| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | 2030年 | |
| [00:02] | Kids, I’m going to tell you an incredible story. | 孩子们，我要给你们讲一个美好的故事 |
| [00:05] | the story of how I met your mother. | 是关于我和你们母亲相遇的故事 |
| [00:08] | Are we being punished for something? | 我们是不是做错什么事情了？ |
| [00:10] | No. | 不是 |
| [00:11] | -Is this going to take a while? -Yes. | -这会不会讲很久 -是的 |
| [00:14] | 25 years ago, before I was dad, I had this whole other life. | 25年前，我还没当父亲的时候 我的生活可大不相同 |
| [00:22] | It was way back to 2005. | 这可要回到2005年 |
| [00:24] | I was 27，just starting to make it as an architect and living in New York with Marshal, my best friend from college. | 我还只有27岁，有一份建筑师的工作 和我大学时代最好的朋友Marshal合住在纽约 |
| [00:30] | My life was good, and then uncle Marshal went to screw the whole thing up. | 本来我的生活一切OK 然后你们的Marshal叔叔把一切都搞砸了 |
| [00:35] | Will you marry me? | 你愿意嫁给我吗？ |
| [00:38] | Yes, perfect, and you’re engaged. | 太好了，完美，你要订婚了 |
| [00:40] | You pop up the champagne. You drink a toast. You have sex on the kitchen floor. | 你开香槟，祝酒辞，然后在厨房地板上嘿咻 |
| [00:44] | Don’t have sex on our kitchen floor. | 别在厨房地板上嘿咻 |
| [00:45] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [00:46] | Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted. | 谢谢你帮我这个忙，Ted |
| [00:48] | Are you kidding? It’s you and Lily! | 开什么玩笑，这可是你和Lily！ |
| [00:50] | I’ve been there for all the big moment of you and Lily. | 你们俩所有的关键时刻 我都在一旁帮助你的 |
| [00:52] | The night you met, your first date, | 你们第一次相见，第一次约会…… |
| [00:55] | other first things. | 还有其他的“第一次”…… |
| [00:57] | Sorry, we thought you were asleep. | 呵呵，不好意思 我们还以为你睡着了呢 |
| [00:59] | It’s physics, Marshal. If the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves, too. | 这就是物理学，Marshal 下铺摇动，上铺也会跟着摇动 |
| [01:05] | My God! | 上帝啊 |
| [01:07] | You’re getting engaged tonight! | 你今晚就要订婚了 |
| [01:09] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [01:11] | What are you doing tonight? | 你今晚有什么计划？ |
| [01:13] | What was I doing? | 我那晚干什么了来着？ |
| [01:14] | Your uncle Marshal was taking the biggest step of his life. And me? | 你们的Marshal叔叔踏出了人生的关键一步 而我呢……？ |
| [01:17] | I’m calling up your uncle Barney. | 我给你们的Barney叔叔打了电话 |
| [01:20] | Hey, see, you know, however, I thought I had a thing for half Asian girls? | 嘿，伙计，还记得我说过 我对一半亚洲血统的小妞有偏好吗 |
| [01:24] | Well, now I’ve got a new favourite, | 现在我有新爱了 |
| [01:25] | Lebanese girls. | 黎巴嫩妞儿 |
| [01:28] | Lebanese girls are the new half Asians. | 黎巴嫩妞儿代表了新的半亚洲血统 |
| [01:31] | Hey, you want to do something tonight? | 嘿，今晚有什么计划没？ |
| [01:32] | OK, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes, | 好的，15分钟后酒吧见 |
| [01:34] | and suit up! | 记得穿西服！ |
| [01:38] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [01:39] | Where is your suit? | 你的西装呢？ |
| [01:40] | -Just once when I say ‘suit up’, I wish you’d put on a suit. -I did, that one time. | -我跟你说穿得好一点，就是说要你穿上西服！ -我穿过……一回 |
| [01:45] | It was a blazer. | 那是件夹克！ |
| [01:48] | You know, ever since college it’s been Marshal and Lily and me. | 你知道吗，从大学开始 一直都是Marshal，Lily和我 |
| [01:51] | Now it’s going to be Marshal and Lily, and me. | 而以后就会变成 Marshel和Lily……和我 |
| [01:54] | They’ll get married, start a family. | 他们就要结婚，成家了 |
| [01:55] | Before long I’m that weird, middle-aged bechalor, their kids call ‘uncle Ted’. | 以后我就是他们家小孩眼里 古怪的中年单身汉Ted叔叔了 |
| [02:02] | I see what this is about. | 我知道这是怎么回事了 |
| [02:03] | Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met? | 你忘记我们第一回见面的时候 我怎么跟你说的了吗？ |
| [02:08] | Ted, I’m going to teach you how to live. | Ted，我来教你怎么享受生活 |
