时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:01] | Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience. | 《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的 |
[00:04] | That was great. | 刚刚真是太爽了 |
[00:06] | – You are amazing. – Thank you. | -你真棒 -谢谢 |
[00:08] | You’re not so bad yourself. | 你也不错啊 |
[00:10] | So do you want to spoon? | 你想要勺式抱抱吗 |
[00:12] | Yeah! | 想啊 |
[00:18] | He wants to be the little spoon? | 他想要成为被抱的小勺子啊 |
[00:20] | Yes, which makes me the big spoon. | 是啊 这让我成了大勺子 |
[00:24] | – That’s crazy. – I know! | -那也太离谱了 -就是啊 |
[00:26] | No woman should be the jetpack. | 哪有女人做”喷气背包”的道理 |
[00:31] | Well, was the sex worth it? | 他的床技是否好到值得你这样做 |
[00:33] | He did a couple of things. | 他玩了一些花样 |
[00:35] | Two that were good, one not so good. | 两个很棒 一个不咋样 |
[00:38] | It’s rare to find a man that’s good at that, | 很难找到擅长玩那个花样的男人 |
[00:40] | – let’s face it, right? – You have a point, yeah. | -面对现实吧 -你说得有理 |
[00:47] | Well, you should just tell him the truth about the spooning. | 你该告诉他勺式抱抱的真相 |
[00:49] | What do you think, Simon? | 你说呢 西蒙 |
[00:51] | I think you’re confirming my worst fear | 我觉得你们证实了我最担心的事 |
[00:52] | that anything I do in bed | 我在床上玩的所有花样 |
[00:54] | will be analyzed and dissected by a pack of critical females. | 都会被一群挑剔的女性分析解剖 |
[01:00] | You have nothing to worry about. | 你没什么可担心的 |
[01:02] | Yeah, we have no idea you’re an uncut jewel. | 是啊 我们不知道你这块宝石未经雕琢[未割包皮] |
[01:11] | Simon’s right, no guy wants to hear what annoys you about him. | 西蒙说得对 男人都不想听他怎么招你烦了 |
[01:14] | I used to get annoyed when Emmet used his neti pot | 艾米特用他的洗鼻壶清洗他的鼻窦时 |
[01:16] | to clear his sinuses. | 我会很烦 |
[01:20] | What I wouldn’t give now | 我现在真想付出一切 |
[01:21] | to see him pour salted water in one nostril | 来看他往一个鼻孔里倒盐水 |
[01:24] | and watch it slowly drip out of the other. | 然后看着盐水慢慢从另一个鼻孔里流出来 |
[01:29] | You know, one time he couldn’t find it, | 有次他找不到洗鼻壶 |
[01:30] | so he used that coffee creamer. | 就用了那个咖啡奶精瓶 |
[01:40] | Now, stay strong, Victoria. I’m working on a lead. | 坚强点 维多利亚 我在跟进一条线索 |
[01:43] | There’s no phone or computer I can’t hack into. | 我能黑入一切手机和电脑 |
[01:46] | Music to any boyfriend’s ears. Ah, well, I’m off. | 真是男朋友”爱听”的话啊 我走了 |
[01:51] | Halle Berry is in town visiting relatives, | 哈莉·贝瑞来市里探亲访友 |
[01:53] | and Star Magazine wants a shot. | 《星周刊》想要一张照片 |
[01:55] | If I can find the smallest trace of cellulite on her thighs, | 如果我能拍到她大腿上脂肪团的一点踪迹 |
[01:58] | I’ll get the cover. | 封面故事就归我了 |
[01:59] | A shot of Halle Berry with cellulite would make my day. | 一张哈莉·贝瑞有脂肪团的照片会让我开心死的 |
[02:02] | Oh, God, that would be so great! | 天啊 那就太棒了 |
[02:04] | – Right? – Well, off to do God’s work. | -对吧 -我得去做神圣的工作了 |
[02:07] | I’ll walk you out. | 我送你出去 |
[02:10] | – Now I can open these. – Yes. | -现在我能打开了 -是啊 |
[02:12] | You never want to open shoes in front of a man. | 绝不要在男人面前打开鞋盒 |
[02:14] | They always have questions like, | 他们总会问些烦人的问题 |
[02:16] | “how can you walk in those things?” | “你穿着那玩意儿怎么走路啊” |
[02:17] | Or, “don’t you have six pairs just like that?” | 或者 “你不是已经有六双类似款了吗” |
[02:20] | Or, “how can one pair of shoes cost $3,000?” | 或者 “一双鞋子怎么要三千美元啊” |
