| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Your Uncle Barney was always always a bit of an enigma. | 你的巴尼叔叔总是有点神秘 |
| [00:02] | In all the years we lived in New York, | 住在纽约的那些年里 |
| [00:03] | none of us had ever set foot in his apartment. | 我们当中没有一个人踏进 过他家的门槛 |
| [00:06] | Until one day, one of us did. | 直到那天 某人甚至出现他的床上 |
| [00:12] | It’s a pretty good story. | 这是个有趣的故事 |
| [00:14] | And believe it or not, alcohol did not play a role. | 信不信由你 这一切和酒精都没有关系 |
| [00:17] | It all started two weeks earlier at Lily’s housewarming. | 所有的一切都开始于两周前 给莉莉的乔迁派对上 |
| [00:20] | 两周前 | |
| [00:20] | Hey, welcome to my new home. | 欢迎光临寒舍 |
| [00:22] | Oh, wow, Lily, this is… | 莉莉 这就是 |
| [00:25] | Oh, this is all of it. | 你的新公寓就这样? |
| [00:27] | Yeah, I know it’s small, but it’s got character. | 是的 我知道是小了点 不过这就是特点 |
| [00:30] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [00:30] | And I am learning Lithuanian from my neighbors. | 我最近在跟邻居学立陶宛语 |
| [00:34] | They’re great. | 他们真是太有意思了 |
| [00:35] | They’re always out there in the hall, you know, | 你也看见了 他们总是在大堂那 |
| [00:36] | cooking and gambling and giving each other haircuts. | 做饭 打牌 还相互剪头 |
| [00:39] | It’s nice. | 真有趣 |
| [00:41] | Hey, is that a toilet in your kitchen? | 你的厨房和厕所是一起的? |
| [00:43] | Or a stove in your bathroom? | 或者说炉子在你浴室? |
| [00:45] | Oh, that’s not just a stove. | 这个不是一般的炉子 |
| [00:48] | 这是炉皇 (stovenkerator＝ stove+oven+sink+refrigerator) | |
| [00:49] | a combination of a stove, oven and sink and refrigerator. | 它集火炉 水池 烤箱还有冰箱为一体 |
| [00:53] | Stovenkerator. | 炉皇 |
| [00:55] | Isn’t that futuristic? | 是不是很酷啊 超现实主义 |
| [00:56] | God, I hope not. | 我的神啊 怎么这样 |
| [00:58] | 墨菲床很酷啊 (墨菲床：一种不用时可折起放进壁橱的床) | |
| [01:00] | Yeah, it’s kind of a mess. I didn’t make my bed this morning, so… | 是啊 有点乱 今早懒得整理了 所以 |
| [01:06] | Oh! You know what, I bet sleeping at this angle is good for you. | 你知道吗? 有个新说法 |
| [01:10] | For some reason. | 以这个角度入睡对身体有利 |
| [01:12] | I got it. | 我明白了 |
| [01:19] | That was, something, something, I am going to, something, | 他是说 什么 什么 我就要 什么 什么 |
| [01:23] | you like a, something, donkey. | 你是一个 什么 什么 驴 |
| [01:28] | Huh. Other cultures. | 多么奇特的文化啊 |
| [01:30] | Hey, let’s break out the fruit basket. | 不要管他了 我来看看你们送的果篮 |
| [01:32] | Hey, who ate all the…? | 奇怪?有谁吃把它吃了 |
| [01:51] | Okay, we have to get Lily out of that apartment. Her roommate is a raccoon. | 最终我们不得不从莉莉的房间逃离 她有个老鼠室友 |
| [01:56] | I’d offer her my place, but I’ve got dogs and she’s allergic. | 我想让她来我那住 可是我有只狗 她对狗毛过敏 |
| [01:59] | Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. I think she’s a little more allergic to that. | 狗? 我跟她前男友住一起 她对那个估计更敏感 |
| [02:02] | What about your place, Barney? I know it’s shrouded in mystery, | 你那可以吗?巴尼 我知道你那里很神秘 |
| [02:05] | but it’s gotta have a couch. | 但肯定会有个沙发 |
| [02:06] | The Fortress of Barnitude? No way. | 想住巴尼超人的城堡？没门! (他把fortress of solitude 改称fortress of barnitude 把自己比作超人) |
| [02:08] | Come on. She’s desperate. | 别这样 她很惨啊 |
| [02:10] | Hmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, | 我对我要带回去的女人是有条件的 |
| [02:12] | but… pass. | 但是 她不予考虑 |
| [02:14] | One of you guys is very, very lucky because I have… | 你们当中的一个人非常非常走运 |
| [02:18] | a boom, an extra ticket to the Alanis Morissette concert. Who’s in? | 因为有张多的艾拉妮丝·莫莉塞特演唱会的票 谁想去? |
| [02:21] | – Absolutely not. – No. | – 很明显 没有 – 不 |
| [02:23] | Damn! I got these tickets, like, months ago for me and Lily | 见鬼! 大概一个月前我就搞到票了 当时想和莉莉一起去 |
| [02:26] | and now I can’t find anyone to go with me. | 现在想找个伴都找不到 |
