| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | I can’t believe it’s been four years to the day | 真不敢相信 到今天为止 |
| [00:06] | since we crash-landed in Cleveland. | 我们迫降在克利夫兰已经有四年了 |
| [00:09] | We should celebrate. | 我们应该庆祝 |
| [00:10] | Oh, wait. We can’t do this without Elka. | 慢着 没有爱尔卡可不行 |
| [00:12] | You know what’s really strange? | 知道什么很奇怪吗 |
| [00:14] | In four years, we’ve never been inside Elka’s house. | 四年了 我们没进过爱尔卡的房间 |
| [00:16] | Yeah, she always has some excuse. | 她总是有借口 |
| [00:18] | “Oh, don’t come in. The place is a mess.” | “别进来 里面一团糟” |
| [00:19] | “Don’t come in. I have a man in here.” | “别进来 我这里有男人” |
| [00:21] | “Don’t come in. I don’t like you.” | “别进来 我不喜欢你” |
| [00:24] | You know what? This is silly. | 真是太傻了 |
| [00:26] | We should just go over there. | 我们得过去 |
| [00:27] | Yeah. | 就是 |
| [00:30] | Don’t come in. | 别进来 |
| [00:32] | I don’t like you. | 我不喜欢你 |
| [00:34] | Elka, come on. | 爱尔卡 拜托 |
| [00:35] | We want to celebrate with you. | 我们想和你一起庆祝 |
| [00:36] | Today is the anniversary of when we moved to Cleveland. | 今天是我们搬到克利夫兰的纪念日 |
| [00:39] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [00:40] | You arrived, Lebron left. | 你们来了 勒布朗走了 |
| [00:42] | Worst trade ever. | 史上最亏的交易 |
| [00:44] | Will you just let us in? | 让我们进去行吗 |
| [00:46] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [00:47] | But don’t freak out. | 不过别被吓坏了 |
| [00:50] | What the– | 搞什么 |
| [00:51] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [00:52] | All right. | 好啦 |
| [00:53] | Come on in. | 进来吧 |
| [00:55] | How is this possible? | 这怎么可能 |
| [00:56] | The short explanation is the house is built | 简单的解释就是这个房子建在 |
| [00:59] | over a portal to another universe. | 通往另一宇宙的入口上 |
| [01:00] | But how does– | 怎么可能 |
| [01:01] | I could go into the exact whys and hows, | 我可以跟你们详述一个来龙去脉 |
| [01:03] | but you’d need to read this book on string theory first. | 但你们得先读这本《弦理论》 |
| [01:07] | – It’s fine. – We’re good. | -没事了 -不用解释 |
| [01:08] | We don’t really know how botox works either. | 我们也不知道肉毒杆菌的原理 |
| [01:11] | Oh, my god. We have visitors. | 老天 有访客 |
| [01:13] | Oh, yeah, and the dog talks. | 对了 这里狗可以说话 |
| [01:15] | Why is George Clooney wearing socks and sandals? | 为什么乔治·克鲁尼穿着袜子和拖鞋 |
| [01:17] | He’s German. | 它是德国狗 |
| [01:18] | Technically, ich bin Pomeranian. | 确切来说 在下是博美犬 |
| [01:20] | I don’t know about anyone else, | 我不知道其他人怎么想的 |
| [01:21] | but I could go for a driving montage. | 我可以来段开车兜风蒙太奇 |
| [01:23] | Melanie, where are your manners? | 梅兰妮 你的礼貌呢 |
| [01:25] | Opening credits first. | 得先播片头 |
| [01:32] | Look over there. | 看那边 |
| [01:33] | It’s the beautiful cuyahoga river. | 美丽的凯霍加河 |
| [01:36] | And there’s the Cleveland indians’ stadium. | 克利夫兰印第安人队主场 |
| [01:37] | 进步球场 自1948年起再无冠军 | |
| [01:41] | And that must be severance hall, | 那一定是赛佛伦斯音乐厅 |
| [01:43] | where the world-renowned Cleveland orchestra plays. | 世界著名的克利夫兰管弦乐队演出的地方 |
| [01:48] | 摇滚名人堂 没错 就是在克利夫兰 不服来战 | |
| [01:53] | Oh, no. | 不好 |
| [01:54] | The rock and roll hall of fame is closed. | 摇滚名人堂关门了 |
| [01:56] | I think I have something that can open that. | 我想我有东西可以打开 |
| [01:59] | So do I. | 我也有 |
| [02:04] | And that, ladies, is how you get inside | 女士们 想进摇滚名人堂 |
| [02:06] | the rock and roll hall of fame. | 就得这样 |