[02:23] | I mean, they’re idiots. | 他们简直是白痴 |
[02:26] | Hey, I didn’t order these. | 这不是我买的 |
[02:29] | What are these monstrosities? | 这些畸形是什么啊 |
[02:32] | They’re called “hiking boots.” | 那叫登山靴 |
[02:34] | All right. And what do you do with them? | 好吧 那是用来干什么的 |
[02:38] | Excuse me, Miss Chase? | 打扰了 蔡斯小姐 |
[02:40] | It’s that new FBI agent who’s following me. | 是那个跟踪我的新联调局探员 |
[02:45] | Oh, agent Monroe. What is it? | 门罗探员 怎么了 |
[02:47] | – Miss Chase… – Yes? | -蔡斯小姐 -在 |
[02:49] | I regret to inform you there has been a plane crash | 很遗憾通知你 在卡菲里斯坦山区里 |
[02:51] | in the mountains of Kafiristan. Your husband was on board. | 有一架飞机失事了 你丈夫在飞机上 |
[02:54] | There were no survivors. | 无人幸存 |
[02:57] | What? | 什么 |
[03:00] | – Emmet is dead? – I’m sorry for your loss. | -艾米特死了吗 -请你节哀顺变 |
[03:06] | – I have news about Emmet! – I know. | -我有关于艾米特的消息 -我知道 |
[03:09] | He’s dead. | 他死了 |
[03:10] | No, he’s not. | 不 才没有 |
[03:12] | And I know where he is. | 我知道他在哪里 |
[03:24] | Emmet’s alive? | 艾米特还活着吗 |
[03:25] | He was spotted ten minutes ago. | 有人十分钟前看到了他 |
[03:27] | Well, how can you be sure it was him? | 你怎么确定那是他 |
[03:29] | I’ve been monitoring your fan website, | 我在监控你的粉丝网站 |
[03:31] | ilovevictoriachase.com, | 「我爱维多利亚·蔡斯」网 |
[03:32] | for unusual activity, | 查找不寻常的行为 |
[03:34] | and there are only two IP addresses in the world | 世界上只有两个IP地址 |
[03:36] | that log on to that site multiple times a day. | 一天上很多次那个网站 |
[03:39] | One, right here in this house. | 一个在这屋子里 |
[03:42] | Just one in this house? N-never mind. | 这屋里只有一个吗 无所谓了 |
[03:45] | The other is from a remote region in the mountains of Kafiristan, | 另一个是卡菲里斯坦山区里的偏远地区 |
[03:48] | and I just spoke to a villager there | 我刚和那里的一位村民谈过了 |
[03:50] | who saw a tall white man | 他看见了一个高大的白人 |
[03:52] | pouring water in and out of his nose. | 往鼻孔里倒水 然后让水流出来 |
[03:54] | Oh, my Emmet! | 天啊 我的艾米特 |
[03:56] | Honey, he’s alive! | 亲爱的 他还活着 |
[03:59] | Oh, I have so many questions and emotions. | 我心里有好多问题 也百感交集 |
[04:02] | Why hasn’t Emmet gotten in touch with me? | 为什么艾米特没和我联系 |
[04:05] | I haven’t heard anything from him since that note | 自从那张他放在我婚礼鞋里的便条后 |
[04:08] | that he left in my wedding shoe at– | 我就再也没有他的消息了 |
[04:11] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
[04:13] | The hideous boots. | 那双奇丑的靴子 |
[04:21] | “Victoria, here is the plan I promised you. | “维多利亚 这是我向你保证过的计划 |
[04:25] | I faked my own death, | 我伪造了自己的死亡 |
[04:27] | hoping you might join me in fake death | 希望你可以和我一样伪造死亡 |
[04:29] | until real death do us part.” | 直到真正的死亡把我们分开” |
[04:33] | Wait, he’s asking you to fake your own death? | 等等 他让你伪造死亡吗 |
[04:36] | That is crazy. | 那太疯狂了 |
[04:37] | I faked my own death | 我就伪造过死亡 |
[04:40] | to get out of the Columbia record club. | 才得以从哥伦比亚唱片购买会退会 |
[04:46] | He says a private plane will be waiting for me at noon on Sunday, | 他说周日正午会有一架私人飞机等我 |
[04:49] | and he enclosed his wedding ring. | 他还附上了结婚戒指 |
[04:51] | Could you– | 你能不能… |
[04:52] | “if I see you again, slip it back on my finger. | “如果我们能再相见 重新把它戴上我的手指 |
[04:55] | If not, keep it as a memento | 如果见不到 就把这个当做纪念品 |
