| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:09] | – So, I guess that decides it. – Yup. | – 我想 可以看出来了 -不错 |
| [00:11] | Hanging out at a coffee place | 在咖啡屋待着 |
| [00:13] | is not nearly as much fun as hanging out at a bar. | 确实没有泡酒吧来得有趣 |
| [00:18] | Man, what’s that? | 伙计 那是什么 |
| [00:19] | What? | 哪个？ |
| [00:21] | That cute coffee girl wrote a heart by your name. | 那个卖咖啡的漂亮女孩 在你名字旁边画了颗心 |
| [00:25] | Somebody has a crush on you. | 有人对你有意思 |
| [00:27] | Somebody thinks you’re me. | 有人把你当成了我 |
| [00:31] | Do you really think she likes me? | 你们真的认为她喜欢我? |
| [00:33] | I mean, I guess it’s not that surprising. | 我是说 那也不用大惊小怪 |
| [00:35] | Every time I come in here, I totally crack her up. | 每次我来这里 总能让她开怀大笑 |
| [00:37] | Marshall, here’s your pumpkin latte. | 三周前 |
| [00:38] | Wow. How did you fit a pumpkin in this little cup? | 马修 你的南瓜拿铁咖啡 |
| [00:39] | I’ll have a pumpkin latte. | 你是怎么把南瓜放进 这么个小杯子? |
| [00:45] | How do they even fit a pumpkin in those little cups? | -八天前 -给我来一杯南瓜拿铁咖啡 |
| [00:47] | What? You got a shrink ray back there? | 他们怎么能刚好把南瓜 放进这些小杯子？ |
| [00:49] | Yeah. | 什么? 你们有个收缩激光吗 |
| [00:54] | Hey, remember that time I said that thing | -昨天 -还记得吗？ |
| [00:56] | about how do they fit a pumpkin into that little cup? | 那次我说的把南瓜放进杯子里的事? |
| [00:59] | – Which time? – The first time. | – 哪一次 – 第一次 |
| [01:01] | Yeah. That was really funny. | 当然记得 很搞笑 |
| [01:04] | Right. | 是的 |
| [01:05] | All right, there’s only two reasons she’d laugh at that. | 她觉得好笑只有两个原因 |
| [01:07] | One, it’s the first joke she’s ever heard, | 那是她这辈子听过的第一个笑话 |
| [01:09] | or two, she likes you. You should totally ask her out. | 或者 她喜欢你 你应该约她出来 |
| [01:12] | You think? | 你真这么想 |
| [01:13] | Yeah, that why you’re not back with Lily, right? | 你不和莉莉破镜重圆 不就是为了这个? |
| [01:14] | So you can experience what it’s like to be single. | 这样才能体会到单身的乐趣 |
| [01:18] | Well, what if the heart doesn’t mean anything? | 如果这颗心没有任何含意怎么办? |
| [01:19] | What if she writes it on all the cups? | 也许她在所有杯子上都画了呢 |
| [01:21] | Mine says “Ted,” no heart. | 我这杯就写了泰德 没有心 |
| [01:23] | Mine says… “Swarley.” | 这杯写的…斯华利 |
| [01:27] | How’d they get “Swarley” from “Barney”? | 他们怎么能把巴尼弄成了斯华利 |
| [01:29] | It’s not even a name. | 这都不算是名字 |
| [01:30] | Who would ever be called “Swarley”? | 有谁会叫做斯华利? |
| [01:35] | Oh, please don’t start calling me “Swarley.” | 别叫我斯华利 |
| [01:39] | This would never happen at a bar! | 酒吧里决不会发生这种事情 |
| [01:44] | Man! What’s up with Swarley? | 老兄 斯华利怎么了 |
| [01:46] | I know. You almost never see old Swarlz get that upset. | 你从没见过老斯华利那么烦燥吧 |
| [02:05] | Hey, guess what? | 知道吗? |
| [02:06] | Oh, sorry. | 对不起 |
| [02:07] | It’s only my mom. | 是我妈妈 |
| [02:08] | She’s just rambling on like always. | 她只是像往常一样滔滔不绝 |
| [02:11] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
| [02:12] | Marshall asked out a girl. | 马修有约会了 |
| [02:15] | Wow. Well, if anything, that’s Dad’s fault. | 是的 都是爸爸的错 |
| [02:17] | That’ll keep her going a while. | 这样可以让她说上一阵子了 |
| [02:19] | Oh, of course, you know, he had a little help. | 当然是这样 你知道吗 有人帮了他一把 |
| [02:21] | Swarley hooked him up? | 斯华利 帮他? |
| [02:22] | Oh, good. You got my text. | 你抢了我的台词 |
| [02:23] | – Yeah. – Oh. No, it was me. | – 是的 – 事实上是我帮了他一把 |
| [02:25] | I gave Marshall one of my secrets. | 我传授给马修一个诀窍 |
| [02:28] | – So, what she say? – Nothing. | – 她怎么说 – 什么也没说 |
