| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Joy met George– a great guy | 乔依遇到了乔治 他人很好 |
| [00:04] | who only has three months to live. | 不过只剩三个月的寿命了 |
| [00:06] | But while Joy was helping George | 然而当乔依帮乔治一件一件实现 |
| [00:08] | cross things off his bucket list, | 遗愿清单上的愿望时 |
| [00:10] | she fell for him–hard. | 她爱上了他 无法自拔 |
| [00:13] | Who are you? | 你到底是谁啊 |
| [00:14] | Your new boyfriend. Get used to it. | 你的新男友 认命吧 |
| [00:21] | We did it, Joy. | 我们做到了 乔依 |
| [00:23] | To Rio and back in under 24 hours. | 24小时内往返里约热内卢 |
| [00:25] | Where’s your bucket list? | 你的遗愿清单呢 |
| [00:27] | I am officially crossing off | 现在我隆重地划去 |
| [00:30] | “Fly to Brazil for a truly great cup of coffee.” | “飞往巴西 只为一杯绝妙的咖啡”这项 |
| [00:34] | Oh, I hadn’t noticed this one. | 我还没注意到有这条呢 |
| [00:37] | “Sleep with 300 women.” | “与三百个女人上床” |
| [00:39] | – Did I write that? – It’s underlined twice | -是我写的吗 -你划了两道下划线 |
| [00:42] | and all in caps. | 还特地用了大写 |
| [00:44] | George! | 乔治 |
| [00:44] | You only have three months to live! | 你就剩三个月可活了 |
| [00:46] | How could you possibly sleep with 300 women? | 你得夜御几女才能达到这指标啊 |
| [00:48] | Hmm, you’re right. | 说得有道理 |
| [00:50] | How about I just sleep with you 300 times? | 那就单单御你三百次如何 |
| [00:52] | In three months? | 三个月内吗 |
| [00:53] | Well, it’s only, like, 3 1/2 times a day. | 算算也不过 每天做个三次半吧 |
| [00:56] | Huh, well, we already did the half one. | 那么刚刚已经把今天的半次完成了 |
| [00:58] | Yeah, sorry about that. | 是啊 都怪我 |
| [01:00] | You know, having sex on the beach sounds like a good idea, | 在海滩上做爱听起来挺带劲的 |
| [01:02] | but then there’s all the sand and the bottle caps, | 但加上浑身的沙子 满地的瓶盖 |
| [01:04] | and that kid with the lost soccer ball. | 还有过来找足球的小兔崽子 |
| [01:08] | Marry me, Joy. | 嫁给我吧 乔依 |
| [01:09] | What? | 什么 |
| [01:10] | – We hardly know each other. – What’s to know? | -我们几乎都不了解对方 -有什么要了解的 |
| [01:12] | I’ve only got three months. How bad could it be? | 我就剩三个月了 再糟糕能糟到哪儿去 |
| [01:15] | You’re right, there’s nothing so awful | 你说得倒也对 再怎么糟糕 |
| [01:17] | you can’t put up with it for three months. | 也不至于连三个月都忍不了 |
| [01:20] | And suddenly, that doesn’t sound romantic. | 怎么经我一说 气氛突然不浪漫了 |
| [01:23] | To the contrary, it’s nothing but romantic. | 恰恰相反 我觉得特别浪漫 |
| [01:25] | All we’ll have is the honeymoon– | 我们度完蜜月就结束了 |
| [01:27] | a three-month honeymoon. | 为期三个月的蜜月哦 |
| [01:29] | Travel the world with me. | 跟我一起环游世界吧 |
| [01:31] | Oh, I don’t know. I’m not an impulsive person. | 我也不知道 我不是个冲动的人 |
| [01:34] | And I hate that about you. | 我就烦你这点 |
| [01:35] | But I only have to put up with it for three months! | 但我只要忍你三个月就好了 |
| [01:39] | True! | 没错 |
| [01:43] | I hate when you clear your throat like that. | 我也挺烦你这么清嗓子的 |
| [01:45] | But I’d only have to put up with it for three months! | 但我只要忍你三个月就好了 |
| [01:50] | That is the ugliest shirt I have ever seen, | 这是我见过的最丑的衬衫 |
| [01:53] | and I dated Jimmy Buffett. | 比我前男友吉米·巴菲特都还寒碜[歌手] |
| [01:56] | I stole it out of George’s bag this morning. | 我今早从乔治的包里偷出来的 |
| [01:59] | I told him I could put up with anything for three months, | 我跟他说 我什么都能忍三个月 |
| [02:00] | but this shirt is too hideous, | 不过这件衬衫实在是太丑了 |
| [02:03] | especially now that I’m going to be… | 特别是我现在要成为 |
| [02:04] | his wife! | 他的老婆啦 |