| [02:11] | Barney. We met at the urinal. | 我是Barney，我们刚在小便池边认识的 |
| [02:13] | Oh, alright. | 哦 |
| [02:14] | Alright. | 你好 |
| [02:15] | Lesson one, lose the goatee. | 第一课，跟你的山羊胡子说再见 |
| [02:16] | It doesn’t go with your suit. | 它和你的西服不搭配 |
| [02:18] | -I’m not wearing a suit. -Lesson two, get a suit. | -我没穿西服 -第二课，穿上西服 |
| [02:20] | Suits are cool, exhibitive. | 西服很好，有模有样 |
| [02:23] | Lesson 3, don’t even think about getting married till you’re 30. | 第三课，千万别想结婚的事情 ……三十岁以后再说 |
| [02:28] | 30, right, you’re right. | 三十岁，是的，你是对的 |
| [02:29] | I guess that just your best friends get engaged, you start thinking about that stuff. | 我想当你最好的朋友订婚的时候 你难免考虑一些有的没的 |
| [02:32] | I thought I was your best friend. | 我以为我才是你最好的朋友 |
| [02:35] | Ted, say I’m your best friend. | Ted，说我才是你最好的朋友 |
| [02:38] | -You’re my best friend, Barney. -Good, | -你是我最好的朋友，Barney -很好…… |
| [02:39] | and as your best friend, I suggest we play a little game I’d like to call | 作为你最好的朋友，我提议玩一点小游戏 我愿意称之为…… |
| [02:42] | -‘have you met Ted’. -No, we are not playing ‘have you met Ted.’ | -“你见过Ted没有” -不不不，我们不玩这个游戏 |
| [02:45] | Hi, have you met Ted? | 嗨，你见过Ted没有？ |
| [02:48] | Hi! | 你好 |
| [02:49] | I’m Ted. | 我是Ted |
| [02:50] | Yasmin Yasmin. | |
| [02:51] | It’s a very pretty name. | 很好听的名字 |
| [02:52] | Thanks. It’s Lebanese. | 谢谢，这来源于黎巴嫩语 |
| [02:59] | I’m exhausted. It was finger painting day at school. | 我都累坏了，今天是学校里的涂鸦日 |
| [03:02] | A 5-year-old boy got to second base with me. | 一个5岁的小鬼，上了我的二垒 |
| [03:07] | Wow, are you cooking? | 哇哦，你在做饭吗？ |
| [03:09] | Yes, I am. | 是的，没错 |
| [03:13] | Are you sure that’s a good idea | 你肯定这是个好主意吗？ |
| [03:14] | after last time you looked really creepy without eyebrows. | 要知道上回之后，你没眉毛的样子很吓人 |
| [03:18] | I can handle this. So think you’ll find I’m full of surprise tonight. | 我应付的来，今晚是惊喜之夜 |
| [03:21] | So there’s more surprises? Like what? | 还有什么样的惊喜？ |
| [03:23] | Marshal was in the second year of law school, so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet. | Marshal正在读法律，所以他急中生智很有一套 |
| [03:29] | And that’s all of them! | 就是这个 |
| [03:32] | I’m going to go cook. | 我该去……做饭了 |
| [03:35] | I’m so happy for Marshal. I really am. I just couldn’t imagine settling down right now. | 我真的很为Marshal感到高兴 我只是无法想象现在就成家立业 |
| [03:39] | So do you think you’ll ever get married? | 那你还会结婚吗？ |
| [03:41] | Well, maybe eventually | 嗯，最后总会结的 |
| [03:43] | Some fall day | 比如在一个秋天…… |
| [03:44] | possibly in Central Park | 也许在中央公园…… |
| [03:46] | simple ceremony, we are better on vows. | 仪式就简单点，我们更注重誓约 |
| [03:48] | band, no DJ, people will dance. I’m not going to worry about it. | 乐队，不要DJ，人们各跳各的 我才懒得管呢 |
| [03:53] | Damn it! Why did Marshal have to get engaged! | 见鬼，Marshal干嘛这么早订婚 |
| [03:56] | Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his imaginary wedding. | 好笑吧，一个男的想象自己的婚礼 |
| [03:59] | Actually I think it’s cute. | 实际上，我觉得很可爱啊 |
| [04:01] | Well, you’re clearly drunk. | 看样子你肯定喝多了 |
| [04:03] | One more for the lady. | 给这位小姐再来一杯 |
| [04:06] | Oh, hey, look what I got. | 哦，对了，瞧瞧我弄了点什么 |
| [04:11] | Oh, honey, champagne! | 哦，亲爱的，香槟 |
| [04:17] | No, you’re too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne. | 不行，这么大个人还怕开香槟？ |
| [04:21] | I’m not scared. | 我没害怕 |
| [04:22] | -Then open it. -Fine. | -那就打开 -好的 |
| [04:26] | Please open it. | 还是你来吧 |
| [04:27] | You’re unbelievalbe, Marshal … | 老天啊，真不敢相信…… |
| [04:29] | There are two big questions a man has to ask in life: | 一个男人一生中有两个重要问题会问出口 |