[04:58] | of the man who remains eternally yours, Emmet.” | 纪念一个永远属于你的男人 艾米特” |
[05:05] | What are you gonna do? | 你打算怎么做 |
[05:07] | I don’t know. It–it’s crazy. | 我不知道 这太疯狂了 |
[05:10] | I mean, if I go to Kafiristan, | 如果我去卡菲里斯坦 |
[05:12] | then I won’t ever see you guys again | 那我就没法再见到你们了 |
[05:15] | or my children. | 还有我的孩子们 |
[05:17] | Honey, you can’t seriously be considering this. | 亲爱的 你不会真在考虑这样做吧 |
[05:19] | Of course I would have to tell my family the truth, | 当然我得告诉家人真相 |
[05:21] | but they’d keep my secret. | 但他们会为我保密 |
[05:24] | Look, I know there are a hundred reasons I shouldn’t go, | 我知道有一百个我不该去的理由 |
[05:26] | but there’s one reason I have to. | 但是有一个我必须去的理由 |
[05:29] | I love him. | 我爱他 |
[05:30] | Victoria, no, you can’t go. | 维多利亚 你不能去 |
[05:33] | You don’t even know where Kafiristan is. | 你都不知道卡菲里斯坦在哪儿 |
[05:34] | I don’t know where anything is! | 地球上的任何地方我都搞不清 |
[05:37] | But I know how to pop an Ambien and get on a private plane. | 但我知道怎么服下安眠药 然后登上私人飞机 |
[05:41] | Look, I have made my decision, | 我已经决定了 |
[05:43] | and there is nothing you can do to stop me. | 你们没法阻止我 |
[05:46] | Of course my public will expect me to die in dramatic fashion– | 当然 我的粉丝会指望我戏剧性地死去 |
[05:50] | elegantly, cinematically. | 优雅高贵 像电影一样 |
[05:54] | I’ve got it– | 我想到了 |
[05:55] | I am so despondent over Emmet’s death | 艾米特的死让我意志消沉 |
[05:57] | that I throw myself off a bridge. | 于是跳河自尽了 |
[05:59] | And no one can ever find my body. | 没人能找到我的尸体 |
[06:02] | Now I just have to stage my funeral. | 现在我只需来场假葬礼就行 |
[06:05] | I’ll take care of that. | 交给我吧 |
[06:09] | Have you ever planned a funeral before? | 你之前策划过葬礼吗 |
[06:11] | I’ve been planning three of them since you moved in. | 自从你们搬进来以后 我在心里策划过三场呢 |
[06:24] | Mm, no, these are the smoothest. | 不 这些是最丝滑的 |
[06:26] | Definitely go with Dove dark chocolate | 绝对要选德芙黑巧克力 |
[06:29] | for the Victoria Chase memorial swag bags. | 放进维多利亚·蔡斯追悼会大礼包 |
[06:33] | Shh, I’m on with CNN. | 嘘 我在和CNN通话 |
[06:36] | Oh, yes, hi, this is Victoria Chase’s publicist | 对 你好 我是维多利亚·蔡斯的公关 |
[06:38] | with details about her death. | 我有她死亡的详情 |
[06:39] | Tragic death. | 惨死 |
[06:41] | Tragic death. | 惨死的详情 |
[06:42] | You’re doing it all wrong. I’ll get the script. | 你都没做对 我去拿脚本 |
[06:45] | Yeah, well, yes, grieving the loss of her husband, | 是啊 维多利亚失去了丈夫 悲痛欲绝 |
[06:47] | Victoria leapt to her death from Veterans Bridge. | 从退伍军人纪念大桥上一跃而下 |
[06:50] | Oh, my God! Victoria’s dead? | 天啊 维多利亚死了吗 |
[06:52] | Shh! | 嘘 |
[06:53] | Excuse me, Simon. | 让一让 西蒙 |
[06:58] | “She was so thin and weightless, | “她如此苗条轻盈 |
[07:00] | she barely made a splash.” | 入水甚至都没有溅起水花” |
[07:03] | “Services will be held Sunday at noon at the Cleveland playhouse.” | “周日正午将在克利夫兰剧场举办追悼会” |
[07:07] | Yes, thank you. | 是的 谢谢 |
[07:08] | What’s going on? | 怎么回事 |
[07:10] | Victoria’s faking her death because Emmet faked his. | 维多利亚在伪造死亡 因为艾米特也伪造了 |
[07:13] | Maybe it’s because I’m in journalism, | 也许是因为我是个记者 |
[07:15] | but I think there might be a story here. | 但我觉得这是一篇报道的好题材 |
[07:17] | Simon, kitchen. | 西蒙 来厨房 |
