| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:10] | There’s no reason we can’t be nice to each other | 没理由我们连相亲相爱一个晚上 |
| [00:13] | for one night, Mr. Mayor. | 都做不到吧 市长先生 |
| [00:15] | No reason at all, councilwoman. | 毫无理由 议员女士 |
| [00:18] | So. I slept with the mayor. | 于是 我就跟市长上床了 |
| [00:21] | Joy, Joy. Joy, Joy. | 乔依 这是乔依 乔依 这是乔依 |
| [00:23] | – Joy. – Joy. | -乔依你好 -乔依你好 |
| [00:26] | I know you want him, but he’s mine. | 我知道你想得到他 但他是我的 |
| [00:28] | You make one move on him and I’ll chop you up | 你敢对他动半点心思 我就剁了你 |
| [00:30] | and feed you to my sled dogs. | 然后拿去喂我的雪橇犬 |
| [00:34] | – To Joy and Bob. – To Joy and Bob. | -敬乔依和鲍勃 -敬乔依和鲍勃 |
| [00:38] | Without them, instead of toasting, | 如果不是打着给他们祝酒的名目 |
| [00:39] | we’d just be drinking at 2:00 in the afternoon. | 我们就是下午两点无缘无故喝大酒了 |
| [00:43] | It was just so romantic. | 想想实在太浪漫了 |
| [00:45] | Right now, Joy is telling Bob that she loves him. | 此时此刻 乔依正在跟鲍勃倾诉爱意 |
| [00:49] | You know, I know he has a great personality, | 我知道他这个人个性超好 |
| [00:50] | but I cannot imagine | 但我实在无法想象 |
| [00:52] | what kind of woman would ever want to sleep with Bob. | 什么样的女人 会想和鲍勃上床 |
| [01:02] | You do remember that I slept with Bob. | 你应该记得我和鲍勃上过床吧 |
| [01:06] | Oh, that’s right. Well, good for you. | 没错 真有你的 |
| [01:10] | He’s super sexy. | 他性感无敌 |
| [01:14] | Oh, my God. What is that sound? | 老天 这是什么声音 |
| [01:20] | Oh, my God, it’s a drone. | 天啊 是架遥控飞机 |
| [01:21] | Why would we have a drone? | 我们怎么会有架遥控飞机 |
| [01:22] | No, not we, Melanie… me. | 不是我们 梅兰妮 是我 |
| [01:24] | There’s a camera attached. | 飞机里面装了摄像头 |
| [01:25] | That’s because it’s a paparazzi drone. | 因为这是狗仔队专用的遥控拍摄机 |
| [01:27] | All the biggest stars have drones hounding them. | 所有的超级巨星都会被遥控拍摄机围追堵截 |
| [01:29] | And of course, they hate them. And I hate mine! | 当然了 巨星们都恨拍摄机 我也恨它 |
| [01:33] | Actually, I love mine. | 事实上我爱死它了 |
| [01:35] | Oh, no. Where’s it going? | 别走啊 它去哪儿了 |
| [01:38] | Did I come on too strong? | 我刚表现得太强势了吗 |
| [01:40] | ‘Cause they think I’m not pretty? | 还是他们觉得我不够迷人 |
| [01:42] | Maybe he took my picture and it’s already on TMZ. | 也许我的照片已经被放上美国名人八卦网了 |
| [01:46] | Let’s go check. | 我们赶紧去看看 |
| [01:49] | Oh, hey, Elka. What’s up? | 爱尔卡 出什么事了 |
| [01:51] | I’m breaking up with the mayor. | 我要和市长分手 |
| [01:53] | Aw, why? | 为什么 |
| [01:54] | Every time we make love, he asks me if I’m satisfied. | 每次我们做爱的时候 他都问我是否满足 |
| [02:02] | It’s hard to respect that. | 我真受不了他这样 |
| [02:06] | So then, you’ve started the dance? | 这么说 你已经启动策略了吗 |
| [02:09] | What’s the dance? | 什么策略 |
| [02:10] | Oh, Elka’s five-step process to a successful breakup. | 是爱尔卡的五步成功分手大法 |
| [02:13] | Breakup, make-up sex, steak dinner, goodbye sex, | 分手 和好炮 牛排晚餐 分手炮 |
| [02:17] | and break up for real. | 然后是真正分手 |
| [02:19] | So what step are you on? | 话说你现在是到哪一步了 |
| [02:26] | Well, there’s not a single photo of me on TMZ, | 无论是美国名人八卦网 雷达在线 |
| [02:29] | Radar Online, or Popsugar. | 或是”狗仔密照网”上都没有我的照片 |
| [02:31] | There are hundreds of drone shots of other celebrities. | 倒是有无数张遥控拍摄机拍的其他名人的照片 |
| [02:34] | – Rihanna… – Oh, wait, who is she with? | -蕾哈娜 -等下 她这是和谁一起呢 |
| [02:37] | Her bodyguard. | 她的保镖 |