| [04:31] | one you planned out for months, the other just slipps out when you’re half drunk at some bar. | 一个你要精心策划好几个月 而另一个则是在某个酒吧里半醉之中脱口而出 |
| [04:36] | Will you marry me? | 嫁给我好吗？ |
| [04:37] | You want to go out sometime? | 想约个时间出去玩儿吗？ |
| [04:39] | Of course, you idiot! | 当然愿意，你个傻瓜 |
| [04:42] | I’m sorry, Carl’s my boyfriend. | 对不起，Carl是我的男朋友 |
| [04:47] | What’s up, Carl? | 你好，Carl |
| [04:52] | I promised Ted we wouldn’t do that. | 我答应过Ted不会这样的 |
| [04:56] | Did you know there is a pop under your fridge? | 你注意到冰箱底下漏水了吗？ |
| [04:59] | No, but dips. | 没有，管他呢 |
| [05:01] | Where’s that champagne? | 香槟在哪儿？ |
| [05:03] | I want to drink a toast | 我想庆祝一下 |
| [05:04] | with my fiancee. | 和我的未婚妻 |
| [05:09] | Hard to know I was so scared at this. | 这有什么好怕的 |
| [05:11] | It’s pretty easy, right? | 多简单，不是吗？ |
| [05:16] | Why am I freaking out all of a sudden. This is crazy. I’m not ready to get settled down. | 我怎么突然之间这么饥渴了，真荒唐 我还没准备要找老婆呢 |
| [05:20] | How does Carl lend a Lebanese girl? | Carl怎么勾搭上一个黎巴嫩小妞的 |
| [05:22] | -The plan’s always been, don’t even think about it until you’re 30. -Exactly. | -应该是三十岁之前不想结婚这事 -没错 |
| [05:26] | The guy doesn’t even own a suit. | 这家伙根本就不穿西服的 |
| [05:28] | Plus, Marshal’s found the love of his life. | 况且，Marshel已经找到了他终生挚爱 |
| [05:30] | Even if I was ready, which I’m not, | 就算我已经准备好了，事实上我不是…… |
| [05:32] | but if I was, it’s like, | 但假设我想结婚了，就好像…… |
| [05:33] | ‘OK, I’m ready, where is she?’ | “好了，我准备了，可她在哪儿？” |
| [05:40] | And there she was. | 她就这样出现了 |
| [05:48] | It was like something from an old movie, | 这就好像老电影里的情节 |
| [05:50] | with a sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy, and says, ‘see that girl? | 一个水手看见舞池对面的她 然后转身对自己的同伴说：“瞧见那姑娘了吗？” |
| [05:57] | I’m going to marry her some day.’ | “总有一天我会娶到她” |
| [05:59] | -Hey, Barney, See that girl? -Oh, yeah, you just know that she likes dirty. | -Barney，瞧见那姑娘了吗？ -哦，是的，性感身段 |
| [06:05] | -Go say ‘hi.’ -I can’t just go say ‘hi.’ | -过去打个招呼 -我不能就这么走过去 |
| [06:07] | I need a plan. | 我得有个计划 |
| [06:09] | I’m going to wait until she goes to the bathroom. | 我要等到她上洗手间的时候…… |
| [06:11] | I’ll strategically place myself by the jukebox… | 再偷偷给她点一杯饮料…… |
| [06:13] | Hi, have you met Ted? | 你见过Ted没有？ |
| [06:18] | Let me guess, Ted? | 我猜猜，你应该是Ted了 |
| [06:23] | Sorry, Lily, I’m so sorry. | 对不起，Lily，我真的很抱歉 |
| [06:25] | Take us to the hospital. | 送我们去医院 |
| [06:28] | Did you hit her? | 你是不是打了她？ |
| [06:31] | Hit me? Please! | 打我？得了吧 |
| [06:32] | This guy can barely even spank me in bed for fun. | 这小子连在床上打我屁股都不会 |
| [06:35] | He’s all like, ‘Oh, honey, did that hurt?’ | 他就这么（轻拍一下） 然后赶忙说：“哦，亲爱的，没弄疼你吧” |
| [06:38] | And I’m like, ‘Oh, come on! Let me have you, pansy.’ | 而我就说 “使劲些，让我尝尝你的厉害，娘娘腔” |
| [06:41] | Wow, complete stranger. | 哇哦，有个陌生人 |
| [06:43] | No, it’s OK, go on. | 不不不不，没关系，继续说 |
| [06:51] | So what do you do? | 你是做哪一行的？ |
| [06:52] | I’m a reporter from Metronews One. | 我是都市新闻一台的记者 |
| [06:55] | Kind of a reporter. | 算半个播报员吧 |
| [06:56] | I do those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news, you know, like, | 我总是在新闻之后播报一些无意义的小消息 比如…… |
| [07:00] | monkey can play the ukulele. | 猴子会弹ukulele （夏威夷的四弦琴） |
| [07:03] | I’m hoping to get some bigger stories soon. | 希望以后能够播报一些大新闻 |
| [07:05] | Bigger like, gorilla with an upright bass? | 大一点的？就好比…… 大猩猩演奏贝丝？ |
| [07:08] | I’m sorry. You’re really pretty. | 不好意思，你看起来真漂亮 |
| [07:14] | Oh, your friends don’t seem too happy. | 你的朋友看起来心情不好 |
| [07:15] | Yeah, see the one in the middle just got dumped by her boyfriend, so tonight, | 中间那个刚被男朋友甩了 所以今晚…… |