[07:22] | You can’t reveal any of this in the press. | 你不能在媒体上披露这事 |
[07:24] | But an expose on Emmet would be huge. | 但是揭露艾米特的事会是重大新闻 |
[07:26] | I can see the headline now, | 我都能看见标题了 |
[07:27] | “Emmet Lawson is not really dead because he faked his own death.” | “艾米特·劳森没死 因为他伪造了自己的死亡” |
[07:30] | Don’t worry, someone else writes the headline. | 别担心 写标题的是有才的专业人士 |
[07:34] | Yeah, but you can’t do that to Victoria. | 好吧 但你不能这样对维多利亚 |
[07:36] | Or me or us, right? | 或者我 或者我们 对吧 |
[07:38] | No, of course. I get it. | 不 当然啦 我明白 |
[07:40] | – Okay, then, thank you. – Okay. | -那就好 谢谢 -好 |
[07:45] | Simon promised he won’t do the story. | 西蒙保证他不会进行报道 |
[07:47] | Oh, thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
[07:55] | Oh, no! It’s Mike. | 不好 是麦克 |
[07:57] | The little spoon. | 小勺子 |
[07:59] | I forgot we were going out tonight. | 我忘了我们今晚要去约会 |
[08:02] | Go hide, you’re dead. | 藏起来 你已经死了 |
[08:04] | That’s him? Pretty big for a little spoon. | 那是他吗 真是个大型的”小勺子”啊 |
[08:08] | I know! It’s all wrong. | 我知道 这一切都不对 |
[08:10] | But I have a brilliant plan. | 但我有个很棒的计划 |
[08:12] | Tonight, I’m gonna beat him to the little spoon position. | 今晚 我要比他先摆出小勺子的姿势 |
[08:16] | – Shall we spoon? – Sure. | -我们来勺式抱抱吧 -当然啦 |
[08:25] | Hey, where are ya? My back’s getting cold. | 你在哪儿呢 我的背好凉 |
[08:30] | Be right there. | 马上来 |
[08:33] | Unbelievable. | 难以置信 |
[08:35] | Halle Berry looks good in every photo. | 哈莉·贝瑞每张照片都很漂亮 |
[08:38] | Ooh, here’s one. | 这有一张 |
[08:40] | Her legs look pale and pasty, and I see some cellulite! | 她的腿看起来十分苍白 我还看见脂肪团了 |
[08:43] | And it’s me. | 原来是我 |
[08:47] | Wait, why do you have a picture of Victoria? | 等等 你为什么有维多利亚的照片 |
[08:50] | And it’s date stamped today. | 而且是今天拍的 |
[08:51] | Simon, you promised! | 西蒙 你保证过了的 |
[08:53] | Sorry, it’s a reflex action. | 抱歉 这是反射行为 |
[08:55] | I see a celebrity misbehaving, I snap a photo. | 我看见名人行为不端 就会拍下照片 |
[08:57] | But Victoria is our friend. | 但维多利亚是我们的朋友 |
[08:59] | Well, I could keep Victoria out of it. | 我可以不提维多利亚 |
[09:00] | Emmet is the real story. | 艾米特才是大猛料 |
[09:01] | But that would hurt Victoria too. | 但那样也会伤害维多利亚 |
[09:03] | Well, all of my photos hurt somebody. | 我所有的照片都会伤害到明星 |
[09:05] | That’s my job. | 那是我的工作 |
[09:06] | Well, if it’s made you so callous, | 如果这份工作让你如此无情 |
[09:08] | maybe you shouldn’t do that job! | 也许你该辞职 |
[09:09] | Says the woman who just spent ten minutes | 你刚刚花了十分钟时间努力在 |
[09:11] | trying to find a trace of cellulite on Halle Berry’s ass! | 哈莉·贝瑞的屁股上找脂肪团 还好意思说我 |
[09:15] | That’s different. And don’t ask why, it just is. | 那不一样 别问原因 就是不一样 |
[09:19] | Simon, you said yourself | 西蒙 你自己也说过 |
[09:20] | you were sick of hiding in trees and dumpsters | 你受够了躲在树林和垃圾桶里 |
[09:23] | and taking pictures of celebrities pumping gas. | 拍摄名人加油的照片 |
[09:26] | Why do people want celebrities to be just like us? | 人们为什么想看到名人普通人的一面 |
[09:28] | It makes no sense! | 根本没道理 |
[09:30] | Joy, one photo of Emmet Lawson alive would be worth millions. | 乔依 一张活着的艾米特·劳森的照片价值数百万 |
[09:34] | I could get out of the game | 我可以洗手不干 |
[09:36] | and still pay for our grandson’s education. | 还能付得起我们孙子的学费 |
