| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience. | 《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的 |
| [00:05] | Do you think I should put on another sweater? | 你觉得我应该再穿上一件毛衣吗 |
| [00:07] | – I’m wearing five. – Five? | -我穿了五件 -五件 |
| [00:10] | I’m like a Russian doll up in here. | 我现在就跟个俄罗斯套娃似的 |
| [00:13] | I have got a fantastic announcement. | 我有件超赞的事要宣布 |
| [00:16] | Now that I’m a gay celebrity, | 我已跻身女同名流 |
| [00:18] | I’ve been invited to give a talk | 因此获邀在仅限女同参加的 |
| [00:20] | on an exclusive lesbian cruise to the Caribbean. | 加勒比海邮轮之旅上发表演讲 |
| [00:24] | – How’s the food? – Well, how would I know? | -邮轮的伙食怎么样 -我怎么会知道 |
| [00:26] | I don’t even know how the food is here. | 我都不知道我们这里吃的如何 |
| [00:29] | Are you one of those people | 你也是那种上了邮轮 |
| [00:30] | that goes crazy for cruise food? | 就只顾吃的类型吗 |
| [00:31] | I’ve been on six cruises. Never seen the ocean. | 六次邮轮之旅 我连海长什么样都没见 |
| [00:37] | Oh, who cares about food? | 谁在乎有什么吃的呀 |
| [00:39] | The most powerful gay women in Hollywood will be | 好莱坞最有权势的女同们会听我 |
| [00:42] | listening as I share my inspiring story | 讲述我那令人热血沸腾的故事 |
| [00:45] | of falling in love and marrying Joy. | 坠入爱河 娶了乔依 |
| [00:50] | But it’s all a lie. | 但那纯属一派谎言 |
| [00:51] | You know, a story doesn’t have to be true to be inspiring. | 故事不用是真的也可以感人励志 |
| [00:54] | I mean, Titanic proved that. | 《泰坦尼克号》不就是最好的证明吗 |
| [00:58] | My car got stuck in a snowdrift. | 我的车陷进雪堆里了 |
| [01:00] | So? There’s always some guy that’ll help us get it out. | 那又如何 肯定会有英雄飞身来救美 |
| [01:03] | And there was. And he was cute. | 的确有 他还挺帅的 |
| [01:05] | And he asked me out. | 他还约我出去 |
| [01:06] | But I had to say no because I’m married to you. | 但我不得不拒绝他 因为我嫁给了你 |
| [01:09] | I want a divorce. | 我要离婚 |
| [01:11] | And you shall have one after I have squeezed every last drop | 会离的 不过离之前我要榨光 |
| [01:15] | of advantage out of this marriage. | 这段婚姻所有的油水 |
| [01:17] | And to say thank you, | 为了对你表示感谢 |
| [01:19] | I am taking you on a Caribbean cruise. | 我会带你乘坐加勒比海豪华邮轮 |
| [01:24] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [01:25] | ’cause I’ve heard cruises are great places to meet men. | 我听说邮轮是认识男人的好地方 |
| [01:30] | They often are, | 通常是这样 |
| [01:32] | but this one is gay, | 但这次是女同专场 |
| [01:33] | and they want us to talk about how happy we are. | 她们想听听我们的幸福生活故事 |
| [01:37] | No, no. We agreed no more functions. | 不行 我们说好不搞带有目的的活动了 |
| [01:40] | This is a function. | 这就是带有目的的活动 |
| [01:41] | A floating function for which there is no escape. | 并且是在船上 无处可逃 |
| [01:44] | Okay, I can’t believe that I’m saying this, | 好吧 真不敢相信我要说这个 |
| [01:47] | but… | 但是 |
| [01:49] | Hey, what if I gave you my… | 如果我给你我的… |
| [01:53] | Doucette Freres handbag? | “杜塞特兄弟”手袋呢 |
| [01:56] | The Doucette Freres? Really? | “杜塞特兄弟”手袋 真的吗 |
| [01:59] | What is it? | 什么东西啊 |
| [02:00] | Only the greatest handbag that civilization has ever produced. | 人类文明制造出的最棒的手袋 |
| [02:03] | Oh, leather as soft as a baby’s bottom | 真皮如婴儿屁屁一样柔软 |