| [02:05] | – What? – Are you k–what? | -什么 -你没开玩笑吧 |
| [02:07] | I give it two months. | 我赌你们两个月就得离 |
| [02:12] | He has three months to live. | 他就只能再活三个月了 |
| [02:15] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [02:18] | We’re getting married on Friday, | 我们周五就结婚 |
| [02:19] | then we’re traveling the world together. | 然后一起去环球旅行 |
| [02:21] | Joy, are you sure you’ve thought this through? | 乔依 你确定自己想清楚了吗 |
| [02:24] | You know, obviously not. | 肯定没有啊 |
| [02:26] | I mean, how are you going to pack for three months? | 我是说 三个月的行李怎么收拾得过来啊 |
| [02:29] | I know I’m rushing into this, but what’s the alternative? | 我知道这有点仓促 但我有得选吗 |
| [02:32] | George doesn’t have much time, and I truly adore him. | 乔治没几天可活了 我也很喜欢他 |
| [02:35] | You’re doing a good thing, Joy. | 你这是在行善积德 乔依 |
| [02:37] | Having you for a wife will make dying much easier. | 娶了你这么个悍妇为妻 谁还会怕死呢 |
| [02:44] | You’re just mad because you can no longer call me | 你生气只是因为没机会再叫我 |
| [02:46] | “The Spinster Scroggs”. | “斗战剩女斯克罗格”了 |
| [02:47] | “The Widow Scroggs” does have a classic ring. | “寡妇斯克罗格”的确更上档次 |
| [02:50] | Aren’t you gonna take his last name? | 那你要随夫家的姓吗 |
| [02:51] | You’ve always hated yours. | 你那么讨厌自己的姓 |
| [02:52] | Yes, but George’s is worse. | 我是讨厌 但他的更难听 |
| [02:54] | Well, how much worse could it be? | 能难听到哪儿去啊 |
| [02:56] | Believe me, it’s Gross. | 相信我 那叫一个”恶心” |
| [02:57] | Well, come on, it can’t be that bad. | 拜托 不会那么糟吧 |
| [02:59] | His last name is “Gross”. | 我是说他姓”格罗斯”[恶心] |
| [03:02] | I’d be “The Widow Gross”. | 到时候我就成”恶心寡妇”了 |
| [03:05] | Oh, I wonder who that could be. | 这会儿谁会上门啊 |
| [03:06] | Probably my twin sister. | 可能是我的双胞胎妹妹 |
| [03:08] | Your what? | 你的谁 |
| [03:10] | You have a twin? | 你还有双胞胎妹妹 |
| [03:11] | Elka, why did you never mention this? | 爱尔卡 怎么从没听你说过啊 |
| [03:13] | I’m an enigma, wrapped inside a conundrum, | 老身如谜 层层重裹 |
| [03:17] | shrouded in dimples. | 酒窝之下隐晦莫测 |
| [03:20] | Why hasn’t she visited before? | 她以前怎么没来过 |
| [03:22] | We had a big fight. | 我们大吵了一架 |
| [03:24] | We haven’t spoken in 40 years! | 四十年都没说过话 |
| [03:27] | But Joy’s dying guy got me thinking, | 但乔依的垂死男点醒了我 |
| [03:30] | maybe it’s time we let bygones be bygones. | 往事不要再提 人生已多风雨 |
| [03:33] | Oh, that’s so sweet. You’re gonna patch things up. | 真暖心 你们一定会重修旧好的 |
| [03:37] | I forgot how needy she was. | 都忘了她这么黏人了 |
| [03:41] | I’m annoyed already. | 姐已经被惹恼了 |
| [03:47] | 琼·里弗斯 著名喜剧脱口秀演员 | |
| [03:50] | Elka! | 爱尔卡 |
| [03:51] | Anka! | 安卡 |
| [03:58] | You look terrible! | 你看起来一团糟 |
| [04:11] | What have you done to our face? | 你对我们的脸动了什么手脚啊 |
| [04:13] | Me? | 你还嫌我 |
| [04:15] | What about you? “Natural aging.” Disgusting! | 你自己呢 什么自然衰老 听着就恶心 |
| [04:21] | Where’s the famous Ostrovsky neck freckle? | 你脖子上的那些祖传闻名的雀斑呢 |
| [04:24] | You had it removed! | 你居然把它点了 |
| [04:26] | Oh, please. | 拜托 |
| [04:27] | After five facelifts, it’s on my forehead! | 五次脸部拉皮后 它已经移到我额头上了 |
| [04:33] | Oh, Anka, would you like something to eat? | 安卡 想吃点什么东西吗 |
| [04:34] | Oh, no, thank you, no. | 不用了 谢谢 |
| [04:36] | I couldn’t eat with that freakish thing in the room. | 有这恶心的玩意儿在 我实在吃不下 |
| [04:38] | Yeah, Joy puts me off my food too. | 可不是嘛 乔依也让我大倒胃口 |