| [02:38] | Oh, and there’s Victóeia Beckham with her bodyguard, | 还有维多利亚·贝克汉姆以及她的保镖 |
| [02:41] | and Bruce Jenner with her bodyguard. | 布鲁斯·詹纳和她的保镖 |
| [02:47] | Oh, my God! That’s what I need… a bodyguard. | 老天 那正是我所需要的 一个保镖 |
| [02:50] | Bob’s brother, Claude, he works as a bodyguard. | 鲍勃的哥哥克劳德 他就是个保镖 |
| [02:53] | I’ll text him. | 我给他发个短信 |
| [02:56] | Hey, Joy! How did it go? | 乔依 你的告白怎么样 |
| [02:58] | Horrible. | 糟透了 |
| [02:59] | Well, did you tell Bob you loved him? | 你告诉鲍勃你爱他了吗 |
| [03:01] | I couldn’t. | 我没法说 |
| [03:02] | When I got there, he was with another woman. | 我到那儿时 他正和另外一个女人在一起 |
| [03:04] | He’s already moved on. I blew it. | 他已经开始新感情了 我搞砸了 |
| [03:07] | Who is she? | 那个女人是谁 |
| [03:08] | His old girlfriend from Canada, | 他在加拿大的前女友 |
| [03:10] | who’s a mean, scheming, gold digger. | 一个自私刻薄 诡计多端的傍大款的贱婊 |
| [03:12] | Bob has gold? | 鲍勃是大款吗 |
| [03:16] | He’s loaded. | 他很有钱 |
| [03:17] | According to her, | 按她的话说 |
| [03:18] | his family are like the Kennedys of Saskatoon. | 他的家族和萨斯卡通的肯尼迪家族有的一拼 |
| [03:21] | Remember how we grew up dreaming about marrying John John? | 还记得我们从小就梦想着嫁给肯尼迪总统吗 |
| [03:25] | They grew up dreaming about marrying Bob Bob. | 人家可都梦想长大后嫁给鲍勃阔少 |
| [03:30] | She also said he’s amazing in bed. | 她还说鲍勃床上功夫一流 |
| [03:32] | Melanie, is that true? | 梅兰妮 这是真的吗 |
| [03:35] | – Do you really want the answer? – Yes. | -你真的想知道答案吗 -是的 |
| [03:38] | He was fantastic. | 他的确是床上永动机 |
| [03:39] | I don’t need to hear that, Melanie! | 我不想听这种话 梅兰妮 |
| [03:42] | What are you gonna do? | 你打算怎么办 |
| [03:43] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [03:44] | I wanted to warn Bob about how awful she is, | 我想提醒鲍勃她有多烂 |
| [03:47] | but I knew he wouldn’t believe me. | 但我知道他不会相信我的 |
| [03:49] | She’s always sweet when he’s around, | 因为她在鲍勃身边总是一副甜美的样子 |
| [03:51] | the devious bitch. | 那个心机婊 |
| [03:53] | Oh, but sweetie, you’re a devious bitch too. | 但是亲爱的 你也是个心机婊啊 |
| [03:55] | Surely you can out-maneuver her. | 你绝对能完胜她 |
| [03:58] | Yeah, don’t take it lying down. | 没错 别没斗就躺着认输了啊 |
| [04:01] | For once. | 就这次不能”躺” |
| [04:06] | You’re right. | 大家说得对 |
| [04:07] | I’m gonna go behind her back and tell Bob how I feel. | 我要背着她 去告诉鲍勃我的感受 |
| [04:11] | I’m gonna fight for the man I love. | 我要为自己心爱的男人而战 |
| [04:16] | It’s time for some goodbye sex with the mayor. | 也到了和市长打分手炮的时候了 |
| [04:23] | I don’t understand why you didn’t just end it after the steak dinner. | 我就不明白你为什么不在牛排晚餐后直接分手 |
| [04:27] | The man sprung for a $40 filet. | 他刚为我的菲力牛排花了40美元呢 |
| [04:33] | So you have to sleep with someone | 因为一块40美元的肉 |
| [04:34] | because they bought you a $40 piece of meat? | 你就得和对方上床是吗 |
| [04:36] | I’m a lady. | 我是有恩”屄”报的淑女 |
| [04:44] | Claude’s says he’d love to be your bodyguard. | 克劳德说他很愿意当你的保镖 |
| [04:46] | He’ll be right here. | 他一会儿过来 |
| [04:49] | Claude says he’s on the porch. | 克劳德说他就在门外走廊上 |
| [04:51] | Oh, Claude says he’s about to ring the doorbell. | 克劳德说他就要按门铃了 |
| [04:56] | Claude says he can’t find the doorbell. | 克劳德说他找不着门铃 |
| [05:06] | I remember Claude. He’s an idiot. | 我对克劳德有印象 他就是个白痴 |
| [05:09] | Claude… he’ll be a fine bodyguard, he’s big. | 克劳德会是个好保镖的 他是个大块头 |
| [05:11] | Big guys are always scary and intimidating. | 大块头总能让人望而生畏 |
