| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience. | 《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的 |
| [00:06] | You two are suspiciously quiet. | 你们两个这么安静 惹人起疑啊 |
| [00:08] | What are you up to? | 你们在密谋什么 |
| [00:09] | We’re thinking of jokes. | 我们在想笑话 |
| [00:11] | Craig Olson at the senior center is turning 100. | 老年中心的克雷格·奥尔森快100岁了 |
| [00:14] | Elka and I are doing a roast. | 爱尔卡和我打算拿他开开涮 |
| [00:17] | A roast? | 拿他开涮 |
| [00:19] | At that age, are you sure it isn’t a cremation? | 都那把年纪了 确定是开涮不是火葬吗 |
| [00:23] | So what do you have so far? | 你们现在想到什么了 |
| [00:25] | “I’m not saying Craig has an enlarged prostate, | “我可没说克雷格前列腺肥大 |
| [00:28] | but if he put a hat on it, | 但如果他给前列腺戴个帽子 |
| [00:30] | he could drive in the carpool lane.” | 他就能在共乘车道上开车了” |
| [00:32] | 要求车内有多人才能使用的车道 目的是鼓励共乘 减少堵塞和污染 | |
| [00:34] | Boom. | 给力 |
| [00:37] | My turn. | 轮到我了 |
| [00:39] | “I’m not saying Craig loves going on cruises, | “我可没说克雷格喜欢乘船到处游览 |
| [00:41] | but last month he went to the Bahamas.” | 但上个月他跑到巴哈马群岛去了” |
| [00:48] | See, it’s funny because it’s true. | 瞧 笑点在于这事是真的 |
| [00:52] | Mamie, in a roast you’re supposed to take | 梅米 当你要拿别人开涮的时候 |
| [00:55] | an element of the person you’re roasting | 你就要选取那个人的某项特质 |
| [00:57] | and exaggerate it for comic effect. | 然后将其夸张以达到喜剧效果 |
| [00:59] | Yeah, for instance, if I was going to roast Elka, | 没错 比如如果我要拿爱尔卡开涮的话 |
| [01:02] | I might say, “I’m not saying Elka’s old, | 我可能就说 “我可没说爱尔卡很老 |
| [01:04] | but she babysat Jesus.” | 但耶稣就是她带大的” |
| [01:08] | I’m not saying Joy’s flat-chested. | 我可没说乔依平胸 |
| [01:11] | But I saw a picture of her breasts on a milk carton. | 但我在牛奶袋上看到了针对她的”寻胸启事” |
| [01:17] | Very funny. | 真搞笑啊 |
| [01:18] | – Because they’re missing. – Got it. | -因为你的胸根本无处可寻 -懂的 |
| [01:27] | Joy, is that from your mother again? | 乔依 又是你妈妈打来的吗 |
| [01:29] | – Maybe you should take it. – No. | -或许你应该接一下 -不 |
| [01:31] | I mean, I’m sure it’s just about her latest boyfriend. | 我敢肯定她要聊她的新任男友 |
| [01:34] | If I wanted to hear an old woman bitch about men… | 如果我想听一个老女人抱怨男人的话 |
| [01:37] | You’d just stay home and listen to yourself? | 你只要待在家里 自听自话就行 |
| [01:42] | Okay, we better get going | 好了 我们还是走吧 |
| [01:43] | if I’m gonna break up with Harry before we go to the movies. | 否则就赶不上在看电影前跟哈利分手了 |
| [01:46] | Who’s Harry? | 哈利是谁 |
| [01:47] | Oh, he’s just this guy I’ve been trying to break up with | 就是一个我这几星期以来 |
| [01:49] | for the last few weeks. | 一直试图跟他分手的家伙 |
| [01:50] | So what’s wrong with him? | 他有什么问题吗 |
| [01:51] | Oh, he’s nice. | 他人挺好的 |
| [01:52] | He’s just, you know, way too into me. | 就是 太爱我了点 |
| [01:54] | And he over-pronounces Spanish words. | 而且在念西班牙语词汇时发音过重 |
| [01:56] | Last night, he made me tah-cos. | 昨晚他给我做了”炸玉米饼” |
| [02:00] | And he talks too much. He just goes on and on and on. | 而且他还话唠 巴拉巴拉说个不停 |
| [02:04] | I have never gotten through a conversation without zoning out. | 跟他聊天 我总忍不住开小差 |
| [02:07] | And I don’t mean to sound superficial, | 而且我也不想显得太肤浅 |
| [02:10] | but he’s really hairy. | 但他身上的毛真是太多了 |
| [02:12] | And his name is Harry, so there’s no getting around it. | 他的名字就叫哈利[音似”多毛”] 真是绕不开 |
