05] | Can you find me somebody laid-back? | 你能帮我找个随意点的吗 |
| [01:08] | Maybe with a beard, long hair. | 比如说大胡子 长头发 |
| [01:11] | I’ve never had that before. | 我从没约过这类型的 |
| [01:12] | I know just the fella. | 我手头正好有一个 |
| [01:14] | Well, if we’re picking what kind of men we want, | 既然可以选自己想要的 |
| [01:16] | I’ve always had a thing for Robert De Niro. | 我一直很迷罗伯特·德尼罗 |
| [01:19] | I hear he only digs black chicks. | 我听说他只喜欢黑妞 |
| [01:23] | Well, then, find me a man who’s like De Niro, | 那就帮我找个像德尼罗 |
| [01:25] | but fancies pasty, white women. | 但是情迷白妞的 |
| [01:29] | Oh, mix in a bit of Pacino, add a hint of Seinfeld for laughs. | 最好来点阿尔·帕西诺的味道 加点宋飞的搞笑 |
| [01:33] | Ooh, and a dash of Sean Connery circa 1968. | 再配上肖恩·康纳利68年左右的风度 |
| [01:39] | Done. | 包我身上 |
| [01:42] | Really? I mean, how on earth- | 少来了 怎么可能… |
| [01:43] | Buh-buh-buh. | 别说了 |
| [01:44] | Done. | 包我身上 |
| [01:46] | And as for me, Melanie, my requirements are simple. | 至于我嘛 梅兰妮 要求很简单 |
| [01:48] | No man boobs. | 不要大胸 |
| [01:50] | Nothing abnormally large or small. | 任何部位都不能过大或过小 |
| [01:53] | No third anything. | 多出来的第三个也不要 |
| [01:55] | Just your run-of-the-mill, rich, handsome man. | 普通的有钱帅哥就行 |
| [01:58] | So how old are we turning this year? | 今年我们多少岁了 |
| [02:01] | How about 42? | 42岁怎么样 |
| [02:02] | That sounds good to me. | 我觉得不错 |
| [02:04] | Oh, I can’t pass for 42. | 42岁我可混不过去 |
| [02:06] | Put me down for | 就说姐刚满 |
| [02:08] | 50. | 50吧 |
| [02:11] | Elka, what have we said about using the “F” word? | 爱尔卡 不是说好了你自称五十纯属操蛋吗 |
| [02:25] | To review, if any one of us needs help, | 再说一遍 如果需要帮忙 |
| [02:27] | we use our fake laugh. | 就用假笑求助 |
| [02:29] | But I’m in bimbo mode. | 可我今天走傻妞路线 |
| [02:31] | I’ll be fake-laughing all night. | 一整晚会傻笑到抽筋 |
| [02:34] | Oh, Jack. | 杰克 |
| [02:35] | You’re so handsome and smart. | 你好帅哦 好聪明哦 |
| [02:39] | I got this. | 我没问题的 |
| [02:42] | His assistant said he was running a little late. | 他的助理说他会晚点到 |
| [02:44] | He’s flying in from Cincinnati. | 他从辛辛那提过来 |
| [02:45] | Private plane. | 坐的私人飞机 |
| [02:47] | I didn’t know he was that rich. | 我不知道他有钱到这个地步 |
| [02:50] | Maybe I better go dumber. | 也许得更傻点才行 |
| [02:53] | Oh, Joy, there’s your date. | 乔依 你的约会对象在那里 |
| [02:56] | That’s him? | 就他吗 |
| [02:56] | The guy in the brown shirt, brown pants, and brown shoes? | 棕色衬衫 棕色裤子 棕色鞋子 |
| [03:00] | Please tell me he’s not as dull as he looks. | 拜托告诉我 他只是样子呆而已 |
| [03:02] | Oh, Kenny, this is Joy. | 肯尼 这是乔依 |
| [03:04] | Hi, Kenny. | 你好 肯尼 |
| [03:05] | Hi, nice to meet you. | 你好 很高兴认识你 |
| [03:06] | Funny thing, I don’t usually go out on a Tuesday night. | 说来好笑 通常周二我是不出门的 |
| [03:08] | Usually Thursdays. | 一般约周四 |
| [03:10] | Although today feels something like a Wednesday. | 不过今天感觉有点像周三 |
| [03:12] | Probably because Monday was a holiday. | 可能因为周一是假期吧 |
| [03:15] | I’m sorry. I’m being rude. | 抱歉 我太没礼貌了 |
| [03:17] | What day does it feel like to you? | 你觉得今天是哪一天 |