[09:38] | I wouldn’t let that money go to Wilbur. | 我才不会让威尔伯用那笔钱 |
[09:41] | Simon, if you do this, we’re through. | 西蒙 如果你这么做 我们就玩完 |
[09:43] | What, you’re threatening me now? | 怎么 你这是在威胁我吗 |
[09:45] | You can’t tell me how to run my business. | 你不能命令我如何工作 |
[09:46] | Maybe not, but I can tell you to get out of my bed! | 或许是不能 但我可以命令你滚下我的床 |
[09:48] | Oh, fine! | 行吧 |
[09:51] | – So what are you gonna do? – I don’t know. | -你打算怎么做 -我不知道 |
[09:52] | But if we’re gonna stay together, | 但如果我们要在一起的话 |
[09:53] | you gotta learn that I’m the one | 你必须明白在这段关系中 |
[09:54] | that wears the pants in this relationship. | 我才是占据主导地位的人[穿裤子] |
[09:57] | Those are my pants. | 那是我的裤子 |
[09:58] | I should have known! They’re busting my balls! | 我早该察觉到的 勒得我蛋蛋疼 |
[10:04] | So once again, last night, I was the big spoon. | 昨天晚上我又做了次大勺子 |
[10:08] | I’m just gonna have to tell him straight to his face. | 我必须直接当面跟他说清楚 |
[10:10] | Make a nice change from talking to his neck. | 总比对着他的脖子说话好多了 |
[10:15] | – Has Simon called? – No, why, what’s up? | -西蒙打电话来了吗 -没有 出什么事了 |
[10:18] | We had a fight. | 我们吵架了 |
[10:19] | He wants to break the story about you and Emmet. | 他想披露你和艾米特的事 |
[10:21] | What? You’ve got to stop him. | 什么 你一定要阻止他 |
[10:23] | I hope I did. | 但愿我阻止住了 |
[10:25] | I told him if he went ahead with it, | 我跟他说如果他执意披露 |
[10:26] | he’d never see me again. | 他就再也别想见到我了 |
[10:28] | Couldn’t you have come up with a better threat? | 你就不能想个威力大一点的威胁吗 |
[10:32] | Listen, what are we gonna do? | 听着 我们该怎么做才好 |
[10:34] | I can’t do anything. Everything is in motion. | 我什么都做不了 一切已经启动了 |
[10:36] | I’ve got a plane to catch. | 我还得去赶飞机呢 |
[10:38] | If Simon does this, | 如果西蒙真这么做 |
[10:39] | then Emmet and I are just gonna have to stay one step ahead of him. | 那艾米特和我只能抢在他前面一步了 |
[10:44] | I can’t believe you’re leaving. | 我真不敢相信你要走了 |
[10:47] | I’m gonna miss you so much. | 我一定会很想你的 |
[10:50] | Me too. | 我也是 |
[10:52] | You’re my best friends, | 你们是我最好的朋友们 |
[10:53] | and I love you. | 我爱你们 |
[10:55] | I can’t imagine what it’s gonna be like | 我简直无法想象没有你 |
[10:56] | living here without you. | 我们住在这里是什么感觉 |
[10:58] | I know. | 我知道 |
[10:59] | I’ve been the sun that you three revolve around. | 我就像是太阳 你们三个一直绕着我转 |
[11:08] | But still, I know, it’s hard to say good-bye. | 不过 我知道 离别在心口难开 |
[11:12] | You’re making it easier. | 你这样使离别变得容易很多 |
[11:18] | I directed Victoria in 27 lifetime original movies, | 我执导了维多利亚主演的27部生活台的电影 |
[11:21] | and although she never learned my name, | 尽管她从来记不住我的名字 |
[11:24] | I was proud to call her my friend. | 我依然很骄傲地视她为朋友 |
[11:26] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[11:30] | Sadly, Victoria’s daughter Emmy could not join us today, | 很遗憾 维多利亚的女儿艾美今天无法前来 |
[11:32] | but she sends these words. | 但她发来了一段话 |
[11:35] | “My mother was an angel and an inspiration to me. | “我母亲是一位天使 一直激励着我 |
[11:39] | We were blessed to have had such | 我们的生命中能有这样 |
[11:40] | a bright, brilliant flame in our lives. | 一团明亮 灿烂的火焰真是莫大的福佑 |
[11:43] | I will be heartbroken without her.” | 没有她 我将会心碎” |
[11:47] | It’s especially sad when they’re taken so young. | 当人年纪轻轻就去世 只让人觉得更悲伤 |
