时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:00] | Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience. | 《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的 |
[00:07] | Stop! | 别吵 |
[00:09] | One at a time, tell me | 挨个说 一五一十地告诉我 |
[00:11] | what the hell just happened in my church. | 刚刚在我的教堂里闹的是哪一出 |
[00:14] | Joy, why don’t you start? | 乔依 就从你开始吧 |
[00:17] | I’m sorry we spoiled Wilbur’s christening. | 很抱歉威尔伯的洗礼让我们给搞砸了 |
[00:19] | But, as usual, it was all my mother’s fault. | 一如既往 想都不用想 要赖就赖我妈 |
[00:21] | Oh, twaddle. | 真是屁话 |
[00:24] | You did drop a rather large bombshell. | 那则”爆炸新闻”的确是你爆料的 |
[00:26] | Please, I lived through the Blitz. | 拜托 伦敦大轰炸我都活过来了 |
[00:28] | Bombshells were dropping everywhere. | 炸弹那是左一个右一个 |
[00:30] | People dying. | 天天死人啊 |
[00:32] | Did anyone die today? | 今天死人了吗 |
[00:35] | Not yet. | 暂时还没有 |
[00:37] | Obviously, there’s a history of conflict issues here. | 很显然 你们母女这矛盾由来已久啊 |
[00:40] | As a trained counselor, perhaps I can help. | 我接受过心理培训 也许我能帮上忙 |
[00:42] | Fine. I welcome having a neutral observer | 那好吧 双手赞成加入个中立观察员 |
[00:44] | because I know I’ll win! | 因为我是赢定了 |
[00:46] | And I have utter confidence that the ruling | 我有十足把握最后的有利裁定 |
[00:48] | will be in my favor. | 肯定属于我这边 |
[00:49] | There’s no ruling or winning. | 不存在什么裁定或赢家 |
[00:51] | This is a House of God, not The Voice. | 这里是上帝的殿堂 不是《美国好声音》 |
[00:55] | Let’s remember, we’re all here for the love of this baby. | 别忘了 我们相聚一堂是为了这个小宝宝 |
[00:58] | A baby that, until two weeks ago, | 这个宝宝 直到两周前 |
[01:01] | Rejoyla hadn’t even told me existed. | 瑞乔依娜才跟我提起他 |
[01:04] | So, point for me. | 所以 我得一分 |
[01:06] | There are no points. | 我们这不计分 |
[01:07] | But if there were, I’d have one. | 如果有计的话 我就能得一分 |
[01:11] | Technically, two. | 理论上来说 两分 |
[01:12] | She didn’t tell you about Owen, either. | 欧文的事她也没告诉你 |
[01:14] | Whose side are you on? | 你到底站哪边的 |
[01:16] | If you have to ask… | 这还用问吗 |
[01:19] | Could we please just start at the beginning? | 我们还是从头重新捋一捋吧 |
[01:21] | Joy. | 乔依 |
[01:23] | Owen and I needed a church for the christening, | 欧文和我需要找个教堂给宝宝做洗礼 |
[01:25] | and Elka kindly suggested this one. | 爱尔卡好心地建议你们这座 |
[01:28] | I think this church is lovely. | 我觉得这教堂很不错 |
[01:30] | Do you think your mom’ll like it? | 你觉得你妈妈会喜欢这里吗 |
[01:31] | I hope so. | 希望吧 |
[01:32] | Oh, I’m so looking forward to my dear mother’s arrival. | 我好期待能见到我亲爱的妈咪 |
[01:36] | Liar! You never said any such thing. | 骗子 你怎么会说这种话 |
[01:39] | Well, maybe I didn’t use those exact words. | 可能在些许词语上面有些出入吧 |
[01:42] | But that was the gist. | 领会要点就好 |
[01:45] | I think this church is lovely. | 我觉得这教堂很不错 |
[01:46] | Do you think your mom’ll like it? | 你觉得你妈妈会喜欢这里吗 |
[01:47] | I hope so. | 希望吧 |
[01:49] | Now, if the Xanax I took will just kick in, | 如果我服用的镇定药能快速起效 |
[01:50] | maybe I can get through one visit with my mother | 或许我妈这次的造访 |
[01:52] | without blowing my brain out. | 不会把我的头搞炸 |
[01:55] | She can’t be that bad. | 她没那么糟吧 |
[01:57] | Poor little lamb. | 可怜的小乖乖 |
[01:58] | Raised by kind people. | 被善良的父母拉扯大 |