| [02:16] | Hey, get me out of here. | 放我出去 |
| [02:21] | Steven Tyler? | 斯蒂夫·泰勒 |
| [02:23] | Mr. Tyler, I’m a huge fan. | 泰勒先生 我是你的铁杆粉丝 |
| [02:25] | Look at those hands. | 看这双手 |
| [02:26] | Lady looks like a dude. | 这女的看起来像爷们儿 |
| [02:28] | What were you doing in the trunk of Janis Joplin’s porsche? | 你在珍妮丝·贾普林的保时捷后备箱里做什么 |
| [02:30] | I got in an argument with Stevie Nicks | 我和史蒂薇·尼克斯争论 |
| [02:32] | about who wears scarves better. | 谁戴丝巾更好看 |
| [02:34] | Before I knew it, she cast a spell on me | 我还没反应过来 她向我施了咒语 |
| [02:34] | 史蒂薇自称是女巫 在美剧《美国恐怖故事》里 也以女巫身份出镜 | |
| [02:36] | and locked me in a trunk. | 把我锁进了后备箱 |
| [02:37] | And damn it, now I either have to grant you three wishes | 该死 现在我要么满足你们三个愿望 |
| [02:40] | or be your butler for life. | 要么一辈子做你们的管家 |
| [02:42] | Wishes. We want wishes. | 愿望 我们要愿望 |
| [02:44] | Okay, okay. | 好啦好啦 |
| [02:44] | I know everybody’s first wish is world peace, so… | 我知道所有人第一个愿望都会是世界和平 所以 |
| [02:47] | Eternal youth and beauty. | 永远年轻美丽 |
| [02:49] | You all want in? | 你们都要这个吗 |
| [02:50] | – Yes. – I’ll left out. | -是的 -不用算我了 |
| [02:51] | The secret to my happiness is doing | 我快乐的秘密就是 |
| [02:53] | the opposite of these three loons. | 这三个傻子做什么 我就反着来 |
| [02:55] | No problem. | 没问题 |
| [02:56] | You and I will pass the time together, right, cutie? | 你和我会一起打发时光 对吗 美女 |
| [02:58] | – Dream on. – Wow! | -做梦去 -哇 |
| [03:00] | So that’s what rejection from a woman feels like. | 原来被女人拒绝是这种感觉 |
| [03:03] | Eternal youth and beauty for three coming right up. | 三位点的是永远年轻美丽 马上就来 |
| [03:07] | Oh, my god. | 老天 |
| [03:08] | We’re in Paris. | 我们到巴黎了 |
| [03:10] | But why are we here? | 但我们为什么来这里 |
| [03:11] | This isn’t what we wished for. | 这不是我们的愿望 |
| [03:12] | Maybe we’re finally going to Paris like we intended four years ago, | 也许我们像四年前打算的那样 终于到了巴黎 |
| [03:15] | when we crash-landed in Cleveland. | 当时我们迫降在了克利夫兰 |
| [03:20] | Hey, we thought Cleveland was the ticket | 我们以为克利夫兰是通往 |
| [03:21] | to eternal youth and beauty, | 永远年轻美丽的门票 |
| [03:23] | but we seem to be hot in Paris too. | 但看来我们在巴黎也是美人啊 |
| [03:26] | The models came out in two straight lines. | 模特们排成两行走出来 |
| [03:29] | The smallest one was 5’9″. | 最矮小的一个身高为1米75 |
| [03:33] | We need eternal youth and beauty. | 我们需要永远年轻美丽 |
| [03:37] | What are these tickets? | 这是什么券 |
| [03:38] | Ladies, | 女士们 |
| [03:39] | follow me to the institute of eternal youth and beauty. | 跟我去永远年轻美丽的所在之地 |
| [03:44] | You’re not an example of the work that they do, are you? | 你不是他们出产的样品吧 对吗 |
| [03:47] | Beauty is in the soul. | 美丽是内在的 |
| [03:49] | That better not be the lesson we’re learning. | 这最好不是我们要学的东西 |
| [03:51] | Walk this way. | 这样走[这边走] |
| [03:54] | What didn’t you understand about “walk this way”? | “这样走”听不懂吗 |
| [03:59] | Bonne chance. | 祝你们好运 |
| [04:15] | Nailed it. | 轻轻松松 |
| [04:16] | Elka? | 爱尔卡 |
| [04:17] | Wilhelmina wonka. | 我是威莉米娜·旺卡 |
| [04:19] | I’m your ticket to youth and beauty. | 我是你们通往年轻美丽的门票 |
| [04:23] | ♪Who can take your wrinkles♪ | ♪谁可以将你们的皱纹♪ |
| [04:26] | ♪whisk them all away?♪ | ♪全部掸走♪ |
| [04:29] | ♪make your skin as smooth♪ | ♪令你们的肌肤娇嫩♪ |
| [04:31] | ♪as if you’ve bathed in retin-a♪ | ♪如同沐浴在维甲酸之中♪ |
| [04:33] | ♪the beauty man can♪ | ♪这些全靠我花样美男♪ |
| [04:34] | ♪You’re really not a man♪ | ♪但你不是男人啊♪ |