| [04:42] | No, no, no, I–I meant the shirt. | 不是 我是说这件衬衫 |
| [04:44] | Relax, I’m tossing it in the rubbish right now. | 淡定 我这就把它扔垃圾堆里 |
| [04:47] | So, 40 years. That must’ve been some fight. | 四十多年啊 你们当初肯定大动干戈吧 |
| [04:50] | – Horrible. – Oh, vicious. | -惨不忍睹 -血雨腥风 |
| [04:53] | What was it about again? | 那时是为什么事吵架来着 |
| [04:54] | Oh, crap. Alzheimer’s! | 完蛋 老年痴呆了已经 |
| [05:00] | Has it gotten to the point | 她的情况已经严重到 |
| [05:01] | where she thinks Kleenex is money? | 把面巾纸当钞票用了吗 |
| [05:05] | Okay, so what was the fight about? | 我俩当时吵架的原因是什么呢 |
| [05:10] | Well, I don’t remember. | 我记不清了 |
| [05:13] | Was it when I pretended to be you | 是因为那次我假扮成你 |
| [05:14] | – and slept with your boyfriend? – No. | -跟你男友上床了吗 -不是 |
| [05:17] | Was it when I pretended to be you | 是因为那次我假扮成你 |
| [05:20] | and escaped from Poland? | 然后逃出波兰吗 |
| [05:23] | No. | 不是 |
| [05:26] | What about a drink? | 喝一杯怎么样 |
| [05:27] | It’s 9:00 A.M.! | 才早上9点 |
| [05:29] | – Vodka then. – Sure! | -那就喝伏特加吧 -好 |
| [05:42] | It’s my husband-to-be. | 是我未婚夫打来的 |
| [05:44] | Hello, husband-to-be. | 你好啊 未婚夫 |
| [05:47] | Your lucky flowered shirt is missing? | 你那件幸运花衬衫找不到了吗 |
| [05:49] | Yeah, I know the one. | 是的 我知道是哪件 |
| [05:51] | I love that shirt. | 我的心头好啊 |
| [05:54] | I’m in my bedroom right now. I’ll look around for it. | 我现在在卧室里 我去给你找找 |
| [06:00] | Nope, don’t see it anywhere. | 没 没见着 |
| [06:03] | What? | 什么 |
| [06:04] | You want to be buried in it? | 你下葬的时候要穿着它 |
| [06:07] | Don’t worry, I’ll find it. | 别担心 我去给你找 |
| [06:09] | I’ve got to retrieve that shirt before the trash man does! | 我可得赶在收垃圾的人之前先下手才行 |
| [06:12] | Hello, Joy! | 好啊 乔依 |
| [06:15] | Oh, thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [06:17] | Well, this is going better than I thought. | 瞧你激动的 真让我喜出望外 |
| [06:18] | – Take off your shirt. – A lot better than I thought! | -快把衣服脱掉 -喜出望得更外了 |
| [06:22] | Artie, I need that shirt back. | 阿蒂 快把这衬衫还我 |
| [06:23] | It’s my fiance’s favorite. | 这是我未婚夫的最爱 |
| [06:24] | He’s dying and he wants to be buried in it. | 他活不了多久了 指望穿着它下葬呢 |
| [06:26] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 我很遗憾 |
| [06:27] | Thank you, but we’ve made peace with it, so– | 谢谢关心 不过我们已经看开了 所以 |
| [06:29] | No, no, no, I’m sorry I can’t give you the shirt back. | 不是的 我是说我很抱歉不能把这衬衫还给你 |
| [06:33] | I found it in the trash, and as a former homeless man, | 是我在垃圾堆捡到的 身为资深前流浪汉 |
| [06:36] | I’m well-versed in the 1988 landmark decision, | 我对于1988年那划时代的决议早已烂熟于心 |
| [06:39] | Finders v. Weepers. | 谁捡到谁收起 谁丢失谁哭泣 |
| [06:42] | Artie, you’re a billionaire now. | 阿蒂 你现在可是个亿万富翁了 |
| [06:43] | Surely you can buy yourself 100 hideous shirts. | 这丑得掉渣的衬衫你还不随便买 |
| [06:45] | Perhaps. Or perhaps I will hold this one hostage. | 或许如此 但或许我就把这件劫为人质了 |
| [06:48] | For what? Money? | 你图什么 钱吗 |
| [06:50] | No, for love! The love of a good woman! | 不 为了爱 为了抱得美人归 |
| [06:53] | Joy, I need you to give me a makeover so I can find one! | 乔依 给我来个大改造 让我找到另一半 |
| [06:56] | Wait, what happened to the love of your life, Preshi, | 慢着 你那毕生挚爱普莉希怎么了 |
| [06:58] | From the rubber ball? | 轮胎行业舞会上的那个 |
| [06:59] | Ah, I am a Firestone, of Firestone Rubber. | 我是费尔斯通家族 做轮胎的 |
| [07:02] | She is an Elmer, of Elmer’s Glue. | 她是艾尔默家族 弄胶水的 |
