| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | ..learn about relationships is that you’re never done | 在交往过程中要不断地… |
| [00:04] | getting to know someone. | 去了解对方 |
| [00:05] | Everyone has secrets. | 每个人都有秘密 |
| [00:07] | Some are nice. | 有些是好的 |
| [00:08] | You know how to make crepes? | 你知道怎么烤薄饼么? |
| [00:11] | That is so cool. | 真有你的 |
| [00:14] | Some aren’t as nice. | 有些是不好的 |
| [00:16] | And then there was Derek, and counting you, | 然后就是和德雷克交往 算上你 |
| [00:19] | – that puts the total up to– – Oh, I got your total. | – 一共是… – 我知道有多少人了 |
| [00:22] | I’ve been counting along. | 我一直在算 |
| [00:25] | And some are just weird. | 还有一些就是惊悚的了 |
| [00:27] | You’re scared of the seven dwarfs? | 你害怕七个小矮人? |
| [00:30] | Just Doc. He’s creepy. | 就怕多克!事情很蹊跷 (小矮人的头领) |
| [00:31] | I mean the guy went to medical school. | 你看他就读的是医学院 |
| [00:33] | What’s he doing living with six coal miners? | 但为什么和6个煤炭工人住一起? |
| [00:36] | Oh, man! I’m so excited. I couldn’t sleep last night. | 同志们 我兴奋地一晚上都没睡觉 |
| [00:38] | – I bet you guys couldn’t either. – Why? | – 我打赌你们也没睡着 – 为什么? |
| [00:40] | Only the Gala event for the Grand Opening | 当然是因为夏普形象店 第500家分店的 |
| [00:42] | of Sharper Image’s 500th store. Didn’t you get my email? | 盛大开业典礼了 你们都没收到我的邮件? |
| [00:45] | No, I blocked your address after the fourth time | 在你第四次发 猴子闻自己屁股的视频时 |
| [00:48] | you sent me the video of the monkey sniffing his own butt. | 我就把你拖进黑名单了 |
| [00:51] | Come on! It’s on me. I’m buying three of you foot massagers | 我请客 我给你们准备了3张足疗卡 |
| [00:53] | and one of you a nose hair trimmer. You know who you are. | 和一套鼻毛修建工具 别乐得忘了自己姓啥哦 |
| [00:56] | Come on, let’s go. | 来 开路 |
| [00:58] | Okay, I’m in. | 好的 走吧 |
| [00:59] | – To the Willowbrook Mall! – To the Willowbrook Mall. | – 杀向威乐布鲁克商场! – 杀向威乐布鲁克商场 |
| [01:01] | Oh, it’s at a mall? I’m not going. | 在商场? 那我不去了 |
| [01:04] | What? Why not? | 什么? 为什么啊? |
| [01:05] | I just don’t feel like going to a mall. | 我就是不喜欢去商场 |
| [01:07] | We can split a Cinnabon. | 我们可以分肉桂面包的 |
| [01:09] | No, I’m really not going to go. | 不 我真的不去了 |
| [01:11] | – Come on, it’ll be fun. – No, I don’t go to malls! | – 来吧 那很有意思的 – 我说了不去! |
| [01:15] | Sorry, I just don’t like malls. | 抱歉 我真的很不喜欢商场 |
| [01:18] | Why not? | 为什么不喜欢? |
| [01:20] | I’d rather not say. | 我不太想说 |
| [01:23] | – Sharper Images. – But that’s where clothes live. | – 夏普形象店 – 那里有时装展的 |
| [01:24] | Guys, guys, guys, Robin doesn’t like malls. | 算了 伙计们 罗宾不喜欢商场 |
| [01:26] | If she doesn’t want to tell us why, she doesn’t have to. | 如果她不想说原因 那就不要勉强了 |
| [01:29] | I think we should all just respect her privacy. | 我想我们应该尊重她的隐私 |
| [01:31] | Thanks, Ted. | 谢谢你 泰德 |
| [01:33] | So, what’s the deal with you and malls? | 你到底为什么不愿去商场啊? |
| [01:35] | I thought you said that, if I didn’t want to talk about it, | 你不是说过么 如果我不想说 |
| [01:37] | I didn’t have to. | 我就不用说了 |
| [01:38] | Yeah, with those people. | 那是当着别人的面 |
| [01:40] | But I’m your boyfriend. Come on. What is it? | 但我是你男朋友啊 到底怎么回事? |
| [01:41] | Did you get arrested at a mall? | 难道你在商场里被逮捕过? |
| [01:43] | No. | 没 |
| [01:43] | – Dumped at a mall? – Ted. | – 在商场里被甩过? – 泰德 |
| [01:45] | Found out you were Canadian at a mall? | 在商场里被认出来是加拿大人了? |
| [01:47] | Let it go. | 够了吧 |
| [01:48] | Trapped under a fake boulder at a mall? | 困在商场的假山下面? |
| [01:50] | – Let it go. – Mauled at the mall? | – 别说笑了 – 在商场里被骚扰过? |
| [01:52] | Let it go! | 够了! |
| [01:54] | And who gets trapped under a fake boulder at the mall? | 谁能困在商场的假山下? |
| [01:59] | Not me in Ohio when I was nine, that’s for sure. | 我9岁时掉进过 在俄亥俄州 不骗你 |
| [02:18] | I don’t get it. Why won’t Robin tell me why she hates malls? | 我不能理解 为什么罗宾 不愿告诉我 她讨厌商场的原因? |
| [02:22] | Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. | 泰德 你应该感到庆幸罗宾有秘密 |