| [02:30] | I don’t think she heard me. It’s pretty busy up there. | 她肯定没听见我的话 她那么忙 |
| [02:33] | What? You gave her the look right? | 什么?你摆对姿势了? |
| [02:35] | Head down, eyes looking up, | 低垂着头 眼睛向上 |
| [02:37] | hands in pockets, shoulders up, | 手插在口袋里 耸耸肩 |
| [02:39] | head slightly tilted, conveying shy vulnerability. | 再微微抬起头 含情脉脉 欲言又止 |
| [02:43] | I think so. | 应该是吧 |
| [02:50] | Look, can we just go? | 我们还是走吧 |
| [02:52] | Pumpkin latte for Marshall. | 马修的南瓜拿铁咖啡 |
| [02:56] | I didn’t order that. | 我没点那个 |
| [03:04] | Phone number. | 电话号码 |
| [03:07] | I love that look. | 我喜欢那个形象 |
| [03:09] | I think I slept with you because of that look. | 我跟你在一起 就是因为你害羞的样子 |
| [03:12] | And it’s fake? | 难道那是装出来的? |
| [03:13] | Oh, and you biting your lower lip, shyly looking away | 那你咬着嘴唇 羞涩转身 |
| [03:15] | and thrusting your chest out is natural? | 再用力挺起胸 那不是装的? |
| [03:18] | Yeah, I hear you. | 你说对了 |
| [03:22] | – Hey! – Hey, guys. Are you free tomorrow night? | 明晚有空吗 |
| [03:24] | I was thinking of having a wine tasting slash | 我想开个品酒会 |
| [03:26] | “help me catch the rat in my apartment” party. | 一个’公寓捕鼠记’的聚会 |
| [03:29] | That’s a great idea. You can put out cheese for both. | 真是好主意 你可以让人和鼠共享奶酪 |
| [03:32] | I should invite Marshall, right? | 我该邀请马修 对不对? |
| [03:34] | It’d be weird if I didn’t. | 如果我不请他会显得太小器 |
| [03:36] | Yeah, I don’t think he can go. | 是的 不过我想他去不了 |
| [03:38] | Really? Why not? | 是吗 为什么? |
| [03:39] | Uh, okay, um… | 是这样 |
| [03:42] | Lily, we have to tell you something. | 莉莉 有些事得跟你说 |
| [03:44] | Marshall has a date. | 马修已经佳人有约了 |
| [03:46] | Oh. Well… good for him. | 恭喜他 |
| [03:49] | Really? You’re okay with it? | 当真? 你不介意? |
| [03:51] | Look, we’ve been broken up almost six months. | 我们半年前就分手了 |
| [03:53] | I mean, I’m not thrilled about the idea, | 我是说…我不会为此欢呼 |
| [03:55] | but he has every right to date someone else. | 不过他当然有权利跟人约会 |
| [03:58] | That’s very mature. | 非常理智 |
| [04:00] | Why are you holding the phone? | 你干嘛总拿着电话 |
| [04:02] | Oh, shoot. | 说的是 |
| [04:04] | That’s hilarious, Mom. | 真开心 妈妈 |
| [04:07] | Didn’t even notice. | 她完全没在意 |
| [04:11] | Hey, dude, by the way, I really like that suit. | 伙计 我喜欢那身衣服 |
| [04:13] | Tell me about the fabric. Is it foreign or something? | 是什么面料的 进口货吗 |
| [04:16] | Wow. It is foreign. I’m impressed, Ted. | 是进口货 你很识货呀 泰德 |
| [04:19] | – It’s Moroccan, actually. – Whoa. | 事实上是摩洛哥生产的 |
| [04:20] | I got a call for Swarley. | 斯华利 电话 |
| [04:23] | Is there a Swarley here? | 斯华利在吗 |
| [04:25] | You weren’t interested in my suit at all, were you? | 你其实对我的衣服 不感兴趣是不是? |
| [04:27] | – Hmm? – Swarley! | 斯华利? |
| [04:30] | Yeah, I know he’s there. It’s really important. | 是的 我知道他在这里 很重要 |
| [04:33] | Could you ask again? | 你能再问一遍吗? |
| [04:35] | Important call for Swarley! | 斯华利的重要电话 |
| [04:37] | Geez, can’t you hear him, Swarley? There’s a call for you. | 上帝 你听不见吗 斯华利? 有你的电话 |
| [04:39] | Stop calling me that. | 别再那么叫我 |
| [04:42] | Uh… Hey, I’d like you guys to officially meet Chloe. | 让我正式介绍 克洛伊 |
| [04:46] | – Hi. – Hi. Hi. It’s nice to meet you guys. | 很高兴认识你们 |
| [04:48] | – I’ll be right back. – It’s right back there. | -我就回来 -在那边 |
| [04:54] | Right? Right? She’s hot! | -怎么样 -怎样? 她很性感 |
| [04:57] | And she likes me? | 我们很相似 |
| [04:58] | She likes Italian food. I also like Italian food. | 她喜欢意大利食品 我也喜欢 |