| [07:18] | every guy is the “enemy”. | 所有男人都是“敌人” |
| [07:20] | You know if it’ll make your friend feel better, you could throw a drink in my face. I don’t mind. | 如果想要你朋友开心的话，你可以往我脸上泼饮料 我不介意的 |
| [07:23] | She would love that. | 她肯定会喜欢的 |
| [07:26] | It does look fun in the movies. | 电影里这种情节都很有趣 |
| [07:28] | Hey, you want to have dinner with me Saturday night? | 周六晚上有时间共进晚餐吗？ |
| [07:30] | Oh, I can’t. I’m going to Orlando for a week on Friday. | 我周五要去Orlando一个星期 |
| [07:33] | Some guy’s attempting to make the world’s biggest pancake. Guess who’s covering it? | 有个人要做一个世界上最大的蛋糕 我要负责这个报导 |
| [07:36] | -That’s going to take a week? -Yes. He’s going to eat it, too. That’s another record. | -这能报导一个星期？ -是的，他还会把蛋糕吃掉，这也是个世界纪录 |
| [07:41] | Hey, what’s taking so long? | 怎么回事那么久？ |
| [07:43] | I know this is a long shot, but how about tomorrow night? | 我知道这有些唐突，不过明晚怎么样？ |
| [07:47] | Yeah, what the hell? | 好吧，管他呢 |
| [07:55] | Jerk! | 混球！ |
| [07:57] | That was fun. | 真好玩 |
| [08:00] | De — wait for it — nied! | 拒……稍等……绝了！ |
| [08:03] | Denied! | 拒绝了 |
| [08:05] | We’re going out tomorrow night. | 明晚佳人有约 |
| [08:06] | I thought we were playing laser attack tomorrow night! | 我以为我们明晚一起玩激光枪大战呢 |
| [08:08] | Yeah, I was never going to play laser attack. | 没错，不过我从没打算玩激光枪大战 |
| [08:13] | The next night, I took her out to this little in Brooklyn. | 第二天，我带她去了一家Brooklyn的小酒馆 |
| [08:17] | Wow, that is one bad ass boof French horn. | 哇哦，那可真是个蓝色的法国喇叭 （双关，亦可理解为法国色情电影） |
| [08:20] | Yeah, so it looks like a smurf penis. | 看到它我就想起了蓝精灵的阳具 |
| [08:25] | Son, a piece of advice. | 孩子们，给你们一些建议 |
| [08:26] | When you go on a first date, you really don’t want to say ‘smurf penis.’ | 第一次约会的时候，你千万不要说“蓝精灵的阳具” |
| [08:30] | Girls don’t ordinarilly like that. | 一般情况下，女孩子们不想到这种东西 |
| [08:34] | But this was no ordinary girl. | 不过这个女孩可不一般 |
| [08:40] | Lily？ Lily? | |
| [08:42] | How have you been sitting there? | 你在这儿坐了多久了？ |
| [08:44] | The stupid odd patch! | 愚蠢的眼罩 |
| [08:49] | Mom, dad, I have found the future Mrs. Ted Mosbie! | 老爸，老妈，我已经找到了未来的Ted Mosbie夫人 |
| [08:53] | Marshal, how have I always described my perfect woman? | Marshal，我都是怎么描述我的梦中情人的 |
| [08:55] | I’ll let see. | 我想想 |
| [08:57] | She likes dogs? | 她爱狗 |
| [08:58] | I’ve got 5 dogs. | 我有5支狗 |
| [09:00] | She drinks scotch? | 爱喝苏格兰威士忌 |
| [09:01] | I love a scotch that’s old enough to own it’s own scotch. | 我自从饮酒年龄开始就爱喝苏格兰威士忌了 |
| [09:03] | Can quote obsure lines from ‘Ghost Busters?’ | 她喜欢引用《捉鬼敢死队》里的台词？ |
| [09:05] | ‘Ray, when someone ask you if you’re God, you say yes!’ | “Ray，要是别人问你是不是上帝 你就说是！” |
| [09:11] | And I’m saving the best for last. | 我把最带劲的留到最后 |
| [09:13] | Do you want this? I hate olives. | 你想吃这个吗？我讨厌橄榄果 |
| [09:15] | She hates olives! Awesome! | 她讨厌橄榄果，太棒了 |
| [09:17] | The olive theory! | 橄榄果理论 |
| [09:19] | The olive theory is based on my friends Marshal and Lily. | 橄榄果理论来自于我的朋友Marshal和Lily |
| [09:22] | He hates olives. She loves them. And that makes them such a great couple. | 他不喜欢橄榄果，而她喜欢 而奇怪的是他们却又是幸福的一对 |
| [09:25] | Perfect balance. | 完美的平衡 |
| [09:27] | You know, I’ve had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever. | 要知道，我有一罐橄榄果 好像在我的冰箱里呆了足足一个世纪了 |
| [09:33] | I can take them off your hands. | 我可以帮你脱手 |
| [09:35] | They are all yours. | 它们都归你了 |
| [09:38] | Oh, it is on! It is on till that breakup done! | 哦，有戏了，有好戏要上演了！ |
| [09:44] | Wait, it’s only the break at 10:30. What happened? | 等等，这还不到10:30，怎么搞的？ |
| [09:48] | I’ve got to get one of those boof French horns over my fireplace. | 我真想在自家壁炉上也挂一个蓝色的法国喇叭 |