| [02:24] | The more you learn about a person, | 你对一个人了解的越多 |
| [02:25] | the better chance you have of hitting the fatal “Oh” moment. | 你就越逼近”终结时刻” |
| [02:29] | The “Oh” moment? | “终结时刻”? |
| [02:30] | Yeah, that moment when you find out that one detail about a person | 就是当你知道了 对方的某个事情后 |
| [02:33] | that is going to be a deal breaker. | 你们的关系就终结了 |
| [02:36] | It’s a promise ring. | 这是一个承诺戒指 |
| [02:37] | I made a pact with God to stay a virgin till I’m married. | 我向上帝承诺结婚前 我会一直保持处女之身 |
| [02:43] | I don’t have an eating disorder. | 我才不会乱节食 |
| [02:45] | It’s just when I put food in my mouth, I chew it, and then I spit it out. | 我都把食物放进嘴里 咀嚼后再吐出来 |
| [02:51] | I just turned 30. | 我马上30岁了 |
| [02:55] | So trust me, you want to postpone | 所以相信我 关于对方的事 |
| [02:58] | knowing anything about each other for as long as possible. | 你知道的越晚越好 |
| [03:00] | Mmm. I disagree. If there is some potential “Oh” moment, | 这我不同意 就算有所谓的”终结时刻” |
| [03:03] | I want to know about it right away. I mean, what’s the alternative? | 我也想尽快知道 这样… 还能有回旋的余地 |
| [03:06] | I now pronounce you, man and wife. | 我现在宣布你们结为夫妻 |
| [03:12] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [03:13] | I used to be a dude. | 我是个变性人 |
| [03:17] | Yeah, I agree with Ted. | 我同意泰德的观点 |
| [03:19] | In a real relationship, you share everything. | 在真正的交往中 应该无所保留 |
| [03:22] | That’s why Marshall and I don’t keep any secrets. | 所以我和马修之间 从来不保留秘密 |
| [03:24] | You are such a cutie pie. Here’s a quarter. | 你真是个天真的小孩 这有枚硬币… |
| [03:27] | Go play a song on the jukebox. | 去自动点唱机唱首歌玩 |
| [03:29] | No, it’s true. They tell each other everything. | 他们说的是真的 他们把所有事都告诉对方了 |
| [03:31] | I can think of tons of things, there’s no way Marshall’s told you. | 我能抖出一箩筐事 那是马修绝对不可能告诉你的 |
| [03:34] | Try me. | 那你来试试 |
| [03:37] | Do you know about the time Marshall was in Trenton? | 你知道马修在 切尔敦有过什么事么? |
| [03:39] | Donkey ate his pants. Yup. | 有头驴扒掉了他的裤子 |
| [03:40] | Bill’s bachelor party in Memphis? | 在孟菲斯比尔的单身汉聚会上呢? |
| [03:42] | Oh, when they had to pump out all the nickels from his stomach? | 就是那次大家不得不用 泵把他胃里的镍币吸出来的时候? |
| [03:45] | Wow. Okay. Seattle. | 你真可以…在西雅图? |
| [03:47] | Trick question. Marshall’s never been to the Pacific Northwest | 少蒙人了! 马修从没去过西海岸 |
| [03:50] | because he’s afraid of Sasquatch. | 因为他害怕雪怪 |
| [03:52] | Damn, you’re good. | 该死 你都对了 |
| [03:53] | I’m not afraid of Sasquatch, I just think we should all be on alert. | 我不是害怕雪怪 而是我觉得应该随时保持警惕 |
| [03:57] | Trust me. Not only do they tell each other everything, | 相信我 他们不仅知道对方的事 |
| [04:00] | they want to know everything. | 他们什么八卦都不放过 |
| [04:03] | So after the shower I was brushing my teeth. And I was like, | 淋浴后我开始刷牙 但突然想起… |
| [04:05] | “Oh, man! I wanted to have some orange juice. | 天哪 我本打算来点橘子汁的 |
| [04:07] | I should have done that first.” | 应该先喝了再刷牙 |
| [04:08] | But I already had the toothpaste on the toothbrush. | 但我已经把牙膏挤在牙刷上了 |
| [04:10] | So I just went ahead and brushed them anyway. | 所以我就不管了 先刷了再说… |
| [04:12] | What happened next? | 接下来怎么样了? |
| [04:16] | Yeah, meanwhile, Robin tells me nothing. | 但同时 罗宾却什么都不跟我说 |
| [04:19] | Fine. Do you want to know what Robin’s secret is? | 那你想知道罗宾的秘密么? |
| [04:22] | You know? | 你知道? |
| [04:23] | Of course I know. | 当然 |
| [04:24] | She couldn’t look at us, her face got flushed– | 她不敢正眼 瞧咱们并且脸颊绯红 |
| [04:26] | that’s shame, my friend. | 她觉得难以启齿了 |
| [04:28] | Our friend Robin used to do porn, wait for it… | 我们的罗宾曾经是色情… |
| [04:33] | …ography. | 行业工作者 |
| [04:35] | Yeah, we didn’t really need to wait for that. | 你用不着这么玩大喘气的 |
| [04:38] | And it’s ridiculous. | 而且这太荒唐了 |
| [04:39] | I don’t know. He could be right. | 这不好说 他说的也有可能 |
| [04:41] | She does have the fake orgasm noises down. | 她发出过假的叫床声 |
