| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience. | 《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的 |
| [00:07] | You know that neighbor who always looks at us | 记得那个总是恶毒地盯着我们 |
| [00:08] | like she wants to kill us? | 杀机涌动的邻居吗 |
| [00:09] | You mean judgey face? | 你是指「有色眼镜」 |
| [00:10] | Too-many-garage-sales lady? | 「整天旧货大甩卖」那个 |
| [00:13] | We really need to learn their real names. | 看来我们得搞清她们的真名才好 |
| [00:16] | It’s judgey face. | 是「有色眼镜」 |
| [00:17] | She’s chasing after me, and she’s armed. | 她正对我穷追不舍 还全副武装呢 |
| [00:19] | Joy, come on. | 乔依 拜托 |
| [00:20] | Our neighbors are very sweet. I seriously doubt that she’s– | 我们的邻居都是好人 我真不觉得她会… |
| [00:23] | I know you’re in there. | 我知道你在里面 |
| [00:25] | Oh, she’s got a judgey voice too. | 就连声音似乎都戴着有色眼镜 |
| [00:30] | Where is she? | 她在哪儿 |
| [00:31] | Who? | 谁 |
| [00:32] | The one with the legs. | 长腿妹 |
| [00:33] | I’m right here. | 我就在你眼前啊 |
| [00:35] | You know who I mean. | 你知道我指的是谁 |
| [00:37] | That one. | 那个人 |
| [00:39] | Please… | 拜托 |
| [00:40] | What did I even do? | 我哪里得罪你了 |
| [00:41] | You dropped your mail, bent over, and picked it up. | 你把邮件掉在地上 弯下腰 然后捡起来 |
| [00:44] | Yes? | 那又如何 |
| [00:44] | In those shorts. | 你穿的是超短短裤 |
| [00:46] | Don’t you know there are children in this neighborhood? | 你不知道这社区里有小孩的吗 |
| [00:49] | Children whose fathers water the same patch of grass for 45 minutes, | 孩子的老爸们对着同一块草坪浇水45分钟 |
| [00:52] | waiting for you to come and pick up your mail. | 就为了等你过去捡邮件 |
| [00:55] | It’s the only part of my lawn that’s green. | 我家草坪就那块是绿的 |
| [01:00] | Excuse me, but I don’t think Joy meant– | 不好意思 我觉得乔依不是有意… |
| [01:01] | No, it’s not just her! It’s all of you! | 不 不仅是她 你们也都一样 |
| [01:04] | You move into this neighborhood | 你们搬进我们的社区 |
| [01:04] | with your hollywood hair | 顶着好莱坞潮流发型 |
| [01:06] | and your gorgeous clothes that never have sleeves. | 各种时尚衣服 件件都是无袖的 |
| [01:12] | It’s no wonder all our husbands stare. | 难怪我们的男人眼睛都看直了 |
| [01:14] | Oh, do they really? | 噢 是吗 |
| [01:18] | I haven’t shown my upper arms since 1998, | 我自从1998年就没露过胳膊 |
| [01:21] | and you know how hot it gets in August. | 你们也知道8月有多热 |
| [01:23] | Understood. | 完全理解 |
| [01:24] | From now on, we will cover our arms. | 从今以后 我们穿长袖衫就是了 |
| [01:26] | No, no, I don’t want you to change. | 不不 我不希望你们改变 |
| [01:28] | I want you to change me. | 我希望你们来改变我 |
| [01:29] | Make me more like you. | 把我改造的像你们一样 |
| [01:31] | Oh, you mean like a makeover? | 你是说形象重塑吗 |
| [01:33] | Oh, we love makeovers. | 我们可喜欢形象重塑了 |
| [01:34] | First makeover rule– | 形象重塑守则第一条 |
| [01:36] | no sharp accessories. | 不要佩戴锋利的首饰 |
| [01:38] | You know something I would not change? | 有一点我强烈建议你不要改 |
| [01:40] | Your perfume. It’s so… | 就是你的香水 真的非常… |
| [01:43] | Wholesome. | 有益健康 |
| [01:44] | It’s bacon and maple syrup. | 是培根和枫糖浆的味道 |
| [01:48] | But I want to change. | 但我想改变 |
| [01:50] | I want my husband to pin me up against that | 我希望我老公把我推向浴室的墙壁 |
| [01:52] | shower wall like he used to. | 翻云覆雨 就像过去那样 |
| [01:57] | And not just because we both can’t fit in there together anymore. | 水中性福不再 不仅仅是因为我们双双发福装不下了 |
| [02:01] | We can handle it. | 我们会搞定的 |
| [02:02] | We’ve done this for lots of friends back in L.A. | 我们在洛杉矶替很多朋友做过 |