| [05:02] | She likes Billy Joel. I also like… music. | 她喜欢比利·乔 我也喜欢…音乐 (流行乐坛巨星) |
| [05:05] | And I think we’re going to go out again. | 我们还会再约会的 |
| [05:08] | – Dude, you gotta ditch her. – Obviously. | – 你要离她远点儿 – 显而易见 |
| [05:11] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [05:12] | She’s got the crazy eyes. | 她有一双疯眼 |
| [05:13] | Dude. The eyes. | 老兄 她的眼睛 |
| [05:15] | They’re crazy. | 它们很不正常 |
| [05:17] | What are you guys talking about, the crazy eyes? | 你们到底在说什么疯眼? |
| [05:19] | It’s a well-documented condition of the pupils, or pupi. | 那是对瞳孔状况的书面描述 |
| [05:23] | No. Just pupils. | 不 就是瞳孔 |
| [05:24] | It’s an indicator of future mental instability. | 它预示着精神状况的不稳定 |
| [05:28] | She does not have the crazy eyes. | 她才没有什么疯眼 |
| [05:31] | You just can’t see it | 你看不见 |
| [05:32] | because you’re afflicted with “haven’t been laid in a while” blindness. | 是因为你已经被激情蒙住了双眼 |
| [05:35] | She was too far away in the coffee place, | 在咖啡店她离得太远 |
| [05:37] | but when I saw her up close just now… | 但刚才近距离观察 |
| [05:40] | Hey, I’d like you guys to officially meet Chloe. | 让我正式介绍克洛伊 |
| [05:44] | – Hi. – Hi. Hi. It’s nice to meet you guys. | 很高兴认识你们 |
| [05:51] | You guys, I’m not going to stop dating Chloe | 告诉你们 我不会因为你们这么说 |
| [05:53] | just because you think she has the crazy eyes. | 就不再跟她约会 |
| [05:55] | You can keep going out with her, but you’re gonna regret it. | 你当然可以继续约她 不过你很快就会后悔的 |
| [05:58] | One time, I met a girl at this very bar. | 有一次 就在这个酒吧 我碰上一个女孩 |
| [06:00] | I saw that she had the crazy eyes… | 我发现她有疯眼… |
| [06:05] | …but I ignored it. | 但我没在意… |
| [06:06] | And then, sure enough. | 毫无疑问 |
| [06:09] | Barney, can I ask you a question? | 巴尼 能问你个问题? |
| [06:11] | Anything. | 当然可以 |
| [06:13] | Would you like to have a threesome? | 来次3P怎么样? |
| [06:16] | Of course. | 没问题 |
| [06:18] | Great. It’ll be you, me and Mr. Weasels. | 好极了 就你 我还有鼬鼠先生 |
| [06:23] | So, did you do it? | 你真那么干了? |
| [06:24] | No. It ended up being just a twosome | 不 最后还是双人游戏 |
| [06:27] | with the third one watching from a chair. | 第三个在椅子上旁观 |
| [06:29] | Which one were you? | 那你是哪一个 |
| [06:32] | I’d rather not say. | 我看最好别说这个 |
| [06:34] | Look, there was a time I didn’t believe in the crazy eyes either, | 有一段时间我也不相信疯眼一说 |
| [06:37] | and then I met Jeanine. | 直到我遇到了珍宁 |
| [06:39] | She had serious crazy eyes. | 她的疯眼非常严重 |
| [06:42] | I told myself I was just imagining it, but then… | 我告诉自己 那只是我的想象 但… |
| [06:45] | So, should we go get a drink? | 我们去喝一杯如何 |
| [06:47] | As long as it’s in your apartment. | 去你的公寓 喝多久都行 |
| [06:51] | Whoa, I’m sorry. | 哦 对不起 |
| [06:52] | Watch! Where! You’re! Going! | 当心点 看你怎么开车的 |
| [06:58] | So, where do you live? | 那么 你住哪儿 |
| [07:01] | You guys, Chloe is not gonna do any of that stuff. | 克洛伊才不会做那种事情 |
| [07:04] | She’s a nice girl from Nebraska. | 她是内布拉斯加州的可爱女生 |
| [07:06] | She’s not crazy. | 又不是疯子 |
| [07:07] | She’s… she’s awesome. | 她…她很迷人 |
| [07:09] | But you can’t avoid the crazy eyes forever. | 但你不能永远回避 那双疯狂的眼睛 |
| [07:12] | Sooner or later, the crazy comes bubbling to the surface. | 疯狂的本性迟早会浮出水面 |
| [07:15] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [07:15] | Marshall, it’s Chloe. | 马修 我是克洛伊 |
| [07:17] | Are you the one who’s called me like nine times? | 你一连给我打了九次电话? |
| [07:20] | Yeah. Could you come get me? | 是 你能来接我吗 |