[11:49] | She lived a full life. | 她的一生都过得很充实 |
[11:51] | True, but still, she died young. | 是没错 但她英年早逝 |
[11:52] | – Well– – she was young. | -其实… -她死时还很年轻 |
[11:56] | And I know you remember this man. | 我知道你们肯定记得这个男人 |
[11:57] | Ram Sterling, from Edge of Tomorrow. | 莱姆·斯特林 来自《明日边缘》剧组 |
[12:03] | Victoria Chase was a miracle worker. | 维多利亚·蔡斯是个奇迹缔造者 |
[12:06] | We did a scene on edge where she first shot me, | 在《明日边缘》中有场戏是她先开枪打中我 |
[12:09] | then made love to me | 然后和我疯狂地做爱 |
[12:11] | before leaving me to die in an abandoned diamond mine. | 最后把我丢在废弃的钻石矿井中孤独死去 |
[12:16] | When I read it, I thought, “no way.” | 我看剧本时 心想这不可能演出来吧 |
[12:20] | But Vic acted it real, and it sang. | 但小维演得很逼真 受到大赞 |
[12:26] | It was a gift to play her brother all those years. | 能够扮演她的弟弟这么多年真是天赐的福气 |
[12:33] | Now, some of you may know that I am a amateur painter. | 你们当中有些人或许知道我是个业余画家 |
[12:37] | And in the final season of Edge of Tomorrow, | 在《明日边缘》的最终季中 |
[12:40] | Victoria graciously posed for a nude portrait | 维多利亚优雅地做了一回裸模 |
[12:42] | on the condition that I would not show it until after her death. | 条件是我必须等到她去世后才能公开这幅画 |
[12:48] | Oh, dear God. | 老天啊 |
[12:51] | Those are real. | 那胸可是真材实料 |
[12:55] | – Simon! – Before you say anything, | -西蒙 -在你开口之前 |
[12:57] | I deleted the photo, | 我想说我删掉了照片 |
[12:58] | and I’m not gonna do the story on Emmet. | 也不会披露关于艾米特的事 |
[13:00] | But not because my girlfriend told me to. | 但这并不是因为我女朋友要求我这样做 |
[13:02] | I decided on my own. | 我是自己决定的 |
[13:04] | Still, this girlfriend must be pretty amazing for you to do that. | 但你女朋友一定很赞 才会让你愿意这么做 |
[13:07] | She is. | 她确实很赞 |
[13:09] | Well, then you better not tell her | 那你最好别告诉她 |
[13:10] | that I’m about to kiss you. | 我要吻你了 |
[13:13] | Thank you, Ram, for that, uh, wonderfully graphic tribute. | 谢谢你 莱姆 用一幅精彩的画作向她致敬 |
[13:17] | And now, Victoria’s dear friend | 接下来维多利亚最亲密的朋友 |
[13:18] | Elka Ostrovsky would like to say a few words. | 爱尔卡·奥斯特洛夫斯基想上台致辞 |
[13:24] | Victoria Chase may have been vain, | 维多利亚·蔡斯一直以来或许都爱虚荣 |
[13:27] | bubbleheaded, and crazy… | 愚蠢 疯狂 |
[13:31] | But? | 但是 |
[13:32] | There’s no “but.” | 没有但是 |
[13:39] | Victoria was more than a friend to me. | 维多利亚对我来说不仅仅是个朋友 |
[13:42] | She was a sister. | 她更像是个姐妹 |
[13:43] | Loyal and generous | 忠诚 慷慨 |
[13:45] | and wiser than she ever got credit for. | 也比大家认为的要睿智得多 |
[13:49] | I’ll miss you forever, my darling. | 我会永远想念你的 亲爱的 |
[13:51] | We all will. We love you, Victoria. | 我们都会的 我们爱你 维多利亚 |
[13:54] | You are leaving a hole in our lives that can never be filled. | 你在我们的生命中留下了永远无法填补的空虚 |
[13:58] | May I say something, please? | 我能说几句话吗 |
[14:05] | Lucci. | 露琪 |
[14:07] | Thank you so much. | 非常感谢大家 |
[14:09] | And thank you, Victoria, | 也谢谢你 维多利亚 |
[14:12] | for so many, many, many years of work. | 付出了那么那么 那么多年的努力 |
[14:17] | Rising before dawn to put on all that makeup… | 天没亮就起来化妆 |
[14:22] | In a brave but futile attempt to hide the ravages of time. | 勇敢地想掩盖岁月的痕迹 但却徒劳无功 |
[14:27] | And now, picturing her in a coffin | 现在 想象她躺在棺材中的样子 |
[14:30] | reminds me of those performances. | 让我想起了她生前的表演 |
[14:34] | Stiff and lifeless, | 僵硬且死气沉沉 |