| [05:18] | I’m here to protect you, Victoria. | 我是来保护你的 维多利亚 |
| [05:33] | Claude, what’s the matter? | 克劳德 你这是怎么了 |
| [05:35] | I lost the woman I love. | 我失去了我爱的那个女人 |
| [05:37] | I am an empty shell of a man. | 我现在只是一具行尸走肉 |
| [05:41] | Perfect. That’s all I need. | 太好了 这正是我所要的 |
| [05:44] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [05:46] | What exactly am I protecting you from? | 你具体需要哪些方面的保护 |
| [05:49] | I just need you to look tough and menacing. | 我只要你看起来够狠够吓人就行了 |
| [05:51] | – So it seems like I’m being threatened. – Right. | -假设我身陷威胁之中了 -了解 |
| [05:54] | So you can pretend to shield me from the TMZ drone | 然后你假装帮我抵挡美国名人八卦网的拍摄机 |
| [05:56] | – so it’ll take pictures of me– – Right. | -它会趁机拍我的照片 -明白 |
| [05:58] | And get me into the tabloids so it can keep me in the public eye. | 然后把我登上各种八卦小报 博得公众眼球 |
| [06:02] | Is it okay if I don’t understand? | 如果我说我没听明白可以吗 |
| [06:08] | Bob. I’m so glad you’re here. | 鲍勃 你在这简直太好了 |
| [06:12] | – Are you okay? – Yeah, I–I think so. | -你还好吧 -我觉得还行吧 |
| [06:16] | – What happened? – Joy is pregnant. | -出什么事了 -乔依怀孕了 |
| [06:20] | I just found out I’m gonna be a dad. | 我刚知道我要当爹了 |
| [06:25] | – Joy is pregnant? – Canadian Joy. | -乔依怀孕了 -是加拿大乔依 |
| [06:28] | I know that. | 我知道 |
| [06:32] | But you were just in Canada last week. | 但是你上周刚回加拿大 |
| [06:34] | Uh, actually, it happened a couple of months ago. | 事实上 是几个月前的事 |
| [06:38] | Remember that time I was hitting on you in a really annoying way? | 还记得那次我用特招人烦的方式勾搭你吗 |
| [06:41] | Which time? | 哪一次 |
| [06:43] | The time you told me that it was never gonna happen between us | 就是那次你说我们之间绝无可能 |
| [06:45] | and I should just go get laid. | 让我还是勾搭别人去吧 |
| [06:47] | Again, which time? | 再问一遍 是哪次 |
| [06:49] | Well, I took your advice. | 我接受了你的建议 |
| [06:51] | And I tried to find a sex partner in the States, | 我本想在美国这边找个炮友的 |
| [06:53] | but that was a no-go. | 但是根本约不到 |
| [06:55] | So I headed north to my fall-back girl | 于是我一路向北去找我的备胎了 |
| [06:59] | and…back she fell. | 然后就把她推倒了 |
| [07:03] | I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful father. | 我相信你一定会是位出色的父亲 |
| [07:05] | Well, I’m gonna do my duty, Joy. | 我必须尽到我的责任 乔依 |
| [07:07] | I’m gonna get married as soon as possible. | 我会尽快结婚的 |
| [07:10] | This whole thing isn’t what I had pictured for myself. | 但这整件事 跟我原本的构想完全不一样 |
| [07:15] | What did you picture for yourself? | 你原本为自己所做的构想是怎样的 |
| [07:20] | Sweetheart, I made copies of our sonogram. | 亲爱滴 我把宝宝的超声波图复制了好几张 |
| [07:23] | One for my mom, one for your desk, darling, | 一张给我妈 一张放在你的办公桌上 亲爱的 |
| [07:26] | and here’s an extra one for you, Joy. | 这里还多一张 是给你的 乔依 |
| [07:29] | Thank you. Your baby’s beautiful. | 谢谢了 你们的宝宝很漂亮 |
| [07:32] | Of course he is. Just like his dad. | 当然了 就跟他老爸一样 |
| [07:35] | Listen, Joy, I wanted to apologize. | 听着 乔依 我想道个歉 |
| [07:37] | I may have been a little hormonal when we spoke earlier. | 我们之前说话时 我可能因荷尔蒙大爆发有点激动 |
| [07:41] | Hormonal. Of course. | 荷尔蒙大爆发 当然了 |
| [07:43] | Apology accepted. | 我接受你的道歉 |
| [07:46] | Well, good luck. To both of you. | 祝你们两个都好运了 |
| [07:49] | To all three of us. Me, Bob Bob, and Bob Bob Bob. | 是我们三个 我 鲍勃勃 和小鲍勃勃 |