| [09:51] | It’s got to be blue. It’s got to be French. | 一定要是蓝色的，一定要是法国的 |
| [09:53] | No green clarinet? | 不要绿色的单簧管？ |
| [09:54] | No purple tuba? | 也不要紫色的大号？ |
| [09:56] | It’s a smurf penis. We are no dice. | 这些都不能让我想起“假阳具” |
| [09:59] | There you are. | 总算找到你了 |
| [10:00] | We got a jumper, some crazy guy on the Manhattan Bridge. | 有个要轻生的人，某个曼哈顿大桥上的疯子 |
| [10:03] | Come on. You’re covering it. | 快来，你来报导 |
| [10:06] | Alright, I’ll be right there. | 好的，我马上来 |
| [10:09] | I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [10:11] | I had a really great time tonight. | 今晚我过得很开心 |
| [10:14] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [10:15] | So? Did you kiss her? | 然后呢，你吻她了吗？ |
| [10:17] | No, the moment wasn’t right. | 没有，时机不对 |
| [10:19] | Look, this woman could actually be my future wife. I want our first kiss to be amazing. | 听着，她可能就是我未来的妻子 我希望我们第一次接吻能够完美 |
| [10:23] | Oh, Ted, that is so sweet! | 哦，Ted，你真体贴 |
| [10:26] | So you chickened out like a little bitch. | 于是你就像小女人一样退缩了 |
| [10:30] | What? I did not chicken out. | 什么？我可没有退缩！ |
| [10:32] | You know what? I don’t need to take a first kiss advice from some pirate | 说实话，我可用不着从某个…… 海盗那里，探教初吻经验 |
| [10:35] | who hasn’t be single since the first week at college. | 你大学第一周就不是单身一族了 |
| [10:37] | Ted, anyone who’s single would tell you the same thing. | Ted，任何一个单身族都会这么说 |
| [10:40] | Even the dumbest single person alive. | 最蠢的也不例外 |
| [10:42] | And if you don’t believe me? Call him. | 如果你不相信我，给他打个电话 |
| [10:46] | Hey, loser? How’s not playing laser attack? Because playing laser attack is awesome! | 嘿，烂人，不玩激光枪大战的感觉怎样？ 因为玩激光枪大战酷毙了 |
| [10:51] | I killed you, connered. I’ll make me get your mom. | 我已经把你干掉了，Conerd 小心我给你妈妈打电话 |
| [10:53] | Listen, I need your opinion on something. | 听我说，有件事我想听听你的意见 |
| [10:55] | OK, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. | 好的，我们15分钟后在酒吧见…… |
| [10:57] | Suit up! | 记着穿西服！！ |
| [10:59] | So these guys think I chickened out. | 这两位都说我退缩了 |
| [11:01] | What do you think? | 你怎么说 |
| [11:02] | I can’t believe | 我不敢相信…… |
| [11:04] | you’re still not waring a suit! | 你还是没穿西服！ |
| [11:07] | She didn’t even give me the signal. | 她都没给我一个暗示 |
| [11:09] | What? Is she going to bat her eyes at you in Morse code? | 那又怎样，难道她得用眼睛眨莫尔斯码？ |
| [11:12] | ‘Ted, kiss me.’ | “Ted……吻我” |
| [11:15] | No, you just kiss her! | 不用了，你直接吻好了 |
| [11:16] | Not if you don’t get the signal. | 要是没有得到暗示就不行！ |
| [11:21] | -Did Marshal give me the signal? -No! | -Marshal给我暗示了吗？ -没有！ |
| [11:24] | I didn’t. I swear. | 我没有，我发誓！ |
| [11:28] | At least tonight I get to sleep knowing Marshal and me, never going to happen. | 至少我知道Marshal和我之间是不可能的 今晚可以睡个安稳觉 |
| [11:31] | You should have kissed her. | 你本该吻她 |
| [11:33] | I should have kissed her. | 我本该吻她的 |
| [11:34] | Maybe in a week when she gets back from Orlando. | 下个星期她就要从Orlando回来了 也许…… |
| [11:36] | A week? That’s like a year in hot girl’s time. | 一星期？这在辣妹时间里就是一年啊 |
| [11:38] | She’ll forget all about you. | 她会把你忘得一干二净 |
| [11:39] | Mark my words, you’ll never see that one again. | 记住我的话，你永远也见不着她了 |
| [11:43] | There she is! | 她在那儿呢 |
| [11:45] | Woo, she’s cute. Carl, turn it up. | 哦，真漂亮……Carl，声音开大些 |
| [11:48] | … him to reconsider | “……劝他三思” |
| [11:50] | at which point the man came down off the ledge, giving this bizzare story a happy ending. | “最后这个人走下了护栏 我们的故事也有了一个圆满的结局” |
| [11:55] | Reporting from Metro 1 News … | “都市新闻一台报导……” |
| [11:56] | Didn’t jump. | 哈，那个人没跳 |
| [11:59] | I’m going to kiss her. | 我现在就去吻她 |
| [12:00] | Right now. | 现在就去 |