| [02:28] | This is what I miss about being in a couple. | 所以很怀念以前成双入对的日子 |
| [02:30] | I always had someone to go to concerts with, | 这样总有人可以陪我去演唱会 |
| [02:32] | or farmer’s market, | 去菜市场 |
| [02:34] | or brunch. | 还有早午餐 |
| [02:35] | God, I miss brunch! | 上帝 我上午没有吃饭 |
| [02:37] | Well, I guess you could– well, you could try going to brunch alone. | 这样的话我认为你可以自己吃早午餐 |
| [02:40] | Oh, you don’t think I’ve tried? | 你认为我没有试过? |
| [02:42] | Table for one. | 一位 |
| [02:44] | One couple? | 一对? |
| [02:46] | Um, no, just me. | 不 就我一个人 |
| [02:47] | Really? | 真的? |
| [02:49] | For brunch? | 一个人的早午餐? |
| [02:51] | You’re right. Who am I kidding? | 对 我不是开玩笑 |
| [02:54] | Ooh, The Popover Pantry. That place is great. Can we go get brunch tomorrow? | 波普餐厅 真是个好地方 明天我们去吃早午餐吧 |
| [02:57] | Of course, sweetie. | 可以啊 亲爱的 |
| [02:59] | Can I go with you guys? | 我能跟你们一起去吗? |
| [03:00] | Really? For brunch? | 确定?跟我们去吃早午饭? |
| [03:03] | God, I hate being single! | 上帝!我讨厌单身! |
| [03:08] | Okay, I’ll take the over on the Pittsburgh game. | 好吧 我赌匹兹堡赢 |
| [03:10] | Oh, and P. to the S., I never got my payout | 匹兹堡对西雅图 两个星期以来 |
| [03:13] | from Seattle from two weeks ago. | 我就没在西雅图上面赢过钱 |
| [03:15] | Yeah. Don’t make me call the gaming commission on you. | 好的 不要逼我向赌博委员会投诉你 |
| [03:19] | I’m sure they’d be very interested to know what’s going on over there. | 我肯定他们会对这很感兴趣 |
| [03:22] | All right? All right? | 好吗?明白吗? |
| [03:25] | Okay, I love you, too, Mom. Take care. | 我也爱你 妈妈 多保重 |
| [03:31] | Hello, Lily. | 莉莉! 你好 |
| [03:35] | You’ve somehow managed to circumvent my security. | 你成功的获取了我的机密 |
| [03:38] | How did you do it? | 你怎么做到的 |
| [03:40] | Ted gave me your spare key. | 泰德把备用钥匙给我了 |
| [03:42] | Spare key, brilliant! | 备用钥匙! 太聪明了! |
| [03:44] | I’m sorry, but you know I’d only come here | 我很不好意思 不过我也就只能来这了 |
| [03:46] | if I had no other choice. | 我没别地儿可去了 |
| [03:48] | But earlier today, I was getting ready to go to sleep and… | 今晚 我正准备早点睡觉的时候 |
| [04:04] | Sveikas. | 你好 （立陶宛语） |
| [04:09] | That’s terrible. | 太糟了 |
| [04:11] | Well, see ya. | 好吧 改天见 |
| [04:13] | Well, can I stay here maybe? | 晕 我今晚不能留下吗? |
| [04:15] | Oh… I’d let you, but I don’t have any room. | 我很愿意 但是房间不够 |
| [04:19] | You live in a two-bedroom apartment. | 但是你住的是两室的房间啊 |
| [04:21] | You have one room just for your suits. | 你用一间屋子专门放衣服 |
| [04:24] | Hey, I’m at a point in my life where my suits are my family. | 在我生命里 我的衣服也是家庭成员 |
| [04:28] | Look around you, Lily. | 莉莉 看看周围 |
| [04:30] | You are in the heart of bachelor country, | 你现在置身于 一个单身汉的国度 |
| [04:32] | and as a woman, you are an illegal immigrant here. | 作为一个女人 你在我这里是不受欢迎的 |
| [04:36] | Now, you can try to apply for a sex visa, but that only lasts 12 hours. | 现在你可以申请一张只有 12小时的”性”签证 |
| [04:40] | 14 if you qualify for multiple entry. | 如果你床上功夫好的话 还有长达14小时的多次往返签证 |
| [04:43] | Eww… is something some lame, judgmental chick would say, | 要是单纯的小女生肯定说 “不会吧” |
| [04:48] | but I say give me multiple high fives. | 但是我要得到多次往返签证 来 击掌 |
| [04:52] | Wow, you really are desperate. | 哇 你真是不顾一切 |
| [04:54] | I really am. | 那确实 |
| [04:55] | Okay, you can stay here for two days. | 好吧 你可以待两天 |
| [04:59] | But I only have one rule. You can’t change anything. | 只有一条你要遵守 不能乱动我的东西 |
| [05:03] | Why would I change anything? This place is… | 我没有理由乱动你的东西 这里真是… |
| [05:07] | …perfect. | …完美 |
| [05:09] | Except for the fact that you don’t have a TV. | 除了你没有电视这个事实 |
| [05:12] | See that wall? | 看见那面墙了吗? |