| [08:05] | Hey, Elka. | 嘿 爱尔卡 |
| [08:07] | I have some news. | 我有事要说 |
| [08:08] | This is a disaster. | 这真是个大灾难 |
| [08:10] | That sad-sack bodyguard has been with me all day | 那个草包保镖已经跟着我一整天了 |
| [08:12] | and no paparazzi. | 但却一个狗仔队都没有 |
| [08:15] | Ugh, the only drone was his voice in my ear, | 唯一的嗡嗡声就是他的嗓音在我耳朵里回荡的声音 |
| [08:17] | whining about the girl who got away. | 唠叨着那个离他而去的女人 |
| [08:21] | I have some news. | 我有事要说 |
| [08:22] | It’s over. Canadian Joy is pregnant. | 一切正式完了 加拿大乔依怀孕了 |
| [08:25] | What? | 什么 |
| [08:26] | And here’s the sonogram to prove it. | 人家还有超声波扫描图作证明 |
| [08:29] | Wait a minute. | 等一下 |
| [08:30] | This isn’t Bob’s baby, this is Shiloh Pitt. | 这不是鲍勃的孩子 这是希洛·皮特 |
| [08:35] | What? | 什么 |
| [08:37] | How could you possibly know that? | 你怎么可能知道这个呢 |
| [08:39] | Well, because, it’s the most famous sonogram | 因为这是有史以来被贴上网的 |
| [08:41] | ever to be posted on the internet. | 最出名的一张超声波扫描图 |
| [08:43] | I’d recognize Brad and Angelina’s beautiful fetus | 我可以一眼认出皮特和朱莉美丽的胎儿 |
| [08:46] | before I’d recognize my own. | 比我认出自己的胎儿还要快 |
| [08:49] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [08:50] | This means Canadian Joy isn’t really pregnant. | 这意味着加拿大乔依并没有真的怀孕 |
| [08:53] | – I’m calling Bob. – I have some news. | -我要打给鲍勃 -我有事要说 |
| [08:55] | Ugh–voicemail. | 该死 进入语音信箱了 |
| [08:58] | Bob? You can’t marry Canadian Joy. | 鲍勃 你不能娶加拿大乔依 |
| [09:00] | Meet me alone at the office and I’ll explain. | 单独在办公室见我 我会解释清楚的 |
| [09:03] | Sorry, Elka, you wanted to say something? | 不好意思 爱尔卡 你刚刚是想说什么吗 |
| [09:05] | The mayor is dead. | 市长死了 |
| [09:08] | In my bed. | 死在了我床上 |
| [09:11] | The mayor is dead? | 市长死了吗 |
| [09:13] | In my bed! | 死在了我床上 |
| [09:20] | Oh, my God. The mayor is dead? | 天啊 市长竟然死了 |
| [09:22] | What happened? | 发生什么事了啊 |
| [09:24] | You really want details? | 你真的想听细节吗 |
| [09:29] | He was trying to impress me | 他是想在我面前秀一下 |
| [09:31] | with how many push-ups he could do | 他可以做多少个”俯卧撑” |
| [09:34] | on top of me. | 是在我身上”做” |
| [09:40] | All right, so–so, what are we gonna do? | 好吧 那接下来我们该怎么办 |
| [09:42] | Call the police, the hospital, the coroner? | 打电话给警方 医院 还是法医 |
| [09:44] | No calls. | 不能打电话 |
| [09:45] | I don’t want this to ruin his legacy. | 我不希望这事毁了他的名声 |
| [09:47] | Elka’s right. | 爱尔卡说得对 |
| [09:47] | Every time someone famous dies having sex, | 每次有名人在做爱时死掉 |
| [09:50] | that’s the first thing people think about | 当他们的名字被提及时 |
| [09:51] | when their name is mentioned. | 人们第一个想到的就是这个 |
| [09:53] | Then what do we do with the body? | 那我们该如何处理他的尸体啊 |
| [09:55] | Exactly what we did with the governor’s body | 就跟我们处理州长尸体的方式那样 |
| [09:58] | in my Lifetime original movie, | 就是我那部生活台原创电影里的情节 |
| [09:59] | what Do We Do With the Governor’s Body? | 名字就叫《我们该如何处理州长的尸体》 |
| [10:08] | Say we didn’t get around to seeing that particular movie. | 我们好像没看过那部电影 |
| [10:12] | Oh, fine. | 好吧 |
| [10:13] | All right, we sneak the mayor’s body back into his mansion, | 我们偷偷把市长的尸体弄回他的公寓里 |
| [10:17] | put him back in his own bed and then everyone thinks | 放在他自己的床上 然后大家都会认为 |
| [10:20] | he died peacefully in his sleep. | 他是在睡梦中悄然去世的 |
| [10:23] | It’s Bob. | 是鲍勃 |
| [10:24] | He’s heading to the office to meet me. | 他正赶去办公室见我 |