| [02:18] | Harry? | 哈利在吗 |
| [02:20] | Harry, the door was open. | 哈利 门没关 |
| [02:24] | Harry, don’t be scared. It’s just me. | 哈利 别害怕 是我 |
| [02:27] | Harry. | 哈利 |
| [02:29] | Oh, my God! | 老天啊 |
| [02:40] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. | 天呐 天呐 |
| [02:42] | Are you absolutely sure he’s dead? | 你百分百确定他死了吗 |
| [02:44] | He’s lying in bed ice cold. | 他躺在床上 全身冰凉 |
| [02:47] | My husband did that for years, and he wasn’t dead. | 我丈夫也那样躺了好多年 他也没死啊 |
| [02:52] | Did you whisper in his ear | 你有没有在他耳边小声倾诉 |
| [02:54] | – how much you want to have sex? – Of course not. | -你有多想跟他做爱 -当然没有 |
| [02:57] | Sometimes it’s the only way you can know for sure. | 有时 那是确定死没死的唯一方法 |
| [03:01] | Did Harry ever mention being ill? | 哈利有没有提过他有病在身 |
| [03:03] | I do kind of remember | 我好像记得 |
| [03:04] | during one of his long, rambling speeches | 他有一次发表长篇大论时 |
| [03:06] | he said something about a hole in his heart. | 说他心脏有个洞 |
| [03:08] | I thought he just meant he was lonely. | 我还以为他是说他很孤单 |
| [03:11] | Ugh, I just wish his cousin would get here soon. | 我现在只求他表姐能快点过来 |
| [03:15] | I’m not saying Melanie’s a heart-breaker, | 我可没说梅兰妮是个令人”心破碎”的女人 |
| [03:18] | but there’s a dead guy in there. | 但那里有个人的确心破而死 |
| [03:24] | Too soon? | 现在开玩笑太早了吗 |
| [03:27] | Hey, what’s this? | 话说 这是什么 |
| [03:29] | “To my darling Melanie. | “致我亲爱的梅兰妮 |
| [03:30] | Love, Harry.” | 爱你的 哈利 |
| [03:33] | It’s a ring. | 是个戒指 |
| [03:34] | Oh, I told you he was moving too fast. | 我就说他节奏太迅速了吧 |
| [03:37] | Well, he’s not moving too fast anymore. | 他现在死翘翘了 没法迅速了吧 |
| [03:42] | I’d say 3 karats. | 我觉得有3克拉 |
| [03:44] | – Oh, just put that back. – You should open it. | -把它放回去 -你该打开看看 |
| [03:46] | I can’t open a gift from a dead man. | 我不能打开死人的礼物啊 |
| [03:49] | He probably bought it when he was still alive. | 这很可能是他生前买的 |
| [03:58] | No. I would feel like a bad person. | 不行 我会觉得自己很无良 |
| [04:00] | Not me. | 我可不会 |
| [04:02] | Oh, clear, square-cut, | 天呐 晶莹剔透 刀工精细 |
| [04:04] | platinum setting. That’s my dream ring. | 铂金镶嵌 我梦寐以求的戒指啊 |
| [04:06] | Try it on. | 戴上试试 |
| [04:06] | No. Again. Bad person. | 不行 丧尽天良啊 |
| [04:08] | How else will you know for the future | 你不戴的话 将来怎么知道 |
| [04:10] | if it’s a flattering style for your finger? | 这个款式是否能将你的手指衬得熠熠生辉啊 |
| [04:13] | Okay, I’ll try it on, | 好吧 那我试试 |
| [04:14] | but just for the record, I do not feel good about this. | 不过声明一下 我心里是很愧疚的 |
| [04:16] | – Oh, it’s so pretty. – It is stunning. | -真漂亮 -好美啊 |
| [04:19] | Oh, that’s his cousin. | 他表姐来了 |
| [04:20] | Okay, everybody, look sad. | 大家快摆出一副哭丧脸 |
| [04:25] | Oh, Margaret, I’m so sorry. | 玛格丽特 我真的很遗憾 |
| [04:26] | Oh, Melanie, you poor thing. | 梅兰妮 小可怜 |
| [04:30] | Even though we all knew with Harry’s heart condition | 尽管我们都知道哈利的心脏不好 |
| [04:33] | he could go at any time, you must be devastated. | 他随时可能离开我们 你一定悲痛欲绝吧 |
| [04:39] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [04:40] | Grandma’s ring. | 外婆的戒指 |
| [04:42] | Harry proposed and you accepted? | 哈利求婚 你接受了吗 |
| [04:45] | Darling, welcome to the family. | 亲爱的 欢迎成为我们家族的一员 |
| [04:55] | Mom, I don’t want it, | 妈妈 我不想要 |
| [04:56] | and I don’t want to talk about him anymore. | 我也不想再提到他了 |