| [05:17] | 300-inch flat-screen. | 300寸的液晶电视 |
| [05:20] | They only sell them in Japan, but I know a guy. | 只有东京有卖的 但是我有个熟人 |
| [05:24] | Had to ship it over in a tugboat like freakin’ King Kong. | 用了一艘可以装下金刚的船 才把它弄回来的 |
| [05:27] | It hurts my eyes. | 亮的晃眼睛 |
| [05:29] | Yeah. That doesn’t go away. | 是啊 这光无法关掉 |
| [05:33] | – Hey. – Hey, where have you been? | – 嘿 – 嘿 你去哪了? |
| [05:35] | The Alanis Morissette concert. | 艾拉妮丝·莫莉塞特的演唱会 |
| [05:37] | By yourself? | 一个人? |
| [05:38] | No, actually I went with a friend from law school. | 事实上我是和一个法学院的朋友去的 |
| [05:40] | Oh, really? Who’s this friend? | 真的?她是谁啊? |
| [05:43] | Brad. | 布莱德 |
| [05:46] | – Bro, Alanis Morissette rocks! – Totally! | – 兄弟 艾拉妮丝·莫莉塞特摇滚? – 完全正确 |
| [05:50] | I can’t believe I almost didn’t come tonight. | 不可思议吧 我今晚差点就不能来了 |
| [05:51] | Let me guess: You bought the tickets for you and Lily | 我猜 这两张票是你打算和莉莉一起去的 |
| [05:53] | right before she dumped you. | 在她甩了你之前 |
| [05:55] | Yeah, how’d you know? | 是啊 你怎么知道的 |
| [05:56] | I just got dumped myself. | 我也才被甩了 |
| [05:58] | What, Kara broke up with you? | 什么?卡洛跟你分手了? |
| [06:02] | I’m sorry, man. That sucks. | 很遗憾 这太郁闷了 |
| [06:07] | Brad, do you like brunch? | 布莱德你喜欢早午饭吗? |
| [06:09] | You invited him to brunch? | 你请他吃早午饭? |
| [06:11] | Yeah, I invited him to brunch. Why, is that weird? | 是啊 我请了 有问题? |
| [06:13] | Yes. That’s why I was all, “You invited him to brunch?” | 是的 问题就在于 你邀请他一起吃早午饭 |
| [06:17] | Why can’t two guys who are friends go to brunch? | 为什么朋友就不能去吃呢? |
| [06:20] | Because brunch is kind of… | 因为这个有点 |
| [06:23] | G irly. | 娘娘腔 |
| [06:24] | Girly? Breakfast isn’t girly. | 娘娘腔?早餐不娘娘腔 |
| [06:27] | Lunch isn’t girly. What makes brunch girly? | 午饭不娘娘腔 偏偏早午餐有? |
| [06:29] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [06:30] | There’s nothing girly about a horse. | 比如说马听起来娘娘腔 |
| [06:32] | Nothing girly about a horn, | 角也没有 |
| [06:34] | but put them together and you get a unicorn. | 但是独角兽听说来就娘娘腔 |
| [06:37] | I don’t care what either of you say, | 管你们怎么说 |
| [06:39] | I am going to The Popover Pantry with Brad. | 我要和布莱德去波普餐厅 |
| [06:42] | We’re here. We’re hungry. | 我们去了 我们饿了 |
| [06:44] | Get used to it, brunch. | 习惯早午餐吧 |
| [06:52] | – Hmm… smells delicious. – Thank you. | -闻起来真香 – 谢谢夸奖 |
| [06:55] | There was no food in the fridge, so I picked up… | 冰箱里没有吃的了 所以我买了点 |
| [06:58] | What are you doing? | 你在做什么? |
| [06:59] | Lily, what was the first rule again? | 莉莉 再重复一遍规矩 |
| [07:01] | Don’t change anything. | 不要乱动任何东西! |
| [07:03] | And what was the second rule? | 那第二条是什么? |
| [07:04] | – There was no second rule. – Exactly! | -规则二 没有规则二? – 是的! |
| [07:06] | There was only one rule and you broke it. | 这里只有一条规则 而你破了规矩 |
| [07:09] | I bought groceries. That counts as changing something? | 我买食物 这个也算? |
| [07:13] | Lily, if I wanted a fridge full of groceries, | 莉莉 如果我想要冰箱 里放满了食物 |
| [07:15] | or fresh coffee in the morning, | 或者早上有新鲜的咖啡 |
| [07:17] | I’d be in a relationship. | 那我早就去找女朋友了 |
| [07:20] | But I don’t want to be in a relationship. | 但是!我不想有女朋友 |
| [07:24] | That’s why I make it crystal-clear to every girl that walks through that door | 这就是为什么我明确的告诉 每一个来这里的女孩 |
| [07:27] | that this is not a place to leave a toothbrush. | 这里不是放牙刷的地方 |
| [07:29] | This is not a place to leave a contact lens case. | 也不是放隐形眼镜盒的地方 |
| [07:32] | This is a place to leave. | 此地不宜久留 |
| [07:34] | Come on, I’ll give you a tour. | 来 我带你去看看 |
| [07:36] | Uh, no flash photography, please. | 禁止照相 |