| [03:20] | Longest day of my life. | 生命中最漫长的一天 |
| [03:22] | Why don’t you find us a table, | 你帮我们找张桌子吧 |
| [03:24] | – and I’ll be right there. – Sure. | -我马上就来 -好的 |
| [03:27] | You waited until the last minute again, didn’t you? | 你又是到最后随手拉的一个 对吗 |
| [03:30] | Waited till the last minute, yes, | 等到最后 正确 |
| [03:31] | and found the wrong guy, no. | 货不对版 错误 |
| [03:34] | Now why don’t you go over there and find out what brown can do for you. | 你快过去 看看”棕色可以为你做什么” |
| [03:38] | Oh, Victoria, there’s your date at the end of the bar. | 维多利亚 你的对象在吧台角 |
| [03:40] | His name is Timothy. | 他叫蒂莫西 |
| [03:41] | He’s a benefactor at the Museum of Modern Art. | 他是现代艺术博物馆的捐赠人 |
| [03:43] | And, check it, no man cleavage. | 看好了 没有乳沟 |
| [03:46] | Sold. | 收货 |
| [03:49] | Oh, here comes your date. | 你的对象来了 |
| [03:50] | Dr. Doug. | 道格医生 |
| [03:53] | Jesus. | 耶稣上帝啊 |
| [03:56] | Cute, huh? | 很诱人吧 |
| [03:57] | No. He looks like Jesus. | 不 他看起来像耶稣 |
| [04:02] | Elka, I can’t date Jesus. That’s a sin. | 爱尔卡 我不能跟耶稣约会 有罪的 |
| [04:04] | And if it isn’t, it should be. | 就算不是原罪 也应该属于犯罪 |
| [04:05] | Relax. If you don’t like him, | 放轻松 如果你不喜欢他 |
| [04:07] | it’ll be your last supper. | 这顿饭就是「最后的晚餐」 |
| [04:11] | Hey, Elka. | 你好啊 爱尔卡 |
| [04:13] | Oh, you must be Melanie. | 你肯定是梅兰妮 |
| [04:15] | – I’m Doug. – Hi. | -我是道格 -你好 |
| [04:17] | He’s a holistic veterinarian. | 他是位综合治疗兽医 |
| [04:19] | Animals come to him crippled and sick, | 无论是瘸的还是病的动物 |
| [04:21] | and he heals ’em all. | 在他手中都能痊愈 |
| [04:22] | Wow, you sound like a miracle worker. | 哇 听起来像是上帝般的「奇迹缔造者」 |
| [04:27] | Well, I guess I just have the touch. | 我可能拥有”手到病除”的能力吧 |
| [04:31] | Uh, shall we find a table? | 找桌子坐下好吗 |
| [04:33] | Oh, that one over there looks free. | 那边的 好像没人 |
| [04:34] | Sure. Great. I’ll be right there. | 好的 我马上就来 |
| [04:39] | Probably doesn’t look anything like Jesus, right? | 可能根本就不像耶稣 |
| [04:41] | I’m just freaking out over nothing. | 是我太疑神疑鬼了 |
| [04:48] | Oh, dear lord. | 上帝啊 |
| [04:55] | Hi, I’m Roy. | 你好 我是罗伊 |
| [04:56] | You ready to order? | 需要点菜了吗 |
| [04:57] | Not just yet. I’m waiting for my date. | 还不用 我在等人 |
| [04:59] | Oh, good, ’cause my feet are killing me. | 太好了 我的脚疼死了 |
| [05:04] | First night on the job. | 上班第一晚 |
| [05:06] | I don’t really need the money, | 不是冲工资来的 |
| [05:07] | but I just wanted to get out of the house, try something new. | 只想离开家 找点新鲜事做 |
| [05:10] | So what’s your story? | 说说你吧 |
| [05:11] | I’m turning fake 50 today. | 我今天过假的50岁生日 |
| [05:16] | Well, you don’t look a day over fake 45. | 你看上去顶多45岁 |
| [05:20] | So who’d keep a gorgeous creature like you waiting? | 谁会让你这样标致的美女坐冷板凳啊 |
| [05:25] | A gorgeous creature like him. | 他这位标致的帅哥 |
| [05:29] | That’s what you go for. | 原来你喜欢这种型 |
| [05:31] | Pretty boys. | 小白脸 |
| [05:35] | – Elka? – Jack? | -爱尔卡 -杰克 |
| [05:40] | Sorry I’m late, darling, | 抱歉我迟到了 亲爱的 |