[02:00] | You have no natural defenses. | 一点防御意识都没有啊 |
[02:02] | Which is why I’ve made you this list. | 所以我给你事先列了个表 |
[02:05] | It’s all the lies you’ll have to memorize before she gets here. | 她来之前 你务必把这些谎言都给背熟了 |
[02:08] | I’m a board-certified cardiologist? | 我是一名持证的心脏病专家 |
[02:11] | Also right-handed. | 而且惯用右手 |
[02:13] | She thinks lefties are lazy. | 她觉得左撇子都是懒人 |
[02:16] | What if she asks where I went to right-handed medical school? | 如果她问我在哪里上的右手医学院呢 |
[02:19] | Well, it’s all in the appendix. | 附录里面我都写上了 |
[02:21] | Oh, and here’s your forged prescription pad. | 还有 这是给你伪造的处方笺 |
[02:25] | Thanks for the Xanax, by the way. | 顺便感谢你给我开的镇定药 |
[02:30] | Sorry we’re late, | 抱歉来晚了 |
[02:31] | but Victoria had to tell everyone we met | 因为维多利亚要跟每个我们碰到的人 |
[02:33] | all about her famous new boyfriend, | 讲她那大明星男友的事 |
[02:35] | including the street mime. | 包括街头哑剧艺人 |
[02:36] | He asked. | 他主动问的 |
[02:38] | Okay, maybe not in so many words. | 好吧 也许不是通过语言问的 |
[02:41] | That is a disgrace. | 这真是太丢人了 |
[02:43] | Oh, Elka, not this again. | 爱尔卡 现在别谈这个 |
[02:45] | She’s head of the restoration committee for the fresco, | 她是修复委员会里负责修复壁画的 |
[02:47] | and she thinks the restorer’s taking too long. | 她认为修复人员干活太磨蹭了 |
[02:49] | Well, he is. | 本来就是啊 |
[02:51] | Give me a box of paints and a six-pack of beer. | 给姐一盒颜料和半打啤酒 |
[02:54] | I’ll knock that baby out tonight. | 今晚我就给你们搞定 |
[02:58] | Reverend Lare said he was very pleased with the way the work is going. | 拉尔牧师说他对目前的修复工作还是很满意的 |
[03:01] | Oh, that old pulpit pounder | 那个整天布道的死脑筋 |
[03:03] | doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. | 地上有个洞 他屁都不懂 |
[03:06] | What I actually said was, | 其实我当时说的是 |
[03:09] | “Ask anyone, | “众人皆知 |
[03:11] | he’s the holiest man around.” | 他是世上最圣洁灵动的人” |
[03:18] | Apropos of holes in the ground, | 既然说到地上的洞 |
[03:20] | my boyfriend, Sir Emmet Lawson, is quite devoted to golf. | 我男朋友艾米特·劳森爵士非常热爱打高尔夫 |
[03:24] | You’re dating Emmet Lawson? | 你在和艾米特·劳森交往吗 |
[03:26] | Oh, if it’s a sin to love, | 如果爱情有罪 |
[03:27] | then I am guilty. | 那么我罪恶滔天 |
[03:30] | No wonder you’re upset that Melanie made you fat. | 难怪你会因为梅兰妮让你长胖而生气 |
[03:34] | What did you just call me? | 你刚才说我什么 |
[03:37] | I-I mean, uh… | 我 我是说… |
[03:39] | Point for you. | 你得一分 |
[03:41] | I thought we weren’t doing points. | 你不是说我们不计分吗 |
[03:43] | I’m on board now. | 现在开始计了 |
[03:45] | Okay, I do feel guilty that I made Victoria gain weight, | 让维多利亚长胖 我的确是挺内疚 |
[03:48] | but she just wouldn’t stop with the Sir Emmet Lawson talk. | 但她天天把艾米特·劳森爵士挂在嘴边 |
[03:52] | It gets old. | 听烦了 |
[03:53] | It really does. | 千真万确 |
[03:54] | Honest to God. | 的的又确确 |
[04:00] | It’s him. | 他打来的 |
[04:01] | My boyfriend, Sir Emmet Lawson. | 我男朋友艾米特·劳森爵士 |
[04:04] | Hello, my boyfriend Sir Emmet Lawson. | 喂 我的男朋友艾米特·劳森爵士 |
[04:08] | I’m glad she’s in love, | 我很高兴她找到了幸福 |
[04:09] | I just wish I could get her to shut up about it. | 但我真希望有办法能让她闭嘴 |
[04:12] | When I’m training dogs, | 我在训练小狗时 |
[04:13] | I use positive reinforcement. | 会采用鼓励式强化手段 |