| [02:06] | and twice as useful. | 而效用却是其两倍 |
| [02:10] | Crafted in a small town of Saint-Amedee | 是由圣阿莫迪的小镇上 |
| [02:12] | by a single family with tiny hands. | 一户小手人家手工制造的 |
| [02:15] | The result of mercury poisoning in the local river. | 手超小是当地河流汞污染造成的 |
| [02:18] | When they cleaned up that river, | 当河流被治理后 |
| [02:20] | that was the end of Doucette Freres. | “杜塞特兄弟”手袋便走到了尽头 |
| [02:24] | Okay. I’ll do it. | 好吧 我去 |
| [02:26] | For the bag. | 看在手袋的份上 |
| [02:27] | – All right. – Great. Welcome aboard. | -好的 -太好了 欢迎入伙 |
| [02:29] | Well, who said you could go? | 谁说你可以去的 |
| [02:31] | Well, I could stay home, call the press and out you. | 我倒是也可以待在家 电联媒体揭穿你 |
| [02:36] | Are you willing to be gay? | 你愿意做女同吗 |
| [02:38] | I’m gay for heat. | 给我温暖我立马变弯 |
| [02:57] | Oh, look. They highlighted my talk. | 看 她们标出了我的演讲 |
| [03:00] | “A Journey to Joy: | 走向快乐[乔依]的旅程 |
| [03:02] | my sexual awakening at the hands of a middle-aged lesbian.” | 中年蕾丝手 助我性觉醒 |
| [03:07] | Oh, god. I need to see the bag again. | 天啊 我得再看看那手袋 |
| [03:12] | No, no. Mustn’t expose it to the sea air. | 不行 绝不能暴露在海风中 |
| [03:16] | I’ve had two meals already. We haven’t even left port. | 我们还没离港呢 我就已经吃两顿了 |
| [03:21] | And I had port. | 我有喝葡萄酒哦[港口] |
| [03:24] | Is this a muumuu? | 这是穆穆袍吗 |
| [03:26] | It’s a cruise muumuu. | 邮轮穆穆袍 |
| [03:27] | The most forgiving of all the muumuus. | 最宽大的穆穆袍 |
| [03:31] | It’s huge. | 真是够大的 |
| [03:32] | Well, now. | 现在大 |
| [03:33] | In six days, it’ll be skintight. | 六天之后 绝对变成紧身衣 |
| [03:39] | Hello, ladies. Welcome aboard. | 女士们 大家好 欢迎登船 |
| [03:42] | I’m Captain Lebeau. | 我是勒邦船长 |
| [03:44] | And you must be Victoria Chase. | 你一定就是维多利亚·蔡斯 |
| [03:45] | Indeed I am. | 正是本尊 |
| [03:47] | – And your friends? – Who? | -你的朋友吗 -谁 |
| [03:52] | Oh, uh, yes. This is, uh, Melanie, Elka, | 哦 是的 这是梅兰妮 爱尔卡 |
| [03:56] | and of course, my lovely wife, Joy. | 当然还有我可爱的妻子 乔依 |
| [04:00] | Enchante. | 认识你很荣幸 |
| [04:01] | Aren’t you a charming, charming, charming man. | 你还真是各种有魅力啊 |
| [04:06] | I try. I’ll see all of you later. | 过奖了 我们稍后见 |
| [04:09] | – Yes, yes. – I certainly hope so. | -好的 -那样最好了 |
| [04:11] | I’ll be in touch. | 常联系啊 |
| [04:14] | Way to be gay, guys. | 装女同装得真”像”啊 |
| [04:18] | All right, well, if we can’t have a man, | 好吧 我们不能泡男人 |
| [04:19] | we can at least have manhattans. | 至少能喝杯曼哈顿鸡尾酒吧 |
| [04:20] | Go fetch us some drinks. | 帮我们拿点酒来吧 |
| [04:26] | Melanie? | 梅兰妮 |
| [04:29] | Caroline. | 卡罗琳 |
| [04:30] | Oh, my god. That’s my sister. | 老天 我姐姐也来了 |
| [04:35] | I can’t believe this. | 我真不敢相信 |
| [04:37] | I didn’t even know you were gay. | 我都不知道你是同性恋 |
| [04:39] | This is blowing my mind. We’re both gay. | 真太让我震惊了 我们都是同性恋 |
| [04:44] | Yeah. Right. | 是啊 没错 |
| [04:45] | Because why else would we be on a gay cruise? | 不然我们怎么会在女同邮轮上 |
| [04:48] | Caroline, baby. Mommy’s thirsty. | 卡罗琳 宝贝 妈咪渴了 |
| [04:53] | Melanie, this is my girlfriend, Nan. | 梅兰妮 这是我女朋友阿南 |