| [02:05] | Remember when Angelina Jolie was so skinny, | 记得曾有段时间安吉丽娜·朱莉骨瘦如柴 |
| [02:06] | people thought she was going to die? | 人们都以为她会香消玉殒吗 |
| [02:08] | That was us. | 那都是我们的功劳 |
| [02:10] | Oh, I wish we could get started right away. | 真希望我们可以立刻开始 |
| [02:13] | But I’m sure the twins’ swings have slowed all the way down by now. | 但恐怕我那对双胞胎的秋千已经快荡停了 |
| [02:16] | How’s tomorrow morning? | 明天早上如何 |
| [02:17] | – Sure. – Fantastic. | -当然可以 -太棒了 |
| [02:18] | Great. We’ll see you then. | 真棒 到时候见 |
| [02:20] | Okay, bye-bye. | 好的 再见 |
| [02:22] | Our first Cleveland makeover. | 我们的首个克利夫兰形象重塑工程 |
| [02:24] | Well, this city has done so much for us. | 这个城市待我们不薄 |
| [02:26] | I think it’s time that we gave back. | 现在到了我们回报的时候了 |
| [02:28] | We really are wonderful, aren’t we? | 我们真的是名流女人 不是吗 |
| [02:31] | So where should we begin? | 那我们从何处着手 |
| [02:33] | Well, her clothes for starters. | 先给她挑几件像样的衣服吧 |
| [02:34] | Everything she was wearing was chosen for comfort | 她身上穿的一切都是为了舒适 |
| [02:37] | or some other ridiculous reason. | 或其他可笑的原因 |
| [02:41] | Joy, did you piss off a biker gang, too? | 乔依 你是不是还惹到了一群飞车党 |
| [02:45] | Roy took me on a motorcycle. | 罗伊带我体验了飞车的快感 |
| [02:48] | and we got here on a motorcycle I took Elka on. | 我载着爱尔卡骑摩托车过来的 |
| [02:51] | Roy, Elka, you guys are yelling. | 罗伊 爱尔卡 你们嗓门太大了 |
| [02:53] | I-I think the motorcycle affected your hearing. | 我觉得摩托车影响了你们的听力 |
| [02:55] | Hearing音近Steering 爱尔卡的听力已经受影响了 | |
| [02:55] | Oh, no, I let Roy do the steering. | 不 都是罗伊一个人在驾驶 |
| [02:59] | You won’t believe how loud that engine is. | 你都无法想象那引擎声有多吵 |
| [03:02] | would you like to say our good-byes on the porch? | 在门口送送我好吗 |
| [03:05] | I heard “Porch.” | 我听到”门口”了 |
| [03:07] | I was right. | 看来我是对的 |
| [03:09] | I didn’t want them to hear us. | 我不想让她们听到 |
| [03:13] | I didn’t want them near us either. | 我也不想让她们在旁边碍事 |
| [03:17] | Let’s make out. | 我们来亲热吧 |
| [03:19] | Now I wish I couldn’t hear. | 干脆震聋我算了 |
| [03:31] | The hair and makeup departments are ready. | 美容美发部已准备就绪 |
| [03:33] | Diet and culture is ready. | 减肥和气质养成部准备就绪 |
| [03:35] | Exercise and constructive self-loathing is ready. | 锻炼和自我厌恶情绪建设部准备就绪 |
| [03:39] | What are you charging for this makeover anyway? | 你们的形象重塑工程收费多少 |
| [03:43] | It’s free. | 完全是免费的 |
| [03:44] | Still seems pricey. | 但依然代价不菲 |
| [03:47] | Shouldn’t you be out with Roy, | 你不是该和罗伊出去逍遥快活吗 |
| [03:48] | your rebel without a prostate? | 就是你那前列腺缺失的浪子 |
| [03:53] | Rebel is right. | 浪子倒是没错 |
| [03:55] | I had no idea what a wild man he is. | 我之前完全不知道他是那样狂野的一个男人 |
| [03:58] | Roy? | 罗伊吗 |
| [03:59] | He sees a motorcycle, we have to rent one. | 他看见摩托车 我们就跑去租回来 |
| [04:02] | He sees a pet store, | 他看见一家宠物店 |
| [04:03] | we have to wear the biggest snake on our shoulders. | 我们就不得不把巨蟒缠在脖子上 |
| [04:07] | Better watch out for tattoo parlors. | 你们最好别碰到纹身馆 |
| [04:09] | Too late. I’m sitting on a butterfly. | 太晚了 我屁股上已经纹上一只蝴蝶了 |
| [04:18] | Roy’s younger than I am. | 罗伊比我年轻 |
| [04:20] | I’m 40s Sinatra, | 我在40年代迷上歌王辛纳屈 |
| [04:22] | he’s 50s Sinatra… | 他是50年代的 |
| [04:24] | But he thinks we’re the same age. | 但他觉得我们差不多大 |
| [04:26] | And he must keep thinking that. | 他得一直这样觉得下去才行 |
| [04:28] | Now, lucky for you, | 你很幸运 |