[14:37] | held together with chemicals and glue. | 完全靠化学制剂和胶水勉强撑着 |
[14:40] | Something best buried and forgotten. | 最好赶快埋掉 彻底遗忘吧 |
[14:46] | Oh, Victoria. | 维多利亚 |
[14:49] | I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, | 我向自己保证过不哭的 |
[14:52] | and I’ve kept that promise. | 我很好地遵守了这个承诺 |
[14:55] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[15:02] | What? | 怎么了 |
[15:03] | We all know I deserved to win that year. | 我们都心知肚明那年该我拿奖才对 |
[15:16] | I can’t believe Victoria is really gone. | 我真不敢相信维多利亚真的走了 |
[15:18] | I can’t believe I miss her. | 我真不敢相信我想她了 |
[15:22] | I’m worried about her. | 我很担心她 |
[15:24] | I mean, it gets down to 20 below in Kafiristan. | 卡菲里斯坦的温度在20华氏度以下呢 |
[15:26] | This is a woman who doesn’t own anything with sleeves. | 但她连一件带袖子的衣服都没有 |
[15:30] | Hello, everyone. | 大家好啊 |
[15:31] | Victoria, you’re here! | 维多利亚 你回来了 |
[15:32] | – Oh, honey, you didn’t go! – No, I just– | -亲爱的 你没走啊 -没有 我只是 |
[15:34] | I couldn’t do it. | 我做不到 |
[15:37] | Of course, I had to go and just take a peek | 当然了 我肯定得去亲自观摩一下 |
[15:39] | at my own funeral, but– oh, look, I– | 我自己的葬礼 但是 我… |
[15:42] | it just convinced me that I had too many reasons to stay. | 我后来意识到 我有太多的理由要留下来 |
[15:46] | You know, I love Emmet, | 我很爱艾米特 |
[15:47] | but I can’t just kill off everyone else in my life. | 但我不能抹杀我生命中的其他人 |
[15:51] | But what am I gonna do now? | 但我现在该怎么做才好 |
[15:53] | I mean, the whole world thinks that I threw myself off a bridge. | 全世界都以为我跳桥身亡了 |
[15:58] | Actually, nobody thinks that. | 实际上 没人那么认为 |
[16:00] | What? | 什么 |
[16:02] | We never reported your fake death. | 我们根本没有报道过你的假死事件 |
[16:05] | No, but Melanie was on the phone with– | 不是 但梅兰妮之前打电话给… |
[16:06] | I was never on the phone with the press. | 我根本没有打电话通知媒体 |
[16:08] | And that memorial service was staged. | 那场追悼会也是伪造的 |
[16:10] | It was a fake fake funeral. | 那是场假”假葬礼” |
[16:16] | Victoria, we know you. | 维多利亚 我们很了解你 |
[16:18] | A room full of people singing your praises– | 一屋子的人在那儿赞颂你 |
[16:20] | we knew you couldn’t pass that up. | 我们知道你一定不会错过的 |
[16:22] | And once you realized what you’d be giving up, | 一旦你意识到你将要放弃些什么 |
[16:24] | we hoped you’d come to your senses. | 我们希望你能恢复理智 |
[16:27] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
[16:29] | So none of those nice things people were saying were true. | 所以大家说的那些好话没有一句是真的 |
[16:31] | No, honey, they were true. | 不 亲爱的 那些都是真的 |
[16:33] | We told them that it was part of a new reality show | 我们跟他们说那是在录制一档新的真人秀 |
[16:36] | called celebrity funerals, | 名字叫做《名人葬礼》 |
[16:39] | which we would film now | 我们先提前拍摄 |
[16:40] | and air immediately after you do die. | 等你真正死掉就播出 |
[16:44] | I would watch that show. | 我一定会收看那节目的 |
[16:47] | Well, we’re really glad you stayed, and… | 我们真的很开心你留下来了 并且… |
[16:50] | I’m sure Emmet will understand. | 我相信艾米特一定会理解的 |
[16:52] | Oh, but it breaks my heart. | 但是我心碎了 |
[16:54] | As happy as I am that Emmet is alive, | 尽管我很开心艾米特还活着 |
[16:57] | I’m never gonna see him again. | 我却再也见不到他了 |
[16:58] | Oh, come on, you don’t know that. | 别这么说 那可不一定 |
[17:00] | But no matter what happens, we will help you through it. | 但不管发生什么事 我们都会帮你挺过去的 |