| [04:59] | No, I haven’t told my friends about it. | 不 我还没跟朋友们说这事 |
| [05:02] | Melanie just walked in. Got to go. | 梅兰妮进来了 我挂了 |
| [05:04] | Guess who’s hosting Harry’s wake. | 猜猜谁来主持哈利的守灵仪式 |
| [05:07] | What? | 什么 |
| [05:09] | I was out casket shopping with his family… | 我跟他的家人去买骨灰盒了 |
| [05:11] | Oh, my God, they’re all long talkers. | 天呐 他们都是话痨啊 |
| [05:14] | I zoned out, and I thought someone asked me if I was awake. | 我走神了 以为有人在问我是不是醒着 |
| [05:17] | Turns out they asked me if I would host the wake. | 结果是他们问我能不能主持守灵 |
| [05:20] | What are you doing Tuesday night? | 你周二晚上有事吗 |
| [05:21] | – Ooh, busy. – Yeah, good, | -忙死了 -太好了 |
| [05:23] | ’cause it’s Wednesday. | 因为守灵是周三 |
| [05:26] | I have a major announcement to make. | 我有个重大消息要宣布 |
| [05:28] | This box is from the Ozawa Industrial Brothers. | 这个快递盒是小泽工业兄弟寄来的 |
| [05:31] | The ladypants people? | 就那个生产淑女裤的公司吗 |
| [05:33] | You’re gonna wear diapers again? | 你又要穿尿布了吗 |
| [05:36] | They weren’t diapers. | 那不是尿布 |
| [05:37] | They were absorbent pants for women on the go who need to go, | 是超强吸收女式长裤 能为内急女性解决问题 |
| [05:40] | and I was proud to endorse them. | 能为他们代言我很自豪 |
| [05:43] | Please don’t be diapers. | 千万别是尿布 |
| [05:44] | – Please don’t be diapers. – Please be diapers. | -千万别是尿布 -一定要是尿布 |
| [05:45] | – Please be diapers. – Please don’t be diap… | -一定要是尿布 -千万别是尿… |
| [05:47] | Oh, thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [05:49] | It’s an exercise belt. | 是塑身腰带 |
| [05:51] | That you pee in? | 能往里面撒尿吗 |
| [05:54] | Oh, God, I hope not. | 上帝啊 希望不是 |
| [05:58] | “Dear Chase Victoria, | “亲爱的蔡斯·维多利亚 |
| [06:00] | international face of incontinence… | 尿失禁的国际形象代言人 |
| [06:05] | Let us safely and effortlessly | 最新的小泽工业兄弟产品 |
| [06:07] | electrocute your abdomen into shape | 能够轻松安全地为您的腹部 |
| [06:09] | with newest Ozawa Brothers product, | 电击塑形 |
| [06:11] | Mrs. Lady Abs. | 这就是女性腹肌 |
| [06:12] | Also enclosed is your check money.” | 附上你的薪酬” |
| [06:18] | Oh, my God. Look at all those zeroes. | 天呐 瞧这些零 |
| [06:23] | I could really use those ladypants right now. | 我兴奋得都快尿失禁了 |
| [06:33] | Hello. | 喂 |
| [06:34] | Oh, hi, Ms. Scroggs, how are you? | 斯克罗格夫人 你还好吗 |
| [06:36] | – I’m not here. – Oh… no. | -就说我不在 -不 |
| [06:37] | Rejoyla’s not here. She’s… at the circus. | 瑞乔依娜不在 她在马戏团 |
| [06:45] | Because she’s friends with the trapeze lady. | 因为她和空中飞女是朋友 |
| [06:50] | I’ll just tell her you called. | 我会告诉她你来过电话了 |
| [06:52] | How am I gonna get through this evening? | 今晚我可怎么过 |
| [06:53] | I am a terrible liar. | 我最不会撒谎了 |
| [06:55] | You did okay with that Tuesday-Wednesday thing. | 把周三说成周二那事你倒是很熟练啊 |
| [07:00] | Guess who’s wearing something wonderful that no one can see? | 猜猜是谁穿了大家都看不到的好东西 |
| [07:03] | It’s called a bra. | 那叫胸罩 |
| [07:06] | Get over it. | 别纠结了 |
| [07:09] | I was referring to my Mrs. Lady Abs toning belt, | 我说的是我的女士健腹腰带 |
| [07:12] | which is sending thousands of tiny electrical pulses, | 它能不断发射成千上万股微电子脉冲 |
| [07:16] | tightening my abs as we speak. | 收紧我的小腹 |
| [07:17] | And the belt is so smooth | 而且这腰带做工平滑 |
| [07:19] | that n… n… n… nobody knows you’re wearing it. | 没…没…没人知道你戴着它 |