| [12:01] | Dude, it’s midnight. As your future lawyer I might advice you that’s freaking crazy. | 伙计，现在是午夜 作为你未来的律师，我必须提醒你这真TM疯狂 |
| [12:06] | I never do anything crazy. I’m always waiting for the moment, planning the moment. | 可我从来没做过什么疯狂的事 我总是在等好的时机，计划好的时机 |
| [12:10] | She’s leaving tomorrow. This maybe the only chance I’m going to get. | 她明天就走，这也许是我最后的机会了 |
| [12:13] | I got to do what that guy couldn’t. I got to take the leap. | 我要做那个人做不到的 我要吻那一双唇！（与跳下去谐音） |
| [12:18] | OK, not a perfect metaphor. | 好吧，不恰当的比方 |
| [12:19] | Because for me it’s falling in love and getting married and for him, it’s | 因为对我而言，是谈恋爱结婚 对他来说，则是…… |
| [12:21] | death. | 翘辫子 |
| [12:23] | Actually, that is a perfect metaphor. | 事实上，这个比方很恰当 |
| [12:26] | By the way, could I congratulate you two? | 顺便差点忘了，祝贺你们（翘辫子） |
| [12:29] | I’m doing this. | 说干就干 |
| [12:31] | Let’s go. | 我们走 |
| [12:32] | -Where? -We’re coming with you. | -去哪儿？ -跟他一起走 |
| [12:34] | Barney？ Barney? | |
| [12:37] | Alright. But under one condition. | 好吧，只要满足我一个条件…… |
| [12:40] | Look at you, you beautiful bastard! You’re suited up! | 瞧瞧你，帅气的小杂碎 总算给我穿上西服了 |
| [12:43] | This is totally going in my block. | 这才像话！ |
| [12:46] | Stop the car. Pull over right here. | 停车，在这儿靠边！ |
| [12:50] | I got to do something. | 有件事我得先搞定 |
| [12:52] | Excuse me. Pardon me. Just say | 不好意思 |
| [12:54] | enjoy your coffee. | 请享受你们的咖啡 |
| [12:57] | Go, go, go! | 开车！ |
| [13:02] | Everybody brings flowers. | 大家都会带上花儿 |
| [13:09] | OK, the moment of truth. | 好的，关键时刻 |
| [13:12] | Wish me luck. | 祝我好运 |
| [13:13] | Ted’s going to get it on a with a TV reporter. | Ted要和一个电视台记者搞上了 |
| [13:16] | ‘It’s just in.’ OK… | “为您现场报道，爽啊爽啊” |
| [13:21] | Kiss her, Ted. Kiss her good! | 吻她，Ted，好好的吻她 |
| [13:23] | Kiss the crap out of that girl! | 吻得那小妞七荤八素！ |
| [13:24] | Marshal, remember this night. | Marshal，记住这个晚上 |
| [13:27] | And you’re the best man at our wedding. You give a speech. You’re going to tell this story. | 当你在我的婚礼上作伴郎并发言的时候 你可以把这个故事讲一遍 |
| [13:32] | Why does he get to be the best man? | 怎么会是他做伴郎？ |
| [13:34] | I’m your best friend! | 我才是你最好的朋友！ |
| [13:37] | As I walked up to that door, a million thoughts raised to my mind. | 在走到门口的时候，我百感交集 |
| [13:40] | Unfortunately one particular thought did not. | 不幸的是，有一个想法没想到 |
| [13:43] | I’ve got 5 dogs. | 我有5只狗 |
| [13:47] | Not good, not good … | 不妙，不妙，不妙 |
| [13:48] | -No! -Get back in there! | -不行！ -给我回去！ |
| [13:50] | You’re wearing a suit! | 你身上穿着西服！ |
| [13:55] | Ted？ Ted? | |
| [13:57] | Hi! | 你好 |
| [14:00] | I was just | 我刚才…… |
| [14:06] | come on up. | 快上来吧 |
| [14:09] | He’s in. | 他进去了 |
| [14:12] | So, Ranjit | 那么，Ranjit |
| [14:13] | You must have done that with a Lebanese girl. | 你肯定和黎巴嫩妞儿玩过 |
| [14:15] | OK, that’s my Barney. Let me | 好吧，我有点忍不住了 |
| [14:18] | I’m going to see if that has a bathroom. | 我去找找这房子里面有没有洗手间 |
| [14:21] | Actually, I’m from Bangladesh. | 事实上，我来自孟加拉国 |
| [14:23] | The women hot there? | 那边的小妞靓不？ |
| [14:26] | Here’s a picture of my wife. | 这是我妻子的照片 |
| [14:30] | He’ll know what he sufficed. | 给他点面子吧…… |
| [14:33] | She’s lovely. | 她很可爱 |
| [14:36] | So Ted, what brings you back to Brooklyn at 1 in the morning in a suit? | Ted，什么风把你吹到Brooklyn来的 凌晨一点，西装革履 |
| [14:42] | I was just hoping to | 我是想…… |
| [14:44] | get those olives. | 来拿你不要的那些橄榄果 |
| [14:48] | We shall have these olives with some gin and vermuth? | 除了橄榄果，你还想来点琴酒吗？ |
| [14:51] | Are you trying to get me drunk? | 你是想灌醉我吗？ |
| [14:57] | We’re starters. | 我们慢慢来 |
| [15:03] | （谢谢你） | |