| [07:05] | When our families realized | 当我们双方的家人意识到 |
| [07:06] | I was rubber and she was glue… | 我是橡胶她是胶水时 |
| [07:08] | 小孩吵架俗语 我是橡皮你是胶水 你骂我的话都反弹回去粘在你身上 | |
| [07:08] | Well! | 可想而知 |
| [07:12] | But I don’t have time to give you a makeover. | 我可没时间给你弄什么大改造 |
| [07:14] | I’m getting married in two days. | 两天后我就要结婚了 |
| [07:17] | You know what, Joy? We’ll give him a makeover. | 这样吧乔依 大改造这事儿交给我们了 |
| [07:18] | – You will? – Yeah, why not. | -你们愿意 -是啊 为什么不 |
| [07:19] | We like a good challenge. | 我们就爱改造歪瓜裂枣 |
| [07:21] | It’s like My Fair Lady. | 简直就是《窈窕淑女》的剧情啊 |
| [07:23] | Eliza Doolittle me! | 给我来个伊莉莎·杜利特尔那一套 |
| [07:24] | I’m a good girl, I am! | 我是好妹子 好妹子就是我 |
| [07:28] | What’s going on in here? | 这里在闹什么呢 |
| [07:31] | Holy moly! Twins! | 我勒个去 双胞胎 |
| [07:37] | What was that fight about? | 我们当年到底是为什么吵架来着 |
| [07:40] | Was it when I shot you in the shoulder? | 是因为那次我开枪打中你肩膀吗 |
| [07:43] | Oh, no, you were drunk. | 不是 你那时喝醉了 |
| [07:46] | I’m sure our fight happened when we were sober. | 我确信吵架那会儿我们都是清醒的 |
| [07:49] | Well, that narrows it down. | 很好 那范围一下就缩小很多了 |
| [07:52] | Oh, really, mom? | 真的吗 老妈 |
| [07:54] | You can’t make it in time to the wedding? | 婚礼你不能及时赶到了吗 |
| [07:57] | Oh, I’m so disappointed. | 真是太让我失望了 |
| [07:58] | Yes! | 好棒 |
| [08:01] | Well, we’re traveling the world. | 我们要进行全球旅行 |
| [08:02] | Of course we’ll stop in london. | 伦敦当然是必经的一站了 |
| [08:05] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [08:06] | You know, with that accent and figure, | 知道吗 你这口音和身段 |
| [08:09] | You remind me of a– | 让我想到一位… |
| [08:11] | a gorgeous british movie star. | 风华绝代的英国影星 |
| [08:12] | Oh, um, oh, well what’s the name? | 那叫谁来着 |
| [08:15] | Kate Beckinsale? | 凯特·贝金赛尔 |
| [08:19] | No. | 不是 |
| [08:21] | Who am I thinking of? | 我想的是谁来着 |
| [08:22] | – Hugh Grant. – Bingo! | -男星休·格兰特 -答对了 |
| [08:30] | All right, artie, now you walk into the bar | 阿蒂 这时你走进酒吧 |
| [08:31] | and scan the room. | 然后环顾四周 |
| [08:36] | Now you spot a beautiful woman at the bar. | 最终目光落在吧台的一位美女身上 |
| [08:38] | You approach, say hello, | 你慢慢靠近 打个招呼 |
| [08:40] | and then say the first thing that comes to mind. | 然后说出脑中的第一个念头 |
| [08:44] | – Hello. – Hello. | -你好 -你好 |
| [08:46] | I wonder how you’d look in a vat of creamed corn. | 我想把你泡在一大桶奶油玉米里 |
| [08:53] | The second thing that comes to mind. | 还是说第二个念头吧 |
| [08:55] | A vat of baked beans. | 泡在一大桶酱汁烤豆里 |
| [08:58] | No vats. Third thing. | 忘掉桶 换第三个念头 |
| [09:00] | I bet I could fit your whole head in my mouth! | 我打赌我能把你整个脑袋含进嘴里 |
| [09:04] | Fourth thing. | 第四个念头 |
| [09:05] | You’re a beautiful woman, | 你真是一位迷人的女士 |
| [09:07] | yet there’s a sadness behind your eyes. | 但在你的眼中我却看到了忧伤 |
| [09:10] | May I buy you a drink? | 可以请你喝一杯吗 |
| [09:13] | Yes! That’s it! | 太好了 就是这样 |
| [09:15] | Artie, when you’re with a woman, | 阿蒂 当你和女人在一起时 |
| [09:17] | say only the fourth thing that comes to mind. | 只许跟她说你的第四个念头 |
| [09:19] | By george, I think I’ve got it! | 天呐 我觉得我学会了 |
| [09:22] | And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to use the… | 好了 失陪一下 我要去一趟… |
| [09:27] | men’s room. | 男厕所 |
| [09:34] | That was incredible. | 刚才真是欲仙欲死 |
| [09:36] | – Wanna hear some music? – Sure. | -想来点音乐吗 -好啊 |
| [09:43] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么啊 |