| [07:22] | I’m in the middle of taking a test. | 可我正在考试 |
| [07:24] | Please. I’m so scared. | 求你了 我很害怕 |
| [07:26] | Well, what’s going on? | 到底怎么了 |
| [07:28] | This weird midget guy started following me | 有个奇怪的侏儒一直跟着我 |
| [07:30] | and he was screaming at me | 还朝我尖叫 |
| [07:31] | and he had a limp and a big hump on his back | 他跛着脚 还是个跎背 |
| [07:33] | and the police didn’t believe me | 警察都不相信我 |
| [07:35] | and I almost got trampled by a horse and… | 我还差点儿伤在马蹄下 还有… |
| [07:38] | God I must sound totally crazy to you right now. | 天哪 你一定认为我疯了 |
| [07:41] | No. Pfft. | 不 |
| [07:43] | Not at all. | 当然不会 |
| [07:45] | So, she’s needy crazy. | 她是极端的疯狂 |
| [07:47] | That’s one of the worst kinds. | 那是最糟糕的状况 |
| [07:49] | I’ve had one of those. | 我也遇到过那样小妞 |
| [07:50] | Makes up stories to get attention. | 为了引人注目 编造各种故事 |
| [07:52] | Went out with her for three weeks– her dad died twice. | 跟她出门三周 她爸爸可以死两次 |
| [07:55] | Guys, she was really freaked out, okay? | 她是真的吓坏了 |
| [07:58] | Maybe the story is true. | 也许故事是真的 |
| [08:00] | What in the world would make you believe that’s a true story? | 究竟什么能让你 相信那是个真实的故事 |
| [08:02] | She’s really hot. | 她真的很性感 |
| [08:05] | They always are. | 她们总是这样 |
| [08:08] | – You all done with that, Ted? – Yeah. | – 喝完了吗 泰德? – 是的 |
| [08:10] | Ned. I told you to call him Ned. | 内德 我说过叫他内德 |
| [08:13] | That’s just sad. | 真可惜 |
| [08:15] | Sorry, Swarley. | 对不起 斯华利 |
| [08:18] | So, do just you and Ted live here | 就你和泰德住在这里 |
| [08:20] | or does Swarley live here, too? | 还是斯华利也住这儿 |
| [08:22] | Nah. Swarley has his own place. | 不 斯华利有自己的地方 |
| [08:28] | What was that? | 怎么了 |
| [08:29] | Oh, I, uh, dropped my keys. | 我刚放下钥匙 |
| [08:33] | So, here you go. | 来了 |
| [08:35] | Two pumpkin beers. | 两杯南瓜啤酒 |
| [08:38] | I was joking. They’re regular beers. | 开个玩笑 只是普通啤酒 |
| [08:43] | What is that? | 那是什么 |
| [08:52] | This picture is broken. | 照框打破了 |
| [08:54] | Oh. That’s too bad. | 真糟糕 |
| [08:57] | Is that Lily? | 那就是莉莉? |
| [08:58] | Is that the girl you were going to marry? | 那个你差点娶过门的女孩? |
| [09:01] | Yeah. Is that what that sound was? | 是的 刚才的响声就是这个? |
| [09:03] | Did you just smash this? | 你摔的? |
| [09:05] | No. | 当然不是 |
| [09:06] | Why would I do that? | 我为什么要摔它 |
| [09:10] | Let me look into your eyes. | 让我看看你的眼睛 |
| [09:13] | Okay. | 没问题 |
| [09:17] | I had a really nice time tonight. | 我今晚非常开心 |
| [09:20] | Yeah, me, too. Stop blinking. | 我也是 别眨眼 |
| [09:22] | I like your eyes a lot, too. | 我也很喜欢你的眼睛 |
| [09:28] | S top! | 停止 |
| [09:33] | Hi. I’m Lily. | 我是莉莉 |
| [09:39] | Stop! | 停止 |
| [09:41] | Now, kids, I know Lily hiding in the apartment | 现在孩子们 我知道 当马修和一个看起很疯狂的女孩约会时 |
| [09:43] | while Marshall was on a date with another girl seems pretty crazy, | 莉莉正躲在屋子里 |
| [09:46] | but when you hear her side of the story, | 但是听听莉莉的故事 |
| [09:49] | well, it’s still pretty crazy | 那同样也很疯狂 |
| [09:51] | 三天前 | |
| [09:52] | What’s up Swarlz? | 斯华利 你怎么样 |
| [09:53] | No. Okay? No. No more. | 别叫了 好吗 别再那么叫了 |
| [09:55] | I will not let this become a thing. It’s over. | 我不能再让你们那么叫我 就此打住 |
| [09:57] | No more Swarley. No Swarlz. | 再没什么斯华利 也没有斯华兹 |
| [09:59] | No more Swar-lay. | 别再叫斯华利 |
| [10:02] | No more Swar… wait for it… ley. | 听好了 没有什么斯华利 |
| [10:05] | No more Bob Swarley, mon. | 没有 鲍勃·斯华利 |
| [10:07] | No more. No! It’s over. | 停止吧 到此为止 |
| [10:10] | Do you understand? | 你们的明白? |