| [15:06] | Marshal Marshal, | |
| [15:07] | -This olive theory, based on you and Lily? -Yeah. | -这个橄榄果理论，是根据你和Lily？ -是啊 |
| [15:10] | You hate olives. Lily loves them. You can’t stand them? | 你讨厌橄榄果，她喜欢，你受不了那味道？ |
| [15:13] | Yeah, I hate olives. | 是的，我讨厌橄榄果 |
| [15:14] | Two weeks ago, Spanish Bar at 79th Street, dish of olive, you had some. | 两星期前，79号街上的西班牙酒吧 一碟橄榄果，你吃了不少 |
| [15:18] | What up! | 解释一下 |
| [15:22] | You have to swear that this does not leave this cab. | 你发誓这些话不会传出去 |
| [15:25] | I swear. | 我发誓 |
| [15:26] | I swear. | 我发誓 |
| [15:29] | On our first date, I ordered a Greek salad. Lily asked if she could have my olives. | 我们第一次约会的时候，我点了一份希腊沙拉 Lily问我能不能把橄榄果都给她吃 |
| [15:33] | I said, ‘sure, I hate olives.’ | 我说，“好啊，我讨厌橄榄果” |
| [15:36] | But you like olives. | 但你喜欢吃橄榄果 |
| [15:37] | Well, I was 18, OK? I was a virgin. | 我那时候只有18岁，好吗? 我还是个处男 |
| [15:40] | I’ve been waiting my whole life for a pretty girl to want my olives. | 我一生都在等哪个漂亮美眉 愿意吃我的橄榄果 |
| [15:44] | Marshal, I’m going to give you an early wedding present | Marshal，我先给你一个婚前礼物吧 |
| [15:47] | Don’t get married. | “别结婚！” |
| [15:57] | I think I like your olive theory. | 我喜欢你的橄榄果理论 |
| [16:00] | I think I like your French horn. | 我喜欢你新的法国喇叭 |
| [16:03] | I think I like your nose. | 我想我喜欢你的鼻子 |
| [16:06] | I think I’m in love with you. | 我想我爱上你了 |
| [16:08] | What? | 什么！？ |
| [16:09] | What? | 什么！？ |
| [16:10] | What? | 什么！？ |
| [16:11] | Come on, man! You said your stomach’s been hurting, right? You know what that is. | 得了吧，伙计，你说你那时候肚子疼 你知道是因为什么，不是吗？ |
| [16:14] | Hunger. You’re hungry for experience, hungry for something new, | 是渴望，你渴望得到经验，渴望新的体会 |
| [16:18] | hungry for olives. | 你渴望尝尝橄榄果 |
| [16:20] | But you’re too scared to do anything about it. | 不过你胆子太小不敢说罢了 |
| [16:23] | Yeah, I’m scared, OK? | 好吧，我是害怕了，行了吧 |
| [16:27] | But I want to get to spending the rest of my life with Lily. | 但我要和Lily共度余生了 |
| [16:30] | committing forever. | 承诺永久，没有别的女人 |
| [16:34] | It doesn’t scare me at all. | 我一点也不害怕 |
| [16:36] | I’m marrying that girl. | 我要娶这个女孩 |
| [16:39] | Lily Lily, | |
| [16:41] | Lily, I like olives. | Lily，我喜欢吃橄榄果 |
| [16:44] | We’ll make it work. | 我们会想办法解决的 |
| [16:57] | So Orlando, you’re going to hit this new world? | 说到Orlando，你在那边是报导什么？ |
| [17:01] | You love me? | 你爱我！？ |
| [17:04] | I can’t believe I said that. | 我也不敢相信我这么说了 |
| [17:05] | Why did I say that? | 我为什么要说 |
| [17:06] | Who says that? | 谁会那么说？ |
| [17:08] | I should just go. | 我该走了 |
| [17:09] | Hold on. Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [17:14] | I promised these. | 我答应了给你这个 |
| [17:16] | -Olives. -Yes. | -橄榄果 -是的 |
| [17:17] | Thanks. I love you. | 谢谢，我爱你 |
| [17:19] | What is wrong with me! | 我怎么回事？ |
| [17:23] | Why we are still sitting here? | 我们还坐在这儿干啥？ |
| [17:24] | Let’ go. We can still make a last call. | 我们还可以去喝几杯 |
| [17:25] | What do you say，Lil？ | 你怎么想，Lil？ |
| [17:26] | Yuhoho, and a bottle of rum! | 哟喉喉，再来一瓶朗姆酒 （模仿水手唱歌） |
| [17:31] | Because you’re a pirate? | 因为你加入了海盗 |
| [17:33] | OK, I patch gone. | 好吧，我把眼罩摘掉 |
| [17:35] | We can’t just abandon Ted. | 我们不能就这样丢下Ted |
| [17:37] | If it doesn’t go well up there, he’s going to need some support. | 如果上面进展不顺利的话 他最需要朋友的支持 |
| [17:40] | It’s been, like, 20 minutes. | 已经过去20分钟了 |
| [17:42] | You think they’re doing it? | 你想他们开始了吗？ |
| [17:43] | -You think they’re doing it in front of the dogs? -Doggy style? | -你想他们会在那些狗面前开始吗？ -嗯，用狗狗的姿势 |
| [17:47] | There is a girl in college who had this golden retriever … | 还记得大学的时候 有个小妞养了条金毛猎犬…… |