| [09:44] | Don’t tell me I’m the first man | 别告诉我 我是第一个 |
| [09:45] | you’ve been with who plays the post-coital ukulele. | 上床后给你弹乌克丽丽的男人 |
| [09:50] | Any requests? | 想点歌吗 |
| [09:52] | Do you know the refrain from playing? | 《别再弹了》这首怎么样 |
| [09:58] | Why do I smell bananas? | 怎么有香蕉的味道 |
| [10:00] | I lit my monkey candle. | 我点了小猴蜡烛 |
| [10:03] | But a monkey doesn’t smell like a banana. | 但是猴子不应该是香蕉味儿啊 |
| [10:06] | You want it to smell like burning monkeys? | 你想闻烧焦的猴子味儿吗 |
| [10:12] | – You’re adorable. – I know. | -你真可爱 -我知道 |
| [10:14] | You know, if I weren’t already marrying you, | 要不是我已经要嫁给你了 |
| [10:16] | I’d want to marry you. | 你可爱得也让我想嫁你 |
| [10:22] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [10:24] | Three months. | 就三个月而已 |
| [10:27] | Hey, I finished writing my wedding vows this afternoon. | 我今天下午把结婚誓词写好了 |
| [10:29] | – You wanna hear ’em? – No, they’ll only make me cry. | -你要听吗 -不要 我听了准哭 |
| [10:32] | Would you rather I played my ukulele again? | 那你宁愿听我弹乌克丽丽琴吗 |
| [10:34] | Let’s hear those vows! | 还是听结婚誓词吧 |
| [10:38] | “Joy. | 乔依 |
| [10:40] | From this day on, I choose you to be my wife. | 从今日起 我选你做我的妻子 |
| [10:42] | I pledge to kiss you slowly, to be food for your soul, | 我将轻轻吻你 饲你心灵 |
| [10:46] | to sleep in your arms, to comfort you with my body, | 睡在你的臂弯 用我之身带给你欢愉 |
| [10:49] | just as you promise to comfort me with yours, | 如同你承诺带给我欢愉那般 |
| [10:52] | and we both promise to comfort no others for the rest of eternity.” | 我们都承诺仅带给彼此欢愉 终生不渝 |
| [10:56] | Wait, did you just say | 等等 刚才那段是说 |
| [10:58] | I can’t sleep with other men after you’re gone? | 你死了以后我不能和其他男人上床吗 |
| [11:01] | Well, for, you know, eternity. | 终生嘛 |
| [11:05] | I’m not gonna have any sex either. | 我也不会和谁上床了啊 |
| [11:06] | Because you’ll be dead! | 因为到时候你已经死了 |
| [11:09] | Okay, what if I promise to observe a proper grieving period? | 好吧 我答应为你守节一段时间怎么样 |
| [11:13] | How about six months? | 6个月成吗 |
| [11:14] | – 30 years. – Nine months. | -30年 -9个月 |
| [11:16] | Two years! And nothing below the belt. | 2年 而且必须死守腰部以下部位 |
| [11:19] | One year, final offer. | 1年 没得商量 |
| [11:21] | Okay, one year, but you have to promise me, | 就1年 但是你要答应我 |
| [11:22] | the first person you have sex with again, | 你和第一个男人上床时 |
| [11:24] | You have to cry out my name. | 你得喊我的名字 |
| [11:25] | oh, George. | 噢 乔治 |
| [11:27] | No, more like, “Oh! George!” | 应该是 哦! 乔治! |
| [11:32] | Unless his name is George, and then, silence. | 要是他也叫乔治 那别出声就好 |
| [11:39] | Melanie, you’re so beautiful, | 梅兰妮 你真美 |
| [11:41] | I’d like to keep you in my basement. | 我想把你锁在我的地下室 |
| [11:46] | That was your third thought, wasn’t it? | 这是你的第三个念头 是不是 |
| [11:48] | Yes. I need the fingers. | 没错 我得用手指数清楚 |
| [11:53] | You look breathtaking tonight. | 你今晚美得动人心魂 |
| [11:55] | Aw, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [11:56] | Fourth-thought Artie is a very charming guy. | 第四个念头的阿蒂还是很有魅力的 |
| [11:59] | This is what I was afraid of! | 我就怕这个 |
| [12:01] | You created the perfect man, | 你创造了一个完美男人 |
| [12:02] | and now you’ve fallen in love with your creation. | 然后就爱上了你的作品 |
| [12:06] | No, I have not. | 我真没有 |
| [12:07] | You hide it well. | 你掩饰得不错 |