| [04:29] | all three of us have dated younger men since moving to Cleveland, | 我们仨搬到克利夫兰后都和比自己年幼的男人约会过 |
| [04:33] | and the most important lesson we’ve learned | 我们学到的最重要的一课便是 |
| [04:35] | – is to be totally dishonest. – Yes. | -要完全撒谎无不隐瞒 -是的 |
| [04:39] | You have to lie about your age, your weight. | 芳龄体重全得骗人 |
| [04:41] | Your energy level, all of it. | 你的体力情况 能骗都得骗 |
| [04:43] | And you have to be up for anything. | 要敢于接受一切挑战 |
| [04:44] | And sometimes down for stuff. | 偶尔放宽尺度也得在所不惜 |
| [04:48] | You mean I have to lie about everything? | 你们的意思是我得全部隐瞒吗 |
| [04:50] | – Yes. – Yes. | -是的 -没错 |
| [04:51] | But when you lie about your age, be careful. | 隐瞒真实年龄时 可得小心 |
| [04:53] | Make your birth year a nice, round number | 出生年选个容易的整数 |
| [04:55] | or the math is unbearable. | 不然算起来要人命 |
| [04:57] | Well, for you maybe, | 那是你笨 |
| [04:58] | aut I can add or subtract anything from 1963. | 1963怎么加减我都拿手 |
| [05:03] | But everyone calls Marilu Henner the genius. | 大家还都称女星玛丽露·亨纳尔为天才呢 |
| [05:07] | So… I could be born in…1935. | 那么 我可以自称 35年生人 |
| [05:11] | Depends. When did you turn 18? | 看情况 你芳龄18是哪年 |
| [05:14] | Too slow. | 太慢了 |
| [05:17] | It takes practice to really deep down know your new fake age, | 熟记假年龄需要练习 |
| [05:20] | but it’s completely worth it. | 但完全值得 |
| [05:23] | Because after a while, | 因为过段时间后 |
| [05:24] | you actually start to feel that age. | 你会切实感觉年轻了那么多 |
| [05:26] | You mean I could feel like I’m in my 70s again? | 你是说我又能重返70岁那段青葱岁月 |
| [05:29] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [05:31] | Oh, that would be righteous. | 老天开眼啊 |
| [05:37] | Look out, world. Here comes out Elka at 78. | 各位小心啦 年方78的爱尔卡要来啦 |
| [05:40] | Not till my next birthday. | 还差几个月呢 |
| [05:43] | Now you’re getting it. | 你逐渐上道了 |
| [05:45] | Look at us, doing good, getting to know our neighbors. | 看看我们仨 行善事 与邻居相熟 |
| [05:49] | That must be judgey face. | 一定是「有色眼镜」来了 |
| [05:53] | Pam and Sally want in. | 帕姆和莎莉想要加入 |
| [05:54] | Their husbands have been gawking at you too. | 她俩的丈夫对你们也垂涎不已 |
| [05:57] | Gawking, honestly? At which one of us? | 垂涎是吧 对着我们哪一位啊 |
| [05:59] | Please, come on in. Hi, I’m melanie. | 请进 快进来 你们好 我是梅兰妮 |
| [06:01] | I’m Pam. | 我是帕姆 |
| [06:03] | You came to one of my garage sales, remember? | 你参加过一次我家的旧货甩卖 记得吗 |
| [06:05] | But you didn’t come back to any of my other garage sales. | 但从此以后就再没来过了 |
| [06:08] | Yeah, we call you “Goes to one garage sale.” | 是啊 我们称你为「一次甩卖女」 |
| [06:16] | Wait a minute. | 等一下 |
| [06:16] | Joy’s the one with the legs, | 乔依是「长腿妹」 |
| [06:17] | and I’m only “Goes to one garage sale”? | 而我却是「一次甩卖女」 |
| [06:21] | I’m Sally, | 我是莎莉 |
| [06:23] | and I want to fit into my short shorts. | 我想挤进我的超短短裤里 |
| [06:26] | That might take a little “time time.” | 那需要花点超长长时间哦 |
| [06:33] | Okay, befores… | 好了 重塑前的各位 |
| [06:36] | Welcome to your L.A. Makeover. | 欢迎参加洛城大变身之旅 |
| [06:38] | Now, today’s topic is food. | 今天的主题是食物 |
| [06:40] | What is your relationship to food? Kim? | 你们和食物的关系怎样 金姆先说 |
| [06:43] | – I love food. – Me too. | -我爱美食 -我也是 |
| [06:44] | The only dreams I ever remember are of food. | 我唯一记得的美梦就是关于美食的 |
| [06:47] | One night I dreamed that my husband was made of chocolate. | 有一晚我梦见我老公是巧克力做的 |