| [07:39] | Bienvenido to the bedroom. | 欢迎来到卧室 |
| [07:41] | Dig this: king-sized bed, | 看 超大的床 |
| [07:43] | full-sized blanket, one pillow. | 大毛毯 一个枕头 |
| [07:45] | Everything about this bed says, “our work here is done.” | 这些东西都在对曾睡过的人说 这没你的事了 你可以走了 |
| [07:49] | Next we say “bienvenue” to the bathroom. | 接下来是盥洗室 |
| [07:52] | What, only one towel? | 为什么只有一条毛巾? |
| [07:54] | What, no hairdryer? | 为什么没有电吹风? |
| [07:56] | You know where I keep that stuff? Your place. Beat it. | 你知道我把东西都放哪吗? 你住的房间 想多了 |
| [07:59] | And the coup de grace… | 接下来看最优雅 |
| [08:06] | Yeah, that’s right. | 看见了吧 |
| [08:09] | Patent-pending. | 这个还没有申请专利 |
| [08:11] | And wilkommen to the hallway. | 这里是通向客厅的走廊 |
| [08:14] | While guys like Ted and Marshall may hide their porn… | 当像泰德还有马修还要 把A片藏起的时候 |
| [08:16] | Marshall doesn’t have porn. | 马修 他没有A片 |
| [08:17] | Aww, that’s sweet. | 真有趣 |
| [08:19] | While guys like Ted and Marshall may hide their porn, | 当像泰德还有马修还要 把A片藏起的时候 |
| [08:21] | I had mine… professionally lit. | 我把我的A片 展示出来 |
| [08:26] | Girls see this, they can’t get out of here fast enough. | 当那些女的看见这些的时候 只恨自己不能飞过去 |
| [08:29] | And if that doesn’t drive them away, | 如果这些还赶不走他们的话 |
| [08:30] | there’s always your life-sized storm-trooper. | 还有你的克隆人战士模型 |
| [08:33] | No, that’s just awesome. | 那不是用来吓人的 个人收藏 |
| [08:35] | So you see, whenever a girl wakes up here, | 正如你看见的 只要是女的在我这醒来 |
| [08:38] | I never have to tell her to go build her nest somewhere else. | 我从来都不用告诉她另筑爱巢 |
| [08:40] | My apartment does it for me. | 我的公寓已经告诉她了 |
| [08:43] | God, I love brunch. | 天啊 我最爱早午饭 |
| [08:45] | Oh, damn… | 爽啊 |
| [08:47] | the zucchini bread is “ridonculous.” | 这个南瓜真是太太太好吃了 |
| [08:50] | This isn’t weird, right? | 两个男人吃饭并不古怪 对吧? |
| [08:52] | I sort of thought it might be, | 我曾这么想过 |
| [08:53] | but it totally isn’t. | 但现在却不这么认为 |
| [08:55] | And B-T-dub, you totally did not oversell the eggs Benny. | 顺便问下 你没有怂恿巴尼? |
| [08:58] | Right? Right? | 是的? 有问题? |
| [08:59] | I mean, why can’t two single bros go out | 我是说 为什么我们两个难兄难弟 |
| [09:01] | and rock brunch Sunday morning-style? | 就不能想象今天一样去听摇滚 |
| [09:04] | Exactly. Thank you, that’s exactly what I’ve been saying. | 确实是 谢谢 这正是我想要说的 |
| [09:07] | This must be destiny. | 这就是命运 |
| [09:09] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么? |
| [09:10] | I have two tickets for Mamma Mia Friday night. | 我有两张周五晚上的 Mamma Mia (ABBA的歌曲) 的演出票 |
| [09:13] | You like Abba, right? | 你喜欢阿巴 是吗? （ABBA是一支瑞典的流行乐乐队） |
| [09:15] | What am I saying? Who doesn’t? | 我在说什么? 谁不是这样? |
| [09:16] | Anyway, I was gonna take Kara, but now it’s all you and me. | 不管怎么说 本来是要和卡洛一起去的 现在就剩你我 |
| [09:20] | We’re gonna do Broadway, bro style. What do you say? | 我们两个大男人去百老汇 你认为怎么样？ |
| [09:22] | Yeah! | 好! |
| [09:31] | Hey. Did the cold wake you? | 你被冻醒了? |
| [09:35] | No, I’ve just been watching you sleep. | 没有 我一直在看你睡觉 |
| [09:39] | Oh, did you try and take a shower? I’m sorry, I only have one clean towel. | 你想洗澡吗? 但是我只有一条毛巾 |
| [09:42] | I don’t buy into the myth that we need to shower every day. | 我从不买要天天洗澡这理论的帐 |
| [09:46] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:49] | I’d offer you some coffee, but I don’t have any, so you’re gonna have to… | 你想喝咖啡吗? 但是我这里没有了 想喝的话你得出去自己买 |
| [09:52] | I’m boycotting coffee. | 我抵制咖啡 |
| [09:53] | You may as well drink the tears of a Colombian peasant farmer. | 但你不妨喝喝那些哥伦比亚农民的血汗 |
| [09:56] | God, I love this place. | 上帝啊 我喜欢这里 |
| [09:59] | Good thing I don’t have a job | 还有个好消息 我没有工作 |