[04:16] | Reward good behavior with a treat. | 如果它们乖乖的 就奖励食物 |
[04:19] | She is pretty suggestible. | 要说服她的确是挺容易的 |
[04:21] | But she doesn’t eat treats. | 但她基本是不吃什么东西的 |
[04:22] | Unless… | 除非 |
[04:23] | I could say my P.R. Firm | 我骗她说我的公关公司 |
[04:26] | is test-marketing an experimental weight loss treat. | 正在试销的减肥试用品 |
[04:29] | Is this a buttery caramel, | 是这种奶油太妃糖 |
[04:31] | or… is it a magic diet candy? | 或者说是魔力瘦身糖 |
[04:35] | Magic diet candy? Where? I want them. | 魔力瘦身糖 在哪 我要 |
[04:38] | Am I ever going to get a chance to speak? | 能给我一个说话的机会吗 |
[04:41] | Rejoyla always accuses me of being judgmental. | 瑞乔依娜总是指责我喜欢评判别人 |
[04:45] | And though I was a bit shocked | 尽管我是有些震惊 |
[04:47] | that my grandson out of wedlock | 毕竟我这外孙是未婚先诞生的 |
[04:50] | had his own son out of wedlock, | 长大后又是未婚先有子 |
[04:52] | one must go with the times. | 但做人要与时俱进 |
[04:55] | So I arrived for my visit | 所以我还是来了 |
[04:57] | as an open and loving grandmother. | 多么开明慈祥的外婆啊 |
[05:01] | Oh, there’s the little bastard! | 瞧这小混蛋[私生子] |
[05:17] | Seriously, Mother? | 不是吧你 妈 |
[05:18] | “Little bastard”? | 小混蛋 |
[05:21] | It’s still better than Wilbur. | 那也比”威尔伯”这名字好听 |
[05:28] | Baby can’t understand a word I’m saying. | 小宝宝又听不懂我说什么 |
[05:32] | Can he, Doctor? | 是吧 医生 |
[05:34] | Who? | 谁 |
[05:36] | Yes, yes, of course. | 是的 当然听不懂 |
[05:38] | As a board-certified cardiologist, | 作为一个持证的心脏病专家 |
[05:40] | that’s not really my specialty. | 这还真不算是我的专业领域 |
[05:42] | It was Stanford, right? | 你是斯坦福的吧 |
[05:43] | Owen. | 欧文 |
[05:47] | I was talking about your medical school. | 我是说你的医学院 |
[05:49] | Oh, right! Of course. | 是的 当然 |
[05:51] | Big Stanford dude, yeah. | 斯坦福高才生啊 |
[05:52] | I really miss… California? | 我很怀念…加利福尼亚 |
[05:58] | You know, Philipa, your accent | 费丽帕 你的口音 |
[05:59] | is reminding me of my boyfriend, Sir Emmet Lawson. | 让我想起了我男朋友艾米特·劳森爵士 |
[06:03] | As you know, he was knighted by your queen. | 正是你们的女王给他授以爵位的 |
[06:06] | Oh, please. He’s Australian. | 拜托 他是澳大利亚人 |
[06:08] | You might as well knight a sheep. | 倒不如把一头羊封为爵士更好 |
[06:12] | But could that sheep win academy awards? | 但那头羊能获得奥斯卡金像奖吗 |
[06:15] | – And speaking of awards– – Victoria, magic diet candy? | -说到获奖… -维多利亚 魔力瘦身糖要吗 |
[06:17] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
[06:21] | Maybe you could open a bottle of wine for us. | 要不你去帮我们去开瓶酒吧 |
[06:22] | Mm, of course. | 当然可以 |
[06:24] | And while you’re in there, | 既然要去厨房 |
[06:25] | maybe a tray of hors d’oeuvres. | 顺便再弄点餐前小点好了 |
[06:26] | Great idea. | 好主意 |
[06:29] | Here is the latest edition of the baby book I used. | 这是我用过的育婴书的最新版 |
[06:33] | Let Them Cry: The British Guide to Raising Children. | 《让他们哭去吧:大不列颠育儿经》 |
[06:39] | The pages are all blank. | 里面什么内容都没有啊 |
[06:40] | You don’t read it. It’s for spanking. | 不是用来读的 是用来打屁股的 |
[06:44] | You see what I’m dealing with? | 瞧见我摊上怎样的恶魔妈妈了吧 |
[06:46] | Oh, calm down, Rejoyla. It’s a joke. | 冷静下 瑞乔依娜 玩笑而已 |
[06:50] | Laughter’s the best medicine, isn’t it, Doctor? | 笑能治百病 对吧 医生 |
[06:53] | As a board-certified cardiologist… | 作为一名持证的心脏病医师 |