| [04:55] | Nan, this is my sister, Melanie. She’s gay. | 阿南 这是我姐姐梅兰妮 她是同性恋 |
| [04:57] | Yeah, and she’s gay. | 是啊 她也是 |
| [04:59] | If she isn’t, | 如果她不是 |
| [05:00] | I owe her an apology for last night. | 我就得为昨晚的所作所为道歉了 |
| [05:04] | Melanie, we have so much to talk about. | 梅兰妮 我们一定要好好聊聊 |
| [05:07] | So much time to make up for. | 弥补一下过去错过的时光 |
| [05:09] | We finally have something in common. | 我们之间终于有共同点了 |
| [05:11] | This changes everything! | 这真是改变了一切 |
| [05:19] | Captain Lebeau. | 勒邦船长 |
| [05:20] | What an unexpected pleasure. | 真是个意外的惊喜呀 |
| [05:22] | I try. | 我尽力吧 |
| [05:25] | I want to invite both of you to dine with me | 我想邀请二位今晚与我 |
| [05:27] | at the captain’s table tonight. | 在船长专座进餐 |
| [05:28] | Of course. What time? | 当然好 什么时候 |
| [05:29] | 2100 hours? | 2100小时好吗 |
| [05:31] | From now? | 从现在开始算吗 |
| [05:33] | No. | 不是 |
| [05:37] | No. 2100 is military time. | 不 2100是军用时间[9点] |
| [05:39] | It is the same as two bells on the first watch. | 跟首班中响两遍船钟是一个道理 |
| [05:42] | Well, that clarifies it handsomely. | 这解释…可真”清楚”啊 |
| [05:45] | Victoria, I need to talk to you. | 维多利亚 我得跟你谈谈 |
| [05:47] | – What, now? – Yes, please. | -必须现在吗 -是的 拜托 |
| [05:48] | Oh, all right. I–I’ll be right back. | 好的 我去去就回 |
| [05:55] | So, it is just us. | 只剩我俩了 |
| [05:57] | Oui. | 是啊[法语] |
| [05:59] | Sorry. Just–just we. | 抱歉 是只剩我们了 |
| [06:07] | Captain, if I told you something personal, | 船长 如果我告诉你一件私事 |
| [06:09] | in strictest confidence– | 而且是高度机密 |
| [06:11] | It would be protected by Captain-Passenger privilege. | 我会遵守船长乘客保密协议 |
| [06:14] | I’ve heard of it. | 这个我听说过 |
| [06:17] | The thing is… | 事实上… |
| [06:19] | I’m not gay. | 我不是女同 |
| [06:22] | I sensed that. | 我感觉出来了 |
| [06:25] | I’m trying to make you sense that. | 我一直努力让你感觉出来 |
| [06:28] | You’ve done it successfully. | 那么你成功地做到了 |
| [06:31] | There’s something else I’d like to do successfully. | 我还想成功地做到其他事情 |
| [06:36] | But not now. | 但不是现在 |
| [06:41] | Come back later, when Victoria is getting a massage. | 等维多利亚去按摩时你再过来吧 |
| [06:43] | So neither of you knew the other one was gay? | 这么说 你们两个谁都不知道对方是同性恋 |
| [06:46] | I’m not gay. | 我不是同性恋 |
| [06:49] | But I don’t want to blow this chance to connect with her, | 但我不想搞砸这个跟她增进感情的好机会 |
| [06:51] | and I’m afraid | 而且我担心 |
| [06:52] | if she finds out it’s a lie, she’ll hate me. | 如果她知道我说谎 她会恨我的 |
| [06:54] | Well, for now, build trust with your sister, | 目前这种情况 你得先取信于她 |
| [06:57] | get her to like you, and then tell her it was all a lie. | 让她喜欢你 然后再告诉她这是个谎言 |
| [07:01] | What should I say? | 我该怎么说 |
| [07:02] | I mean, what if she asks if I have a girlfriend? | 万一她问我有没有女朋友怎么办 |
| [07:03] | Well, tell her you do. | 那就告诉她你有呗 |
| [07:04] | Well, who would I get to pretend to be my girlfriend? | 叫我上哪儿找个冒牌女朋友 |
| [07:17] | You’re not really my type. | 你这类型真不是我的菜 |
| [07:25] | Victoria, I just want to say good-bye. | 维多利亚 我是来跟你道别的 |
| [07:27] | I will see you tonight at dinner. | 晚餐时见 |