| [06:51] | Then his snoring woke me up. | 结果一声呼噜响把我震醒了 |
| [06:53] | So I ate a bag of oreos in the bathroom. | 我便偷跑进厕所吃了一袋奥利奥 |
| [06:55] | Well, you’re going to love this diet, | 你们会爱上这个节食计划的 |
| [06:57] | because it lets you love food, | 因为它会让你爱上美食 |
| [06:58] | obsess over it, dream about it, even put it in your mouth. | 为此痴狂 日思夜想 甚至放进嘴里 |
| [07:01] | You just can’t swallow it. | 但就是不能吞进去 |
| [07:04] | Are you serious? We can’t eat? | 你没开玩笑吗 我们不能吃东西 |
| [07:06] | Well, think of food as a bad boyfriend. | 把食物想象成一个渣男友 |
| [07:08] | It only wants you to love it so it can screw you. | 它让你坠入爱河 只是为了摧毁[操]你 |
| [07:12] | Let’s talk about meal planning. | 首先讨论下饮食计划 |
| [07:14] | Now, what is the most important meal of the day? | 一天中哪顿餐最重要 |
| [07:17] | – Breakfast? – Exactly. | -早餐吗 -回答正确 |
| [07:18] | Which is why it’s so important to skip it. | 因其重要 所以我们要不吃早餐 |
| [07:23] | For lunch, you can have a salad. | 至于午餐 一份沙拉是允许的 |
| [07:25] | Cobb salad? Steak salad? | 科布沙拉 牛排沙拉[都含肉] |
| [07:27] | Mexican salad with the edible bowl? | 连碗都是食物做的墨西哥沙拉吗 |
| [07:29] | You can’t just take an entire meal | 你不能这样囫囵吞肉 |
| [07:30] | and slap the word “Salad” on it. | 还美其名曰吃的是沙拉 |
| [07:33] | And if you make it through the entire day without eating, | 若你能完全不进食撑过一天 |
| [07:37] | congratulations– you can have one large martini. | 恭喜你 奖励你一大杯马提尼 |
| [07:40] | Or some veggies and fish if you’re in A.A. | 你若在戒酒中 便可以吃些蔬菜和小鱼 |
| [07:44] | I read somewhere that if you don’t eat enough, | 我在哪读到 若是进食不足 |
| [07:46] | your brain starts to eat itself. | 你的左右脑便会互相开餐 |
| [07:48] | Which is more lost weight. | 那就减得更多呀 |
| [07:55] | After I got out of the army, | 退役以后 |
| [07:56] | I hitchhiked around for a while– | 我便四处搭便车旅行 |
| [07:58] | Dangerous stuff, even for 1952. | 就算是52年 也堪称危险 |
| [08:02] | 17. I was 17 in 1952. | 17岁 52年人家才17呢 |
| [08:06] | I like the adventure of the road. | 我喜欢路上征险 |
| [08:08] | I didn’t settle down in once place until 1955. | 直到1955年我才停下脚步 |
| [08:11] | 20. | 我20岁 |
| [08:14] | And I came to Cleveland in ’57. | 然后我57年来到克利夫兰 |
| [08:16] | 22. | 我22岁 |
| [08:19] | So… What should we do next? | 那么 一会我们该做什么 |
| [08:21] | You know me. I’m up for anything. | 你知道我这人的 我什么都可以 |
| [08:23] | Oh, I noticed that. | 我注意到了 |
| [08:25] | I didn’t even have to talk you into riding | 我都不需要说服你 |
| [08:27] | that backward roller coaster with me. | 和我一起坐倒挂过山车 |
| [08:30] | Wasn’t that fun? | 那还真是有趣 |
| [08:34] | I thought you were a thrill seeker. | 我就猜到你也爱追求刺激 |
| [08:37] | Now I know for sure. | 现在更加肯定了 |
| [08:38] | – Takes one to know one. – Yeah. | -彼此彼此 -是啊 |
| [08:41] | You know, maybe we should do something crazy. | 你看 或许我们该做些疯狂的事 |
| [08:44] | Like what? | 比如什么 |
| [08:45] | How about skydiving? | 跳伞如何 |
| [08:47] | I’m up… and down for that. | 我恐… 怕完全同意 |
| [09:01] | Great job, ladies, | 干得好 姐妹们 |
| [09:02] | especially whoever was crying on the way up that last hill. | 尤其是边哭边爬最后一山的某位 |
| [09:05] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [09:08] | All right, time for our weigh-in. | 好 现在该上秤了 |
| [09:10] | Pam, you’re first. | 帕姆 你先来 |
| [09:12] | I lost four pounds. | 我减了4磅 |
| [09:14] | Care to make a declaration? | 能发表个减重感言吗 |
| [09:16] | Well, to tell the truth, my arms are so sore, | 老实说 我手臂又酸又痛 |