[06:56] | That’s not really my specialty. | 那还真不算是我的专业领域 |
[06:58] | Now, here is baby Wilbur’s real gift. | 这才是威尔伯宝宝的礼物啦 |
[07:03] | That’s funny. | 真会开玩笑 |
[07:04] | Good one. | 厉害啊 |
[07:06] | Don’t be cheeky. | 真没礼貌 |
[07:11] | Scroggs have been christened in this gown for generations. | 斯克罗格几代人受洗时都穿着这身衣服 |
[07:15] | Yeah, but as I mentioned on the phone, | 是啊 我电话里不是跟你说了嘛 |
[07:17] | he’s wearing a simple cotton onesie. | 他只会穿件简单的棉质连体衣 |
[07:20] | Nonsense. No God-fearing priest | 胡说 没有哪个虔诚的牧师 |
[07:22] | would baptize a child in a onesie. | 会给穿着连体衣的孩子洗礼的 |
[07:26] | He’s not being baptized by a priest. | 他不会去接受牧师洗礼的 |
[07:28] | Owen is protestant. | 欧文是新教徒 |
[07:30] | What? He’s being baptized by a heretic? | 什么 他要被异教徒洗礼 |
[07:36] | Rejoyla, if this is your idea of a warm welcome, | 瑞乔依娜 这要是你热情欢迎我的方式 |
[07:38] | you have failed hideously. | 那你真是失败得一塌糊涂 |
[07:40] | Could be worse. | 可能会比这更糟呢 |
[07:41] | When I first came here last year, they shot me. | 我们初次见面时 她们还开枪射我 |
[07:45] | – What? – Owen, no. | -什么 -欧文 别说了 |
[07:46] | Accidentally, of course. Nothing serious. | 当然 是不小心走火的 不怎么严重 |
[07:50] | Although sometimes I still get a little numbness. | 虽然有时我还是会感到有些麻痹 |
[07:53] | You told me that you met Owen and Wilbur two weeks ago, | 你跟我说你是两周前遇到欧文和威尔伯的 |
[07:57] | and now I find out that you shot him last year? | 而现在我才发现你去年就开枪射了他 |
[08:01] | And you’ve been keeping my grandchildren from me | 你还不让我见我的外孙 |
[08:04] | for some whatever– ridiculous… | 就因为某些荒唐的… |
[08:07] | Oh, God, what is it now? | 老天 这回又怎么了 |
[08:10] | Oh, it’s… It’s just a chest pain. | 只是 只是胸闷 |
[08:12] | From the impact of this lie, no doubt. | 当然是被这谎言给气的 |
[08:16] | It’s nothing, it’s nothing. I’m sure it’s… | 没事 没事 我肯定… |
[08:19] | Right, Doctor? | 对吧 医生 |
[08:20] | As a board certified cardiologist, that’s… | 作为一名持证的心脏病医师 这… |
[08:22] | Oh, God, I think this actually is my specialty. | 天啊 这次还真是我的专业领域 |
[08:28] | I could have died! | 我差点就没命了 |
[08:30] | The only thing you could have died from is overacting! | 唯一会让你没命的就是大惊小怪 |
[08:32] | You’ve had more fake heart attacks than Fred Sanford! | 你假装心脏病发作的频率比弗雷德·桑福德还高 |
[08:37] | And you–how could you forget number 67 on the list– | 你也是 怎么能忘了第67条 |
[08:40] | we met two weeks ago. Number 67! | 我们两周前才相见 第67条啊 |
[08:43] | Shouldn’t that have been a little higher on the list, | 这么重要的事你就不能写得靠前点吗 |
[08:44] | like, I don’t know, maybe number one? | 比如 第一条 |
[08:47] | It was buried under an avalanche of other lies | 埋在那么一大堆谎言里让我怎么记得住 |
[08:49] | like amateur pastry chef and Manchester United fan. | 什么糕点爱好者 什么曼联的球迷 |
[08:53] | You don’t root for Man U? | 你不支持曼联吗 |
[08:55] | Shoot him again! | 再给他一枪 |
[08:58] | This is fun. I’m glad I stayed. | 真逗 幸好姐留下来看戏了 |
[09:04] | I don’t know why we are focusing on these harmless lies | 真不明白这些无伤大雅的谎话有什么好纠结的 |
[09:06] | when one of us has been literally disfigured! | 我们之中可有人真得被毁容了啊 |
[09:12] | Who was disfigured? | 谁被毁容了 |
[09:13] | Me! | 我 |
[09:14] | I gained three pounds on those candies. | 我因为吃糖胖了3磅 |
[09:17] | Five. I turned your scale back. | 是5磅 我把刻度往回调了点 |