| [07:25] | Victoria, what number did you set that thing on? | 维多利亚 你开到第几档了 |
| [07:28] | Well, last night I could hardly feel it, | 我昨晚几乎感觉不到脉冲 |
| [07:30] | so I turned it up to the highest setting, | 就开到了最高档 |
| [07:32] | “Super max-fry muscle scramble,” | 「超级无敌腹肌速成模式」 |
| [07:34] | and I guess it got stuck on the n… n… n… number. | 可能一直卡在最高档…档…档了 |
| [07:41] | Come on, Mamie Ssue, | 快点 梅米·苏 |
| [07:42] | we’ve got a roast to go to. | 我们要去拿人开涮了 |
| [07:44] | Right. Here’s your drink. | 好的 喝杯酒壮壮胆 |
| [07:50] | Perfect. | 极品 |
| [08:04] | Was that straight vodka? | 你喝的是纯伏特加吗 |
| [08:06] | I like to be loose before I do a set. | 我上台表演前先要放松放松 |
| [08:18] | So that was Harry’s seventh birthday. | 那是在哈利七岁生日上 |
| [08:20] | Oh, I didn’t tell you about the cake. | 我还忘了和你说生日蛋糕了 |
| [08:21] | It was chocolate. | 是巧克力做的 |
| [08:22] | No, it was white with chocolate frosting. | 不 是白色的 涂了一层巧克力糖霜 |
| [08:25] | No, what am I thinking? | 晕 你看我这记性 |
| [08:27] | That was a pie birthday. | 那年生日吃的是馅饼 |
| [08:30] | Could I steal Melanie for a second? | 我能和梅兰妮聊几句吗 |
| [08:32] | Yes, please. | 当然 拜托 |
| [08:35] | I have a big problem. | 我摊上大事了 |
| [08:36] | Dr. Greenly is here. | 格林利医生也来了 |
| [08:37] | Who? | 谁 |
| [08:38] | The shrink I had to stop seeing | 那个让我魂牵梦绕 |
| [08:39] | ’cause I was having all those sexy dreams about him. | 最后不得不放弃治疗的心理医生 |
| [08:41] | – Oh, where? – Over by the fireplace. Don’t turn around. | -人在哪 -火炉旁边 别转身 |
| [08:43] | Ah, he saw me. He’s coming over. | 完了 他看见我了 他过来了 |
| [08:46] | Hi, Joy. This is a surprise. | 你好 乔依 真没想到啊 |
| [08:48] | Yes. This is my friend Melanie. | 是啊 这位是我朋友梅兰妮 |
| [08:51] | My heart goes out to you. | 我对您深表同情 |
| [08:52] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [08:55] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [08:56] | Harry was a patient of mine. | 哈利曾是我的病人 |
| [08:58] | He spoke at great length about you. | 他对我说过很多关于你的事 |
| [08:59] | I bet he did. | 我相信也是 |
| [09:02] | Melanie, come meet cousin Beth. | 梅兰妮 来见见贝丝堂姐 |
| [09:04] | She’s just flown in from Mejico. | 她刚从墨西哥[西班牙语]飞来 |
| [09:10] | So, Joy… | 乔依 |
| [09:12] | So, Dr. Greenly… | 格林利医生 |
| [09:14] | I don’t mean to put you on the spot, | 我无意让你难堪 |
| [09:16] | but I always wondered why you suddenly stopped seeing me. | 但我实在想知道你为什么要放弃治疗 |
| [09:18] | We were making such great progress. | 我们的治疗进展很不错 |
| [09:19] | You know, really getting into some of the issues | 我是说 关于你和你父亲之间的问题 |
| [09:21] | that you had with your father. | 刚谈得有点眉目了 |
| [09:23] | Can I be perfectly honest? | 我能实话实说吗 |
| [09:25] | Of course. | 当然了 |
| [09:26] | I know it’s the biggest cliche. | 我知道这非常老套迂腐 |
| [09:28] | but I can tell you now | 但我现在可以对你坦白了 |
| [09:29] | since you’re no longer my doctor. | 因为你已经不是我的医生了 |
| [09:31] | I was attracted to you. | 我被你深深吸引 |
| [09:36] | Well, I guess I can tell you, | 那我也可以对你坦白了 |
| [09:38] | since you’re no longer my patient, | 因为你也不再是我的病人了 |
| [09:40] | that I was attracted to you. | 我同样被你所吸引 |
| [09:46] | You know, speaking not as Dr. Greenly, | 我现在不是以格林利医生的身份跟你说话 |
| [09:47] | but just as a guy named John, | 我现在就单纯是约翰而已 |