| [10:00] | because I could stay here all day. | 所以我可以整天整天的待在这里 |
| [10:04] | I think I left something on the bookshelf. | 我想我有什么东西忘在书架上了 |
| [10:07] | Whoops. Oh, no, oh, look. | 不要 看这些 |
| [10:10] | Oh, I’m disgusting. | 我太低级趣味了 |
| [10:13] | Wow, you’re open about your sexuality | 你从不隐瞒自己的欲望 |
| [10:16] | and that’s one of the reasons I love you. | 这也是我爱你的一个原因 |
| [10:19] | Did I just say that? | 我说我爱你了吗? |
| [10:21] | Oh, well, cat’s out of the bag. | 好吧 我向你表白吧 |
| [10:23] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [10:25] | Whoa, uh… Okay, beep, beep. Backing up, um… | 援兵 援兵 快来吧 |
| [10:29] | Hi, Barney. Oh… | 巴尼 |
| [10:32] | Oh, my God. Are you married? Is this your wife? | 哦 上帝啊 你结婚了? 这个是你老婆 |
| [10:35] | What? No. | 什么?不 |
| [10:37] | Yes! | 对! |
| [10:38] | – Yes? – Yes. | – 真的? – 真的! |
| [10:41] | You son of a bitch! | 狗娘养的! |
| [10:43] | I can’t believe I let you enter my sacred temple. | 难以置信 你亵渎了我心里最神圣的东西 |
| [10:46] | Come on, baby. Please, no. Oh, you don’t understand. | 嘿 别这样好不好 亲爱的 听我解释 |
| [10:50] | What have I done? This is the worst. How could you…? | 我作了什么? 太糟糕了 你怎么能 ? |
| [10:54] | You’re not going anywhere. | 你以后就住这吧 |
| [11:01] | Wow, that was close. | 终于落幕了 |
| [11:03] | That hippie chick wouldn’t leave. | 那个另类女人都不打算走了 |
| [11:05] | She was ready to squat here. | 她都准备住着了 |
| [11:07] | Well, she’d have to with your spring-loaded toilet seat, wouldn’t she? | 莫非她愿意忍受你的 弹簧座便器? |
| [11:11] | She was freakishly immune to everything in my apartment… | 她对我所在公寓里 做的一切都免疫 |
| [11:13] | except you. | 除了你 |
| [11:15] | You’re better than porn. | 你甚至好过那些A片 |
| [11:18] | Thank you. | 多谢夸奖 |
| [11:19] | How would you like to extend your stay here? | 你想继续住在我这吗? |
| [11:22] | All you’d have to do is pretend to be my wife, | 你所做的只是 假装你是我妻子 |
| [11:25] | and scare off the occasional one-night stand. | 吓走我的那些一夜情 |
| [11:26] | I know, I know. You’ve got your ethics. You’ve got your principles… | 我知道 我知道 你有你的道德底线还有原则 |
| [11:29] | I’ll do it. | 好啊 我愿意 |
| [11:30] | Really? | 真的? |
| [11:31] | Barney, you’ve clearly got some serious mother issues | 巴尼 你的母亲的诸多问题让你 |
| [11:35] | that have left you the emotional equivalent of a scavenging sewer rat. | 感情空虚的如同一只耗子 |
| [11:40] | But, in my other apartment, I would be living | 但是 在我的公寓里 我要… |
| [11:42] | with an actual scavenging sewer rat, so you win. | 一只真正的耗子生活 所以我留下 |
| [11:46] | I’ll take it. | 我接受 |
| [11:48] | – Mamma Mia? – Mamma Mia? – Mamma Mia? – Mamma Mia. | |
| [11:51] | You know what? It’s supposed to be a great musical, okay? | 你知道什么 这个可是个经典歌舞剧 |
| [11:54] | It won all sorts of Tonys and stuff. | 他赢了托尼奖的所有奖项 |
| [11:56] | No, totally. It sounds like a really, really fun, exciting, third date. | 总之这听起来就象 令人激动 第三次约会 |
| [12:00] | Ooh, third date. You know what that means. | 第三次约会 你知道这个意味着什么吗? |
| [12:04] | It is not a date, okay. | 老大们 服你了 这个不是约会 |
| [12:05] | It’s just two bros taking in a Broadway show. | 兄弟两个去看百老汇有问题? |
| [12:08] | You bros going to get dinner beforehand? | 你们两个在看表演之前 吃饭吗? |
| [12:10] | We might grab a steak, yeah. | 说不定我们去吃点牛排 |
| [12:12] | Where at? | 在那吃? |
| [12:15] | Cafe L’Amour. | 爱情咖啡馆 |
| [12:17] | Brad says the food is really good there, okay. | 布莱德说那的东西好吃! 好不好 |
| [12:21] | Sounds like Brad’s got quite the night planned out. | 听起来 布莱德安排好了一切了 |
| [12:23] | You better bring your “A” game. | 你最好准备个A计划 |
| [12:25] | That means no granny panties. | 穿性感内裤 |
| [12:27] | All right, you know what? You two are just threatened | 好吧 你们知道吗 你们俩感到有危险 |