| [07:28] | I’ll see you out. | 我送你出去 |
| [07:31] | Uh, Joy? Melanie needs some gay advice. | 乔依 梅兰妮需要些女同建议 |
| [07:35] | Well, why can’t you help her? | 你就不能帮她吗 |
| [07:36] | Well, you’re a little gayer than I am. | 你比我弯得更厉害些啦 |
| [07:39] | She really, really needs you. | 她真的很需要你 |
| [07:42] | I’ll see you later, Captain. | 待会儿见了 船长 |
| [07:47] | So, it is just we. | 只剩我们了 |
| [07:51] | I sense something about you. | 我对你有种感觉 |
| [07:54] | You’re not gay. | 你不是女同 |
| [07:55] | How dare you! | 胆大包天 |
| [08:00] | Don’t worry, little bird. Your secret is safe. | 别担心 小可爱 你的秘密很安全 |
| [08:03] | It would be protected by captain-passenger privilege. | 我会遵守船长乘客保密协议 |
| [08:06] | I’ve heard of it. | 这个我听说过 |
| [08:09] | Perhaps you swing both ways. | 也许你男女通吃呢 |
| [08:11] | Perhaps I swing one way and then toward you. | 也许我只吃一边然后奔你来了 |
| [08:17] | Perhaps, you would like to swing by my cabin later. | 也许你愿意待会奔我的船舱去 |
| [08:20] | Perhaps I’d like that very much. | 也许我非常乐意 |
| [08:25] | Shall we say 1700 hours? | 1700小时见 好吗[5点] |
| [08:28] | 1700 hours. | 就1700小时 |
| [08:33] | When is that? | 他娘的那到底是几点啊 |
| [08:39] | Can’t believe the two of you grew up in the same house, | 真不敢相信 一个家里长大的姐妹 |
| [08:41] | and you didn’t know the other one was gay. | 居然不知道对方是同性恋 |
| [08:44] | I had no clue. | 我完全没发觉 |
| [08:45] | I had a few. | 我倒有点发觉 |
| [08:49] | You did? | 你有吗 |
| [08:50] | Your dates–they were always so uncomfortable around you. | 你的小男友们 他们在你身边总是很不自然 |
| [08:52] | No, they weren’t. | 哪有 才不是 |
| [08:54] | I was really good at passing for straight. | 别人都把我当异性恋呢 |
| [08:56] | And didn’t you play trumpet in marching band? | 你在游行乐队里是吹喇叭的对吧 |
| [08:59] | Doesn’t mean anything. | 这不代表什么 |
| [09:00] | Yeah, right. | 是嘛 才怪呢 |
| [09:03] | I can’t wait to meet your girlfriend. | 我迫不及待想见见你女朋友了 |
| [09:08] | Hi, lover. | 在这儿呢 亲爱的 |
| [09:11] | Hi…lover. | 你好 亲爱的 |
| [09:15] | Elka, this is my sister, Caroline, | 爱尔卡 这是我妹妹 卡罗琳 |
| [09:17] | and her girlfriend, Nan. | 这是她女朋友 阿南 |
| [09:18] | And this is my Elka. | 这是我的…亲亲爱尔卡 |
| [09:23] | Wow. I have so many questions. | 哇 我有好多问题想问 |
| [09:29] | I’m rich. | 姐有钱 |
| [09:33] | No more questions. | 好吧 没问题了 |
| [09:36] | Plus, the sex is amazing. | 还有 姐床技超好 |
| [09:45] | Attention. | 各位游客注意 |
| [09:46] | In ten minutes, we’ll be closing the shrimp bar. | 鲜虾自助餐将于十分钟后结束 |
| [09:49] | Oh, damn, baby. I gotta hit that. | 坏了 宝贝儿 我得赶紧去捞点 |
| [09:57] | Yeah, well, okay, you know, she’s older, | 好吧 没错 她是年长了点 |
| [09:59] | but it’s kind of like a may-december sort of thing. | 我们之间应该算忘年恋吧 |
| [10:02] | More like, may-may the following year. | 还忘年呢 差辈儿吧 |
| [10:06] | But they’re happy, and that’s what matters. | 但她们在一起很幸福 这才是最重要的 |
| [10:08] | Or maybe what matters is that our glasses are empty. | 现在重要的是 我们的酒杯空了 |
| [10:12] | Okay, I’ll get us another round. | 好啦 我去续杯吧 |
| [10:16] | I say we get a little plastered, | 我提议我们喝个烂醉 |
| [10:18] | and drunk dial mom and dad and tell them | 趁酒意向爸爸妈妈坦白 |