| [09:49] | would you like to have dinner sometime? | 你愿意抽空一起吃个晚餐吗 |
| [09:51] | I would, John. | 我愿意加入 约翰 |
| [09:54] | But could I speak to Dr. Greenly for just one second? | 但我还想和格林利医生说最后一句话 |
| [09:59] | Sure. | 没问题 |
| [10:02] | How can I help you, Joy? | 有什么能帮到你的 乔依 |
| [10:04] | Dr. Greenly, given my history with men, | 格林利医生 鉴于我找男人的悲惨经历 |
| [10:07] | do you think I should date my former therapist? | 你觉得我应该和前任心理医生约会吗 |
| [10:10] | I do. | 我看行 |
| [10:14] | Wow, that guy seemed really smart. | 那家伙貌似很聪明 |
| [10:17] | Joy, could I see you in the kitchen? | 乔依 能到厨房说句话吗 |
| [10:19] | – Right now? – Yes, right n… n… n… now. | -现在吗 -是的 现 现在 |
| [10:25] | I never hosted a wake before. | 我从没主持过守灵仪式 |
| [10:26] | Do you know how long these things generally go? | 你知道这种活动通常要多长时间吗 |
| [10:28] | Oh, not long. | 不长 |
| [10:29] | People should start to drift out | 你一开始念悼词 |
| [10:31] | soon after you give the eulogy. | 大伙儿就该准备撤了 |
| [10:35] | The shocks are getting worse. | 电击越来越严重了 |
| [10:37] | I can’t get it off. The latch is broken. | 我脱不下来 钩子坏了 |
| [10:39] | Guess who’s giving the eulogy. | 你们猜是谁来念悼词 |
| [10:42] | Seriously? | 不是吧 |
| [10:43] | You said you’d give the eulogy? | 你跟他们说你愿意念悼词吗 |
| [10:44] | I don’t remember doing it, | 我不记得我说过 |
| [10:46] | but his family is so boring. | 但他的家人实在太无趣了 |
| [10:47] | You zone out, and when their mouths stop moving, | 你肯定会走神 等他们的嘴巴闭上之后 |
| [10:50] | you just nod your head. | 你就会不由自主地点头 |
| [10:52] | So now say no. | 现在去拒绝啊 |
| [10:53] | I can’t. Jason is depending on me. | 我无法拒绝 杰森就指望着我了 |
| [10:56] | – Who’s Jason? – I don’t know. | -杰森是谁 -我不知道 |
| [10:59] | What am I gonna say? | 我该说些什么 |
| [11:00] | Well, I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [11:03] | But if I don’t get this thing off soon, | 但我如果不赶紧把这玩意儿解下来 |
| [11:04] | you’re gonna be giving my eulogy. | 你就该在我的葬礼上念悼词了 |
| [11:07] | See, your eulogy would be fun to write. | 给你写悼词一定很有趣 |
| [11:10] | I have genuine feelings for you. | 我对你是有真感情的 |
| [11:13] | Harry’s family is expecting a grieving fiancee eulogy, | 哈利的家人期待的是伤心的未婚妻写的悼词 |
| [11:16] | and the truth is I barely knew the man. | 可事实上 我几乎不了解他 |
| [11:19] | Why do I smell popcorn? | 我怎么闻见爆米花味了 |
| [11:21] | I tried to get this thing off by buttering myself, | 为了解开这个东西我试着往身上涂黄油 |
| [11:23] | and now I’m cooking. | 现在我在油炸自己 |
| [11:28] | So as a professional you wouldn’t date me | 作为一个心理医生 我要是一团糟 |
| [11:31] | if I was really screwed up, would you? | 你就不会和我约会了是吧 |
| [11:33] | Stop fishing. | 别再试探了 |
| [11:36] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [11:40] | Oof. It’s nothing. It’s my mother. | 没事 是我母亲的电话 |
| [11:41] | At the risk of sounding like Dr. Greenly, | 虽然有一定的风险再变回格林利医生 |
| [11:43] | when you say it’s nothing, | 但当你说”没事”的时候 |
| [11:44] | it’s often because you’re avoiding something. | 通常都是因为你在逃避事情 |
| [11:47] | Isn’t it sometimes healthy to avoid something | 偶尔逃避一些让你不愉快的事情 |
| [11:49] | you know is gonna make you feel bad? | 对心理健康不是更有益吗 |
| [11:51] | Not if it keeps you in denial. | 如果你一直在否认就不行 |
| [11:53] | Look, I know where you’re going with this, | 我知道你接下来要说些什么 |
| [11:55] | but I’ve dealt with it. I’m fine. | 但我已经处理过了 我没事 |