| [04:36] | ♪But “woman” wouldn’t scan.♪ | ♪说”美女”不押韵♪ |
| [04:42] | Welcome to my world, | 欢迎来到我的世界 |
| [04:44] | a world of pure rejuvenation. | 纯洁的永葆青春之地 |
| [04:47] | Fauna and flora designed by sephora. | 丝芙兰研发的纯天然化妆品 |
| [04:50] | Hair extensions growing in the trees. | 树上长驳发 |
| [04:55] | And should you find occasion for microdermabrasion… | 你会找到机会 来个微晶换肤术 |
| [05:00] | there’s sodium chloride crystals on the breeze | 微风中飘荡着氯化纳晶体 |
| [05:06] | ♪Is this real?♪ | ♪这是真的吗♪ |
| [05:08] | ♪a skin peel just by dunking♪ | ♪换肤治疗 只要把我的头♪ |
| [05:11] | ♪my head in this fountain♪ | ♪栽进这个喷泉就成♪ |
| [05:13] | ♪Not just that, lose your fat♪ | ♪不仅如此 要想去脂♪ |
| [05:16] | ♪at the top of lipo mountain♪ | ♪只需站在抽脂山上♪ |
| [05:20] | ♪The birdies in the skies♪ | ♪天空中的小鸟♪ |
| [05:22] | ♪have lasers in their eyes to zap♪ | ♪眼中能射出激光♪ |
| [05:25] | ♪unwanted facial hairs away♪ | ♪脱除面部多余的毛发♪ |
| [05:30] | ♪Yes, nothing can go wrong♪ | ♪没错 在美丽之乡♪ |
| [05:32] | ♪here in beauty land♪ | ♪一切都那么美好♪ |
| [05:37] | ♪So in beauty land we’ll stay♪ | ♪美丽之乡 我们会常留此地♪ |
| [05:47] | A word of caution, though. | 不过我得提醒你们小心 |
| [05:48] | Don’t let your vanity get the better of you. | 别让虚荣心占了上风 |
| [05:51] | For example, this river of pure botox– | 比如说 这条纯肉毒杆菌河 |
| [05:53] | 琼·里弗斯是美国著名女星 因打肉毒杆菌过度毁容 | |
| [05:53] | River of botox, you say? | 你是说肉毒杆菌河吗 |
| [05:56] | Stop! | 停下 |
| [05:56] | Do you want the same fate | 你想落得和 |
| [05:57] | as the real housewives of beverly hills? | 《比弗利娇妻》中的人一样下场吗 |
| [06:00] | What’s going to happen to them? | 她们结果会怎样 |
| [06:01] | Oh, we recycle. | 我们这里会回收再利用 |
| [06:04] | Nothing goes to waste here. | 这里没东西会浪费掉 |
| [06:05] | We use their implants for toss-a-cross. | 我们用她们的隆胸假体玩扔沙包游戏 |
| [06:08] | Hey, who are they? | 快看 那是什么人呀 |
| [06:10] | Those are the mamie sues, | 那些是梅米·苏们 |
| [06:11] | the little people who work for me. | 为我工作的小矮人 |
| [06:13] | Work with you. | 是和你一起工作的 |
| [06:14] | Ongoing labor dispute. Shall we continue the tour? | 劳资纠纷而已 继续参观好吗 |
| [06:19] | An inflatorator? | 充气室 |
| [06:19] | 充气室 危险 | |
| [06:21] | What does that do? | 这是做什么的 |
| [06:22] | ♪It pumps and plumps your boobs and ass♪ | ♪充啊充啊 充大咪咪和屁屁♪ |
| [06:24] | ♪enough to put on any glass.♪ | ♪大到宇宙无人敌♪ |
| [06:27] | But it’s still very much in the experimental stage. | 但还在实验阶段 |
| [06:29] | Now, come along. | 走吧 |
| [06:41] | Someone’s a bit handsy. | 某人有些咸猪手哦 |
| [06:46] | They’re right here. | 就在这里啦 |
| [06:49] | Oh, I say. | 哎呀真棒 |
| [06:51] | Joy, this is unsanctioned behavior. | 乔依 你这样是不允许的 |
| [06:53] | Look, I’ve always wanted this. | 我一直想要这个 |
| [06:54] | I just don’t know how big I should go. | 我只是不知道该要多大 |
| [06:56] | 小美人鱼级 贝尔级 | |
| [07:02] | This is wonderful. | 太棒啦 |
| [07:03] | Oh, my back hurts already. | 我的背部已经开始痛了[胸过大] |
| [07:06] | More! | 再大些 |
| [07:10] | More! | 再大些 |
| [07:14] | Help! | 救命 |
| [07:17] | ♪Boob jobs, butt jobs♪ | ♪隆胸隆臀♪ |
| [07:19] | ♪silly silicone♪ | ♪硅胶笨蛋♪ |
| [07:21] | ♪you’re better off being flat and alone♪ | ♪你不如平胸单身更好♪ |
| [07:25] | Melanie, tie Joy to your wrist, | 梅兰妮 把乔依系在手腕上 |
| [07:26] | and we’ll carry on. | 我们继续走 |
| [07:29] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [07:30] | This room contains the most | 这间房里有着全世界 |
| [07:32] | cutting-edge revitalization technology in the world. | 最前沿的年轻化科技 |
| [07:35] | It’s amazing. | 太棒了 |