| [05:41] | but there was a lot of traffic. | 交通堵塞太厉害 |
| [05:43] | On the road or in the sky? | 路上还是天上 |
| [05:47] | Actually both. | 都一样 |
| [05:52] | Oh, Jack, you are so smart and handsome. | 杰克 你好聪明好帅哦 |
| [05:56] | And you are so delightful. | 你好可爱 |
| [06:00] | We’ll have a bottle of Dom Perignon | 来瓶唐培里侬香槟王 |
| [06:02] | and some zucchini sticks. | 以及意大利瓜条 |
| [06:06] | Oh, you speak both French and Italian. | 你居然会说法语和意大利语啊 |
| [06:12] | And I’m the only one that realized they hung the Rothko upside-down. | 只有我发现 罗斯科的画挂反了 |
| [06:17] | Excuse me, would you mind scooching down a stool? | 打扰下 麻烦你挪个位子好吗 |
| [06:20] | My date and I would like to sit together. | 我们正约会呢 想坐一起 |
| [06:22] | No problem. | 没问题 |
| [06:32] | I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce you. | 不好意思 忘了介绍了 |
| [06:34] | Victoria, this is my brother, Richard. | 维多利亚 这是我兄弟 理查德 |
| [06:40] | An upside-down Rothko. | 挂反的罗斯科的画 |
| [06:51] | Siamese twins? | 连体双胞胎 |
| [06:54] | No way. Are you sure? | 不可能 你确定吗 |
| [06:56] | Oh, I’m sure. | 非常确定 |
| [06:57] | My siamese twins-dar has never let me down. | 我看连体双胞胎向来是一看一个准 |
| [07:01] | Victoria, I had no idea. | 维多利亚 我真不知道 |
| [07:03] | I met Timothy at a benefit at the art museum, | 我在博物馆的筹款会上碰到蒂莫西 |
| [07:05] | and it was super crowded. We were packed in like sardines. | 当时大家挤得跟罐头沙丁鱼一样 |
| [07:08] | I mean, it could have been a convention of siamese twins for all I knew. | 可能是连体双胞胎大集会也说不定呢 |
| [07:13] | At least you got a shot at one of your dates being interesting. | 至少你的二分之一对象还算有趣 |
| [07:17] | Maybe my date could part them. | 我的对象也许能分开他们 |
| [07:21] | He’s Jesus, not Moses. | 他是耶稣 不是摩西[摩西分海] |
| [07:23] | All right, Melanie, I don’t care how crowded it was. | 好了 梅兰妮 我不管当时有多挤 |
| [07:26] | How could you not have noticed this? | 你怎么会没看出来 |
| [07:28] | I was a little busy looking for men without breasts. | 我把注意力都放在没有大胸上了 |
| [07:33] | It’s harder than you think in Cleveland. | 在克利夫兰 这个难度超乎你想象 |
| [07:38] | Oh, well, I guess I better get up. | 看来我该起来了 |
| [07:40] | – This guy’s a riot. – This guy? | -这人太搞笑了 -他吗 |
| [07:43] | I told him someone just took the last order of salmon. | 我刚跟他说 三文鱼已经没有了 |
| [07:45] | Listen to this. | 听听这个 |
| [07:47] | You’re out of order, | 这个也没有 |
| [07:48] | I’m out of order. | 那个也没有 |
| [07:50] | This whole restaurant’s out of order. | 什么都没有你还敢开餐厅 |
| [07:54] | Al Pacino. That’s fantastic. | 超像阿尔·帕西诺 太神了 |
| [07:57] | Do you mean it, Moneypenny? | 真心话吗 莫奈彭妮小姐 |
| [07:58] | Or are you just blowing smoke up my kilt? | 还是只想哄我开心 |
| [08:02] | Now he’s James Bond. This guy. | 还会扮007 了不起 |
| [08:05] | My god, you’re amazing. | 天啊 你太厉害了 |
| [08:06] | How long have you been doing impressions? | 你玩模仿多久了 |
| [08:08] | Well, I started when I was 10 or 11. | 从10岁或是11岁开始吧 |
| [08:11] | No, no, no, I was 10. See, this is easy, | 不不 10岁开始 很好算的 |
| [08:13] | because I was in fifth grade, | 我当时五年级 |