[09:20] | Damn her. Damn her to hell. | 快诅咒她 让她下地狱 |
[09:23] | He can’t. | 他办不到 |
[09:24] | He’s protestant. | 他是新教徒 |
[09:25] | It’s all carrot and no stick with these people. | 这帮人只会给甜头 不会给惩罚 |
[09:29] | Victoria, I’m sorry. | 维多利亚 对不起 |
[09:30] | I just wanted you to stop talking about Emmet. | 我只是想让你别再提艾米特了 |
[09:33] | I guess I got carried away. | 我就是手段有点过火了而已 |
[09:34] | I did unspeakable things for you. | 我为你做牛做马的 |
[09:37] | Thank you for going to the post office. | 谢谢你辛苦跑了趟邮局 |
[09:38] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
[09:40] | It’s my dress for the christening. | 这是我受洗时要穿的衣服 |
[09:42] | It’s the one the good wife wore to visit big in prison. | 好老婆去监狱看汉子就该穿这身 |
[09:44] | No, no. No, that’s the same dress that I ordered | 不是吧 我也订了件一模一样的 |
[09:47] | to wear to the christening. | 准备受洗时穿的 |
[09:48] | Oh, dear, what a dilemma. | 天呐 那就尴尬了 |
[09:50] | Whatever shall we do? | 这可怎么办啊 |
[10:00] | Why don’t you wear the dress this time, | 要不这次就让你穿吧 |
[10:02] | because I’m gonna be so thin, | 吃了这些瘦身糖后 |
[10:03] | I won’t be able to fit into mine after all that diet candy. | 瘦下来的我穿这些衣服可能就不合身了 |
[10:06] | Oh, thank you. You’re the best! | 谢谢你 你最好了 |
[10:10] | You’re a good girl. Yes, you are. | 你可真乖 小乖乖 |
[10:16] | Maybe you could steam it for me too? | 要不再顺便帮我烫一下吧 |
[10:24] | Don’t you think you’re abusing Victoria just a little? | 你不觉得你虐维多利亚虐过头了吗 |
[10:28] | Don’t you see how pleasant she’s being? | 你没看出来她很开心吗 |
[10:30] | It wasn’t a criticism. | 我又不是在批评你 |
[10:34] | So what are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
[10:36] | Oh, I’m just looking at some of my old paintings. | 就看看我以前画的油画 |
[10:39] | What, you did these? | 什么 这些是你画的 |
[10:40] | I did all the artwork in this house. | 屋子里的画都是我画的 |
[10:42] | That’s amazing! | 真是了不起 |
[10:44] | Oh, I wish I could paint like this. | 真希望我也能画得这么好 |
[10:46] | Well, you can. | 你可以的 |
[10:47] | It’s as easy as one, two, three. | 这就跟123一样简单 |
[10:49] | One is yellow, two is blue, and three is red. | 1是黄色 2是蓝色 3是红色[美术三原色] |
[10:55] | Wait a minute. | 慢着 |
[10:56] | We have paint-by-number art on our walls? | 我们墙上挂的是数字油画吗 |
[10:58] | Have you forgotten that I am dating Sir Emmet Lawson? | 你们难道忘了我在和艾米特·劳森爵士交往吗 |
[11:01] | I don’t think anyone can forget that. | 我觉得大家想忘也忘不了 |
[11:04] | And don’t you have bigger things to worry about… | 你就没有更重要的事要操心吗 |
[11:08] | Tubby? | 肥婆 |
[11:12] | How can my skirt be tighter than I remember? | 我的裙子什么时候变这么紧了 |
[11:14] | I’ve been eating a ton of magic diet candy. | 我都吃了这么多魔力瘦身糖了 |
[11:17] | Well, the way the magic works | 魔力的效果是这样的 |
[11:18] | is sometimes you gain a teeny bit of weight in the beginning, | 有时候一开始你会长点肉 |
[11:21] | but you’ll definitely start losing it. | 然后就开始死命瘦 |
[11:23] | I can barely breathe in this thing! | 我穿上这个都喘不过气儿了 |
[11:26] | Melanie, pray with me that the candy kicks in soon. | 梅兰妮 和我一起祈祷 让这糖赶快见效 |
[11:30] | Dear lord… | 亲爱的主啊 |
[11:32] | Please look with favor on the magic candy | 请赐给这魔力瘦身糖以奇效吧 |
[11:35] | of my dear friend Melanie, your servant– | 我和我最好的朋友梅兰妮 您的仆人 |