| [11:57] | So you’re saying being at a funeral right now | 你的意思是 即便在葬礼现场 |
| [11:59] | isn’t triggering anything for you? | 也没有触发你的任何心理反应吗 |
| [12:03] | Look, if Dr. Greenly keeps asking questions, | 听着 如果格林利医生不停地问问题 |
| [12:07] | John is not gonna get lucky tonight. | 约翰今晚就不会得到性福了 |
| [12:11] | Tonight? | 今晚吗 |
| [12:13] | Look, I just brought Dr. Greenly | 我带格林利医生来 |
| [12:14] | ’cause he’s a friend of my sister’s. | 只是因为他是我姐姐的朋友 |
| [12:19] | Tech support put me on hold again. | 客服人员又让我等候接听 |
| [12:21] | Okay, listen, here’s what I have so far. | 好了 听听目前为止我写好的部分 |
| [12:23] | Webster’s defines eulogy | 《韦氏辞典》对”悼词”的定义是 |
| [12:25] | as a speech in praise or honor of a deceased person. | “用来称颂或纪念已故之人时所做的演讲” |
| [12:30] | Webster’s defines dull as any speech | 《韦氏辞典》对”无趣”的定义是 |
| [12:32] | which starts with “Webster’s defines”. | 任何以韦氏原话做开头的演讲 |
| [12:35] | Yes, yes, tech support. | 是的是的 我找技术客服 |
| [12:36] | I’m still here. | 我还在呢 |
| [12:38] | No, I already tried buttering myself. | 不 我已经试过往身上涂黄油了 |
| [12:41] | Yes, this is Mrs. Ladypants. | 是的 我就是淑女裤女神 |
| [12:45] | No, I am not going right n… n… n… now. | 不 我现在不 不 不去 |
| [12:51] | I thought you guys were roasting your 100-year-old friend. | 我还以为你们去拿百岁老人开涮了呢 |
| [12:54] | They said our material was too raunchy. | 他们说我们的段子太低俗了 |
| [12:58] | One zinger about Craig’s low-hanging fruit, | 只不过拿克雷格下垂的睾丸开了个玩笑 |
| [13:02] | and they freak. | 他们就抓狂了 |
| [13:06] | Now we have all this killer material | 现在我们手上有这么多猛料段子 |
| [13:08] | and nowhere to showcase it. | 却无处表演 |
| [13:10] | What’s the crowd like out there? | 外面那群人是干什么的 |
| [13:12] | Don’t you dare! | 你敢 |
| [13:14] | It’s a wake. | 这可是守灵仪式 |
| [13:16] | Melanie, Jason is here. | 梅兰妮 杰森来了 |
| [13:18] | It’s time to give the eulogy, sweetie. | 是时候致悼词了 亲爱的 |
| [13:20] | Oh, good, Jason’s here. | 太好了 杰森来了 |
| [13:21] | I’ll be right out. | 我这就来 |
| [13:23] | Well, I’m about to go out there and disappoint them all. | 我马上就要出去 让他们所有人都大跌眼镜 |
| [13:26] | Even Jason. | 尤其是杰森 |
| [13:28] | Whoever the that is! | 鬼他妈知道他是谁 |
| [13:35] | For those of you I haven’t met, I’m Jason. | 在座各位我未曾谋过面的朋友们 我是杰森 |
| [13:37] | I want to thank Melanie for hosting this special night | 我想感谢梅兰妮主持今晚的仪式 |
| [13:40] | and for graciously allowing me to speak before her. | 并慷慨地允许我在她之前发言 |
| [13:42] | Or, if you like, instead of me. | 你要愿意的话 代替我好了 |
| [13:48] | What a character. | 真有个性 |
| [13:49] | No wonder dad loved you. | 难怪我爸会爱上你 |
| [13:52] | Dad. | 爸爸 |
| [13:54] | You know, relationships with fathers can be complicated. | 父子之间的关系有时候会有点复杂 |
| [13:58] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [14:00] | I’m fine. | 我没事 |
| [14:01] | He was my compass, | 他是我的指南针 |
| [14:02] | my true north. | 我生活的方向 |
| [14:04] | I always knew that, if I could find him, | 我一直认为 如果我能够找到他 |
| [14:06] | I could find my way. | 我就能找到我的人生之路 |
| [14:08] | And last week when he asked me to be the best man at his wedding, | 上周他邀请我做婚礼的伴郎时 |
| [14:11] | I was so happy because… | 我非常高兴 因为 |
| [14:13] | because he was the best man that I had ever known. | 因为他是我认识的所有人中最好的一个 |
| [14:18] | Can’t believe I’m never gonna see you again. | 不敢相信我再也见不到你了 |