| [08:14] | and when you’re in kindergarten, you’re five. | 上幼儿园时5岁 |
| [08:16] | And then you add five. | 加上5 |
| [08:18] | Yeah, that’s 10. | 没错 10岁 |
| [08:19] | And that’s when I started doing impressions | 我从那时开始模仿 |
| [08:21] | and monster model making. | 以及制作怪兽模型 |
| [08:24] | My best one’s Frankenstein. | 我最好的作品是科学怪人 |
| [08:26] | Hey, Kenny, | 嘿 肯尼 |
| [08:28] | what if Robert De Niro liked to build | 来段喜欢做科学怪人模型的 |
| [08:31] | models of Frankenstein? | 罗伯特·德尼罗吧 |
| [08:33] | Look at me, huh? | 看看我 |
| [08:36] | I am the Frankenstein monster, huh? | 我是科学怪人 |
| [08:38] | I have bolts in my little neck. I am electric and scary. Whoa. | 我的脖子上有螺栓 我带电还很吓人 |
| [08:43] | Wait, wait, wait. | 等等 等等 还有 |
| [08:44] | What if De Niro, Pacino, and Sean Connery | 来个德尼罗 帕西诺 肖恩·康纳利 |
| [08:47] | were all fighting over who got to marry me? | 争着要娶我 |
| [08:49] | Let’s do this the Chicago way. | 我们按芝加哥方式解决 |
| [08:50] | No, we’re gonna do it my way. | 不行 按我的方式 |
| [08:52] | You’re gonna marry me, Joy. Hoo-ah! | 你要嫁给我 乔依 呼哈 |
| [08:55] | Hey, are you gonna marry me? | 你得嫁给我 |
| [08:56] | ‘Cause I’m the only one here, | 因为这里就我一人 |
| [08:57] | so you must be marrying me. | 所以你必须得嫁给我 |
| [09:03] | I was born in a small town in Pennsylvania. | 我出生在宾州的一个小镇 |
| [09:06] | – You’ve probably never heard of it. – Bethlehem? | -你可能都没听说过 -伯利恒吗[耶稣诞生地] |
| [09:11] | Latrobe. | 拉筹伯 |
| [09:13] | – Can I refill your wine? – Yes, please. | -加点红酒好吗 -谢谢 |
| [09:16] | Oh, it seems we’re out of wine. | 看来喝完了 |
| [09:17] | There’s plenty more where that came from. | 想要多少便有多少[耶稣神迹 将水变成酒] |
| [09:21] | Of course there is. | 那是当然了 |
| [09:23] | It is so exciting for a girl like I | 像我这样的女人 |
| [09:26] | to be out with someone in the tire business. | 能约会轮胎大亨真是太兴奋了 |
| [09:29] | Well, it’s exciting for me to be out | 能跟为此兴奋的 |
| [09:31] | with someone who gets how exciting it is. | 女人约会 我也很兴奋 |
| [09:34] | It’s exciting for a waiter like I | 像我这样的侍者 |
| [09:36] | to be delivering your bread. | 能为你们端面包 我也好兴奋哦 |
| [09:41] | Ooh, what a big watch. | 好大的手表啊 |
| [09:44] | You must have very strong wrists. | 你的手腕一定很强硬 |
| [09:48] | You know, actually, there’s a story that goes with this. | 事实上 这块手表可有来历了 |
| [09:50] | This is- it’s a Rolex president. | 这款劳力士属于总统系列 |
| [09:52] | It was a gift from Jack Kennedy. | 是杰克·肯尼迪总统送给我的 |
| [09:54] | Yeah, there was a time we were known | 想当年 我们”双杰克”的名号 |
| [09:56] | as the two Jacks at certain watering holes on the cape. | 在某些酒吧可是一时风光无两 |
| [10:00] | I bet all the girls liked you best. | 我敢肯定你更招姑娘们喜欢 |
| [10:03] | He did have the bad back, though. | 他背疼的毛病确实拉了后腿 |
| [10:06] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [10:10] | So Melanie really never mentioned | 梅兰妮没提到 |
| [10:11] | that Richard and I are conjoined? | 我和理查德是连体 |
| [10:14] | You know, she probably did, and I just forgot. | 她可能提过 我忘了吧 |