| [07:37] | Pills… What do these do? | 药丸 这些有什么用 |
| [07:39] | Much stronger by far than any ablution. | 比目前任何净肤产品都要强劲 |
| [07:42] | For aging, this is the perfect solution. | 针对衰老 这是最完美的解决方案 |
| [07:44] | I call it “the ever-younger stopgobber.” | 我管这个叫 “还我漂漂丸” |
| [07:47] | I have a major announcement to make. | 我有重大消息要宣布 |
| [07:49] | I want an ever-younger stopgobber. | 我要一片”还我漂漂丸” |
| [07:51] | They’re not ready yet. | 目前尚未研究完备 |
| [07:56] | Ooh, a modelizer? | 哇 模特成形器 |
| [07:58] | What does this turn you into? | 这个会把人变成什么 |
| [08:00] | A teenage model, a human coat hanger, | 少女模特 人形衣架 |
| [08:03] | the kind that makes fellows say, | 会让男人们说 |
| [08:05] | “I’d love to bang her.” | “我想上她” |
| [08:06] | – I’m there. – There are drawbacks. | -我要去 -这些是次品 |
| [08:08] | I’m…There. | 我要去 |
| [08:10] | The process destroys brain cells. | 成形过程会损坏脑细胞 |
| [08:12] | Oh, they say the same thing about wine. | 大家说红酒也会损坏脑细胞 |
| [08:19] | I’m stuck in here. | 我被困在里面了 |
| [08:21] | You need to push. | 你要用力推 |
| [08:22] | Which way is that again? | 往哪边推 |
| [08:28] | Oh, my god. You’re so young. | 我的天 你好年轻 |
| [08:30] | And thin. You can eat anything. | 也好苗条 你什么都可以吃了 |
| [08:33] | Yeah, but I can’t remember what. | 是啊 但我不记得吃什么了 |
| [08:35] | Do I eat meat or am I a “vetenernarinan”? | 我吃肉吗 还是”者食素” |
| [08:38] | Oh, brother. | 受不了 |
| [08:39] | ♪Models are a vapid, boring breed♪ | ♪模特是无趣乏味的族群♪ |
| [08:42] | ♪you’re better off just going to seed♪ | ♪穿着随意更舒适♪ |
| [08:46] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [08:47] | Joy’s a balloon, and Melanie’s an idiot. | 乔依成了气球 梅兰妮成了白痴 |
| [08:50] | Where are my chill pills? | 我的镇静药呢 |
| [08:54] | Oh, I feel better and younger. | 我觉得好些了 年轻些了 |
| [08:56] | I feel 40. | 我觉得我40岁 |
| [08:57] | I don’t want to be 40. | 我不想要40岁 |
| [09:00] | Stop. Don’t. | 停下 别这样 |
| [09:04] | Look at her now. | 快看她啊 |
| [09:06] | Look, all my hand toes can point. | 瞧啊 我所有的手脚趾都可以指方向 |
| [09:10] | Oh, my god. Look at me. | 我的天 看我 |
| [09:11] | I’m bald and fat. | 我又秃又肥 |
| [09:13] | ♪Three failed stabs at turning back your clocks♪ | ♪想恢复青春 三人全失败♪ |
| [09:17] | ♪proves you dumb as a trio of rocks♪ | ♪证明你们就是三个笨呆瓜♪ |
| [09:21] | Steven Tyler, take us back. | 斯蒂夫·泰勒 带我们回去 |
| [09:23] | This wish didn’t work! | 这次愿望没有实现 |
| [09:28] | What happened? | 出什么事了 |
| [09:28] | You look as old as when you left. | 你们和离开时一样老 |
| [09:30] | Let’s just say we had some problems, and leave it at that. | 我们碰到了一些问题 别多话了 |
| [09:32] | You know, we don’t have to improve ourselves to be attractive to men. | 我们不必让自己变得更美来吸引男人 |
| [09:35] | We should wish they’re attracted to us just the way we are. | 我们应该希望他们被我们真实的样子所吸引 |
| [09:37] | Did you get that, Steven Tyler? | 你听明白了吗 斯蒂夫·泰勒 |
| [09:39] | We want men to be crazy about us. | 我们要男人为我们疯狂 |
| [09:41] | Hordes of men hungry for us. | 成群结队的男人对我们饥肠辘辘 |
| [09:43] | Drooling over us. | 对着我们流口水 |
| [09:45] | So you all agree that’s the second wish? | 你们都同意 这是第二个愿望吗 |
| [09:48] | You want men to be hungry for you. | 你们要男人对你们饥肠辘辘 |
| [09:50] | Coming right up. | 马上就来 |
| [09:56] | What are we doing here? | 我们来这里做什么 |
| [09:58] | And where are all the men, | 那些对我们饥肠辘辘 |
| [09:59] | hungry and drooling for us? | 为我们流口水的男人在哪里 |
| [10:04] | I’m returning your corkscrew. | 我是来还开酒器的 |