| [04:44] | Hey! | 说什么呢 |
| [04:44] | What? The walls are thin. | 怎么了? 墙的隔音效果又不好 |
| [04:46] | That’s not what I’m “hey”ing you about. | 我说的不是这个! |
| [04:49] | You know what it might be? | 你有没有考虑过这种可能 |
| [04:51] | This is going to sound a little crazy but what if Robin is married? | 听上去有些夸张 但是也许罗宾已经结婚了 |
| [04:55] | Married? What does that have to do with the mall? | 结婚? 那和商场有什么关系? |
| [04:57] | Well, maybe she got married at the mall. | 也许她是在商场结的婚 |
| [05:00] | Back home in Minnesota, a ton of people get married | 在我老家明尼苏达州 很多人都想把婚礼办在 |
| [05:02] | at the Mall of America. It’s great. | 商场 那里很棒的 |
| [05:04] | There’s this gorgeous indoor golf course for pictures, | 有华丽的用来拍电影的 室内高尔夫球场 |
| [05:06] | numerous fine dining options, and talk about a reasonable– | 眼花缭乱的美食 是结婚地点的最佳… |
| [05:09] | – We are not getting married at the mall! – Well, just meet with the guy. | – 我们不要在商场结婚! – 我只是假设一下 |
| [05:12] | She’s not married. Robin hates marriage. | 她没结婚 她厌恶结婚的 |
| [05:15] | Because she already got married. | 那是因为她已经在商场 |
| [05:17] | At the mall. | 结婚了 |
| [05:19] | No, because before Robin moved to New York, she… | 罗宾在来到纽约前… |
| [05:22] | What was she doing? | 到底是干什么的啊? |
| [05:24] | Well, I don’t know. Whenever I ask her about Canada, | 我不知道 我每次提到在加拿大的事 |
| [05:26] | she kind of clams up. | 她就沉默了 |
| [05:28] | She’s a pretty private person. | 她真是一个注重隐私的人 |
| [05:30] | Except when she’s talking about… | 除了在谈到… |
| [05:33] | Oh, a friend of mine in Canada got married way too young | 我有一个朋友结婚很早 |
| [05:36] | and it really turned her off to marriage. | 结果使她很厌恶结婚 |
| [05:38] | What do you think of this wedding cake? | 你认为这个结婚蛋糕怎么样? |
| [05:40] | Oh, I like it. | 不错 我喜欢 |
| [05:41] | Hey, you remember that friend of mine in Canada | 你记得我提过的 一个在加拿大的朋友 |
| [05:43] | who got married way too young? | 就是结婚太早的那个? |
| [05:45] | Her wedding cake was a Mrs. Fields’ giant cookie. | 她的结婚时就是 菲尔茨太太做的巨型蛋糕 |
| [05:49] | No. | 我可不要… |
| [05:53] | My friend in Canada who got married way too young, | 我那个在加拿大结婚太早的朋友 |
| [05:55] | they had to do their vows twice, once in French. | 她的婚誓发了两次 一次是用法语发的 |
| [05:58] | They speak French there, too? | 上帝也讲法语么? |
| [05:59] | God, that place is a mess. | 什么乱七八糟的事 |
| [06:02] | So you don’t think there’s any “friend” from Canada? | 所以你认为她在加拿大 并没有这个所谓的朋友? |
| [06:05] | Oh, I’m sure there is. | 肯定是的 |
| [06:07] | Just like I have a “friend” who wet his bed till he was ten. | 我有个朋友到10岁了 还尿床呢 |
| [06:09] | Use your brain, Ted. | 动动你的脑子吧 泰德 |
| [06:14] | Guys, there’s no way Robin is married. | 伙计们 罗宾不可能结婚了 |
| [06:16] | It’s ludicrous to even suggest it. | 这种猜测忒荒唐了点 |
| [06:18] | – Thank you, Barney. – ‘Cause it’s porn. | – 就是的 巴尼 – 她肯定是干色情行业的 |
| [06:20] | I need another beer. | 我再去要杯啤酒 |
| [06:22] | Robin was not in porn. I bet you anything that she’s married. | 罗宾肯定不是干那个的 我跟你打赌 罗宾肯定是结婚了 |
| [06:25] | $20,000 says it’s porn. | 打赌两万美金 |
| [06:26] | I don’t have $20,000. | 我没两万美金 |
| [06:28] | Well, then what do you have? | 那你有点什么? |
| [06:30] | – Well… – No. | – 能借… – 别想 |
| [06:33] | I’ve got it. The ultimate wager– | 我知道了 换个形式 |
| [06:36] | slap bet. | 打赌输了 打耳光 |
| [06:37] | Oh, slap bet. We used to do those when I was a kid. | 打耳光? 我们小时候这么干过 |
| [06:39] | What the hell’s a slap bet? | 打赌打耳光是什么意思? |
| [06:41] | Whoever is right gets to slap the other person in the face | 打赌赢了的人可以打 输了的人力度不限 |
| [06:43] | as hard as they possibly can– but no rings. | 而且输了的人不许还击 |
| [06:45] | Are you really going to do that? That’s so immature. | 你真的要这么干? 这太幼稚了吧 |
| [06:48] | – You can be Slap Bet Commissioner. – Ooh, I love it. What are my powers? | – 你当这次赌的监察官 – 我干…我的权力是什么? |
| [06:50] | Um, if a problem arises and we need a ruling, that’s your job. | 如果出现争议由你来仲裁 |