| [12:09] | And we’re done. | 谈话就此结束 |
| [12:12] | Your perfect woman is at the bar, | 你的完美女人就在吧台边上 |
| [12:13] | Tearing up over the bachelor. No wedding ring. | 单身 对男人大送秋波 |
| [12:16] | She’s already had two glasses of Pinot. | 她已经两杯皮诺酒下肚 |
| [12:18] | Ah, make that three. | 第三杯了 |
| [12:21] | Okay, you got your lady, now give us the shirt. | 行了 女人给你找到了 衬衫拿来 |
| [12:23] | Not until the deal is sealed, but here’s a picture of it | 事还没成可不能给 我这有一张 |
| [12:26] | with today’s newspaper, so you know it’s still alive. | 衬衫和今天报纸的合照 它还好着呢 |
| [12:32] | Okay, she’s drunk, he’s rich. | 一个醉女郎 一个有钱佬 |
| [12:33] | It could work. | 或许真能擦出火花 |
| [12:36] | Melanie, we pulled it off. | 梅兰妮 我们真做到了 |
| [12:38] | We’ve actually made artie palatable to women. | 我们把阿蒂都改造成女人能接受的男人了 |
| [12:41] | I’m five feet away, and thank you! | 我就坐在这儿呢 我听到了 谢谢啊 |
| [12:49] | – Jacob! – Edward! | -雅各布好 -爱德华帅 |
| [12:52] | – Tupac! – Biggie! | -图派克牛 -大个儿棒 |
| [12:55] | Look, I-I don’t mean to butt in, but you two | 听着 我无意插嘴 不过你们两个 |
| [12:57] | have been fighting on either side of me for over an hour. | 已经在我耳边吵了一个多小时了 |
| [13:00] | Now Joy told me that my situation inspired your reunion. | 乔依说你们是有感于我才重聚一起的 |
| [13:04] | Do you think there’s any way that I can inspire you guys | 我能不能再激励你们两个 |
| [13:06] | to bury the hatchet? Life is short! | 言归于好呢 人生苦短啊 |
| [13:09] | Dying guy’s kinda preachy. | 要死的人还真是爱唠叨 |
| [13:12] | Did you see the cheap ring he got her? | 你看见他买的那便宜戒指了吗 |
| [13:14] | What’s he saving his money for? | 省这点钱留着干什么啊 |
| [13:17] | Well, glad I could help. | 很高兴能帮到你们 |
| [13:19] | Pay it forward, guys. | 继续发扬这种精神吧 |
| [13:22] | The bride is almost ready. | 新娘马上就好了 |
| [13:24] | 西方婚礼习俗 要有借的 蓝的 新的 旧的东西 | |
| [13:24] | She’s nervous, so she borrowed something blue | 她很紧张 所以从我的医药箱里边 |
| [13:26] | from my medicine cabinet. | 借了点蓝色的东西 |
| [13:28] | I suppose I didn’t have to announce that, | 有句话貌似我不该说出来 |
| [13:30] | But I took something orange and, well, I’m a little chatty. | 不过我也吃了点黄色的东西 所以话有点多 |
| [13:37] | – The deal is sealed. – Oh, great, thanks. | -事成了 给 -太好了 谢谢 |
| [13:40] | Uh, we’re about to have a wedding, | 我们马上就要办婚礼了 |
| [13:41] | But I’m glad that things went well last night. | 不过很高兴昨晚一切顺利哈 |
| [13:43] | No, things did not go well! | 不 昨晚可不顺利 |
| [13:46] | Yes, I got, as the bible says, “Laid,” | 没错 按照《圣经》的定义 我昨晚是「做」了 |
| [13:50] | But all that counting to four before I speak, it’s exhausting. | 但是每次说话前都得数到四 太累了 |
| [13:54] | I want a woman who loves me for myself! | 我想要一个女人 就爱真实的我 |
| [13:55] | -Like you, Victoria. – I do not love you. | -就像你 维多利亚 -我不爱你啊 |
| [13:58] | Liar! | 骗纸 |
| [14:02] | Here comes the bride! | 新娘来了哦 |
| [14:05] | All dressed in… white! | 一身 白啊 |
| [14:08] | Bold choice. | 真有勇气啊[显胖] |
| [14:11] | Where’s George? He showed up, didn’t he? | 乔治在哪呢 他来了 对吧 |
| [14:13] | I’m right here, baby. And you look insanely beautiful. | 宝贝 我在这儿呢 你美得让人目眩神迷 |
| [14:18] | And you look very handsome as well. | 你看上去也英挺动人啊 |
| [14:20] | So are you ready for three months of wedded bliss? | 你准备好要度过三个月的幸福婚姻了吗 |
| [14:22] | Absolutely. | 绝对的 |
| [14:24] | Hey, look! You found my lucky shirt! | 快看 你找到我的幸运衬衫了 |
| [14:26] | I did? | 是吗 |
| [14:28] | I did! Surprise! | 真是呢 惊喜吧 |