[11:36] | Okay, Victoria, stop. | 好了 维多利亚 别说了 |
[11:37] | Stop before I get hit by lighting. | 以免我日后遭雷劈 |
[11:41] | I’m gonna tell you something. | 我有件事要跟你坦白 |
[11:43] | Jesus! | 上帝啊 |
[11:48] | Is lord. | 主显灵了 |
[11:53] | All right, | 好吧 |
[11:54] | now we’re up to the christening part. | 现在说到洗礼的事了 |
[11:56] | And you know how well that went. | 过程有多么”顺利”你们也清楚 |
[11:58] | Mrs. Scroggs, will your husband be joining us? | 斯克罗格夫人 你丈夫会来吗 |
[12:01] | Hard to say. | 说不准 |
[12:01] | He went out for groceries 30 years ago. | 他30年前说是要出门买杂货 |
[12:04] | Haven’t heard from him since. | 之后便杳无音讯了 |
[12:07] | Another fun fact. | 还有件有趣的事 |
[12:08] | Both Owen and the baby were born out of wedlock. | 欧文和他那宝宝都是未婚先孕的结果 |
[12:14] | Well, at least there’s one innocent among us. | 好吧 至少我们之中还有一个纯洁的 |
[12:17] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[12:19] | I was referring to the baby. | 我指的是这宝宝 |
[12:22] | Well, you certainly couldn’t have been referring to Melanie. | 你肯定指的不是梅兰妮 |
[12:25] | She’s a sinner and a liar and a betrayer. | 她是个罪人 骗子 叛徒 |
[12:28] | Getting you to shut up about your boyfriend | 能让你消停会儿不拿你男友说事 |
[12:29] | was worth a few bags of candy. | 几袋糖也值得 |
[12:31] | Bags? | 几袋 |
[12:32] | Oh, my… | 我的天… |
[12:34] | Shall we begin the christening? | 我们能开始洗礼仪式了吗 |
[12:36] | Is it really a christening | 这还能称得上洗礼吗 |
[12:37] | if the baby shows up in a dingy old nappy? | 宝宝可还都裹着脏尿布呢 |
[12:40] | Again, Wilbur is wearing a onesie. | 再次强调 威尔伯穿的是婴儿连体服 |
[12:43] | He’s comfortable. | 他这样很舒服 |
[12:44] | When you ask God to free your child from original sin, | 当你请求上帝洗清你孩子身上的原罪时 |
[12:47] | you should be worried about making him look his best, | 就该把他收拾得漂漂亮亮的 |
[12:50] | not how quickly you can unsnap his crotch! | 而不是图让他撒尿方便 |
[12:54] | Mother, this is what Owen wants. | 妈 欧文就希望这样 |
[12:57] | Actually, Owen just wants this to be over. | 实际上 欧文希望这仪式能快点结束 |
[12:59] | Rejoyla, I simply don’t understand why you dismiss | 瑞乔依娜 我实在不明白我为你做了这么多 |
[13:02] | all my wishes after everything I’ve done for you. | 你为什么非要跟我对着干 |
[13:05] | Everything you’ve done for me? Oh, please. | 你为我做了这么多 省省吧 |
[13:08] | Name one thing you’ve ever done for me. | 你倒是说出一样来试试 |
[13:10] | Saved you from a miserable marriage | 帮你悬崖勒马 阻止你和那个 |
[13:12] | to that teenage hooligan who got you pregnant. | 搞大你肚子的小流氓开始一段悲惨的婚姻 |
[13:14] | Oh, what are you talking about? | 你在胡说些什么 |
[13:15] | Simon never asked me to marry him. | 西蒙从未向我求过婚 |
[13:17] | Because I stopped him! | 因为我阻止他了啊 |
[13:20] | What? | 什么 |
[13:21] | – What? – What? | -什么 -什么 |
[13:25] | 与《戴荆冠耶稣》壁画被西班牙 一个老太太野蛮修复后的效果相似 | |
[13:33] | It’s a miracle! | 真是神迹啊 |
[13:42] | She completely changed the course of my life | 她连问都没问过我一句 |
[13:44] | without even consulting me. | 就改变了我的整个人生 |
[13:45] | I thought Simon abandoned me. | 我一直以为是西蒙抛弃了我 |
[13:47] | Which is probably what messed up | 或许正是因为这凄惨的经历 |
[13:48] | my relationship with men ever since. | 才导致此后我的感情路一直不顺遂 |
[13:50] | She’s right. | 她说得没错 |
[13:52] | She cannot pick ’em. | 她在挑男人方面是真瞎 |