| [10:12] | – Yes. – Yes. | 知道了 |
| [10:13] | Thank you. | 多谢 |
| [10:17] | Nice. | 好极了 |
| [10:18] | – Why didn’t you call me? – Was I supposed to call you? | -你为什么不给我打电话 -我该给你打吗 |
| [10:20] | Yes, about the whole Marshall- dating-another-girl thing. | 当然了 告诉我马修 和别的女人约会的事 |
| [10:23] | You said you were fine with it. | 你说你不介意的 |
| [10:24] | Yeah, in front of Ted, but then I shot you a look. | 在泰德面前 我当然要那么说 可我给你使了眼色… |
| [10:27] | – What look? – This. | 什么眼色 像这样… |
| [10:32] | That doesn’t seem like a look. | 那不像是使眼色 |
| [10:33] | Yes it is. It means, “I’m upset call me later.” | 那就是 意思是 我很难过 给我打电话 |
| [10:36] | You should have pulled me aside and told me what the look meant. | 你该把我拉到一边 跟我说说那个眼色的含义 |
| [10:38] | If I pulled you aside, I wouldn’t need the look. | 如果能那样 我就不用使眼色了 |
| [10:40] | Well, maybe if it was a more distinctive look… | 也许那的确是个与众不同的眼神 |
| [10:41] | Okay, the look isn’t important. | 先别管那个眼色了 |
| [10:43] | What’s important is that I can’t stand the idea | 重要的是 我受不了 |
| [10:46] | of Marshall dating another woman. | 马修和别人约会 |
| [10:48] | I mean, what if he falls in love with her? | 要是他真爱上别人怎么办? |
| [10:51] | Well, if it makes you feel any better, | 泰德说那女孩有双疯眼 |
| [10:52] | Ted says she has the crazy eyes. | 如果这让你好受点儿 |
| [10:55] | What’s that? | 什么意思? |
| [10:56] | Apparently, a thing women have that guys can see | 男人能看出女人的某些特点 |
| [10:58] | and it tells them that the girl’s crazy. | 他们认为那女孩儿很疯狂 |
| [11:00] | Oh, kind of like how you never want to date a guy | 就好像你从不… |
| [11:03] | with perfect fingernails? | 跟指甲修得整齐的男人约会 |
| [11:04] | Jerk nails. Exactly. | 古怪的家伙 就是那样 |
| [11:06] | Well, did-did Ted say whether she was good-looking? | 那么泰德有没有说起 她漂不漂亮? |
| [11:09] | I mean, ’cause if I knew she was ugly, | 如果我知道她很丑 |
| [11:11] | then maybe I wouldn’t be so freaked out. | 可能我就不会那么担心了 |
| [11:13] | Uh, he didn’t say, but you can find out. | 他没说 不过你可以自己去看 |
| [11:15] | I think her name is Chloe– she works at Cosa Coffee on 78th. | 她叫克洛伊 在第78大街 的可萨咖啡店工作 |
| [11:19] | Phone call for Swarles Barkley? | 斯华利·巴克利接电话 |
| [11:24] | Hey, Ted. No, he’s not here. | 你好 泰德 他不在 |
| [11:26] | Good one, though– remember that one. | 很好 那么 记得别忘了 |
| [11:33] | Is, um, Chloe here? | 克洛伊在吗? |
| [11:35] | She just left. You can probably still catch her. | 她刚走 你也许还能追上她 |
| [11:38] | She’s easy to spot– she’s got a pink umbrella. | 她打着粉红色的伞 很好认的 |
| [11:40] | Oh, thanks, Brian. | 谢谢你 布莱恩 |
| [11:42] | My name is Scott. | 我是斯科特 |
| [11:44] | Your tag says Brian. | 你的工号牌写的是布莱恩 |
| [11:46] | I know. Funny story. | 我知道 说来话长… |
| [11:47] | So, I wake up this morning, and… | 我早上醒来时… |
| [11:49] | Yeah, see you later, Brian. | 好的 再见 布莱恩 |
| [12:00] | There she is. | 她就在那儿 |
| [12:02] | She doesn’t look that great. | 看起来也不怎么样 |
| [12:03] | She’s not fat, but that doesn’t mean anything. | 虽然不胖 那也没什么大不了 |
| [12:06] | I know tons of skinny, ugly women. | 我可认识不少苗条的丑丫头 |
| [12:08] | That’s right, snotty girl in my yoga class, | 就像瑜珈班里的鼻涕虫 |
| [12:11] | I’m talking to you. | 说的就是你 |
| [12:13] | Come on, Chloe, turn around. | 快点 克洛伊 转过头来 |
| [12:17] | Here we go. Turn around, Chloe. | 快转身 克洛伊 |
| [12:20] | Come on, show me that hideous face. | 快点儿 让我看看你那丑样 |
| [12:23] | Damn it! | 该死 |
| [12:25] | Ooh, I know, I’ll get ahead of her, | 对了 我该到她前面 |
| [12:28] | then I’ll cut back so I… Aah! | 再转回头这样就能… |