| [10:25] | I’ve got to go. Good luck to us all. | 我得走了 祝我们大家都好运 |
| [10:27] | Oh, you too, honey. | 你也是 亲爱的 |
| [10:30] | Okay so, how do we move the mayor? | 好了 我们要如何搬运市长的尸体啊 |
| [10:33] | I never thought I would say this, | 我从没想到过我会说出这话 |
| [10:35] | but Claude might be helpful. | 但克劳德或许可以帮上忙 |
| [10:37] | No, that’s true. | 不 你说得很对 |
| [10:38] | He just can’t know what he’s moving. | 但不能让他知道他搬运的是什么 |
| [10:40] | We have to hide the body in something. | 我们必须把尸体包裹起来 |
| [10:43] | I know! | 我想到了 |
| [10:44] | We can hide him in a rug | 我们可以把他包裹在地毯里 |
| [10:48] | That’s perfect. | 那真是太完美了 |
| [10:50] | Oh, so that, you watch. | 你们倒是看了那部剧啊 |
| [10:57] | Okay, come on. The coast is clear. | 好了 快出来 前方安全 |
| [11:02] | Why are we sneaking this rug out of your house? | 我们为什么要偷偷摸摸把这个地毯搬出你家啊 |
| [11:06] | It’s a prank we’re playing on Joy. | 这是我们针对乔依玩的一个恶作剧 |
| [11:09] | Hmm, good one. | 真够精彩的 |
| [11:12] | This reminds me of Downton Abbey. | 这让我想到了《唐顿庄园》 |
| [11:14] | You know what was in that rug? A dead body. | 你们知道剧中的地毯里装的是什么吗 一具尸体 |
| [11:19] | People used to do stuff like that. | 过去人们经常这么做呢 |
| [11:22] | Yeah, but that show’s so unbelievable. | 好吧 但那部剧实在太离谱了 |
| [11:30] | There’s my shoe! | 我的鞋在这里啊 |
| [11:34] | Oh, look. My paparazzi drone is back. | 瞧啊 狗仔队无人偷拍机又来了 |
| [11:36] | Inside. Back inside! | 回去 快回屋 |
| [11:40] | Stop invading my privacy. | 别再侵犯我的隐私了 |
| [11:42] | I didn’t put on this gorgeous outfit | 我穿上这么靓丽的衣服 |
| [11:44] | and perfect daytime makeup for you. | 化上这么完美的日妆可不是给你看的 |
| [11:50] | Timmy! | 迪米 |
| [11:51] | Stop bothering our neighbors with that stupid drone. | 别再用那架傻兮兮的飞机打扰邻居们了 |
| [11:55] | Timmy? | 迪米 |
| [11:57] | Timmy. | 迪米 |
| [12:01] | Everyone, I have a devastating announcement to make. | 各位 我有个悲惨的消息要宣布 |
| [12:04] | That stupid drone outside belongs to that creepy neighbor kid | 那架傻兮兮的无人机 是那个怪胎邻居小孩的 |
| [12:08] | who came to our house a few months ago demanding candy. | 就是几个月前到我们家来讨糖的那个 |
| [12:11] | Victoria, it was Halloween. | 维多利亚 那天是万圣节 |
| [12:15] | Hello, Timmy. | 你好啊 迪米 |
| [12:17] | Sorry about the drone. | 抱歉我的无人机打扰到你们了 |
| [12:18] | Well, what are you doing with that thing, anyway? | 你搞那玩意儿干什么啊 |
| [12:20] | And why were you following me? | 你为什么要跟踪我啊 |
| [12:22] | And me–that drone was outside my window | 以及我 那架无人机盘旋在我的窗外 |
| [12:24] | when I got out of my shower– | 当时我刚刚出浴… |
| [12:27] | Oh, my God. How much did you see? | 天啊 你到底看到了多少啊 |
| [12:32] | Both of them. | 都看到了 |
| [12:37] | Go home! | 滚回家去 |
| [12:39] | That kid reminds me of me at that age. | 那孩子让我想起了我当年这么大的时候 |
| [12:43] | And now. | 现在也是的 |
| [12:46] | Claude, why don’t you bring the car around back. | 克劳德 不如你把车开到后门去吧 |
| [12:47] | We’ll carry the rug out that way. | 我们会从那里把地毯搬出去的 |
| [12:49] | Maybe you guys should get this rug cleaned. | 或许你们该好好把这地毯清洗一下 |
| [12:51] | It smells like something died in it. | 闻着一股死尸味儿 |
| [12:57] | So, no paparazzi drone. | 没有狗仔队的无人拍摄机 |
| [13:01] | And the one we did have was spying on Mel, | 那架玩具无人机也是在窥探梅梅 |
| [13:04] | and not on me. | 不是在窥探我 |
| [13:05] | Look, we still have to get rid of the mayor. | 我们还是得把市长给处理掉啊 |
| [13:08] | Speaking of–now that he’s gone, | 说到这个 现在他不在了 |