[13:55] | Owen, would you please take Wilbur to the altar? | 欧文 麻烦你把威尔伯抱到圣坛好吗 |
[13:57] | We’ll be there soon. | 我们一会儿就过去 |
[13:59] | So, we’re still doing this? | 还要做洗礼吗 |
[14:01] | I may do it twice. | 可能得做两次 |
[14:03] | This kid could use the protection. | 这孩子需要更多点保护 |
[14:07] | Now, I’m going to dispense with the lesser transgressions first. | 现在我先来解决较轻的罪行 |
[14:10] | Melanie, what you did was wrong. | 梅兰妮 你做得不对 |
[14:13] | You can make it up to Victoria by doing her bidding for a week. | 罚你这一周都听维多利亚指挥 |
[14:16] | And listening to her endless Emmet Lawson stories. | 听她讲艾米特·劳森的各种事迹 |
[14:21] | So a normal week. | 跟之前也没区别 |
[14:26] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[14:34] | Now you. | 现在到你 |
[14:40] | You turned St. John into a monkey. | 你把圣约翰画成了猴子 |
[14:43] | In my defense, the Bible never said what he looked like. | 我得辩解下 《圣经》里也没说他长什么样啊 |
[14:48] | It would have if he looked like a monkey. | 要是长得像猴子 肯定会提一下的 |
[14:51] | Now, rather than restore the painting, | 我们不打算修复画像 |
[14:53] | we’re gonna go with the whole animal motif | 决定就顺着动物这个主题 |
[14:54] | and turn it into a Noah’s ark thing. | 索性弄成诺亚方舟之类的壁画 |
[14:56] | Fine. I’ll get my brushes. | 好吧 我去拿刷子 |
[14:59] | No, you won’t. You won’t. | 不 不用了 不劳驾你了 |
[15:00] | We’re gonna hire a real artist. | 我们会请一个真正的画家 |
[15:02] | I know just the artist. | 我刚好认识一个特好的 |
[15:04] | It’s not you. | 不是你 |
[15:06] | Fine. | 不要拉倒 |
[15:08] | I’ll take my talent to the temple down the street. | 我去街尾的犹太会堂施展才华好了 |
[15:12] | Shalom. | 再见[希伯来语] |
[15:17] | Now to the heart of the matter. | 好了 现在处理关键问题 |
[15:18] | Finally. | 总算到了 |
[15:20] | Simon wanted to marry me, and you turned him away. | 西蒙当年想娶我 你却把他赶走了 |
[15:22] | How could you? | 你怎么能这样 |
[15:23] | You were teenagers. He didn’t have a job. | 你们还是青少年 他连工作都没有 |
[15:27] | But mostly because I knew you’d say yes. | 主要还是因为我知道你会答应 |
[15:29] | I was thinking about you. | 我确实有为你着想 |
[15:31] | But also about that little baby and what was best for him. | 但还得考虑那个孩子 怎样才对他最好 |
[15:34] | That was not your choice. | 这不该由你决定 |
[15:36] | And I think what’s best for me now is that you and I never– | 现在对我来说最好的是 你和我再也不… |
[15:39] | Joy. Excuse me. | 乔依 不好意思 |
[15:42] | Mrs. Scroggs, could you give us a moment? | 斯克罗格夫人 能让我们单独谈会吗 |
[15:44] | Fine. I was going to ask for a cigarette break anyway. | 可以 我本来就想申请暂停下 出去抽根烟 |
[15:48] | Now that I know my grandson isn’t a cardiologist, | 既然现在我知道我外孙不是心脏病医生 |
[15:51] | I feel I can smoke as much as I want. | 我想怎么抽就怎么抽 |
[15:57] | Why did you send her out? | 你为什么让她出去 |
[15:59] | I need her to hear all the ways she’s hurt me. | 我得让她知道她对我的伤害有多深 |
[16:01] | And I need for her to say she’s sorry for everything she’s done! | 我要她为她的所作所为道歉 |
[16:04] | Joy, please. | 乔依 请坐 |
[16:08] | People often ask me to mediate | 人们总是让我来调解 |
[16:10] | confrontations with their parents, | 他们和父母的冲突 |
[16:12] | hoping to get the same thing you want. | 他们的目的也和你一样 |
[16:14] | But 99 out of 100 times, what they get | 不过大部分时候 得到的却是 |
[16:17] | is a defensive, wounded parent | 充满防备心 竖起心墙的父母 |