| [12:29] | because I’m a single guy moving in on your couples’ turf. | 就是因为我是个出现 在你们当中的灯泡? |
| [12:32] | Well, guess what? It’s my territory now. | 好吧 告诉你们 这是我自己的事情 |
| [12:35] | I’m peeing all over brunches, fancy dinners and musicals. | 我在早午饭已经计划好了 丰盛的晚餐 还有 精彩的音乐剧 |
| [12:38] | That’s right; Brad and I are taking back Broadway. | 没错 我和布莱德不去百老汇了 |
| [12:42] | What are you going to wear? | 你打算穿什么? |
| [12:43] | I was thinking like this collared shirt and these pin… | 我是这样打算的 有领的T恤还有条纹西装 |
| [12:45] | Oh, you know what? Shut up. | 你知道什么 闭嘴 |
| [12:48] | Can you pass the Arts and Leisure? | 能把报纸的娱乐版递给我吗? |
| [12:57] | Can you pass the Arts and Leisure? | 能把报纸的娱乐版递给我吗? |
| [12:59] | I just did. | 我才递给你的? |
| [13:01] | Honey, I’m… | 亲爱的 我 |
| [13:03] | Barney, what the hell is going on here? | 巴尼 这发生什么? |
| [13:07] | Lily, I can explain… | 莉莉 听我解释 |
| [13:08] | How could you? In our own home? | 你怎么 在家里! |
| [13:11] | You bastard! | 你这杂种! |
| [13:12] | – I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he had… – Just get out. | – 对不起 我不知道他 – 滚出去 |
| [13:15] | This is what I get after I worked as a stripper for four years | 这就是我为了这个家庭 跳了四年脱衣舞 |
| [13:19] | to put you through medical school? | 让你去上医学院所得的回报 |
| [13:21] | I got breast implants for you. | 我还为你隆胸 |
| [13:23] | I… I was just about to turn on the tears. | 我 我还准备掉几滴眼泪呢 |
| [13:28] | Brava. | 你演得太精彩了 |
| [13:30] | That was incredible. | 简直难以置信 |
| [13:32] | And that slap was genius. You did not hold back. | 而且那记耳光也是如假包换 你一点也没留情 |
| [13:35] | Yeah, that I just always wanted to do. | 是 那是我一直想做的 |
| [13:38] | Fair enough. | 那我们都扯平了 |
| [13:40] | I have to say, | 我不得不说 |
| [13:41] | it’s kind of nice having food around here for a change. | 有时候在这里吃东西感觉不错 |
| [13:44] | You know… | 你知道 |
| [13:45] | nah, never mind. | 算了 |
| [13:47] | What? | 说吧 什么? |
| [13:48] | You’re my wife. You can tell me anything. | 你是我妻子 你不用顾忌什么 |
| [13:50] | Well, if you really wanted to sell this ruse, | 如果你真的希望 别人都上你的当的话 |
| [13:53] | we should try to make this place a little more… | 你应该试图把这里变得… |
| [13:56] | you know, homey. | 你知道 家的感觉 |
| [13:57] | Like-like a woman would actually live here. | 就像是真的有个女人住这 |
| [14:00] | What did you have in mind? | 你怎么打算? |
| [14:38] | Hey, you’re home. | 你回来了啊 |
| [14:39] | I didn’t think we’d be seeing you until tomorrow morning. | 我们以为你要明早才回来 |
| [14:41] | Ha, ha, ha, ha. It wasn’t a date. | 哈哈 这又不是约会 |
| [14:46] | Okay, it was a date and it got way weird. | 即使是约会 也是个奇怪的约会 |
| [14:51] | Oh, you really don’t have to do that. | 你不用这么客气 |
| [14:53] | No, I insist. You’re my guest. | 不 这次我请 你是我的客人 |
| [14:56] | Thanks, Brad. | 谢谢你 布莱德 |
| [14:58] | Bro, | 兄弟 |
| [15:00] | you got some chocolate on your chin. | 巧克力吃到你脸上了 |
| [15:05] | Still there. | 没擦掉 |
| [15:06] | I’ll get that bad boy. | 我来吧 傻男孩 |
| [15:12] | Whoa. | 哇～ |
| [15:13] | Well, it could have been worse. | 这还会更糟 |
| [15:15] | It could have fallen in your lap. | 难说弄到你嘴里了 |
| [15:19] | It gets worse. | 越来越糟 |
| [15:20] | No, I-I can do it, Brad. Okay, thank you. | 不 不用 我可以自己搞定 谢谢 布莱德 |
| [15:25] | So anyway, ah, it’s this Saturday. | 不管怎么样 这个周六… |
| [15:27] | Do you want to come? | 你想来嘛? |
| [15:30] | You want me to go to a wedding with you? | 你想让我和你一起去参加婚礼? |
| [15:33] | Okay, that’s not too bad. | 还好啊 不是太糟 |
| [15:35] | Two single guys on the prowl. It’ll be like Wedding Crashers. | 两个单身男人在婚礼上四处游荡 有点不速之客的感觉 |
| [15:38] | Just keep Brad away from the bouquet. | 不要让布莱德接到花束就好 |
| [15:43] | It gets worse. | 比这还要糟 |