| [10:20] | both their daughters are gay. Think about it. | 两个女儿齐出柜 考虑考虑 |
| [10:27] | So are you really happy with Elka? | 你和爱尔卡在一起真的幸福吗 |
| [10:31] | Oh, yeah, for sure. | 是的 那是当然 |
| [10:33] | ‘Cause after all those years of settling for a man, | 你在一棵树上吊了这么多年 |
| [10:35] | you shouldn’t have to settle again. | 是时候在森林里转转了 |
| [10:37] | Well, you know, I wouldn’t call it “Settling.” | 我并不觉得现在是”吊一棵树上” |
| [10:40] | So pretty. | 绝代佳人 |
| [10:43] | If you were my woman, | 你若是我的女人 |
| [10:44] | I’d never leave you for a shrimp bar. | 我绝不会为了小虾小蟹丢下你 |
| [10:50] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:54] | Ahoy, captain. | 啊嗬喂 船长 |
| [10:57] | Oh, thank god you’re here. | 幸好你在这 |
| [10:58] | Caroline’s girlfriend just hit on me. | 卡罗琳的女友刚才调戏我 |
| [11:00] | Hit on me– I need a plan. | 调戏我呀 我得想个招 |
| [11:01] | Just tell your sister the truth. | 跟你妹妹说实话就好 |
| [11:03] | She’ll understand. Now off you go. | 她会理解的 你该走啦 |
| [11:05] | I know, but what if she hates me for pretending to be gay? | 如果她因为我装女同而记恨我呢 |
| [11:07] | I don’t want it to separate us again. | 我不想因此再与她疏远 |
| [11:08] | That’s why you have to tell her now | 所以你现在就要向她澄清 |
| [11:10] | before it gets out of hand. | 免得刹不住车 |
| [11:12] | Good? Good. | 好吗 好的 |
| [11:13] | Okay, thanks, Joy. You’re a really good friend. | 谢谢你 乔依 你真够朋友 |
| [11:14] | Yeah, yeah. | 是啦是啦 |
| [11:23] | Ahoy, captain. | 啊嗬喂 船长 |
| [11:30] | Oh, your beard is so rough. | 如此粗犷的胡须 |
| [11:32] | – Should I shave? – No. | -我该剃掉吗 -不用 |
| [11:33] | I like it rough. | 我就喜欢粗犷风 |
| [11:37] | Joy, are you in there? I forgot my key. | 乔依 你在里面吗 我忘带钥匙了 |
| [11:39] | Damn! In there, quick. | 该死 躲在那 快 |
| [11:48] | Here you are. | 给你 |
| [11:49] | Now off you go before you miss your massage. | 快去吧 免得错过按摩时间 |
| [11:51] | I think I did miss it. | 估计我已经错过了 |
| [11:53] | I just can’t figure out this whole nautical time thing. | 真搞不懂航海时间是个什么情况 |
| [11:56] | And then Elka ran into me | 然后爱尔卡撞上我 |
| [11:57] | and spilled chocolate ranch dressing all over my blouse. | 洒了我一身巧克力沙拉酱 |
| [12:00] | – So now I have to rinse it out. – No! | -我现在得擦掉 -不 |
| [12:10] | Everything rinsing properly? | 擦得如何呀 |
| [12:12] | Yeah, I’ll be out in a second. | 快了 我马上就出来 |
| [12:18] | What are you doing here? Are– | 你在这儿做什么 你… |
| [12:22] | I couldn’t wait to see you so I snuck in. | 我等不及要见你 便偷溜进来 |
| [12:23] | When I heard your wife coming, I hid. | 你妻子进来后 我就躲在这了 |
| [12:25] | So you broke into my cabin, | 这么说你闯入我的客舱 |
| [12:27] | and now you’re hiding in my shower? | 现在又躲在我的喷头下 |
| [12:29] | In a less sexy man, that would be creepy. | 换个不那么性感的人 就太可怕了 |
| [12:32] | You have to get rid of your wife. | 你得甩掉你妻子 |
| [12:34] | I’ll meet you later. | 我们待会见 |
| [12:35] | Fine. What time? | 好的 几点呢 |
| [12:37] | – Six bells on the dog watch? – When? | -傍晚班响六次船钟时 -什么时候 |
| [12:38] | – 1900 hours? – What? | -1900小时[7点] -什么 |
| [12:40] | Just find me later. I’ll make time. | 待会来找我 我会腾出时间的 |
| [12:57] | There. That felt good. | 好了 感觉好多了 |