| [09:19] | I haven’t been able to hug my kids all week. | 这一周想拥抱下孩子都不行 |
| [09:21] | – Marvelous. – Fantastic. | -棒极了 -了不起 |
| [09:25] | I’m next. | 接着是我 |
| [09:27] | Two pounds. Declaration? | 减了2磅 感想如何 |
| [09:29] | I did my hair and makeup the way that Joy taught me, | 我照着乔依教的那样梳妆打扮 |
| [09:31] | which made me a couple of hours late for work. | 结果上班迟到了几小时 |
| [09:33] | So a few 911 calls did go unanswered. | 有些报警求救电话就没人接了 |
| [09:37] | But the cute Starbucks guy winked at me | 可星巴克的帅小伙冲我抛媚眼 |
| [09:39] | and gave me a free pastry, | 还送了免费酥饼给我 |
| [09:40] | which I, of course, chewed and spit out. | 当然 我光嚼了嚼 没吞下去 |
| [09:47] | You lost five pounds. How do you feel? | 你减掉了5磅 感觉如何 |
| [09:50] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [09:51] | Shaky, cranky. | 手脚发抖 心浮气躁 |
| [09:53] | I think the word you’re looking for is “Happy,” | 我猜你是想说”心花怒放” |
| [10:04] | Now, until you actually lose the weight, | 现在 在你们减重成功以前 |
| [10:06] | everyone looks thinner in six-inch heels. | 6寸高跟鞋会让你们看起来更苗条 |
| [10:08] | Now, practice walking around the neighborhood | 在附近走动练习一下 |
| [10:11] | and pretend you’re as comfortable | 装出和穿着那些 |
| [10:12] | as you were in those Crocs we just took away from you. | 被我们没收的洞洞鞋同样舒服的感觉 |
| [10:16] | I can’t feel my feet in these. | 穿这玩意我脚都没知觉了 |
| [10:18] | The bluer the toe, the sweeter the shoe. | 梅花香自苦寒来 脚趾越肿人越美 |
| [10:22] | Everyone’s going to stare at us. | 别人会围观我们的 |
| [10:23] | Oh, you’re welcome. | 不用谢 |
| [10:26] | There you go. You’re doing it. | 不错 走得很好 |
| [10:28] | You are doing it. | 走得很好 |
| [10:29] | Sally’s down. | 莎莉倒下了 |
| [10:32] | And she’s back up. | 不过她又爬起来了 |
| [10:34] | What a triumph. | 真是巨大的胜利 |
| [10:36] | We are literally changing lives. | 我们真的改变了她们的人生 |
| [10:39] | Roy and I are going skydiving tomorrow. | 罗伊和我明天要去跳伞 |
| [10:42] | Skydiving? | 跳伞 |
| [10:43] | You can’t do that. It’s too dangerous– | 你不能去 这对你的实际年纪 |
| [10:45] | both for your real and fake ages. | 和假年纪来说 都太危险了 |
| [10:48] | And I lied about my weight on all the forms. | 而且我还在所有表格上 都谎报了体重 |
| [10:53] | By how much? | 谎报了多少 |
| [10:54] | As much as you told me to. | 你教我说多少我就说了多少 |
| [10:56] | Oh, my god, you’re going to die. | 我的天 你必死无疑了 |
| [11:00] | You have to get out of this. | 你得推掉这事 |
| [11:02] | All right, I-I have some experience in this area. | 在这方面我经验丰富 |
| [11:06] | You need to lock yourself in your trailer | 你就反锁在拖车里不出来 |
| [11:08] | and demand a stunt double. | 要求替身演员上场 |
| [11:10] | No, you need a young-ish excuse to get out of it. | 才怪 你得找个装嫩的理由来推辞 |
| [11:13] | you’re wasted from doing jell-o shots. | 就说你喝多了果冻鸡尾酒醉了 |
| [11:17] | Or you got your period. | 或者说你来月经了 |
| [11:23] | I can’t believe I listened to you three. | 真不敢相信我居然向你们仨求助 |
| [11:27] | You’d think I would’ve learned something after 77 years on this earth. | 行走人间77年 我还以为能长点记性呢 |
| [11:34] | Wow. That is fun to say. | 哇 装嫩的确蛮好玩的 |
| [11:40] | Roy, I admit it. I’m scared. | 罗伊 我得说 我好怕啊 |
| [11:43] | But you were nervous on your first jump, right? | 不过你第一次跳伞时也会紧张 对吧 |
| [11:46] | I sure am. | 我现在的确紧张 |
| [11:48] | What? | 什么 |
| [11:49] | I have a confession to make. I lied to you. | 我要坦白 我骗了你 |
| [11:51] | I’ve never done this before. | 我从来没跳过伞 |