| [10:07] | And by the way, there’s a zombie apocalypse going on. | 顺便说下 僵尸末日来临了 |
| [10:10] | Well, they are hungry for us. | 他们的确对我们饥肠辘辘 |
| [10:12] | If there’s one thing I hate, it’s zombies and what Joy’s wearing. | 我这人最讨厌的 就是僵尸和乔依的穿着 |
| [10:16] | Really? Now? | 现在还有心情吐槽吗 |
| [10:17] | I think we should reason with them. | 我觉得我们应该跟他们讲道理 |
| [10:19] | They may be undead, but they’re still people. | 他们或许是活死人 但好歹也是人啊 |
| [10:23] | Do any of you zombies want to talk | 你们这些僵尸想不想谈谈 |
| [10:25] | about healthier eating options than human flesh? | 比人肉更健康的饮食之道 |
| [10:29] | Ooh, my. | 天啊 |
| [10:31] | Those zombies made some excellent points. | 那些僵尸用实际行动表明了观点 |
| [10:34] | Also, I’m a zombie now. | 并且 我现在也是僵尸了 |
| [10:46] | Who would have thought you could kill zombies with tae bo? | 谁能想到用”跆搏”竟然可以打死僵尸呢 |
| [10:49] | I did. | 我想到了 |
| [10:50] | Do you know what the sad part is? | 你知道悲哀的是什么吗 |
| [10:52] | No, Victoria, please tell us | 不知道呢 维多利亚 求你告诉我们 |
| [10:54] | what the sad part about being attacked by zombies is. | 被僵尸攻击 悲哀的是什么 |
| [10:56] | Yeah, I’d like to know too. | 是啊 我也想知道 |
| [10:59] | – Mamie Sue! – Sorry. | -梅米·苏 -对不起 |
| [11:02] | The sad part is | 悲哀的就是 |
| [11:03] | we have all these men that wanted us really badly, | 那些男人们都迫不及待想得到我们 |
| [11:05] | and they’re all gone. | 现在却全都没了 |
| [11:07] | That’s true. | 那倒是 |
| [11:08] | If only there was some way to take these body parts | 除非能用这些人的身体部位 |
| [11:10] | and create the perfect man. | 创造出一个完美的男人 |
| [11:12] | There are enough body parts here | 这里的身体各部位 |
| [11:13] | to make four perfect men. | 足够做出4个完美的男人了 |
| [11:15] | But how would we do that? | 我们要怎么做到呢 |
| [11:16] | You could always go to Elka’s secret lab. | 你们可以去爱尔卡的秘密实验室啊 |
| [11:20] | Did I never mention the secret lab I have under the house? | 我有提过我那位于地下室的秘密实验室吗 |
| [11:26] | How long have you had this underground lab? | 你这个地下实验室存在有多久了 |
| [11:28] | Oh, forever. | 一直存在 |
| [11:29] | My license with the city says | 我从市政府申请的许可证上显示 |
| [11:31] | it’s a build-a-bear workshop. | 这是个小熊玩偶商店 |
| [11:32] | In fact, before we re-animate our men, | 实际上 在我们让男人们复活之前 |
| [11:34] | you have to choose one of these outfits. | 你们必须替他们选一下衣服 |
| [11:37] | $300 for a denim cap? | 一个工装帽就要300块吗 |
| [11:39] | That’s where they get you. | 坑的就是你 |
| [11:40] | Is everyone ready? | 大家都准备好了吗 |
| [11:42] | Mine will be the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen. | 我的男人将是你们见过的最美的生物 |
| [11:46] | I didn’t go for looks. | 我没有太偏重长相 |
| [11:47] | I went for personality. | 我偏重的是性格 |
| [11:48] | My perfect man is nice, smart, | 我的完美男人将会很善良 聪明 |
| [11:50] | and, above all, honest. | 最重要的是 诚实 |
| [11:53] | Robert Redford. | 罗伯特·雷德福[名演员兼导演] |
| [11:55] | David Beckham. | 大卫·贝克汉姆 |
| [11:57] | George Clooney. | 乔治·克鲁尼 |
| [11:59] | – Ja? – Not you. | -什么 -不是说你啦 |
| [12:01] | Okay, but admit it’s confusing. | 好吧 但你必须承认这很让人困惑 |
| [12:03] | Abraham Lincoln. | 亚伯拉罕·林肯 |
| [12:06] | What? | 怎么啦 |
| [12:07] | You know what they say about men with big hats? | 你们都知道戴大帽子的男人会怎样吧 |
| [12:09] | That’s shoes. | 是鞋大鸟大才对 |
| [12:10] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [12:13] | You ladies ready? | 你们准备好了吗 |
| [12:19] | Hello. | 你好啊 |
| [12:21] | Well, hello. | 你好啊 |
| [12:23] | Hello, gorgeous. | 你好啊 美人 |