| [12:59] | You know, to get the stain out. | 你懂的 去污的感觉真棒 |
| [13:03] | Now to your massage? | 现在你该去按摩了吧 |
| [13:04] | Oh, I have an idea. | 我有个主意 |
| [13:05] | Um, why don’t you take mine? | 你替我去按摩吧 |
| [13:07] | Oh, I’m good. | 我不用了 |
| [13:09] | Maybe you could do another activity? | 或者你找些其他活动 |
| [13:11] | Pottery might take a long time. | 陶艺应该够你消遣一阵子 |
| [13:13] | Or, or you could do an activity. | 或者 你可以找些活动 |
| [13:15] | Or we could do one together. | 或者我们一起去 |
| [13:16] | Oh, great. | 真棒 |
| [13:17] | Let’s both go do some gay activity together. | 我们一起找点女同活动来做 |
| [13:24] | Oh, uh, hold the elevator. | 拦住电梯 |
| [13:26] | I just want to get my earrings. | 我找下耳环 |
| [13:32] | Did she see you? | 她看到你了吗 |
| [13:33] | Of course not. | 当然没有 |
| [13:34] | Let’s meet again, later. | 我们待会见 |
| [13:35] | Eight bells on the dog watch? | 傍晚班响八次船钟时 |
| [13:37] | Is that at the front of the boat? | 那玩意儿是在船头吗 |
| [13:38] | Just find me. | 找到我就对了 |
| [13:53] | Oh, captain Lebeau. | 勒邦船长 |
| [13:54] | What are you doing here? | 你在这里干什么 |
| [13:56] | Oh, executive captain turn-down service. | 执行船长客房服务 |
| [14:00] | I’ve heard of it. | 这个我听说过 |
| [14:04] | Do you think, | 你觉得 |
| [14:05] | maybe, you could do something like that for me? | 或许 能为我提供些服务吗 |
| [14:11] | Um, I’m so sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [14:13] | I really have to draw the line somewhere. | 我不能放任自己 风流也要有个底限 |
| [14:22] | You’re straight. | 你是直女 |
| [14:27] | I can explain. | 我可以解释 |
| [14:28] | What’s to explain? You’re not gay. | 有什么好解释的 你不是同性恋 |
| [14:31] | Can’t believe you would lie to me like that. | 真不敢相信你竟然这样骗我 |
| [14:32] | No, no. Don’t go. | 不 别走 |
| [14:33] | I–I had to lie to get on this cruise, | 我得撒谎才能参加这次邮轮之旅 |
| [14:35] | but then, when I saw how happy you were, I kept it up, | 然后我看到你如此开心 便决定隐瞒事实 |
| [14:38] | because, well, you were so happy. | 因为 你是那么开心 |
| [14:41] | Because I thought we finally had something in common. | 因为我以为我们终究还是有共同点的 |
| [14:44] | We do! We grew up in the same house. | 我们有的 我们在一个屋檐下长大 |
| [14:46] | We had the same crazy parents. | 共享一对疯狂父母 |
| [14:48] | I always wanted to be closer to you, | 我一直想跟你亲近 |
| [14:49] | but you’d never let me in. | 但你从不让我靠近 |
| [14:52] | Why didn’t you tell me you were gay? | 你为什么不告诉我你是女同 |
| [14:53] | Oh, you wouldn’t understand. | 你不会懂的 |
| [14:55] | Try me. | 试一试 |
| [15:01] | When you’re a kid, and you realize you’re gay, | 孩童时代 当你意识到自己是同性恋时 |
| [15:03] | you automatically have a secret, | 性向自然就成了秘密 |
| [15:04] | and that makes you feel different from everyone else. | 顿时让自己觉得与众不同 |
| [15:10] | And it’s even harder when your sister is “Little miss angel.” | 家里有个”阳光小天使”姐姐 就更难坦白了 |
| [15:14] | I did not ask mom to make me that mug. | 不是我要求妈妈给我做那个杯子的 |
| [15:20] | My mug said, “Would it kill you to wear a dress?” | 我的杯子上写着”穿次裙子会死哇” |
| [15:27] | I’m sorry. It must have been really hard. | 抱歉 你那时候一定很不好过 |
| [15:29] | Yeah, it was. And it would have been really nice | 是啊 如果当时能告诉你的话 |