| [17:49] | OK, we can go to the bar. Just stop talking. | 好吧，我们快去酒吧 只要你们别在谈论这些了 |
| [17:51] | Hit it, Ranjie. | 走吧，Ranjie |
| [17:57] | So when you tell this to your friends, | 嗯，当你和你朋友说起我的时候 |
| [17:59] | could you avoid the word, ‘psycho?’ | 能不能不要“神经病”这个词 |
| [18:02] | I’d prefer ‘eccentric.’ | 换成……比如“乖僻”也好 |
| [18:05] | Good night, psycho. | 晚安，“神经病” |
| [18:11] | Great. | 好极了 |
| [18:12] | How do we get the train? | 嗯，地铁站怎么走 |
| [18:16] | Two blocks. That way and take a right. | 往那边走两个街区，再右转 |
| [18:21] | You know what? | 你知道么 |
| [18:24] | I’m done being single. | 我不想再单身了 |
| [18:26] | I’m not good at it. | 我也不善于单身 |
| [18:28] | Obviously, you can’t tell a woman you just met you love her. | 听着，很显然你不能对一个刚认识的女孩儿 说“我爱你” |
| [18:31] | But | 但是…… |
| [18:32] | it sucks that you can’t. | 你不敢说的话，却又很糟糕 |
| [18:35] | I’ll tell you something new, if a woman | 我告诉你吧，如果一个女孩儿…… |
| [18:37] | not you, just some hypothetical woman | 我不是指你，只是某个想象中的女孩儿 |
| [18:40] | would bear with me through all this, | 能够与我一起经历这种境地 |
| [18:42] | I think I’d make a damn good husband. | 我想我一定能做一个称职的丈夫 |
| [18:44] | Because that’s the stuff I’d be good at, | 因为这才是我擅长做的 |
| [18:46] | stuff like, making her laugh and being a good father | 我擅长……惹她欢笑，做个好父亲 |
| [18:50] | and her 5 hypothetical dogs, | 还可以帮忙溜她那五只想象中的狗 |
| [18:54] | and being a good kisser. | 还有很棒的接吻技巧 |
| [18:57] | Everyone thinks he’s a good kisser. | 每个人都认为自己接吻很棒 |
| [18:59] | I’ve got references. | 我可有好几个证人呢 |
| [19:01] | Good night, Ted. | 晚安，Ted |
| [19:09] | And I’m a good handshaker. | 我的握手技巧也很棒 |
| [19:11] | That’s a pretty good handshake. | 嗯，确实很棒 |
| [19:17] | And that was it. I’ll never see her again. | 就到此为止了，我再也没见过她 |
| [19:23] | What? | 怎么了？ |
| [19:23] | That was the signal! | 那就是暗示了 |
| [19:25] | That long, lingering handshake! You should have kissed her! | 那个意味深长的握手，你应该吻她的 |
| [19:29] | There’s no such thing as the signal. | 根本没有暗示这回事儿 |
| [19:31] | But yeah, that was the signal. | 不过，没错，那就是暗示了 |
| [19:34] | Signal. | 暗示 |
| [19:36] | Carl, thank you. | Carl，谢谢 |
| [19:38] | Something I got to do? | 有件事儿我要做…… |
| [19:40] | By the way, | 顺便说一句…… |
| [19:41] | you should have kissed her. | 你本该吻她的 |
| [19:42] | Carl, you guys weren’t there! | Carl……你们都不在场！ |
| [19:47] | I am so turned on right now. | 我现在“性”致盎然了 |
| [19:50] | Guys, trust me! I’ve seen the signal. | 伙计们，相信我，我知道什么是暗示 |
| [19:52] | That was not the signal! | 那不算暗示！ |
| [19:54] | Yeah, Ted, we’re not on your anymore. | 是啊是啊，Ted，我们现在没讨论你了 |
| [19:57] | To my fiancee. | 为我的未婚妻 |
| [19:59] | To the future. | 为了我们的未来 |
| [20:00] | To one the hell of a night. | 为这么爽的一夜 |
| [20:05] | That was not the signal! | 那个不算暗示！！ |
| [20:08] | I asked her about it years later | 一年后，我问起这件事 |
| [20:10] | and yeah, that was the signal. | 是的，她告诉我那是一个暗示 |
| [20:12] | I could have kissed her. | 我本该吻她的 |
| [20:14] | But that’s the funny thing about destiny. | 但这就是命运捉弄人的地方 |
| [20:16] | It happens whether you plan it or not. | 它总在你意想不到的时候发生 |
| [20:18] | I mean I never thought I’d see that girl again. | 我曾以为我再也见不到这个女孩儿了 |
| [20:19] | But it turns out I was just too close to the puzzle to see the picture that was formal. | 但那是因为我身在庐山中 |
| [20:24] | Bacause that, kids, is the true story | 因为这段故事，孩子们…… |
| [20:26] | of how I met your aunt Robin. | 是我与你们的Robin阿姨相遇的故事 |
| [20:29] | Aunt Robin? | Robin阿姨？ |
| [20:31] | I thought this was how you met mom. | 我以为这是你和妈妈的故事 |
| [20:33] | Will you relax? I’m getting to it. | 别心急好吗，我正要娓娓道来 |
| [20:35] | Like I said, it’s a long story. | 我说过了，这是一个很长很长的故事…… |