| [13:10] | who takes his place? | 谁来填补他的位置啊 |
| [13:11] | Well, I did meet a cute guy at the post office. | 我倒是在邮局新遇到了一个小帅哥呢 |
| [13:16] | Oh–you mean who’s mayor now. | 噢 你是说市长之位啊 |
| [13:21] | Yes, who’s next in line? | 是的 下一个该轮到谁呢 |
| [13:25] | President of the city council. | 市议会的主席 |
| [13:28] | That’s me. | 就是我啊 |
| [13:31] | You’re the Mayor of Cleveland? That’s so exciting! | 你现在是克利夫兰的市长了吗 那太令人激动了 |
| [13:34] | But so sad. | 但是好伤心啊 |
| [13:37] | I’m the Mayor of Cleveland. Can you believe it? | 我成了克利夫兰的市长了 你们敢相信吗 |
| [13:42] | And so tragic. | 也很悲惨 |
| [13:47] | Bob? | 鲍勃 |
| [13:49] | Hello, Joy. Surprised to see me? | 你好 乔依 见到我很惊讶吧 |
| [13:54] | Bob, you can’t marry Canadian Joy. | 鲍勃 你不能娶加拿大乔依 |
| [13:56] | Meet me alone at the office and I’ll explain. | 单独到办公室见我 我会解释清楚的 |
| [13:59] | I knew you’d try to contact Bob before the wedding, | 我就知道你会在婚礼前试图联系鲍勃的 |
| [14:01] | so I took his phone. | 所以我就拿了他的手机 |
| [14:02] | Well, I’m going to find Bob and tell him the truth. | 我会找到鲍勃 告诉他真相的 |
| [14:06] | I can’t let you do that. | 我不能让你那么做 |
| [14:08] | Just try and stop me. | 你有本事就阻止我啊 |
| [14:13] | Fine, you’re faster and stronger than I thought, | 好吧 你比我预想得动作要快 力气也更大 |
| [14:16] | but eventually, someone will come and let me out. | 但是最终肯定会有人来放我出去的 |
| [14:18] | Yes, but by that time, Bob and I will be married | 是的 但到那时 鲍勃和我已经结婚了 |
| [14:21] | and on our honeymoon, where I will allow no cell phones. | 出去度蜜月了 我是不会允许他接听电话的 |
| [14:23] | And when we return, I will be pregnant. | 等我们回来时 我肯定已经真的怀孕了 |
| [14:26] | This is crazy–you’re doing all this for the money? | 真是太疯狂了 你就是为了钱才这么做的吗 |
| [14:29] | It’s more than that. | 不只是那样 |
| [14:32] | When I was a little girl, | 我小时候 |
| [14:33] | my mother worked as a maid for Bob’s family. | 我妈妈曾在鲍勃家当女仆 |
| [14:36] | I’d follow her around his big house on the hill | 我喜欢跟着她 在他家山上的大房子里转悠 |
| [14:38] | and dream I belonged there. | 想象着我也属于那里 |
| [14:40] | Bob’s family was always so much fun. | 鲍勃的家人都很有趣 |
| [14:42] | There was always so much laughter. | 总是欢声笑语的 |
| [14:44] | I get that. | 我懂的 |
| [14:45] | See, I’m not so crazy. | 瞧吧 我也并非那么疯狂的 |
| [14:47] | I guess you’re not. | 我想也不是吧 |
| [14:48] | I have to tape your mouth shut now. | 我现在得把你的嘴封起来了 |
| [14:53] | One more thing. | 还有一件事 |
| [14:57] | You didn’t say anything about my dress. | 你刚刚还没评价我的婚纱呢 |
| [14:59] | You’re kidding. | 你在开玩笑吧 |
| [15:00] | Well despite what’s gone down here, this is my wedding day. | 尽管发生了这种事 但这毕竟是我的大婚之日啊 |
| [15:05] | It’s lovely. Vera Wang? | 很美 王薇薇设计款吗 |
| [15:08] | – She’s a genius, right? – She really is. | -她是个天才 对吧 -真的是 |
| [15:10] | When I get married, I want– | 等我结婚时 我想要… |
| [15:18] | Well, thanks for your help. | 谢谢你的帮助 |
| [15:20] | You can go now, the job’s over. | 你可以走了 工作结束了 |
| [15:21] | But I’m so lonely. | 但是我好孤寂啊 |
| [15:26] | The woman I love is getting married right now. | 我爱的那个女人现在正在结婚 |
| [15:29] | I’m sure that you can find someone else. | 我相信你一定可以另外找到一个的 |
| [15:31] | Maybe you just need to lower your standards a little. | 或许你得把标准放低一点点 |
| [15:34] | I hear you, Victoria. | 我听懂你的意思了 维多利亚 |
| [15:38] | Claude, what are you doing? | 克劳德 你在干什么 |
| [15:40] | Lowering my standards. | 放低我的标准啊 |