| [12:24] | I propose we form a perfect union–naked. | 我建议我们成立一个完美的联盟吧 裸体上阵 |
| [12:28] | Our men are falling in love with each other. | 我们的男人们互相爱上对方了 |
| [12:30] | We found the perfect gay men? | 我们创造的是完美基佬吗 |
| [12:33] | We could have done that in L.A. | 我们在洛杉矶就可以实现这点啊 |
| [12:34] | Whoops, we programmed the men to fall in love | 哎呀 我们设定的程序是这些男人们 |
| [12:36] | with the first person they see. | 会爱上他们第一眼见到的人 |
| [12:38] | De-animate them! De-animate them! | 快弄死他们 快弄死他们 |
| [12:51] | My god. | 天啊 |
| [12:52] | You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. | 你是我见过的最美的女人 |
| [12:56] | You got that right, sundance. | 你说的太对了 大帅哥 |
| [12:58] | This is fantastic. | 这真是太棒了 |
| [13:00] | It certainly is. | 是啊 |
| [13:01] | What could possibly go wrong? | 还能出什么差错呢 |
| [13:04] | Nothing has gone wrong. | 竟然没出任何差错 |
| [13:06] | Well, kind of a mixed bag. | 真是人尸混杂 |
| [13:09] | Nothing has ruined our happiness. | 没什么能毁了我们的幸福 |
| [13:12] | Nothing could ruin our happiness. | 到目前为止我们的幸福都没被毁 |
| [13:17] | I need coffee. | 我得喝点咖啡 |
| [13:18] | Robert Redford snores louder than I did | 罗伯特·雷德福的呼噜声比我 |
| [13:20] | during The Great Waldo Pepper. | 看他演的《鹫与鹰》时打的鼾声还大 |
| [13:22] | Sure, you can bend it like Beckham, | 是啊 你有着贝克汉姆招牌式的弯腰动作 |
| [13:24] | but would it kill you to bend over | 但你偶尔弯下腰 |
| [13:25] | and pick up a wet towel once in a while? | 把湿毛巾捡起来会死吗 |
| [13:28] | You think you have it bad. | 你以为你的遭遇够惨了吗 |
| [13:29] | George Clooney’s so hot to save the planet | 乔治·克鲁尼一腔热血地醉心于环保 |
| [13:32] | he put fluorescent bulbs over my bathroom mirror. | 竟然在我的浴室镜子上装上了节能灯 |
| [13:40] | Well, now that we’re getting everything out, | 既然我们现在都实话实说了 |
| [13:41] | honest Abe could cut back on the honesty a little. | 诚实的亚伯有时候也不该那么有话直说 |
| [13:44] | Do you like this dress on me? | 你觉得我穿这件裙子漂亮吗 |
| [13:45] | Eh, it’s not exactly giving me a lincoln log. | 反正没让我”鸡硬如铁” |
| [13:49] | So we didn’t create perfect men after all. | 看来我们终究还是没创造出完美的男人 |
| [13:51] | It turns out even sexy, athletic, | 事实证明即使是性感的 热爱运动的 |
| [13:53] | talented, political icons are still just men. | 才华横溢的 政治偶像也不过是普通男人 |
| [13:56] | Maybe we’re not being fair. | 或许我们这么说不公平 |
| [13:57] | We couldn’t make ourselves into perfect women either. | 我们也无法把自己打造成完美的女人 |
| [13:59] | So maybe we should cut them some slack. | 所以或许我们该对他们的要求低一点 |
| [14:03] | It’s coming from the garage. | 是从车库传来的声音 |
| [14:06] | ♪And I’m happy just to be alive♪ | ♪能活着让我好开心♪ |
| [14:11] | Oh, dear god. | 上帝啊 |
| [14:12] | They’ve started a middle-aged man garage band. | 他们成立了一个中年车库乐队 |
| [14:15] | Oh, yeah. They gotta go. | 是啊 他们得走人了 |
| [14:17] | Now. | 立刻滚 |
| [14:17] | But how do we get rid of them? | 但我们要怎么除掉他们 |
| [14:20] | I could eat. | 我可以吃掉他们 |
| [14:25] | 摇滚名人堂 没错 就是在克利夫兰 不服来战 | |
| [14:28] | You ladies are probably starting to figure out | 各位美女或许现在已经明白了 |
| [14:30] | that these wishes have catches to them, | 这些愿望都是有附加条件的 |
| [14:32] | so I’m sure you’ll be careful | 所以我敢肯定你们在许 |
| [14:33] | when you make your next wishes. | 下个愿望时一定会格外小心的 |
| [14:35] | I wish Lebron never left Cleveland. | 我希望勒布朗从没离开过克利夫兰 |
| [14:37] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [14:44] | Welcome to Cleveland, | 欢迎来到克利夫兰 |
| [14:45] | city of champions. | 冠军之城 |
| [14:47] | That means they won the title. | 那意味着他们赢得了冠军 |