| [15:31] | to be able to talk to you about it. | 肯定会好受很多 |
| [15:32] | And you could have. | 你可以告诉我啊 |
| [15:34] | But I didn’t know that. | 我当时怎么知道呢 |
| [15:35] | And maybe I was scared. | 可能是因为害怕吧 |
| [15:38] | Scared of what? | 怕什么呀 |
| [15:39] | Scared you’d think I was weird. | 怕你会觉得我是个怪胎 |
| [15:41] | Scared that you’d tell mom and dad. | 怕你会告诉爸妈 |
| [15:42] | You know they would freak. | 他们知道了肯定会抓狂 |
| [15:44] | So I just put up this wall, | 所以我就筑起了心墙 |
| [15:46] | and then I got used to living behind the wall. | 慢慢习惯了生活在自己的堡垒里 |
| [15:51] | Well, for the record, | 我想让你知道 |
| [15:53] | I wouldn’t have thought you were weird. | 我绝不会认为你是怪胎 |
| [15:55] | And I never would have told mom and dad. | 我也绝不会告诉爸妈 |
| [15:58] | Well, unless mom gave me that look, | 不过如果妈以眼神胁迫 |
| [15:59] | and I would have spilled everything. | 我很可能就和盘托出了 |
| [16:02] | You are a spiller. | 你嘴的确不严 |
| [16:05] | And then I wouldn’t have been | 如果被你告了密 |
| [16:06] | able to have sleepovers with my girlfriends. | 那我就没机会在”闺蜜”家过夜了 |
| [16:14] | – Julie Barnett? – Oh, yeah. | -你是说朱莉·巴尼特吗 -就是她 |
| [16:16] | You scored a cheerleader! | 你竟然上了一个拉拉队员 |
| [16:22] | I always wanted this. | 我一直希望我们能像这样 |
| [16:24] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [16:26] | So what do you say? | 你觉得怎么样 |
| [16:28] | New beginnings? | 尽弃前嫌 从头来过 |
| [16:29] | Sure. | 好啊 |
| [16:32] | So what do you think of Nan? | 那你觉得阿南怎么样 |
| [16:34] | Oh, yeah. She’s good, she’s great. | 她不错啊 人很好 |
| [16:36] | Super fun. | 超搞笑 |
| [16:37] | ’cause I’m thinking of breaking up with her. | 我正考虑跟她分手 |
| [16:38] | Dump her. Dump her now. | 甩了她 麻溜儿甩了她 |
| [16:43] | So how did Nan take it? | 阿南什么反应 |
| [16:45] | Well, she’s mad at me, but it’s really weird. | 她很生我的气 但奇怪的是 |
| [16:48] | She kept saying how she hoped | 她不停地跟我说 |
| [16:50] | the two of you could still be friends. | 希望能继续和你做朋友 |
| [16:58] | Ladies and ladies, take your seats. | 女士们 没有先生们 请就座 |
| [17:00] | Victoria Chase’s talk, | 下面请听维多利亚·蔡斯的演讲 |
| [17:02] | “A Journey to Joy: | 走向快乐[乔依]的旅程 |
| [17:03] | My Sexual Awakening at the Hands of a Middle-Aged Lesbian.” | 中年蕾丝手 助我性觉醒 |
| [17:08] | Doucette Freres, Doucette Freres, Doucette Freres. | 一切为了”杜塞特兄弟”手袋 忍忍忍 |
| [17:10] | Joy, what’s wrong with your face? | 乔依 你的脸怎么了 |
| [17:12] | It’s all red. | 跟猴屁股似的 |
| [17:13] | No, it isn’t! Is it? | 不可能 真的吗 |
| [17:14] | It looks scoured. | 锃光瓦亮的 |
| [17:16] | Is that beard burn? | 是被胡茬扎的吗 |
| [17:19] | Joy, got a little captain in you? | 乔依 你被船长光临了吧 |
| [17:23] | What? He turned me down! | 什么 他拒绝了我 |
| [17:26] | Is it really that bad? I tried to cover it up. | 真有那么严重吗 我已经用妆遮过了 |
| [17:28] | I better go and put on some more makeup. | 我还是再去多扑点粉吧 |
| [17:34] | Victoria, we’re supposed to be out there. | 维多利亚 我们应该出场了 |
| [17:36] | Oh, I was just applying a little more makeup. | 我想再略施粉黛 |
| [17:39] | Why are you covering your chin? | 你为什么要遮着下巴 |
| [17:40] | I’m… thinking deep thoughts. | 我在沉思 |