| [15:42] | I didn’t mean me! | 我不是在说我 |
| [15:44] | I’m sorry, it’s just– when the girl you love | 我很抱歉 只是 当你爱的那个女孩 |
| [15:47] | runs off to elope with your brother– | 和你弟弟去私奔了… |
| [15:49] | Wait a minute, you mean your brother Bob? | 等等 你说的弟弟是指鲍勃吗 |
| [15:51] | The girl you love is Canadian Joy? | 你爱的那个女孩是加拿大乔依吗 |
| [15:55] | Well, in Canada, we just call her Joy. | 在加拿大 我们就叫她乔依而已 |
| [15:59] | It’s like the ginger ale. We just call it dry. | 就像姜汁酒 我们就称之为干酒 |
| [16:04] | No, Bob can’t be getting married now, he’s with Joy. | 不 鲍勃不可能结婚 他现在和乔依在一起呢 |
| [16:08] | Which Joy? My Joy or your Joy? | 哪个乔依 我的乔依还是你的乔依 |
| [16:09] | My Joy. | 我的乔依 |
| [16:10] | Okay, to avoid confusion, | 好吧 为了避免混淆 |
| [16:12] | let’s call my Joy my Joy | 我们就称我的乔依为我的乔依 |
| [16:13] | and your Joy, your Joy. | 称你的乔依为你的乔依 |
| [16:14] | Well I need to find your Joy. | 我需要找到你的乔依 |
| [16:16] | Are you talking about your Joy, my Joy, | 你是在说你的乔依我的乔依 |
| [16:18] | or my Joy, your Joy? | 还是我的乔依你的乔依 |
| [16:19] | I am talking about the Joy you told me to call your Joy | 我在说你叫我称之为”你的乔依”的那个乔依 |
| [16:22] | because your Joy, | 因为你的乔依 |
| [16:23] | you wanted to call my Joy, but– | 你希望我称之为”我的乔依” 但是… |
| [16:24] | I have no idea. | 我已经完全闹不清了 |
| [16:29] | You’re not very bright, are you? | 你脑瓜子不是很聪明 是吧 |
| [16:38] | Joy! | 乔依 |
| [16:39] | Are you alright? | 你没事吧 |
| [16:43] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [16:44] | Oh, but look. It took care of that little moustache. | 瞧啊 把你的小胡子撕掉了呢 |
| [16:49] | Joy! Joy, who did this to you? | 乔依 乔依 谁把你绑在这里的 |
| [16:51] | Canadian Joy. | 加拿大乔依 |
| [16:52] | We have got to stop that wedding. | 我们必须阻止那场婚礼 |
| [16:54] | Do you know where they are? | 你知道他们在哪里举行吗 |
| [16:55] | No. Think, Claude, think. | 不知道 想想 克劳德 好好想想 |
| [16:58] | Isn’t there some other option? | 难道没有别的选择吗 |
| [17:01] | Wait–when we were kids, | 等等 我们小的时候 |
| [17:03] | Bob and I used to lie awake in our twin beds, | 鲍勃和我喜欢醒着躺在我们的双人床上 |
| [17:05] | dreaming about every detail of our nuptials… | 想象着有关我们婚礼的各种细节 |
| [17:09] | As young boys do. | 小男生都喜欢那样啦 |
| [17:12] | Claude, where are they getting married? | 克劳德 他们到底在哪儿举行婚礼 |
| [17:18] | Here’s a clue–Bob’s Instagram. | 这里有条线索 是鲍勃的照片分享账号 |
| [17:20] | Bob and Joy are hiking to the top of Mount Davis. | 鲍勃和乔依要步行去戴维斯山山顶 |
| [17:23] | I’ll never catch up with them. | 我永远也赶不上他们的 |
| [17:24] | How can I possibly get to the top of that mountain | 我怎么可能及时赶到那个山顶 |
| [17:26] | in time to stop the wedding? | 阻止他们的婚礼呢 |
| [17:29] | Ave Maria. | 万福玛利亚 |
| [17:38] | – Beautiful, Bob. – Thank you. | -唱得真美啊 鲍勃 -谢谢 |
| [17:41] | Normally at this point in the ceremony, | 通常在仪式进行到这一阶段 |
| [17:43] | I ask if anyone present objects, | 我会问在场的有没有人反对 |
| [17:45] | but since there’s no one here to object– | 但是鉴于现场并没有人来反对 |
| [17:48] | – I object. – Who said that? | -我反对 -谁说的 |
| [17:50] | I did. | 我说的 |
| [17:53] | Joy. | 乔依 |
| [17:54] | Bob, the sonogram she gave you– | 鲍勃 她给你的那张超声波图 |
| [17:56] | it’s Brad Pitt’s baby. | 是布拉德·皮特的孩子 |
| [17:58] | You slept with Brad Pitt? | 你跟布拉德·皮特上床了吗 |
| [18:01] | Well, she has a type. | 她就是喜欢我们这种类型的 |
| [18:05] | She stole the photo off the internet. | 她是从网上盗的图 |