| [06:53] | But you have to be unbiased | 但是你不得有私心 |
| [06:55] | and put the integrity of slap bet above all else. | 要保证这个赌公平公正公开 |
| [06:58] | This is an honor you will take with you to your grave. | 这可是件让你祖坟上冒青烟的事 |
| [07:01] | On your tombstone, it will read, | 等你百年之后 墓碑上会这么刻着 |
| [07:03] | “Lily Aldrin, caring wife, loving friend, | 莉莉·艾得仁 不仅是 一位体贴的妻子 可爱的朋友 |
| [07:06] | Slap Bet Commissioner.” | 还是打耳光游戏的监察官 |
| [07:09] | And your tombstone will read “Got slapped by Marshall, so hard he died.” | 那么你的墓碑上会刻着 “牺牲于马修的猛掌袭击下” |
| [07:14] | Okay. What if I just ask Robin point blank if she has a husband? | 继续来 我要怎样在罗宾面前 切入到”丈夫”这个话题上 |
| [07:19] | You said you would respect her privacy, | 你不是说尊重罗宾的隐私嘛 |
| [07:21] | so maybe you should just drop it. | 你还是不要计较这件事了 |
| [07:23] | Yeah, you’re right. | 算了 就这么着吧 |
| [07:27] | Husband. | 老工 |
| [07:30] | There’s no “P” in husband. | 你的”老公”拼错了 |
| [07:32] | Wow, you seem to know a lot about husbands. | 你对这个挺有研究的啊 |
| [07:35] | Fine. I’ll take it back. | 好吧 我改 |
| [07:37] | Oh, hey, since you mentioned husbands, this is great, you’re going to love this. | 你既然提到了”老公” 给你讲个有意思的事 |
| [07:40] | Marshall, you know Marshall. He thinks that the reason | 知道马修吧 他认为你那天 |
| [07:43] | you didn’t want to go to the mall the other day | 不愿意去商场的原因 |
| [07:44] | is because you got married at a mall and have a husband in Canada. | 你在加拿大时已经结婚 婚礼是在商场办的 |
| [07:50] | I told him he’s crazy. Because he’s crazy, right? | 我说他有病 你说他是不是? |
| [07:52] | I mean, how crazy is that? | 真不知他哪根筋搭错了 |
| [07:55] | Are you asking me if I’m married? | 你是想问我结婚没有吧 |
| [07:57] | Well, you can ask me. | 你可以问我的 |
| [07:58] | Nope, I’m not married. Your turn. | 我当然没结 该你了 |
| [08:00] | What happened to respecting my privacy? | 不是说尊重我的隐私么? |
| [08:03] | Look, just say, “No, I’m not married.” | 说”不 我没结婚”就好了呗 |
| [08:05] | Ted, I don’t understand why you can’t– | 泰德 我不明白你为什么… |
| [08:07] | Just say, “No, I’m not married.” | 就说一句”不 我没结婚” |
| [08:10] | I can’t. | 不行 |
| [08:11] | Marshall’s right. | 马修说的没错 |
| [08:15] | I was young and I got married. | 我年纪很轻时就结婚了 |
| [08:18] | It was a mistake and he moved away, but… | 但这是个错误 他早就离开了… |
| [08:20] | yeah. I’m married. | 是的 我结过婚 |
| [08:32] | You have a husband? | 你有老公了? |
| [08:34] | I was young and stupid | 我当时太年轻 太傻了 |
| [08:36] | and we got married at a mall and we broke up at a mall | 我们在商场里结婚 并在商场里分手了 |
| [08:39] | and I… I haven’t been to a mall since. | 从那以后我再也不去商场了 |
| [08:42] | Why didn’t you get divorced? | 那你怎么没离婚? |
| [08:43] | He moved to Hong Kong for work and I was like… | 他搬到香港工作了 然后我就… |
| [08:46] | eh, good enough. | 就这么多了 |
| [08:47] | Good enough? That’s not good enough. | 就这样了? 这怎么行 |
| [08:50] | You order pancakes, you get waffles, that’s good enough. | 你还得烤薄饼 弄点瓦夫饼干 这样才行 |
| [08:53] | Look, I haven’t seen him in years. | 我已经很多年没见过他了 |
| [08:56] | It’s just a part of my life I want to forget. | 这只是我生活里 需要遗忘的一部分 |
| [08:59] | Just please don’t tell anyone about this. | 别告诉其他人这件事 |
| [09:03] | Okay. | 知道了 |
| [09:08] | Dude, your hand is monstrous. | 好家伙 你的手是熊掌啊 |
| [09:10] | Yeah, well, what’d you expect? You’ve seen my penis. | 你以为我是什么? 你不是见识过我的能力了么 |
| [09:14] | I can’t believe you told us Robin’s secret. | 没想到你会 告诉我们罗宾的秘密 |
| [09:17] | What? How could I keep something like that to myself? | 怎么了?这事你叫我怎么保持沉默? |
| [09:20] | And you begged me to tell you. | 你不是央求我说的么? |
| [09:21] | No, I didn’t. | 有么? |
| [09:23] | Please tell us. Just tell us. I’m begging you. | 告诉我们吧 就说一下嘛 求你了 |
| [09:26] | Tell us. Tell us. Tell us. Please please please– | 说一下 说一下 就说一下 拜托了… |
| [09:28] | Fine. Robin’s married. | 够了 罗宾她结婚了 |
| [09:32] | Yeah, well, you still shouldn’t have told us. | 其实你不该告诉我们的 |
| [09:34] | I mean, what kind of boyfriend are you? | 你怎么能这么当男友啊? |