| [12:30] | Oh, my God, that hurts! | 天呐 疼死我了 |
| [12:33] | Turn around! Come on! | 回头 快点儿 |
| [12:36] | Just turn around! | 快回头 |
| [12:38] | Okay, this is ridiculous. | 好吧 就疯这一次 |
| [12:45] | Hey! Turn around! What’s the matter with you? | 快回头 你磨蹭什么 |
| [12:47] | Hey, you! | 嗨 前面的 |
| [12:51] | Turn around! | 回过头来 |
| [12:54] | Turn around, Chloe! | 转身 克洛伊 |
| [13:03] | She’s hot? I’m so sorry. | 她很漂亮? 真遗憾 |
| [13:05] | No, it’s fine. | 不 这样也好 |
| [13:07] | I-It just makes things easier. | 这样我就能明白 |
| [13:09] | Now that I know she’s a threat, | 她是一个威胁 |
| [13:10] | all I have to do is keep Marshall from ever seeing her again. | 我得阻止马修再见她 |
| [13:13] | Okay, I have two plans– you can help me choose. | 我有两个计划 你帮我挑一个 |
| [13:16] | Plan A– | A计划 |
| [13:17] | remember that time Marshall and I had sex in the bathroom? | 还记得那次 我和马修的浴室激情? |
| [13:20] | Oops, I got knocked up. | 我简直筋疲力尽 |
| [13:22] | – Lily. – Okay, plan B | -莉莉 -B计划 |
| [13:24] | is called “Chloe’s Accident.” | 它叫做克洛伊事件 |
| [13:26] | – Just stop. – What? | – 等一下 – 怎么了 |
| [13:28] | Lily, you can’t do any of those things. | 莉莉 你不能那样做 |
| [13:30] | If you two are ever gonna get back together, | 如果你们俩要重归于好 |
| [13:32] | you have to let him work out whatever this is. | 你就得让他自己处理这类事情 |
| [13:34] | I know. You’re right. | 我知道 你说得对 |
| [13:37] | Now, come on, Ted asked us to be upstairs at 6:00. | 走吧 泰德让 我们六点到楼上去 |
| [13:39] | Some surprise for Barney. | 有个惊喜给巴尼 |
| [13:41] | – Barney? – Uh, Swarley. | – 巴尼? – 斯华利! |
| [13:47] | – Hey, guys. – Hey. Where’s Marshall? | 马修呢? |
| [13:48] | Oh, he’s getting a haircut. | 他在理发 |
| [13:49] | Oh. For his date. | 为他的约会 |
| [13:52] | Good for him. | 祝他好运 |
| [13:53] | Hope he has a good time tonight. | 希望他今晚过得愉快 |
| [13:55] | Relax, you’ve got nothing to worry about. | 放松点 没什么好担心的 |
| [13:57] | The girl’s crazy. | 那女孩是疯子 |
| [13:58] | Thanks! | 谢谢 |
| [14:00] | He’ll just have wild monkey sex with her five times, max, | 他会像野猴子一样 跟她做爱 五次 最多了 |
| [14:02] | and be done with her. | 他会被她榨干的 |
| [14:04] | Thanks again. | 多谢了 |
| [14:07] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么? |
| [14:09] | I just wanted to listen to a little music, that’s all. | 来点音乐 还能怎么样 |
| [14:12] | And this next one’s going out to Swarley. | 下一首歌送给斯华利 |
| [14:14] | All your friends know you miss Barney, | 你的朋友们都知道你想念巴尼 |
| [14:16] | but he’s gone, and you got to accept that, baby. | 但他已经不在了 你要接受现实 宝贝 |
| [14:19] | And, Swarley, you’re gonna be a better woman for it. | 这样你才能过得更好 斯华利 |
| [14:22] | Here’s “I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy. | 这里是海伦·雷迪 主持的 “我是女人” 栏目 |
| [14:25] | Ha-ha! Now I’m a woman. I love it! | 现在我是女人了 我喜欢… |
| [14:29] | You know, I was thinking about this whole new name thing last night, | 我昨天整晚都在想这个新名字 |
| [14:31] | and you know what I realized? I like it. | 知道我发现了什么? 我喜欢这个名字 |
| [14:34] | You like being called Swarley? | 你喜欢被叫做斯华利? |
| [14:35] | Are you kidding? I want you to call me that. | 开玩笑 我当然喜欢 |
| [14:37] | Do you really think this is gonna work? | 你真这么想? |
| [14:39] | Do I think what’s gonna work? I’m just saying, I love my new name, | 那还用问吗 我喜欢我的新名字 |
| [14:41] | so please only call me that from now on. | 所以 从现在起 就那么叫我 |
| [14:45] | Call you what? | 叫你什么? |
| [14:47] | You know, that-that-that new name that you’ve been calling me. | 就是那个…那个… 你们常叫的那个… |
| [14:51] | Say it. | 说呀 |