[17:02] | Well, I’m counting on that. | 那我就指望着你们了 |
[17:06] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[17:13] | Good-bye, Emmet. | 再见 艾米特 |
[17:15] | Until we meet again. | 直到我们再次相见 |
[17:27] | Why didn’t you say anything? | 你之前怎么什么都不说 |
[17:29] | I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. | 我不想伤害你的感情 |
[17:32] | Look, I’ve never spooned the other way before, | 听着 我之前从没当”大勺子”抱过人 |
[17:35] | but what the hell? A guy can change, right? | 但管它呢 男人是可以改变的 对吧 |
[17:38] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[17:47] | – How’s this for you? – I love it. | -你觉得怎么样 -我好爱啊 |
[17:53] | I have got the biggest thank-you planned for what you did today. | 我想大大地”感谢”你今天的所为 |
[17:57] | Well, before you thank my brains out, | 在你”谢”得我欲仙欲死之前 |
[17:58] | which I’m very much looking forward to, | 尽管我很期待那样 |
[18:01] | I want to talk to you about something. | 我有点正事想跟你谈谈 |
[18:03] | Victoria’s funeral got me thinking | 维多利亚的葬礼让我开始思考 |
[18:05] | about what I want to do before I die. | 我想在死前做些什么 |
[18:07] | I want you to look at me and see a good guy, | 我希望你看着我 看到的是一个好人 |
[18:09] | not someone who’s remembered for getting a photo | 而不是一个蹲点拍摄 |
[18:11] | of Gwyneth Paltrow in an unflattering bathing suit. | 格温妮丝·帕特洛身着丑陋泳衣的狗仔 |
[18:14] | Does that exist? | 真有那样的照片吗 |
[18:16] | Yes, but that’s not important. | 是的 但那不是重点 |
[18:19] | What’s important is, you’ve inspired me to make a change. | 重点是 你让我想改变自己 |
[18:22] | I quit my job. | 我辞职了 |
[18:24] | You did? What are you gonna do? | 真的吗 你接下来打算做什么 |
[18:27] | Well, here’s where it gets tricky. | 所以接下来的问题有点棘手 |
[18:29] | A buddy of mine is making a documentary in the Sudan, | 我一个朋友正在苏丹拍摄一部纪录片 |
[18:32] | and he’s asked me to be part of it. | 他邀请我也去参与其中 |
[18:34] | Oh, Simon, that’s so exciting! | 西蒙 真是太令人激动了 |
[18:36] | You’ve always wanted to do that. | 你一直都想做这个 |
[18:38] | but I’d be embedded with an elite military unit. | 但那样我就得跟一支精锐部队一起出发了 |
[18:41] | They want me to leave next week. | 他们希望我下周就走 |
[18:42] | I wouldn’t know where I was going or how long I’d be gone. | 我不知道我要去哪儿 也不知道要去多久 |
[18:47] | Well, of course, you have to say yes. | 你当然得答应了 |
[18:50] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
[18:51] | I am. | 我确定 |
[18:53] | I can’t ask you to wait for me. | 我无权要求你等着我 |
[18:55] | Don’t get me wrong, I want you to. | 别误会我的意思 我想要你等我 |
[18:57] | I just don’t think it’d be fair. | 但我觉得那对你不公平 |
[18:59] | I feel terrible. | 我感觉好难受 |
[19:01] | It’s like it’s 30 years ago, and I’m leaving you again. | 就跟30年前一样 现在我又要抛下你了 |
[19:04] | Only this time, I’m being left by a better man. | 但是这次 抛下我的是一个变好了的男人 |
[19:12] | Maybe we shouldn’t talk about your leaving. | 或许我们不该谈论你要离开的事 |
[19:14] | Yes, let’s remember that we’re British | 正是 我们得时刻谨记自己是英国人 |
[19:16] | and pretend that everything is normal. | 假装一切都很正常 |
[19:19] | Yes, keep calm and carry on. | 是的 淡定 继续干 |
[19:29] | Just how unflattering was Gwyneth’s bathing suit? | 格温妮丝的泳衣到底有多丑啊 |
[19:34] | Hideous–flattened her breasts | 丑爆了 把她的胸部勒平了 |
[19:35] | and gave her back fat. | 背部还挤出一堆肉 |
[19:37] | Oh, yes! | 太爽了 |