[16:19] | who remembers things differently. | 总会有另一套说辞 |
[16:22] | And the relationship only worsens. | 关系只会进一步恶化 |
[16:24] | I’ll take those odds. And I need this. | 我愿意冒险 我需要她道歉 |
[16:28] | Look, you need to do what you think is right, but… | 听着 你有权做你认为正确的事 但是… |
[16:30] | but maybe you could take a cue from Melanie. | 或许你可以借鉴梅兰妮的做法 |
[16:33] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
[16:34] | Sometimes we get more of what we want with candy. | 有时候糖比炮弹更管用 |
[16:37] | What, so I’m just supposed to forgive her? | 怎么 难道我该就这么原谅她吗 |
[16:40] | We are pretty big on forgiveness here. | 我们这里是很推崇原谅和宽恕的 |
[16:43] | Well, can you recommend a church that’s big on revenge? | 能推荐个推崇有仇必报的教堂吗 |
[16:46] | Because I want to go there. | 我想去那种教堂 |
[16:50] | Oh, and then Emmet texted me the funniest thing from London. | 艾米特从伦敦给我发了条超有意思的短信 |
[16:53] | Wait, I want to get it word for word. | 我要逐字逐句念给你听 |
[16:57] | “I’m performing at the Old Vic, | “我正在老维多利亚剧院表演 |
[16:59] | but I’m dating the young Vic.” | 却在跟年轻的维多利亚交往” |
[17:08] | Has anyone seen Joy? | 谁看到乔依了 |
[17:10] | She’s out on the porch. | 她在外面的门廊上 |
[17:12] | Elka, you’re painting again. | 爱尔卡 你又画画呢 |
[17:15] | – It’s a present for you. – Really? | -是给你的礼物 -真的吗 |
[17:18] | It’s Wilbur, | 这是威尔伯 |
[17:19] | in the christening gown you gave him. | 穿着你送给他的洗礼服 |
[17:32] | Rejoyla. | 瑞乔依娜 |
[17:36] | We have to talk sometime. | 迟早我们都要谈谈的 |
[17:38] | Well, I definitely have something to say to you. | 我确实有话要跟你说 |
[17:44] | Go ahead. Let me have it. | 说吧 狂风暴雨我都认了 |
[17:47] | What I want to say is… | 我想说的是… |
[17:49] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
[17:52] | What? | 什么 |
[17:53] | You were right. | 你说得对 |
[17:55] | I would have married Simon, it wouldn’t have lasted, | 如果你不阻止 我会嫁给西蒙 肯定长久不了 |
[17:57] | and I would’ve been a single mother. | 我现在就是单亲妈妈了 |
[18:00] | You knew how hard that was, | 你知道当单亲妈妈有多难 |
[18:01] | and you wanted to spare me. | 你不想我受同样的苦 |
[18:04] | And also… | 并且… |
[18:06] | Although I haven’t exactly enjoyed | 虽然我不喜欢 |
[18:08] | your constant, lifelong criticism, | 你对我的过度苛求和批评 |
[18:11] | I do realize it’s because you want the best for me. | 我知道你确实是为我好 |
[18:15] | And that’s all you’ve ever wanted. | 一心一意只为了我好 |
[18:23] | All clean. | 洗干净了 |
[18:26] | Boy, kids are a lot of work. | 天呐 养育小孩太艰辛了 |
[18:31] | Owen, | 欧文 |
[18:32] | would you mind a bit of advice? | 我给你点建议好吗 |
[18:35] | Okay, sure. | 好吧 当然 |
[18:38] | When he gets older and makes mistakes, | 等他长大了 犯错误时 |
[18:41] | don’t be too hard on him. | 不要对他太苛刻 |
[18:43] | Children aren’t perfect, | 孩子们并不完美 |
[18:45] | but they don’t need to know that you know that. | 但他们不需要知道你知晓这点 |
[18:47] | The world will tell him he has flaws. | 世界会让他认识自己的缺陷 |
[18:51] | Try to be the one that looks at him | 尽力做他身边那个 |
[18:53] | with the kindest eyes. | 最能包容他的人就好 |
[19:00] | Oh, it’s getting a bit chilly. | 这还真有点冷 |
[19:03] | I need a sweater. | 我得加件外套 |
[19:06] | Can I get you anything, Joy? | 你需要什么吗 乔依 |
[19:08] | No, Mom. | 不用 妈 |
[19:10] | I think I got everything I need. | 我想我已经拥有我所需的一切了 |