| [10:18] | Well, I watch your show, Oh, hi! Ohio! All the time. | 你的节目《噢嗨 俄亥俄》 我每期必看 |
| [10:22] | I love the way you always say exactly what you’re thinking. | 我很欣赏你总是敢于实话实说的风格 |
| [10:25] | Oh, not always. | 也没有”总是”啦 |
| [10:28] | You know, Richard and I have a pretty compelling story. | 理查德和我的事 其实也很有报道性 |
| [10:31] | Oh, really, what is it? | 是吗 说来听听 |
| [10:35] | Oh, yes, of course. | 这个 当然了 |
| [10:37] | I’ve been divorced twice, | 我离过两次婚 |
| [10:39] | no kids. | 没有孩子 |
| [10:41] | Shooting blanks. It’s a sperm thing. | 放空枪 精子的问题 |
| [10:44] | That’s too bad. | 太遗憾了 |
| [10:47] | But you know what I wonder- | 知道我好奇什么吗 |
| [10:49] | How Jerry Seinfeld might feel about having a low sperm count. | 对于精子数量少 宋飞会怎么想 |
| [10:53] | What I want to know is this, | 我想知道的是 |
| [10:54] | who’s actually counting the sperm? | 谁会真的去数精子数 |
| [10:56] | This is not a good job. | 这可不算什么好工作 |
| [10:57] | Your mother can’t brag to her friends about it. | 你老妈可没办法向朋友吹嘘你的职业 |
| [10:59] | “Fellas, have you met my son? He counts sperm. | “各位 这是我儿子 他可是数精子的哦 |
| [11:02] | We’re very proud.” | 我们真替他骄傲” |
| [11:05] | Now do Robin Williams without sperm. | 现在学罗宾·威廉斯放空枪 |
| [11:07] | Oh, my goodness. | 上帝啊 |
| [11:08] | You’re not gonna believe- oh, they’re gone. | 真不敢相信 没了 |
| [11:10] | Help me. Okay. | 救命 好吧 |
| [11:15] | Look, I couldn’t help overhearing you two | 听我说 我无意中听到二位谈话 |
| [11:18] | as I was taking a break with this nice couple | 我正在休息 有幸与这对好人同坐一桌 |
| [11:20] | who obviously belong together, | 非常般配的一对 |
| [11:23] | as opposed to you two, who I would call a bad fit. | 而你们正相反 我称之为”不登对” |
| [11:27] | Aren’t you our waiter? | 你不是侍者吗 |
| [11:29] | I was also a guidance counselor for many years. | 同时我也做过很多年的辅导员 |
| [11:32] | Son, she’s only after you for your impressions. | 孩子 她只是对你的模仿有兴趣 |
| [11:35] | How dare you. | 你也太过分了 |
| [11:37] | Tell him off. As William Shatner. | 叫他少管闲事 来个威廉·夏特纳版本的 |
| [11:40] | As I used to tell my students, | 就像我以前对学生常说的 |
| [11:41] | you got to apply to the school that’s gonna let you in. | 要申请会接收你的学校 |
| [11:45] | But she’s so pretty. | 可她这么漂亮 |
| [11:45] | Oh, she’s a doll. | 非常漂亮 |
| [11:47] | But the girl at the bar isn’t bad either, | 可吧台那边的姑娘也不错啊 |
| [11:49] | and she appears to have a very loose admissions policy. | 而且看起来她的”入学录取”政策很宽松 |
| [11:55] | Wait, you can’t take my date away from me. | 你怎么能把我的对象介绍给别人 |
| [11:57] | Can you honestly say you’re interested in him? | 你能诚实地说 你对他有兴趣吗 |
| [11:59] | Yes, I find him charming and attractive. | 是的 我觉得他很迷人 很有吸引力 |
| [12:03] | When he’s him? | 对真实的他吗 |
| [12:06] | No. | 不 |
| [12:07] | Oh, fine, go. | 好了 走吧 |
| [12:09] | Come on. I’ll introduce you to her. | 来吧 我把你介绍给她 |
| [12:13] | Why must love be so complicated? | 为什么爱情要如此复杂 |
| [12:17] | Why must our planet be filled with | 为什么我们的星球上 |
| [12:19] | beautiful women who exist simply to break our hearts? | 美丽女子的存在 只是为了伤透我们的心 |
| [12:25] | Wait! Wait, now I want you back! | 等等 别走 现在我希望你留下 |