| [17:43] | Why are you covering your chin? | 你又为什么要遮着下巴 |
| [17:45] | I was thinking, “Why is she thinking deep thoughts?” | 我在沉思 “她为什么在沉思” |
| [17:48] | You’ve been with the captain. | 你和船长搞上了 |
| [17:49] | You’ve been with the captain. | 你也和船长搞上了 |
| [17:50] | I couldn’t take it anymore. What’s your excuse? | 我欲浪翻腾 把持不住了 你又是因为什么 |
| [17:52] | Oh, he tricked me with his good looks. | 他用美貌蛊惑了我 |
| [17:53] | I can’t believe he played us both. | 真想不到他玩一龙双凤 |
| [17:55] | Oh, I can’t believe it, either. | 我也不敢相信 |
| [17:56] | You know, if I were you, | 如果我是你 |
| [17:57] | I would just avoid him for the rest of the trip. | 剩下的航程 我会尽量躲着他 |
| [17:59] | You just want him for yourself! | 你是想把他据为己有吧 |
| [18:01] | Yeah, well, I need him more than you do. | 我比你更需要雄性荷尔蒙的滋养 |
| [18:02] | The strain of pretending to be a celebrity lesbian is exhausting. | 名人戴着女同的面具 压力山大啊 |
| [18:09] | My phone, my phone! | 电话 我的电话呢 |
| [18:11] | Especially being the femme one. | 尤其是作为女性的一方 |
| [18:12] | But I’m the femme one. | 我才是女性的一方 |
| [18:14] | Oh, please. With those hands? | 拜托 就凭你这双大手 |
| [18:15] | These hands were the ones that opened you up sexually, | 根据你那尚未发表 欺骗群众的演讲 |
| [18:18] | according to that bogus talk you’re about to give. | 正是这双魔术手唤起了你的性渴求 |
| [18:23] | “Your mic is on. | “你的胸麦开着 |
| [18:25] | The L-words can hear everything.” | 拉拉们全都听见了” |
| [18:30] | Oh, baby girl. | 小妞 |
| [18:32] | Why don’t you come on over here, | 乖乖地过来 |
| [18:33] | and let mama give you some sugar, huh? | 老娘给你点甜头尝尝 |
| [18:36] | Do you know any lesbians? | 你朋友里有真女同吗 |
| [18:42] | All right, all right. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [18:42] | Fine, fine. It’s over. I am not gay. | 戏演完了 我不是同性恋 |
| [18:46] | I was just trying to jump-start my career. | 我想东山再起 所以才出此下策 |
| [18:49] | And while all of your cameras are rolling, | 趁大家的摄像机都开着 |
| [18:51] | I-I would like to apologize to everyone here. | 我要向在座的各位道歉 |
| [18:55] | And to those who have been deceived, | 还有那些被这场虚假的 |
| [18:58] | in this whole misguided fake gay marriage escapade, | 同性恋婚姻闹剧所欺骗的人们道歉 |
| [19:03] | and especially to my dear friend | 尤其是我的好姐妹 |
| [19:04] | and soon to be ex-wife, Joy. | 即将与我劳燕分飞的妻子 乔依 |
| [19:08] | You know, of all my ex-spouses, | 跟我其他的前夫相比 |
| [19:09] | you truly are the most supportive and understanding. | 你是最支持我 最理解我的 |
| [19:13] | I’m still keeping the Doucette Freres. | 你还是要把”杜塞特兄弟”手袋给我 |
| [19:15] | Over my dead body! | 做你的青天白日梦 |
| [19:17] | I’ll see you in court! | 那我们就法庭上见 |
| [19:18] | You know, this marriage was never consummated, | 说起来 我们俩一直都没圆房 |
| [19:20] | so you are gonna get nothing and like it. | 所以你甭想从我手里拿走一个子儿 |
| [19:27] | You know, there’s a maritime superstition | 出海的人有条迷信说 |
| [19:29] | that it’s bad luck for a captain to romance | 如果船长只宠幸两位佳人 |
| [19:31] | just two women on the ship. | 会招来厄运 |
| [19:33] | It’s called the Rule of Three. | 这叫做”好事过三” |
| [19:35] | I’ve heard of it. | 这个我听说过 |