| [14:31] | When is the minister gonna get here? | 牧师什么时候到啊 |
| [14:33] | What time did you tell him to come? | 你让他几点到 |
| [14:35] | I thought the minister was your job. | 我还以为该你去找牧师呢 |
| [14:36] | I thought it was yours. | 我还以为是你负责 |
| [14:38] | Perhaps I can be of service. | 或许我可以帮你们主持婚礼 |
| [14:40] | Reverend Artie Firestone, Universal Life Church. | 我是环球生命教会的阿蒂·费尔斯通牧师 |
| [14:44] | I’m also a licensed mohel, | 我还是位割礼执行人 |
| [14:47] | should you feel the urge to take a little off the top. | 要不要帮你们解决一下眉头[龟头]之急啊 |
| [14:50] | – Should we? – Why not? | -行吗 -有什么不行 |
| [14:53] | Come on, everybody. I’m getting married. | 来吧姐妹们 我要结婚了 |
| [14:58] | Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today | 各位亲友 今天我们齐聚一堂 |
| [15:01] | to join this man and woman in holy matrimony. | 参加这位男士和这位女士的神圣婚礼 |
| [15:05] | Do you, Rejoyla Scroggs- | 你 瑞乔依娜·斯克罗格 |
| [15:08] | what a ghastly name– | 这名字也太难听了吧 |
| [15:11] | – Take this man, George… – Gross. | -愿意接受这位男士 乔治 -格罗斯[恶心] |
| [15:15] | George Gross, to be your lawful wedded husband, | 乔治·格罗斯 作为你的合法丈夫吗 |
| [15:18] | For better or for worse– | 祸福与共 |
| [15:22] | Sorry, I meant to turn that off. | 抱歉 我本该关机的 |
| [15:24] | – Oh, it’s my doctor. – Oh, you should take that. | -是我的医生打来的 -那你接吧 |
| [15:26] | – No, no, I could always– – No, no, no, no. | -没事 我可以不接 -别 |
| [15:27] | – It could be important. – Hmm, okay. | -可能是要紧的事 -好吧 |
| [15:30] | Hi, Dr. Marcil. | 嗨 马瑟尔医生 |
| [15:32] | No, it’s okay, I’m just getting married. | 没事 我只是在结个婚而已 |
| [15:36] | Really? Are you sure? | 真的吗 你确定吗 |
| [15:40] | That’s-oh, thank you, thank you. | 这简直… 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [15:44] | What? What is it? | 什么事 到底怎么了 |
| [15:45] | I can’t believe this. | 太不可思议了 |
| [15:46] | I just got my new blood work back, | 我最新的血样化验结果出来了 |
| [15:48] | And instead of a few months, I’ve got more like two years. | 我的寿命不止几个月 而是延长到了两年 |
| [15:52] | Really? That’s amazing! | 真的吗 太棒了 |
| [15:56] | – Two years! Wow! – Two years! | -两年耶 -整整两年 |
| [15:59] | – Two years. – Two years. | -两年 -两年 |
| [16:01] | – Not three months. – Not three months. | -不是三个月 -不止三个月 |
| [16:06] | May I continue? | 容我继续吗 |
| [16:07] | By all means. | 当然 请吧 |
| [16:10] | Hang on. | 等等 |
| [16:13] | We both said there were a lot of things | 我们都说了 有很多事情 |
| [16:15] | we could put up with for three months, | 忍三个月还勉强可以 |
| [16:16] | Like throat clearing, and monkey candles, | 比如清喉咙啦 猴子蜡烛啦 |
| [16:18] | – and ugly shirts, and– – What ugly shirt? | -暴丑的衬衫啦 -什么暴丑的衬衫 |
| [16:21] | Never mind. | 当我没说 |
| [16:22] | It’s just that now you have all this time | 不过既然现在你有两年的时间 |
| [16:25] | to do all the things on your bucket list, | 去完成遗愿清单上的各种事情 |
| [16:27] | and I don’t want to stand in your way. | 我可不想挡你的道 |
| [16:30] | Be honest with me, George. | 有话就直说吧 乔治 |
| [16:32] | Well, I guess I still would like to take a shot at | 其实我还是想试试 |
| [16:35] | sleeping with 300 women. | 御女三百的滋味 |
| [16:38] | – What? – You told me to be honest. | -什么 -不是你让我直说的嘛 |
| [16:40] | You should’ve said the fourth thing. | 你该说你的第四个念头 |
| [16:45] | Are you saying two years is too long | 你是说两年时间太长 |
| [16:48] | to have sex with just me? | 只跟我一个人做爱太单调吗 |
| [16:50] | Well, I– | 我… |