| [09:36] | See that’s just it, I’m not the boyfriend. | 可事实上我根本不是她男朋友 |
| [09:38] | I’m the mistress. | 我只是个情妇 |
| [09:40] | No, not the mistress. | 不 还不如这 |
| [09:41] | The mastress. | 是情夫 |
| [09:43] | The master. What do you call it? | 情父 这字怎么写来着? |
| [09:44] | Uh, pretty sure we’re going to call it mistress. | 我肯定是写成情妇 |
| [09:47] | What am I going to do? My girlfriend’s married. | 我该怎么办? 我的女友是已婚的 |
| [09:51] | Do I ask her to get a divorce? | 我该要求她离婚么? |
| [09:52] | Ted, even if she is married, it’s a Canadian marriage. | 泰德 就算她结婚了 那也是个加拿大式婚姻 |
| [09:55] | It’s like their money, or their army. | 好比金钱啊 军队啊 这些身外之物 |
| [09:57] | Nobody takes it seriously. | 没人在意的 |
| [10:00] | It’s serious to me. | 可我在意 |
| [10:01] | You know what, in some countries, if you been separated | 在一些国家当夫妻分居达5年以上 |
| [10:03] | for longer than five years, technically, you’re no longer married. | 在法律上 这个婚姻就无效了 |
| [10:05] | I can check it out at the law library at school. | 这是我在学校 查阅法律书籍知道的 |
| [10:10] | I can see my hand print on your face. | 你的脸上还印着我的指印 |
| [10:13] | Don’t get too cocky, Slappy. | 别得意的太早 |
| [10:16] | I just got a shipment of porn from Canada I have to go through. | 我还在搜集加拿大的色情业资料 |
| [10:19] | I won the bet. Why are you still searching? | 这赌我都赢了 你还折腾个什么劲啊? |
| [10:21] | Just because you were right doesn’t mean I’m wrong. | 就算你是对的 也不意味着我是错的 |
| [10:23] | Oh, right, like you need an excuse to watch porn. | 算了吧 你只是 在给自己找个理由看色情片 |
| [10:26] | Canadian porn. | 加拿大情色片 |
| [10:28] | Trust me when I tell you their universal health care system | 相信我 加拿大的医疗保险 |
| [10:31] | doesn’t cover breast implants. | 是不给隆胸买单的 |
| [10:33] | If I have to sit through one more flat-chested Nova Scotian | 如果我在看到一个平胸的 新斯科瓦省的女人 |
| [10:36] | riding a Mountie on the back of a Zamboni | 骑着马在铺冰机上面溜达的时候 |
| [10:38] | I’ll go out of my mind. | 我会崩溃的 |
| [10:44] | – Hey. – Hey. | – 好啊 – 来了 |
| [10:46] | Listen, dude, I got to talk to you, | 我有事跟你说 |
| [10:48] | but you got to promise me that you won’t tell Barney. | 但是你要保证不告诉巴尼 |
| [10:51] | Fine, I won’t tell Barney. What is it? | 好的 我不告诉他 怎么了? |
| [10:55] | – Robin’s not married. – What? | – 罗宾没有结婚 – 什么? |
| [10:57] | Why would she tell me she was? | 那她为什么说她结婚了? |
| [10:59] | I don’t know, but I cross- checked every record in Canada. | 我不知道 但是我 查遍了加拿大的相关资料 |
| [11:01] | There’s no record of her ever being married. | 没有记录表明她结过婚 |
| [11:03] | There must be some mistake. | 这肯定出了问题 |
| [11:04] | I promise you. She’s not married. | 我跟你保证 她没有结婚 |
| [11:06] | She’s not great at parking legally either. | 她也不擅长正确泊位 |
| [11:09] | So she lied to me? W–What am I going to do? | 那么是她对我说谎了? 那我该怎么办? |
| [11:12] | I-I can’t confront her, ’cause then she’ll know I told you. | 我不能和她对证 不能让她知道我把这事说了出去 |
| [11:16] | You got to lawyer her. | 你可以诱导她 |
| [11:17] | You got to ask her a bunch of questions, try to trip her up, | 你可以问她一堆问题 把她搞晕 |
| [11:20] | maybe make her feel guilty, whatever it takes | 使她产生罪恶感 不管使什么手段 |
| [11:22] | to get a confession out of her. | 都要让她自己招供 |
| [11:25] | Thanks for telling me your secret. | 谢谢你告诉我你的秘密 |
| [11:27] | It means so much to me, that you could be so– | 这对我来说 表明了你是多么的… |
| [11:29] | God, what’s the word I’m looking for? | 我该怎么措辞? |
| [11:31] | Honest. | 诚实 |
| [11:32] | Mm, thanks, Ted. | 谢谢 泰德 |
| [11:34] | Yeah. You know what’s probably the best part about your honesty? | 你知道你最让我感动的是 |
| [11:36] | How truthful it is. | 你竟然这么诚实 |
| [11:38] | I say we just move on. | 别这么肉麻了 |
| [11:41] | Well, for me to get total closure on this whole | 就让我把 “我的女友结婚了”这件事 |
| [11:43] | “my girlfriend has a husband” thing, | 做一个彻底了断 |
| [11:46] | I think I might need a little bit more information, | 我想再稍微地了解清楚一点 |