| [14:52] | Why? You guys know what it is. | 干嘛 你们知道那是什么 |
| [14:54] | Say the name. | 说出那个名字 |
| [14:57] | No, I don’t want to! I hate it! | 不 我不愿意 我恨它 |
| [14:59] | I hate it! It’s not funny! | 我恨它 这不好笑 |
| [15:02] | It’s never been funny! I’ve never done any… | 它根本就没意思 我从没做过任何… |
| [15:04] | No! | 不… |
| [15:07] | Man, he is really gonna lose it | 当收到那些杂志订阅单时 |
| [15:09] | when all the magazine subscriptions start coming in. | 他一定会大发雷霆 |
| [15:12] | I signed him up for People in Espanol, | 我给他订了《西班牙人》 |
| [15:14] | but I addressed it to Swarlos. | 但签的是斯华利 |
| [15:17] | Hey, where’s the picture of Marshall and me at the pier? | 马修和我在码头 拍的那张照片在哪? |
| [15:21] | Didn’t it used to be by that window? | 它不是总放在窗户旁边? |
| [15:23] | Oh, yeah, he, uh, he sort of took it down when you left. | 你搬走后 他好像把它拿走了 |
| [15:26] | Put it behind some books, I think. | 我想是放到书后面了 |
| [15:28] | Oh, well-well, maybe I should put it back up. | 也许我该把它放还原 |
| [15:30] | Why, so Chloe’ll see it and get scared off? | 干嘛?想让克洛伊 看见知难而退? |
| [15:32] | No. | 不 |
| [15:34] | So Marshall’ll see it and feel guilty. | 让马修看着它产生犯罪感 |
| [15:37] | Yeah, okay. | 算了吧 |
| [15:39] | But she wasn’t okay. | 可她没有就这么算了 |
| [15:41] | Later that night, while Marshall was on his date, | 那天晚上 马修还在约会的时候 |
| [15:44] | Lily came back. | 莉莉又回来了 |
| [16:03] | …anymore. | 还有吗? |
| [16:05] | Pretty impressive, huh? | 很感人是吗 |
| [16:06] | Wow, you really did memorize all the lyrics to “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” | 你真的记住了 我们没有点燃激情 这首诗… |
| [16:11] | Can I, uh, can I get you a drink? | 要喝点什么吗 |
| [16:13] | I’d love a beer. | 啤酒就好 |
| [16:14] | You got it. | 稍等 |
| [16:18] | Lily did what any sensible woman would do. | 像所有理智的女人一样 |
| [16:21] | She hid under the desk. | 莉莉躲到了桌子底下 |
| [16:24] | And she stayed there, listening to her ex-fiance | 她待在那里 |
| [16:26] | on a date with another woman. | 听着她前未婚夫 和别的女人约会 |
| [16:29] | I had a really nice time tonight. | 我今晚非常开心 |
| [16:31] | Yeah, me, too. Stop blinking. | 我也是 别眨眼 |
| [16:33] | I like your eyes a lot, too. | 我也很喜欢你的眼睛 |
| [16:36] | Finally, much like Billy Joel, | 最后 就像比利·乔 |
| [16:38] | she couldn’t take it anymore. | 她再也受不了 |
| [16:40] | Stop! | 停止 |
| [16:44] | Hi. I’m Lily. | 我是莉莉 |
| [16:49] | Lily… Lily, what the hell are you doing? | 莉莉… 莉莉 你到底在这里做什么? |
| [16:52] | I don’t know. I… I don’t know… what I’m doing. | 我不知道 我也不知道… 在做什么 |
| [16:55] | Oh, pumpkin beer– that was a good one. | 南瓜啤酒 那很好 |
| [16:58] | I’m just… I’m gonna go. I… I’m so sorry. | 我只是…我走了…很抱歉 |
| [17:02] | En-Enjoy the rest of your date. | 你们继续约会 |
| [17:09] | She seems nice. | 她看起来很不错 |
| [17:23] | – Lilly, what the hell… – I’m sorry. | – 莉莉 这是怎么回事? – 对不起… |
| [17:26] | I only snuck up there because… | 我溜过来是因为… |
| [17:28] | when I saw how cute she was yesterday, I freaked out. | 昨天我发现她 那么聪明可爱 我很担心 |
| [17:31] | Lily, you saw her yesterday? | 莉莉 你昨天见她了? |
| [17:34] | Yeah, I… kind of chased her down the street. | 是的 我跟了她整条街 |
| [17:41] | Wait, so you were the hunchback with the limp? | 等等 那你就是 那个驼背跛脚的家伙? |
| [17:44] | Yeah. | 是 |
| [17:46] | And she didn’t break the picture, I did. | 她没有打碎像框 是我干的 |
| [17:51] | So Chloe’s not crazy, she’s… | 那么克洛伊不是疯子 |
| [17:55] | just a nice, normal girl. | 她只是个可爱的 正常的女孩儿 |
| [17:58] | Yeah, she is. | 是的 |
| [18:02] | And you deserve a nice, normal girl. | 你是该找个 可爱又正常的女孩儿 |