| [12:30] | Well, now I don’t even have a date. | 现在我的约会对象都跑了 |
| [12:32] | The waiter fixed him up with someone else. | 侍者充红娘 把他介绍给别人了 |
| [12:34] | I wish he’d break up my date with Jesus. | 我倒希望他把我和耶稣的约会搅黄了 |
| [12:36] | I’d break up with him myself, | 如果我自己把他甩掉 |
| [12:37] | but he’d just show up three days later. | 恐怕三天后又会卷土重来[耶稣复活] |
| [12:42] | Do we really want to play who has the worst date? | 真的要玩”悲惨对象”大比拼吗 |
| [12:45] | Because I am on a date with conjoined twins. | 我的约会对象可是连体双胞胎 |
| [12:48] | I’ll bet man boobs are looking pretty good to you right now. | 我敢肯定 你现在觉得男人长咪咪也还算不错吧 |
| [12:54] | Look, if I can suck it up with Jesus- | 如果我能忍辱负重”含”泪跟耶稣约会… |
| [12:56] | Oh, god, that just sounds so wrong- | 上帝 说要”含”耶稣真是大不敬 |
| [13:00] | Can’t you just stick it out with Timothy? | 你就跟蒂莫西凑合一下行吗 |
| [13:01] | I am on a date with conjoined twins. | 我在和连体双胞胎约会 |
| [13:03] | But he’s a really nice guy. | 他人真的不错 |
| [13:05] | I am on a date with conjoined twins. | 我在和连体双胞胎约会 |
| [13:08] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [13:09] | But still they’re human beings. | 可他们好歹还是人啊 |
| [13:11] | Are they human beings | 到底算两个人 |
| [13:13] | or human being? | 还是一个人 |
| [13:14] | ‘Cause I really don’t know. | 我真的不知道 |
| [13:18] | My date’s going great. | 我的约会进展不错 |
| [13:21] | He thinks I’m an idiot. | 他以为我是个白痴 |
| [13:24] | I’m going home. | 我回家了 |
| [13:25] | Oh, no, no, wait, wait, wait, no. | 不不 别走 |
| [13:26] | You’re dateless, and I have two dates. | 你约会对象跑了 我手里多出一个 |
| [13:28] | Oh, please, please, come and sit with me. | 求你了 过来和我一起坐吧 |
| [13:30] | You can be the fourth wheel | 我们正好凑成两对 |
| [13:31] | or the third and a half wheel. I just- I really don’t know. | 或是一对半 我不知道怎么说 |
| [13:41] | Since it looks like we’re not going to be having dinner here, | 看来别指望在这里吃上晚饭了 |
| [13:44] | how about we take a drive up to my lake house? | 不如去我的湖畔别墅吧 |
| [13:46] | I’ll have my private chef whip us up a little something special. | 我会叫私家大厨 给我们做点特色菜 |
| [13:50] | Everything you say is so interesting. | 你说什么都好有意思哦 |
| [13:54] | Oh, boy, you guys must be starving. | 老天 你们肯定饿坏了吧 |
| [13:57] | Never mind. Just bring us the check, please. | 不必了 买单吧 |
| [13:59] | We’re going back to my place. | 我们去我家 |
| [14:03] | Might want to fix your hair first. | 建议你先弄好头发再说 |
| [14:06] | – Why, what’s wrong? – Let me put it this way. | -怎么了 -那我就直说吧 |
| [14:08] | The ‘do’s getting a little bit trumpy. | 鸡窝头有点见不得人 |
| [14:17] | Elka, if you’ll excuse me, I have to take care of something. | 爱尔卡 恕我失陪 我处理下私事 |
| [14:21] | Nobody look. Nobody look, please. | 别看头发 都别看 |
| [14:28] | What are you doing? | 你在做什么啊 |
| [14:30] | You know, I’ve seen girls like you playing dumb to get the boy, | 像你这样扮傻钓男生的女生我见多了 |
| [14:34] | and you know what happens? You end up pregnant, | 知道结果会怎样吗 最终被搞大肚子 |
| [14:38] | and there’s no graduation gown in the world can cover it. | 无论多宽大的毕业长袍也遮盖不住 |