| [11:47] | like what month did you get married? | 比如说你是几月结婚的? |
| [11:49] | June. We had a June wedding. | 六月 婚礼是在六月办的 |
| [11:51] | Ah, Canada in June. | 六月的加拿大啊 |
| [11:53] | That’s the dream. | 真是浪漫 |
| [11:56] | Sit-down or buffet? | 是宴会还是自助餐会 ?? |
| [11:59] | Well, it’s… weird that you don’t remember. | 你要是不记得就很奇怪了 |
| [12:02] | No, I just didn’t know how to answer | 我只是不知道该如何回答 |
| [12:04] | because we did butlered hors d’oeuvres in the atrium, | 因为开胃菜 是在大厅里面吃的 |
| [12:07] | but the actual dinner was a buffet in the Food Court | 但宴会实际上 是在餐厅里吃自助餐 |
| [12:10] | featuring a filet mignon or a roasted potato-crusted salmon | 特色菜甜菲力牛排 三文鱼夹心的烤马铃薯卷 |
| [12:13] | with a lobster scallion beurre blanc. | 还有龙虾蘸白葡萄酒酱 |
| [12:19] | Band or DJ? | 乐队和司仪? |
| [12:21] | A string quartet played at the ceremony, | 典礼上有管弦四重奏 |
| [12:23] | but for the actual reception, we had a seven-piece band. | 但在宴会上 是个七人乐队伴唱 |
| [12:26] | We paid extra for the sax | 我们还专门请了一个萨克斯手 |
| [12:28] | ’cause I just love that smooth alto sound. | 因为中音萨克斯的 琴声实在很好听 |
| [12:31] | – How many bridesmaids? – Seven. | – 请了几个伴娘? – 7个 |
| [12:33] | – Flowers? – Azaleas. | – 花束是? – 杜鹃 |
| [12:34] | – Color scheme? – Dusty rose and sienna. | – 色彩方案? – 偏暗的玫瑰色和黄褐色 |
| [12:36] | Husband’s name. | 老公的名字 |
| [12:41] | – You were never married! – Yes, I was. | – 你没结过婚! – 不 我结了 |
| [12:43] | – No, you weren’t. – How do you know? | – 不 你没有 -你怎么知道的? |
| [12:44] | I looked it up at the library. | 我在图书馆里查了 |
| [12:46] | – What library? – The one on Fifth. | – 那个数据图书馆? – 五楼的第一个 |
| [12:49] | – When did you go? – Today at lunch, | – 你什么时候去的? – 今天午饭时候 |
| [12:51] | and I had an apple brie panini with potato salad… | 我点了苹果乾酪和土豆沙拉 |
| [12:53] | I’m not questioning the lunch part, Ted. | 我不是问你午餐吃的什么 |
| [12:56] | What database did you use? | 你从哪得到的数据? |
| [12:57] | I used the Canadian Mall Marriage 6000. | “加拿大商场结婚6000例” |
| [13:03] | Fine, Marshall looked it up at school. | 马修在学校查阅了资料 |
| [13:05] | – You told Marshall?! – You lied to me! | – 你告诉马修了?! – 你对我撒了谎! |
| [13:07] | See, this is why I don’t tell people secrets. | 这就是我为什么 不愿意告诉别人秘密的原因 |
| [13:09] | You were supposed to be the one person I trusted the most | 我把你当成了最能够信任的人 |
| [13:12] | and even you couldn’t keep a secret. | 你都不能守住秘密 |
| [13:13] | But it was a fake secret. | 但这是一个假秘密 |
| [13:15] | Yeah, I was testing you and you failed. | 我只是测试一下你 你是不及格的 |
| [13:17] | And now you’re never gonna know why I don’t go to the mall. | 现在你将永远 别想知道我为什么不去商场 |
| [13:19] | And it’s good, too. | 这样是最好的 |
| [13:21] | You were testing me? That’s insane. | 你在测试我?真难以置信 |
| [13:23] | Oh, yeah? How long did it take for you to tell Marshall | 是么 难以置信的是 你才知道了多久 |
| [13:26] | my biggest secret in the world? Five minutes? | 就把我的秘密告诉了马修? 有五分钟没? |
| [13:29] | – That wasn’t a real secret! – Yeah, but it could have been. | – 那根本就不是真的秘密! – 但它也有可能是 |
| [13:32] | You are driving me crazy! | 你让我要崩裂了! |
| [13:33] | No wonder your fake husband moved to Hong Kong. | 难怪你的冒牌丈夫逃去了香港 |
| [13:35] | He moved there for business. | 他是因为工作才去的 |
| [13:39] | You. | 你 |
| [13:40] | You got something to say to me? | 没什么事要告诉我么? |
| [13:42] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢? |
| [13:43] | I know Robin was never really married. | 我知道罗宾根本就没结婚 |
| [13:47] | How could you possibly know that? | 你是怎么知道的? |
| [13:53] | And then I put on my pajamas and got into bed. | 然后我就穿上睡裤钻进被窝了 |
| [13:57] | How about you? | 你呢? |
| [13:59] | Oh, let’s see, uh, first I took the subway to school. | 让我想想 我先是乘地铁到学校 |
| [14:02] | Then I got a bagel. | 吃了个面包 |
| [14:03] | Then I went to the library and found out Robin was never married. | 然后去了图书馆查资料 发现罗宾其实没结婚 |
| [14:05] | Crazy. | 受了打击 |
| [14:06] | Then I was hungry again, so I went down to the vending machine, | 结果我又饿了 就去了自动售货机那儿 |