| [15:45] | It gets better. | 看起来好多了 |
| [15:46] | The foliage in Vermont this time of year is ridonc. | 这时候的佛蒙特州风景特别好 |
| [15:49] | Vermont? | 佛蒙特州? |
| [15:50] | Yeah, the wedding’s at this awesome B&B. | 是啊 婚礼在一家B&B(床和早餐)饭店举行 |
| [15:53] | Kara and I used to go there. | 卡莱和我以前经常去那 |
| [15:55] | Anyway, there is one room left, and we got it. | 不管怎么说我弄到最后一间屋子 |
| [15:58] | Walt Whitman Suite, bro. | 是不是有点惠特曼的风格(此人是个双性恋) |
| [16:04] | You said no, right? | 你拒绝了 是吗? |
| [16:06] | Of course. | 当然 |
| [16:07] | I understand. | 我知道 |
| [16:09] | It’s cool. | 是有点酷 |
| [16:10] | It’s the first time I was going to see my college friends | 这是自从卡莱离开之后 |
| [16:13] | since Kara left me. | 我第一次去见我大学同学 |
| [16:15] | I just… | 我只是 |
| [16:18] | I just miss her so much. | 太想她了 |
| [16:24] | I’ll go to Vermont with you. | 我和你去吧 |
| [16:27] | That’s great! | 太好了! |
| [16:29] | You know, uh, they’re registered at Pottery Barn. | 你知道吗? 他们已经在陶吧注册了 |
| [16:31] | I figure we could go halfsies on a gravy boat. | 我们俩可以手把手的做个陶罐 |
| [16:38] | I’m sorry. It’s not funny anymore. | 对不起 现在就不再好笑了 |
| [16:41] | Damn you, brunch! | 都是早午餐惹得祸! |
| [16:44] | This guy’s crazy, right? | 这家伙疯了 是吗? |
| [16:46] | Look, I don’t think he’s crazy. | 我不认为他疯了 |
| [16:48] | I just think he’s suffering from a severe case of girlfriend withdrawal. | 我只是认为他倍受失恋的打击 |
| [16:51] | And unfortunately, you’re his nicotine patch. | 不幸的是 你成为他的精神寄托了 |
| [16:54] | And now you have to do what every dysfunctional couple has to do: | 在这段畸形爱恋里 你现在唯一能做的就是 |
| [16:58] | break up. | 分手 |
| [16:59] | You’re right. You’re right. I promised Brad | 你们是对的 太对了 但是我答应他 |
| [17:01] | I would go to the wedding with him, and then that is it. | 我会陪他一起去的 就这么定了 |
| [17:03] | Good man. | 大好人 |
| [17:05] | Oh, I think we made the right decision | 我认为我们的决定是正确的 |
| [17:08] | going for the custom-made Italian sheets. | 意大利的全棉床上用品 |
| [17:10] | Hey, if my bed’s going suit up, it’s going to do it right. | 要是我的床也能穿西装的话 那就好了 |
| [17:14] | Want to give it a whirl? | 不想出去走走? |
| [17:20] | All right, I’m going to head out, hit the bars. | 好吧 我要出去了 去酒吧转转 |
| [17:22] | What are you going to do tonight? | 你今晚做什么? |
| [17:24] | Oh, I was just going to watch Letterman but, God this bed is so comfy. | 我本来想看电视剧的 但是 上帝啊 你的床太舒服了 |
| [17:28] | I wish you had a TV in here. | 你要是在卧室有个电视就好了 |
| [17:35] | Okay, seriously, what do you do for a living? | 说正经的 你的钱怎么来的啊 |
| [17:38] | Please. | 无可奉告 |
| [17:42] | I thought you were going out. | 我以为你要出去了 |
| [17:44] | Eh. | 恩 |
| [17:45] | After the monologue. | 这段独白之后 |
| [17:48] | The next morning, as the sun rose over Manhattan, | 第二天早晨 当阳光开始亲吻曼哈顿时 |
| [17:50] | your Uncle Marshall headed over to Brad’s apartment | 你马修叔叔直奔布莱德的公寓去 |
| [17:53] | to leave for the wedding in Vermont. | 为了参加在佛蒙特州举行的婚礼 |
| [17:55] | But when he got there… | 但是 当他到那的时候 |
| [17:56] | No. | 不 |
| [17:58] | No… | 不要 |
| [18:01] | No. | 不 |
| [18:03] | No! | 天啊! |
| [18:05] | No. | 怎么会这样 |
| [18:12] | Ted. | 泰德 |
| [18:13] | Um, Brad got me flowers. | 布莱德为我准备了一束花 |
| [18:16] | Hold on. | 等等 |
| [18:17] | Brad got him flowers. | 布莱德为他准备了一束花 |
| [18:20] | I’m sorry. It just got funny again. | 不好意思 怎么这么搞笑啊 |
| [18:26] | – Oh, hey… – No, Brad, uh, I don’t want to hear it. | – 嘿 – 等等 你先听我说 |
| [18:28] | I do like you. And calla lilies are my favorite flower. | 我是跟你关系不错 海芋百合也是我最喜欢的花 |
| [18:32] | I don’t know how you knew that. I guess you just get me, | 我不知道你是怎么知道的 我猜你了解我 |