| [14:42] | You know, in some ways, | 知道吗 从某种程度上来说 |
| [14:44] | this isn’t any of your business. | 关你屁事啊 |
| [14:48] | Well, in some way, it is. | 从某种程度上来说还真跟我有关 |
| [14:51] | I see a sadness behind your eyes. | 你的眼中隐藏着悲伤 |
| [14:54] | And I know because I see the same thing when I look into a mirror. | 瞒不了我 因为我在镜中会看到同样的悲伤 |
| [14:59] | I lost my wife recently. | 我的妻子最近去世了 |
| [15:01] | That’s why I’m out doing this thing. | 所以我才来当侍者 |
| [15:05] | What did you lose? | 谁离你而去了 |
| [15:07] | I lost my Max. | 我失去了麦克斯 |
| [15:09] | Cancer? | 癌症吗 |
| [15:11] | Worse. | 更惨 |
| [15:12] | Florida. | 佛罗里达州 |
| [15:15] | You know, Max and I met right at this exact spot a year ago. | 一年前 麦克斯和我就是在这里认识的 |
| [15:20] | I know it hurts, but jumping to the next guy | 我知道你很受伤 但随便抓一个填补空虚 |
| [15:23] | isn’t gonna make it any better. | 并不能将伤痛遗忘 |
| [15:25] | Sometimes you got to sit with the pain. | 有时候 需要直面痛苦 |
| [15:29] | So you can never fly first class? | 所以你永远不能坐头等舱吗 |
| [15:33] | No, the arm rests only go up in coach. | 不行 经济舱的座位扶手才能抬上去 |
| [15:37] | Oh, that is so sad. | 太惨了 |
| [15:40] | I love England. | 我喜欢英国 |
| [15:42] | I get to drive there. | 在那里我可以开车 |
| [15:46] | Oh, right. | 是哦 |
| [15:50] | You’re reading Yeats. | 你在看叶芝的作品 |
| [15:52] | “Now that my ladder is gone, | “既然我的梯子已丧失 |
| [15:54] | I must lie down where all ladders start…” | 我只得躺倒在那所有的梯子起始之处” |
| [15:56] | “in the foul rag-and-bone shop of the heart.” | “污秽的心的废品铺” |
| [16:00] | So on Facebook, one page or two? | 你们是共用FB主页 还是一人一个 |
| [16:06] | I’m really enjoying being with you. | 和你在一起很开心 |
| [16:08] | And also with you. | 我也是[上帝与你同在] |
| [16:12] | I mean, I’m enjoying you too. | 我是说 我也很开心 |
| [16:14] | Really? Because you seem a little uncomfortable. | 真的吗 因为你看起来有点不自在 |
| [16:18] | She’s completely freaked out | 她吓得六神无主 |
| [16:19] | because she thinks you look like Jesus. | 因为她觉得你长的像耶稣 |
| [16:23] | Yeah. Well, there is that. | 没错 是有这个事 |
| [16:26] | I don’t know what that bumbling waiter was talking about. | 真不知那个语无伦次的侍者什么眼神儿 |
| [16:29] | My hair is perfect. | 我的发型无懈可击 |
| [16:33] | Well, like they say in the rubber business, | 就像轮胎业常说的 |
| [16:35] | let’s bounce. | 我们撤吧[弹/性交] |
| [16:37] | I don’t think so. | 我决定不去了 |
| [16:39] | Why not? | 为什么呀 |
| [16:40] | I thought we were having a great time. | 我觉得我们处得挺开心的 |
| [16:42] | Besides, I have never enjoyed chatting with a woman more. | 而且 和女人聊天我还从未如此开心过 |
| [16:46] | Tell you what, | 这样吧 |
| [16:47] | I’ll go with you | 只要你说出 |
| [16:48] | if you can tell me one thing you learned about me tonight. | 一件今晚了解到的我的事情 我就跟你走 |
| [16:53] | Well… | 这个 |
| [16:56] | When… | 那个 |
| [17:00] | Exactly. | 我就知道 |
| [17:02] | I’m sorry if I led you on. | 如果我给了你错误的暗示 抱歉 |
| [17:05] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [17:06] | Good night, Jack. | 再见了 杰克 |
| [17:08] | Good night, Elka. | 再见 爱尔卡 |