| [11:53] | But you said you were a paratrooper in Korea. | 可你说你在朝鲜时当过伞兵 |
| [11:56] | Yes, that was the lie. | 都说了 那是骗你的 |
| [12:00] | So we don’t have to do this. | 那我们不用跳了吧 |
| [12:02] | No. | 不用 |
| [12:03] | Let me unhook the tandem line. | 我来解开我们的连接绳 |
| [12:06] | That’s the safety– | 那是保险绳啊 |
| [12:13] | And that’s the last set of kegel exercises for today. | 本日最后一组凯格尔提肛运动就此结束 |
| [12:19] | Quick, get these away from me. I’m having a relapse. | 快 把它拿走 我”食瘾”复发了 |
| [12:21] | What is that? | 这是什么 |
| [12:23] | The walking taco. | 妙味玉米片 |
| [12:24] | I can’t resist them. | 我抵抗不住它的诱惑 |
| [12:25] | It’s chili, cheese, sour cream | 里面有辣椒 奶酪 酸奶油 |
| [12:28] | all floating on a salty bed of crushed Frito, | 洒在搅碎的咸味玉米片上 |
| [12:32] | goodness. | 苍天呐 |
| [12:34] | I put raisins in mine. | 我会在里面加点葡萄干 |
| [12:36] | Then it’s a salad. | 那样就算是沙拉了嘛 |
| [12:39] | How many calories is that? | 这得有多少卡路里啊 |
| [12:45] | 4,780 calories. | 4780大卡 |
| [12:48] | I’m the Beautiful Mind of vanity math. | 我是虚荣和浮华界的数学奇才 |
| [12:51] | Can I have it back? | 能还给我吗 |
| [12:52] | Of course not. | 当然不行 |
| [12:54] | You shouldn’t have even brought it here. | 你就不该把它带来 |
| [12:55] | You should have thrown it away at your house. | 你该把它扔在家里 |
| [12:58] | At my house, I would have just eaten it out of the trash… | 在我家 我会把它从垃圾箱里翻出来吃掉 |
| [13:01] | Like I want to do now. | 我现在就想去翻了 |
| [13:02] | No, no, no, no, no. | 稳住 稳住 |
| [13:06] | Hush, little judgey face, don’t you cry… | 别哭别哭 我亲爱的「有色眼镜」宝贝 |
| [13:14] | I only lied to make myself seem more exciting. | 我撒谎是为了让我看起来活力四射 |
| [13:17] | But I’m no thrill seeker. | 可我并不喜欢追求刺激 |
| [13:19] | I only lied about that because I lied about my– | 我那么说是因为我谎报了 |
| [13:32] | this is gorgeous. | 这风景真是美不胜收 |
| [13:34] | it is. | 的确如此 |
| [13:39] | So what did you lie about? | 你谎报了什么 |
| [13:42] | In good time, let’s just enjoy the view. | 值此良辰 我们还是好好欣赏美景吧 |
| [13:48] | Are we floating off course? | 我们是不是越飘越歪了 |
| [13:51] | We’re heading for Lake Erie. | 我们正飘向伊利湖 |
| [13:54] | They said with our combined weight, | 他们说按我俩的体重总和 |
| [13:55] | we’d drift right onto the field. | 我们应该飘落在地面上 |
| [13:58] | About that… | 这个嘛… |
| [14:01] | Lovely day for a swim, isn’t it? | 这天气游泳也不错 是吧 |
| [14:05] | Aging gracefully is a myth. | 优雅地老去只是个传说 |
| [14:09] | Nature is only your friend until you’re 25, | 25岁后 自然规律就不是你的朋友了 |
| [14:12] | and then you have to turn to the unnatural– | 你得转而结交那些不自然的 |
| [14:14] | Botox, fillers, and lasers. | 肉毒杆菌 填充物 激光照射 |
| [14:17] | I’ve heard lasers are painful. | 我听说激光照射很疼的 |
| [14:19] | Victoria will cover pain killing tomorrow. | 关于止痛片的课程 明天维多利亚会传授 |
| [14:21] | Don’t miss it, and don’t plan on driving home. | 千万不要错过 也别想着开车溜回家 |
| [14:25] | Laser treatments make your skin look years younger. | 激光疗法能令你的肌肤年轻数岁 |
| [14:28] | Here’s how. | 下面看我演示 |
| [14:31] | Imagine this marshmallow | 将这块棉花糖想象成 |
| [14:33] | is your sad, wrinkly face. | 你们那布满皱纹的苦瓜脸 |
| [14:35] | Now here comes the helpful laser. | 现在用神奇的激光照射一下 |
| [14:40] | Of course it looks burnt and blistery now, | 虽然现在看着烧焦起泡了 |
| [14:43] | but when the crust peels off, | 但把外壳剥掉之后 |
| [14:45] | it’s all creamy and smooth underneath. | 底下的表面既柔嫩又平滑 |
| [14:48] | Any questions? | 还有什么疑问吗 |