| [18:34] | but this is not cool, man. I can’t believe that you would… | 这样并不酷 我简直不能相信你 |
| [18:37] | – Hey, sweetie. – Hey. | – 甜心 |
| [18:44] | – Hey, Marshall. – Hi, Kara. | – 马修 你好啊 – 你好 卡莱 |
| [18:47] | So you guys, are like, back together now? | 这样 你们 看上去破镜重圆了? |
| [18:49] | Yeah. Happened last night. | 是啊 就在昨晚 |
| [18:54] | Uh, I’m sorry, bro. | 不好意思 兄弟 |
| [18:56] | – I should have called you. – Yeah, you should have. | – 我应该打电话告诉你的 – 是的 你该打电话告诉我 |
| [18:58] | – Well, I didn’t mean to hurt… – Don’t, Brad. | – 我不是有意的 – 没事 布莱德 |
| [19:03] | Just don’t. | 不需要 |
| [19:10] | Oh, what was with him? | 他怎么了? |
| [19:13] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [19:15] | I think he’s in love with me. | 我想他爱上我了 |
| [19:29] | I can’t believe we just… you and I… | 简直难以致信 我和你 |
| [19:32] | – what have we done? – Nothing. | – 我们都作什么了? – 没什么 |
| [19:34] | Nothing happened. We-we just went to sleep. | 什么都没有发生 我们只是睡着了 |
| [19:37] | Just went to sleep? I don’t sleep in the same bed as a woman | 仅仅睡着了? 我从来都不睡在这样的床上 一个女士床 |
| [19:40] | and not make a move. | 更不可能在睡觉的时候不动 |
| [19:42] | How could… You. | 这怎么可能 你… |
| [19:45] | You spooned me against my will. | 你肯定非礼了我 |
| [19:48] | Hey, it takes two to cuddle. | 但一个巴掌拍不响的 |
| [19:50] | We… | 我们 |
| [19:53] | We… | 我们 |
| [19:54] | We redecorated my place. | 我们重新布置了我的房子 |
| [19:57] | We stayed in on a Friday night to watch Letterman, | 我们周五晚上在一起看电视 |
| [20:01] | and then slept together and didn’t have sex? | 睡在一起 居然没有发生性关系 |
| [20:04] | Oh, my God, we’re in a relationship. | 我的上帝啊 我们是恋爱关系 |
| [20:07] | That’s what you think a relationship is? | 这就是你所谓的恋爱关系? |
| [20:10] | You were supposed to be the vaccine, | 我原本以为你有免疫力 |
| [20:12] | but you gave me the disease. You gotta go. | 但是你把爱情病传染给了我 你必须得走了 |
| [20:16] | Barney. | 巴尼 |
| [20:18] | I don’t think you’re mad at me. You’re mad at yourself. | 我不认为是在对我生气 你是在对自己生气 |
| [20:22] | You let down your guard, and let someone into your life, | 你放下戒备 让别人能进入你的生活 |
| [20:25] | and-and it actually felt okay. | 事实上这种感觉会很好 |
| [20:29] | And that terrifies you. | 但却吓到了你 |
| [20:32] | Uh-huh. You gotta go. | 你得走 |
| [20:35] | Hey, you can’t just kick me out! I put a lot of work into this place, | 你怎么能叫我扫地出门? 我在这可是花了不少精力 |
| [20:38] | and I’ve grown accustomed to a certain standard of living. | 还有我开始习惯这种生活 |
| [20:41] | A certain standard of living? You didn’t pay a single… | 这种生活? 你什么都没有付出! |
| [20:44] | And so Mr. and Mrs. Stinson, after two weeks of marriage, | 就这样在两周的婚姻生活后 |
| [20:47] | decided to call it quits. | 史蒂森夫妇 决定叫停 |
| [20:49] | Fortunately, they reached a settlement. | 幸运的是他们达成了个协议 |
| [20:51] | And that’s the story of how Aunt Lily furnished her apartment. | 这就是你的关于你的莉莉婶婶 如何装饰她公寓的故事 |
| [20:58] | Marshall ran into Brad again some time later. | 几天之后马修又遇见了布莱德 |
| [21:01] | Oh, my God, it’s Brad. | 上帝啊 布莱德 |
| [21:03] | Laugh like I said something really funny. | 快笑 就当我说了什么笑话 |
| [21:05] | Right, right. | 是吗 是吗 |
| [21:07] | Hey, Marshall. | 你好 马修 |
| [21:07] | Oh, hey, hey, how’s it going? | 好 最近怎么样啊? |
| [21:09] | It’s good. | 不错 |
| [21:10] | – Hey, I’m, uh… – Yeah, I know who you are. | – 你好 我是 – 你好 我知道你是谁 |
| [21:14] | Well, I got to go. I got this thing. | 好吧 我得走了 我有些事要办 |
| [21:16] | Yeah, me too, but more important. | 我也有重要的事要办 |
| [21:18] | So, I guess I’ll see you around. | 那么我们改天见啦 |
| [21:20] | Sure. Sure. | 好啊 好啊 |
| [21:26] | Even if you don’t believe it, tell me he looks fat. | 即使你没觉得 你也要跟我说 他变胖了 |
| [21:28] | Totally looks fat. | 一点不假 是变胖了 |