| [14:09] | but by the time I got down there, I wasn’t even hungry anymore. | 但到我走到那儿时 我又不饿了 |
| [14:13] | – You told him? – I had to. | – 你告诉他了? – 没办法 |
| [14:15] | I’m Slap Bet Commissioner. | 我是这次打赌的监察官 |
| [14:17] | Believe me, this hurts me more than it’s gonna hurt you. | 相信我 我是看在眼里疼在心上 |
| [14:21] | Don’t count on it. I’ve been practicing on a tree trunk. | 废话少说 我在树上 已经练习过好多次了 |
| [14:24] | – Barney gets three slaps. – Three? | – 巴尼要打你三个耳光 – 三个? |
| [14:27] | One because you lied | 一个是因为你说谎了 |
| [14:29] | and two for being prematurely slapped. | 还有两个是没得到 我允许就打巴尼的惩罚 |
| [14:31] | Three slaps. | 一共三个 |
| [14:32] | But– | 但是… |
| [14:37] | Oh, my God. | 不是吧 |
| [14:39] | – Are you gonna cry? – No. | – 你要哭了? – 哪有 |
| [14:42] | You’re gonna cry. | 你才哭了呢 |
| [14:46] | I just don’t think it’s healthy to keep big secrets in a relationship. | 我认为保守秘密会影响感情发展的 |
| [14:49] | My parents didn’t really talk to each other for 30 years | 我父母三十年都不怎么沟通 |
| [14:51] | and now they’re divorced. | 搞得现在离婚了 |
| [14:52] | I have shared more of myself with you | 我是让你更了解我 |
| [14:54] | than I’ve ever shared with anyone. | 而不是所有人 |
| [14:56] | I’m asking for this one secret, | 就让我留这一个秘密 |
| [14:58] | which has nothing to do with us, to just be mine. | 它对我们的感情不会有影响的 |
| [15:04] | So I just got a very interesting phone call. | 我刚接到了一个有趣的电话 |
| [15:07] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢? |
| [15:08] | I know Robin’s secret. | 罗宾的秘密我知道 |
| [15:10] | – What? – That’s right. | – 什么? – 没错 |
| [15:12] | I know your secret, Robin. | 我知道了你的秘密 罗宾 |
| [15:13] | Or should I say Robin Sparkles? | 还是我应该叫你罗宾火花? |
| [15:17] | How do you know that name? | 你怎么知道这个名字的? |
| [15:19] | Because I know the truth, | 因为我知道真相 |
| [15:21] | and I am about to show it to you right now. | 并且我现在就向你们证明 |
| [15:24] | Gather ’round, Ted, you’re gonna want to see this. | 过来 泰德 你肯定想知道这个 |
| [15:25] | Yeah, no, I don’t. | 我不 不要 |
| [15:27] | What? | 什么? |
| [15:28] | Robin wants to keep this a secret, so… | 罗宾想保留这个秘密 所以… |
| [15:30] | it’s gonna stay a secret. | 就让它成为秘密吧 |
| [15:32] | Yeah, it’s not gonna stay a secret. | 它不会一直是秘密的 |
| [15:35] | You see, in my research, | 在我的调查中 |
| [15:36] | I came upon a certain gentleman in Malaysia | 我认识了某一马来西亚的男子 |
| [15:38] | who is in possession of a certain videotape. | 他有一盘录像带 |
| [15:41] | He just emailed me that it will be up and running | 准备在邮件中给我发送过来 |
| [15:44] | on My Space in about… right now. | 现在刚好发完 |
| [15:48] | Robin’s world is about to be turned upside-down. | 罗宾的世界会天翻地覆的 |
| [15:52] | I mean, I’m guessing. | 我猜的 |
| [15:53] | Barney, don’t, okay? | 巴尼 别这样 好么? |
| [15:54] | Robin, please don’t panic. | 罗宾 别惊慌 |
| [15:57] | I’m only gonna show enough to prove to Marshall I was right. | 我只是想给马修证明我是对的 |
| [15:59] | No, Barney, I said we’re not watching this. | 不 巴尼 我说了我们不看 |
| [16:01] | No, it’s time. | 算了 总有这么一天的 |
| [16:03] | Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, | 我很欣慰你愿意这么做 |
| [16:04] | but if it’s out there, there’s no point in trying to hide it anymore. | 但是纸终究包不住火 |
| [16:08] | Let’s just watch it and be done with it. | 还是面对现实 看看吧 |
| [16:11] | Are you as terrified as I am? | 你跟我一样觉得紧张么? |
| [16:13] | I don’t want to get slapped again. | 我可不想再被打耳光了 |
| [16:18] | I want to stress that I was young. | 我想强调一下 那时我太年轻了 |
| [16:21] | Yeah, you were. | 可以理解 |
| [16:22] | And I didn’t know any better. | 我不知道怎么做才是好的 |
| [16:23] | They never do. | 怎么都不会好 |
| [16:25] | And it started out as an innocent modeling job. | 那刚开始只是单纯的模特工作 |
| [16:28] | It always does. | 都是这么入门的 |
| [16:30] | Please, Mr. Johnson. | 拜托了 约翰逊先生 |
| [16:32] | I’m sorry I was a bad girl. | 我知道是我不好 |
| [16:35] | Please don’t give me detention. | 不要关我禁闭好么 |