| [14:50] | No, you can’t eat it. | 不行 这个不能吃 |
| [14:59] | Jerry, what are you doing here? | 杰瑞 你怎么来了 |
| [15:00] | I knew you weren’t scrapbooking. | 我就知道你不是在做剪贴簿 |
| [15:04] | Are you the lucky husbands? Please come in. | 你们就是那几位走运的老公吧 快请进 |
| [15:06] | And tell us what you think of your fabulous new wives. | 见到自己焕然一新的老婆 有什么感受 |
| [15:10] | We want our old wives back. | 把以前的老婆还给我们 |
| [15:12] | Yeah, our old wives weren’t hungry and cranky. | 没错 以前的老婆可不会饿成暴脾气 |
| [15:15] | And they didn’t take so long to get ready. | 出门前打扮的速度也很效率 |
| [15:18] | But look at the results. They’re so hot. | 看她们努力的成果啊 魅力大增 |
| [15:20] | How can you stand it? | 不觉得诱惑难挡吗 |
| [15:21] | Are you talking about sex? | 你是指性福的诱惑吗 |
| [15:23] | Because my wife said that’s over until she gets abs. | 我老婆说她没练出腹肌前 不准我碰她 |
| [15:27] | My wife says nobody can have abs and kids at the same time. | 我老婆说腹肌和孩子 两样不可兼得 |
| [15:30] | She says Gwen Stefani does. | 她说歌手格温·史蒂芬妮就双丰收了 |
| [15:33] | Is that the new kindergarten teacher? | 你是说新来的那个幼儿园老师吗 |
| [15:35] | Gentlemen, are you listening to yourselves? | 先生们 听听你们的荒唐话 |
| [15:37] | Now, your wives didn’t just do this for you. | 你们老婆这么做 不只是为了你们 |
| [15:39] | They also did it for themselves, for their own personal dignity. | 也为她们自己 为了她们自己的尊严 |
| [15:43] | Personal dignity? | 自尊 |
| [15:44] | Well, we were always doing it for our husbands. | 我们这么做完全是为了自己的老公 |
| [15:47] | I think this is romantic. | 好浪漫哦 |
| [15:49] | The guys just want their wives to be themselves. | 他们想让自己老婆做真实的自我 |
| [15:51] | Is that true, Jerry? | 这是真的吗 杰瑞 |
| [15:53] | Did you really like me the way I was? | 你真的喜欢我原来的样子吗 |
| [15:55] | Of course. | 当然了 |
| [15:56] | But you’re always staring at them. | 但你总是盯着她们看啊 |
| [15:58] | Just to stare. | 就是过过眼瘾 |
| [15:59] | I wouldn’t want to be married to them. | 结婚过日子 我可不会选她们 |
| [16:03] | Oh, god, can you imagine? | 老天 你敢想象吗 |
| [16:06] | That would be a nightmare. | 那肯定是个噩梦 |
| [16:10] | New Kim doesn’t even smell right. | 金姆现在闻起来都不对味了 |
| [16:12] | You don’t have that… | 你身上以前那种… |
| [16:14] | bacon-y freshness. | 清新的培根味不见了 |
| [16:17] | Oh, Jer. | 老杰 |
| [16:18] | Come on, Sally. | 走吧 莎莉 |
| [16:19] | Let’s get home and burn those short shorts. | 我们回家把超短短裤烧了去 |
| [16:22] | Let’s go, baby. | 走吧 宝贝儿 |
| [16:23] | Thanks, you guys. | 谢谢你们 |
| [16:24] | For what? | 谢什么 |
| [16:26] | All we wanted to know | 我们之前只是想确定 |
| [16:27] | was that our husbands didn’t want you. | 我们老公对你们没有性趣 |
| [16:29] | And we got that. | 现在我们确定了 |
| [16:31] | Who needs a makeover now? | 现在轮到你们形象重塑了吧 |
| [16:35] | I’m sorry if that came off mean. I’m very hungry. | 口出恶言 实在抱歉 我实在饿急了 |
| [16:42] | Apparently they think we are gorgeous nightmares. | 他们觉得我们是华丽的噩梦 |
| [16:45] | They didn’t say “gorgeous.” | “华丽”是你自己加的吧 |
| [16:46] | Well, it was implied. | 我能听出他们话里有那个意思 |
| [16:48] | Well, I think it’s sweet how much they love their wives. | 他们爱妻有加 真让人欣慰 |
| [16:52] | They did seem happy. | 他们看着的确很幸福 |
| [16:54] | Well, they’re happy | 他们之所以高兴 |
| [16:54] | because they’re back where they were | 是因为他们的老婆又恢复到 |
| [16:56] | before you hens pecked at them. | 被你们作践之前的样子了 |
| [16:59] | Elka, you didn’t die. | 爱尔卡 你没死啊 |
| [17:00] | Not so fast. | 别急着下结论 |