| [14:50] | Mamie Sue, you look fantastic. | 梅米·苏 你看上去好美啊 |
| [14:52] | And so does Cleveland. | 克利夫兰也是 |
| [14:54] | A little confidence changes everything. | 一点信心就足以改变一切了 |
| [14:56] | They say that in women’s magazines all the time, | 女性杂志中经常这么说 |
| [14:59] | but for once it’s really true. | 但这次终于成真了 |
| [15:00] | We should go to our bar | 我们该去一趟酒吧 |
| [15:01] | and toast our amazing new city. | 为超赞的新城市干杯 |
| [15:06] | Excuse me, we’re regulars here, so– | 不好意思 我们是这里的常客 所以 |
| [15:08] | I don’t think so, ladies. | 我看不行 女士们 |
| [15:10] | You’re not quite right for this establishment. | 你们不太满足进入这里的条件 |
| [15:13] | Oh, my god. | 我的天啊 |
| [15:16] | He just said we’re not hot… | 他刚刚说我们不性感火辣 |
| [15:18] | In Cleveland. | 在克利夫兰都排不上号了吗 |
| [15:19] | Cleveland is overflowing | 克利夫兰现在涌入了 |
| [15:21] | with powerful, attractive people now. | 大量有权有势 长得又漂亮的人 |
| [15:22] | Even the Browns and indians have won championships. | 布朗队和印第安人队都赢得冠军了 |
| [15:25] | But the best part of being a Cleveland fan | 但是作为克利夫兰的球迷 |
| [15:27] | is the complaining about the teams. | 最棒的一点就是可以吐槽这些球队啊 |
| [15:29] | Your wish ruined Cleveland. | 你的愿望毁掉了克利夫兰 |
| [15:31] | We gotta go talk to Lebron. | 我们必须去找勒布朗谈谈 |
| [15:43] | Who dares approach the great and powerful Lebron? | 是谁胆敢接近伟大的勒布朗 |
| [15:46] | Hey, what’s up, dog? | 你好吗 小狗狗 |
| [15:49] | King James, you need to fix Cleveland. | 小皇帝詹姆斯 你得拯救克利夫兰 |
| [15:52] | What are you talking about? | 你在胡说些什么呢 |
| [15:54] | I fixed it. We’re cool. | 我已经拯救过了 我们现在很好啊 |
| [15:56] | We win championships. | 我们拿下了冠军 |
| [15:57] | We even have our own batman. | 我们甚至还有专属于我们的蝙蝠侠 |
| [15:59] | Don’t tell them it’s you. | 别告诉他们那就是你 |
| [16:01] | Way ahead of you. | 早在你之前就想到了 |
| [16:02] | Anyway, Cleveland has pretentious food trucks | 总之 克利夫兰现在拥有超赞的食品车 |
| [16:05] | and spin classes and hipsters and vegans. | 单车健身场 时尚先锋和素食主义者 |
| [16:08] | You know what that sounds like. | 你知道那听上去像是什么吗 |
| [16:09] | Success? | 成功吗 |
| [16:10] | No, Los Angeles. | 不 是洛杉矶 |
| [16:12] | We came here from Los Angeles | 我们就是从洛杉矶来的 |
| [16:14] | and discovered a special place, | 然后发现了一个十分独特的地方 |
| [16:16] | totally different from what we left behind. | 跟我们抛下的那个地方完全不同 |
| [16:19] | And now it’s all gone. | 现在这一切都消失了 |
| [16:20] | I miss the fanny packs, the chili fries, | 我怀念以前的老土腰包 辣薯条 |
| [16:23] | the jean shorts, and Marshall Tucker band tank tops. | 短牛仔裤 以及马歇尔·塔克乐队背心 |
| [16:26] | I loved complaining that you couldn’t find anything in a size 0 here. | 我就爱抱怨在这里找不到一件0码的衣服 |
| [16:31] | I loved being objectified, whistled at, | 我喜欢被物化 被吹口哨 |
| [16:33] | and yes, once, in a dunkin’ donuts, goosed. | 有次在唐恩都乐甜甜圈店 还被抓了屁股 |
| [16:35] | And after all, isn’t feeling good about yourself | 老实说 自我感觉好其实不就是 |
| [16:38] | really just feeling better than others? | 感觉胜过别人一筹吗 |
| [16:40] | Oh, do something, Lebron. | 快做点什么吧 勒布朗 |
| [16:42] | Forgive me. Your words have moved me. | 原谅我 你们的话打动了我 |
| [16:44] | People say a lot of things about me, | 人们对我有很多议论 |
| [16:46] | but I never want them to say batman– | 但我可不希望他们说蝙蝠侠… |
| [16:49] | I mean, Lebron– | 我是说 勒布朗 |
| [16:51] | Robbed a lady of her hotness. | 剥夺了一位女士的性感 |
| [16:53] | I don’t know why I just said “batman,” | 我也不知道我刚刚怎么会说蝙蝠侠 |
| [16:54] | Because I’m obviously not him. | 因为我显然不是他 |
| [16:57] | Batman. | 蝙蝠侠 |