| [14:22] | I love you, dad. | 我爱你 爸爸 |
| [14:24] | John, I need you to be Dr. Greenly again. | 约翰 我现在需要格林利医生 |
| [14:27] | Let’s talk. | 出去聊聊吧 |
| [14:28] | And now Melanie will give the eulogy, | 现在梅兰妮要致悼词了 |
| [14:30] | and get your handkerchiefs ready. | 准备好你们的纸巾 |
| [14:32] | Dad told me she has the soul of a poet. | 爸爸说过 她有着诗人的灵魂 |
| [14:42] | Webster’s defines eulogy… | 《韦氏辞典》将对”悼词”的定义是… |
| [14:50] | Just letting out the grief. | 只是释放一下悲伤的心情 |
| [14:57] | You’ll just excuse me. | 不好意思 失陪一下 |
| [15:03] | Oh, thank God you caught on fire. | 真实太感谢你及时着火了 |
| [15:04] | You saved me. | 你救了我一命 |
| [15:05] | Yeah, that’s why I did it. | 是啊 我就为了救你呢 |
| [15:08] | Seriously, now I have to follow that speech? | 说真的 现在我真的要继续那个演讲吗 |
| [15:10] | – I’m in agony. – Oh, really, Melanie? | -我好痛苦 -是吗 梅兰妮 |
| [15:12] | Agony? What is that smell? | 跟我谈痛苦 这是什么味道 |
| [15:14] | Fresh-cooked hamburger? Steak on the grill? | 现做的汉堡 还是烤架上的牛排 |
| [15:17] | No, it’s my flesh! | 不 是我的肉香味 |
| [15:19] | Calm down. I’ve almost got it. | 冷静一下 快要弄好了 |
| [15:22] | – There. – Oh, thank God. | -好了 -感谢上帝 |
| [15:25] | Do I look more toned? | 我肤色变深了吗 |
| [15:27] | Never mind. | 当我没说 |
| [15:29] | I can’t believe people buy these things. | 真不敢相信有人会买这东西 |
| [15:31] | I mean, everyone knows you can’t get fit without exercise. | 谁不知道不锻炼是不可能瘦下来的 |
| [15:33] | It is the number one exercise belt in Japan. | 这就是日本排名第一的运动腰带 |
| [15:36] | And, whether or not it works, people are buying the dream. | 不管它有没有用 人们都在为这个梦想买单 |
| [15:39] | And they’re happy with that. | 他们很乐意这么做 |
| [15:40] | So you’re still gonna endorse it? | 所以你还是打算为这产品代言吗 |
| [15:41] | Well, of course. | 当然 |
| [15:43] | I mean, there is nothing wrong | 如果把人们想听的话说给他们听 |
| [15:43] | with telling people what they want to hear if it makes them happy. | 能够让他们觉得开心 这有什么问题 |
| [15:47] | Yeah, you’re probably right. | 是啊 或许你说得对 |
| [15:50] | Actually, you are right. | 实际上 你的确是对的 |
| [15:53] | I agree. But why? | 我同意 不过为什么 |
| [15:56] | Those people out there want to believe | 外面那些人希望相信 |
| [15:58] | that Harry died happy because of me. | 哈利离世时很幸福 因为有我在 |
| [16:00] | And I have to tell them what they want to hear. | 我就应该告诉他们他们想听的话 |
| [16:05] | You did a lot of eulogies on Edge of Tomorrow. | 你在《明日边缘》上念过很多悼词 |
| [16:07] | Are there any that might fit? | 有我能用的吗 |
| [16:09] | Let me see. | 我想想 |
| [16:13] | Saying good-bye to a sister is never easy, | 跟姐妹告别从来不是简单的事情 |
| [16:16] | even if she was my evil twin. | 即使她是我邪恶的双生花 |
| [16:20] | No. | 不行 |
| [16:21] | Alphonse will always be a part of all of us | 阿方斯将永远是我们的一部分 |
| [16:24] | because we had to eat him to survive. | 因为我们只有吃了他才能生存 |
| [16:26] | Oh, I think that’s closer. | 我觉得这个比较接近了 |
| [16:30] | Hey, Joy. | 嘿 乔依 |
| [16:32] | Honey, what’s wrong? | 亲爱的 出了什么事 |
| [16:34] | I was out back with Dr. Greenly. | 我刚才跟格林利医生去了外面 |
| [16:36] | There’s something I have to tell you. | 有些事我要告诉你们 |
| [16:40] | My father passed away a few months ago. | 我父亲几个月前去世了 |
| [16:42] | Oh, Joy. | 天呐 乔依 |
| [16:43] | Honey, why didn’t you tell us? | 亲爱的 你为什么没告诉我们 |
| [16:45] | He took off when I was a teenager, | 我还是少女的时候他就离开了 |