| [16:51] | What if you had six months to live? | 如果你还能活六个月呢 |
| [16:53] | Oh, it would still be you, baby. | 那我还是会和你结婚 宝贝 |
| [16:54] | Nine months? | 那九个月呢 |
| [16:56] | Y-you… | 你…吧 |
| [16:59] | Definitely you, yeah. | 绝对选你 没跑 |
| [17:01] | But come on, two years? | 但我现在可是有两年时间哎 |
| [17:04] | That’s longer than any relationship I’ve ever had. | 我都没谈过超过两年的恋爱 |
| [17:06] | It is? I didn’t know that. | 是吗 我怎么不知道 |
| [17:09] | Well, there’s lots of things I don’t know about you. | 我不了解你的地方太多了 |
| [17:13] | When Joy and I were engaged, | 乔依和我订婚的时候 |
| [17:14] | we knew everything about each other. | 我们对彼此了如指掌 |
| [17:17] | Wait a minute, you two were engaged? | 等等 你们两个竟然订过婚 |
| [17:19] | It was for a green card, not for love. | 是为了拿绿卡 不是因为爱情 |
| [17:21] | Liar! | 骗纸 |
| [17:24] | Well, I guess there’s some things I don’t know about you too. | 看来你身上也有我不了解的地方 |
| [17:27] | We’re rushing into something | 我们本来还急着结婚 |
| [17:28] | that doesn’t need rushing into anymore. | 现在也没必要着急了 |
| [17:32] | Look, Joy, I don’t know how all this is going to play out, | 乔依 我不知道这事该怎么收场 |
| [17:33] | but in a year, if you’re still available, | 但如果一年以后 你还是单身 |
| [17:36] | do you think maybe I could– | 你觉得我可以… |
| [17:37] | Come and see me again? | 跟我再续前缘吗 |
| [17:39] | Yes, but not in that hideous shirt. | 行 但千万别穿那件丑到爆的衬衫 |
| [17:43] | Fair enough. One last kiss? | 好吧 来个临别拥吻 |
| [17:53] | By the power vested in me, | 我以赋予我的权力 |
| [17:55] | I now pronounce you not man and wife. | 宣布你们没有结为夫妻 |
| [17:59] | And as a licensed mohel, I will cut the cake. | 而作为割礼执行人 我来切蛋糕 |
| [18:06] | Well, it’s officially my second failed wedding, | 这正式成为我的第二次失败婚礼了 |
| [18:09] | only this time I’m twice as old. So, you know… | 只不过这次我的年纪翻了一倍 所以… |
| [18:13] | it’s not so sad. | 算不上很悲哀 |
| [18:18] | Well, we’re off to the ballgame. | 我们要去看球赛了 |
| [18:20] | – Have fun. – Go Indians! | -玩个痛快 -印地安人队加油 |
| [18:21] | Indians? Sweetheart, I root for the Reds. | 印第安人 亲爱的 我可是红人队球迷 |
| [18:26] | That was our fight! | 我们当时就是因为这个闹翻的 |
| [18:28] | 1972, you ditched Cleveland to root for Cincinnati! | 1972年 你抛弃克利夫兰 转而支持辛辛那提 |
| [18:33] | Because the Indians sucked | 因为印第安人弱爆了 |
| [18:35] | ever since they traded Rocky Colavito! | 他们把洛基·柯拉维托交易走之后就一蹶不振 |
| [18:37] | Gaylord Perry took the Cy young that year! | 盖罗德·派瑞那年可是拿了赛扬奖 |
| [18:37] | 美国职棒大联盟 每年颁给投手的一项荣耀 | |
| [18:40] | Perry! That dirty pitcher! | 派瑞 那个阴险的投手 |
| [18:42] | That man had more vaseline on his balls | 他涂在棒球上的凡士林 |
| [18:44] | than Elton John uses to squeeze into his show pants. | 比艾尔顿·约翰为塞进演出服里而涂得还多 |
| [18:50] | Come on, we’re gonna miss the first pitch. | 快点 再不走就要错过第一次投球了 |
| [18:52] | Well, age before beauty. | 长者优先 |
| [18:55] | I’m two minutes younger, you know? | 我比你年轻两分钟 |
| [18:56] | The happiest two minutes of mom’s life. | 那两分钟是妈妈生命中最快乐的时光 |
| [19:00] | I should’ve strangled you while we were | 当时还在娘胎里的时候 |
| [19:01] | still in the womb and I had the chance. | 我就该找机会把你掐死 |
| [19:04] | By the way, you are buying the hot dogs. | 对了 今天你来买热狗 |
| [19:06] | Oh, speaking of hot dogs, | 说起热狗 |
| [19:08] | Your head is pulled tighter than a Ballpark Frank. | 你脸上的皮绷得比法兰克球场热狗还紧 |
| [19:11] | And full of just as much crap. | 里面包了一堆烂肉 |
| [19:15] | You still like mustard? | 你还是喜欢加芥末吗 |