| [18:07] | She’s not really pregnant. | 她并没有真的怀孕 |
| [18:08] | – Is this true, Joy? – Yes, but let me explain. | -是真的吗 乔依 -是的 但请听我解释 |
| [18:12] | I’ve dreamed of being a part of your family my whole life. | 我这一辈子都梦想着能嫁进你们家 |
| [18:15] | Can you understand how hard it is to want something | 你能理解当你迫切想得到一样东西 |
| [18:18] | for so long, getting so close, but knowing you can’t have it? | 期盼那么久 近在咫尺 但就是无法拥有吗 |
| [18:22] | I understand. | 我能理解 |
| [18:25] | Claude? What are you doing here? | 克劳德 你怎么会在这里 |
| [18:27] | I have loved you forever, Joy. | 我已经暗恋你很久了 乔依 |
| [18:30] | And I don’t care what you did, I’m in love with you now. | 我不管你做过什么事 我现在依然爱着你 |
| [18:33] | Oh, Claude. Yes, I will marry you. | 克劳德 我愿意 我愿意嫁给你 |
| [18:37] | What? I was thinking more like drinks. | 什么 我其实只是想约你出去喝酒而已 |
| [18:41] | Oh, why did I go for the handsome bad boy | 我为什么要选择帅气的坏小子呢 |
| [18:44] | when the bad boy’s even handsomer brother was here all along? | 坏小子更帅的哥哥明明一直在我身边 |
| [18:47] | You never made any sense. | 你说话一直叫人听不懂 |
| [18:50] | Oh, my love. | 我的爱人啊 |
| [18:51] | Bob? | 鲍勃 |
| [18:53] | I have something to say. | 我有话想说 |
| [18:55] | I came to the office this morning to tell you | 我今早去办公室是想告诉你 |
| [18:57] | I’ve fallen in love with you. | 我已经爱上你了 |
| [18:59] | That maybe I’ve been in love with you all along. | 或许我早就爱上你了 |
| [19:02] | You’re the nicest, kindest, sweetest man I’ve ever known. | 你是我认识的最好的 最善良的 最有爱的男人 |
| [19:07] | And you’ve just made me the happiest. | 你刚刚让我成为了最幸福的男人 |
| [19:09] | Joy, if I wasn’t on top of a mountain with another woman | 乔依 如果此刻我不是和另一个女人在山顶 |
| [19:12] | and you weren’t inside an iPad, | 你不是在iPad里 |
| [19:16] | I would kiss you so hard right now. | 我一定会狠狠吻你的 |
| [19:20] | – Joy, I love you. – I love you, Bob. | -乔依 我爱你 -我也爱你 鲍勃 |
| [19:24] | – I love you, Joy. – I love you, Claude. | -我爱你 乔依 -我也爱你 克劳德 |
| [19:27] | – I love you, bro. – I love you, bro. | -我爱你 弟弟 -我也爱你 哥哥 |
| [19:29] | I love you, sis. | 我爱你 弟妹 |
| [19:31] | Yeah, I don’t think we’re there yet. | 行了 我们还没亲到那一步呢 |
| [19:40] | It really looks like he died in his sleep. | 看上去真的很像他是在睡梦中去世的呢 |
| [19:41] | And–and that’s what people will think. | 大家都会这么认为的 |
| [19:43] | We did a good thing. | 我们做了件好事 |
| [19:45] | Technically, we committed a crime, moving a dead body. | 严格来说 我们搬运尸体是犯了罪 |
| [19:47] | But it’s okay. No one will ever know. | 但没事的 没人会知道的 |
| [19:50] | Let’s get out of here before someone shows up. | 我们赶紧离开这里吧 别等到有人出现 |
| [19:51] | Yes. | 好的 |
| [19:53] | Too late. Someone showed up. | 太晚了 已经有人来了 |
| [19:56] | Ooh, quick. Get in the closet. | 快点 躲进柜子里去 |
| [20:03] | Ted, I know you’re in there. | 泰德 我知道你在里面的 |
| [20:05] | I saw your car. | 我看到你的车了 |
| [20:07] | There you are. | 你果然在啊 |
| [20:09] | Don’t pretend to be asleep, I smell her perfume on you. | 别假装睡觉 你身上有她的香水味 |
| [20:12] | That fool had another girlfriend. | 那个蠢货还有另外一个女朋友 |
| [20:15] | I’ll kill him. | 我要宰了他 |
| [20:20] | You’re never gonna cheat on me again! | 你再也别想背叛我了 |
| [20:26] | Oh, God! What are we gonna do? | 天啊 我们要怎么办才好 |
| [20:28] | She shot the mayor! | 她枪杀了市长 |
| [20:30] | Technically, I’m the mayor. | 严格说来 我才是市长 |
| [20:33] | But a terribly tragedy. | 真是个惨剧啊 |