| [16:38] | Isn’t there something I can do to make it up to you? | 要不要我做点什么弥补一下? |
| [16:46] | Oh, my God. | 我的天哪 |
| [16:48] | Well, obviously, I’ve been proven right, | 显而易见 我才是正确的 |
| [16:50] | so in the interest of Robin’s dignity, | 为了维护罗宾的尊严 |
| [16:52] | I won’t show anymore. | 演示到此为止 |
| [16:53] | Plus, it’s getting late. It’s already slap o’clock. | 好了 时间不早了 该到行刑时间了 |
| [16:58] | What the hell was that? | 你们在搞什么? |
| [16:59] | Uh, I slap bet Marshall that you did porn, so I win. | 我和马修打赌说 你是拍A片的 我赢了 |
| [17:02] | Porn? I wish it was porn. It would be less embarrassing. | A片? 是就好了 也没这个丢人 |
| [17:07] | I know. | 我知道了 |
| [17:08] | How about I sing you a song? | 我为你唱首歌怎样? |
| [17:18] | Let’s go to the mall, everybody! | 大家一起去商场! |
| [17:27] | I was a teenage pop star in Canada. | 我在加拿大是个青春偶像 |
| [17:40] | This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. | 这是我见过最惊悚的事了 |
| [17:43] | – That’s you? – Yes. | – 那是你? – 是 |
| [17:45] | I had one minor hit. | 我出了张唱片 |
| [17:47] | I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls. | 所以不得不在 全加拿大的商场里作宣传 |
| [17:51] | For a whole year, I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel’s Pretzels. | 整整一年我忙的 只能喝橘子汁吃椒盐卷饼 |
| [18:09] | If this is the ’90s, why does it look like 1986? | 这是90年代 怎么看起来象80年代 |
| [18:12] | The ’80s didn’t come to Canada till, like, ’93. | 美国93年的时候 加拿大还处在80年代 |
| [18:17] | Taking a break from the first of many, many viewings, | 在观看的过程中我要打断一下 |
| [18:21] | I can’t help but notice that this isn’t porn. | 我肯定这不是A片 |
| [18:24] | And yet, a slap occurred without the permission | 所以 不用请示监察官了 |
| [18:26] | of the Slap Bet Commissioner. | 直接执行吧 |
| [18:28] | Looks like somebody suffered from premature slapulation. | 现在我要 “以其人之道还治其人之身” |
| [18:32] | Oh, my God, Robin’s rapping. | 我的天 罗宾还能念rap |
| [18:34] | Guys, Robin’s rapping. | 看 她在念rap |
| [18:39] | Okay, I’m going to give you a choice. | 这样 给你两个选择 |
| [18:41] | Either ten slaps right now in a row, | 要么现在一次打十个耳光 |
| [18:44] | or five slaps that can be doled out | 要么就是5个耳光 但是场合不限 |
| [18:47] | at any point from here to eternity. | 时间没有截止点 |
| [18:50] | You go with the ten now. | 你选一次打十个吧 |
| [18:52] | No way, why get ten when you can get five? | 别 不是可以选只挨5个的么? |
| [18:54] | Yeah, but the constant fear of knowing that at any moment, | 但是你会一直处于 耳光不知何时降临的 |
| [18:56] | you could get slapped in the face, would drive you crazy. | 提心吊胆中 会让你精神崩溃的 |
| [18:57] | I’m going to go with the five for eternity. | 我选打5个 |
| [18:59] | – Good call. – Horrible call. | – 选的好 – 选错了 |
| [19:03] | Relax, dude, I’m just going for my soda, man. | 别紧张 哥们 我只是拿我的汽水而已 |
| [19:06] | Take it easy. | 放松点 |
| [19:06] | This is going to be fun. | 别那么搞笑啊 |
| [19:16] | So just to be clear, | 请问一下 |
| [19:18] | you wanted everybody to go to the mall today? | 你那么想让大家 在今天 去商场? |
| [19:23] | Wow, we’re going to watch this a lot. | 我们会反复欣赏这个”经典”的 |
| [19:26] | I can’t believe I ever wore a Bedazzled jean jacket. | 简直难以相信 我竟然穿着贝德丝牛仔夹克 |
| [19:30] | Hey, just so you know, | 那你知道么 |
| [19:31] | 16-year-old me would have been all over you. | 十六岁的我 如果遇见你就会一见钟情 |
| [19:34] | You could have been the girlfriend in Canada I told everyone I had. | 而你就是我曾跟别人提起过 在加拿大时的女朋友 |
| [19:37] | Hey, uh, I’m really sorry I pried this out of you. | 很抱歉我窥探了这个秘密 |
| [19:40] | I probably should have left it alone. | 我应该让它一直埋藏下去的 |
| [19:42] | You know what? | 那有什么? |
| [19:44] | You know me better now. | 你对我更加了解了 |
| [19:46] | That feels kind of nice. | 这样不是更好么 |
| [19:54] | That’s one. | 这是第一个 |
| [20:13] | Wow. Did you have to laugh like that every time? | 你是不是每次都得这么笑着唱? |
| [20:14] | Yes. | 是啊 |
| [20:33] | The robot. Hey! | 机器人 嗨! |
| [20:40] | No, she doesn’t want to wait. | 不 是她迫不及待了 |