| [18:06] | So, why don’t you just go back up there | 你干嘛还不上去 |
| [18:08] | and-and finish your date. | 继续你的约会 |
| [18:13] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [18:15] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:16] | Okay. | 好 |
| [18:20] | Wait, if you were the hunchback, then why did she think you were a guy? | 等等 如果你是那个驼背 她怎么会认为你是男人? |
| [18:25] | I-I might have used a voice that sounded like this. | 我是用这种声音叫的 |
| [18:30] | – Why? – Because I didn’t want | – 为什么? – 因为我不想 |
| [18:32] | her to know it was me, which I now realize doesn’t make sense, | 让她知道是我 我知道这样很荒唐 |
| [18:35] | because she hadn’t even met me. | 她甚至都没见过我 |
| [18:38] | You’re crazy. | 你真疯了 |
| [18:41] | You have… crazier eyes than anybody that I have ever met. | 你的眼神比我 见过的任何人都要疯狂 |
| [18:49] | Shouldn’t you be going back up… | 你不是该回去… |
| [18:51] | I mean, you’re out of your mind. | 我说 你失去理智了 |
| [18:53] | You’re… just absolutely insane. | 你这个大傻瓜 |
| [18:59] | Shouldn’t you be going back upstairs? | 你怎么还不上楼 |
| [19:07] | I’ve missed you so much. | 我非常想你 |
| [19:16] | Okay, I ran it by the group, | 我们商量过了 |
| [19:19] | and we decided we’re gonna give you a choice. | 决定给你个选择机会 |
| [19:20] | We will agree to stop calling you Swarley, | 我们同意不再叫你斯华利 |
| [19:23] | but instead, we’ll call you Jennifer. | 改为叫你詹尼弗 |
| [19:28] | Well? | 怎么样 |
| [19:29] | I’m thinking. | 我在考虑 |
| [19:32] | How about this? On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays… | 这样如何? 每周一 三 五… |
| [19:37] | Hey. Look at this. | 看看这里 |
| [19:39] | So right there, in the exact same place | 就是在这里 |
| [19:41] | that six months earlier I had walked up and found Marshall alone, | 六个月前在同一个地方 我看到马修孤单一人 |
| [19:44] | crying over his breakup with Lily, I found him again. | 为他和莉莉分手而哭泣 现在我又看见他 |
| [19:48] | Only this time he wasn’t alone, | 只是这次他不再孤单 |
| [19:50] | and he was happy. | 他很开心 |
| [19:52] | So we went to the bar to celebrate, and it was great. | 于是我们去酒吧庆祝 真是棒极了 |
| [19:55] | I was with Robin, Marshall and Lily were back together, | 我和罗宾在一起 马修和莉莉重归于好 |
| [19:58] | and Barney had a cool new name. | 巴尼有了一个很酷的新名字 |
| [20:00] | All was right with the world… | 一切都那么美好 |
| [20:02] | until we got back to the apartment. | 直到我们回到公寓 |
| [20:04] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [20:07] | Hey, Chloe, I… | 克洛伊 我… |
| [20:09] | guess I forgot I left you up here. | 我好像忘了你还在这里 |
| [20:11] | I was gonna leave, but I can’t find my keys. | 我打算走的 可我没找到我的钥匙 |
| [20:15] | They’re right there on the coffee table. | 它就在咖啡桌上 |
| [20:20] | Silly me. | 我真蠢 |
| [20:22] | I must have looked everywhere else. | 我把别的地方都找遍了 |
| [20:27] | Well… I’m just gonna go. | 好了…我要走了 |
| [20:31] | Oh, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Chloe. | 我们还没见过面 我是克洛伊 |
| [20:34] | Robin. | 罗宾 |
| [20:35] | It’s nice to meet you, Roland. | 很高兴认识你 罗兰 |
| [20:37] | I’ll see you guys later. | 各位再见 |
| [20:42] | Roland? | 罗兰? |
| [20:45] | Your name’s Roland. | 你叫罗兰? |
| [20:47] | That’s funny, right? | 很好笑 不是吗 |
| [20:50] | Rock and Roland. | 罗克和罗兰 |
| [20:52] | Warsaw is the capital of what? Roland. | 华沙是哪里的首都? 罗兰 |
| [20:56] | You’re Monica Roland-ski. | 你是莫妮卡·罗兰斯基 |
| [21:01] | Hey, yeah, that’s just how I Roland. | 是的 罗兰多好 |
| [21:05] | – Nice try, Swarley. – Damn it. | – 别白费劲 斯华利 – 该死 |
| [21:16] | Swarley! | 斯华利 |