| [17:01] | She could just be back to haunt us. | 她可能是化作厉鬼回来找我们寻仇的 |
| [17:05] | I’m alive. | 我还活着 |
| [17:07] | And I told Roy the truth about everything. | 而且我把实话全都告诉罗伊了 |
| [17:09] | Oh, big mistake. | 大错特错 |
| [17:11] | He’s okay with it. | 他欣然接受了 |
| [17:13] | What is happening to men? | 男人们这都是怎么了 |
| [17:16] | Have standards sunk so low | 标准低到无下限 |
| [17:17] | that men are now accepting women as they are? | 竟然开始接受女人们的真实面目了 |
| [17:21] | You girls should accept the way you are. | 你们几个也应该接受自己的本来面目 |
| [17:24] | You should stop lying about your age, and you should eat. | 不要再隐瞒年龄了 也不要再绝食了 |
| [17:29] | Do you think we’re nightmares, too? | 你也觉得我们是噩梦吗 |
| [17:31] | Can I go one at a time? | 我能一次只做一个噩梦吗 |
| [17:34] | it’s no fun kicking you when you’re down. | 你们现在蔫不拉几的 抨击你们都没乐趣 |
| [17:38] | I’ll wait till tomorrow morning. | 我等明早再好好收拾你们 |
| [17:41] | Maybe she’s right. | 也许她说得对 |
| [17:42] | Maybe we should loosen up our routines a little. | 也许我们应该解放一下自己 |
| [17:46] | Are you saying, “When in Cleveland”… | 你是说在克利夫兰 |
| [17:49] | “Eat a bit more”? | 多吃一点没关系 |
| [17:52] | I smell something from our kitchen. | 我闻到厨房有香气袭来 |
| [17:54] | It’s the walking taco. | 那是妙味玉米片的味道 |
| [17:57] | And it’s not quite in our kitchen. | 也算不上是从厨房传过来的 |
| [18:04] | That looks really good. | 很好吃的样子 |
| [18:06] | It’s still in the bag. | 有包装袋隔着呢 |
| [18:08] | Just grab it already before the cheese stops bubbling. | 趁奶酪还在冒泡 赶紧拾起来 |
| [18:14] | So this is what happiness feels like. | 原来这就是幸福的感觉啊 |
| [18:19] | I feel so warm, | 我感觉很温暖 |
| [18:20] | like my insides are giving me a hug. | 就像是五脏六腑给了我个拥抱 |
| [18:24] | Te amo, walking taco. Te amo. | 我爱你 妙味玉米片 爱死你了 |
| [18:30] | I’m unbuttoning my pants… | 我得把裤子扣解开 |
| [18:33] | Like an animal… | 像是没有风度的禽兽 |
| [18:34] | And loving it. | 却乐在其中 |
| [18:37] | Feel my chili bump. | 快摸摸我的辣椒小肚皮 |
| [18:41] | It is so freeing not stressing about what we eat. | 吃东西不必计后果 简直一身轻松 |
| [18:43] | We’re loosening up. | 我们解放自我了 |
| [18:45] | Maybe we can change. | 看来我们还是可以改变的 |
| [18:50] | Yeah, but isn’t the lesson… “Don’t change”? | 但这事的教训不是”不要改变”吗 |
| [18:53] | I-I mean, when we were in L.A., we were– | 我们在洛杉矶的时候 |
| [18:56] | we were like everybody else, | 和周围的人没什么两样 |
| [18:57] | but we came here, and then we were special, | 但来了这里 却显得很特别 |
| [18:59] | and if we make everyone else like us | 如果我们把别人都打造成自己的样子 |
| [19:01] | or–or we try to be like them, then… | 或是努力变成她们的样子 那么 |
| [19:04] | The spell is broken. | 魔咒就被打破了 |
| [19:08] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [19:09] | They’re happy being themselves. | 她们愿意做她们的主妇 |
| [19:11] | We’re happy being ourselves. | 我们乐意做我们的潮妞 |
| [19:13] | We just need to find men | 我们只要找到 |
| [19:14] | who like us the way we are. | 喜欢我们本来面目的男人就好 |
| [19:16] | Men whose dream it is to marry nightmares. | 那些梦想着和噩梦结婚的男人 |
| [19:20] | I’m buttoning. | 我得把扣子扣上了 |
| [19:21] | Yeah, we need to work off these calories fast. | 我们得赶紧把这些卡路里消耗掉 |
| [19:23] | We need to take a power run. | 我们得去跑个步 |
| [19:25] | I’m not running anywhere with this belly full of chili. | 我现在满肚子的辣椒 哪儿都不去 |
| [19:28] | So why did we pour that whole bag of marshmallows on top? | 为什么要把一整袋棉花糖都倒在上面 |
| [19:32] | That’s what makes it a salad. | 那样就算是沙拉了嘛 |