| [16:47] | and not a word since. | 从此杳无音信 |
| [16:48] | I didn’t want to get sympathy for feelings | 我不希望被人同情 |
| [16:50] | I wasn’t feeling or didn’t want to feel. | 因为我对他的死亡毫无感觉 或不想有感觉 |
| [16:54] | That’s why my mother’s been calling. | 这就是我母亲一直打电话来的原因 |
| [16:57] | He left me something. Only, I’m not sure I want it. | 他给我留了点东西 只是 我不确定我想要 |
| [17:00] | But listening to Jason talk about his father with such love… | 但是听到杰森饱含爱意地谈论他的父亲 |
| [17:05] | I’ve always had this fantasy | 我一直幻想着 |
| [17:08] | that some day my dad and I would somehow magically reconnect | 某天我和爸爸不知怎地神奇重遇 |
| [17:12] | and have the relationship I always wanted. | 从此拥有我一直想要的父女关系 |
| [17:15] | Then it just hit me. | 刚才着实触动了我 |
| [17:18] | That can never happen now. | 那种情况永远不可能发生了 |
| [17:24] | That fantasy died with him. | 那个幻想和他一同幻灭了 |
| [17:26] | Ah, honey, that’s hard. | 亲爱的 这太难受了 |
| [17:29] | So Dr. Greenly told me to write down what I wanted to say to him. | 所以格林利医生让我把想对他说的话写下来 |
| [17:33] | Yeah, what’d you write? | 是吗 你写了什么 |
| [17:36] | “Dear dad, I’m angry. | “亲爱的爸爸 我很生气 |
| [17:39] | I’m angry that you’re not here. | 我气你不在这里 |
| [17:42] | I’m angry that you left me | 我气你在我们有机会 |
| [17:43] | before we had a chance to be everything we could be to each other…” | 成为对方生命不可或缺的一部分之前就离开了我” |
| [17:48] | “But mostly I’m angry that the dreams I had | “但我最气的是 我曾有过的 |
| [17:51] | for our relationship will never come true. | 有关我们感情的梦想 永远不会成真了 |
| [17:55] | I can only console myself with the few memories I do have… | 我只能用仅有的回忆安慰自己 |
| [17:59] | Your rich, booming laugh, | 你饱满开怀的笑声 |
| [18:01] | after dinner sitting on your lap, | 晚饭后坐在你的膝头 |
| [18:03] | the hint of whiskey on your bre…” | 你胡须上的一点威士忌” |
| [18:08] | He did love his whiskey. | 他确实喜欢威士忌 |
| [18:14] | “There is so much I’ll never get to say to you. | “有太多话我没来得及跟你说 |
| [18:17] | But I want you to know I miss you | 但我想让你知道 我对你的思念 |
| [18:20] | “More than you’ll ever know. | 超过你的想象 |
| [18:21] | I love you, daddy.” | 我爱你 爹地” |
| [18:26] | I called him daddy. | 我叫他爹地 |
| [18:29] | But not in the creepy way. In the sexy way. | 但不是变态那种 是性感那种 |
| [18:31] | You know, like, “Who’s your daddy?” | 你懂得 就像”谁是你爹地” |
| [18:37] | You know, | 其实 |
| [18:39] | somewhere, somehow, | 在某个地方 以某种方式 |
| [18:43] | I do believe that the man this speech was written for | 我坚信 这份悼词要致敬的那个人 |
| [18:47] | has heard these words | 已经听到了这些话 |
| [18:50] | and he is smiling down at his girl. | 而他正微笑着看着他的女孩 |
| [18:57] | “Dearest Rejoyla, | “最亲爱的瑞乔依娜 |
| [18:58] | I hope this portrait will serve as a reminder | 我希望这幅画像会提醒你 |
| [19:00] | that even though he may not have always shown it, | 虽然他可能不经常表现出来 |
| [19:04] | your father loved you very much. | 但你父亲非常非常爱你 |
| [19:06] | I do hope this gives you some happiness and peace. | 我真心希望能带给你一些幸福和平静 |
| [19:09] | Love, mum.” | 爱你的妈妈’ |
| [19:10] | Aw, that’s sweet. | 真有爱 |
| [19:12] | “P.S. Now that your psychic wounds have healed, | “另外 既然你的心理创伤平复了 |
| [19:15] | perhaps you can find a man.” | 或许你能找着男人了吧” |
| [19:24] | He even made your hands proportionate to your body. | 他甚至把你的手故意画小 好搭配你的身子 |
| [19:31] | Clearly he cared. | 他显然非常在乎你 |
| [19:34] | He really did. | 他真的在乎我 |