| [17:13] | It wasn’t the hair, was it? | 不是因为我的头发吧 |
| [17:16] | ‘Cause if it was, it would-it would haunt me. | 如果真是 这阴影算是挥不去了 |
| [17:26] | Why do men like dumb women? | 为什么男人喜欢傻妞 |
| [17:29] | Well, not all men. I like smart women. | 并非所有男人 我就喜欢聪明女性 |
| [17:33] | Maybe you and I… | 也许我们… |
| [17:35] | Oh, well, now you’re talking. | 终于开窍啦 |
| [17:40] | Let me just add a couple of zeros to my tip | 等我在小费后面加几个零 |
| [17:43] | and dinner’s on me. | 晚餐我请 |
| [17:49] | Well, when it comes to French movies, | 看法国电影时 |
| [17:51] | I go for the pretentiousness but I stay for the sex. | 我冲着装腔作势去 为了床戏留下 |
| [17:54] | Hey, there’s a Truffaut double feature at the Art House around the corner. | 街角的戏院在放法国电影大师特吕弗的电影 |
| [17:57] | Maybe we should go sometime. | 改天一起去看吧 |
| [17:59] | Why don’t the two of us sneak out now? | 不如我们现在就开溜吧 |
| [18:06] | Have you ever thought about separating? | 你们有想过分开吗 |
| [18:08] | We looked into it. | 我们研究过 |
| [18:09] | But it’s just too risky medically. | 手术风险太大 |
| [18:12] | Is this a deal breaker for you? | 你会因为这个跟我断绝交往吗 |
| [18:14] | To be honest, I’m not sure. | 说实话 我也不知道 |
| [18:16] | Hey, sorry to interrupt. But our dates are over, | 打扰下 我们的约会结束了 |
| [18:17] | so we were just gonna head on home. | 所以我们打算回家 |
| [18:19] | You know what, it’s getting late, | 现在的确不早了 |
| [18:20] | so maybe we should say good night as well. | 我们也互道晚安吧 |
| [18:23] | No. You go ahead. | 不 你先走吧 |
| [18:25] | I’m staying. | 我留下 |
| [18:26] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [18:29] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [18:30] | I’m so quick to reject any man | 以往我对男人否决得太快 |
| [18:32] | who doesn’t fall into some narrow view of what I think is the right guy. | 我总以自己狭隘的标准去评判男人的好坏 |
| [18:36] | But not this time. | 这次不会了 |
| [18:37] | I see goodness and honesty when I look into your eyes. | 在你的眼中 我看到了善良与诚实 |
| [18:40] | Richard, you lying, cheating rat bastard! | 理查德 你这个满口谎话的出轨狗杂种 |
| [18:44] | Get your hands off my husband. | 不准碰我的老公 |
| [18:47] | You’re married, and you were hitting on me? | 你都结婚了 还勾搭我 |
| [18:49] | I’m conjoined. I’m not dead. | 连体的男人也是正常男人好吧 |
| [18:55] | So it didn’t work out with that other woman either? | 和那个女人进展也不顺利吗 |
| [18:58] | I did not have sexual feelings for that woman. | 我对那个女人没什么性趣 |
| [19:03] | How would George Bush feel about that woman? | 布什总统对那个女人有何感想 |
| [19:05] | Well, I decided she wasn’t right for me, | 我决定那个女人不适合我 |
| [19:07] | ’cause I’m the decider. | 万事我都要先做决定 |
| [19:08] | And these are the decider house rules. | 这是决策者的纲领 |
| [19:14] | He just picked up. Do it. | 他接电话了 秀绝活吧 |
| [19:17] | Max, Sean Connery here. | 麦克斯 我是肖恩·康纳利 |
| [19:19] | I just wanted you to know that I’m in bed | 我只想告诉你 我和你那 |
| [19:21] | with your beautiful and smart ex-girlfriend Elka. | 美丽聪明的前女友爱尔卡正同床共枕 |
| [19:24] | And together we’re laughing about your clumsy love-making. | 我们一起笑话你那笨手笨脚的床技 |