| [16:58] | But what will you do? | 但你打算怎么做呢 |
| [16:59] | I’ll move on. | 我打算开始新的征程 |
| [17:00] | I’ve recently had an offer from the okinawa lady pantsers. | 我最近收到淑女裤的广告邀约 |
| [17:08] | – Hey, aren’t you– – No, I don’t think so. | -嘿 你不就是那个… -不 根本不是 |
| [17:10] | I know this city. | 我很了解这座城市 |
| [17:11] | Cleveland won’t mind if I leave. | 克利夫兰不会介意我离开的 |
| [17:13] | Maybe they won’t even notice. | 或许他们根本不会注意到 |
| [17:15] | This is perfect. | 这真是太好了 |
| [17:16] | I already feel like the city is ours again, | 我已经感觉这城市又属于我们了 |
| [17:18] | and things will be back to normal. | 一切很快就会回归正常了 |
| [17:20] | Good-bye, Cleveland. | 再见了 克利夫兰 |
| [17:28] | It’s okay. | 没关系的 |
| [17:29] | Nobody knows we’re responsible. | 没人知道我们是幕后黑手 |
| [17:33] | There they are! Get ’em! | 她们在那儿 快抓住她们 |
| [17:36] | Steven Tyler, take us back. | 斯蒂夫·泰勒 快带我们回去 |
| [17:39] | We want everything back the way it was. | 我们希望一切都回归到原本的样子 |
| [17:41] | We’ve learned our lesson. | 我们已经学到教训了 |
| [17:42] | Instead of chasing after what we don’t have, | 我们不该去追求那些我们没有的东西 |
| [17:44] | we should appreciate what we’ve got. | 而是珍惜我们现在已经拥有的东西 |
| [17:46] | Isn’t that right, Steven Tyler? | 对吗 斯蒂夫·泰勒 |
| [17:48] | No. | 不对 |
| [17:49] | That’s not the lesson. | 你们该学到的教训才不是这个 |
| [17:50] | Well, then what is the lesson? | 那该是什么教训 |
| [17:52] | Listen close and write this down. | 听好了 给我记下来 |
| [17:59] | I was with you until “diggy-diggy-dah.” | 在你唱”滴咯滴咯当”之前 我都能跟上 |
| [18:01] | As hot as you all are, | 尽管你们都很火辣 |
| [18:04] | you’d be the least hot women I ever slept with, | 你们却依然是我睡过的最不性感的女人 |
| [18:07] | except you, Elka. | 除了你 爱尔卡 |
| [18:08] | That’s the lesson? | 竟然是这个教训吗 |
| [18:09] | That’s what I got out of it. | 反正我学到的教训是这个 |
| [18:11] | See you. | 再见了 |
| [18:15] | How do we get back? | 我们要怎么回去啊 |
| [18:16] | Well, according to string theory– | 根据弦理论 |
| [18:17] | Just do it. | 直接动手吧 |
| [18:20] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [18:21] | I can’t believe that just happened. | 我真不敢相信刚刚竟然经历了那些事 |
| [18:22] | Now that it has, | 既然都发生了 |
| [18:23] | how can anything ever be the same? | 一切又怎么可能再如往常 |
| [18:25] | We can’t un-know what we know. | 我们不能抹除已经知道的事啊 |
| [18:27] | My advice is to forget it ever happened | 我的建议就是 就当这一切没发生过 |
| [18:30] | or it’ll make you crazy. | 否则真会把你们逼疯的 |
| [18:32] | That’s my advice to you too. | 对于电视机前的你们也是同样的建议 |
| [18:35] | Hey, Elka. | 嘿 爱尔卡 |
| [18:36] | Der schnitzel’s getting cold. | 薯条快凉了 |
| [18:37] | I mean, “woof.” | 我是说 汪汪 |
| [18:42] | Must’ve left the door open. | 我肯定是门没关好 |
| [18:47] | Welcome to my world, | 欢迎来到我的世界 |
| [18:49] | a world of pure rejuvenation, | 纯洁的永葆青春之地 |
| [18:51] | ♪and should you find occasion for microdermabrasion…♪ | ♪你会找到机会 来个微晶换肤术♪ |
| [18:56] | ♪there’s sodium chloride crystals on the breeze♪ | ♪微风中飘荡着氯化纳晶体♪ |
| [19:02] | ♪Is this real?♪ | ♪这是真的吗♪ |
| [19:04] | ♪a skin peel just by dunking♪ | ♪换肤治疗 只要把我的头♪ |
| [19:06] | ♪my head in this fountain♪ | ♪栽进这个喷泉就成♪ |
| [19:08] | ♪not just that, lose your fat♪ | ♪不仅如此 要想去脂♪ |
| [19:12] | ♪at the top of lipo mountain♪ | ♪只需站在抽脂山上♪ |
| [19:16] | ♪the birdies in the skies♪ | ♪天空中的小鸟♪ |
| [19:18] | ♪have lasers in their eyes to zap unwanted facial hairs away♪ | ♪眼中能射出激光 脱除面部多余的毛发♪ |
| [19:25] | so in beauty land we’ll stay | 美丽之乡 我们会常留此地 |